1 00:00:04,746 --> 00:00:06,310 Hey, good morning. 2 00:00:06,335 --> 00:00:07,406 That's a pretty dress. 3 00:00:07,431 --> 00:00:08,587 Oh, thanks. 4 00:00:08,655 --> 00:00:11,275 Just heading out to go check on my tomatoes. 5 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,319 You mean to that dirt patch around the corner? 6 00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:14,365 Looking like that? 7 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,735 Who are you trying to impress? 8 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:16,735 Is it that obvious? 9 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,971 Only to me. 10 00:00:17,996 --> 00:00:19,347 Well, her name is Malkie. 11 00:00:19,372 --> 00:00:21,419 I met her at the community garden last week. 12 00:00:21,444 --> 00:00:22,942 We talked for over an hour 13 00:00:22,967 --> 00:00:25,095 "about our love of 'Black Seaman" 14 00:00:25,646 --> 00:00:27,023 It's an heirloom tomato. 15 00:00:27,048 --> 00:00:27,914 Of course it is. 16 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,311 Yeah, she's not my usual type. 17 00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:30,436 She's got this, like, 18 00:00:30,476 --> 00:00:32,883 all natural, kind of kinfolky vibe. 19 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:33,972 Not a stitch of makeup. 20 00:00:33,997 --> 00:00:35,656 Can you tell that I'm wearing makeup? 21 00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:37,581 Uh, nope. You nailed "trying not trying." 22 00:00:51,564 --> 00:00:52,727 Good morning, Bryce. 23 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,665 What are you doing at my desk? 24 00:00:54,745 --> 00:00:58,653 Personal workspaces are antiquated and constricting. 25 00:00:58,678 --> 00:01:00,711 At all my other companies, we hot desk. 26 00:01:00,736 --> 00:01:02,102 - Hot desk? - Yeah. 27 00:01:02,127 --> 00:01:03,403 Everyone can sit wherever they want, 28 00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:04,370 whenever they want. 29 00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:05,485 It fosters equality, 30 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:07,528 which in turn boosts productivity. 31 00:01:07,597 --> 00:01:09,212 I love it. 32 00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:12,588 Becky. Get out of Diana's office. 33 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:13,596 But I'm hot desking. 34 00:01:13,621 --> 00:01:14,720 No, you're not. Get up. 35 00:01:14,745 --> 00:01:16,697 Get out. Now. 36 00:01:16,771 --> 00:01:18,972 - Does Charles know about this? - Of course. 37 00:01:18,997 --> 00:01:20,478 Anyone bringing me on as an investor 38 00:01:20,503 --> 00:01:22,025 knows that I'm a disruptor. 39 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,131 A world without hurricanes, Liza, 40 00:01:24,156 --> 00:01:25,879 is called a desert. 41 00:01:25,904 --> 00:01:27,309 Liza. Coffee. 42 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,410 You know what, Diana? 43 00:01:28,435 --> 00:01:29,939 At all my other companies, 44 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,732 everyone gets their own coffee. 45 00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:33,281 Well, at this company, 46 00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:34,650 Liza gets mine. 47 00:01:34,675 --> 00:01:36,049 Hierarchical structures 48 00:01:36,074 --> 00:01:37,955 are a real drag on productivity. 49 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,806 French roast. Black. 50 00:01:39,831 --> 00:01:41,124 Don't get the coffee, Liza. 51 00:01:41,149 --> 00:01:42,732 Liza, I'm not kidding. March. 52 00:01:42,757 --> 00:01:43,957 - Stay, Liza. - Go. 53 00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:45,336 - Sit. - No... okay, you know what? 54 00:01:45,361 --> 00:01:47,131 I was going to get myself a coffee, 55 00:01:47,156 --> 00:01:49,094 and while I'm there, I'll just... 56 00:01:49,119 --> 00:01:50,625 I'll get two. 57 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:52,943 Easy peasy. 58 00:01:59,977 --> 00:02:02,611 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 59 00:02:04,811 --> 00:02:06,177 He's abrasive. 60 00:02:06,202 --> 00:02:07,881 He looks like he just came from the Shire. 61 00:02:07,906 --> 00:02:10,470 He is completely dismissive of all of our traditions, 62 00:02:10,495 --> 00:02:11,881 and I don't care if he's "on the spectrum." 63 00:02:11,906 --> 00:02:14,290 If he refers to me as "that older lady in marketing" 64 00:02:14,315 --> 00:02:16,361 one more time, I will smother him in his own hoodie. 65 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,033 Bryce could help Empirical adapt 66 00:02:19,058 --> 00:02:21,667 in ways that we might not think of ourselves. 67 00:02:21,692 --> 00:02:24,521 Just pretend he's from a different culture. 68 00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,262 A culture you respect. 69 00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:27,404 Like the Japanese. 70 00:02:27,819 --> 00:02:30,191 - If that works for you. - Or the Swiss. 71 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,210 I mean, the Swiss are delightful. 72 00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:34,321 Yes, so they are. 73 00:02:34,346 --> 00:02:35,663 Is that you? 74 00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:39,631 Oh, I was, uh, photographed at the opera benefit. 75 00:02:39,656 --> 00:02:42,109 So funny how those things make the paper. 76 00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:43,702 You look great. 77 00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:45,280 And so does your... 78 00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:46,630 girlfriend? 79 00:02:46,991 --> 00:02:49,480 Let's just say it's new. 80 00:02:49,957 --> 00:02:51,834 Well, she is... 81 00:02:52,044 --> 00:02:53,444 really something. 