1
00:00:00,079 --> 00:00:03,810
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:06,719
Well, hey, there, sailor.
3
00:00:06,744 --> 00:00:08,036
Where are you dropping anchor?
4
00:00:08,061 --> 00:00:11,132
A group of us are joining the
Fire Island invasion this year.
5
00:00:11,157 --> 00:00:14,129
It's the annual drag
parade from Cherry Grove.
6
00:00:14,155 --> 00:00:16,122
Can I fix you some chow
before the crossing?
7
00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,564
No, no, no. Actually,
I've got to hustle.
8
00:00:17,589 --> 00:00:18,934
I'm gonna miss the fairy ferry. Muah!
9
00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:20,402
Okay. Ooh, your moustache tickles.
10
00:00:20,427 --> 00:00:22,405
Nice. I think I can work with that.
11
00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:24,810
- Have fun.
- You too
12
00:00:24,835 --> 00:00:27,720
And don't work too hard. It's summer.
13
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:32,503
♪ You are in and I'm
out for the count ♪
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00:00:32,528 --> 00:00:34,927
♪ Unconditional love ♪
15
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,925
♪ Take me down, knock me out ♪
16
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,551
♪ Kiss me now but don't promise me ♪
17
00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:43,125
We need to finalize the media plan
18
00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:44,967
on the next Annabelle Bancroft book.
19
00:00:44,992 --> 00:00:47,228
Oh, also,
call Jackie Dunn's office and tell them
20
00:00:47,253 --> 00:00:48,910
I need to reschedule lunch on Tuesday.
21
00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,852
I can make the jitney
if I leave at 1:00.
22
00:00:50,877 --> 00:00:52,244
Can you pick me up in Bridgehampton
23
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,402
across from Candy Kitchen?
24
00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:54,598
What are you wearing?
25
00:00:54,623 --> 00:00:57,056
It's summer Friday, lady.
26
00:00:57,536 --> 00:01:00,614
Ceci got us a table at Navy Beach,
but I'm not eating.
27
00:01:00,639 --> 00:01:02,436
My God, I can smell her Banana Boat.
28
00:01:02,461 --> 00:01:04,507
Why do they even bother
coming in at all?
29
00:01:05,163 --> 00:01:07,862
See if you can get on Charles’s
schedule before lunch.
30
00:01:07,887 --> 00:01:09,832
He never signed off on
my September budget.
31
00:01:09,857 --> 00:01:12,124
Oh, he left for Pound Ridge last night.
32
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Of course he did.
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00:01:13,661 --> 00:01:16,445
[upbeat music]
34
00:01:16,691 --> 00:01:21,133
♪ ♪
35
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:25,192
Hey, did you finish Colin's book?
36
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:26,941
I was up half the night
but only got through
37
00:01:26,966 --> 00:01:28,154
the first 700 pages.
38
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And what do you think?
39
00:01:29,085 --> 00:01:30,951
I mean, I know it
could use some editing,
40
00:01:30,976 --> 00:01:33,232
but am I just being blinded by lust?
41
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:34,860
Because I think it's pretty amazing.
42
00:01:34,885 --> 00:01:37,044
I mean, it's overwritten,
but I still...
43
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:38,349
I couldn't put it down.
44
00:01:38,374 --> 00:01:41,683
I mean, it's like a dystopian
"Bonfire of the Vanities."
45
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:42,938
Oh, my God.
46
00:01:42,963 --> 00:01:45,017
That's exactly how I would sell it.
47
00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:47,188
I'm just worried about
the conflict of interest.
48
00:01:47,213 --> 00:01:49,169
Like, I don't want people to
think that I'm buying the book
49
00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:51,430
because I'm sleeping with him,
and I don't want to lose the
50
00:01:51,455 --> 00:01:52,333
book because I'm sleeping with him.
51
00:01:52,358 --> 00:01:54,162
Ah, the old Catch-69.
52
00:01:54,187 --> 00:01:55,671
Ohh, what am I gonna I do?
53
00:01:55,695 --> 00:01:58,446
Well, first, you need to own
the fact that you're together.
54
00:01:58,471 --> 00:02:00,762
And then you've got to
get Colin a good agent.
55
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,105
I mean, you may be screwing the guy,
56
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:03,676
but you don't want to screw him.
57
00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:05,346
I do know just the person.
