1 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,412 All right. Shh. 2 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,613 I don't want to wake up Maggie. 3 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,048 I can't find my shirt. 4 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,883 Well, it's not a proper walk of shame 5 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,252 unless you've lost some clothes and some self-respect. 6 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,188 Are you slut-shaming me right now? 7 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,556 - Yes. Yes, I am. 8 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,496 - Oh. 9 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,099 What are you doing? 10 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,433 He's taking out the trash. 11 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,268 That's not the trash. That's my art. 12 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,469 I'm sorry. 13 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,037 Maggie, you remember Josh? 14 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,506 I do. Good morning, Josh. 15 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,940 All right, well... 16 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,175 I will call you later. 17 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,144 Okay. 18 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,745 I'm sorry, again. 19 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,616 You snuck a boy in? 20 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,618 No, I walked him in. I was sneaking him out. 21 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,586 Am I not allowed to have boys spend the night? 22 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,422 No, I've never even thought about it. 23 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:55,789 I mean, how about 24 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,725 you're not allowed to have boys spend the night 25 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,927 who trash my art-- sound good? 26 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,495 Fair enough. 27 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,597 These actually still might work. 28 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,933 I'm transforming old perfume bottles 29 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,135 into beer bottles. 30 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,802 It's part of my new show called 31 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,872 Deceptive Intentions: Reconstructing Gender Norms. 32 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,141 Or Bitches Brew. 33 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,275 I haven't decided yet. 34 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,776 I didn't know you had a show next month. 35 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,245 Well, I haven't had time to tell you 36 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:19,380 because you're so busy living your fabulous, 37 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,614 new, 26-year-old life. 38 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,815 Fabulous. 39 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,451 I'm tired all the time. 40 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,219 I'm either out partying or having sex and-- 41 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,420 - Oh. - Yeah. All right. 42 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,655 Yeah, I realized as soon as I said that 43 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,822 I wasn't gonna get much sympathy. 44 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,023 I feel like I saw more of you 45 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,425 when you lived in New Jersey. 46 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,726 Why don't we do something tonight? 47 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,162 Well, there's this new young artist 48 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,463 premiering at my gallery, 49 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,930 and I need to show up to be supportive. 50 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,599 It's gonna be awful. Come with me. 51 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,067 I'm in. You sold me. 52 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,503 Let's make sure to get a crappy meal beforehand too. 53 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,809 I need you to be on your game today, Liza. 54 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,179 And then raise your same several levels to my game. 55 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,346 Do you think you can do that? 56 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:53,847 - Uh... - Just try to keep up. 57 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,716 Charles has scheduled a meeting, 58 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,685 and I've heard it is about repackaging. 59 00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,188 And do you know who is in charge of repackaging? 60 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,589 - Us. - Me. 61 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:04,525 And perhaps, if the client is big enough, 62 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,893 Charles too. 63 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,995 We may even have to work some late nights. 64 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:08,996 Do you like him? 65 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,664 He is a married man, Liza. 66 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,267 But an attractive straight man in a publishing house is rare. 67 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,304 It's like finding Louboutins at a yard sale. 68 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,972 Plus I heard a rumor his marriage is on the rocks. 69 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,708 So we are going into that conference room 70 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:21,975 for that meeting. 71 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,578 I need you to take detailed notes. 72 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,214 I plan on being distracted. 73 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,218 So Hollywood is finally starting to recognize 74 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,519 Chinua Achebe's work, 75 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,221 and we are in discussions with the estate 76 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,357 for the rights to reissue and repackage the book 77 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,792 to accompany the film release. 78 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,329 I'm dying. 79 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,530 What's wrong? 80 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:43,964 My Goddess Cup is stuck. 81 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,233 It feels like it's launching 82 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,501 unsanctioned air strikes on my cervix. 83 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,437 What's a Goddess Cup? 84 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:52,440 Like, a menstrual accoutrement. 85 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,008 You know, it's like a tampon, but eco-friendly. 86 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,610 It sits up inside your stuff like a-- 87 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,911 Like a diaphragm? 88 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,013 What's a diaphragm? 89 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,949 I can't. I have got to go. 90 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,752 The nun plays the role. 91 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,523 Wow, this message board is filled with angry emojis. 92 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,958 Apparently this happens a lot. 93 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,327 Okay--okay, okay, okay. Here we go. 94 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,397 If you orgasm, the contractions will release the cup. 95 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,499 Orgasm? I'm at work. 96 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,401 I can talk you through it. 97 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,635 Kelsey? 98 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,170 I'm back here. 99 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,508 - No. 100 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:28,776 It's still up there. 101 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,811 Clearly I have a huge vagina. 102 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,480 I'm not sure why I bother carrying a purse. 103 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,815 Hey, I knew a girl who got a tampon stuck 104 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,384 and she had to go to the walk-in clinic. 105 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:39,553 Weeks later, she was convinced a rat had died in her apartment, 106 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,021 but it was just her. 107 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:44,392 It turns out, the clinic only removed half the tampon. 108 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,294 That's a cute story. 109 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,495 Liza, 110 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,729 I'm gonna need your help. 111 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,698 Okay, what can I do? 112 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,099 I need you to lock the door, 113 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,635 and I need you to wash your hands. 114 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,037 I wouldn't ask, but it's an emergency, okay? 115 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,172 I'm going on, like, 14 hours here. 116 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,810 Damn it. 117 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,879 * Check it in, check it out, show them what you got * 118 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,482 * What the are you all about? * 119 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,683 * What the 120 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,918 Thank you. 121 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,520 We will never speak of this again. 122 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,056 Liza. 123 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,958 You are the real deal. 124 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,228 Anything you ever need, ever, 125 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,130 I got you. 126 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,602 I'm so sorry. I was in the bathroom. 127 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,170 Spare me the details. 128 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,340 Charles wants to get together and talk about this repackaging, 129 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,007 so I volunteered to meet him over lunch. 130 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,609 Oh, are you going out? 131 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,245 No, we're eating in here. It's a work lunch, Liza. 132 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,448 Quick question. 133 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:44,217 When I put my chin in my hand, do I look riveted? 134 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:47,655 Or like I'm holding a pastry bag of chin skin? 135 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,956 I'm so sorry. 136 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,991 I was distracted by this prestigious award 137 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,793 from the London lit fair on your desk. 138 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,628 2012. Bad year for books. 139 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,829 Good year for trout. 140 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,197 Now, lunch. 141 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,367 I want you to get the specials from Betony on 57th. 142 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,168 And I want them hot, so take the car service. 143 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,570 Empirical has a car service? 144 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,171 Only for work emergencies. 145 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,407 It's an emergency. 146 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,776 * Doing that thing I love 147 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,378 * Can't get enough * 148 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,279 * That thing you got 149 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,047 * You know I want it, baby 150 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,883 * Doing that thing I love 151 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,485 * Can't get enough * 152 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:21,589 * What you need is a woman who can understand * 153 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,992 * I heard you knock at my door * 154 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,661 * Watch me open up 155 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,563 * Oh 156 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,133 But I am-- 157 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:36,003 I am really excited about this repackage. 158 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,705 Have you read Achebe? 159 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,239 I'm sure I have. 160 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,909 Yeah, Things Fall Apart is one of my favorite books. 161 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:44,578 I actually think it's required reading, now, in high school. 162 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,079 It is. 163 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,415 Oh, yeah. Have you read it? 164 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,882 Yeah, I read the entire trilogy. 165 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,083 I couldn't put it down. 166 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,319 Yes, the trilogy is groundbreaking. 167 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,254 Oh, so you have read Achebe. 168 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,790 What's your favorite? 169 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,091 Of the trilogy? 170 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,193 Oh, well, um... 171 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:04,231 Probably the second book. 172 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,734 No Longer at Ease... 173 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,068 Then put the box down. 174 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,603 Is a great title for the second book, 175 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,071 don't you think? 176 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,574 About a man caught between two worlds. 177 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,276 Adiche's Americanah comes close to capturing that experience, 178 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,879 but nothing measures up to Achebe. 179 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,148 You're very well-read. I'm impressed. 180 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,750 You know what I'm not impressed with 181 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,951 is the state of this cod. 182 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,454 It's freezing. 183 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:30,157 Take that on your way out. 184 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,359 Thank you. 185 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,229 I'm ecstatic. 186 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:41,301 Yes, absolutely. Okay. 187 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,906 Don't you ever book-drop like that again. 188 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,307 I was only trying to help. 189 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,376 You were insinuating that I am bad at my job. 190 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,344 I will have you know that I am the hardest worker here. 191 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,246 When these lightweights go on vacation, I work; 192 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,348 while you were Instagramming your way through India, 193 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,784 I was working; and before that, 194 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,786 when you were vaporizing on the quad at Dartmouth, 195 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,320 developing your fondness for African literature, 196 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,955 do you know where I was? 197 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,725 - And don't you forget it. 198 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,897 Whoo. 199 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,165 Let's go get a drink tonight. I owe you one. 200 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,501 I might need a week before I can even 201 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,668 look at you again. 202 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,236 Besides, I can't tonight. 203 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,071 I'm going to an art show with my roommate. 204 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:21,074 Ew, that old lady you met on Craigslist? 205 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,076 - I'll rescue you. - No, no, no. It's okay. 206 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,344 We probably won't stay long. 207 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,746 It's supposed to be really bad. 208 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:26,947 Not if I come. 209 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,348 I'll bring my friends. It'll be fun. 210 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:29,950 No, it's okay. I-- 211 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,685 This is happening. 212 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,529 So Kelsey's coming to this show? 213 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,797 Yeah, she sort of invited herself. 214 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,132 It'll be fine. 215 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,734 Or weird. 216 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,402 You know, you and me hanging out is just-- 217 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,204 I'm just worried she's gonna think I'm-- 218 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,406 - Old...er. 219 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,543 Don't worry--I promise not to blow your cover. 220 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:56,944 I'll just be your roommate. 221 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,145 Your older roommate. 222 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,547 Who I found on Craigslist. 223 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,681 Craigslist? 224 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,049 Why are you hanging out with me? 225 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,551 'Cause you're cool. 226 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,553 You're my cool older roommate I found on Craigslist. 227 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:06,887 I am cool. 228 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,255 I lived in Williamsburg before it's all 229 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,790 rich kids on unicycles. 230 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,325 I was your coolest friend, remember? 231 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,695 You were the one-- the housewife from New Jersey 232 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,997 who went to book club and drank Tequila Mockingbirds. 233 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,465 That is a delicious cocktail. 234 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,267 And that book club helped me impress my publisher today, 235 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,869 so I'm grateful to them. 236 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,171 Yeah, we should've thrown back a couple of cocktails, 237 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,673 'cause this is gonna be rough. 238 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,575 I mean, we might be the only people there. 239 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,814 Wow. 240 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,585 - Mm. 241 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:48,696 * 242 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,436 I can't tell. Is this good? 243 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,437 No. 244 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,672 You know, this is so depressing. 245 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,107 My first show-- the only people that came 246 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,675 were my mom and my psycho ex-girlfriend 247 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,844 and Phil, the gallery owner, who's standing over there. 248 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,979 Look at him. Look at him. He's smiling. He never smiles. 249 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,848 He shouldn't. His gums are too big. 250 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,017 Almost 20 years married to a dentist. 251 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,719 - You notice. - No. 252 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,021 Oh, look--oh, there's Kelsey and her friends. 253 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,056 Oh, wow, it's like observing flamingos in nature-- 254 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,325 bright, colorful, and their heads all bent 255 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,993 at an uncomfortable angle. 256 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,461 Hey. 257 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,663 Hey. 258 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:23,864 Okay, here we go. 259 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,633 Remember--no references before 1990. 260 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,967 There goes all my material. 261 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,403 Hey! Hi. 262 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,239 You remember Lauren. This is Jess. 263 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,506 This exhibit's amazing. 264 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,175 Yeah, I'm definitely amazed. 265 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,544 Oh, this is my roommate, Maggie. 266 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:38,912 She's also repped by the gallery. 267 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,748 You're an artist too? That's cool. 268 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,917 Apparently not as cool as that guy 269 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,786 talking to Carol Vogel from the Times, 270 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,288 and bro-nodding to Don and Mera Rubell, 271 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,423 the biggest art collectors in the country. 272 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,725 Screw me sideways. 273 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,460 Oh, my God. That's the artist? 274 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,696 - I love a guy in a high bun. - Me too. Dibs. 275 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,765 - Yeah, he's way more my type. 276 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,332 Really? You're already in two 277 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,068 undefined relationships right now, so-- 278 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,770 Define "undefined." 279 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,972 Christ, I mean, it's like trying to talk to a loose balloon. 280 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,940 No, they can be focused-- when they're tweeting. 281 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,742 Yeah, I'm sure. You hang with the flamingos. 282 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,744 I'm gonna go try to schmooze Phil for two seconds. 283 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,612 - Okay. Okay. 284 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,551 I am ret to go. 285 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,887 Yeah, I'm done. 286 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,621 Can we blow off Craigslist Maggie 287 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,057 and go get a drink already? 288 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,393 One sec. 289 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,328 Hey, how goes the requisite schmoozing? 290 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,596 Phil can't seem to break away 291 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,264 from his hipster harem and talk to me. 292 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,499 I mean, my show's in a month 293 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,201 and not even a mention of my work. 294 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:35,669 He's gonna hear about this. 295 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,671 Are you sure you want to go Mad Maggie on Phil? 296 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,039 He's still sort of your boss. 297 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,541 Out of my control. I need to release the beast. 298 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:43,310 Okay, well, the girls want to go get a drink, 299 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,845 so do you want to meet us, or-- 300 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,413 I can't be with the girls right now, all right? 301 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,715 I got to talk to Phil. 302 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,516 If you want me to wait, I'll wait. 303 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,818 Just go. It's okay. 304 00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,920 Liza, let's go. 305 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,454 - All right. 306 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,056 I'll tell you where we are, okay? 307 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:07,200 Is Craigslist Maggie, like, your mentor or something? 308 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736 Why would she be her mentor? 309 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,738 Yeah, I don't know why else she would hang out with her. 310 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:14,141 It's just nice to have an older, wiser person around sometimes. 311 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:17,410 Oh, yes, yes. That is how I feel about Siri. 312 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,480 Siri, hey, what is sadness? 313 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,150 Oh, my God. 314 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,218 The Friends guy just texted me. 315 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:28,121 - No, Chandler Bing. 316 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,957 - Yes, the artist. - I called dibs on him, Jess. 317 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,424 You can't give your number to a guy 318 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,026 your friend called dibs on. 319 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,062 - That is girl code. - She's right. That's girl code. 320 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,629 Yeah, and from my understanding, 321 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,766 dibs is a binding verbal contract. 322 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,600 Fine, we will have a three-way. 323 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,102 That's your answer for everything. 324 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,337 Well, you claim to be 60% gay. 325 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,339 Not for you. 326 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,508 Hey, you know what? No more texting. 327 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,010 Cell stack. 328 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,947 I would like to make a toast 329 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,282 to Liza Miller, 330 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,950 the Goddess Cup Extractor. 331 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,220 Not afraid to just reach up in there, 332 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,289 bare-handed, like a mechanic. 333 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:05,158 Glad I put a gag order on that incident. 334 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,895 Sorry--it's kind of a big deal, though. 335 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,530 Welcome to the inner circle, Liza. 336 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,165 Friends for life. 337 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,569 For at least the next 13 years. 338 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,938 She's taking herself out at 39. 339 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,506 Mm-hmm, the beginning of the end, 340 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,074 when gravity starts winning. 341 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,475 And you have to buy a one-piece 342 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,944 because your abs start disappearing 343 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,378 under your giant foopa. 344 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,282 And your metabolism just shits the bed. 345 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,254 To strong women. 346 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,823 Ride or die. 347 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,624 Big booty hoes. 348 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,227 Salud. 349 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,461 Bitches! 350 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,341 - I'm gonna do two. - Yeah! 351 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,427 What's going on? I called you so many times. 352 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,596 I'm so sorry. I couldn't pick up my phone. 353 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,298 But I'm fine. 354 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,699 Whoa, did you barf? 355 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,068 No. 356 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,269 I went to a shawarma cart. 357 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:25,272 I was really drunk. I still kind of am. 358 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,974 But guess what. 359 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,209 I'm part of a crew now. 360 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,544 I have bitches, Maggie, and we rule. 361 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,246 How exciting for you. 362 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,282 I got into a huge fight with Phil. 363 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,483 Phil. 364 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,717 With his big, puffy smile. 365 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,252 A gum recontouring is what he needs. 366 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,889 I kept on pushing him to explain 367 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,357 why there is absolutely no mention of my show. 368 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,995 Kelsey and I, 369 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,330 we made a middle-aged murder pact. 370 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,465 We're gonna kill each other before we turn 40. 371 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,901 She just texted me-- 372 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,602 "Poison my Ensure." 373 00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,906 Who are you right now? 374 00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,373 What? No. 375 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:04,044 Are you Mad Maggie that I stayed out late with my crew? 376 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,479 Well, Phil cancelled my show 377 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:10,317 and dropped me from the gallery. 378 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,519 Have a great rest of your night, yo. 379 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,932 * I got drunk and fell asleep 380 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,333 * Atop the sheets 381 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,201 * But luckily I left the heater on * 382 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,470 * 383 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,972 * And in my dreams I wrote 384 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,007 * The best song that I've ever written * 385 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,409 * I can't remember how it goes * 386 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,678 * 387 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,480 * I stayed drunk and fell awake * 388 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,749 Hi. I made some coffee. 389 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,351 And I know you don't eat breakfast, 390 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,087 but if you're feeling hungrier than you are angry, 391 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,056 I have some toast here-- I could butter it up, 392 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,757 sprinkle on a little cinnamon and sugar. 393 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,325 It's like eating a hug. 394 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,462 I'm not hungry. 395 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,873 This came out good. 396 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,341 Wow, it's really beautiful, Maggie. 397 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,810 I won't be needing it anymore. I got dropped. 398 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,181 I'm never gonna find another gallery at this age. 399 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,249 I completely understand what you're going through. 400 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,051 No, you don't-- you're completely obsessed 401 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,519 with living this 26-year-old life. 402 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,854 Maggie, me passing as younger was your idea. 403 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,124 Yeah, to find a job, not a crew, 404 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,759 or some Tiger Beat cover of a boyfriend. 405 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,128 He's actually very mature. 406 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,997 - I needed that show, Liza. - I know. 407 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,498 Do you? Yeah, I don't know what you know 408 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,433 and what you've completely forgotten. 409 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,482 Ooh. 410 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,683 You look bad. 411 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,019 Why don't you? 412 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,421 I had a space cake and a melatonin before bed-- 413 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,922 best hangover cure. 414 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,290 Last night was so much fun. 415 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,392 Oh, my God, do that Cher impression again. 416 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,460 It was hilarious. 417 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,029 You were at the shawarma cart like, 418 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,664 * Chicken, lamb, or beef? * 419 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,733 I'm such a jerk. 420 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,269 Wait, what's wrong? 421 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,071 Maggie got dropped by the gallery. 422 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,339 And I wasn't there for her. 423 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,874 I was out annoying a hot meat vendor. 424 00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,377 Liza, she's just your roommate. 425 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,546 I mean, it's awful that she got dropped from the gallery, 426 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,814 but don't be so hard on yourself. 427 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,350 Liza. 428 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,686 Shut the door. 429 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:30,957 Is everything okay? 430 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,492 I'd say so. 431 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,860 The rumors are true. 432 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,128 Charles is getting divorced. 433 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,496 How do you know that? 434 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,465 His doorman is friends with my dog walker. 435 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,933 That's why it's important to stay down with the people. 436 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,469 Wow, divorce. That's rough. 437 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,304 So is dating in your 40s and inheriting 438 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,638 your grandmother's Welsh calves. 439 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,076 Yeah, but a divorce and going through it alone. 440 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,777 - I can't imagine. - Exactly. 441 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,812 He's gonna need someone to be there for him. 442 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,214 Yeah, he definitely will. 443 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,782 Someone to deal with how crazy he acts 444 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,084 and how selfish he becomes. 445 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:58,685 Someone to be the adult when he's being 446 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,087 totally irresponsible. 447 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,989 I'm hoping we can be irresponsible together. 448 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,257 What he probably needs 449 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,093 is someone supportive and grounded. 450 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,694 Or open and rebounding. 451 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,229 It's a tricky time. 452 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:14,701 Schedule me a wax appointment with Dorota. 453 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,104 Uptown and downtown. 454 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,807 Do you know what I mean when I say "downtown"? 455 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,242 You do. Okay. Okay. 456 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,513 Maggie's my friend. 457 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,481 I mean, technically, she's my roommate, yes. 458 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,982 But she's also my friend. 459 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,952 She's been there for me when no one else has. 460 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,221 Well, if she's your girl, 461 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,755 then you got to figure out a way to help her. 462 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,624 I'd love to find someone to beat up Phil, 463 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,192 the gallery owner. 464 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,827 I think I could do it, but I don't want to get caught. 465 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,130 We'll come up with something a little less gangster. 466 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,397 Oh, you don't have to get involved. 467 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,698 Of course I do-- if you're close 468 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,934 with Craigslist Maggie, then so am I. 469 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,270 It's girl code. 470 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,771 Well, she has all this great work 471 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,406 and nowhere to show it. 472 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,475 Maybe I could find her a new gallery. 473 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,377 I might actually have something. 474 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,911 Could you get her downtown after work? 475 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,148 Downtown? I can't even get her to answer her phone. 476 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,049 I don't know how I'm gonna get her downtown. 477 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,585 Sorry. 478 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,160 I have an idea. 479 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:32,011 * 480 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,346 What the hell are you doing? 481 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,215 Trying to win you back. 482 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,550 Maggie, without you, I'd be back in Jersey, 483 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,186 drinking Bridget Jones's Daiquiris 484 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,820 with my book club. 485 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,589 I owe you my life, 486 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,957 my annoying, 26-year-old life. 487 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,559 * 488 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,528 I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you last night. 489 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,063 I've been completely caught up in these new relationships-- 490 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,299 I know it. 491 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,201 It's hard to make new friends. 492 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,336 It's harder to lose old ones. 493 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,706 Well, technically, you're old too. 494 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,274 * 495 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,675 And you're not losing me. 496 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,811 * 497 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,879 I can't believe you Pretty Woman-ed me. 498 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,315 I can't believe I'm Richard Gere 499 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,749 and you're Julia Roberts. 500 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,784 I always thought it'd be the other way around. 501 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,521 Come down here. I have a surprise. 502 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,723 All right. All right. Give me a minute. 503 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,392 * 504 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,274 What is this place? 505 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,108 You'll see. 506 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,645 Hey, guys. Come on in. 507 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,680 Is Phil tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth? 508 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,081 No, that's already been vetoed. 509 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,483 Oh. 510 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:52,259 Lights, lights, smoke machine. 511 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,426 Drag queen. 512 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,262 Some cheap wine, little plastic cups, 513 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,264 and voila. 514 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,798 Welcome to your pop-up gallery. 515 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,533 See, you don't need Phil's gallery. 516 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,502 You just need a space where you can show your work. 517 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,004 And our combined 7,000 Facebook friends. 518 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,639 How did you find this place? 519 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,508 Oh, I went to school with this dude, Teddy Wong. 520 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:09,909 His parents own the building. 521 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,111 Anyway, I bring him weed and he lets me use the space 522 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,446 for parties or when I'm buying stuff 523 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,214 from weird people off Craigslist. 524 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,284 - No offense. - None taken. 525 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,918 Maggie, I looked up your work on Artnet, 526 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,621 and it deserves to be someplace really special. 527 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,791 I love it. I can't believe you guys did this for me. 528 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,759 Any friend of Liza's. Come on. 529 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,395 Not just any friend. 530 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,062 My oldest friend. 531 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,298 Yes, your oldest friend. 532 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,801 - Yay! - Thanks, you guys. 533 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,736 Yay!