82 00:02:53,469 --> 00:02:55,415 She is, isn't she? 83 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:08,111 Loving your hat today. 84 00:03:08,136 --> 00:03:10,709 Malkie, hi! 85 00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:12,469 - Hi. - Oh, I love yours too. 86 00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:14,761 It's actually from my boutique on Bedford. 87 00:03:14,786 --> 00:03:16,552 You have a boutique on Bedford? 88 00:03:16,577 --> 00:03:18,711 How cool. What an amazing location. 89 00:03:18,736 --> 00:03:19,910 Yeah, I'm... I'm lucky. 90 00:03:19,935 --> 00:03:21,879 - I have a pretty loyal clientele. - Mm. 91 00:03:21,904 --> 00:03:24,343 Hey, I took your gazpacho advice, 92 00:03:24,368 --> 00:03:25,769 "and I blended the 'Black Seama" 93 00:03:25,794 --> 00:03:27,544 with some 'Eva's Purple Balls.' 94 00:03:27,569 --> 00:03:28,764 - Delicious. - Right? 95 00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:31,759 They're so, like, juicy. 96 00:03:31,784 --> 00:03:33,852 They blend well with almost anything. 97 00:03:33,877 --> 00:03:35,452 There's something on your arm. 98 00:03:35,477 --> 00:03:37,311 Oh. 99 00:03:37,336 --> 00:03:38,585 Got it. 100 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,528 - Just a tomato leaf. - Thanks. 101 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,067 So, um, I'm actually hosting a little event 102 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,458 at the boutique tomorrow night 103 00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:46,322 to celebrate our new spring line. 104 00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:47,267 Would you want to come? 105 00:03:47,292 --> 00:03:48,582 I'd love to. 106 00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:50,635 I'm always in the market for a new hat. 107 00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:52,588 - Great. - Yeah. 108 00:03:52,613 --> 00:03:53,591 Okay, I'll see you then. 109 00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:54,713 Yeah, bye. 110 00:03:54,738 --> 00:03:55,722 Bye. 111 00:04:02,523 --> 00:04:04,853 Why are the interns playing "Grand Theft Auto" 112 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:05,959 in the conference room? 113 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,773 Another Bryce disruption. 114 00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:09,269 Want to complain about him over lunch? 115 00:04:09,294 --> 00:04:10,228 I can't. 116 00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:12,353 I have a sort of date. 117 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,987 What? That's great. 118 00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:15,245 Lauren set me up on one of the new 119 00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:16,523 dating websites, HandleBar. 120 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:17,810 Is that the one for girls 121 00:04:17,835 --> 00:04:19,354 who want to date guys with mustaches? 122 00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,229 No, that's Bristled Bros. 123 00:04:21,254 --> 00:04:24,164 HandleBar is for people who can't handle a bar 124 00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:25,171 - on a first date. - Oh. 125 00:04:25,196 --> 00:04:26,492 He's really cute, right? 126 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,327 Wha... cute? He's gorgeous. 127 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,884 I don't know if I've ever seen eyes that green. 128 00:04:30,909 --> 00:04:32,042 I know. 129 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,410 It's got to be FaceTuned, right? 130 00:04:33,435 --> 00:04:35,293 - Uh. - I just want to be realistic. 131 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:37,204 You know what they say. "Hope for the best. 132 00:04:37,229 --> 00:04:38,595 Brace for a serial killer." 133 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,010 Text me in case I need an excuse to bail. 134 00:04:41,035 --> 00:04:42,020 You got it. 135 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,441 So wait. 136 00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:46,726 You have your own imprint? 137 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,590 That's incredible. 138 00:04:48,615 --> 00:04:50,377 - _ - No, I... I think what 139 00:04:50,402 --> 00:04:51,549 you do is incredible. 140 00:04:52,412 --> 00:04:53,463 I can't imagine what it would 141 00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:55,454 be like to produce segments for Vice. 142 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,866 Have you been to Afghanistan? 143 00:04:56,891 --> 00:04:58,626 Yeah, uh... 144 00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,306 - A few times. - Wow. 145 00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:02,727 That's... that's intense. 146 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,243 You know what? I'm sorry. 147 00:05:05,268 --> 00:05:06,445 I'm putting this on silent. 148 00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:08,329 Me too. Airplane mode. 149 00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:10,847 Um, are you friends checking in on you too? 150 00:05:10,872 --> 00:05:12,057 Yes. 151 00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:13,440 This is so embarrassing, 152 00:05:13,465 --> 00:05:14,450 but I kind of thought your picture 153 00:05:14,475 --> 00:05:15,985 was just too good to be true. 154 00:05:17,436 --> 00:05:19,010 I thought the same thing. 155 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,183 Never would've imagined you'd be even prettier in person. 156 00:05:22,605 --> 00:05:25,444 Look, I know that I'm supposed to wait a couple of days 157 00:05:25,469 --> 00:05:27,246 before I ask you out again, 158 00:05:27,271 --> 00:05:29,370 but I'm over those kinds of games. 159 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,506 I know I want to see you again. 160 00:05:32,145 --> 00:05:33,864 Is tomorrow night too soon? 161 00:05:33,889 --> 00:05:36,027 No. Not at all. 162 00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:36,731 I... 163 00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:38,346 I would love that. 164 00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:43,857 Liza. 165 00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:49,939 Apparently, Charles has a new somebody. 166 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,202 I need you to find out everything 167 00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:52,416 about this Radha woman. 168 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,148 Yeah, I met her at the benefit. 169 00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:56,022 She seems nice. I think she works 170 00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:57,442 for some kind of foundation. 171 00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,870 That's it? I need more. Her Facebook is set to private. 172 00:05:59,895 --> 00:06:01,070 Oh, they're never really private. 173 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:02,651 I think there's something called Stalkbook. 174 00:06:02,676 --> 00:06:03,452 I'll check it out. 175 00:06:03,478 --> 00:06:04,824 Stalkbook? Really? 176 00:06:04,849 --> 00:06:06,309 Is there no end to the madness? 177 00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,531 Last week, someone suggested I get Cormac McCarthy 178 00:06:08,555 --> 00:06:10,378 on Snapchat. The man is 83. 179 00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:11,864 I know it's overwhelming, 180 00:06:11,889 --> 00:06:14,490 but it's not as hard to adapt as it seems. 181 00:06:14,515 --> 00:06:16,778 Oh, not to you. You've been texting since birth. 182 00:06:16,804 --> 00:06:18,389 Uh, right. 183 00:06:18,642 --> 00:06:21,842 But even so, I mean, it's less about learning new things 184 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,646 and more about letting go of old things. 185 00:06:24,671 --> 00:06:25,459 What do you mean? 186 00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:26,816 Uh, take voicemails, 187 00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:27,983 for instance. 188 00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,200 Maybe stop leaving those. 189 00:06:29,225 --> 00:06:30,144 They're now officially 190 00:06:30,169 --> 00:06:31,202 considered annoying. 191 00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:32,831 Interesting. What else? 192 00:06:32,856 --> 00:06:34,548 Email is on its way out. 193 00:06:34,573 --> 00:06:36,052 Texting is best, 194 00:06:36,077 --> 00:06:37,582 the less punctuation the better. 195 00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:38,773 Horrifying. Go on. 196 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,254 Oh, and don't say "dot com" anymore. 197 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:40,990 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 198 00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:42,436 And maybe think about 199 00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:43,323 softening your look. 200 00:06:43,348 --> 00:06:44,414 I mean, just a little. 201 00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:45,542 Like, be... 202 00:06:45,567 --> 00:06:46,632 comfortable. 203 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,540 I am comfortable. 204 00:06:54,933 --> 00:06:56,666 - Hey. - Thanks. 205 00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:00,659 He picked up the tab 206 00:07:00,684 --> 00:07:02,897 and paid for my Uber back to the office. 207 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,301 If this is dating, dating is easy. 208 00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,471 Whoa. He is, like, Hemsworth hot. 209 00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:08,536 Wait, is he a Hemsworth? 210 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:11,032 Wait, wait. Are those color contacts? 211 00:07:11,057 --> 00:07:12,002 - Oh, my God. - No. 212 00:07:12,027 --> 00:07:13,990 And in person, they twinkle. 213 00:07:14,015 --> 00:07:17,168 Oh, that explains the lens flare on the photo. 214 00:07:17,193 --> 00:07:18,023 What is the catch? 215 00:07:18,048 --> 00:07:19,027 Is he a himbo? 216 00:07:19,051 --> 00:07:20,722 No, he went to Columbia. 217 00:07:20,747 --> 00:07:21,527 Theater major? 218 00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:23,585 Engineering plus dual minors 219 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,141 in film and Russian literature. 220 00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,205 - Strong combo. - Russian literature. 221 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,067 So he's boring. 222 00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:28,396 He's been to North Korea. 223 00:07:28,421 --> 00:07:29,259 Self-centered? 224 00:07:29,284 --> 00:07:30,382 A mansplainer? 225 00:07:30,407 --> 00:07:32,533 Bad dresser? Cargo pants? 226 00:07:32,558 --> 00:07:34,285 No. Totally on fleek. 227 00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:35,809 Okay, no. Two things. 228 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,442 Never say "on fleek" again, all right? 229 00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:38,634 That is beyond over. 230 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,994 More importantly, you might have a big problem here. 231 00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:42,965 He... he sounds like a diamond in the rough, okay? 232 00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:44,167 And you cannot squander a diamond in the rough, 233 00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:45,654 not in these dark dating times. 234 00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:47,214 All right, you put him on the back burner 235 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:48,846 and find yourself a bad pancake first. 236 00:07:48,871 --> 00:07:50,408 What's a bad pancake? 237 00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:53,595 It's this theory that the first guy that you date 238 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,095 after a serious relationship 239 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,938 is doomed to be the bad pancake. 240 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:59,917 Yeah, because the first pancake always gets burned. 241 00:07:59,942 --> 00:08:02,342 The bad pancake never turns out to be a real relationship. 242 00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:04,381 - It's predestined to fail. - That's not true. 243 00:08:04,406 --> 00:08:07,372 I mean, technically, I'm Liza's bad pancake. 244 00:08:07,397 --> 00:08:09,012 - I'm still here. - Yeah, and you two 245 00:08:09,036 --> 00:08:10,586 are the picture of a stable relationship. 246 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:13,137 Listen, guys, Max is throwing a party tomorrow night 247 00:08:13,162 --> 00:08:15,192 with some of the other intern friends from his hospital. 248 00:08:15,217 --> 00:08:17,282 You guys should all come, and bring Lucas, all right? 249 00:08:17,307 --> 00:08:18,685 I want to check him out for myself. 250 00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,463 Maybe a quick hello. 251 00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:21,764 Okay, we'll stop by. 252 00:08:22,249 --> 00:08:23,952 Uh, is Max okay? 253 00:08:23,977 --> 00:08:25,620 Oh, yeah, no, no, no. He's fine. 254 00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:27,488 Yeah, he's just power napping. 255 00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:28,621 His shift started at 4:00 a.m., 256 00:08:28,646 --> 00:08:30,595 and then he had to stay late to reattach a thumb. 257 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,101 Wait, do you guys want to see a pic of the thumb 258 00:08:32,126 --> 00:08:33,283 before they reattach it? No. 259 00:08:33,308 --> 00:08:34,269 - Yes, yes! - Yes. 260 00:08:45,999 --> 00:08:47,474 Hello. 261 00:08:47,996 --> 00:08:49,918 Something's different about you. 262 00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:52,789 Can't quite put my finger on it. 263 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,852 Oh, you can put your finger on it. 264 00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:58,040 Liza. 265 00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:04,350 Well? 266 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,652 I love the jeans. You look... 267 00:09:06,677 --> 00:09:07,820 Not the jeans. 268 00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,399 Radha. Details. 269 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,776 Oh, she's the director 270 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,930 of the Rockefeller Repositioning Fund. 271 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,454 So she's a do-gooder? 272 00:09:15,479 --> 00:09:16,514 On a vast scale. 273 00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:17,791 She speaks four languages, 274 00:09:17,816 --> 00:09:20,026 law and environmental studies degrees from Yale, 275 00:09:20,051 --> 00:09:22,108 plus she has a line of cruelty-free handbags. 276 00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:23,606 Where do the profits go? 277 00:09:23,698 --> 00:09:26,607 Back to the worker-owned factory in Pakistan. 278 00:09:27,236 --> 00:09:28,177 Kill me. 279 00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:29,638 But you know what? 280 00:09:30,059 --> 00:09:31,941 I bet she's just the bad pancake. 281 00:09:31,966 --> 00:09:32,852 The what? 282 00:09:32,877 --> 00:09:34,050 It's this theory that 283 00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,181 the first person you date 284 00:09:35,206 --> 00:09:36,372 after a serious relationship 285 00:09:36,397 --> 00:09:38,169 is doomed to be the bad pancake 286 00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,465 - because the first pancake... - Always gets burned! 287 00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:41,197 Yes, definitely. 288 00:09:41,222 --> 00:09:42,682 She is definitely the bad pancake. 289 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,299 Yeah, so... 290 00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:48,189 So the jeans. 291 00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:50,218 Too much? 292 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:51,576 You look great. 293 00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:53,193 Totally on fleek. 294 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,484 What? Fleek? I'm... 295 00:09:54,509 --> 00:09:55,975 I'm not familiar with that phrase. 296 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:56,908 Should I be? 297 00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:58,138 Actually, don't bother. 298 00:09:58,163 --> 00:10:00,035 - I think it's already over. - Mm. 299 00:10:01,065 --> 00:10:02,898 So far, the "P is for Pigeon" reviews 300 00:10:03,076 --> 00:10:04,742 are lining up nicely, and we... 301 00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:07,768 I've been invited to Summit, and I have to prepare a speech. 302 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:08,996 We're in a meeting, Bryce. 303 00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:11,356 Right, I should have prefaced with "excuse me." 304 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:13,049 - So the speech needs... - What is Summit? 305 00:10:13,074 --> 00:10:15,333 It's an elite tech conference. 306 00:10:15,358 --> 00:10:16,979 The most elite in the world. 307 00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:18,124 They want to hear my ideas 308 00:10:18,148 --> 00:10:19,991 for reinventing an old media company. 309 00:10:20,016 --> 00:10:22,950 By "old media," you mean books? 310 00:10:22,975 --> 00:10:24,233 Yes. Metadata-wise, 311 00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:25,646 interactive digital books 312 00:10:25,671 --> 00:10:27,429 are clearly where the industry is heading. 313 00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:29,185 When people read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," 314 00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:30,766 they want to actually enter Narnia, 315 00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,350 not just read about it. 316 00:10:32,413 --> 00:10:35,214 Isn't that what your imagination is for? 317 00:10:35,239 --> 00:10:37,635 I always hated the end of "The Great Gatsby," you know? 318 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,243 We could issue an interactive version 319 00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:41,025 where readers decide that Gatsby never gets shot 320 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:41,949 in that pool. 321 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,737 Spoiler alert. 322 00:10:43,762 --> 00:10:44,761 Why are you even here? 323 00:10:44,786 --> 00:10:46,414 Meetings are open to everyone now. 324 00:10:46,439 --> 00:10:50,406 Okay, so you and your esteemed protégé over there 325 00:10:50,431 --> 00:10:51,698 think it would be a good idea 326 00:10:51,723 --> 00:10:55,410 to rewrite one of the most iconic American classics 327 00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:56,495 of all time? 328 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,535 Why not? 329 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,843 We could even deconstruct 330 00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,353 the entire e-book model, you know? 331 00:11:00,378 --> 00:11:01,838 Make all of Empirical just an app. 332 00:11:01,863 --> 00:11:04,306 Wow, that's really, uh, depressing. 333 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,497 It's also not going to happen, 334 00:11:05,522 --> 00:11:06,721 but I am doing my best 335 00:11:06,746 --> 00:11:09,014 to appreciate your enthusiasm, Bryce. 336 00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:11,362 If I may resume. 337 00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:14,277 "P is for Pigeon" was released today, and... 338 00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:15,668 It won't sell. 339 00:11:15,693 --> 00:11:18,261 Metrics indicate people actively dislike pigeons. 340 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:20,543 It is not literally about pigeons. 341 00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:23,753 It is a metaphor 342 00:11:24,076 --> 00:11:26,549 based on the life of Martha, 343 00:11:26,574 --> 00:11:29,530 the world's last known living passenger pigeon, 344 00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:31,787 and you would know that, 345 00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,712 if you had ever bothered 346 00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:35,104 to read it! 347 00:11:36,589 --> 00:11:37,988 Excuse me. 348 00:11:41,524 --> 00:11:43,679 I offended them. Why? 349 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,327 Uh, you just said you wanted to reduce 350 00:11:45,352 --> 00:11:47,352 a century of literary distinction 351 00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:48,599 down to an app. 352 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,604 And that's offensive, how? 353 00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:57,176 Do you think actual books 354 00:11:57,201 --> 00:11:58,988 could really become just a novelty? 355 00:11:59,013 --> 00:12:00,047 Truth? 356 00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:01,645 Yeah, probably. 357 00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:02,944 Look at newspapers. 358 00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:04,603 Yeah, and quaaludes. 359 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,874 No, no, not for you. Stop. 360 00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,099 It's for Maggie's new garden crush, Malkie. 361 00:12:09,124 --> 00:12:12,425 I'm telling you, she and I have this amazing 362 00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,543 unspoken erotic spark. 363 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,707 She invited me to this party, 364 00:12:15,732 --> 00:12:17,832 and I'm bringing my famous Bolognese. 365 00:12:17,857 --> 00:12:19,321 It's an aphrodisiac. 366 00:12:19,346 --> 00:12:21,342 The secret is the sausage. 367 00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:23,600 I thought you guys avoided sausage. 368 00:12:27,195 --> 00:12:29,122 - _ - Oh, we got to go. 369 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:31,095 We have a doctor's appointment. 370 00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:32,848 Doctor's appointment. 371 00:12:32,873 --> 00:12:34,411 - Good luck. - Bye. I'll save you some. 372 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:39,401 Mm. 373 00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:43,013 Ah, ah! There you are. 374 00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:44,403 Where have you been? 375 00:12:44,428 --> 00:12:45,884 The nitrous tank is already kicked. 376 00:12:45,909 --> 00:12:47,956 Hey, guys. Want a shot? 377 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,674 - Oh. - Nice. 378 00:12:51,699 --> 00:12:53,606 Hey, this is Liza. This is Josh. 379 00:12:53,631 --> 00:12:54,854 Hi, I'm Lucas. 380 00:12:54,878 --> 00:12:56,208 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 381 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,255 So, uh... 382 00:12:58,281 --> 00:13:00,859 - everyone here is a doctor? - Or sleeping with one. 383 00:13:00,884 --> 00:13:02,084 Looks like somebody needs a refill. 384 00:13:02,109 --> 00:13:03,576 Yeah, we should go put these beers in the fridge. 385 00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:04,345 Okay. 386 00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:05,211 He's so cute. 387 00:13:05,236 --> 00:13:06,215 I know, right? 388 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,461 Okay, okay, that beautiful man 389 00:13:08,486 --> 00:13:09,847 is soul mate material. 390 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,158 Dude, you cannot date him right now. 391 00:13:11,183 --> 00:13:12,364 Your mixed-up widow brain 392 00:13:12,389 --> 00:13:14,354 is going to eff it the eff up. 393 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:15,208 Oh, my God. 394 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,627 I will, won't I? Damn it. 395 00:13:16,652 --> 00:13:18,852 Okay, put that quality batter back in the fridge 396 00:13:18,877 --> 00:13:20,438 and find a bad pancake. 397 00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:22,299 You know what I'm tired of? 398 00:13:22,324 --> 00:13:24,642 All these... these wannabe MILFs blaming us 399 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,196 for their inability to get preggo. 400 00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:27,588 Like every day. 401 00:13:27,613 --> 00:13:28,654 Wannabe MILFs? 402 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,450 Yeah, yeah, these hot older women 403 00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:32,730 who want to be moms but have no idea 404 00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:34,381 their ovaries are basically toast. 405 00:13:34,406 --> 00:13:36,586 I tell all my patients over 35 to wake up 406 00:13:36,612 --> 00:13:38,620 and smell the biological clock. 407 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:39,956 Want a hit? 408 00:13:39,981 --> 00:13:41,556 Oh, yeah. 409 00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:43,425 Hey. 410 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,683 There you are. 411 00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:46,986 I was scared you were hiding from me. 412 00:13:47,838 --> 00:13:51,191 Were you hiding from me? What is it? 413 00:13:51,216 --> 00:13:52,949 If it's something I did or said... 414 00:13:52,974 --> 00:13:55,743 No, oh... oh, my God, you... you didn't do anything. 415 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,157 You're... great. 416 00:13:58,182 --> 00:14:01,916 It's just that I am finally getting back on my feet 417 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,111 after an intense relationship 418 00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,334 that ended in an even more intense way. 419 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,719 We've all had bad endings to relationships. 420 00:14:08,744 --> 00:14:10,152 Trust me. 421 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,870 Not like mine. 422 00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:13,089 I know that we just met, 423 00:14:13,114 --> 00:14:16,390 but I think that we could have something, 424 00:14:16,415 --> 00:14:21,142 and my friend has this bad pancake theory where... 425 00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:22,965 I know the bad pancake theory. 426 00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,434 I have sisters. 427 00:14:24,459 --> 00:14:25,976 Wait a second. 428 00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:29,223 I think I understand. 429 00:14:29,248 --> 00:14:32,889 You don't want me to be the bad pancake. 430 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,309 Is that it? 431 00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,467 I get it. You need some time. 432 00:14:36,492 --> 00:14:39,162 - I can give you that. - Really? 433 00:14:39,187 --> 00:14:41,218 You don't meet girls worth waiting for every day, 434 00:14:41,243 --> 00:14:43,291 so when you do, 435 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,261 you wait. 436 00:14:45,787 --> 00:14:48,131 So what you're saying is, 437 00:14:48,156 --> 00:14:51,405 when a woman, like, turns, I don't know, say, 40, 438 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:53,802 the chances of her getting pregnant are, like, what? 439 00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:54,456 Cut in half? 440 00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:55,904 More than half, brah. 441 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,252 Once you hit 35, 442 00:14:57,277 --> 00:14:59,015 - shit starts to break down. - Really? 443 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,041 That's why I'm shooting mine out in my 20s! 444 00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:04,439 Uh, yeah. Getting pregnant in your 20s 445 00:15:04,464 --> 00:15:06,104 is like catching a cold. 446 00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:08,694 Wow. Hmm. 447 00:15:26,776 --> 00:15:28,038 Maggie. 448 00:15:28,063 --> 00:15:29,173 - You made it. - Hi. 449 00:15:29,198 --> 00:15:30,775 - Come in. - Wow. 450 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,620 Um, it... it's not what I expected. 451 00:15:33,645 --> 00:15:35,065 Ooh, uh... 452 00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:37,090 buying this. Love it. 453 00:15:37,148 --> 00:15:39,373 Yeah, my store specializes 454 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:42,098 in stylish clothing for the modest woman. 455 00:15:42,123 --> 00:15:43,818 Mostly Orthodox Jewish women. 456 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,130 Right. 457 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:47,273 Yeah, I mean, of course. 458 00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:50,040 Oh, this sauce looks amazing. 459 00:15:50,065 --> 00:15:50,999 What's in it? 460 00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:53,526 Oh, it's, um... It's a sausa... 461 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,755 You know, it's a bad batch. 462 00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:02,843 Are you okay? 463 00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:05,657 Mm, fine. Yeah, great. 464 00:16:06,723 --> 00:16:08,147 I have a confession to make. 465 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,038 Um, I must be off my game or something, 466 00:16:10,063 --> 00:16:12,692 because I kind of missed a few things. 467 00:16:12,899 --> 00:16:14,375 I thought you were gay, 468 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,075 not Orthodox. 469 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,574 Well, why can't I be both? 470 00:16:19,742 --> 00:16:21,909 I'm what you might call... 471 00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,415 an Orthodyke. 472 00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:30,903 Is that medical grade? 473 00:16:30,928 --> 00:16:32,783 Chemo wing at the hospital. 474 00:16:33,463 --> 00:16:34,540 Oh, my God. Amazing. 475 00:16:34,565 --> 00:16:35,553 What? 476 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,432 Uh, "P is for Pigeon" was just nominated 477 00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:38,645 for the Man Booker Prize. 478 00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,775 - Is that good? - Yes. 479 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,996 It's one of the most prestigious awards in publishing. 480 00:16:43,021 --> 00:16:44,231 Amazing, babe. Congrats. 481 00:16:44,256 --> 00:16:46,023 Thank you. It's all Diana's doing. 482 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,515 I have to call her. I'll be right back, okay? 483 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,473 All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 484 00:16:48,498 --> 00:16:50,133 Oh, my God. 485 00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,272 It's late. What did you do? 486 00:16:57,298 --> 00:16:58,654 Are you sitting down? 487 00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:00,271 Liza, please. 488 00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:02,440 Okay, well... 489 00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:04,450 It was what? 490 00:17:04,555 --> 00:17:06,277 The... the Booker? 491 00:17:06,302 --> 00:17:07,591 Are you sure? 492 00:17:07,616 --> 00:17:09,892 Uh, well, how did you find out? 493 00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:13,085 No, no, I don't have Google Alerts. 494 00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:15,551 Perhaps my assistant should set it up. 495 00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:17,940 Okay, well, um... 496 00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:20,946 thank you for informing me. 497 00:17:26,731 --> 00:17:28,843 Thank you for being so cool. 498 00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:30,301 I'll be thinking about you 499 00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:32,138 the entire tram ride home. 500 00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:33,513 Tram? 501 00:17:33,538 --> 00:17:36,704 Yeah, uh, I live on Roosevelt Island. 502 00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:39,096 You live on Roosevelt Island? 503 00:17:39,121 --> 00:17:41,173 Like, you live there. Full-time. 504 00:17:41,198 --> 00:17:43,371 Uh, yeah. 505 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,285 I actually... I... 506 00:17:44,311 --> 00:17:45,982 I bought my place there. 507 00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:48,233 - I got a great deal on it. - Bought. 508 00:17:48,258 --> 00:17:49,846 Did you just say you live on Roosevelt Island? 509 00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:51,437 Like... like, you... You live there, live there? 510 00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:52,721 Wasn't it a leper colony? 511 00:17:52,745 --> 00:17:54,012 Is it true there's a curfew? 512 00:17:54,037 --> 00:17:55,599 Do Ubers even go there? 513 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,521 Roosevelt Island. Oh, my God, I was wrong. 514 00:17:57,546 --> 00:17:59,021 He... he is your bad pancake. 515 00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:00,921 In fact, he is the perfect bad pancake. 516 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,642 Okay, don't you think that we could work some... 517 00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:03,967 Girl, are you fully registering? 518 00:18:03,992 --> 00:18:05,462 He lives on Roosevelt Island! 519 00:18:05,487 --> 00:18:06,666 Oh, my God. 520 00:18:06,692 --> 00:18:07,754 You're right. 521 00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,264 That's my bad pancake. 522 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,654 Tram slam him. 523 00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:12,365 Then you come straight home. 524 00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:28,396 Well, that was unexpected. 525 00:18:29,645 --> 00:18:32,094 You are all over the place, 526 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:33,205 and I like it. 527 00:18:39,906 --> 00:18:42,326 Lucas, I'm sorry, but... 528 00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:44,474 I'm not getting off the tram. 529 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,836 What? Why? 530 00:18:46,861 --> 00:18:47,796 Wait. 531 00:18:47,821 --> 00:18:50,402 Is this because I live on Roosevelt Island? 532 00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,433 You think I'm the bad pancake. 533 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,676 No. Maybe. 534 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,248 Oh, my God. Okay, yes. 535 00:18:56,274 --> 00:18:57,173 I'm so sorry. 536 00:18:57,198 --> 00:18:58,664 It's really not that bad here. 537 00:18:58,689 --> 00:19:00,522 It's like the Ile Saint-Louis of Manhattan. 538 00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,314 There's even talk about getting a Whole Foods. 539 00:19:02,339 --> 00:19:04,005 I got a great Mexican place by me 540 00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,283 that also serves sushi. 541 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,923 Hey, do you want a Xanax? 542 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,465 What? No. 543 00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:20,773 Where did you get a Xanax? 544 00:19:20,798 --> 00:19:22,342 Some drunk neurologist 545 00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:23,993 gave me some party favors on the way out. 546 00:19:24,977 --> 00:19:27,499 I had no idea doctors were so chill. 547 00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:28,892 Yeah. 548 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:31,634 Uh, so what was, um... 549 00:19:31,659 --> 00:19:33,651 What was with all the pregnancy questions? 550 00:19:33,676 --> 00:19:34,860 What? 551 00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,430 I don't know, babe. 552 00:19:36,455 --> 00:19:38,231 I'm just curious, I guess. 553 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,896 Hey, why did you decide 554 00:19:42,921 --> 00:19:44,348 to have Caitlin so young? 555 00:19:44,373 --> 00:19:46,480 I didn't exactly decide. 556 00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:49,167 I guess you could say I caught a cold. 557 00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:52,632 And it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. 558 00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:57,482 You ever think you'd catch a cold again? 559 00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:00,562 I don't think so. 560 00:20:02,404 --> 00:20:04,314 I'm still getting over the first one. 561 00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,203 Oh, Bryce. 562 00:20:16,228 --> 00:20:20,275 I have something you can talk about at your Summit. 563 00:20:21,259 --> 00:20:22,925 "P is for Pigeon"... You know, 564 00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:24,494 the book you said no one you read... 565 00:20:24,519 --> 00:20:27,338 Has been longlisted for the Man Booker Prize. 566 00:20:28,342 --> 00:20:30,610 The Booker? Oh, my God, Diana. 567 00:20:30,635 --> 00:20:32,356 - That's fantastic. - Isn't it? 568 00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:33,886 No one at Summit will care about that. 569 00:20:33,911 --> 00:20:36,956 People at Summit might not care, but I sure do. 570 00:20:37,271 --> 00:20:38,962 Congratulations. 571 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:40,796 Thank you. 572 00:20:40,821 --> 00:20:42,837 Everybody, congratulations. 573 00:20:42,862 --> 00:20:46,615 Bryce, I've been thinking about your ideas for Empirical, 574 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,872 and I think you're wrong. 575 00:20:47,906 --> 00:20:50,093 I doubt that. I'm rarely wrong. 576 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,451 Wait, wrong about what? 577 00:20:51,476 --> 00:20:53,734 The future of this company, of books. 578 00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:57,093 I believe great literature will survive, 579 00:20:57,118 --> 00:20:59,418 because we need great stories. 580 00:20:59,443 --> 00:21:02,064 I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic. 581 00:21:02,089 --> 00:21:03,615 Like Don Quixote. 582 00:21:03,641 --> 00:21:05,681 Yeah, hopefully less delusional. 583 00:21:05,705 --> 00:21:07,271 You are delusional if you can't see 584 00:21:07,296 --> 00:21:10,384 that it's time to either evolve or die 585 00:21:10,409 --> 00:21:12,233 like an extinct pigeon. 586 00:21:12,258 --> 00:21:14,605 My disruptions are gonna save your company. 587 00:21:15,062 --> 00:21:18,488 Rewriting Fitzgerald is not a disruption. 588 00:21:18,655 --> 00:21:20,511 It's a desecration. 589 00:21:20,933 --> 00:21:22,735 Well, I'm not gonna invest in your company 590 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,461 if you aren't gonna listen to my ideas. 591 00:21:24,486 --> 00:21:25,838 Well, then... 592 00:21:26,477 --> 00:21:29,157 maybe you shouldn't invest in our company. 593 00:21:30,735 --> 00:21:32,188 Then congratulations 594 00:21:32,213 --> 00:21:34,190 on rendering your company nugatory. 595 00:21:34,431 --> 00:21:36,273 I'll have my lawyers contact yours. 596 00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:46,360 Hey, I just want you to know 597 00:21:46,385 --> 00:21:48,335 that what you just did back there 598 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,694 is what makes Empirical extraordinary. 599 00:21:51,823 --> 00:21:54,739 It's why I'm so happy to be working here. 600 00:21:54,764 --> 00:21:55,943 Thank you. 601 00:21:56,178 --> 00:21:58,270 I appreciate that. 602 00:21:59,476 --> 00:22:02,147 I just hope I didn't talk myself onto the brink of bankruptcy. 603 00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:05,175 Well, me too, obviously, but... 604 00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:07,485 you followed your heart, 605 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,602 and that's what's important. 606 00:22:09,775 --> 00:22:12,414 Yeah, well, sometimes I can be impulsive 607 00:22:12,439 --> 00:22:14,576 when I'm following my heart.