1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,305
Previously on The Last Man
on Earth...
GAIL: To Gordon.

2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,140
ALL: Gordon.
Easy come, easy go.

3
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,841
Todd, will you marry me?
(Phil 2 groans)

4
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,477
Phil.
Phil.
Oh, my God.

5
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,678
I love you, bud.

6
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,680
Captain Mike Miller,
signing off.

7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:13,814
FEMALE VOICE:
Air lock engaging.

8
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,383
Oh, my God.

9
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,020
(Mike grunting)

10
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,866
(whimpering, panting)

11
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,371
(crying)

12
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,243
*

13
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,351
Hi.

14
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,352
Hey, little guy.

15
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,886
(laughs)

16
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,589
I'm Mike, Mike Miller.

17
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,431
(groaning)

18
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,765
Okay, it-it
says here

19
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,200
it could be
appendicitis,

20
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,035
but it could be just gas.

21
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,570
(groaning):
It isn't gas.

22
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,240
Well, we need to do
our due diligence here.

23
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,308
Will you try to blow out
a fart for me?

24
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,043
Hey, bud, how about
a real quick fart?

25
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,211
Just anything you got.

26
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,579
(growling):
It isn't gas.

27
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:19,880
Okay, you don't have
to get upset.

28
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,282
He's in pain.

29
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,617
Well, I am just running
through the checklist here.

30
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,286
I don't see any
of you chuckleheads

31
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,787
doing anything to help.

32
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,656
Maybe we should get him
some flat ginger ale?

33
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,724
Carol, come on, flat ginger
ale makes you fart?!

34
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,892
We need to focus here.

35
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,727
We're talking beans,
we're talking broccoli.

36
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,396
Anything in the
cabbage family.

37
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,298
Ginger ale sounds good.
Uh, Carol,

38
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,333
what's the ETA on
that ginger ale?
Okay.

39
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,068
Okay, should we elevate
his feet a little bit?
(screaming)

40
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,271
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
No!

41
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:46,240
Gail, what about aspirin?
Uh, I-I don't know.

42
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,841
I don't know.
Vicodin.

43
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:48,909
Vicodin?
Oh, yeah, we've got Vicodin.

44
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,010
Vicodin!
I have Vicodin
in my room.

45
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,645
PHIL 2: Ow.
Here, take my hand, braheem.

46
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,113
Ow!
Aah, nobody touch his hands!

47
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,415
Gail, do something!

48
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,150
I'm not a freakin' doctor!

49
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:59,487
I am just a chef
from a three-star restaurant

50
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,155
in Wilmington, North Carolina,

51
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,191
so shut your friggin'
cake holes!

52
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,562
Suge, I am really gonna need you
to blow a fart out for me.

53
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,833
Hey, uh, I don't know.

54
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,935
Should we talk about the, uh,
you know, the proposal or...?

55
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,137
Uh, Todd, we have
bigger fish to fry.

56
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,340
Help me look
for these pills.

57
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,276
Yeah, I-I know, I just...

58
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,644
I wanted to make sure
you were okay.

59
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,280
Why wouldn't I be?

60
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,981
Just know I never meant
to hurt you.

61
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,051
Oh.

62
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,086
So it's a no?

63
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,191
Uh, y... you didn't hear?

64
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,628
No, that... that's fine though.

65
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,796
Um, yeah, uh, I just
kind of threw it out there.

66
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,132
I was... I-I was expecting a no,

67
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,668
so it's not a... real big deal.

68
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,036
Either way.

69
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,674
You sure?

70
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,142
Totally.

71
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,644
You're awesome.

72
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,879
You're awesome.
Yeah, you are.

73
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,848
(Phil 2 groans)
Uh, go, go, go, go.

74
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,483
Take these to Phil,
I'll keep looking for more.

75
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,652
Okay.

76
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,321
GAIL: Okay, so the symptoms
of appendicitis

77
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:10,658
are lower right-side abdominal
pain, nausea, diarrhea,

78
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,193
inability to pass gas, fever,

79
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,828
a sense that you might
feel better

80
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,996
after passing stool.

81
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,532
Do any of these
apply to you?

82
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,568
It's appendicitis.

83
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,437
Okay, so what are our options?

84
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:26,106
We really only have one.

85
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,908
Somebody's got to take it out.

86
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,911
What happens if we
don't take it out?

87
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:35,583
It says here, "Failure to remove
a ruptured appendix

88
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:39,253
results in death," like,
a hundred percent of the time.

89
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,355
I am not liking
those odds, guys.

90
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,590
Take it out.

91
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,227
I guess this one falls
to our ersatz doctor.

92
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,730
(chanting): Gail,
Gail, Gail, Gail.

93
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,600
Stop it, Tandy,
I'm not a doctor.

94
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,934
And the Wright brothers
weren't pilots

95
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,936
until they got
into that plane, you know?

96
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,271
(chanting):
Gail, Gail.

97
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,607
Gail, Gail,
Gail...

98
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,941
Gail.

99
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,344
ERICA: Gail.
PHIL 2: Gail. Take it out, Gail.

100
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,947
(knocking on door)
Ugh, go away.

101
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,649
Doctor is not in.

102
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,421
Gail.

103
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,460
You have to do this.

104
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,129
Erica, you know
perfectly well

105
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,265
that I never claimed
to be a doctor.

106
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:28,936
Yes, I'm good for a couple
of stitches or some basic CPR,

107
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,638
but surgery?

108
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,641
That is a giant
hell to the no.

109
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,908
Not happening.

110
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,076
Unsubscribe.

111
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,479
Phil's gonna die
if we don't do something.

112
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,515
Look, Erica,
let's just face reality.

113
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,084
No one here
can fix him.

114
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,086
We've all been
through this before.

115
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,421
We know the drill.

116
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,424
Let's just give him
some kick-ass drugs

117
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,693
and send him off with a smile.

118
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,463
Gail, he's the father
of my child.

119
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,772
I'll give it a shot.

120
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,807
Thank you.

121
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,948
Look, Gail,
I know you're scared...

122
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,484
I'm gonna do it, Tandy.

123
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,787
(blows twice)

124
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,489
And that's
how you do that.

125
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,726
Idiot.

126
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:33,467
I can't believe
I didn't see you.

127
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:37,805
Right there under my nose,
and I just totally missed you.

128
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,507
(chuckles)

129
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,143
I just missed you.

130
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,178
You were there all along.

131
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,153
Hey.

132
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,188
All right, we got to come up
with a name for you, huh?

133
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,825
How about Wormsley? Wormifer?

134
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,827
Dennis Rodman.

135
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,161
You know?

136
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,830
You get that reference?

137
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,665
His nickname was "The Worm."

138
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,167
Actually, I say

139
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,571
we go with something classic.

140
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,445
*

141
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,517
Hey, bud.

142
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,586
I brought you a card.

143
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,255
Don't read it,
it's for your 50th.

144
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,091
Which is happening
above ground, you hear me?

145
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,360
I'm gonna tuck it
in here.

146
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,895
Let's see
how you're doing.

147
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,799
Pulse feels good.

148
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,701
Tandy, just let him rest.

149
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,370
I will.
But not in peace.

150
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,372
But I need you
to promise me

151
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,075
that we are gonna sit down
and laugh about this

152
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,077
when we are old and gray. Okay?

153
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,646
Or when I'm gray
and when your pubes are gray.

154
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,383
Don't worry, little guy.

155
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,385
You'll meet your father.

156
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,387
You son of a bitch appendix!

157
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,255
Okay, we're gonna make sure
we get your sorry ass

158
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,991
out of that body, okay?

159
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,126
You hear me,
you friggin' turd?!

160
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,396
I'm so sorry you had
to hear that, sweet baby.

161
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,567
Okay? But when you come out,
it's gonna be nice and smooth.

162
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,569
Your dad will not be dead,
and you can quote

163
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,070
Uncle Tandy on that.

164
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,840
'Cause Uncle Tandy knows
something you don't know.