58
00:02:06,578 --> 00:02:09,632
How dare you call me about
work on a summer Friday?
59
00:02:09,657 --> 00:02:12,448
I wouldn't unless it
was something special.
60
00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:14,541
A have the new writer I
want to talk to you about.
61
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,151
Well, is he hot?
62
00:02:16,176 --> 00:02:18,566
It's all about the jacket photo
for a first-time novelist.
63
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I'm dating him, Redmond,
so what do you think?
64
00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:23,113
Well, if you really
want me to consider him,
65
00:02:23,138 --> 00:02:24,754
bring him to the Gansevoort rooftop.
66
00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:26,114
Half the publishing biz will be there
67
00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:27,504
for cocktails this afternoon.
68
00:02:27,529 --> 00:02:28,628
Oh, we'll be there.
69
00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:29,944
And send me the manuscript.
70
00:02:29,969 --> 00:02:31,258
Ugh.
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[upbeat music]
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00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:41,336
♪ ♪
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Why do I need an agent?
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00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:47,366
I already want to make a
deal for my book with you.
75
00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:48,431
And you will.
76
00:02:48,456 --> 00:02:50,581
But I've got to keep this above board.
77
00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:53,635
And you need a someone on
your side that has integrity,
78
00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:55,064
somebody with a great reputation,
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someone that people respect.
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[gasps] Kelsey, sweetheart.
81
00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:01,117
- Really?
- Trust me.
82
00:03:01,142 --> 00:03:04,875
Colin, this is Redmond,
the best book agent in the business.
83
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,944
She flatters me, but she's not wrong.
84
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,203
Nice to meet you, Redmond.
85
00:03:09,228 --> 00:03:10,716
Colin, I'll be honest with you.
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00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:13,260
If Kelsey hadn't slipped me
your little Bildungsroman,
87
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:15,090
it never would have made
it out of my slush pile.
88
00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,940
But lucky for all of us, she did.
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00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,211
You've put a fun house
mirror up to this city
90
00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:24,457
and our culture that's both
hilarious and depressing,
91
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:25,994
at least in the chapter I read.
92
00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,584
- Thank you.
- Don't thank me.
93
00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,824
Thank the gorgeous editrix
who discovered you.
94
00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:31,974
Thank you, gorgeous editrix.
95
00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:34,773
Wait, does this mean you're
going to represent the book?
96
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,170
Because you already have a buyer.
97
00:03:36,196 --> 00:03:39,367
If you want to talk business,
get in the pool.
98
00:03:39,392 --> 00:03:41,821
Oh, see you in minute.
99
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,384
Um, we didn't bring swimsuits.
100
00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:46,829
No problem. They have
them here. Come on.
101
00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:50,170
Hmm, what looks good?
102
00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:51,511
I'm not sure.
103
00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:54,136
I've never bought a bathing suit
out of a vending machine before,
104
00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:55,827
let alone one that also sells condoms.
105
00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:57,418
- What about that one?
- Seriously?
106
00:03:57,442 --> 00:03:59,256
I've already got some
dental floss in my purse.
107
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:02,405
Oh, right. How's the, um, situation?
108
00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,445
- It's under control.
- Okay.
109
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,553
Colin?
110
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,274
Can't I just swim in my boxers?
111
00:04:07,299 --> 00:04:09,145
[chuckles] My treat.
112
00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:11,692
How about the red one?
113
00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,833
Mm, don't do Speedos.
114
00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:17,002
It's amazing the things
you'll do to live your dream.
115
00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:18,006
Right, Liza?
116
00:04:18,031 --> 00:04:20,441
Oh, absolutely.
117
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:26,051
Okay, I have never felt more
naked in my entire life.
118
00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:27,676
Okay, well, you look amazing.
119
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,267
But whatever you do,
just don't bend over.
120
00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:33,709
Wow, I... I thought
this was a work event.
121
00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,597
Oh, we are definitely working it.
122
00:04:35,622 --> 00:04:37,852
- Hey, Kels.
- Hey, Josh.
123
00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:39,359
Oh, this is Colin.
124
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,255
Also working it. Don't judge.
125
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,400
Judging, yeah.
126
00:04:42,425 --> 00:04:44,225
Hey, we've got a deal to close.
127
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,759
- Okay.
- Meet you in the pool.
128
00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:53,689
I mean, when I...
when I see you wearing this,
129
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:56,180
it just... it just make me want to...
