1 00:00:00,166 --> 00:00:03,401 [piano music] 2 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,755 [indistinct chatter] 3 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:08,147 - Hey. - Hey. 4 00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,374 You made it. 5 00:00:09,504 --> 00:00:11,265 What's so important you couldn't text? 6 00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,275 Ooh, they have champagne here? 7 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,076 They only had the champagne of beers. 8 00:00:15,101 --> 00:00:16,968 - Mm. - [chuckles] 9 00:00:16,993 --> 00:00:18,728 [laughing] What are we celebrating? 10 00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:21,052 I got this crazy call today. 11 00:00:21,077 --> 00:00:22,366 This magazine wants me to be 12 00:00:22,391 --> 00:00:24,320 in their "Young Creatives" issue. 13 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:26,220 Oh, that's great. Congrats. 14 00:00:26,245 --> 00:00:27,768 - Oh, thanks. - What's the magazine? 15 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:29,529 "T Magazine"? 16 00:00:29,554 --> 00:00:30,510 - Josh. - Hmm? 17 00:00:30,535 --> 00:00:32,591 You're gonna be in "The New York Times"? 18 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:34,503 - Tell me everything! - Okay, okay. 19 00:00:34,528 --> 00:00:37,913 Uh, so this creative director, Greta Lin... she called me. 20 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,138 She's, uh, curating the issue. 21 00:00:40,163 --> 00:00:42,483 She wants to hang out for a few days, 22 00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,946 get to know me, talk, do a little photo shoot. 23 00:00:44,971 --> 00:00:46,472 She's coming to see the band tomorrow, 24 00:00:46,497 --> 00:00:50,799 so do you want to come interrupt me 25 00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:53,088 when I say dumb stuff? 26 00:00:53,113 --> 00:00:55,055 Josh, do you read "The New York Times"? 27 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,197 They have fact-checkers... 28 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,963 People whose entire job it is 29 00:00:57,988 --> 00:01:00,855 to pry into your record and dig up every single mundane thing. 30 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,880 - Okay. - And they're obsessed with age. 31 00:01:02,905 --> 00:01:04,955 "Mrs. Clinton, 67. Ms. Theron, 40." 32 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,165 - Okay. - You might as well call it 33 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:07,288 "'The New York Times' How Old Are You?" 34 00:01:07,313 --> 00:01:08,798 - Okay. - I... 35 00:01:08,823 --> 00:01:10,467 You don't have to come. 36 00:01:11,199 --> 00:01:14,011 Let's go find some real champagne. 37 00:01:14,036 --> 00:01:16,169 - [glasses clink] - Okay. 38 00:01:16,194 --> 00:01:19,016 [upbeat pop music] 39 00:01:19,041 --> 00:01:22,339 ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:23,827 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 41 00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:30,218 I just can't believe 42 00:01:30,243 --> 00:01:32,490 everyone is so excited about a sample chapter. 43 00:01:32,515 --> 00:01:34,126 A great sample chapter... 44 00:01:34,151 --> 00:01:36,151 from a PhD who specializes 45 00:01:36,176 --> 00:01:38,212 in drop-kicking lazy 20-somethings 46 00:01:38,237 --> 00:01:40,347 out of their parents' rec room and into adulthood. 47 00:01:40,372 --> 00:01:42,509 Everyone here can smell a hit. 48 00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,876 "The Deciding Decade"... 49 00:01:43,901 --> 00:01:46,178 [scoffs] It's gonna be a monster. 50 00:01:47,845 --> 00:01:49,044 [gasps] 51 00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:51,160 Excuse me. 52 00:01:51,185 --> 00:01:54,019 Aren't you Diana Trout's assistant? 53 00:01:54,044 --> 00:01:55,660 - Hi, Cheryl. - Is she here? 54 00:01:55,685 --> 00:01:57,902 I didn't see Empirical on the sign-in sheet. 55 00:01:57,927 --> 00:01:59,521 I'm here with Millennial Print. 56 00:01:59,545 --> 00:02:01,665 Kelsey Peters, thi... Cheryl Sussman. 57 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,490 - Oh. - It's nice to meet you. 58 00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:06,059 Millennial Print... 59 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,585 [scoffs] You really are shameless. 60 00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:09,982 Got to run. Take care. 61 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:13,253 You know, you may be able to fool a few morons at Empirical, 62 00:02:13,278 --> 00:02:16,424 but Dr. Wray psychoanalyzes 20-somethings for a living. 63 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:19,181 Hashtag "good luck." 64 00:02:21,273 --> 00:02:23,829 Your waiting room is full of out-of-touch 40-somethings 65 00:02:23,854 --> 00:02:26,401 who only understand your book conceptually. 66 00:02:26,427 --> 00:02:29,796 We are living our deciding decade right now. 67 00:02:29,821 --> 00:02:32,177 We totally relate to your book. 68 00:02:32,203 --> 00:02:33,350 And we can sell it. 69 00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:36,618 Your case studies were made for BuzzFeed listicles, 70 00:02:36,643 --> 00:02:38,643 and your podcast will blow up even bigger 71 00:02:38,668 --> 00:02:41,336 once we Periscope it during the rollout. 72 00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,772 How old are you two, may I ask? 73 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,514 I'm turning 27 tomorrow. 74 00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,514 Yep, right about the same. 75 00:02:49,539 --> 00:02:51,223 And you're running an imprint. 76 00:02:51,248 --> 00:02:53,291 I've worked really hard to get here. 77 00:02:53,316 --> 00:02:55,477 I interned every summer in college, 78 00:02:55,502 --> 00:02:56,802 and I started with Empirical 79 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,654 just three days after graduation. 80 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,374 Doesn't sound like much time for a personal life. 81 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,731 I've dated my boyfriend for two years. 82 00:03:03,756 --> 00:03:05,169 And the marriage track? 83 00:03:05,195 --> 00:03:06,717 Kids? 84 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:09,366 Um... 85 00:03:10,195 --> 00:03:12,537 we haven't discussed that 86 00:03:12,562 --> 00:03:15,510 in any, uh, real, official terms... 87 00:03:15,535 --> 00:03:16,495 yet. 88 00:03:16,521 --> 00:03:17,591 All right. 89 00:03:17,616 --> 00:03:20,339 Just make sure you know what you want 90 00:03:20,364 --> 00:03:22,151 and then make sure he can give it to you. 91 00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:24,334 Beware the no-criteria relationship. 92 00:03:24,359 --> 00:03:27,643 It may seem fun at 26, but you string enough of those together, 93 00:03:27,668 --> 00:03:31,246 and then suddenly you're 39, and you're asking your niece 94 00:03:31,271 --> 00:03:34,522 to set up a Hinge profile for you. 95 00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:37,281 Okay, was that a pitch meeting or a therapy session? 96 00:03:37,306 --> 00:03:39,644 Why have we not been freaking out about our futures more? 97 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:41,822 I am turning 27 tomorrow! 98 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,981 Hey, you did great in there. 99 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,081 And she's wrong about Thad. 100 00:03:45,106 --> 00:03:47,143 I've met his parents, his brother. 101 00:03:47,168 --> 00:03:50,002 I'm meeting his boss tonight at this charity thing. 102 00:03:50,027 --> 00:03:52,625 Are you worried about the book or your timeline? 103 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,701 'Cause there is no perfect plan to getting your life right. 104 00:03:55,726 --> 00:03:56,975 There's always compromises. 105 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,110 Compromises or excuses? 106 00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:00,696 We don't always know what's coming. 107 00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:03,299 Okay, there was this girl that I knew growing up. 108 00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:06,639 She had this perfect plan. She got married. 109 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,918 She landed this great job right out of college, 110 00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:10,610 and then she got pregnant, 111 00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:12,412 and motherhood turned out to be overwhelming... 112 00:04:12,437 --> 00:04:14,438 Okay, okay, this is the most boring, clichéd story 113 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,850 I've ever heard. 114 00:04:15,882 --> 00:04:18,671 Actually, it was very complex. 115 00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:20,657 [piano music] 116 00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:23,555 Okay, so, when you meet my boss, 117 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,797 you don't have to say much, okay? 118 00:04:24,822 --> 00:04:27,568 - He's not big on small talk. - [scoffs] I know how to behave. 119 00:04:27,593 --> 00:04:28,438 Okay. 120 00:04:28,463 --> 00:04:30,797 Whoo, there he is... Ethan Foster. 121 00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:34,490 He bought mortgage-backed securities in 2008... 122 00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:36,283 Huevos. 123 00:04:36,614 --> 00:04:39,530 Oh, God. He's coming. Just be cool. 124 00:04:39,555 --> 00:04:41,207 You're the one talking about his huevos. 125 00:04:41,232 --> 00:04:44,105 [clears throat] Ethan, hi. Uh, good to see you, sir. 126 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:46,445 - This is my girlfriend, Kelsey. - Hi. 127 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:49,178 Wow. As beautiful as advertised. 128 00:04:49,204 --> 00:04:50,221 Thank you. 129 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,247 Let me guess... 130 00:04:51,272 --> 00:04:53,631 - You work in fashion. - Publishing. 131 00:04:53,656 --> 00:04:56,067 I just launched a new imprint for 20-something readers. 132 00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:57,427 Oh, congratulations. 133 00:04:57,452 --> 00:05:00,340 And what are the millennials reading nowadays? 134 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:01,419 Are they reading? 135 00:05:01,444 --> 00:05:03,395 [Thad and Kelsey laugh] 136 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,199 I just heard an amazing pitch from a psychologist, actually, 137 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:08,890 whose book is basically a guide to your 20s. 138 00:05:08,915 --> 00:05:11,299 Well, you'll have to let me know the release date. 139 00:05:11,324 --> 00:05:13,823 I've got a 19-year-old I want to scare straight 140 00:05:13,848 --> 00:05:15,142 before he starts a nonprofit. 141 00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:17,558 [chuckles] I sent the sample chapter to Thad. 142 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,289 - You'll send it to him? - Uh, ye-yes, sir. 143 00:05:20,314 --> 00:05:21,980 Oh, terrific. 144 00:05:22,097 --> 00:05:25,517 - Well, nice to meet you, Kelsey. - Nice to meet you. 145 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,770 - Uh, please excuse me. - Of course. 146 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,294 - [chuckles] - [sighs] 147 00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:31,349 Babe, you killed that. 148 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:34,359 [chuckles] Yeah. 149 00:05:35,538 --> 00:05:38,145 [playful music] 150 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:42,119 ♪ ♪ 151 00:05:42,808 --> 00:05:47,123 Ooh, Olay antiaging moisturizer. 152 00:05:47,148 --> 00:05:48,814 I need all the help I can get. 153 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,873 I ran into Cheryl Sussman today. 154 00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:51,800 She-devil. 155 00:05:51,825 --> 00:05:54,683 Ugh. It was a long day in the 20-something minefield. 156 00:05:54,708 --> 00:05:56,191 Don't forget your neck. 157 00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:58,016 [cell phone chimes] 158 00:05:58,041 --> 00:06:00,072 - Who's that? - Oh. 159 00:06:00,097 --> 00:06:02,203 - Land mine. - _ 160 00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:05,501 Josh is being followed around for this article. 161 00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:08,610 - _ - Hey, what do creative directors do exactly? 162 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,483 Other people's coke, mostly. 163 00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:11,553 - _ - What article? 164 00:06:11,578 --> 00:06:13,994 This "Young Creatives" issue in "The Times." 165 00:06:14,019 --> 00:06:15,402 Seriously? That's huge. 166 00:06:15,427 --> 00:06:17,276 Right? I can't get near that. 167 00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:20,512 And Josh is okay with that? 168 00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:23,694 He's fine. We talked. 169 00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:24,946 Oh. 170 00:06:25,411 --> 00:06:28,260 [indistinct chatter] 171 00:06:28,285 --> 00:06:30,063 [piano music] 172 00:06:32,662 --> 00:06:35,065 - Excuse me. - Hey, whoa, whoa. 173 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,174 Hey, calm down. What are you doing? 174 00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:38,465 What are you doing? 175 00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:41,204 Look, I'm locking down your birthday gift, okay? 176 00:06:41,229 --> 00:06:43,095 That's Karra... Two Rs, 177 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,941 but she might be willing to add a third. 178 00:06:44,966 --> 00:06:45,737 Are you serious? 179 00:06:45,762 --> 00:06:47,395 - A three-way? - Yeah. 180 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:49,694 That moment where I dazzled your boss... that happened, right? 181 00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:51,019 I wasn't hallucinating? 182 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,600 Because I skipped lunch to fit into this dress. 183 00:06:52,624 --> 00:06:54,718 You look super hot, okay? 184 00:06:55,112 --> 00:06:57,229 That's all you care about, isn't it? 185 00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,588 I could be any girl in this room right now. 186 00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:00,945 You know what? Dr. Wray's right. 187 00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:02,652 This is a no-criteria relationship. 188 00:07:02,677 --> 00:07:03,939 A what? 189 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,527 The sample chapter that I sent you three days ago, 190 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,332 you know, of the book that I really need to land. 191 00:07:08,357 --> 00:07:10,594 You're mad because I didn't read some dumb chapter? 192 00:07:10,619 --> 00:07:12,387 No, I'm not mad. 193 00:07:13,313 --> 00:07:16,377 I'm just seeing everything a lot more clearly. 194 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:19,668 Jeez, are... are you, like, ragging it right now? 195 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:24,014 You know what? You need to grow up. 196 00:07:24,039 --> 00:07:28,838 And I can't waste any more time waiting for you to do that. 197 00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:31,078 ♪ ♪ 198 00:07:33,076 --> 00:07:35,634 [pats back] There you are. 199 00:07:35,659 --> 00:07:37,962 I wanted my wife to meet Kelsey. 200 00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:40,792 Yeah, I was... I was just looking for her. 201 00:07:40,817 --> 00:07:41,859 Well, find her... 202 00:07:41,884 --> 00:07:43,234 and don't let her get away. 203 00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:45,818 That girl is something special. 204 00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:47,567 ♪ ♪ 205 00:07:51,224 --> 00:07:53,825 ♪ Two days looking good on me ♪ 206 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:56,205 ♪ New groove kicking in these feet ♪ 207 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,501 Yes. 208 00:07:57,526 --> 00:08:00,385 Josh, over here. A little bit more. 209 00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,677 That's hot. 210 00:08:01,702 --> 00:08:03,084 One more. 211 00:08:03,109 --> 00:08:06,634 - Look right. - Good. 212 00:08:06,659 --> 00:08:07,860 Hey. 213 00:08:07,885 --> 00:08:10,159 ♪ I'm feeling good ♪ 214 00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:12,595 - How's it going? - It's good. 215 00:08:12,619 --> 00:08:14,118 It's good. 216 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:16,427 Actually, it's kind of weird. 217 00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,201 I think the more I talk to Greta, 218 00:08:18,226 --> 00:08:19,926 the more I realize 219 00:08:19,951 --> 00:08:22,862 how big a part of my story you actually are. 220 00:08:22,887 --> 00:08:23,942 Aw. 221 00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:26,056 Yeah, but I can't tell her that, 222 00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:28,571 so I'm just making stuff up. 223 00:08:28,603 --> 00:08:29,852 [laughs] 224 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,387 I think she actually thinks I'm with Gabe. 225 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,878 [chuckles] Wow. 226 00:08:33,903 --> 00:08:35,903 You're a worse liar than I thought. 227 00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:39,365 [both chuckle] 228 00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:42,441 Hey, will you be done by lunchtime? 229 00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:44,317 Midtown? My treat. 230 00:08:44,342 --> 00:08:45,956 I... 231 00:08:45,982 --> 00:08:47,487 - Hi. - Hey. 232 00:08:47,512 --> 00:08:49,036 I'm sorry to barge in, 233 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,334 but, um, we're running behind, and we're ready for you. 234 00:08:51,359 --> 00:08:54,379 I... Greta, this is my, uh... 235 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,839 really good friend Liza. 236 00:08:56,864 --> 00:08:58,648 Mm. 237 00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:06,670 I wish I could kiss you. 238 00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:07,880 Go. 239 00:09:07,905 --> 00:09:10,919 Be young and creative. 240 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,237 - [chuckles] - I'll see you at lunch. 241 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,079 Okay. 242 00:09:15,645 --> 00:09:18,550 [upbeat indie music] 243 00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:20,407 ♪ ♪ 244 00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:28,882 Hey. Happy birthday. 245 00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:31,441 Hey, listen, I just got off the phone with Jane's agent. 246 00:09:31,466 --> 00:09:33,466 It's between us and one other publisher. 247 00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:35,946 I already sent a follow-up email and a handwritten note, 248 00:09:35,971 --> 00:09:38,551 and I'm finding out who else is in the mix. 249 00:09:39,684 --> 00:09:41,623 I also broke up with Thad last night. 250 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,387 What? 251 00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:44,761 Oh, Kelsey, I'm so sorry. 252 00:09:44,786 --> 00:09:45,707 You wouldn't be sorry 253 00:09:45,732 --> 00:09:47,365 if I quit a job that was going nowhere. 254 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:48,932 Yeah, but you loved him. 255 00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:51,645 And you invested a lot in that relationship. 256 00:09:51,869 --> 00:09:54,557 And this is how he apologized. 257 00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:59,555 [scoffs] He wishes his abs still looked like that. 258 00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:01,803 [sighs] What can I do? 259 00:10:01,828 --> 00:10:03,647 You can reserve a booth 260 00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:05,706 at Stanton Social for my birthday tonight. 261 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,397 Just you, me, and Lauren. 262 00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:08,583 Invite Josh. 263 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,076 Super low-key, really wasted. 264 00:10:12,101 --> 00:10:14,040 You got it. 265 00:10:15,076 --> 00:10:17,460 - I'm here if you want to talk. - Go. 266 00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:19,326 This is the first day of my new timeline, 267 00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:22,167 and I'm not wasting it whining about the past. 268 00:10:30,441 --> 00:10:31,991 [exhales deeply] 269 00:10:32,016 --> 00:10:33,747 [cell phone chimes] 270 00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,739 - _ - Ay. 271 00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:38,861 Okay. 272 00:10:40,924 --> 00:10:43,761 Aah! Hi. Sorry. 273 00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:46,810 I, um... I left Phillipa Gregory's new outline on your desk. 274 00:10:46,835 --> 00:10:49,252 She's really into royal incest. Enjoy. 275 00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:52,061 And where are you going in such a clumsy hurry? 276 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,442 I have a lunch, if that's okay. 277 00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:54,467 That's cute. 278 00:10:54,492 --> 00:10:57,054 Assistants don't have lunch, Liza. 279 00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:58,252 They fetch lunch. 280 00:10:58,277 --> 00:11:01,372 But then again, according to Cheryl Sussman, 281 00:11:01,397 --> 00:11:03,085 you aren't an assistant anymore. 282 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,419 - What? - Hmm. 283 00:11:04,444 --> 00:11:06,525 She told me she saw you at the Jane Wray pitch, 284 00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,535 and you said "Millennial" was the perfect title 285 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,228 for your imprint. 286 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,530 She said you were quite full of yourself. 287 00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:14,564 I wasn't. 288 00:11:14,589 --> 00:11:17,799 You are still my assistant, Liza. 289 00:11:17,824 --> 00:11:20,697 And how you behave towards my colleagues reflects on me. 290 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,355 I understand. 291 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:24,467 [tense music] 292 00:11:25,775 --> 00:11:27,341 ♪ ♪ 293 00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:29,742 Be back in 40 with a Cobb salad, 294 00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:31,035 and if the dressing isn't on the side... 295 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,276 It will be. 296 00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:34,306 Thank you. 297 00:11:34,525 --> 00:11:36,706 [upbeat music] 298 00:11:36,731 --> 00:11:38,712 - _ - [cell phone clicking] 299 00:11:38,737 --> 00:11:40,466 ♪ ♪ 300 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:44,048 - _ - [cell phone chimes, elevator bell dings] 301 00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,989 Ugh. 302 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,240 [sighs] 303 00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:54,368 - _ - [cell phone clicking] 304 00:11:54,393 --> 00:11:57,157 ♪ ♪ 305 00:11:57,661 --> 00:12:00,275 I thought we agreed against the suicide pact, Cheryl. 306 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,708 Yeah, that was before your youthfulness 307 00:12:02,733 --> 00:12:04,853 threatened my bottom line. 308 00:12:04,878 --> 00:12:07,066 The only reason Millennial is in the running 309 00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:09,876 is because Dr. Wray thinks you're 26, and that is not fair. 310 00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:12,235 - It's just one book. - Then pull your offer. 311 00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:15,811 Or I'll tell Dr. Wray that her shiny millennial poster child 312 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,232 is a pathological liar. 313 00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:19,341 A liar you tried to extort. 314 00:12:19,366 --> 00:12:21,169 I still have those emails. 315 00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,106 Careful, Liza. 316 00:12:23,131 --> 00:12:26,099 Right now I'm only proposing a contained skirmish. 317 00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:29,533 But if you push me, I'll go North Korea on your ass. 318 00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:32,559 - Stop threatening me, Cheryl. - Oh, I'm done with threats. 319 00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:34,401 [tense rock music] 320 00:12:34,644 --> 00:12:36,760 [inhales deeply] 321 00:12:36,785 --> 00:12:39,726 Hi, there. Cheryl Sussman for Dr. Wray. 322 00:12:39,753 --> 00:12:41,096 It's urgent. 323 00:12:41,121 --> 00:12:44,083 Okay, fine. You win. 324 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,760 The truth is gonna catch up with you every now and then. 325 00:12:48,785 --> 00:12:50,896 Just get used to it. 326 00:12:53,525 --> 00:12:55,615 [pensive music] 327 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,008 [scoffs] 328 00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:59,193 ♪ ♪ 329 00:13:04,436 --> 00:13:06,747 [tense rock music] 330 00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:09,381 ♪ ♪ 331 00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:13,442 Dr. Wray, this is Liza Miller from Millennial. 332 00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:16,534 Will you please call me back at your earliest convenience? 333 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,512 It's important. 334 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:23,292 Thank you so much for seeing me on such short notice. 335 00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:25,937 If this is about the book, I haven't made my decision yet. 336 00:13:25,962 --> 00:13:28,746 I'm not here as an editor. I'm here as a patient. 337 00:13:28,771 --> 00:13:32,051 We have doctor-patient privilege in this room, right? 338 00:13:32,076 --> 00:13:34,793 Well, I can't testify against you in court 339 00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:37,029 if you killed somebody, but... 340 00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:39,358 Oh, come on. 341 00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:42,785 Nobody at work knows this, but... 342 00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:44,867 I'm not 26. 343 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,066 I'm 40. 344 00:13:47,091 --> 00:13:49,079 [playful music] 345 00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:50,422 Okay. 346 00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:52,083 ♪ ♪ 347 00:13:52,756 --> 00:13:55,097 Now I'm interested. 348 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,585 So now I'm at Empirical, 349 00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:59,358 and I have to make myself invaluable 350 00:13:59,383 --> 00:14:00,570 before anyone figures it out 351 00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:02,119 and I become a think piece on Slate. 352 00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:06,103 Liza, why did you tell me all of this? 353 00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:08,178 A woman at a rival publisher knows. 354 00:14:08,349 --> 00:14:11,515 She's blackmailing me again. She threatened to tell you... 355 00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,573 So you wanted to beat her to the punch. 356 00:14:13,598 --> 00:14:16,736 But also, this situation that I'm in... 357 00:14:16,761 --> 00:14:18,434 Lie. 358 00:14:18,511 --> 00:14:21,343 This lie is an asset. 359 00:14:21,499 --> 00:14:24,500 I have lived this book twice. 360 00:14:24,525 --> 00:14:26,580 The first time I got a great job, a husband, 361 00:14:26,605 --> 00:14:28,607 and a kid during my peak fertility years, 362 00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,353 and it blew up in my face. 363 00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:33,870 But now I get another shot at my 20s. 364 00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:34,954 Nobody understands 365 00:14:34,979 --> 00:14:37,649 the importance of this book more than I do. 366 00:14:38,897 --> 00:14:41,010 I will tell you what... 367 00:14:41,202 --> 00:14:43,308 I'm gonna sign with Millennial. 368 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,599 Really? Dr. Wray... 369 00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:46,513 On one condition... 370 00:14:46,538 --> 00:14:49,405 I use you as a case study. 371 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,359 I know how to keep a secret. 372 00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:54,193 Nobody knows who that sample chapter is about, 373 00:14:54,218 --> 00:14:58,016 and she is one of the world's highest-paid musicians. 374 00:14:58,041 --> 00:15:00,605 The girl who kept getting into no-criteria relationships, 375 00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:02,368 who channeled her heartbreak into her work. 376 00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,099 - Oh, my gosh. Is it Tayl... - Sorry. 377 00:15:04,124 --> 00:15:05,954 Doctor-patient privilege. 378 00:15:05,979 --> 00:15:08,398 You know, I actually admire you. 379 00:15:08,423 --> 00:15:12,245 [chuckles] It's a completely ludicrous idea, 380 00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,266 and you are pulling it off. 381 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:15,623 Thank you? 382 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,423 [upbeat music] 383 00:15:18,797 --> 00:15:20,297 ♪ ♪ 384 00:15:20,426 --> 00:15:21,873 - We got the book. - [gasps] 385 00:15:21,898 --> 00:15:23,983 Oh, my God! We got the book? 386 00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:25,547 Go to Gawker. 387 00:15:25,572 --> 00:15:26,613 Oh. 388 00:15:26,637 --> 00:15:28,319 "Millennial Publishing 389 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,679 "publishing millennial guide book. 390 00:15:29,704 --> 00:15:31,616 Baby imprint scores huge get." 391 00:15:31,641 --> 00:15:34,245 We are gonna get hammered tonight. 392 00:15:34,270 --> 00:15:36,066 [both chuckle] 393 00:15:36,091 --> 00:15:37,823 [telephone rings] 394 00:15:37,848 --> 00:15:39,520 This is Dr. Wray. 395 00:15:39,544 --> 00:15:42,226 Jane, it's Cheryl Sussman. 396 00:15:42,251 --> 00:15:45,309 [clicks tongue] I saw the announcement. 397 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,977 There's something you need to know 398 00:15:47,002 --> 00:15:48,791 about your hip, young publisher. 399 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,140 Liza Miller, who's trying to pass herself off 400 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,667 as a millennial... She's 40. 401 00:15:53,692 --> 00:15:56,336 I wish I could say that I'm surprised to get this call, 402 00:15:56,361 --> 00:15:59,099 but it seems that you are very well versed at this. 403 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,992 - At what? - Blackmail. 404 00:16:02,017 --> 00:16:05,122 Is that something you really want on your timeline 405 00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:06,891 this late in the game, Cheryl? 406 00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,024 You know, I just did an hour 407 00:16:09,048 --> 00:16:11,882 on corporate ageism on my podcast last month, 408 00:16:11,907 --> 00:16:15,353 and I would really hate to have to repeat myself. 409 00:16:15,378 --> 00:16:16,724 She told you. 410 00:16:16,749 --> 00:16:19,218 I can't really discuss another patient, 411 00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:22,373 but if you'd ever like to talk about your anger issues... 412 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,121 [upbeat music] 413 00:16:26,317 --> 00:16:28,730 ♪ ♪ 414 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:32,314 Hey! Happy birthday! 415 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,421 Have you seen this? 416 00:16:34,595 --> 00:16:38,677 ♪ I keep drinking my cheap champagne ♪ 417 00:16:38,702 --> 00:16:41,119 How do you have this already? 418 00:16:41,144 --> 00:16:43,042 Oh, so you knew about it? 419 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,827 Well, how did you know about it? 420 00:16:44,851 --> 00:16:46,963 I hate-follow Greta Lin on Instagram. 421 00:16:46,988 --> 00:16:48,253 Ugh. She is so perfect. 422 00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:51,467 Liza, look, he doesn't mention you once. 423 00:16:51,492 --> 00:16:52,413 His dumpy roommate 424 00:16:52,438 --> 00:16:53,740 gets more play in that article than you do. 425 00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:56,141 Yeah, it's basically a glossy Tinder profile. 426 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,147 Uh-huh. Give me. 427 00:16:58,172 --> 00:16:59,818 "While strolling Bedford Avenue, 428 00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:01,294 "a few girls noticeably tousle their hair. 429 00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:03,056 "One waves longingly from across the street, 430 00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:04,683 "but he maintains that for now, 431 00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:07,838 his heart only belongs to Inkburg." 432 00:17:07,864 --> 00:17:09,420 [sighs] Well... 433 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,818 I mean, he didn't write it. 434 00:17:11,843 --> 00:17:14,391 Liza, are you listening to this? 435 00:17:14,417 --> 00:17:16,202 According to "The New York Times," 436 00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:17,510 - you don't exist. - Seriously! 437 00:17:17,535 --> 00:17:19,021 Liza, what an ass... 438 00:17:19,046 --> 00:17:21,503 - Hey. - Hey. 439 00:17:21,528 --> 00:17:24,665 Josh, we were just reading an advance of the article. 440 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,616 - It's fantastic. - Yeah, yeah. 441 00:17:26,641 --> 00:17:27,967 You come off great in it. 442 00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:30,113 Yeah, I guess it just slipped your mind 443 00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:31,204 that you have a girlfriend. 444 00:17:31,229 --> 00:17:33,201 No, no, it's fine that I'm not in it. 445 00:17:33,225 --> 00:17:35,383 No, it's not fine that you're not in it. 446 00:17:35,409 --> 00:17:36,954 You know what? [scoffs] 447 00:17:36,979 --> 00:17:39,312 I'm sorry to be so real here, Josh, 448 00:17:39,337 --> 00:17:40,513 but it's my birthday, 449 00:17:40,539 --> 00:17:43,899 and we're all getting a little too old to play pretend. 450 00:17:43,923 --> 00:17:46,017 Do you care about her at all? 451 00:17:46,043 --> 00:17:47,692 Does she mean anything to you? 452 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:50,084 I mean, do you have one shred of a soul, 453 00:17:50,109 --> 00:17:52,422 or did you think you'd bank a few more tramp stamps 454 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,829 if you seemed a little more available? 455 00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,702 - Kelsey, stop. - You didn't deserve that. 456 00:17:55,727 --> 00:17:57,869 And you don't deserve her. 457 00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,745 Have a nice birthday. 458 00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:02,608 I have missed you, single Kelsey. 459 00:18:02,632 --> 00:18:05,829 [door closes, opens] 460 00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:07,846 Josh. 461 00:18:07,871 --> 00:18:09,688 Josh, wait! 462 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,252 - Josh! - What the hell was that? 463 00:18:12,538 --> 00:18:15,126 I didn't know it was out tonight. 464 00:18:15,151 --> 00:18:17,350 And that's my fault? 465 00:18:17,753 --> 00:18:21,034 This was supposed to be great for me. 466 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,738 This sucks, Liza. 467 00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:26,708 I'm sorry. They sprung that on me. 468 00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:28,393 I hadn't even told them about it. 469 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:30,763 And you don't think that's weird? 470 00:18:30,789 --> 00:18:33,354 We're weird. 471 00:18:33,722 --> 00:18:36,356 You... you like that, remember? 472 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:39,279 This just keeps happening. 473 00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:44,058 I can't be in your life. You can't be in my life. 474 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:45,503 Not yet. 475 00:18:45,528 --> 00:18:47,144 When? 476 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,538 Huh? 477 00:18:50,959 --> 00:18:53,209 I can't do this anymore. 478 00:18:53,234 --> 00:18:55,157 Josh. 479 00:18:55,181 --> 00:18:56,371 I'm done. 480 00:18:56,396 --> 00:19:00,866 ♪ I keep coming back ♪ 481 00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:04,499 ♪ Back to you ♪ 482 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,510 [indistinct chatter] 483 00:19:08,535 --> 00:19:10,001 [glasses clink] 484 00:19:10,026 --> 00:19:11,424 - Babe, babe. - Uh-uh, uh-uh. 485 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:13,719 No, no, not tonight. I know I'm not invited. 486 00:19:13,744 --> 00:19:16,083 I'll go as soon as I say this. 487 00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:20,548 [sighs] You were right. 488 00:19:20,573 --> 00:19:23,991 You deserve more. 489 00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:27,520 You deserve everything that you want. 490 00:19:28,517 --> 00:19:32,236 And I know that I can give it to you. 491 00:19:33,997 --> 00:19:35,949 [screeches] 492 00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:37,557 [gasps] 493 00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:40,785 You hit all the criteria that I'm looking for 494 00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:44,925 and a couple that I never even thought of. 495 00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:48,491 You read the chapter. 496 00:19:51,098 --> 00:19:53,264 Will you marry me? 497 00:19:57,180 --> 00:20:00,184 [uplifting rock music] 498 00:20:00,209 --> 00:20:02,868 [cheers and applause] 499 00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:04,643 ♪ ♪ 500 00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:07,971 [laughing] 501 00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:11,788 Liza, are you crying? 502 00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,286 ♪ ♪ 503 00:20:13,311 --> 00:20:15,561 I'm just so happy for you. 504 00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:17,213 [squeals, laughs] 505 00:20:17,238 --> 00:20:22,457 ♪ Set my soul on fire ♪ 506 00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:25,878 ♪ ♪