165
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,309
And that's that you always
bet on black.

166
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,578
Props to my friend
Wesley Snipes for that.

167
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:28,749
Get out of here, Tandy. Okay.

168
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,084
I'll go.
Yeah.

169
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:35,022
But I'm not saying good-bye.

170
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,858
CAROL: (sighs)
Okay, just grab

171
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,660
anything and everything,

172
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,796
'cause you never know
what Gail might need.

173
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,600
This day is a real stinkerooni.

174
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,301
I don't want to say
Phil ruined Christmas,

175
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,303
but he might have ruined
Christmas, and...

176
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,139
(grunts)

177
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,674
Melissa, you missed the bag.

178
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,310
(crying)

179
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,947
Are you all right?

180
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,615
No.
Oh, no.

181
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,450
What is it? Come here.
What is it?

182
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,453
(gasps) Are you crying?
Oh, God.

183
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,521
No. I'm sorry.

184
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:10,624
Goll almighty,
get in here, lady.

185
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,459
(gasps)
Oh.

186
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,295
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.

187
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,330
Melissa, you're finally

188
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,167
opening up,
and I'm so proud of you.

189
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,303
But I'm gonna need you to shut
it right back down, lady.

190
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,572
Phil needs us.

191
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,239
So just box that up,

192
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,542
we'll go save his life,
and then we'll come back

193
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,711
and dig into
those delicious feelings.

194
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,313
It's what I like to call
an emotional doggy bag.

195
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,984
And they taste even better
the next day.

196
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,186
Okay.

197
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,354
All right, let's go!

198
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:45,025
Okay, it says here the initial
incision should be two inches,

199
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,095
five millimeters deep.

200
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,864
Damn it.

201
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:54,534
It's okay. (chuckles)
Your next patient.

202
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,106
Do you, um,

203
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,742
think you should go be
with Melissa?

204
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,745
No, I-I think we
should focus on this.

205
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,847
Unless you want me to leave.

206
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,515
No.

207
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,251
Please stay.

208
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,222
Okay.
(exhales)

209
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,124
Now we're cookin'.

210
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,793
Okay. Now take
the 6B clamps

211
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,063
and open the incision.

212
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,032
Damn it.

213
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,368
All right. Toss me another
one of those hand pies, Todd.

214
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,203
You got it.

215
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,907
Oop, looks like someone,
uh, lost another pie-tient.

216
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,609
(chuckles)
Boom.

217
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,911
But in all seriousness, Gail,

218
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,747
is there anything
I can do to help?

219
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,952
There is one thing
you guys could get for me.

220
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,420
All right. Well,
let's just, uh,

221
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,056
you know,
open a drawer, pick a bod,

222
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,724
and get the hell out of here.

223
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,059
I think they're
called lockers.

224
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,460
Eh, I said that with
such confidence.

225
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,628
Honestly, I have no idea.

226
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,896
No, no, no. That's fine.

227
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,164
We'll just call 'em
body lockers.

228
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,932
We'll know
what we're talking about, right?

229
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,433
I was in a hip-hop
dance group in college

230
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,434
called the Body Lockers.

231
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,736
Very funny, Todd.

232
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,437
No, that's-that's true. I was.

233
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,908
Shut the front door. What?
Yeah.

234
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,243
We were good, too. Yeah.
We-we had some paid gigs.

235
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,280
We did a show for State
Senator Tom Scofield.

236
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,782
Scofield. No crap.

237
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,084
You know, we got to focus here.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

238
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,286
Yeah.
Okay.

239
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,922
Do a couple moves.

240
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,456
(chuckles)

241
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,591
Cool, all right.
I have...

242
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,625
Let's see, I'm
a little rusty,

243
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,627
but I think I can
do a little...

244
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,296
You got it...
What?

245
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,530
Give me...
give me your flashlight.
What? Yeah.

246
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,665
Here, give me your light,
give me your light.

247
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,666
Club atmosphere.

248
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,667
I'm just trying to...

249
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:34,802
Club atmosphere.