130
00:04:56,205 --> 00:04:57,871
Okay.
131
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,263
All right, we can talk about that later.
132
00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:02,974
Oh, we can, can we?
133
00:05:02,999 --> 00:05:04,614
We can talk.
134
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,453
Vending machine's that way.
135
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:08,472
Okay.
136
00:05:09,563 --> 00:05:12,716
All right, okay.
137
00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:15,030
[laughs]
138
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:17,060
Whoo.
139
00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:19,899
Ugh, I hate summer.
140
00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,978
Everyone's in the
Hamptons or the Vineyard,
141
00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,910
and here I am talking to you.
142
00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:27,722
My entire weekend is like a desert,
143
00:05:27,747 --> 00:05:29,580
except with 90% humidity.
144
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:30,731
Mm.
145
00:05:30,756 --> 00:05:34,671
Honestly, I just lie around
in bed all weekend reading,
146
00:05:34,697 --> 00:05:36,519
bingeing "Frasier" reruns
147
00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,715
until it's time to go
back to work on Monday.
148
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:39,608
I feel pathetic.
149
00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:41,661
Well,
you could rent a place in the Hamptons.
150
00:05:41,686 --> 00:05:42,960
Have you consider that?
151
00:05:42,985 --> 00:05:44,818
A single woman renting in the Hamptons?
152
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,025
Well, that may be the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
153
00:05:47,051 --> 00:05:49,018
You're alone out of choice, Diana.
154
00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:50,175
Excuse me?
155
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,434
You've filtered so many men.
156
00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:53,925
And you have so many rules.
157
00:05:54,036 --> 00:05:55,402
You mean standards.
158
00:05:55,427 --> 00:05:58,536
No, I mean barriers to intimacy.
159
00:05:58,814 --> 00:06:01,215
Look, we can sit here,
and we can talk and talk and talk,
160
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,773
but the story doesn't change.
161
00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:04,444
And whose fault is that?
162
00:06:04,469 --> 00:06:07,434
Instead of pointing fingers,
why don't we try pointing
163
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:08,827
in the direction of a solution?
164
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:09,834
Oh, well, by all means.
165
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:11,860
Get out there. Take a few swings.
166
00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:14,297
The next attractive man you see,
talk to him.
167
00:06:14,322 --> 00:06:15,522
Ask him out for coffee.
168
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,062
Is this the Freudian approach?
169
00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:19,472
Or did you just see this on
"Millionaire Matchmaker"?
170
00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,512
I hear that you're frustrated.
171
00:06:21,537 --> 00:06:24,593
But your frustration has
become your comfort zone.
172
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,668
Okay, think of this as an experiment.
173
00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:28,989
Talk to the next
interesting man you meet
174
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,929
and observe what happens.
175
00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:32,585
Oh.
176
00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:35,138
We'll see.
177
00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:37,713
I'm not letting you off
the hook on this one.
178
00:06:38,438 --> 00:06:40,071
Fine.
179
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,722
Nothing like starting the
weekend after a good cry with
180
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,242
your therapist, am I right?
181
00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:57,589
Actually, I am a therapist.
182
00:06:57,615 --> 00:06:58,962
Marriage and Family.
183
00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:00,390
Office next door.
184
00:07:00,415 --> 00:07:02,381
Oh, well,
185
00:07:02,406 --> 00:07:04,825
I always heard that shrinks
were the crazy ones.
186
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:07,045
Especially the ones on East 65th Street.
187
00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:09,207
We're in a class of our own.
188
00:07:09,653 --> 00:07:12,141
I hope you're sane enough to
leave the city this weekend.
189
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,699
It's supposed to be almost 100.
190
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,813
Oof, my ex-wife got
the house in Woodstock,
191
00:07:16,838 --> 00:07:19,651
so I've learned to love
summer in the city.
192
00:07:19,676 --> 00:07:21,930
I think it's kind of sexy, actually.
193
00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:23,710
Especially at night.
194
00:07:23,904 --> 00:07:26,140
I like your perspective.
195
00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:28,264
Diana, by the way.
196
00:07:28,289 --> 00:07:29,355
Richard.
197
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,315
[quirky upbeat music]
198
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,618
♪ ♪
199
00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:36,206
Stop me if I'm being too forward,
200
00:07:36,231 --> 00:07:39,586
but would you care to
join me for a coffee?
201
00:07:40,051 --> 00:07:42,464
You're asking me for a coffee?
202
00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:44,129
Are you serious?
203
00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:46,831
I mean, in this heat?
204
00:07:47,144 --> 00:07:49,280
How about a beer?
205
00:07:51,564 --> 00:07:53,514
Sounds perfect.
206
00:07:55,757 --> 00:07:57,435
[laughter]
207
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:59,366
To my newest client.
208
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,319
- Yay.
- Ow.
209
00:08:01,344 --> 00:08:04,824
Redmond, I'm going to ask Liza
to make the deal on this one.
210
00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:06,162
Seriously?
211
00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:08,998
Yeah, I'm gonna stay out of
it due to extreme prejudice.
212
00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:10,549
Get ready to bend over.
213
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,951
That's what I've keep telling her.
214
00:08:11,976 --> 00:08:13,342
Hey.
215
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:14,741
Babe.
216
00:08:14,766 --> 00:08:17,554
Emily, get over here and
meet my genius new client.
217
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,255
You ladies know Emily Burns from EW?
218
00:08:20,279 --> 00:08:22,757
Liza, it's me.
219
00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:24,000
Jackie Dunn's old assistant.
220
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,053
I work at EW now.
221
00:08:25,078 --> 00:08:26,513
Emily, that's fantastic.
222
00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:28,854
This is Kelsey Peters.
She runs Millennial Print.
223
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,797
- Hey.
- Oh, my God, respect.
224
00:08:30,822 --> 00:08:32,821
I have heard such great
things about your imprint.
225
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,839
Oh, thank you.
226
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:36,038
Also, I heard about what
happened to your fiancé.
227
00:08:36,064 --> 00:08:38,027
You must have been crushed.
228
00:08:38,378 --> 00:08:40,488
I apologize. Terrible choice of words.
229
00:08:40,513 --> 00:08:43,020
Wow, Emily, meet Colin McNichol,
230
00:08:43,046 --> 00:08:45,264
Kelsey's hottest new author.
231
00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:47,158
And his book's not bad either.
232
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,273
EW should totally do
something about Millennial.
233
00:08:50,298 --> 00:08:51,903
You guys should come
to the office Monday
234
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:53,109
and meet my boss, Jess Cagle.
235
00:08:53,134 --> 00:08:55,201
- Absolutely.
- Oh, we'd love to.
236
00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:56,366
Liza, I'll email you.
237
00:08:56,392 --> 00:08:58,256
Are you still
Dianatroutassistant@empirical?
238
00:08:58,281 --> 00:09:01,366
- Yeah.
- Oh, and Lmiller@millennial.
239
00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:03,278
Awesome.
240
00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,555
- EW.
- Oh, my God.
241
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,215
Both: Ahh.
242
00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:08,868
Kiss each other.
243
00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,036
What?
244
00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:14,751
[upbeat music]
245
00:09:16,186 --> 00:09:19,454
I've prepared Millennial's
offer for Colin's book.
246
00:09:19,479 --> 00:09:21,446
You want to take a look
before I send it to Redmond?
247
00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:22,570
Yes.
248
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,496
We're offering a $75,000 advance
249
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,355
with a standard royalty rate,
plus bonuses if the book hits
250
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,446
"The New York Times"
best seller list or earns out
251
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:32,152
its advance within a
year of publication.
252
00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,231
It's all pretty great
for a first-time writer
253
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:36,921
but nothing that crosses the line.
254
00:09:37,196 --> 00:09:38,729
Perfect.
255
00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:40,734
Thank you for looking out for me.
256
00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:41,723
Always.
257
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,085
Hey do you think that you can
slip away for that EW meeting?
258
00:09:44,111 --> 00:09:45,955
Yeah, Diana's seeing her therapist.
259
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,065
I have 50 minutes.
260
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,714
[rock music]
261
00:09:49,738 --> 00:09:51,771
♪ ♪
262
00:09:52,032 --> 00:09:55,172
Hi, Kelsey Peters and Liza
Miller from Millennial.
263
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:57,364
We have an appointment with Jess Cagle.
264
00:09:57,488 --> 00:10:00,653
- Hey, what's up?
- I slipped the manuscript to a
265
00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:02,155
producer friend of mine at Paramount.
266
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,271
And he thinks it's
perfect for Scott Rudin.
267
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:05,829
How fast can you get me your offer?
268
00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,284
Liza can send it over now.
269
00:10:07,308 --> 00:10:08,289
[silently] Okay.
270
00:10:08,314 --> 00:10:11,528
We are just at EW about
to meet with Jess Cagle.
271
00:10:11,553 --> 00:10:13,986
Go, girl, and tell Jess I'm available
272
00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:15,717
if He needs a date for the Oscars.
273
00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:17,948
- [laughs]
- Hi guys.
274
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:19,690
Jess will see you now.
275
00:10:19,715 --> 00:10:22,323
- Thanks.
- Okay.
276
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:26,167
We are a baby imprint,
less than year old,
277
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,341
targeting millennials.
278
00:10:27,366 --> 00:10:28,951
That's why they're called Millennial.
279
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,839
But the main story is that
Kelsey is the youngest woman
280
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,403
in the business to be
running her own imprint.
281
00:10:34,428 --> 00:10:36,595
- That's interesting.
- Really interesting.
282
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,156
- Really interesting.
- Any big books coming out?
283
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,429
Actually, we just bought a
book from this incredible young
284
00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:44,110
"New Yorker" writer, Colin McNichol.
285
00:10:44,135 --> 00:10:47,332
It's this brilliant dystopian
epic about New York.
286
00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:48,968
Cool.
287
00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:53,244
It's, um, like "Bonfire of the Vanities"
288
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:54,995
meets "The Walking Dead."
289
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,486
Are there zombies?
290
00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:59,471
Yes. And they occupy Wall Street.
291
00:10:59,497 --> 00:11:03,133
I shouldn't say anything else,
but Scott Rudin loves it,
292
00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:05,891
and Paramount's already
talking a three-picture deal.
293
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,163
Send us the manuscript.
294
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:10,189
Maybe we can do something online
about the book and Millennial.
295
00:11:10,214 --> 00:11:12,020
- We really should.
- Wonderful.
296
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:14,844
Get the press kit and bios and galleys,
297
00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:16,435
and we'll see what we can do.
298
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,324
Thank you. It was so nice to meet you.
299
00:11:18,349 --> 00:11:19,892
Thank you so much.
300
00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:22,357
Oh, my God.
301
00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:25,342
Zombies? A three-picture deal?
302
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:26,919
I don't... I know I just blurted it out.
303
00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:28,824
It's like a got EW-titis or something.
304
00:11:28,849 --> 00:11:31,428
Well, sometimes you need to
stretch the truth a little
305
00:11:31,453 --> 00:11:33,403
to get what you want.
306
00:11:36,934 --> 00:11:39,928
So I took your advice,
307
00:11:39,953 --> 00:11:43,688
left the office,
and struck up a conversation
308
00:11:43,713 --> 00:11:44,927
with an attractive man.
309
00:11:44,952 --> 00:11:47,295
Wonderful. Wonderful. How did it go?
310
00:11:47,319 --> 00:11:49,097
Surprisingly well.
311
00:11:49,997 --> 00:11:53,672
We went out for drinks,
and he introduced me
312
00:11:53,697 --> 00:11:55,167
to the Moscow Mule.
313
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:57,183
It's a delightful cocktail.
314
00:11:57,207 --> 00:11:59,159
Sounds like you had a nice time.
315
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,484
Yes, I did.
316
00:12:00,509 --> 00:12:02,042
I think you may actually know him.
317
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:02,852
Do I?
318
00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:04,584
Yes, it's Richard Caldwell,
319
00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:06,359
the therapist in the office next door.
320
00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:08,870
You went out for a
drink with Dr. Caldwell?
321
00:12:09,516 --> 00:12:11,989
I... I find that very inappropriate.
322
00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:13,430
Oh, you may not know.
323
00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:15,721
He's recently separated from his wife,
so...
324
00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:17,707
Oh, yeah, I know. She threw him out.
325
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,516
Excuse me.
326
00:12:22,601 --> 00:12:25,198
Uh, yeah, all right.
327
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,382
Excuse me, I'm in session.
328
00:12:33,407 --> 00:12:35,443
How dare you proposition
one of my patients
329
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:36,654
right outside of my office.
330
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,762
I should file an ethics
complaint with the APA.
331
00:12:38,787 --> 00:12:41,197
[laughs] I'm amazed you
still have a license at all
332
00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:43,405
considering you were
arrested for shoplifting.
333
00:12:43,431 --> 00:12:44,767
You sleep here. In your office.
334
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:45,640
Only temporarily.
335
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,168
You wash your hair in the sink.
336
00:12:47,193 --> 00:12:48,801
- It's appalling.
- At least I have hair.
337
00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:50,607
Men, men, don't fight.
338
00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,465
Okay, that's it. That's it.
I'm telling management.
339
00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,290
You can't sleep in your office;
you're violating the
340
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,346
terms of your lease.
341
00:12:55,371 --> 00:12:57,096
Paul, there's nothing more pathetic
342
00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:58,396
than an adult tattletale.
343
00:12:58,421 --> 00:13:01,133
No, what's pathetic is picking
up a needy, vulnerable patient
344
00:13:01,158 --> 00:13:02,197
outside my office.
345
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:05,673
To be fair, I did engage him
in conversation on your advice.
346
00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:08,065
Diana, you have self-esteem
and body image issues.
347
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,470
None of this is your fault.
348
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,495
However, if you continue to see Richard,
349
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,520
our therapeutic relationship is over.
350
00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,858
I understand.
351
00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:20,269
[upbeat music]
352
00:13:20,294 --> 00:13:26,501
♪ ♪
353
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,905
I wasn't making much
progress with him anyways.
354
00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:31,323
♪ ♪
355
00:13:31,426 --> 00:13:33,393
♪ Now baby, baby, baby ♪
356
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:35,392
♪ Don't you try to
run those game on me ♪
357
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,155
♪ I'm two steps ahead of you ♪
358
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,601
I'm worried about Kelsey.
359
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:40,601
You know, she's going a little
off the rails for this guy.
360
00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:42,328
I mean, the way she's hyping him...
361
00:13:42,617 --> 00:13:45,021
Hey, a little hype never hurts.
362
00:13:45,046 --> 00:13:47,477
Honestly,
I'm not sure the book's that great.
363
00:13:47,502 --> 00:13:49,802
I mean, the characters are relatable,
364
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:52,800
but the writing is all over the place.
365
00:13:52,826 --> 00:13:55,835
[laughs] That feels so good.
366
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,461
You're so slippery.
367
00:13:58,486 --> 00:14:00,690
I'm slippery.
368
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:04,344
You know, I could just
slip it in right now.
369
00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:06,517
Just keep doing what you're doing.
370
00:14:06,543 --> 00:14:08,657
Don't knock it till you try it.
371
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:13,650
You know, it can be
mind-blowing for both of us.
372
00:14:13,675 --> 00:14:15,329
Actually, you know
what? I have tried it.
373
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,518
- What?
- With my ex-husband.
374
00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:18,368
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
375
00:14:18,393 --> 00:14:20,509
You know,
when you've been married long enough,
376
00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:22,606
you try everything out of pure boredom.
377
00:14:22,631 --> 00:14:24,030
Do you know what I'm talking about here?
378
00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:26,860
Josh,
your generation didn't invent anal sex.
379
00:14:26,884 --> 00:14:28,837
You just invented talking
about it all the time.
380
00:14:28,863 --> 00:14:31,326
- Forget it.
- Oh, sorry.
381
00:14:31,351 --> 00:14:32,973
It's just not my thing.
382
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,430
Is it really that big of a deal?
383
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:39,879
No, I... I just feel
like I can't compete
384
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:41,812
with all the years you were married.
385
00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:46,349
You know, nothing we do is
ever gonna be new for you.
386
00:14:46,374 --> 00:14:47,895
That's not true.
387
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,196
Come on.
388
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,171
I think it is.
389
00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:55,355
I'm never gonna be your
first time for anything.
390
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,045
[upbeat jazzy music]
391
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:09,207
♪ ♪
392
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:11,052
Good morning.
393
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,409
Coffee's ready.
394
00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:14,182
Scrambled okay?
395
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,952
Yes, that would be nice.
396
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,854
I can't believe I slept so late,
397
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:24,325
but then I remembered that
we had quite a workout.
398
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,250
Yes, we did.
399
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:30,197
So I just heard from the
landlord of my building.
400
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:33,948
- They're evicting me.
- What?
401
00:15:34,245 --> 00:15:36,935
Yes, that passive-aggressive prick
402
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,481
also known as your therapist
blew the whistle on me
403
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,053
about sleeping in my office.
404
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:43,833
Richard, I'm so sorry.
I feel so responsible.
405
00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:45,896
You have absolutely zero culpability.
406
00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:48,214
- These were my choices.
- Thank you.
407
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,216
I was wondering though if you
wouldn't mind if I stayed here
408
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:55,327
for a few days,
just until I find another place.
409
00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:59,910
Uh, well, I don't know.
410
00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:02,165
We just met, so...
411
00:16:02,203 --> 00:16:04,129
I completely understand.
412
00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:05,873
I'll be out of your hair this morning.
413
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,288
Thank you.
414
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,323
You know what I love
to do over breakfast?
415
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:14,621
Talk about dreams,
while they're still fresh.
416
00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,641
You want me to tell you my dreams?
417
00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,714
Indulge me?
418
00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:22,584
All right, let's see.
419
00:16:22,609 --> 00:16:25,553
Oh, I was on a stage
420
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,151
shopping for a couch...
oh, but for my old apartment...
421
00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:32,093
And somehow it was raining.
422
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:36,418
Oh, oh, and I was also in
the audience watching myself.
423
00:16:36,443 --> 00:16:39,219
Wow, so much to unpack here.
424
00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:41,533
The stage is your consciousness.
425
00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:43,543
And that old soggy couch,
426
00:16:43,568 --> 00:16:46,543
that's your past you
don't want to let go of.
427
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,975
But I do want to let go.
428
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,473
[chuckles]
429
00:16:54,949 --> 00:16:58,284
I am happy to stay have
you stay for a few days.
430
00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,801
Whatever you want.
431
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:02,090
♪ ♪
432
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:09,108
[upbeat music]
433
00:17:09,356 --> 00:17:11,033
[phone chimes]
434
00:17:11,057 --> 00:17:13,747
_
435
00:17:15,788 --> 00:17:20,909
_
436
00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:25,373
_
437
00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,594
Hey, how was your
weekend in Fire Island?
438
00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:33,858
Well, I missed the
ferry to Cherry Grove.
439
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:36,072
So I had to get off at the Pines.
440
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,430
What a nightmare.
441
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:38,357
Why?
442
00:17:38,382 --> 00:17:40,766
Well, Cherry Grove is the girls'
side of the island.
443
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,636
The Pines is the boys' side.
444
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:45,682
Oh, so you got off at the
Pines dressed as a man.
445
00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:47,052
That must have been interesting.
446
00:17:47,077 --> 00:17:48,648
You have no idea.
447
00:17:48,673 --> 00:17:51,415
I had to trek through the
meat rack to get home.
448
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,858
- The meat rack?
- Use your imagination.
449
00:17:53,883 --> 00:17:56,017
Anyway,
this a horny guy started to follow me,
450
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,675
so I had to rip my shirt
off to scare him away.
451
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,657
Oh, yeah, I guess the last
thing anybody wants to see
452
00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:01,159
is a rack in the rack.
453
00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:03,882
[laughs] So how was
your night with Josh?
454
00:18:03,907 --> 00:18:06,518
Well, it started with a massage
455
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,097
and ended with me leaving.
456
00:18:08,122 --> 00:18:09,825
What happened? Did you have a fight?
457
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:10,932
Yeah.
458
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,469
I mean, on the surface,
it was about sex,
459
00:18:12,494 --> 00:18:15,868
but really it was about Josh
having a hard time with the idea
460
00:18:15,893 --> 00:18:18,160
that I've had this
whole life before him.
461
00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:20,845
Mm, I mean, the sex I can work with,
462
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:23,781
but the fact that you've had
a life before you met him
463
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:25,558
is just something that he's
gonna have to deal with.
464
00:18:25,583 --> 00:18:28,292
Yeah, I think I know what I need to do.
465
00:18:30,036 --> 00:18:33,004
[upbeat music]
466
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:36,117
♪ ♪
467
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:39,906
Hey, you are not going to believe this,
468
00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:42,763
but EW online just ran
an article on Millennial,
469
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,250
and included a big
excerpt from Colin's book.
470
00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:48,309
Oh, my God. Amazing.
471
00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,173
They must have really
loved his book over there.
472
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,553
They write about him like
he's the next big thing.
473
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,612
You trusted your gut on this guy.
474
00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:55,861
I'm proud of you.
475
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,038
Thanks. Can you cover my phone?
476
00:18:58,063 --> 00:18:59,741
I'm gonna go over to
his place to celebrate.
477
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,938
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Okay.
478
00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:03,330
Awesome.
479
00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:06,344
[upbeat music]
480
00:19:06,369 --> 00:19:13,790
♪ ♪
481
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:15,851
- Hey.
- Hey.
482
00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,042
Did you see EW?
483
00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:20,368
- I just did.
- [laughs]
484
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,728
♪ ♪
485
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,502
Congratulations.
486
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,789
Are you sure you still
want to celebrate with me?
487
00:19:27,814 --> 00:19:29,491
What do you mean?
488
00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:31,182
Oh, I guess you haven't
talked to Redmond yet.
489
00:19:31,207 --> 00:19:34,526
No, why?
490
00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:39,104
Random House just offered
me 1.2 million for the book.
491
00:19:40,288 --> 00:19:41,671
Wait. We have a deal.
492
00:19:41,695 --> 00:19:43,562
I just sent it to Redmond yesterday.
493
00:19:43,587 --> 00:19:44,909
I know.
494
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,667
But nothing's been signed yet.
495
00:19:46,692 --> 00:19:49,880
Colin, Millennial
can't match that offer.
496
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,203
Excuse me.
497
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,107
Kels...
498
00:20:04,165 --> 00:20:05,831
What the hell, Redmond?
499
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:09,182
Kelsey, I was just going to call you.
500
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:10,567
We had a deal.
501
00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:13,768
No, you made an offer,
and you asked me to be fair.
502
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:16,529
1.2 million? How did that even happen?
503
00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:19,491
Well, after that EW article hit,
there was a feeding frenzy.
504
00:20:19,516 --> 00:20:22,318
Why did you give them the
book without a signed deal?
505
00:20:22,343 --> 00:20:25,005
You created this monster, Kels.
506
00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:28,152
And as his agent,
it is my fiduciary responsibility
507
00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:29,443
to get him the best deal.
508
00:20:29,468 --> 00:20:30,770
This is not fair.
509
00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:33,444
No it isn't fair. It's business.
510
00:20:33,469 --> 00:20:35,685
Go to Charles and ask
him if he'll go to 1.3.
511
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,677
I won't, and I can't.
512
00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:39,242
You stabbed me in the back.
513
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,046
No, I did my job.
514
00:20:41,071 --> 00:20:43,027
You overshared.
515
00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:52,695
You made this happen for me,
Kels, all right?
516
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,187
I won't take another offer,
no matter what Redmond says.
517
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,331
And I wouldn't be here
at all without you.
518
00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:01,102
No, I'm not going to let
you miss out on this.
519
00:21:03,286 --> 00:21:05,588
I would never hold you back.
520
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:12,939
- Whoa.
- [laughs]
521
00:21:18,675 --> 00:21:24,317
♪ Lord almighty,
I feel my temperature rising ♪
522
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,285
♪ Higher, higher ♪
523
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:32,686
♪ It's burning through to my soul ♪
524
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:39,712
♪ Girl, girl, girl,
girl you gonna set me on fire ♪
525
00:21:39,878 --> 00:21:41,771
Just relax.
526
00:21:41,796 --> 00:21:45,811
Don't fight it. Don't tense up.
527
00:21:46,154 --> 00:21:48,975
You're just gonna feel a little prick.
528
00:21:49,596 --> 00:21:50,840
It's okay.
529
00:21:50,865 --> 00:21:52,140
I've given birth.
530
00:21:52,165 --> 00:21:53,689
[laughs]
531
00:21:53,714 --> 00:21:56,347
♪ Like the sweet song of a choir ♪
532
00:21:56,371 --> 00:21:58,476
[tattoo needle buzzing]
533
00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:00,485
Ow, ow, ow, ow. Don't...
534
00:22:00,511 --> 00:22:03,367
Speak now. Are you sure you like it?
535
00:22:03,392 --> 00:22:04,659
[sighs]
536
00:22:04,683 --> 00:22:06,204
I love it.
537
00:22:06,239 --> 00:22:07,682
It's us.
538
00:22:07,707 --> 00:22:09,892
Living in the now.
539
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:15,526
So when we're together,
it's like time has stopped.
540
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,623
[tattoo needle buzzing]
541
00:22:17,648 --> 00:22:21,705
♪ You light my morning
sky with burning love ♪
542
00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:24,976
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -