1
00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:13,167
This is the last time

2
00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:14,700
I spend good money
on a new mattress.

3
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,167
They weren't even
in the apartment,

4
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:17,233
just the building.

5
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:18,267
Are you sure
that you--

6
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,433
We shared a wall
with bedbugs!

7
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:20,900
They're too small.

8
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:22,433
By the time you know
you have them, it's too late.

9
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:24,000
Did you hear
about that guy?

10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,667
He started with all the itching,
and then he got an infection--

11
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,000
Right, and then he had
his hand cut off.

12
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,267
You heard that story?

13
00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:29,400
Yes, but it's
an urban myth.

14
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,400
But I agree.
I agree.

15
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,633
Don't take any chances.

16
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:33,433
The exterminator comes
in one hour.

17
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,500
I am going to stay
at my cousin's in Riverdale.

18
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,633
When she steals
her kids' Ritalin,

19
00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,000
she's really fun.

20
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,600
So I'll see you kids
in two days.

21
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,600
Good luck.

22
00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:43,367
Ugh!

23
00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:45,300
Oh, you're looking at me
like I have cooties.

24
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:46,500
You don't, do you?

25
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,400
No, the bedbugs were
most definitely

26
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,533
not in our apartment.

27
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:50,800
I am completely
bedbug free.

28
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,667
Well, we'll see
about that.

29
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,867
I'm gonna have to do a thorough
physical examination.

30
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:57,233
Are you sure your roommates
won't mind if I stay?

31
00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:59,100
No, of course not.
They love you.

32
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,767
But you should probably take
a really hot shower

33
00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,367
and shave off all your body hair
before you come over.

34
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,067
All of it.

35
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,067
You wish.

36
00:01:09,267 --> 00:01:10,933
- I'm serious.
- Come on, dude.

37
00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:20,133
* Running, running, running,
running, running behind *

38
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:22,167
* Yeah, I'm always
really running behind, yo *

39
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:24,133
* Running, running, running,
running, running behind *

40
00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:26,433
* Yeah, I'm always
really running behind, yo *

41
00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:30,667
*

42
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,400
How did this happen?

43
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,700
Joanne from
my book clu--uh, the--

44
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:44,933
I mean,
that suburban book club

45
00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,467
must have started
a campaign.

46
00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:47,967
There's, like,
over 100 of these.

47
00:01:47,967 --> 00:01:49,900
Liza, do you realize
what you've done?

48
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,667
This is real.

49
00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:53,367
We have to tell Charles.

50
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,933
So I need those PPBs
on my desk

51
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,267
by the end of the week.

52
00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,733
That's all I have.
Any other business?

53
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:03,667
As a matter of fact,
our very own Liza Miller

54
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,600
found a book in the slush pile,

55
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,933
and it's suddenly getting
a lot of attention.

56
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:09,100
Really?

57
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,067
How's that?

58
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,433
Well...

59
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,867
this book
is incredible.

60
00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:17,533
It's an epic,
multigenerational tale

61
00:02:17,533 --> 00:02:18,667
of this Southern family.

62
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:19,900
I had an inkling
it might play well

63
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,500
in the suburban
book club crowd,

64
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,900
so I sent it to one.

65
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:26,167
After we agreed
upon that strategy.

66
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:27,433
E-exactly.

67
00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:29,367
I feel it's always good
to keep a finger

68
00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,067
on the suburban pulse.

69
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,367
Yes, she does.

70
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,667
Anyway,

71
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,633
as it turns out,
they loved it.

72
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,100
They raved about it
on Goodreads,

73
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,800
and then other suburban
book clubs started to read it,

74
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,100
and now there's actually
a campaign

75
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,633
to get us to publish it.

76
00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:43,967
The book is called
The Scarf,

77
00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:45,533
and people have been
sending in their scarves

78
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,833
all morning.

79
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,100
I, uh--I'm impressed.

80
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,133
Get me a copy.

81
00:02:52,133 --> 00:02:53,533
I'll read it tonight.

82
00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:56,133
And we will talk
in the morning.

83
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:57,333
Nice job, Liza.

84
00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,100
And me.

85
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,600
Since when do you read books
from the slush pile?

86
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,533
Um, I told you I was.

87
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,800
I thought you were joking.

88
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,300
And what on Earth
made you think

89
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,467
it was appropriate
to go to Charles directly?

90
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:16,067
You girls in your 20s
have absolutely no boundaries.

91
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:17,300
I'm sorry.

92
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,567
"I'm sorry"
doesn't fix anything.

93
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,767
Get me a copy ASAP.

94
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,600
And clean up
those damn scarves.

95
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,133
Cubicle looks like
a Stevie Nicks estate sale.

96
00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:28,433
Well, that can't be good.

97
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:29,900
No, no, no, no.

98
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:32,100
We are not gonna let her
kill this buzz.

99
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,867
We're gonna go out
and celebrate tonight.

100
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:36,667
Thad and I will take
Josh and you out to dinner.

101
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,067
Oh, no, no,
you don't have to do that.

102
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,500
Yeah, we do.

103
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:42,133
It's about time we have
a proper double date anyway.

104
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:53,133
A toast to my friend
and mentee

105
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,533
Liza Miller.

106
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,067
- Yeah, that's not a word.

107
00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:57,767
Absolutely not a word.

108
00:03:57,767 --> 00:04:00,733
To a long and successful
editorial career.

109
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:01,800
You know what?

110
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,167
It's only a matter of time

111
00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:05,167
before she and I
are running Empirical together.

112
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:07,167
Oh, guys, look!

113
00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,967
The placemats list
the relationship compatibility

114
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,067
of all the signs
on the Chinese zodiac.

115
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:13,200
Uh-oh.

116
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,700
Let's see if we're
compatible, huh?

117
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,467
I am the Year
of the Horse.

118
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:18,067
Yeah, that's what I heard.

119
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:20,733
And you're the Year
of the Dragon.

120
00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:23,600
Oh, no,
it's not a good match.

121
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:24,733
No, no, no,
we are a good match.

122
00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:26,433
I'm the Year of the Ti...

123
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:30,100
phoid scare of 1988,
which also

124
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,833
happens to be
the Year of the Dragon.

125
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:32,933
So yup.

126
00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:34,500
Oh, wow, look.
Yup, it's true.

127
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,833
We're horrible,
terrible.

128
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,533
Oh, we're the worst match.
Oh, wow.

129
00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:38,900
What you gonna do?

130
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,067
I don't care about
what this placemat says.

131
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,500
I've always had a thing
for dragons.

132
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,933
By the way,
just for the record,

133
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:47,200
the snake really goes
with the rabbit.

134
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,567
Hey, just like that thing
you keep by your bed.

135
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,200
What? You were talking
about his dong.

136
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,233
Why can't I talk
about your vibrator?

137
00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:56,633
To Kelsey's vibrator.

138
00:04:56,633 --> 00:04:58,600
To Kelsey's vibrator.

139
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,067
Yay!
Oh, come on, Kelsey.

140
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,467
You got to give it up
for that.

141
00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:04,967
Okay, guys, night-night.

142
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:06,667
Don't you let
the bedbugs--

143
00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,067
Stop.
Don't remind me.

144
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,833
Yo, thanks for coming
to Brooklyn.

145
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,233
- Good night, you guys.
- See you next time.

146
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:14,600
Hey, can we not mention

147
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,900
the whole bedbug thing
to my roommates?

148
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,733
They may not know how
to clean a toilet,

149
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,633
but they will freak out
about those little suckers.

150
00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:23,133
Of course.

151
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,433
Hey, did you get your
bedroom door fixed yet?

152
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,567
Yes, I fixed it yesterday.

153
00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:29,067
Oh, thank god.

154
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,500
I was afraid I wasn't going
to get any sleep.

155
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,633
You still may not get
any sleep.

156
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:33,800
Mm.

157
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,067
Dude, no, no, no.

158
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,333
No, no, behind your back.

159
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:38,667
The guy with the machete.
Come on, man!

160
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:39,733
- Oh!
- Ooh!

161
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,167
- Wow.
- Jesus.

162
00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:46,633
Yo, what are
you guys doing?

163
00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:48,633
- Hey!
- Hey!

164
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:49,933
What's up, man?

165
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,467
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

166
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:54,067
- It's good to see you, bro.

167
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:55,567
Yeah, we got bored
with Philly,

168
00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:57,933
so we decided to drive up here
the last minute and...

169
00:05:57,933 --> 00:05:58,933
- Crash.
- Just crash.

170
00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:00,500
Nice. That's great.

171
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,600
Oh, and who
do we have here?

172
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,067
This is Liza.

173
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:06,733
This is Jimmy Z.
This is Ryan.

174
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,067
They used to live
in the neighborhood.

175
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,233
Nice to meet you,
girl.

176
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:11,467
Yo, that's good.

177
00:06:11,467 --> 00:06:13,200
So is this
your new girlfriend?

178
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,567
Uh...

179
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:19,067
I--we're...
hanging out?

180
00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:20,433
Right?

181
00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:21,800
- Yeah.

182
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,833
Yeah, okay.

183
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,567
Uh, even though, according
to the Chinese zodiac,

184
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:27,633
we're not even compatible.

185
00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:28,833
I know, right?

186
00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:30,967
What you gonna do?

187
00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:34,133
I'm gonna--I'm gonna--

188
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:36,400
I'm just gonna--

189
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:41,800
Okay, there's a situation
in that toilet.

190
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,533
Serious

191
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:46,067
Come on, du--
whose is it?

192
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:47,967
Gabe was there last.

193
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,533
No, Roman went in after me.

194
00:06:49,533 --> 00:06:51,167
I did not!
What?

195
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:53,367
Okay, it was me.

196
00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,633
I tried flushing three times.
It wouldn't go down.

197
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,067
I'm not a toilet wizard!

198
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,200
You plunge, bro,
all right?

199
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,567
You plunge.

200
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:01,800
I'm gonna go use

201
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,933
the restaurant bathroom
downstairs.

202
00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,067
That is a great idea.

203
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,533
Oh, hey, hey,
will you pick up

204
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,967
a roll of toilet paper
while you're down there?

205
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,500
Yeah, and Imodium
for my diarrhea, please.

206
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,733
I'll do the best I can.

207
00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:12,500
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

208
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,200
Yo, that--that wasn't
that weird, right?

209
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,800
The whole girlfriend thing?

210
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:18,867
No, that was
totally weird, dude.

211
00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:20,267
Yeah, it was--

212
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,167
You could not be
more screwed, bro, yeah.

213
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,467
Coffee.

214
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,400
Oh, my god.

215
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,933
You look so tired.

216
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,100
Ugh. I know.

217
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,533
Late night with Josh?

218
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:54,700
Not in a good way.

219
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,067
His friends
drove up from Philly

220
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:58,767
to vape weed
and play videogames very loudly.

221
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:00,933
I don't know I'm gonna
stay there another night.

222
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,233
Stay with Lauren and me.

223
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,267
- Yeah.

224
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:05,367
I'm sure it'll be
all right.

225
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:07,067
Oh, my god,
that would be amazing.

226
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,100
Thank you so much.

227
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,400
Liza.

228
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,133
I took a look
at The Scarf,

229
00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:14,300
and I found it
very readable.

230
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,333
Really?
Oh, I'm so glad.

231
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:17,367
Good eye.

232
00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:18,633
Kelsey, you have
my permission

233
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,533
to contact the author
and make an offer.

234
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,900
Excellent.

235
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,367
So the question becomes,

236
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:30,900
when did Lear's madness
actually begin?

237
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:33,900
Was it after the entrance
of Edgar?

238
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,067
Put your cell phones away,

239
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:41,467
or I will cut your thumbs off.

240
00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:47,067
Hello?

241
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,300
Meredith?

242
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,600
Yes.

243
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,067
- This is Liza Miller.
- And Kelsey Peters.

244
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,467
We're calling
from Empirical Press,

245
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:55,100
and we have some
very good news for you.

246
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,200
We have read your copy
of The Scarf

247
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,567
that you submitted,

248
00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,333
and we would like
to make you an offer.

249
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,233
If you pull another stunt
like this, Cece,

250
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,567
I will see you in hell.

251
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,567
No, wait, this isn't Cece.

252
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,700
This really is Liza Miller
from Empirical Press,

253
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,067
and we really do want
to publish your book.

254
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,133
Seriously?
- Yes, seriously.

255
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,900
We would love to meet
with you in person.

256
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,167
How soon can you come in?

257
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:17,233
Uh...where are you?

258
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,667
We're Midtown.

259
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,067
Uh, I'm in Yonkers.

260
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,500
How about an hour?

261
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,067
That's great.
See you then.

262
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,967
Whoo!

263
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,667
Somebody wants
to publish my novel.

264
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,467
Roll that in your Shakespeare
and smoke it.

265
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:38,067
These stories were
passed down in my family

266
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,933
from generation
to generation.

267
00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:41,233
I always wanted
to write it,

268
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,400
but then I got married.

269
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,900
I got a job
as a teacher.

270
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,933
And between grading papers
and raising four kids,

271
00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:48,400
there was no time to write.

272
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:52,133
Yet I was determined
this story must be told,

273
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,300
so I set aside
one hour a day

274
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,867
between midnight
and 1:00 a.m.

275
00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,900
That was all I could do,
but I did it!

276
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,300
Every day.

277
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,300
It took 12 long years,
but, by God, I finished it.

278
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,700
Can I just say
you are my new hero?

279
00:10:09,933 --> 00:10:11,333
In my humble opinion,

280
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:13,100
you could be
the next Kathryn Stockett.

281
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,167
I mean, this could be
another sleeper hit,

282
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,300
just like The Help.

283
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:19,633
Well, that all works
for me.

284
00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:26,967
That is the best feeling
in the world.

285
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,933
Every once in a while,
we get reminded

286
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,567
that what we do
is pretty magical.

287
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,767
I don't know what I'm more
excited about at this point:

288
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,067
making that woman's life
or getting a good night's sleep.

289
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,367
Are you sure it's okay

290
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,333
that I stay the night
with you guys?

291
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,967
It's okay.
I checked.

292
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:42,300
And you are going to love
Todd and Denise.

293
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,367
Who are Todd and Denise?

294
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,700
- Hey!
- Hi, sweetheart.

295
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,467
- Hello.
- Hi, welcome.

296
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:48,000
- Come on up, honey.
- Come on up.

297
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,733
Get up here.

298
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,133
Wow, you live
with Lauren's parents?

299
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,400
Did I not mention that?

300
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,867
Come on.

301
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,233
Get on up here. Come on.

302
00:10:57,233 --> 00:10:59,133
It's my second daughter.
Look at her.

303
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:00,833
- Hi, honey.
- You need a better coat.

304
00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,067
- Get up here!
- Come on.

305
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,267
It's so great
to finally meet you.

306
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:07,433
This is where we live.
I design jewelry.

307
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,633
Todd has a small hedge fund.

308
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:11,133
Small?
It's not that small.

309
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:13,300
It is not small,
and I can attest to that.

310
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,567
So happy you're here.

311
00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:15,733
I feel like

312
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:17,433
I'm running some cool
sorority house.

313
00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:18,700
You can stay
as long as you want.

314
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:19,800
I mean, ask her.

315
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,167
No, it's good.
I don't mind.

316
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,200
I love being a den mother.

317
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,567
We'll get her towels.

318
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,800
All right, yours are
the pink towels, all right?

319
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,833
Don't use the wrong color.

320
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,367
Rosa gets furious.

321
00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:30,133
Rosa.

322
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,767
How long have you been living
with Lauren's parents?

323
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,200
Um, two years?

324
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,800
Two years?

325
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,400
Well, it started out
we were just gonna stay

326
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,800
until we found a place.

327
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,067
But then we realized
we're never gonna be able

328
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,900
to live in Manhattan
with our salaries.

329
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:46,167
Rosa does
all of our laundry.

330
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:49,067
Denise is like the Jewish
mother that I never had.

331
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:53,600
And the alternative is,
well, bedbugs.

332
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,833
Don't make me
unleash them on you.

333
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,067
I am their queen now.

334
00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:59,233
Oh, The Scarf!

335
00:11:59,233 --> 00:12:00,567
I can't wait
to read this.

336
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,067
I'm gonna give it
to my friend

337
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,533
on the Real Housewives
of New York.

338
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,133
- She won't read it.

339
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,200
I mean, she doesn't really
read or see peripheral

340
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,533
since her last eye tuck.

341
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:10,767
But she can hold it up
on camera.

342
00:12:10,767 --> 00:12:11,800
Oh, my god.

343
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,067
That would be amazing.

344
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,167
Right?

345
00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:17,067
Josh.

346
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,100
Junk shot?

347
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,600
Well, I want
to see.

348
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,100
Oh, that is his idea
of sexting?

349
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,933
- Not usually.

350
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:24,933
Piece of poop.

351
00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,400
Ew.

352
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,100
Wait, wait, are you into that?
No judgment.

353
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,367
No.

354
00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:31,433
No, it was
an inside joke thing.

355
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:32,767
There was, like, a--

356
00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:34,400
Ah, never mind.

357
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,867
Okay, you're all red.

358
00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:37,567
Is Josh your boyfriend?

359
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:38,433
Uh...

360
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:40,900
we're hanging out.

361
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,367
Hanging out?
Oh, god.

362
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:43,600
What is it with--

363
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,300
hanging out is not
a thing, okay?

364
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,700
What is it
with you girls?

365
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,100
It's like Tinder this,
Snapchat that.

366
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,067
The world is not
one big booty call.

367
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,367
And they're great
together.

368
00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,600
I keep telling her
she needs to lock it down.

369
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,267
And I keep telling her
she doesn't.

370
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:58,767
Yeah, and don't listen to her.

371
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,833
She will sleep with anything
that moves, right?

372
00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:02,133
Male, female,

373
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,633
trans, amphibian...

374
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:05,933
That's what
we should all be doing.

375
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,533
The world would be
a far better place

376
00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:09,067
if everyone was polyamorous,

377
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:10,500
you and dad included.

378
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,067
Oh, please don't put
that vision in my head,

379
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:13,300
all right?

380
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,367
It's bad enough
I have to picture him

381
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,400
having sex with me.

382
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,667
Look, I'm in no rush.

383
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:18,100
And I have
absolutely no interest

384
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,433
in pressuring Josh.

385
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:21,833
Okay, then.
Don't answer that text.

386
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,067
Right?

387
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:24,100
Let him chase you.

388
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,533
Men love the chase.

389
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:27,467
Promise me you're not gonna
answer that text

390
00:13:27,467 --> 00:13:28,633
till tomorrow morning.

391
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,300
You're right.
I won't.

392
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,433
I am absolutely
not answering that text.

393
00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:33,433
- Of course.

394
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:34,900
I don't believe you.

395
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,867
- Oh.
- Oh, sorry.

396
00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:02,933
She has you in here?

397
00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,067
Uh, yeah.

398
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:06,533
Okay.

399
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,433
- Yup.

400
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:09,500
Not too warm?

401
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,800
I will--I can open
the window.

402
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,600
- You want met to--
- No, just fine.

403
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,533
Okay.

404
00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:17,367
Do you need any water
or anything?

405
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:18,400
Water...

406
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,633
No, I'm good.

407
00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:22,400
Almond milk, soy milk,
something like that?

408
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,833
No, thank you.

409
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:29,167
Well, I'll be right next door
if you need anything,

410
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,167
anything at all.

411
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:31,300
Okey-dokey.

412
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,767
Well, text from Lauren.

413
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:43,833
Denise loved you,

414
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,567
and Todd says
come back any time.

415
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:47,933
That's--that's so nice.

416
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,133
Oh, how cute.

417
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:50,800
Did you two
walk to work together?

418
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,167
Actually, we had
a slumber party.

419
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,633
- Funny story--
- No time.

420
00:14:54,633 --> 00:14:57,233
We have a meeting scheduled
with Meredith Montgomery.

421
00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:59,067
Oh, wait.
When?

422
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,667
Now. I set it up.

423
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,533
Maybe you forgot.

424
00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:04,633
I still run
the marketing department.

425
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,200
Oh, you must be Meredith.

426
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,233
Diana Trout.

427
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,367
You wanted me
in on this?

428
00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:16,367
Oh, yes,
this is our publisher,

429
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,367
Charles Brooks.

430
00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,067
I loved your book.

431
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:20,333
I think we're going to have
a big success on our hands.

432
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,933
Thank you.

433
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:24,233
Yes, The Scarf
is a compelling read.

434
00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:26,500
But it was more compelling

435
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,233
the first time
it was published,

436
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:30,767
as The Babushka.

437
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,433
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.

438
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,500
What are you
talking about?

439
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,567
The Babushka
by Anna Cleveman Daniels,

440
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:42,067
a little-read book
written back in the '80s

441
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,233
about a Jewish family

442
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,733
chronicling their
five generations

443
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:47,367
and the babushka
they passed down.

444
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,100
I haven't heard
of that book, so...

445
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,633
Oh, really?

446
00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:55,667
Perhaps I can refresh
your memory.

447
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:57,300
"The severity often differs,

448
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,767
"even the location
of the wound.

449
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:01,233
"But what's never changed
is the fact

450
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,767
"that he was
a Russian Cossack.

451
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:06,300
"And my grandfather,
the boy who saved his life,

452
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,400
was the shtetl bugler."

453
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,900
Oh, my god.

454
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,300
That's the same
first line,

455
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,667
only more ethnic.

456
00:16:15,567 --> 00:16:16,633
Shall I continue?

457
00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:18,167
Do you mean
the whole thing is--

458
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:22,067
A total rip-off.
The story's exactly the same.

459
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,200
Is this true?

460
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,867
Uh, well, I, um...

461
00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:27,467
uh...

462
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,267
Oh, all right, you know what?

463
00:16:30,267 --> 00:16:31,500
I'm sorry.

464
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,433
I was desperate.

465
00:16:33,433 --> 00:16:35,433
I have written 13 novels.

466
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:38,300
I have tried every genre
under the Sun:

467
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:41,067
fairy tales, romance,
vampire porn.

468
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:44,100
And then I just happened upon
a box with some old books

469
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,633
in a storage closet
in the school library,

470
00:16:46,633 --> 00:16:48,700
and there it was.

471
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:51,300
The Babushka.

472
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:54,167
It has been out of print
for years.

473
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:57,600
So I thought if I put
my own family history in it,

474
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,933
doesn't that count
for something?

475
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,467
We can't make a deal

476
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:03,167
on a book
that's been plagiarized.

477
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:06,600
Liza
How'd this happen?

478
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,067
We used all the normal
search protocols.

479
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:11,167
Well, thankfully,
I dug deeper.

480
00:17:12,467 --> 00:17:14,467
This could have been
a problem.

481
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,433
So, Diana,
I am thankful.

482
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:20,667
Well, you're welcome,
Charles.

483
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,433
I apologize for letting
my assistant

484
00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:26,667
get off her leash
like that.

485
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:27,800
- I am so--
- Shh! Quiet.

486
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,167
Better luck next time.

487
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:33,867
Well, I think
we're done here.

488
00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,100
Cancel her car service.

489
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,800
I'll be in my office
if you need me.

490
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,733
I'm sorry.

491
00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:45,900
It's just, you start to lie,

492
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,067
and then slowly but surely,

493
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,533
it takes on
a life of its own.

494
00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:52,133
It's like you almost begin
to believe it.

495
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:56,067
I wouldn't expect you
to understand.

496
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:59,200
I understand
more than you could know.

497
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,333
Was she serious
about the car service?

498
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,200
I'm afraid so.

499
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,733
Oh, shit.

500
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,967
- Hey.
- Hey.

501
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,333
Welcome home,
roomie.

502
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,567
Aw.

503
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:17,633
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.

504
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:19,500
No, I really missed you.

505
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,867
My cousin,
she has sleep apnea,

506
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,467
and she snores
like a dying bear.

507
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,100
Please, Josh had
clogged toilets

508
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,867
in that frat house
he calls an apartment,

509
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:29,067
and Lauren's dad
totally creeped me out.

510
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,567
Okay, you win.
All right.

511
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,567
Here, let's make a toast
to a bedbug-less existence.

512
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,567
Aw, at least I have that.

513
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:36,767
What happened?

514
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,967
It was a tough day at work.

515
00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:40,567
That author I thought
I discovered?

516
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,533
Turns out
she's a total fraud.

517
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:43,633
Are you kidding me?

518
00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,567
Nope, plagiarized
the entire book.

519
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:47,267
The Scarf
totally unraveled.

520
00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,500
Bad pun intended.

521
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,533
Oh, my god,
I'm so sorry, sweetie.

522
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:53,067
Yeah, well,
as disappointing as it is

523
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,733
to realize you've been
championing a fraud,

524
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,567
it's even tougher to realize
you are one.

525
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,467
Oh, come on, now.
Don't be so hard on yourself.

526
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,767
It's not like your lie
is hurting anybody.

527
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,467
I'm not so sure about that.

528
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,800
What?

529
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,467
Hey, come down here!

530
00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:13,900
We're at the bar next door.

531
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,733
We're gonna help you
liquor your wounds.

532
00:19:17,267 --> 00:19:18,433
Okay.

533
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,067
- Ugh!
- Hey.

534
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:29,900
I am so sorry.
Come here.

535
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:33,400
Hey, your eye was good.

536
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,133
And you're gonna get
another book.

537
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,133
I ordered 14 different kinds
of tequila.

538
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,533
So nice knowing you guys.

539
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,267
I'm sorry you got lied to.

540
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:44,900
Totally sucks.

541
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:48,467
Hey, um...

542
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:50,067
I have to tell you
something.

543
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,600
That's funny, because I have
something to tell you too.

544
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,833
- I need to go first.
- No, just let me go first.

545
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,367
- Josh--

546
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:56,867
It's been bugging me
for two days.

547
00:19:56,867 --> 00:20:00,900
The truth is, is I think
that we're doing

548
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,800
a little bit more
than just hanging out,

549
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,267
all right?

550
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:09,067
I--I've never really been
much for words.

551
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:13,233
I'm more of a man
of symbols.

552
00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:14,667
Oh.

553
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,200
That's nice.

554
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,600
It's you.

555
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,700
It's me?

556
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,400
Yeah, it's a dragon.

557
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,133
Oh, my god,
it's for your birth year.

558
00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,400
Oh, my god.

559
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,633
What do you think?

560
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,633
I'm...

561
00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:29,400
sp-speechless.

562
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,900
* Oh, why can't you be
happy with me? *

563
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:33,467
* Every day
we are running round *

564
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:34,933
* trapped in our seat

565
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:37,800
* Oh, why can't you be
happy with me? *