250
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,103
...incorporate it into it,
but, I guess...

251
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,170
Oh!

252
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,939
Rolling at the club.
I think...

253
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:39,940
Rolling at the club.

254
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,208
Bottle full of bub.

255
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,275
(laughs):
Nice!

256
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,643
Thanks, man.
Hey!

257
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,278
(laughs)
Very good. Okay.

258
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,613
Let's focus up.
Focus up.
Yeah.

259
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,482
Okay, let's open up
James McMaster.

260
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,821
(sighs):
Whew.

261
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,656
James McMaster is more of
a skeleton than a cadaver.

262
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,125
Cadaver? I hardly knew her.

263
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,492
Boom.

264
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,629
(chuckles) Not really
the appropriate time for that.

265
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,831
Okay.

266
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,634
Okay, let's see
what is under

267
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,137
door number...

268
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,504
Nope.

269
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:14,541
Okay, God, that looks more like
my nana's junk drawer.

270
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:18,145
No offense... Tawny Daniels.

271
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,481
These poor bodies
just did not keep.

272
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,885
And Gail needs something she can
really practice on, you know?

273
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,520
I think she needs a pancake
that's a little fresher

274
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,522
off the griddle,
if you know what I'm saying.

275
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,758
Tandy, you better not
be thinking

276
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,192
what I think you're thinking.

277
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,228
Sorry, Gordon.

278
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,803
(sighs)

279
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,407
Ugh!

280
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,743
Think I need some of that
Clarice Starling

281
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,678
under-the-nose cream.

282
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,180
(grunts)

283
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,515
Oh! Oh! I think I hit something.

284
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,018
Oh, yeah, that feels like skull.

285
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,552
Oh, yeah, and
there's some neck

286
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,788
and ribs.

287
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,522
Don't worry, Gordon,
I'm not gonna come

288
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,857
anywhere near those balls.

289
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,025
Hey, Todd, come on.

290
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,027
I need your help, man.
Get in here.

291
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,595
You know, Tandy,
I don't think I can, man.

292
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,530
This isn't like the morgue.
I mean, I knew this guy.

293
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,132
This is Gordon, man.

294
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,401
I know this is hard,
but Gordon's dead,

295
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,736
and there's nothing we can do
to bring him back to life.

296
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,105
Okay.

297
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,774
Yeah, get down here.

298
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,776
(sobbing softly)

299
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,711
Sorry, Tandy, I can't, man.

300
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,079
Suck it up, Todd!

301
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,214
I can't, man!

302
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,216
(crying):
I'm spinning out!

303
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,451
There's just all this stuff,
you know?

304
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,888
Break up with Melissa,
Phil's getting sick,

305
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,624
I'm having sex with Gail,
and now I'm digging up Gordon.

306
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,892
I can't, man.
I just can't.

307
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,227
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Back up.

308
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,561
You're having
sex with Gail?

309
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,096
(sniffles)
Yes.

310
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,967
Three times. We did it once, and
then we did it two more times.

311
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,902
Does Melissa know?
Are you kidding me?!

312
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,904
No!

313
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,772
I went straight from
breaking up with Melissa

314
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,241
to laying with Gail.

315
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,944
And now I'm digging up
her ex.

316
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,512
Sorry, Gordo, man!

317
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,314
I'm out of control, brother!

318
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,783
You're having sex
with Gail and Melissa?

319
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,585
You dirty dog.

320
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,087
Hey, up top, man.

321
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,755
You're missing
the point, Tandy!

322
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,458
This is the straw
that broke the camel's back!

323
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,927
The camel is dead, and I ate it!

324
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,328
Just like the bacon!

325
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,830
Todd! Todd!
Which is
another thing I did!

326
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,832
Todd! Get ahold
of yourself, man!
(sobbing)

327
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,767
Hey, hey! Okay?

328
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,835
Are you finished?
Yeah.

329
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,603
'Cause there's a man
up in that house

330
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,938
that needs our
help right now.

331
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,473
And if we don't focus,

332
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,976
we're gonna be digging another
hole right next to this one.

333
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:29,977
Okay?

334
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,811
So shut your
frickin' turd hole

335
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,613
and grab your
dead buddy's legs.

336
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,482
Come on!
Okay.

337
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:41,488
(both grunting)

338
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,056
(coughs)

339
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,858
Oh, this
frickin' reeks!

340
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,860
(grunting continues)

341
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,996
Take a shower, dude.

342
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,675
Gail.

343
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:06,813
Todd and I have something
that Todd wants to tell you.

344
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,681
I do?
Yeah.

345
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,254
Uh, there was kind of
a hiccup at the morgue,

346
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,556
so we had to improvise.

347
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,557
Uh...

348
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,492
the results of which

349
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,330
might be slightly upsetting,
but...

350
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,564
What is that?

351
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,900
Oh.

352
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,369
Melissa and Carol
found this for me.

353
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,338
It's for surgery students.

354
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,174
It's got, like,
guts and skin

355
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,077
and appendix--
every-everything I need.

356
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,346
So you won't be needing
a cadaver?

357
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,914
Hardly knew her. Boom.

358
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,215
Why, did you find one?

359
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,184
No, we did...
uh, no, we did not.

360
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,585
Uh, not anywhere.

361
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,021
Wait, what did you
guys want to tell me?

362
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,357
Uh, just that, you know,
Todd, uh, was once

363
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,560
in a hip-hop dance group
called The Body Lockers.

364
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,204
(whispers):
Yeah.

365
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,472
Why would
that upset me?

366
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:06,606
I think that's
beautiful.

367
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,475
Oh.
When I look
at it this time,

368
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:09,709
it doesn't upset me.

369
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,211
It's like, I don't know
what I was thinking.

370
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,946
'Cause it's great.
Thanks, Tandy.

371
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,257
(both grunting)

372
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,933
ERICA:
Hey.

373
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,235
Don't worry, okay?

374
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,138
It's gonna work.
Gail's been practicing.

375
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,978
I'm sorry for how things
went down between us.

376
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,579
Don't apologize.

377
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,914
You didn't do anything wrong.

378
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,617
You were just saying
how you felt.

379
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,153
Besides, we can talk about
all this when you're better.

380
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:56,089
When I'm better.

381
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,757
Hey, buddy.

382
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,259
I found a medicine
you can't buy.

383
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,661
It's called laughter.
Oh!

384
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:05,265
JK.
(chuckles)

385
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,167
How's it looking, huh?

386
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,137
He's in
a lot of pain, Tandy.

387
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,139
(sighs)

388
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,441
(mutters): Can you come here?
I want to ask you something.

389
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,144
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Permission to buzz the tower?

390
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,612
(mutters):
Can you get me some water?

391
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:23,183
You want me to be the father

392
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,652
of your unborn child?

393
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,454
(quick exhale)

394
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,323
(laughs)

395
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,792
Can you get me some water?

396
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,362
Oh, water. Yes.

397
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,831
That's what
I thought you said.

398
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,733
I will get the water.

399
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,635
Yeah. Yeah.

400
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,472
(chuckles)
Wa...

401
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,641
Water coming up.
Happy to...

402
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,643
(chuckles)

403
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,545
Friggin' bag.

404
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:55,982
(chuckles)
Laughter.

405
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,350
MIKE:
Oh, come on, you don't think
I've thought of this,

406
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,485
like, a million times?

407
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,653
No, I-I'm...

408
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,256
No, I'm telling you
it's impossible, okay?

409
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,857
Yes, it is.

410
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:08,161
Come on, there's no mission
control, there's no nothing.

411
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:10,163
There's no way we can do it.

412
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,732
It's impossible.

413
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,501
You don't know

414
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,736
what you're talking about.

415
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:20,673
I know time is running out.

416
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,709
But I'm scared.

417
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,357
(loud groaning)

418
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,093
Oh, that don't look right.

419
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,729
Okay, back to the drawing board.

420
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,698
Gail, we got to do this.

421
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,301
Okay, I-I just need
one more dry run.

422
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,869
Just-just one sec.

423
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,538
No, it's got to be now, Gail.

424
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,140
Okay, I'm... You know what,
I'm gonna take

425
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,042
a quick smoke break and then
we're gonna go right to it.

426
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,744
(groans)
Gail.

427
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,078
Oh,

428
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,214
Phil. Oh, my God.

429
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,317
Oh, my God, Phil!

430
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,419
Oh, farts.

431
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,794
(beeps)

432
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,231
You ready, Phil?

433
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,766
I'll take that as a yes.

434
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:23,069
What do you say we take this
baby out on the open road, huh,

435
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,438
and, uh, we'll see
what she can do.

436
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,342
Okay...

437
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,777
here goes nothing.

438
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:31,978
(engine whirrs)

439
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,813
COMPUTER VOICE:
Separation sequence initiated.

440
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,749
(monitor beeps steadily)
Okay, Todd, we're doing this.

441
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,951
Phil, do you
have enough pills

442
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,621
in you, honey?
Are you feeling any pain?

443
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,258
I want you to know I'm gonna
do the very best I can, okay?

444
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,494
Although I am not a doctor...

445
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,761
I probably shouldn't say that.

446
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,297
It's okay.

447
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,174
Okay.

448
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,811
Here we go.

449
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,846
(monitor beeping steadily)

450
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,717
Oh, I can't.

451
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,151
I...
Gail.

452
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,525
Just like we practiced, okay?

453
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,493
Okay.

454
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,632
(computer beeping,
engine humming)

455
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,966
(monitor beeping steadily)

456
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,536
Okay, hand me
the clampy thing.

457
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,070
Okay.
No, no,
the, the, bigger one.

458
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,372
Okay.
Yeah.

459
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,675
Okay.

460
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,878
(alarm beeping,
engine rumbling)

461
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,313
I found it.
Found it? Yeah?

462
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,549
I think I feel it. Okay.
Oh, good. Okay.

463
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,650
Hard to see.

464
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,385
We just got to
cut it out.
Yeah.

465
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,354
(alarms wailing,
engine rumbling)

466
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,556
Does that look right?
It looks great. You got it.

467
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,359
No, no, no, something's wrong,

468
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,993
it's filling up
with blood.
(monitor beeping faster)

469
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,094
What do you want to do?
I-I-I...

470
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,195
What do you...
Just get the suction thing!

471
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,964
What? What? Uh...
The suction thing.

472
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,200
(rapid beeping, alarms wailing)

473
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,871
Gail, his BP's dropping.
Come on! Come on.

474
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,072
It's dropping.

475
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,607
It's just...
I can't see anything.

476
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,641
TODD:
We gotta... I know, Gail.

477
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,011
Hey, buddy, I'm not
gonna lie to you.

478
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,846
It's not looking good.

479
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,682
If we don't make it,

480
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,684
I'll see you
in the next life, okay?

481
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,019
His BP, it's dropping, it's
dropping. That's not good.
What?

482
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,521
Here. Should I grab some towels?
Oh, God. What-what do I do?

483
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,722
I don't know.

484
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,925
It's breaking up!
It's breaking up!

485
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,894
I'm just gonna pack it.
It's filling up with blood

486
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,562
as fast as I can do it!
I know. I know.

487
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,230
Suction, suction!
TODD: Yeah! Okay!

488
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,733
*

489
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,402
(screaming)

490
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,769
(rapid beeping)
Look, it won't stop bleeding!

491
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:37,970
Come on, Todd, damn it!

492
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,205
I'm trying to stop it!
I can't, Gail!

493
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,707
What do we do?
GAIL: I don't know!

494
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,108
(screaming)

495
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,243
Come on, buddy, don't do this!

496
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,712
(screaming)

497
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,147
This isn't right! Oh, my God.

498
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,249
(screaming)

499
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,521
(flatline tone)

500
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,497
CHILDREN:
Uncle Stinky.

501
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,998
(horn honking)

502
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,000
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH