1 00:00:00,127 --> 00:00:01,999 _ 2 00:00:02,024 --> 00:00:03,223 I've got a proposition. 3 00:00:03,225 --> 00:00:05,416 Meet me at the Carlyle tonight at 9:00. 4 00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:08,152 You're gonna kiss him again. I know you. 5 00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:09,759 I'm so sorry about last night. 6 00:00:09,784 --> 00:00:10,856 I just want you to know... 7 00:00:10,881 --> 00:00:13,621 It was just a kiss, Liza. Let it go. 8 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,466 Nobody at work knows this, but I'm 40. 9 00:00:16,491 --> 00:00:19,654 I'm gonna sign with Millennial on one condition: 10 00:00:19,679 --> 00:00:22,911 I use you as a case study. 11 00:00:43,851 --> 00:00:46,679 Yeah, that's the... exactly. That's the same issue. 12 00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,420 Yes. 13 00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,156 Morning. 14 00:00:50,658 --> 00:00:52,390 Well, it's all open for discussion. 15 00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:55,115 Okay, that's his people calling me now. 16 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,179 I'll try you back from the office. 17 00:00:56,204 --> 00:00:58,396 I'll be there in five. 18 00:00:58,421 --> 00:01:01,478 Hello? Hi, yes. Charles. 19 00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:07,875 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 20 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,319 You are being blogged and podcasted 21 00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:11,432 everywhere that matters. 22 00:01:11,457 --> 00:01:12,896 Oh, and we've got you listicled 23 00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:15,319 on Buzzfeed and Refinery29. 24 00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:17,298 By Wednesday, there won't be a millennial 25 00:01:17,323 --> 00:01:19,526 who hasn't heard, read, or socially transmitted 26 00:01:19,551 --> 00:01:20,600 "The Deciding Decade." 27 00:01:20,624 --> 00:01:22,897 And we were saving the best news for last. 28 00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:25,122 Ellen's producer said Ellen read 29 00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:27,114 the advanced copy and loved it. 30 00:01:27,139 --> 00:01:28,805 - Love her. - Fantastic. 31 00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:30,496 There's one little hitch. 32 00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:32,291 She really responded to the chapter 33 00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:34,361 where your 40-year-old patient pretends to be 34 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,072 a 26-year-old assistant. 35 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,864 So, she'll have you on the show 36 00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:40,061 if you bring that patient with you. 37 00:01:40,086 --> 00:01:43,040 And reveal her identity on national television? 38 00:01:43,066 --> 00:01:45,249 That's impossible... that would be totally unethical. 39 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,545 Not if the patient agrees. 40 00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:49,304 It would be such incredible publicity. 41 00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:53,766 That... maybe I could reach out and ask. 42 00:01:53,791 --> 00:01:55,513 Why would the patient consent? 43 00:01:55,538 --> 00:01:58,305 I mean, wasn't she promised anonymity? 44 00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:00,676 Well, she's clearly an opportunist. 45 00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:02,870 - More like a sociopath. - Yeah. 46 00:02:02,895 --> 00:02:04,927 Shaving one or two years off your age is one thing, 47 00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:06,066 but living a double life? 48 00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:08,432 That is a very disturbed individual. 49 00:02:08,457 --> 00:02:10,601 Well..., in the chapter, she said 50 00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:14,038 that she applied for a lot of jobs as a 40-year-old, 51 00:02:14,063 --> 00:02:16,744 and got turned down every time, so she had to find 52 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,768 a way around this institutionalized ageism. 53 00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,550 I don't see ageism, I see someone 54 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,199 who stepped out of the industry and paid the price. 55 00:02:24,254 --> 00:02:26,216 She probably wasn't hired because she doesn't have 56 00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:27,436 the skills or talent. 57 00:02:27,462 --> 00:02:30,123 Well, I can certainly reach out to her. 58 00:02:30,148 --> 00:02:31,577 I think it's risky. 59 00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:34,593 Staking the campaign of Millennial's first book 60 00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:35,970 on a con artist? 61 00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:37,319 I bet you make the deal with Ellen, 62 00:02:37,344 --> 00:02:38,494 and that lunatic sues us. 63 00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,519 Oh, my God. We can't chance that. 64 00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,326 We'll keep working and get in touch soon. 65 00:02:42,351 --> 00:02:43,635 All right. Thank you, Charles. 66 00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,611 Our pleasure. 67 00:02:46,452 --> 00:02:48,927 Get on the ball. Pre-orders are dismal. 68 00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:50,232 Excuse me? 69 00:02:50,622 --> 00:02:53,559 I'm still here. 70 00:02:56,662 --> 00:02:57,666 Moving on. 71 00:02:57,691 --> 00:02:59,833 Where are we on "P is for Pigeon"? 72 00:02:59,858 --> 00:03:01,597 It's gone to copy editing. 73 00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:03,613 The early buzz on GoodReads has been great. 74 00:03:03,638 --> 00:03:04,760 And I sent an advanced copy 75 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,245 to Anthony Lane at "The New Yorker." 76 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,571 What on God's green earth is so important? 77 00:03:08,596 --> 00:03:10,860 Have I been unclear about devices in the conference room? 78 00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:13,042 I always keep it face down, except... 79 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,055 Face down or put away, that's the policy. 80 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,581 We're done. Thank you. 81 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,339 I haven't seen him in a mood like this 82 00:03:20,364 --> 00:03:21,740 since his wife left. 83 00:03:21,765 --> 00:03:23,955 Something is really under his skin. 84 00:03:34,598 --> 00:03:36,832 - Hi. - Hi. 85 00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:39,454 Um, I'm making a Juice Press run. 86 00:03:39,479 --> 00:03:40,576 Can I get you anything? 87 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:41,909 Uh, no, thanks. I'm good. 88 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:44,510 Uh, look, I know I might be 89 00:03:44,535 --> 00:03:46,930 misreading the situation, but are you okay? 90 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,612 - With me? - What? 91 00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,480 I just want you to know 92 00:03:51,505 --> 00:03:53,554 that I think you're amazing, 93 00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,995 and I... I just... I feel so lucky 94 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:57,625 and so grateful to be working here, 95 00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,250 and I just... 96 00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:03,841 Not even a cucumber coconut water? 97 00:04:03,866 --> 00:04:05,478 No, I'm fine. Really, I am. 98 00:04:05,651 --> 00:04:08,116 Uh, company, that's another story. 99 00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:09,933 - Oh? - There might have to be 100 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,528 some changes around here. 101 00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:13,291 What kind of changes? 102 00:04:13,683 --> 00:04:16,544 I'm sorry. I'm late for a meeting. 103 00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:18,406 Don't worry about it. 104 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:25,770 _ 105 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,002 God, I hope I don't lose my job. 106 00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:36,626 You wouldn't have to lie anymore. 107 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,066 Yeah, and Caitlin wouldn't have to go to college anymore. 108 00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:41,063 I mean, I can help with tuition. 109 00:04:41,088 --> 00:04:43,370 My business is doing really great these days, so... 110 00:04:43,395 --> 00:04:44,719 I would never let you do that. 111 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:47,905 But I can't tell you how much that means to me. 112 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:50,948 Yeah, well, I'm kind of crazy about the mom. 113 00:05:00,977 --> 00:05:03,000 Ah, I've missed that. 114 00:05:03,025 --> 00:05:05,393 Mm, me too. 115 00:05:06,282 --> 00:05:09,046 So want to go back to my place? 116 00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:11,657 I changed the sheets today. 117 00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:14,521 Josh, are you familiar with the marshmallow experiment? 118 00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:16,601 Yeah, where you try to see 119 00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,409 how many you can fit in your mouth at once? 120 00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:21,411 No, it's, um... It's this parenting thing. 121 00:05:21,437 --> 00:05:23,239 Children were given one marshmallow 122 00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:25,236 and told that they could eat it immediately, 123 00:05:25,261 --> 00:05:27,886 or they could wait 15 minutes, 124 00:05:28,081 --> 00:05:30,730 - and get two marshmallows. - What? 125 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:32,755 Why would anybody do that to a kid? 126 00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,736 - I mean, it's... that's torture. - I know. 127 00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:38,354 But anyway, they followed the kids for like 20 years, 128 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,053 and they found out that the ones that could 129 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:43,517 delay gratification had better life outcomes. 130 00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:46,183 Higher self-reported happiness. 131 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,182 Okay, um... 132 00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,816 so who's the marshmallow in this scenario? 133 00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:52,498 Am I the marshmallow? 134 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:54,690 Actually, I'm the marshmallow. 135 00:05:54,715 --> 00:05:56,182 Oh. 136 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:59,160 So you want to take it slow, huh? 137 00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:03,008 I need more time. 138 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,064 I get it. 139 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,800 Thank you. 140 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,868 Yeah. 141 00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:13,843 I am still gonna walk you home, though, so... 142 00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:16,626 'Cause I'm a gentleman. 143 00:06:23,269 --> 00:06:25,634 - Oh, Kelsey. Hey. - Hi, Chad. 144 00:06:25,659 --> 00:06:27,561 - Ah! - Hi. 145 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:30,812 Okay. Oh. Ah. 146 00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,936 So, uh, what's so important? 147 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:39,539 Wow, you speak Chinese? 148 00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:41,722 Um, just a couple dialects of Mandarin. 149 00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:43,606 Wow. I'm impressed. 150 00:06:43,632 --> 00:06:45,867 I volunteered on a clean water project 151 00:06:45,892 --> 00:06:47,573 in Gansu and kind of picked it up. 152 00:06:47,598 --> 00:06:50,356 But languages are my jam. 153 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,662 What about the password to Thad's computer? 154 00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:54,935 I've got to change his profile pic. 155 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,956 Oh, yeah. That. Sorry. 156 00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,532 These passwords are really hard to crack. 157 00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,534 But if it's any consolation, 158 00:07:01,559 --> 00:07:04,331 wow, your tongue looks really healthy in that photo. 159 00:07:05,255 --> 00:07:07,485 Sorry. 160 00:07:07,574 --> 00:07:11,146 Here, maybe you'll have better luck. 161 00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,237 Thanks. 162 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,953 Kelsey, I... I don't know how to say this, 163 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,857 so I'm just gonna come out and say it. 164 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:22,206 Whoa. Oh, my God. What are you doing? 165 00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:23,172 I know. 166 00:07:23,198 --> 00:07:25,328 It's a little soon, but... 167 00:07:27,832 --> 00:07:30,223 My parents would like the engagement ring back. 168 00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:32,421 It's a family heirloom. 169 00:07:32,445 --> 00:07:34,810 - Are you serious? - Of course. 170 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:36,255 I... I could show you photos 171 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,958 of my great-grandmother wearing that ring. 172 00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,953 No. No, it's.... 173 00:07:39,979 --> 00:07:41,470 It's fine. 174 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,359 Sorry to be the one just... 175 00:07:43,384 --> 00:07:45,315 bringing you all this bad news. 176 00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,178 You know, let me make it up to you. 177 00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:49,033 Let's get out of the city this weekend. 178 00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:50,211 Fishers Island. 179 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,967 I already have ferry reservations, 180 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:56,027 and we could just talk everything out, 181 00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:57,954 and finally just... 182 00:07:58,415 --> 00:07:59,551 be. 183 00:07:59,576 --> 00:08:00,799 Chad? 184 00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:03,916 We are never going to "Be" anything. 185 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,342 Ever. 186 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,815 Do you understand that? 187 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,471 What, so... So you're just gonna act like 188 00:08:09,496 --> 00:08:11,857 the... the barn at Gary's wedding never happened? 189 00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,262 How do you know about me and Thad in that barn? 190 00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,477 Thad? 191 00:08:15,898 --> 00:08:18,386 Come on, you know that was me. 192 00:08:18,411 --> 00:08:19,376 What? 193 00:08:19,401 --> 00:08:20,656 You said you loved me. 194 00:08:20,681 --> 00:08:22,382 Because I thought that you were Thad. 195 00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:23,706 That was the game we were playing. 196 00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:26,726 - But you knew. Come on. - I did not know! 197 00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:29,134 Look me in the eye and say you don't think of me 198 00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:31,038 every time you sit on a big, fat bale of hay. 199 00:08:32,353 --> 00:08:35,313 You know what? Take your stupid ring back. 200 00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:38,529 Don't call me, don't text me, 201 00:08:38,554 --> 00:08:41,555 and stop tagging me in funny memes. 202 00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,652 They're not funny! 203 00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,595 _ 204 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,050 Ah. 205 00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,872 Okay, you're not going to believe this. 206 00:08:56,897 --> 00:08:57,937 - Oh, hey, Lauren. - Uch. 207 00:08:57,962 --> 00:09:00,131 Kelsey just texted me that she slept with Chad. 208 00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,407 - What? - Wait, wait. 209 00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:02,898 - That's the twin, right? - Yes, and apparently, 210 00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:04,068 he banged her all over 211 00:09:04,093 --> 00:09:05,427 some barn in Great Barrington. 212 00:09:05,452 --> 00:09:07,601 - What, last night? - No, dude. Years ago. 213 00:09:07,626 --> 00:09:09,259 He pretended to be Thad. 214 00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:11,230 - Oh, my God. - I know, dude. 215 00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:13,010 He Houdini-ed her. 216 00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:14,318 No, that's not Houdini-ing. 217 00:09:14,343 --> 00:09:16,254 Houdini-ing is when someone has sex with you from behind, 218 00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:18,946 then someone else steps in, and then the original person 219 00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:20,417 waves to you from the bedroom window. 220 00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:22,167 Oh, my God. You know everything. You do. 221 00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:23,684 You're like Sexipedia. 222 00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:26,255 - Is Kelsey all right? - Oh, yeah, no. She'll be fine. 223 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,712 And now that she has Thad's laptop, 224 00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:29,464 she never has to see Chad again. 225 00:09:29,489 --> 00:09:31,022 - She has Thad's laptop? - Oh, yeah, no. 226 00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:31,978 I'ma help her get into it. 227 00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:33,217 You know, it's the least I can do 228 00:09:33,242 --> 00:09:34,297 since she's been twinned. 229 00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:36,421 No, "Twinned" is two girls and the same dildo. 230 00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:38,477 What? Really? Twinned? 231 00:09:38,502 --> 00:09:40,975 Oh, my God. Why do I doubt? 232 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,600 Why have we not done that? 233 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,122 You know, I got to go to work. I will see you kids later. 234 00:09:45,147 --> 00:09:46,471 Mwah. 235 00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:50,272 Did you hear that? 236 00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:52,383 It's only a matter of time before Kelsey 237 00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:53,917 gets into that laptop and finds out everything. 238 00:09:53,942 --> 00:09:55,275 Wait, what are you gonna do? 239 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,499 I got to tell her. 240 00:09:56,524 --> 00:09:58,613 And it's better that she hears it from me first. 241 00:09:58,638 --> 00:10:00,358 I'm just gonna do it... I'm gonna go in there 242 00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:01,486 and rip off the Band-Aid. 243 00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:03,250 "Ripping off the Band-Aid" is when two guys... 244 00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:04,813 I don't want to know. 245 00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:06,930 Good luck. 246 00:10:07,662 --> 00:10:09,261 Ooh. 247 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,849 - Hey. - Hey. 248 00:10:19,874 --> 00:10:23,486 Lauren told me about the Chad situation. 249 00:10:23,511 --> 00:10:24,445 Are you okay? 250 00:10:24,471 --> 00:10:27,081 The whole thing is just so gross. 251 00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:29,094 I wonder if Thad knew. 252 00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:31,177 - He couldn't have, right? - Uh... 253 00:10:31,202 --> 00:10:33,204 I mean, I always brown out at weddings, but... 254 00:10:33,229 --> 00:10:35,466 You mean drink too much, right? 255 00:10:35,491 --> 00:10:36,961 Yeah... wait, what do you think I... 256 00:10:36,986 --> 00:10:38,422 No, nothing. Just that. 257 00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,068 - Okay. - What are you doing? 258 00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:41,795 I'm trying to guess this password. 259 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,421 It gave me a hint: "Kelsey's favorite snack." 260 00:10:44,446 --> 00:10:46,980 I tried banana chips, chocolate covered almonds. 261 00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,814 And no luck. I'm gonna just... 262 00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:50,988 I've got to hire a computer expert or something. 263 00:10:51,013 --> 00:10:52,161 Are you sure? 264 00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:55,485 I mean, there could be a lot of iffy stuff on there. 265 00:10:55,509 --> 00:10:57,382 This is all I have left of him. 266 00:10:57,468 --> 00:11:00,872 For better or for worse, it's all right here. 267 00:11:00,897 --> 00:11:04,079 Hi, uh, there is a potential investor 268 00:11:04,104 --> 00:11:05,571 stopping by the office in about ten minutes. 269 00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:08,311 Could you two be prepared to talk about Millennial? 270 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,692 Something short, like a... 271 00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:11,011 An elevator pitch? 272 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,333 - Yeah, sure. - Absolutely, yeah. 273 00:11:12,358 --> 00:11:13,324 It's important. 274 00:11:13,349 --> 00:11:15,514 Uh, but casual. 275 00:11:16,536 --> 00:11:18,267 But important. 276 00:11:20,725 --> 00:11:22,210 Liza! 277 00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:27,052 We must really be on the ropes if Charles is 278 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,513 springing a visit like this on us. 279 00:11:28,538 --> 00:11:30,275 Had I known, I would have worn something less whimsical. 280 00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:32,735 Okay, this is from the "Forbes" billionaires list. 281 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,322 Bryce Reiger, 26. 282 00:11:34,347 --> 00:11:37,416 Founded Tap That, a digital wallet app in 2014. 283 00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:39,267 I'll make sure to download it on your phone. 284 00:11:39,292 --> 00:11:41,723 Hmm, looks like another Silicon Valley whiz kid 285 00:11:41,748 --> 00:11:43,110 throwing his money around. 286 00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:45,368 While his friends buy islands, he buys prestige 287 00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:47,493 by saving a century-old publishing house. 288 00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:49,319 Oh, look. He owns an island too. 289 00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,049 If old media is so dead, 290 00:11:51,074 --> 00:11:52,908 why is new media always trying to buy us? 291 00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,788 Oh, that must be him. 292 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,746 Where? 293 00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:56,832 Oh, my... 294 00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,998 So, are the any new "Crown of Kings" coming out? 295 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,482 I love "Crown of Kings." 296 00:12:01,507 --> 00:12:03,251 Besides "Twilight", it's the top-selling 297 00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:04,976 four-installment book series of all time, 298 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,861 with 106 million units. 299 00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:09,753 Uh, 25.4 million for "Rise of Kings," 300 00:12:09,778 --> 00:12:11,909 28.1 for "Clash of Kings," 301 00:12:11,934 --> 00:12:14,969 17.8 for "Ghosts of Kings"... That was the worst one... 302 00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:18,303 And 34.7 million for "King of Kings." 303 00:12:18,327 --> 00:12:20,190 You certainly know your "Crown of Kings." 304 00:12:20,579 --> 00:12:23,520 This is our head of marketing, Diana Trout. 305 00:12:23,545 --> 00:12:24,878 It's easy for me to memorize stuff. 306 00:12:24,903 --> 00:12:26,247 I'm a little on the spectrum. 307 00:12:26,272 --> 00:12:29,708 That's why your perfume is so offensive to me. 308 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:33,492 Not offensive, just, uh, pungent and repulsive. 309 00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,288 I beg your pardon? 310 00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:39,292 Definitely smelling secretion of beaver anus. 311 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,487 - What? - Otherwise known as castoreum. 312 00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,959 It's a common ingredient in many commercial perfumes. 313 00:12:43,984 --> 00:12:46,581 This is Givenchy. So... 314 00:12:46,606 --> 00:12:48,908 Said the beaver to his anus. 315 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:52,593 Why don't we continue this conversation at dinner? 316 00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:55,392 I will go shower. 317 00:12:59,347 --> 00:13:02,048 Since our imprint curates exclusive content 318 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,546 for millennial readers, we're excited to launch 319 00:13:04,571 --> 00:13:05,637 our first title: 320 00:13:05,662 --> 00:13:07,126 "The Deciding Decade: 321 00:13:07,151 --> 00:13:08,551 Making Your Twenties Matter." 322 00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:10,892 The eBook will hyperlink to the author's 323 00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:13,554 genre-leading podcast and all social platforms. 324 00:13:13,579 --> 00:13:16,279 And for print, we're using biodegradable ink 325 00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,813 on 100% recycled, fair-trade paper. 326 00:13:18,837 --> 00:13:20,436 Yes. I like all that. 327 00:13:20,461 --> 00:13:22,019 Tap that. 328 00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:24,194 Uh, don't your people use Tap That? 329 00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:26,214 Of course we do. 330 00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:30,433 So you just gave her money? 331 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:32,781 I gave her recognition and affirmation. 332 00:13:32,806 --> 00:13:35,507 And ten American dollars, yes. 333 00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:37,088 I love your tattoo. 334 00:13:37,113 --> 00:13:38,036 Oh, thank you. 335 00:13:38,061 --> 00:13:39,594 Yeah, are those ants? 336 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,890 They are termites. 337 00:13:40,915 --> 00:13:42,815 That's revolting. 338 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,729 And so fascinating. 339 00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:46,454 Termites are one of the most adaptable 340 00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:47,632 species on the planet. 341 00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:49,148 They live in every climate, 342 00:13:49,173 --> 00:13:50,398 they've survived every epoch, 343 00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:52,062 and they produce so much hydrogen that 344 00:13:52,087 --> 00:13:53,435 the Department of Energy considers them 345 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:55,428 a potential renewable fuel source. 346 00:13:55,452 --> 00:13:56,918 They're miraculous. 347 00:13:56,943 --> 00:13:59,457 They also eat feces, but I'm sure you're aware. 348 00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:01,132 I... I think I recognize the artist. 349 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,669 Is it Kori Hurami? 350 00:14:02,694 --> 00:14:03,960 How did you know that? 351 00:14:03,985 --> 00:14:06,689 I have a really close friend who knows him. 352 00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:09,636 He and Kori shared a studio for a while in Kanagawa. 353 00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:11,729 You're friends with Josh from Inkburg? 354 00:14:11,754 --> 00:14:13,338 Josh is Liza's boyfriend. 355 00:14:13,363 --> 00:14:16,078 Ex-boyfriend. Not to rub it in. 356 00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:19,707 Well, uh, not so ex, anymore, actually. 357 00:14:19,732 --> 00:14:21,518 - What? - Uh, yeah. 358 00:14:21,543 --> 00:14:22,815 We're trying to figure things out. 359 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,585 Josh's work is just stunning. 360 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,821 I mean, it silences me every time I see it. 361 00:14:26,846 --> 00:14:28,245 He's a real artist. 362 00:14:28,271 --> 00:14:29,701 Yeah, he really is. 363 00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:36,481 - Thank you. - Good night. 364 00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:37,796 Have a good night. 365 00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:40,620 - Have a good one. - We'll be in touch. 366 00:14:41,082 --> 00:14:43,969 That went well, thanks to our millennials. 367 00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:45,519 Well, it was a group effort. 368 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,960 _ 369 00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:52,878 Oh, God, noses in their phones already. 370 00:14:52,903 --> 00:14:54,533 Good night. 371 00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:55,924 I'll see everyone in the morning. 372 00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,077 - Night. - Good night. 373 00:14:57,102 --> 00:14:58,866 I'm going uptown too. 374 00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:00,847 Taxi? 375 00:15:01,261 --> 00:15:03,887 Are we about to go to a billionaire's loft party? 376 00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,074 Yes, please. 377 00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,736 I may even find a computer nerd 378 00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:08,412 to help me crack open Thad's laptop. 379 00:15:08,437 --> 00:15:11,220 - You have the laptop with you? - Yes. 380 00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:34,867 - Your place is incredible. - What is that thing? 381 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,628 Ah, that is a thermodynamic decelerator. 382 00:15:37,654 --> 00:15:39,552 Yeah, the software engineers are using it 383 00:15:39,577 --> 00:15:41,644 to launch blocks of ice into the pool to see 384 00:15:41,669 --> 00:15:43,283 how much ice it takes to lower the temperature 385 00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:44,487 of the water one degree. 386 00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:45,700 Okay. Why? 387 00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:46,754 What else are you gonna do with 388 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,311 a thermodynamic decelerator? 389 00:15:48,336 --> 00:15:49,218 Right? 390 00:15:49,243 --> 00:15:50,776 Oh, please. Help yourself. 391 00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:52,171 Oh, Tequila? 392 00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:53,592 Condensed water. 393 00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,026 For maximum hydration. 394 00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:56,642 Your cells will thank you. 395 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,833 Uh, is there anything else I can get you? 396 00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:01,718 Actually, um, I was wondering 397 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,539 if anyone here could help me get into this old laptop? 398 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,549 It's a friend's. He forgot the password. 399 00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:08,852 Yeah. No problem. Uh, find Lin. 400 00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:10,544 No problem. 401 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,366 Oh, is that something healthy too? 402 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,903 No, it's cocaine. 403 00:16:15,928 --> 00:16:17,623 For the models. 404 00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:19,054 Unless you want some. 405 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,849 - No. - No? 406 00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:23,442 I just want to tell you both how glad I am 407 00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:25,000 that you're part of Empirical. 408 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,516 People can't always tell when I'm glad, 409 00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,025 because I'm a little on the spectrum, 410 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,395 but I'm really glad. 411 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,177 We are really glad too, Bryce. 412 00:16:31,202 --> 00:16:33,422 Yeah, I was worried that a publishing house, 413 00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,117 especially one as old as Empirical, 414 00:16:35,142 --> 00:16:38,194 would be nothing but relics like Charles and Diana, 415 00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:40,439 but you two get it... You get that 416 00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:42,727 we are literally on the cusp of being able 417 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,528 to do this... 418 00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:45,920 with a book. 419 00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:47,241 And you've read it. 420 00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:48,779 That's a book of photographs. 421 00:16:48,804 --> 00:16:51,717 Bottom line: if it wasn't for you two, 422 00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:54,177 and a need for some enormous taxable losses, 423 00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:56,342 I wouldn't even bother with Empirical. 424 00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:57,618 But with you? 425 00:16:57,643 --> 00:17:00,014 I sense a paradigm shift. 426 00:17:00,355 --> 00:17:02,811 Provided you're as committed to the future as I am. 427 00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:04,437 - Ah... - Are you? 428 00:17:04,462 --> 00:17:06,114 - Hell yes! - Absolutely! 429 00:17:06,139 --> 00:17:07,678 All right. Tap that. 430 00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:09,072 Oh. 431 00:17:10,105 --> 00:17:11,653 Ah, it was a big one! 432 00:17:11,678 --> 00:17:13,443 Ah, Lin. There you are. 433 00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:15,316 We need your, uh, code-cracking powers. 434 00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,151 This is Kelsey and Liza. This is Lin. 435 00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:18,719 Excuse me for a moment. 436 00:17:18,744 --> 00:17:20,797 I'm sure Lin can get your laptop open in a few minutes. 437 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,754 Minutes? I'm insulted. 438 00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:24,833 - Let me see it. - Oh. 439 00:17:29,024 --> 00:17:32,208 What if he's got stuff about other girls on there? 440 00:17:32,232 --> 00:17:34,040 Like, weird videos? 441 00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:37,189 Kelsey, you don't have to open it if you don't want to. 442 00:17:37,214 --> 00:17:40,063 But there could be some really sweet, meaningful stuff. 443 00:17:40,088 --> 00:17:41,709 - All done. - Seriously? 444 00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:44,576 I know, I was hoping for more of a challenge too. 445 00:17:44,698 --> 00:17:46,854 I'm really nervous. 446 00:17:46,879 --> 00:17:48,845 I'm right here. 447 00:17:49,123 --> 00:17:52,225 Whatever we find out, we find out together. 448 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,995 I'll give you some privacy. 449 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:56,796 Wait, Lin. What was the password? 450 00:17:56,821 --> 00:17:58,096 "Deez nuts." 451 00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,021 "Deez nuts"? 452 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,793 - That's my favorite snack? - Are they like Grape Nuts? 453 00:18:02,818 --> 00:18:03,927 What are Grape Nuts? 454 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,440 He's saying his nuts 455 00:18:05,465 --> 00:18:06,804 are my favorite snack. 456 00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:08,118 Meaning his balls. 457 00:18:08,143 --> 00:18:09,953 Ew. 458 00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:11,643 You know what? 459 00:18:11,668 --> 00:18:13,023 I'm done. 460 00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:17,274 Deez nuts are the last secret of Thad's 461 00:18:17,299 --> 00:18:19,133 that I needed to know about. 462 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,483 Hey, do me a favor. 463 00:18:23,508 --> 00:18:25,248 Launch this into the pool for me. 464 00:18:25,273 --> 00:18:27,757 Seriously? Excellent. 465 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:38,899 Rest in peace, Thad. 466 00:18:39,874 --> 00:18:41,758 Let's get out of here. 467 00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:51,768 I'm so glad that computer's not haunting me anymore. 468 00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:54,217 It's like I can finally breathe. 469 00:18:54,242 --> 00:18:55,919 Ah, I know what you mean. 470 00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:58,933 I mean, um, I'm so happy for you. 471 00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:00,969 I am so happy for you! 472 00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:04,169 But why didn't you tell me you and Josh were back together? 473 00:19:04,194 --> 00:19:08,035 Honestly, it's not all really resolved. 474 00:19:08,078 --> 00:19:10,729 Well, he did mess up not including you 475 00:19:10,754 --> 00:19:12,228 in that "T Magazine" thing. 476 00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:13,986 Did he apologize for that? 477 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,637 Yeah. 478 00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:17,362 And he's ready to have your relationship 479 00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:18,396 out in the open? 480 00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,089 There is nothing he would like more 481 00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:22,247 than an open, honest relationship. 482 00:19:22,272 --> 00:19:24,987 But sometimes you can't be 483 00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:26,273 100% honest. 484 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,525 Is that like a herpes thing? 485 00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:31,039 What? No! 486 00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:33,729 I know it seems impossible, 487 00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:36,537 but he could be gone just like that. 488 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,732 So if you love him, 489 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,945 just be with him. 490 00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:49,891 Good morning, everyone. 491 00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:51,614 I have an announcement to make. 492 00:19:51,639 --> 00:19:54,318 I'm very happy to tell you that I just received word 493 00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:57,416 that we have a new minority partner. 494 00:19:57,441 --> 00:19:58,896 Bryce Reiger. 495 00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:03,482 And let's have a very special round of applause 496 00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,530 for Kelsey and Liza. 497 00:20:05,555 --> 00:20:07,636 They really helped seal the deal. 498 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,850 Hi. 499 00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:50,131 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 500 00:20:50,156 --> 00:20:51,156 Hey. 501 00:20:51,181 --> 00:20:52,803 Maybe it's your turn to wait. 502 00:20:52,828 --> 00:20:54,581 I've got all the marshmallows. 503 00:20:54,606 --> 00:20:56,904 Yeah, well... 504 00:20:56,929 --> 00:20:59,035 I got the stick. 505 00:21:03,276 --> 00:21:04,675 Mm!