1
00:00:26,823 --> 00:00:28,784
Okay. Happy birthday, mom.

2
00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:30,452
Oh, is that for me?

3
00:00:30,536 --> 00:00:32,621
You don't look 40, much less 50.

4
00:00:32,704 --> 00:00:35,332
Charlie, please.
But thank you. I appreciate it.

5
00:00:35,415 --> 00:00:37,584
- Can I open this now?
- Yes, open it.

6
00:00:37,668 --> 00:00:39,586
Oh, my goodness.

7
00:00:41,213 --> 00:00:43,382
Oh. Oh, I love it.

8
00:00:43,465 --> 00:00:46,385
- Do you like it? Oh, good.
- It's so beautiful.

9
00:00:46,468 --> 00:00:48,679
- You can exchange it.
- I'm not going to.

10
00:00:48,762 --> 00:00:51,139
- You always get me things I love.
- Good.

11
00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,476
- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, hey. Hey, isn't Lisa coming?

12
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,103
No. We split up.

13
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,481
Yes, I did notice your status
popped up to single, yet again.

14
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:03,986
I, uh, forgot your present.
I left it in my locker.

15
00:01:04,069 --> 00:01:06,989
That's okay.
I hope you didn't spend too much.

16
00:01:07,072 --> 00:01:09,992
- No, don't worry. He didn't.
- Where have you been?

17
00:01:10,075 --> 00:01:13,370
The er was like a madhouse.
One guy came in, six stab wounds.

18
00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:17,124
- One missed his heart by an inch.
- No. Tom, it's dinnertime. Please.

19
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,209
- Not yet it isn't.
- Nearly.

20
00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:23,213
- What kind of antibiotic did you give him?
- Mom, have you spoken to Lydia?

21
00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:27,217
She wanted to be here,
but she had a really important audition.

22
00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:30,971
- What for?
- A guest spot on some TV thing.

23
00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:33,765
- Something enemy.
- Maybe this'll be her big break.

24
00:01:33,849 --> 00:01:37,144
- Mm-hm. Yeah, maybe.
- Don't hold your breath.

25
00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:39,980
Stop it.

26
00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:42,774
You guys must have
been something growing up.

27
00:01:42,858 --> 00:01:44,151
Dolls with heads cut off.

28
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,445
No, my sister and I were very close.

29
00:01:46,528 --> 00:01:49,531
Oh, no. I'm sorry,
I was talking about Anna and Lydia.

30
00:01:49,615 --> 00:01:52,534
Oh. My goodness.
I don't know why I said that.

31
00:01:52,618 --> 00:01:55,787
We're here to celebrate you, mom.
Dad, what about a toast?

32
00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:57,456
Dad.

33
00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:59,291
-Toast.

34
00:01:59,374 --> 00:02:01,168
Yes, yes, yes.

35
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:05,589
To the most beautiful
and the most intelligent woman

36
00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:09,551
- I have known in my entire life.
- Thank you.

37
00:02:09,635 --> 00:02:12,012
- Happy birthday.
- Cheers! Happy birthday!

38
00:02:12,095 --> 00:02:13,555
- We love you.
- I love you too.

39
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,223
- Cheers.
- Cheers, darling.

40
00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:25,984
My name is Frederick Johnson.

41
00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,196
I'm associate professor
of cognitive science here at ucla.

42
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,699
I'm here to welcome our speaker
who just flew in from New York.

43
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:36,411
Now, in my dissertation,
I spent about a chapter and a half

44
00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:40,582
vituperatively citing today's guest
and saying why she was wrong.

45
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:46,838
For the record, every time that Alice
and I have argued, she was right.

46
00:02:46,922 --> 00:02:50,300
Alice howland is the Lillian young
professor of linguistics

47
00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:54,137
at Columbia university.
She famously wrote her seminal textbook,

48
00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:57,182
from neurons to nouns,
while raising three children.

49
00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:59,851
I'm getting more
than a few "aha" moments from them.

50
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:03,188
And it is now considered
one of the cornerstones

51
00:03:03,271 --> 00:03:05,899
of linguistics education
all over the world.

52
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:10,153
Please, welcome Dr. Alice howland.

53
00:03:14,282 --> 00:03:16,702
Thank you so much.

54
00:03:17,786 --> 00:03:21,790
Most children speak
and understand their mother tongue

55
00:03:21,873 --> 00:03:25,252
before the age of 4,
without lessons, homework,

56
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,379
or much in the way of feedback.

57
00:03:27,462 --> 00:03:29,423
How do they accomplish this feat?

58
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:34,386
This is a question that has interested
scientists at least since Charles dan/vin

59
00:03:34,469 --> 00:03:37,889
kept a diary of the early language
of his infant son.

60
00:03:37,973 --> 00:03:41,309
He observed, "man has
an instinctive tendency to speak

61
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:44,312
as we see in the babble
of young children."

62
00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:46,565
Much has been learned since then.

63
00:03:46,648 --> 00:03:50,736
But today I'd like to focus
on some recent studies from my lab

64
00:03:50,819 --> 00:03:54,656
on the acquisition of past-tense
irregular verb forms in children

65
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,909
between the ages of 18 months
and two and a half years.

66
00:03:57,993 --> 00:04:00,203
Now, you may say that this fails

67
00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:03,415
into the academic tradition
of knowing more and more

68
00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:06,668
about less and less
until we know everything about nothing.

69
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:10,672
But I hope to convince you
that by observing these baby steps

70
00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:12,466
into the...

71
00:04:16,762 --> 00:04:18,472
Into, uh...

72
00:04:20,348 --> 00:04:23,769
I... I knew I shouldn't have had
that champagne.

73
00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:30,525
Into the word stock of a given language,

74
00:04:30,609 --> 00:04:32,861
we will learn crucial information

75
00:04:32,944 --> 00:04:36,156
about the relationship
between memory and computation

76
00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:40,619
that is the very essence of communication.

77
00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:49,252
Lexicon.

78
00:05:23,787 --> 00:05:26,039
I had that same thought.
Makes sense.

79
00:05:26,122 --> 00:05:29,209
- I saw it.
- Yeah, I thought about that.

80
00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:37,342
Okay. I'm gonna go down
and get shel. I'll be right back.

81
00:05:39,594 --> 00:05:40,929
- Hey.
- Hi.

82
00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,472
Hey, no, I'm sorry.

83
00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:44,683
You just caught me by surprise.

84
00:05:44,766 --> 00:05:46,184
Come on in. It's, um...

85
00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:50,313
It's messy, but, you know,
I was in the process of cleaning.

86
00:05:50,397 --> 00:05:52,107
It's fine, honey. Don't worry.

87
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:55,902
The boys are total slobs.
The kitchen is the main battleground,

88
00:05:55,986 --> 00:05:59,406
but I've got them in training,
so we'll see how that goes.

89
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:02,868
- So where are they?
- Working.

90
00:06:03,368 --> 00:06:06,037
Doug's at Starbucks,
Malcolm does some catering.

91
00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:08,999
I guess that's what they mean
by working actor, huh?

92
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:14,588
- You involved with either one?
- Uh, Doug's gay.

93
00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:18,675
And Malcolm and I did have a thing,
but it's over.

94
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,220
He got me in with open space.

95
00:06:22,304 --> 00:06:25,265
- It's, like, the best theater company.
- Yes, I heard.

96
00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:28,935
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm done.

97
00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:35,025
It would have been awesome
if you saw no exit.

98
00:06:35,108 --> 00:06:39,029
- Daddy said you were good.
- I was all right. It wasn't my best night,

99
00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:42,324
but at least he could get,
you know, like, a sense of it.

100
00:06:42,866 --> 00:06:45,160
Figure out why he's doing,

101
00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:47,871
you know, me a solid with the company.

102
00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,706
What do you mean?

103
00:06:49,789 --> 00:06:54,419
- Um, it's really nice of him to help out.
- How is he helping with the company?

104
00:06:54,502 --> 00:06:57,380
It's our responsibility
as members to raise equity

105
00:06:57,464 --> 00:06:58,840
for the productions we put on.

106
00:06:58,924 --> 00:07:01,134
Eventually we get a cut of the box office.

107
00:07:01,217 --> 00:07:03,553
And we're sort of shareholders.

108
00:07:03,637 --> 00:07:05,847
So basically you have to pay to act?

109
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:12,604
It's a theater group.
It's just the reality of the situation.

110
00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:14,773
That's how it is. It's Los Angeles.

111
00:07:14,856 --> 00:07:17,567
Don't you think it's time
you reconsidered things?

112
00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:21,488
You're so smart. There's much more
you could be doing with your life.

113
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,407
- Like going to college?
- Yes. Yes. Like college.

114
00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:28,745
Like we've never talked about that before.
Every single day of my life.

115
00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:33,500
I figured out what I wanted to do,
and I'm doing it. It's a good thing.

116
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:36,670
- But on whose dime?
- You're helping Tom with med school.

117
00:07:36,753 --> 00:07:41,424
- You helped Anna with law school.
- Sweetheart, those are real careers.

118
00:07:41,508 --> 00:07:43,927
I just don't want you
to limit your choices.

119
00:07:44,928 --> 00:07:47,639
- You want to make my choices.
- No, I don't.

120
00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:52,686
I'm really happy.

121
00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:56,189
I'm sorry. I don't...

122
00:07:57,232 --> 00:07:59,526
I don't wanna argue about this.

123
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,988
- Just forget I said anything, okay?
- It's forgotten.

124
00:08:04,531 --> 00:08:06,866
- Gonna check your phone?
- It's just a game.

125
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:10,120
Your sister and I have an obsession
with "words with friends."

126
00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:12,789
- That's cute.
- You don't wanna play with her,

127
00:08:12,872 --> 00:08:15,583
- she's a demon.
- I'm not surprised.

128
00:08:37,313 --> 00:08:39,149
John?

129
00:08:49,743 --> 00:08:51,411
John?

130
00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:48,718
Want one? Here you go.

131
00:09:48,802 --> 00:09:51,638
Two for one at the shoe warehouse.

132
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:54,516
Two for one, shoe warehouse.

133
00:09:55,391 --> 00:09:57,393
Two for one at the shoe warehouse.

134
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:49,571
So... I don't know.
That's all he said.

135
00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:54,617
Two for one
at the shoe warehouse. Here you go.

136
00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:03,168
- One?
- No, thanks.

137
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,628
Ali?

138
00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:10,925
- I was wondering where you were.
- Don't. I'm really sweaty.

139
00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:13,636
- Oh. How did it go?
- What?

140
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,639
- Ucla.
- Oh, it was, uh, good.

141
00:11:16,723 --> 00:11:17,974
They were, um...

142
00:11:18,057 --> 00:11:21,436
- They were really receptive.
- I'm sure they were.

143
00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:23,813
How was Lydia?

144
00:11:23,897 --> 00:11:26,524
Good. You know...

145
00:11:27,525 --> 00:11:29,903
- You guys argue?
- Um...

146
00:11:29,986 --> 00:11:34,616
Well, we spent
the whole evening trying not to.

147
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:41,039
The news that you're bankrolling
her theater company didn't help.

148
00:11:41,122 --> 00:11:43,208
- I told you about that.
- Mm-mm.

149
00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:45,585
- You didn't.
- I thought I did.

150
00:11:45,668 --> 00:11:48,671
- You didn't.
- You're not gonna like this either,

151
00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:50,882
but I have things to do at the lab.

152
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:55,053
- Maybe walk me over there right now?
- No, I don't wanna go back to campus.

153
00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:58,723
I just went for a run.
I really need to be home right now.

154
00:12:00,475 --> 00:12:03,561
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just...

155
00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:06,064
You said
we were gonna spend the evening in.

156
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,400
I did. We will. The sooner I go,
the sooner I'll be back,

157
00:12:09,484 --> 00:12:12,070
and we can watch a movie.

158
00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:15,365
I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted.

159
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,035
Get some rest.

160
00:12:19,118 --> 00:12:20,745
Relax.

161
00:12:31,005 --> 00:12:34,092
I started forgetting things,
little annoying things

162
00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:35,718
like words and names.

163
00:12:35,802 --> 00:12:38,429
And I got lost, completely lost,

164
00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:39,847
running on campus.

165
00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,642
I talked to my doctor,
she said it could be menopause.

166
00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,894
Last time I'd had a period was February.

167
00:12:44,978 --> 00:12:47,939
But I had one again, in September,
before my birthday.

168
00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:51,192
Are you taking any pills,
medication, supplements?

169
00:12:51,276 --> 00:12:55,571
I take a multivitamin,
flaxseed oil, calcium, iron.

170
00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:58,366
I occasionally take a sleeping pill
when I travel.

171
00:12:58,449 --> 00:13:01,327
- Have you had any head injuries?
- No.

172
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,249
Would you consider yourself depressed
or under undue stress at the moment?

173
00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,710
No. I work a lot, but I thrive on it.

174
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:12,255
- How's your sleeping?
- It's fine. Like, seven hours a night.

175
00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,466
Now, I'm gonna ask you to remember
a name and an address.

176
00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:18,011
- I'm gonna ask you for it again later.
- Okay.

177
00:13:18,094 --> 00:13:22,098
John black, 42 Washington street, hoboken.

178
00:13:22,181 --> 00:13:24,267
- Can you repeat that for me?
- John black,

179
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:27,020
42 Washington street, hoboken.

180
00:13:27,103 --> 00:13:29,731
- Good. How old are you?
- I'm 50.

181
00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:32,025
- What's today's date?
- November 26th.

182
00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:34,402
- Where are we?
- We are on the third floor.

183
00:13:34,485 --> 00:13:36,112
Of New York-presbyterian.

184
00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:37,905
Can you spell "water" for me?

185
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:43,870
- Now can you spell it for me backwards?
- R-e-t-a—w.

186
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,873
Can you tell me
what you see on these cards?

187
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,416
Pliers.

188
00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:52,587
A sea horse.

189
00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,756
A screwdriver.

190
00:13:54,839 --> 00:13:57,383
- An elephant.
- Good.

191
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:01,137
- Tell me about your parents.
- Well, they're both dead.

192
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:05,099
My mother and my sister died
in a car crash when I was 18,

193
00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:08,394
and my father died in 1999
of liver failure.

194
00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,646
- Hepatitis?
- Cirrhosis.

195
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,231
He was an alcoholic.

196
00:14:12,315 --> 00:14:15,151
And what was he like towards the end?

197
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:18,446
Incoherent. Incontinent.

198
00:14:18,529 --> 00:14:21,115
We didn't really see a lot of each other.

199
00:14:21,199 --> 00:14:25,286
He lived in New Hampshire,
and we weren't that close.

200
00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:27,038
Sorry.

201
00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:31,709
- Do you have any other siblings?
- No. I only had the one.

202
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:35,880
Now, can you tell me that name and address
that I asked you to remember?

203
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,965
Um, John black.

204
00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:40,593
Mm-hm. And the address?

205
00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:45,598
Damn it, I forgot. Heh.

206
00:14:45,681 --> 00:14:47,683
Was it 42 argyle street,

207
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:51,646
Cole street, Washington street,
or south street?

208
00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:57,026
I was distracted talking about my parents.
Can we do that again?

209
00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,987
- There's no need to at this time.
- Okay.

210
00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:03,783
So I'd like to do an mri,
just to rule some things out.

211
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:05,243
Like what?

212
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:07,912
Because I think I have a brain tumor.

213
00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:11,749
A precaution. But it will allow us
to see if there are any lesions

214
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:16,003
or any signs of a stroke.
Just find out what is going on in there.

215
00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:20,883
Okay. What should I do in the meantime?

216
00:15:20,967 --> 00:15:24,595
Get plenty of exercise. It's always good
to get the blood pumping.

217
00:15:24,679 --> 00:15:25,930
Drink lots of water.

218
00:15:26,013 --> 00:15:28,349
Good hydration is excellent
for the memory.

219
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:32,270
Next time you come and see me,
bring in someone who knows you well?

220
00:15:32,353 --> 00:15:35,606
Your husband or a close relative?

221
00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,817
Heh. Sure.

222
00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:16,314
Uh, stethoscope,

223
00:16:16,397 --> 00:16:17,899
millennium,

224
00:16:17,982 --> 00:16:19,775
hedgehog.

225
00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:23,905
Okay.

226
00:16:23,988 --> 00:16:25,740
Okay.

227
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,702
Cathode.

228
00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:36,667
Pomegranate.

229
00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:39,670
Trellis.

230
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,423
Okay.

231
00:16:47,929 --> 00:16:50,306
Hello!

232
00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:52,225
Hi. Come on in.

233
00:16:52,308 --> 00:16:54,060
- Hey, mom. Hi.
- Hey, hi.

234
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,478
Good to see you.

235
00:16:55,561 --> 00:16:57,688
- This is Jenny.
- Hello. I'm Alice.

236
00:16:57,772 --> 00:17:00,024
- I'm happy you could join us.
- Thank you.

237
00:17:00,107 --> 00:17:02,527
Of course.
Sweetheart, why don't you guys

238
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,238
go in there and get a drink,
and grab the...?

239
00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:07,657
The cheese thing and...

240
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:08,908
- All right.
- Yeah.

241
00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,868
I'm so happy you could join us.

242
00:17:10,952 --> 00:17:12,995
- I really am, Jenny.
- Thank you.

243
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,289
- It smells so good in here.
- Beautiful.

244
00:17:15,373 --> 00:17:18,000
- Yeah.
- That's how we do it.

245
00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,046
Okay.

246
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:29,095
How many goddamn eggs?

247
00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:34,392
Cathode, pomegranate,

248
00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:36,644
trellis?

249
00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:39,063
-Hey, mom.

250
00:17:39,146 --> 00:17:41,357
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, merry Christmas.

251
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,067
How was your flight?

252
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:46,696
Actually, awful. This guy coughed
all over me the entire time.

253
00:17:46,779 --> 00:17:48,906
- I hope you don't get sick.
- Me too.

254
00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:51,409
- Does this mean what I think it means?
- Yes.

255
00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,202
- Bread pudding?
- Your favorite.

256
00:17:53,286 --> 00:17:55,246
- Yes.
- Mom. Merry Christmas.

257
00:17:55,329 --> 00:17:56,747
- Hi.
- Hello.

258
00:17:56,831 --> 00:18:00,084
- Seen my latest "words with friends"?
- I haven't had time.

259
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,419
- A real zinger.
- Yeah?

260
00:18:01,502 --> 00:18:03,397
- "Jealousy" on a triple.
- Hey!

261
00:18:03,421 --> 00:18:05,965
- Don't spoil it.
- Already trending on Twitter.

262
00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:07,466
How's California?

263
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:08,718
- Nice.
- Yeah?

264
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,219
Warmer than here?

265
00:18:10,303 --> 00:18:13,347
Yeah.
Definitely warmer than here.

266
00:18:13,848 --> 00:18:17,184
Hey, guys, why don't you get out of here,

267
00:18:17,268 --> 00:18:19,437
so I can concentrate on making this.

268
00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:21,314
Okay?

269
00:18:21,397 --> 00:18:23,733
- Where's dad?
- He's upstairs.

270
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:24,984
Can I help you?

271
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,361
No, I'm fine. Go get a drink or something.

272
00:18:27,445 --> 00:18:30,781
- It's gonna be delicious. Yum. It will be.
- Oh, I hope so.

273
00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:32,366
I can't wait.

274
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,076
- Jenny.
- Nice to meet you.

275
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,037
Nice to meet you too.

276
00:18:37,204 --> 00:18:38,844
- Hi, Jenny.
- How are you?

277
00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:40,833
- Hi.
- Hi.

278
00:18:40,916 --> 00:18:42,293
Honestly.

279
00:18:42,376 --> 00:18:44,378
- Hey.
- Slider.

280
00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:50,551
It's a very big decision. We're excited.

281
00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:52,928
The place was recommended by friends

282
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:57,433
who've been trying for years, and they
just had their first child, so... heh.

283
00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:58,851
So we'll see.

284
00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:01,562
- I've heard good things about wellspring.
- Good.

285
00:19:01,646 --> 00:19:04,523
It's expensive,
but we obviously want it to work.

286
00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:06,484
You can't be a mom already.

287
00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,902
I know!

288
00:19:07,985 --> 00:19:09,445
- Okay.
- Are you kidding?

289
00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:12,782
- What kind of soup, mom?
- Here we go. It's butternut squash.

290
00:19:12,865 --> 00:19:15,826
Hi, I'm Alice.
I'm so happy you could join us.

291
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:20,289
- I'm Jenny.
- It's really nice to meet you.

292
00:19:20,373 --> 00:19:22,625
- Well, I think...
- Yeah...

293
00:19:22,708 --> 00:19:25,544
I deserve a glass of wine
after that, don't you?

294
00:19:25,628 --> 00:19:27,797
- You want white?
- Yes. Thank you.

295
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,132
- Does everyone have a glass?
- Yes, we do.

296
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:34,345
Let's have a toast. To Christmas.

297
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:36,347
Merry Christmas.

298
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:39,225
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

299
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,894
Now, I don't see
anything abnormal in your mri.

300
00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:44,397
No cerebral vascular disease,

301
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,316
- no evidence of strokes, no masses.
- Thank god.

302
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,236
And your blood work came back
completely clear,

303
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:54,281
but what worries me are
the memory tests that I sent you for.

304
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:59,286
You have sporadic memory impairment
totally out of proportion to your age.

305
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:03,958
And there is evidence of decline
in your level of mental function.

306
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:07,169
I think we should do a pet scan.
It's similar to an mri,

307
00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:09,714
but it can pick up things
at the molecular level.

308
00:20:09,797 --> 00:20:14,051
I know what a pet scan is. What
in particular would you be looking for?

309
00:20:14,844 --> 00:20:19,432
I wanna see if the results are consistent
with Alzheimer's disease.

310
00:20:19,515 --> 00:20:23,018
Now, it would be rare
for someone as young as yourself,

311
00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:26,313
but you do fit the criteria.

312
00:20:28,107 --> 00:20:30,735
Last time, I asked you
to bring a close relative.

313
00:20:30,818 --> 00:20:33,320
I really didn't think
that would be necessary.

314
00:20:33,404 --> 00:20:36,282
Okay. But next time, for sure.

315
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,825
Okay?

316
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,871
"Enhancement of endogenous levels
of endorphin

317
00:20:41,954 --> 00:20:45,166
has not been shown
to reduce incidence of metastasis

318
00:20:45,249 --> 00:20:47,126
in the distant cell sites."

319
00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:49,712
- That's not good.
- Tell me about it.

320
00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:52,131
We've been working on this for months.

321
00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:55,217
It seems beta endorphin
doesn't significantly impact

322
00:20:55,301 --> 00:20:57,720
the microphage activity.

323
00:20:57,803 --> 00:21:00,097
What about the cytokines?

324
00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:02,933
Elevated. Slightly.

325
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,604
Oh, god. Back to square one.

326
00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:13,819
- Are we both here on the 17th?
- Um...

327
00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,529
I don't remember.

328
00:21:15,613 --> 00:21:19,742
Phil and Diane were saying
they might come to town for the weekend.

329
00:21:25,748 --> 00:21:28,417
How long are you going
to keep at that thing?

330
00:21:28,501 --> 00:21:30,586
Till it's clean.

331
00:22:30,688 --> 00:22:32,898
John, sweetheart, wake up.

332
00:22:37,069 --> 00:22:40,155
- What time is it?
- I need to talk to you.

333
00:22:42,408 --> 00:22:43,951
I've, um...

334
00:22:44,869 --> 00:22:47,496
I've got something wrong with me.

335
00:22:49,832 --> 00:22:51,750
What are you talking about?

336
00:22:51,834 --> 00:22:54,795
I've been seeing a neurologist.

337
00:22:54,879 --> 00:22:57,715
You've been seeing a neurologist? Why?

338
00:22:57,798 --> 00:23:01,886
They think that it might be
early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

339
00:23:04,722 --> 00:23:07,766
Ali, Ali, that doesn't make
any sense at all.

340
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,894
They don't know anything for sure.

341
00:23:09,977 --> 00:23:13,105
But I've been doing all these tests
and I'm really scared.

342
00:23:13,188 --> 00:23:17,443
- Ali, that is completely insane.
- I got...

343
00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:21,822
I got lost while I was running
on campus a while ago. I can't...

344
00:23:21,906 --> 00:23:26,243
I can't remember appointments, words.

345
00:23:26,327 --> 00:23:28,329
Honey, we all have memory lapses.

346
00:23:28,412 --> 00:23:29,788
That's a sign of getting older.

347
00:23:29,872 --> 00:23:34,418
The other day, I couldn't remember
the word, um, "glucose."

348
00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:35,669
It's not like that.

349
00:23:35,753 --> 00:23:38,964
It's like something just drop...
Drops out under me.

350
00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:42,343
- But there is no diagnosis yet?
- No.

351
00:23:42,426 --> 00:23:46,555
Okay. Well, then I think that this
is ridiculous. It's complete bullshit.

352
00:23:46,639 --> 00:23:50,017
- You don't have Alzheimer's.
- Why won't you take me seriously?!

353
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:51,644
I know what I'm feeling.

354
00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:55,564
I know what it's feeling, and it feels
like my brain is fucking dying.

355
00:23:55,648 --> 00:23:59,485
And everything I've worked for
in my entire life is going.

356
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:01,153
It's all... all going.

357
00:24:04,281 --> 00:24:05,574
Come here.

358
00:24:07,451 --> 00:24:09,286
Don't cry.

359
00:24:21,048 --> 00:24:23,467
Most of them are still awaiting trial.

360
00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:26,053
They have not been found guilty.

361
00:24:26,136 --> 00:24:29,932
Last year, officials at rikers reported
to the board of corrections

362
00:24:30,015 --> 00:24:33,602
- that on a typical day...
- What time is your tutorial?

363
00:24:33,686 --> 00:24:35,479
Eleven.

364
00:24:35,562 --> 00:24:37,856
Well, that gives you some time.

365
00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:43,737
I'm gonna be a little late
because I have a departmental meeting.

366
00:24:43,821 --> 00:24:46,865
When I come back,
we can go to dinner, have Thai food?

367
00:24:46,949 --> 00:24:48,450
Yeah, okay.

368
00:24:51,745 --> 00:24:54,206
I'm okay. I just...

369
00:24:55,582 --> 00:24:58,627
Last night just got the better of me,
that's all.

370
00:24:58,711 --> 00:25:03,048
Well, two things: I think it's way
too early to jump to any conclusions...

371
00:25:05,718 --> 00:25:07,928
And whatever happens, I'm here.

372
00:25:09,972 --> 00:25:12,433
You can clearly see in here...

373
00:25:12,516 --> 00:25:16,562
The red areas are high in beta-amyloid.

374
00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:20,524
The buildup has probably been ongoing
for several years.

375
00:25:21,942 --> 00:25:23,027
I'm sorry.

376
00:25:23,986 --> 00:25:26,905
There is evidence
of high amyloid in older people

377
00:25:26,989 --> 00:25:29,283
with normal cognitive function, correct?

378
00:25:29,908 --> 00:25:32,911
Yes, but not in someone as young as Alice.

379
00:25:33,704 --> 00:25:35,956
Well, at least it would be extremely rare.

380
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,543
High amyloid is associated
with conditions other than Alzheimer's.

381
00:25:39,626 --> 00:25:41,962
Unfortunately, in Alice's case,

382
00:25:42,046 --> 00:25:45,632
this corroborates the clinical symptoms
that she is presenting.

383
00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:48,844
Shouldn't any diagnosis be accompanied
by a genetic test?

384
00:25:48,927 --> 00:25:52,514
- Hold on a minute, please.
- Actually, I was gonna suggest that.

385
00:25:52,598 --> 00:25:55,642
In a case like this,
with the onset being so early,

386
00:25:55,726 --> 00:26:00,481
we would like to check for presenilin
mutations that would be an indicator

387
00:26:00,564 --> 00:26:04,860
of familial Alzheimer's disease,
which is a rarer form.

388
00:26:04,943 --> 00:26:06,987
We can make an appointment for you.

389
00:26:07,071 --> 00:26:10,866
- So this concerns my children?
- Yes.

390
00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:14,453
I assume that if I have the gene,

391
00:26:14,536 --> 00:26:17,498
the odds of my passing it along
are fifty-fifty.

392
00:26:17,581 --> 00:26:18,916
I'm afraid so.

393
00:26:18,999 --> 00:26:23,587
And if they are carriers, what are
the odds of them developing the disease?

394
00:26:23,670 --> 00:26:26,381
I'm afraid it's 100%.

395
00:26:27,174 --> 00:26:31,553
Radiology technician,
please dial extension 256.

396
00:26:33,806 --> 00:26:36,433
The kids will all be here
for our anniversary.

397
00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:39,394
I don't think we should tell them,
not until we have the results.

398
00:26:39,478 --> 00:26:43,357
We will by then, if I go in next week.
I wanna know as soon as possible.

399
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,736
Where the hell is this goddamn elevator?
Here we are in a major hospital.

400
00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,988
- Only one elevator running?
- It's okay.

401
00:26:50,072 --> 00:26:53,617
- We could've taken the stairs by now.
- It doesn't matter.

402
00:26:56,203 --> 00:26:58,163
Going down.

403
00:27:05,838 --> 00:27:10,884
Well, um, everybody...

404
00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:12,344
What's going on?

405
00:27:15,681 --> 00:27:18,851
- Oh, boy. Uh...
- Are you guys gonna break up or...?

406
00:27:21,687 --> 00:27:26,650
- No, it's nothing like that. It...
- Mom, are you sick?

407
00:27:31,363 --> 00:27:34,616
I have been seeing a neurologist
for the past few months

408
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:38,078
and I have Alzheimer's disease.

409
00:27:38,162 --> 00:27:39,955
Early onset.

410
00:27:40,038 --> 00:27:42,958
That... that doesn't make sense.
Are...? Are you sure?

411
00:27:43,041 --> 00:27:45,961
There is no doubt. She has the disease.

412
00:27:46,044 --> 00:27:48,255
But at her age, it's...

413
00:27:48,338 --> 00:27:50,465
It is rare, but it has been confirmed.

414
00:27:50,549 --> 00:27:52,593
- Yeah.
- You're so young, mom.

415
00:27:55,554 --> 00:27:59,600
- I don't understand that.
- I had noticed one or two things.

416
00:27:59,683 --> 00:28:02,603
You didn't know Tom's girlfriend
when she came over...

417
00:28:02,686 --> 00:28:05,522
- Lydia.
- What medications are you on?

418
00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:08,150
Right now, I'm on Aricept and Namenda.

419
00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:10,027
They can help slow the progress?

420
00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:12,029
- Well, no.
- I'm afraid not.

421
00:28:12,112 --> 00:28:13,947
Help alleviate the symptoms,

422
00:28:14,031 --> 00:28:17,117
- but they can't prevent the disease.
- John, the thing is

423
00:28:17,201 --> 00:28:20,245
that the type of Alzheimer's I have

424
00:28:20,329 --> 00:28:23,290
is very rare.

425
00:28:24,958 --> 00:28:29,254
It's familial. It's passed on genetically.

426
00:28:29,338 --> 00:28:30,172
Oh, my god.

427
00:28:30,255 --> 00:28:32,716
We believe that she got it
from her father

428
00:28:32,799 --> 00:28:36,094
and, of course, we're very worried
about the three of you.

429
00:28:36,178 --> 00:28:38,347
Now, there is a test you can take,

430
00:28:38,430 --> 00:28:43,227
but it's completely up to you
whether you wanna find out or not.

431
00:28:44,269 --> 00:28:46,146
I'm sorry.

432
00:28:47,481 --> 00:28:49,274
I'm so...

433
00:29:45,330 --> 00:29:49,293
Can anyone tell me what it says
in the syllabus for today?

434
00:29:51,628 --> 00:29:52,879
Phonology.

435
00:29:52,963 --> 00:29:56,466
And can anyone tell me
what phonology is?

436
00:30:02,806 --> 00:30:06,643
"Phono" is from the Greek word "phone,"
meaning "sound,"

437
00:30:06,727 --> 00:30:11,315
and phonology, broadly speaking,
is the study of the sounds of language.

438
00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:13,859
It should be distinguished from phonetics.

439
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,790
Hi, Anna.

440
00:30:28,874 --> 00:30:30,334
Hi, mom.

441
00:30:30,417 --> 00:30:32,461
Are you okay?

442
00:30:33,128 --> 00:30:36,340
I got the results. I'm positive.

443
00:30:36,423 --> 00:30:39,343
Oh, god, Anna.

444
00:30:40,302 --> 00:30:43,347
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

445
00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:47,768
Tom turned out negative,
and Lydia didn't wanna know.

446
00:30:47,851 --> 00:30:49,394
But I'm positive.

447
00:30:49,478 --> 00:30:52,105
Baby, how are you feeling?

448
00:30:52,189 --> 00:30:54,149
I'm okay.

449
00:30:55,692 --> 00:30:59,988
One good thing, at least I found out now
before the next iui session.

450
00:31:00,072 --> 00:31:02,115
I guess they can test the embryos,

451
00:31:02,199 --> 00:31:04,826
so they can be sure
the babies will be okay.

452
00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:09,164
I'm on my way to a lecture, but I can
cancel it and I can be right there.

453
00:31:09,247 --> 00:31:13,168
No, no, mom, it's okay.
I'm with Charlie. I'm okay.

454
00:31:13,251 --> 00:31:17,130
No, I want to. I can...
I... I want to be there. I can come.

455
00:31:17,214 --> 00:31:21,218
No, please don't worry. I'll be fine.

456
00:31:21,843 --> 00:31:23,470
Okay.

457
00:31:24,346 --> 00:31:26,681
I love you, sweetheart.

458
00:31:26,765 --> 00:31:28,683
[Love you.

459
00:31:29,684 --> 00:31:32,813
- Bye.
- Bye.

460
00:32:13,103 --> 00:32:17,065
"I had been looking foward
to this course, but I was disappointed.

461
00:32:17,149 --> 00:32:22,696
The content was often muddled
and delivered with little focus or care.

462
00:32:22,779 --> 00:32:27,075
Class was a waste of time. I ended up
just following the online version.

463
00:32:27,159 --> 00:32:30,203
I found linguistics 201 very erratic.

464
00:32:30,287 --> 00:32:34,207
I had a hard time
following Dr. Howland's lectures.

465
00:32:34,291 --> 00:32:36,918
Even she seems
like she gets lost in them."

466
00:32:37,002 --> 00:32:43,049
Eric, I am so sorry. I...
I didn't know the students felt this way.

467
00:32:43,133 --> 00:32:45,594
Obviously, I will...
I will make adjustments

468
00:32:45,677 --> 00:32:47,929
and we can reevaluate my performance.

469
00:32:48,013 --> 00:32:50,640
Everything all right at home?
Between you and John?

470
00:32:50,724 --> 00:32:54,019
- Yes, everything's fine.
- Is it something we can help with?

471
00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:56,021
- Stress, depression?
- No, no, no.

472
00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:58,690
- Substance abuse? Alcohol?
- No. No. God, Eric.

473
00:32:58,773 --> 00:33:01,651
No, it's... it's nothing like that.
I... it's, uh...

474
00:33:01,735 --> 00:33:06,198
It's medical.
It's a... it's a medical issue,

475
00:33:06,281 --> 00:33:10,118
and I admit I had a hard time
teaching last semester

476
00:33:10,202 --> 00:33:12,704
and I wasn't aware
of how much it showed.

477
00:33:12,787 --> 00:33:15,707
Alice, I'm not following.

478
00:33:16,666 --> 00:33:20,295
I have mild cognitive impairment.

479
00:33:20,378 --> 00:33:22,672
Would you unpack that for me?

480
00:33:22,756 --> 00:33:26,718
In February, I was diagnosed
with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

481
00:33:27,511 --> 00:33:29,387
What?

482
00:33:29,471 --> 00:33:33,600
- Alice, oh, my god, I'm sorry.
- It's early. It's still early stages.

483
00:33:33,683 --> 00:33:36,228
It will limit my ability as time goes on,

484
00:33:36,311 --> 00:33:39,689
- but for now, I feel capable...
- There's no need to...

485
00:33:39,773 --> 00:33:43,193
I mean, we don't want you
under any undue stress.

486
00:33:43,276 --> 00:33:46,488
- That would be counterproductive.
- I can handle the stress.

487
00:33:46,571 --> 00:33:51,326
I would like to remain in the department
for as long as we all think is possible.

488
00:33:53,578 --> 00:33:57,415
Well, I'll have to let the department
and the faculty know.

489
00:33:58,625 --> 00:33:59,834
Yes, of course.

490
00:33:59,918 --> 00:34:02,754
I am so, so sorry.

491
00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:53,513
I'll have a regular
with blueberries and coconut, please.

492
00:35:08,153 --> 00:35:09,362
Hi.

493
00:35:10,655 --> 00:35:12,824
Alice, where the hell were you?

494
00:35:12,907 --> 00:35:14,200
I went for a run.

495
00:35:14,284 --> 00:35:17,120
You've been gone for over two hours.
I was worried.

496
00:35:17,203 --> 00:35:19,122
Well, then I went to pinkberry.

497
00:35:19,205 --> 00:35:21,958
- You went to pinkberry?
- Yeah.

498
00:35:22,042 --> 00:35:26,463
Well, I hope you enjoyed that because
you completely blew our dinner plans.

499
00:35:27,881 --> 00:35:30,091
Susan Kirby and her husband.

500
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,138
I'm sorry. I forgot.

501
00:35:35,639 --> 00:35:37,766
I have Alzheimer's.

502
00:35:37,849 --> 00:35:39,559
I texted you, I e-mailed you.

503
00:35:39,643 --> 00:35:42,312
- There are ways to manage...
- I said I was sorry.

504
00:35:42,395 --> 00:35:45,023
She's the chair of my department.

505
00:35:45,106 --> 00:35:47,942
I had no idea where you were,
if something happened.

506
00:35:48,026 --> 00:35:51,321
- Why didn't you bring your phone?
- I can't when I'm running.

507
00:35:51,404 --> 00:35:53,865
Wear a Fanny pack.
Is it that inhibiting?

508
00:35:59,913 --> 00:36:03,792
- I hate that this is happening to me.
- I hate it too.

509
00:36:04,876 --> 00:36:07,712
We have to keep the important things
in our life going.

510
00:36:07,796 --> 00:36:10,173
We have to try or we're going to go crazy.

511
00:36:10,256 --> 00:36:11,758
I know. I know, John.

512
00:36:11,841 --> 00:36:16,054
I am, I'm sorry, but I don't know what
I would've been like at a dinner party.

513
00:36:16,137 --> 00:36:19,641
I might not be able to remember names
or answer simple questions.

514
00:36:19,724 --> 00:36:22,811
- Never mind get through an anecdote.
- You're doing great.

515
00:36:22,894 --> 00:36:24,187
Relative to what?

516
00:36:27,607 --> 00:36:29,693
I wish I had cancer.

517
00:36:30,985 --> 00:36:32,320
Don't say that.

518
00:36:32,404 --> 00:36:35,699
No, I do. I mean it.
I mean, I wouldn't feel so ashamed.

519
00:36:35,782 --> 00:36:39,619
People have cancer,
they wear pink ribbons for you

520
00:36:39,703 --> 00:36:43,081
and go on long walks,
and raise money,

521
00:36:43,164 --> 00:36:47,961
and you don't have to feel
like some kind of a social...

522
00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,465
I can't remember the word.

523
00:37:01,349 --> 00:37:07,105
In 2013, we completed exterior repairs,
and inside, we replaced the elevators,

524
00:37:07,188 --> 00:37:10,483
refurbished the auditorium,
the library and lounge area,

525
00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:13,611
- and upgraded our hvac system.
- Well, that's good.

526
00:37:13,695 --> 00:37:16,406
We also took away
a lot of the old security doors.

527
00:37:16,489 --> 00:37:18,783
Residents are issued a bracelet instead,

528
00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:22,287
which keeps them from using elevators
or leaving the building,

529
00:37:22,370 --> 00:37:23,788
depending on their level.

530
00:37:23,872 --> 00:37:26,291
I don't know if you've experienced this
with your parent,

531
00:37:26,374 --> 00:37:29,711
but they get nighttime restlessness
and wandering.

532
00:37:29,794 --> 00:37:33,923
We can prevent their elopement without
patients feeling they're locked in.

533
00:37:34,007 --> 00:37:35,175
I see.

534
00:37:35,258 --> 00:37:39,888
We saw that large group activities
left most of the residents unengaged

535
00:37:39,971 --> 00:37:44,392
and even distressed by the confusion
they experienced from all the stimulation.

536
00:37:44,476 --> 00:37:46,853
So we redefined activities

537
00:37:46,936 --> 00:37:51,107
to include all interactions
between staff and residents in the unit.

538
00:37:51,191 --> 00:37:55,403
Staff looks for opportunities to make
meaningful connections with residents,

539
00:37:55,487 --> 00:38:00,033
starting with knowing about the person
and what makes them comfortable.

540
00:38:00,116 --> 00:38:02,994
One woman who had worked
as a nurse sat, most days,

541
00:38:03,077 --> 00:38:05,288
in the nursing station, writing notes.

542
00:38:05,371 --> 00:38:06,539
Heartbreaking.

543
00:38:06,623 --> 00:38:09,751
Yes, but it's a behavior
we see time and again.

544
00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,295
We don't have restrictions
on visiting times.

545
00:38:12,378 --> 00:38:14,798
Family and friends
are welcome day or night.

546
00:38:14,881 --> 00:38:17,509
- Doesn't look like anybody's here.
- Sunday is the day they come.

547
00:38:18,551 --> 00:38:20,220
- What's that?
- Chair alarm.

548
00:38:20,303 --> 00:38:22,514
Certain residents have them,
so we know they're up.

549
00:38:22,597 --> 00:38:25,141
- She all right?
- Just a precautionary measure.

550
00:38:25,225 --> 00:38:27,977
- Get me to penn station.
- It's all women.

551
00:38:28,061 --> 00:38:31,314
We do have mainly female residents here,
but there are men.

552
00:38:31,397 --> 00:38:34,025
There's William.
William was part of the team

553
00:38:34,108 --> 00:38:36,986
- that sent the first satellite into orbit.
- Mm-hm.

554
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:52,836
They just aren't powerful enough
to put me to sleep.

555
00:38:52,919 --> 00:38:54,587
Do you want to try Lunesta?

556
00:38:54,671 --> 00:38:56,339
What about rohypnol?

557
00:38:56,422 --> 00:38:57,757
That's very strong.

558
00:38:57,841 --> 00:39:00,009
I need something strong.

559
00:39:10,436 --> 00:39:11,855
Hi, Alice.

560
00:39:11,938 --> 00:39:16,401
I am you and I have something
very important to say to you.

561
00:39:16,484 --> 00:39:20,613
So you've reached the point
where you can no longer answer

562
00:39:20,697 --> 00:39:22,198
any of the questions.

563
00:39:22,282 --> 00:39:25,535
So this is the next logical step.

564
00:39:25,618 --> 00:39:27,537
I'm sure of it.

565
00:39:27,620 --> 00:39:30,582
In your bedroom
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

566
00:39:31,165 --> 00:39:32,876
Open the top drawer.

567
00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:36,254
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

568
00:39:36,337 --> 00:39:39,340
It says, "take all pills with water."

569
00:39:39,424 --> 00:39:42,176
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle,

570
00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:45,805
but it's very important
that you swallow them all.

571
00:39:46,556 --> 00:39:52,312
Okay? And then lie down and go to sleep.

572
00:39:53,021 --> 00:39:55,773
And don't tell anyone what you're doing.

573
00:41:32,578 --> 00:41:34,664
Ali!

574
00:41:34,747 --> 00:41:36,666
Ali!

575
00:41:44,966 --> 00:41:46,342
Oh, I love it here.

576
00:41:46,426 --> 00:41:47,885
Me too.

577
00:41:57,562 --> 00:42:02,608
J“ and if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean j“

578
00:42:08,489 --> 00:42:11,034
- Remember santorini?
- Santorini.

579
00:42:11,117 --> 00:42:16,080
- Can you believe that was 30 years ago?
- Don't do that to me. Oh, my god.

580
00:42:16,164 --> 00:42:18,499
Oh, it was a complicated time, huh?

581
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,544
You were dealing with a lot.
What was it, a year after?

582
00:42:21,627 --> 00:42:24,338
- Yeah, something like that.
- Yeah.

583
00:42:24,422 --> 00:42:25,631
I know I've said this,

584
00:42:25,715 --> 00:42:28,843
but I am sorry I never got
to meet your mom or your sister.

585
00:42:28,926 --> 00:42:30,762
Me too.

586
00:42:31,554 --> 00:42:33,056
We had a great time, though.

587
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,935
- Yeah.
- Don't you wish we had more of that?

588
00:42:38,519 --> 00:42:41,731
If you mean blow jobs on the beach, yes.

589
00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:44,358
- Yeah, but, you know.
- I do wish we had more.

590
00:42:44,442 --> 00:42:46,652
Yeah, all of it.

591
00:42:47,195 --> 00:42:49,072
It all happened so fast, you know.

592
00:42:49,155 --> 00:42:51,741
Anna was born, oui' careers.

593
00:42:51,824 --> 00:42:53,618
Well, you were relentless.

594
00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:56,746
You wanted everything and all at once.

595
00:42:56,829 --> 00:43:00,583
That's how I am. That's how I like it.

596
00:43:01,626 --> 00:43:03,419
Anna's the same way, right?

597
00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:06,255
I like you the way you are.

598
00:43:07,965 --> 00:43:10,051
I like everything about you.

599
00:43:10,134 --> 00:43:12,053
Thank god you do.

600
00:43:12,136 --> 00:43:14,388
Mm. Mmm.

601
00:43:16,766 --> 00:43:18,392
This is so great, you know.

602
00:43:18,476 --> 00:43:19,894
I kind of like it.

603
00:43:19,977 --> 00:43:23,022
Being liberated from Columbia.

604
00:43:23,106 --> 00:43:26,109
Why don't you take a sabbatical next year?

605
00:43:26,692 --> 00:43:29,403
And we're gonna do what,
drive around the country in an rv?

606
00:43:30,863 --> 00:43:34,534
Sure. I don't know,
we could spend more time here.

607
00:43:34,617 --> 00:43:35,785
Go to Bhutan.

608
00:43:35,868 --> 00:43:39,747
Well, I think our summer on the island
is all the excitement I can handle.

609
00:43:39,831 --> 00:43:42,458
Okay. Well, you know what?

610
00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:46,337
This might be the last year
that I'm myself, you know?

611
00:43:51,884 --> 00:43:53,970
Please don't say that.

612
00:44:17,618 --> 00:44:19,412
John?

613
00:44:19,495 --> 00:44:21,414
I'm over here!

614
00:44:21,497 --> 00:44:25,418
Oh, hey, when are you going
to the conference?

615
00:44:26,919 --> 00:44:28,337
On Monday.

616
00:44:28,421 --> 00:44:31,465
- And when is Lydia coming?
- Lydia comes on Sunday.

617
00:44:31,549 --> 00:44:34,093
She doesn't have to come
just to babysit me.

618
00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:37,638
She's coming to do the Chekhov play
at saugatuck, remember?

619
00:44:38,347 --> 00:44:40,391
- Right.
- When I get finished,

620
00:44:40,474 --> 00:44:44,145
- are we gonna go for a run?
- Yeah, I need to grab another layer.

621
00:44:44,228 --> 00:44:45,688
Okay.

622
00:45:27,605 --> 00:45:30,983
- Hey, are we still going running?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, look.

623
00:45:31,067 --> 00:45:33,569
Look, I found this photo album

624
00:45:33,653 --> 00:45:35,988
with these pictures
of my mother and my sister.

625
00:45:37,657 --> 00:45:40,701
Hey, when are you going
to the conference?

626
00:45:41,619 --> 00:45:44,121
- Monday.
- And when is Lydia coming?

627
00:45:44,205 --> 00:45:46,457
Lydia's coming on Sunday.

628
00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:48,125
Okay.

629
00:45:49,377 --> 00:45:51,170
- Are we going running?
- Yes.

630
00:45:51,254 --> 00:45:53,339
Yes, we are. I just have to go pee.

631
00:45:53,422 --> 00:45:55,132
I'll be right back.

632
00:47:02,283 --> 00:47:03,909
Ali?

633
00:47:07,163 --> 00:47:09,665
I couldn't find the bathroom.

634
00:47:09,749 --> 00:47:12,209
It's okay, baby.
Come on, let's get you cleaned up.

635
00:47:13,502 --> 00:47:15,421
I don't know where I am.

636
00:47:36,942 --> 00:47:38,694
- I like that necklace.
- You do?

637
00:47:38,778 --> 00:47:40,237
- Yeah.
- Haven't seen this?

638
00:47:40,321 --> 00:47:42,031
Nope.

639
00:47:42,114 --> 00:47:44,700
My mother gave it to me.

640
00:47:45,451 --> 00:47:48,120
When I was, um, a little girl,

641
00:47:48,204 --> 00:47:52,166
like, in second grade,
my teacher told me

642
00:47:52,249 --> 00:47:55,753
that butterflies don't live a long time.
They live, like, a month.

643
00:47:55,836 --> 00:47:59,715
And I was so upset, and I went home,
and I told my mother, and she said:

644
00:47:59,799 --> 00:48:03,052
"Yeah, but, you know,
they have a nice life.

645
00:48:03,135 --> 00:48:05,513
They have a really beautiful life."

646
00:48:05,596 --> 00:48:10,184
So now it always makes me think about
my mother's life and my sister's life.

647
00:48:10,267 --> 00:48:14,772
And to a certain extent, you know, my own.

648
00:48:18,567 --> 00:48:21,862
- You are gonna be around for a long time.
- Yes, yes.

649
00:48:21,946 --> 00:48:24,198
There's some things I wanna do, you know?

650
00:48:24,281 --> 00:48:28,160
I wanna take a sabbatical with daddy.
I don't think that's gonna happen.

651
00:48:28,244 --> 00:48:32,915
And I wanna see Anna have a baby,
and I wanna see Tom graduate.

652
00:48:32,998 --> 00:48:36,919
- You will.
- And I'd like to see you go to college.

653
00:48:39,672 --> 00:48:43,384
Not for law or medicine or anything,
but for drama.

654
00:48:43,467 --> 00:48:46,387
And if the acting thing doesn't
work out, you could...

655
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:50,766
You could teach or do workshops.
You'd have some kind of a backup plan.

656
00:48:53,519 --> 00:48:55,813
I don't want a backup plan.

657
00:48:57,857 --> 00:49:01,444
I wanna do this. I'm gonna give it a shot.

658
00:49:01,527 --> 00:49:03,380
It's not gonna happen
if I don't believe in myself.

659
00:49:03,404 --> 00:49:06,866
I believe in you, Lydia.
I do, I believe in you.

660
00:49:06,949 --> 00:49:09,869
It's just that, you know, life is tough.

661
00:49:09,952 --> 00:49:12,997
It is tougher than you know.

662
00:49:14,457 --> 00:49:18,627
I just... I want you to have
some kind of security before I go.

663
00:49:19,670 --> 00:49:21,797
Mom, for god...

664
00:49:21,881 --> 00:49:23,591
You have to...

665
00:49:25,259 --> 00:49:28,554
You can't use your situation
to just get me to do everything

666
00:49:28,637 --> 00:49:30,848
- you want me to do.
- Why can't I?

667
00:49:30,931 --> 00:49:33,893
- Because that's not fair.
- I don't have to be fair.

668
00:49:33,976 --> 00:49:35,895
I'm your mother.

669
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,440
- Right?
- Yeah.

670
00:50:20,105 --> 00:50:22,983
- Hey.
- What's going on?

671
00:50:23,067 --> 00:50:25,402
I'm just working, how about you?

672
00:50:26,195 --> 00:50:28,072
Nothing.

673
00:50:30,533 --> 00:50:32,076
I need something to read.

674
00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:36,163
- I thought you were reading Moby-dick.
- Yeah, I was,

675
00:50:36,247 --> 00:50:41,335
but I got tired of reading the same page
over and over again. I can't focus.

676
00:50:41,418 --> 00:50:44,213
Well, that happens to me
when I read Moby-dick too.

677
00:50:44,296 --> 00:50:47,925
- Why don't you try something lighter.
- Like the cat in the hat?

678
00:50:48,008 --> 00:50:50,719
How about one of those plays
Lydia has downstairs?

679
00:50:50,803 --> 00:50:53,264
They're quicker, they're easier to read.

680
00:50:53,347 --> 00:50:56,308
It might give the two of you
something to talk about.

681
00:51:01,647 --> 00:51:03,607
Okay.

682
00:51:11,907 --> 00:51:14,368
You work all the time.

683
00:52:10,716 --> 00:52:15,220
What I liked about it was how...

684
00:52:15,304 --> 00:52:18,849
How big, how...

685
00:52:18,932 --> 00:52:24,063
How wide the scape of it was.

686
00:52:24,146 --> 00:52:25,898
Yeah. The scope of it.

687
00:52:25,981 --> 00:52:28,734
The scope, that's the word.
Oh, god, listen to me. Heh.

688
00:52:28,817 --> 00:52:31,445
It's unbelievable
you had to live through that.

689
00:52:32,363 --> 00:52:33,947
You must have known...

690
00:52:34,031 --> 00:52:36,492
Must have known somebody
that died from aids.

691
00:52:36,575 --> 00:52:40,079
Oh, yeah, honey. Everybody did.

692
00:52:40,663 --> 00:52:43,165
We lost a lot of people.

693
00:52:44,708 --> 00:52:46,585
What did you think?

694
00:52:46,669 --> 00:52:49,755
I mean, you and Malcolm played
the mormons, right?

695
00:52:49,838 --> 00:52:53,050
The husband and wife?
You did scenes in your acting class.

696
00:52:53,133 --> 00:52:55,052
Yeah, how'd you know that?

697
00:52:56,553 --> 00:52:58,931
I don't know, you must have told me.

698
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,142
- I didn't tell you.
- Mmm.

699
00:53:02,226 --> 00:53:03,977
Well, then...

700
00:53:04,061 --> 00:53:05,854
I don't know how I know it.

701
00:53:07,481 --> 00:53:08,982
Mom, did you read my journal?

702
00:53:14,238 --> 00:53:16,115
Why?

703
00:53:16,198 --> 00:53:18,826
- Why would you do that, mom?
- Oh, gosh.

704
00:53:18,909 --> 00:53:21,620
I am so sorry.

705
00:53:21,704 --> 00:53:25,374
Lydia, I honestly didn't understand
what I was reading.

706
00:53:25,457 --> 00:53:29,002
You didn't understand "Lydia howland"
written across the front?

707
00:53:29,086 --> 00:53:32,297
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I...
- I don't believe you.

708
00:53:32,381 --> 00:53:34,091
I didn't mean to.

709
00:53:34,174 --> 00:53:35,551
Okay, it's fine.

710
00:53:35,634 --> 00:53:37,344
I just can't...

711
00:53:37,428 --> 00:53:40,472
- Lydia, I didn't... I really didn't know.
- Just stop!

712
00:53:40,556 --> 00:53:42,933
I wouldn't do that to you.

713
00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:47,730
- So you can't eat this.
- No, I know.

714
00:53:47,813 --> 00:53:51,859
No Sushi, no hot do...
Hot dogs are the worst. I love hot dogs.

715
00:53:51,942 --> 00:53:53,610
- No alcohol.
- No alcohol.

716
00:53:53,694 --> 00:53:55,904
- No cigarettes.
- Never even smoked.

717
00:53:55,988 --> 00:53:57,573
Well, you... I mean...

718
00:53:57,656 --> 00:54:00,743
- You've never had one cigarette?
- Not one.

719
00:54:00,826 --> 00:54:02,619
We can't be too careful.

720
00:54:02,703 --> 00:54:06,915
He even grabbed my hand the other day
as we were walking down the stairs.

721
00:54:06,999 --> 00:54:11,295
- Protecting my investment.
- Anna, return my "words with friends."

722
00:54:11,378 --> 00:54:14,631
- Oh, I'm sorry, mom. I haven't had time.
- Oh.

723
00:54:14,715 --> 00:54:15,942
- Yeah.
- Hey.

724
00:54:15,966 --> 00:54:18,218
- Hey, hey. Thank you.
- Congrats.

725
00:54:20,095 --> 00:54:22,848
- There you are.
- Thanks. So twins, huh?

726
00:54:22,931 --> 00:54:25,642
- Yes, a boy and a girl.
- Kind of perfect.

727
00:54:25,726 --> 00:54:28,437
- What your mother and I were hoping for.
- It's so wonderful.

728
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,856
Oh, gosh.

729
00:54:30,939 --> 00:54:33,650
I'm sorry, I've gotta take this. Hello?

730
00:54:33,734 --> 00:54:35,819
- How far along are you?
- Five weeks.

731
00:54:35,903 --> 00:54:39,281
Right now,
it's very early days, but, um...

732
00:54:39,364 --> 00:54:42,826
Well, the timing of things,
how we found out and when we did,

733
00:54:42,910 --> 00:54:45,954
- well, it really worked out in the end.
- Great.

734
00:54:46,038 --> 00:54:49,249
- That's amazing.
- So, mom, how you feeling?

735
00:54:49,333 --> 00:54:50,959
- Mostly fine.
- Really?

736
00:54:51,043 --> 00:54:54,880
Yeah, I use this thing,
you know, instead of a memory.

737
00:54:54,963 --> 00:54:57,758
Reminds me to take my medication,
things like that.

738
00:54:57,841 --> 00:55:00,052
It's nice how the technology can help.

739
00:55:00,135 --> 00:55:04,181
- I think it has the same...
- Lydia, what time is your play?

740
00:55:04,264 --> 00:55:05,599
Eight o'clock.

741
00:55:05,682 --> 00:55:07,768
- Nervous about tomorrow night?
- Yes.

742
00:55:07,851 --> 00:55:09,770
I'll be fine,
but I'll have to block you out.

743
00:55:10,979 --> 00:55:12,564
I'm sorry. What time again?

744
00:55:12,648 --> 00:55:14,107
- Eight o'clock.
- Okay.

745
00:55:14,191 --> 00:55:18,028
- You don't have to schedule it.
- I wanna put it in. And where is it?

746
00:55:18,111 --> 00:55:20,239
- The saugatuck theater.
- Can you spell that?

747
00:55:20,322 --> 00:55:22,825
- S-a-u...
- Mom, we're not gonna forget you.

748
00:55:22,908 --> 00:55:24,326
Just let her do it.

749
00:55:24,409 --> 00:55:27,454
- It's s-a—u-g-a-t-u-c-k.
- Oh, god.

750
00:55:27,538 --> 00:55:29,248
- Anna, you're not helping.
- You're not.

751
00:55:29,331 --> 00:55:31,834
Why worry about remembering
something she doesn't have to?

752
00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:33,961
If you just let her, she won't worry.

753
00:55:34,044 --> 00:55:37,631
You don't have to talk about her
like she's not sitting here.

754
00:55:37,714 --> 00:55:39,633
I'm not, I'm talking to her.

755
00:55:39,716 --> 00:55:41,051
- Aren't I, mom?
- Yes, you are.

756
00:55:41,134 --> 00:55:43,679
- Yes, and what makes you an expert?
- Shut up.

757
00:55:43,762 --> 00:55:45,222
- Grow up, Lydia.
- Suck it.

758
00:55:45,305 --> 00:55:46,765
That's very articulate.

759
00:55:46,849 --> 00:55:48,392
Girls, girls, you know...

760
00:55:48,475 --> 00:55:50,727
- Are you kidding me?
- That's enough.

761
00:55:50,811 --> 00:55:52,980
- Stop it, please.
- You shut up.

762
00:55:53,063 --> 00:55:55,983
- No, both of you, stop it.
- What is going on here?

763
00:55:57,901 --> 00:56:00,654
Alice, this is a beautiful spread.

764
00:56:01,363 --> 00:56:02,948
Thank you, Charlie.

765
00:56:04,116 --> 00:56:05,242
Very valuable...

766
00:56:05,325 --> 00:56:09,580
Lydia, baby, I know that we argued
about something yesterday,

767
00:56:09,663 --> 00:56:13,083
but I can't remember what it was about.

768
00:56:13,166 --> 00:56:14,710
Oh.

769
00:56:14,793 --> 00:56:18,005
- It was nothing, honestly.
- No, I upset you.

770
00:56:18,088 --> 00:56:22,259
And I should apologize.

771
00:56:24,887 --> 00:56:27,097
No, no.

772
00:56:27,180 --> 00:56:28,515
I should apologize.

773
00:56:30,601 --> 00:56:34,146
I feel really bad.
I was so insensitive yesterday.

774
00:56:36,857 --> 00:56:38,650
Will you forgive me, honestly?

775
00:56:39,526 --> 00:56:41,361
But for what?

776
00:56:41,445 --> 00:56:47,910
It was about you respecting my privacy,
and I don't want that.

777
00:56:47,993 --> 00:56:50,996
And I take it back completely.

778
00:56:51,622 --> 00:56:53,707
And I'm sorry, okay?

779
00:56:53,790 --> 00:56:55,751
I'm sorry.

780
00:56:59,671 --> 00:57:02,507
It's not as if I can remember it.

781
00:57:02,591 --> 00:57:06,345
Yeah, I know.
That's why I tried to drop it.

782
00:57:13,518 --> 00:57:15,437
What's it like?

783
00:57:17,189 --> 00:57:20,567
- Like, what does it actually feel like?
- Mmm.

784
00:57:20,651 --> 00:57:24,488
Well, it's not always the same.

785
00:57:24,571 --> 00:57:28,492
You know, I have, uh...
I have good days and bad days.

786
00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:35,290
And on my good days, I can, you know,
almost pass for a normal person.

787
00:57:35,374 --> 00:57:40,379
But on my bad days, I feel like
I can't find myself. Um...

788
00:57:42,214 --> 00:57:48,762
I've always been so defined
by my intellect,

789
00:57:48,845 --> 00:57:52,891
my language, my articulation,

790
00:57:52,975 --> 00:57:57,104
and now, sometimes, I can see
the words hanging in front of me

791
00:57:57,187 --> 00:57:59,982
and I can't reach them.
I don't know who I am,

792
00:58:00,065 --> 00:58:02,651
and I don't know what I'm gonna lose next.

793
00:58:08,532 --> 00:58:10,158
Sounds horrible.

794
00:58:15,998 --> 00:58:17,833
Thanks for asking.

795
00:58:46,278 --> 00:58:48,363
Oh, Lydia.

796
00:58:50,323 --> 00:58:52,617
They're leaving us.

797
00:58:52,701 --> 00:58:54,661
One has quite left us.

798
00:58:54,745 --> 00:58:57,372
Quite and forever.

799
00:58:57,456 --> 00:59:01,293
We alone remain
to begin our lives over again.

800
00:59:01,376 --> 00:59:03,045
We must live.

801
00:59:03,128 --> 00:59:05,422
We must live.

802
00:59:06,173 --> 00:59:10,010
There will come a time
when we all will know why...

803
00:59:10,761 --> 00:59:13,889
For what purpose
there is all of this suffering...

804
00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:18,143
And there will be no mystery.

805
00:59:18,226 --> 00:59:20,270
But now we must live.

806
00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:24,608
We must work, just work.

807
00:59:25,817 --> 00:59:28,278
Tomorrow I'll go off on my own
and I'll teach.

808
00:59:28,361 --> 00:59:32,365
I'll give everything I have
to those who might, perhaps, need it.

809
00:59:34,242 --> 00:59:36,203
It's Autumn now.

810
00:59:36,995 --> 00:59:40,874
Soon it will be winter.
The snow will cover everything.

811
00:59:41,708 --> 00:59:43,794
And I'll be working.

812
00:59:45,921 --> 00:59:47,839
Just working.

813
01:00:08,902 --> 01:00:12,114
There she is.
Hey, you were amazing.

814
01:00:12,197 --> 01:00:14,449
Yes, you were so good.

815
01:00:14,533 --> 01:00:18,245
- Incredible.
- You killed it, totally.

816
01:00:18,995 --> 01:00:21,206
Miss howland,
would you sign this for me?

817
01:00:23,708 --> 01:00:25,752
It was just wonderful.

818
01:00:25,836 --> 01:00:28,880
I... I found it so easy
to empathize with her.

819
01:00:28,964 --> 01:00:33,301
You... you really caught her despair
but also herjoy.

820
01:00:34,469 --> 01:00:37,347
Thank you. Awesome.

821
01:00:37,430 --> 01:00:40,892
Will we get to see you
in anything else this summer?

822
01:00:40,976 --> 01:00:43,687
Um, no, this is the only job I got.

823
01:00:43,770 --> 01:00:46,731
Oh, so you're here for just the season.

824
01:00:51,027 --> 01:00:53,530
- Yeah.
- Mom. Mom.

825
01:00:54,406 --> 01:00:56,867
This is Lydia, your daughter.

826
01:00:57,576 --> 01:01:00,579
No, I... I know that.

827
01:01:01,997 --> 01:01:05,667
Um... thanks for coming.
Weird, embarrassing.

828
01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:09,421
Don't be embarrassed.
Don't, please. Please don't be.

829
01:01:11,464 --> 01:01:13,550
Hammer.

830
01:01:17,596 --> 01:01:20,682
Oh, I know what that is.

831
01:01:20,765 --> 01:01:23,393
It is like a chicken, but it's not.

832
01:01:24,311 --> 01:01:27,314
It is a duck.

833
01:01:27,397 --> 01:01:28,815
How about this one?

834
01:01:28,899 --> 01:01:30,066
A basketball.

835
01:01:30,775 --> 01:01:34,237
- Can you spell water for me backwards?
- Could I spell it fon/vard first?

836
01:01:48,335 --> 01:01:49,711
That's very good.

837
01:01:49,794 --> 01:01:52,672
Now, can you tell me that name
I asked you to remember?

838
01:01:52,756 --> 01:01:56,551
Ugh. You always tell me,
and I can never remember it.

839
01:01:56,635 --> 01:02:02,474
Was it John black, John white,
John Jones, or John Smith?

840
01:02:03,725 --> 01:02:07,312
And his address,
was it east street, Washington street,

841
01:02:07,395 --> 01:02:09,856
humboldt street, or main street?

842
01:02:09,940 --> 01:02:14,361
Just to jump in here, we're both concerned
about the rate of deterioration.

843
01:02:14,444 --> 01:02:18,073
- Is that normal?
- Well, every case is different.

844
01:02:18,156 --> 01:02:21,993
With familial early onset,
things can go fast.

845
01:02:22,077 --> 01:02:27,040
And with people who have a high level
of education, things can go faster.

846
01:02:27,624 --> 01:02:30,460
They've managed to sustain
their mental processes

847
01:02:30,543 --> 01:02:34,756
through innovative means
and that delays diagnosis.

848
01:02:34,839 --> 01:02:39,552
Now, clearly, Alice's memory is failing,
but she's still incredibly resourceful.

849
01:02:39,636 --> 01:02:41,054
Thank you.

850
01:02:41,137 --> 01:02:43,515
I know you're... you're discouraged,

851
01:02:44,099 --> 01:02:47,185
but sometimes I've seen patients
plateau at this point.

852
01:02:48,353 --> 01:02:50,313
Don't lose hope.

853
01:02:50,397 --> 01:02:55,110
I read your name in the Alzheimer's
association care conference brochure.

854
01:02:55,193 --> 01:02:57,821
- You're gonna give a speech.
- Will you be there?

855
01:02:57,904 --> 01:02:59,948
Yes. I'm looking foward to it.

856
01:03:00,031 --> 01:03:04,202
I'm going to be away on business
in Minnesota, and I'm worried.

857
01:03:04,286 --> 01:03:08,123
Are you sure this is a good idea,
considering the state that she's in?

858
01:03:08,206 --> 01:03:11,626
- She's gonna be under a lot of stress.
- It'll be great for her.

859
01:03:11,710 --> 01:03:15,005
Everything will be fine.
But you're not worried about it,

860
01:03:15,088 --> 01:03:18,216
- are you, Alice?
- No, I don't think so.

861
01:03:18,300 --> 01:03:24,180
"Various ways to prevent
the production of amyloid

862
01:03:24,264 --> 01:03:26,266
are being tried.

863
01:03:26,349 --> 01:03:29,269
There is a new study

864
01:03:29,352 --> 01:03:33,982
that combines base
and gamma secretase inhibitors,

865
01:03:34,065 --> 01:03:38,862
and this is one of our best hopes
for the future."

866
01:03:38,945 --> 01:03:41,281
That's it. That's the end.

867
01:03:41,364 --> 01:03:44,242
It's good, mom. It's good.

868
01:03:44,993 --> 01:03:48,246
- It's very scientific.
- Yes, well, you know.

869
01:03:48,330 --> 01:03:52,917
Yeah. And I'm sure it's valid, but, um...

870
01:03:53,001 --> 01:03:54,669
But what?

871
01:03:54,753 --> 01:03:58,673
I mean, is there any value
in making it a bit more personal?

872
01:03:58,757 --> 01:04:00,717
I don't understand what you mean.

873
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,846
You know, you're not speaking
to a room of scientists.

874
01:04:04,929 --> 01:04:09,351
What I wanna know, really, is, like,
how you feel, what does it feel like?

875
01:04:09,434 --> 01:04:11,811
What does this disease mean to you?

876
01:04:11,895 --> 01:04:14,606
You weren't listening
because that's all there.

877
01:04:14,689 --> 01:04:16,191
That's in the speech.

878
01:04:16,274 --> 01:04:17,859
Okay.

879
01:04:17,942 --> 01:04:22,989
- Don't ask me, then.
- Oh, no, then I won't ask, then.

880
01:04:27,744 --> 01:04:29,162
Hey.

881
01:04:29,788 --> 01:04:32,624
Mom, just give it one more shot, okay?

882
01:04:32,707 --> 01:04:36,044
I can't because I have done it already.

883
01:04:37,629 --> 01:04:41,299
I... I use this...

884
01:04:42,217 --> 01:04:45,053
Yellow... yellow thingy to Mark it,

885
01:04:45,136 --> 01:04:51,726
so I don't have to read the same line
over and over and over and over again.

886
01:04:51,810 --> 01:04:53,395
Got it. Totally.

887
01:04:53,478 --> 01:04:55,355
Just print out one more.

888
01:04:55,438 --> 01:04:57,565
It took me three days to write this.

889
01:04:57,649 --> 01:05:02,195
- You can print out one more.
- No, it took me three days.

890
01:05:02,278 --> 01:05:03,696
- Sorry.
- Three days.

891
01:05:29,139 --> 01:05:31,057
Here you are.

892
01:05:31,683 --> 01:05:33,351
Thank you.

893
01:05:46,364 --> 01:05:48,450
- Hello there.
- Hello.

894
01:05:49,576 --> 01:05:52,871
Hi. Oh, Tom, this is my doctor.

895
01:05:52,954 --> 01:05:54,414
- My son.
- Travis Benjamin.

896
01:05:54,497 --> 01:05:57,167
- I'm your mother's neurologist.
- My son, Tom.

897
01:05:57,250 --> 01:06:00,253
- Pleasure.
- So how you feeling, Alice?

898
01:06:00,336 --> 01:06:02,005
I think I'm nervous.

899
01:06:02,088 --> 01:06:04,841
You're gonna do great. Break a leg.

900
01:06:04,924 --> 01:06:07,051
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

901
01:06:10,513 --> 01:06:15,268
It is a great honor to welcome
our next speaker, Alice howland.

902
01:06:15,351 --> 01:06:18,104
A former professor of linguistics
at Columbia,

903
01:06:18,188 --> 01:06:22,317
she's written textbooks
and has lectured all over the world.

904
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,069
Alice is living
with early-onset Alzheimer's

905
01:06:25,153 --> 01:06:28,573
with the care and support
of her loving family.

906
01:06:28,656 --> 01:06:31,910
Please welcome Alice howland.

907
01:06:40,084 --> 01:06:43,630
Please give me just a minute.

908
01:06:51,012 --> 01:06:52,764
"Good morning.

909
01:06:52,847 --> 01:06:55,350
It's an honor to be here.

910
01:06:55,975 --> 01:06:59,354
The poet Elizabeth bishop once wrote:

911
01:06:59,437 --> 01:07:03,733
'The art of losing isn't hard to master.

912
01:07:03,816 --> 01:07:07,654
So many things seem filled
with the intent to be lost

913
01:07:07,737 --> 01:07:10,949
that their loss is no disaster.'

914
01:07:11,032 --> 01:07:12,867
I am not a poet.

915
01:07:12,951 --> 01:07:16,996
I am a person living
with early-onset Alzheimer's.

916
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:24,087
And as that person, I find myself
learning the art of losing every day.

917
01:07:27,882 --> 01:07:33,137
Losing my bearings,
losing objects, losing sleep,

918
01:07:33,221 --> 01:07:35,765
but mostly, losing memories."

919
01:07:35,848 --> 01:07:37,767
Oh, no.

920
01:07:43,898 --> 01:07:46,651
Thank you. Um...

921
01:07:47,277 --> 01:07:50,655
I think I'll try to forget
that just happened.

922
01:07:56,536 --> 01:08:00,248
"All my life, I've accumulated memories.

923
01:08:00,331 --> 01:08:04,711
They've become, in a way,
my most precious possessions.

924
01:08:04,794 --> 01:08:07,255
The night I met my husband,

925
01:08:08,256 --> 01:08:11,384
the first time I held my textbook
in my hands,

926
01:08:12,552 --> 01:08:18,850
having children, making friends,
traveling the world.

927
01:08:18,933 --> 01:08:21,060
Everything I accumulated in life,

928
01:08:21,686 --> 01:08:24,272
everything I've worked so hard for,

929
01:08:24,355 --> 01:08:28,109
now all that is being ripped away.

930
01:08:28,192 --> 01:08:34,616
As you can imagine,
or as you know, this is hell.

931
01:08:35,283 --> 01:08:37,201
But it gets worse.

932
01:08:39,954 --> 01:08:41,623
Who can take us seriously

933
01:08:41,706 --> 01:08:44,751
when we are so far
from who we once were?

934
01:08:44,834 --> 01:08:48,796
Our strange behavior
and fumbled sentences

935
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:55,845
change others' perceptions of us
and our perception of ourselves.

936
01:08:55,928 --> 01:09:02,393
We become ridiculous, incapable, comic.

937
01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:04,937
But this is not who we are.

938
01:09:05,021 --> 01:09:06,898
This is our disease.

939
01:09:06,981 --> 01:09:10,902
And like any disease, it has a cause,

940
01:09:10,985 --> 01:09:13,237
it has a progression,

941
01:09:13,321 --> 01:09:16,240
and it could have a cure.

942
01:09:16,324 --> 01:09:20,828
My greatest wish is that my children,

943
01:09:20,912 --> 01:09:27,377
our children, the next generation,
do not have to face what I am facing.

944
01:09:28,002 --> 01:09:30,588
But for the time being, I'm still alive.

945
01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:32,465
I know I'm alive.

946
01:09:33,341 --> 01:09:34,842
I have people I love dearly.

947
01:09:36,177 --> 01:09:39,263
I have things I wanna do with my life.

948
01:09:40,473 --> 01:09:45,436
I rail against myself
for not being able to remember things,

949
01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:50,775
but I still have moments in the day
of pure happiness and joy.

950
01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:54,737
And please,
do not think that I am suffering.

951
01:09:54,821 --> 01:09:57,323
I am not suffering.

952
01:09:57,407 --> 01:09:59,242
I am struggling.

953
01:09:59,325 --> 01:10:03,037
Struggling to be a part of things,

954
01:10:03,121 --> 01:10:08,167
to stay connected to who I once was.

955
01:10:09,669 --> 01:10:12,588
'So live in the moment, ' I tell myself.

956
01:10:12,672 --> 01:10:15,174
It's really all I can do.

957
01:10:15,258 --> 01:10:17,343
Live in the moment.

958
01:10:17,427 --> 01:10:21,222
And not beat myself up too much...

959
01:10:21,305 --> 01:10:25,059
And not beat myself up too much

960
01:10:25,143 --> 01:10:29,063
for mastering the art of losing.

961
01:10:30,106 --> 01:10:32,900
One thing I will try
to hold on to, though,

962
01:10:32,984 --> 01:10:35,319
is the memory of speaking here today.

963
01:10:36,154 --> 01:10:37,655
It will go.

964
01:10:37,739 --> 01:10:40,032
I know it will.

965
01:10:40,116 --> 01:10:42,994
It may be gone by tomorrow,

966
01:10:43,703 --> 01:10:50,126
but it means so much
to be talking here today

967
01:10:50,209 --> 01:10:52,754
like my old, ambitious self,

968
01:10:52,837 --> 01:10:55,381
who was so fascinated
by communication."

969
01:11:03,181 --> 01:11:05,892
Thank you for this opportunity.

970
01:11:06,684 --> 01:11:09,020
It means the world to me.

971
01:11:11,773 --> 01:11:13,649
Thank you.

972
01:11:49,227 --> 01:11:51,562
It's the Mayo clinic.

973
01:11:51,646 --> 01:11:54,023
It would start up next spring.

974
01:11:54,106 --> 01:11:56,400
And I'd be heading up my own team.

975
01:11:56,484 --> 01:11:59,487
So you want us to move to...?

976
01:12:00,404 --> 01:12:01,948
It's in Rochester, Minnesota.

977
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:05,284
Well, it could be
a whole new adventure for us.

978
01:12:05,368 --> 01:12:09,205
- You might even like it there.
- Everything I know is here.

979
01:12:09,288 --> 01:12:13,626
Anna and Tom
and the babies that are coming.

980
01:12:13,709 --> 01:12:17,421
It's just a two-hour flight.
We'd see them as often as we do now.

981
01:12:18,005 --> 01:12:19,549
All, this just came up

982
01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:23,427
and they haven't even made
a formal offer, but don't you see?

983
01:12:23,511 --> 01:12:26,848
This is it. They're working
on many cutting-edge treatments.

984
01:12:26,931 --> 01:12:29,016
- They've got resources.
- I understand.

985
01:12:29,100 --> 01:12:31,978
I understand that work is important.

986
01:12:32,061 --> 01:12:34,605
I miss working.

987
01:12:35,731 --> 01:12:41,529
I think you should ask them
if you can start in a year.

988
01:12:42,738 --> 01:12:45,408
It's not academia.
They don't give sabbaticals.

989
01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:49,579
But to pick up and move

990
01:12:49,662 --> 01:12:53,207
right when... when... when... ugh.

991
01:12:53,916 --> 01:12:55,793
Why can't I say what I wanna say?

992
01:12:55,877 --> 01:12:58,713
Ali, one way or the other,
we'll still be together.

993
01:12:58,796 --> 01:13:01,924
So no time off?

994
01:13:02,008 --> 01:13:05,303
I can't take a year off.
Financially, that's not an option,

995
01:13:05,386 --> 01:13:08,514
and god knows
where we'll be further down the line.

996
01:13:08,598 --> 01:13:10,474
That's it then. That's it.

997
01:13:10,558 --> 01:13:14,478
- What?
- Well, you don't... you don't want that.

998
01:13:14,562 --> 01:13:18,858
A year at home with me, watching this.

999
01:13:21,402 --> 01:13:22,612
I didn't say that.

1000
01:13:22,695 --> 01:13:24,739
You didn't have to.

1001
01:14:36,894 --> 01:14:38,270
Ali, what are you doing?

1002
01:14:38,354 --> 01:14:39,772
I can't find it.

1003
01:14:39,855 --> 01:14:42,316
- You can't find what?
- I can't find my phone.

1004
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:46,112
- It's the middle of the night.
- It's important. It goes off at 8:00

1005
01:14:46,195 --> 01:14:49,156
and it asks me these questions.
I have to find it.

1006
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:52,076
- We'll look for it in the morning.
- I have to find it.

1007
01:14:52,159 --> 01:14:54,578
- Help me find my phone!
- I'll help tomorrow.

1008
01:14:54,662 --> 01:14:57,373
- I promise you. Tomorrow.
- Help me. No! I want it.

1009
01:14:57,456 --> 01:14:59,709
- I'll help you find it.
- Help me find it.

1010
01:14:59,792 --> 01:15:04,296
- I promise, but come to bed. Come.
- Help me. God. Help me find my phone.

1011
01:15:04,380 --> 01:15:07,091
- Come to bed with me, please.
- All right.

1012
01:15:07,174 --> 01:15:10,094
- Please?
- Okay.

1013
01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:11,679
Come on.

1014
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,183
Since the beginning,
I completely understand the situation.

1015
01:15:16,267 --> 01:15:18,102
Hey.

1016
01:15:20,855 --> 01:15:22,940
I look foward to seeing you guys.

1017
01:15:23,024 --> 01:15:27,361
- Hi.
- Hey, mama. Hey.

1018
01:15:28,988 --> 01:15:30,114
It's Anna, mom.

1019
01:15:31,115 --> 01:15:33,409
I thought you were my sister.

1020
01:15:33,492 --> 01:15:35,619
- It's okay.
- How are you feeling?

1021
01:15:35,703 --> 01:15:38,539
Oh, so uncomfortable.

1022
01:15:38,622 --> 01:15:42,001
I can't breathe, I can't sleep.

1023
01:15:42,084 --> 01:15:43,711
Was it like this for you?

1024
01:15:43,794 --> 01:15:45,838
I didn't have two at a time.

1025
01:15:45,921 --> 01:15:47,590
This is true.

1026
01:15:47,673 --> 01:15:50,634
- Did you get the green curry?
- I did. It's right here.

1027
01:15:50,718 --> 01:15:52,595
- Oh, great.
- Everything on track?

1028
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:55,431
Yes. They made a very generous offer.

1029
01:15:55,514 --> 01:15:58,100
- Oh, that's great.
- I guess.

1030
01:15:58,184 --> 01:16:00,269
No, it is. It's the right decision.

1031
01:16:00,770 --> 01:16:02,772
- Would you like some water?
- Yes.

1032
01:16:02,855 --> 01:16:05,816
John, what happened?
Who was on the phone?

1033
01:16:05,900 --> 01:16:09,278
That was that hospital, honey,
the Mayo clinic.

1034
01:16:09,361 --> 01:16:10,821
Is someone sick?

1035
01:16:10,905 --> 01:16:12,615
No. Nothing's wrong.

1036
01:16:12,698 --> 01:16:15,159
Everything's absolutely fine.

1037
01:16:16,952 --> 01:16:18,954
Oh, my god.

1038
01:16:21,373 --> 01:16:23,793
Oh, no.

1039
01:16:25,961 --> 01:16:29,256
I was looking for that last night.

1040
01:16:31,133 --> 01:16:34,178
- That was a month ago.
- Right.

1041
01:17:52,923 --> 01:17:54,884
Ali. Hey.

1042
01:17:57,178 --> 01:17:59,680
Wake up, baby. It's time to wake up.

1043
01:18:00,723 --> 01:18:02,558
It's time to get dressed.

1044
01:18:02,641 --> 01:18:04,560
I'm gonna help you.

1045
01:18:06,437 --> 01:18:08,939
I've got some very good news for you.

1046
01:18:15,654 --> 01:18:18,365
Let me help you with your pants. Come.

1047
01:18:18,949 --> 01:18:22,328
No, I... I want my green one.

1048
01:18:22,411 --> 01:18:25,539
Oh, no, I think this one
will be really, really nice.

1049
01:18:25,623 --> 01:18:27,708
Let's put that one on.

1050
01:18:27,791 --> 01:18:29,335
Okay.

1051
01:18:32,338 --> 01:18:35,507
- Okay. Lean on me.
- Mm-hm.

1052
01:18:37,218 --> 01:18:38,510
Okay, hold on.

1053
01:18:47,519 --> 01:18:49,230
Oh, there she is. Hey.

1054
01:18:49,313 --> 01:18:51,440
What's the matter? She looks terrible.

1055
01:18:51,523 --> 01:18:54,068
Well, she just delivered
the babies, honey.

1056
01:18:57,279 --> 01:19:02,952
- Anna, you had your babies.
- I did, mom.

1057
01:19:04,286 --> 01:19:06,538
- This is Allison.
- You look so beautiful.

1058
01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:08,249
- Thank you.
- That's Charlie Jr.

1059
01:19:08,332 --> 01:19:10,251
- Little Charlie.
- My goodness.

1060
01:19:14,964 --> 01:19:18,217
- There you go.
- Can I hold her?

1061
01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,344
Is that a good idea?

1062
01:19:21,136 --> 01:19:23,514
I know how to hold a baby.

1063
01:19:24,098 --> 01:19:27,643
That's okay. Mom, you can sit
right there in that chair.

1064
01:19:28,352 --> 01:19:31,355
There. That's good.

1065
01:19:32,648 --> 01:19:35,943
There we go. All right.

1066
01:19:38,821 --> 01:19:41,532
Something tells me
you've done this before.

1067
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:53,043
She looks like you.

1068
01:20:03,429 --> 01:20:06,223
There are days
she knows where she is, certainly,

1069
01:20:06,307 --> 01:20:09,184
but there are just as many days
when she doesn't.

1070
01:20:09,768 --> 01:20:13,314
Maybe she thinks she's a child
back in New Hampshire or who knows?

1071
01:20:13,397 --> 01:20:16,817
It's happening more and more.
She doesn't know what's going on.

1072
01:20:16,900 --> 01:20:18,652
Yeah, I just...

1073
01:20:18,736 --> 01:20:22,239
I keep thinking about what she said
in that speech, you know,

1074
01:20:22,323 --> 01:20:24,366
how important her memories are
to who she is.

1075
01:20:24,450 --> 01:20:26,368
Yes, but that was months ago.

1076
01:20:26,452 --> 01:20:29,079
Guys, this is difficult
for all of us.

1077
01:20:29,163 --> 01:20:32,833
But it's important
to remember who Alice was.

1078
01:20:32,916 --> 01:20:35,210
She would not want to be a burden.

1079
01:20:35,294 --> 01:20:38,172
Anna, you have the babies,
you wanna go back to work.

1080
01:20:38,255 --> 01:20:41,550
You're not in a position
to care for her, not seriously, Tom.

1081
01:20:41,633 --> 01:20:43,802
And I can't keep Mayo waiting.

1082
01:20:43,886 --> 01:20:47,639
The beginning of this month, I am gone.
I want to take her with me.

1083
01:20:47,723 --> 01:20:52,227
I will get her the best possible care,
and once she's adjusted to Minnesota,

1084
01:20:52,311 --> 01:20:56,065
she will be happier for it,
and so will all of us.

1085
01:21:00,652 --> 01:21:02,821
- Lydia's gonna flip.
- Oh, so let her.

1086
01:21:02,905 --> 01:21:06,075
- Well, she is.
- Well, she has no right to.

1087
01:21:06,158 --> 01:21:08,994
If she cared, she wouldn't be
on the other side of the country.

1088
01:21:09,078 --> 01:21:11,330
Hot in here.

1089
01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:18,837
Who is he exactly?

1090
01:21:18,921 --> 01:21:22,841
His name is bill Thompson.
He's a manager.

1091
01:21:22,925 --> 01:21:25,469
Why is he so important?

1092
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:28,722
He 'ii open doors for me.

1093
01:21:28,806 --> 01:21:31,725
Get me into auditions
I wouldn't be able to get into.

1094
01:21:31,809 --> 01:21:33,685
Got me some good headshots.

1095
01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:35,729
I see.

1096
01:21:35,813 --> 01:21:38,232
What's his name?

1097
01:21:38,315 --> 01:21:40,150
Bill Thompson.

1098
01:21:40,234 --> 01:21:42,152
He's with Thompson and gould,

1099
01:21:42,236 --> 01:21:44,655
if you wanna look him up.
They're good.

1100
01:21:44,738 --> 01:21:46,907
Kettle's boiling.

1101
01:21:49,785 --> 01:21:51,620
Where's Elena?

1102
01:21:51,703 --> 01:21:55,082
I'm making myself a cup of tea.

1103
01:21:55,165 --> 01:21:59,878
Cool. Where's, uh, your caretaker?

1104
01:22:01,505 --> 01:22:04,174
Elena's not here today.

1105
01:22:04,258 --> 01:22:08,137
Her daughter's sick. She's at the doctor.

1106
01:22:10,097 --> 01:22:11,849
So you're alone?

1107
01:22:13,058 --> 01:22:16,311
I can make myself a cup of tea.

1108
01:22:16,937 --> 01:22:18,480
Okay.

1109
01:22:19,940 --> 01:22:21,400
Okay.

1110
01:22:22,025 --> 01:22:23,777
You wanna check out my headshot?

1111
01:22:23,861 --> 01:22:28,740
If I send you a link,
can you open the file, download the file?

1112
01:22:34,580 --> 01:22:36,290
Okay, um...

1113
01:22:37,833 --> 01:22:39,918
I'll talk to you later. [Love you.

1114
01:22:40,002 --> 01:22:42,254
- Bye.
- Bye.

1115
01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:21,877
Alice, I'm you, and I have something
very important to say to you. Um...

1116
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:26,840
You've reached that point, the point
where you can't answer the questions.

1117
01:23:26,924 --> 01:23:30,219
So this is the next logical step.

1118
01:23:30,302 --> 01:23:32,304
I'm sure of it.

1119
01:23:32,387 --> 01:23:35,098
Because what's happened to you. The...

1120
01:23:35,182 --> 01:23:39,144
You know, the Alzheimer's.
You could see it as tragic, but...

1121
01:23:39,686 --> 01:23:41,939
Your life has been anything but tragic.

1122
01:23:42,022 --> 01:23:44,566
You have had a remarkable career

1123
01:23:44,650 --> 01:23:47,152
and a great marriage

1124
01:23:47,236 --> 01:23:49,696
and three beautiful children.

1125
01:23:52,199 --> 01:23:56,036
All right, listen to me. Um...

1126
01:23:56,662 --> 01:23:58,038
This is important.

1127
01:23:58,121 --> 01:24:01,083
Make sure that you're alone
and go to your bedroom.

1128
01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:04,461
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1129
01:24:04,545 --> 01:24:06,797
Open the top drawer.

1130
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:10,634
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1131
01:24:10,717 --> 01:24:14,263
It says, "take all pills with water."

1132
01:24:14,346 --> 01:24:17,266
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle,

1133
01:24:17,349 --> 01:24:22,437
but it's very important
that you swallow them all, okay?

1134
01:24:22,521 --> 01:24:26,191
And then lie down

1135
01:24:26,275 --> 01:24:28,318
and go to sleep.

1136
01:24:30,779 --> 01:24:34,366
And don't tell anyone
what you're doing, okay?

1137
01:25:03,186 --> 01:25:06,398
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1138
01:25:06,481 --> 01:25:08,483
Open the top drawer.

1139
01:25:08,567 --> 01:25:12,154
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1140
01:25:12,237 --> 01:25:15,616
It says, "take all pills with water."

1141
01:25:18,577 --> 01:25:22,914
Dresser with lamp. Dresser...

1142
01:25:22,998 --> 01:25:26,293
Blue lamp. Dresser.

1143
01:25:38,805 --> 01:25:41,725
Make sure that you're alone
and go to your bedroom.

1144
01:25:41,808 --> 01:25:45,312
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1145
01:25:45,395 --> 01:25:47,439
Open the top drawer.

1146
01:25:47,522 --> 01:25:51,234
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1147
01:25:51,318 --> 01:25:54,905
It says, "take all pills with water."

1148
01:25:54,988 --> 01:25:57,741
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle,

1149
01:25:57,824 --> 01:26:03,080
but it's very important
that you swallow them all, okay?

1150
01:26:03,163 --> 01:26:08,794
And then lie down and go to sleep.

1151
01:26:11,421 --> 01:26:15,759
And don't tell anyone
what you're doing, okay?

1152
01:26:34,861 --> 01:26:36,947
Hello?

1153
01:27:09,688 --> 01:27:12,774
May I have a cookies-and-cream
and a chocolate hazelnut?

1154
01:27:12,858 --> 01:27:14,651
You know what you want.

1155
01:27:14,735 --> 01:27:16,987
Cookies-and-cream
and chocolate hazelnut.

1156
01:27:17,070 --> 01:27:20,407
You usually have the original
with blueberries and coconut.

1157
01:27:20,490 --> 01:27:21,658
Okay.

1158
01:27:21,742 --> 01:27:24,870
Original with blueberries
and coconut, please.

1159
01:27:34,921 --> 01:27:37,758
All, you see that building over there?

1160
01:27:37,841 --> 01:27:39,551
Do you know what that is?

1161
01:27:40,469 --> 01:27:43,013
I don't think I know that.

1162
01:27:43,638 --> 01:27:46,933
That's Columbia, where you used to teach.

1163
01:27:47,809 --> 01:27:51,354
Someone told me I was a good teacher.

1164
01:27:51,438 --> 01:27:54,191
Yes. You were.

1165
01:27:56,318 --> 01:27:57,819
I was really smart.

1166
01:28:00,113 --> 01:28:03,116
You were the smartest person
I've ever met.

1167
01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:12,959
Ali, do you still wanna be here?

1168
01:28:17,547 --> 01:28:19,341
I'm not done yet.

1169
01:28:19,424 --> 01:28:20,759
Do we have to go?

1170
01:28:25,013 --> 01:28:26,723
Don't worry.

1171
01:28:26,807 --> 01:28:28,683
Take your time.

1172
01:28:52,749 --> 01:28:56,837
- Is this all of your stuff?
- I shipped some boxes as well.

1173
01:28:57,337 --> 01:28:59,714
Are you sad to leave L.A.?

1174
01:28:59,798 --> 01:29:02,843
I'm trying to convince myself
I'm an east coast girl.

1175
01:29:02,926 --> 01:29:04,678
Where's mom?

1176
01:29:04,761 --> 01:29:06,721
She's sleeping.

1177
01:29:10,392 --> 01:29:12,978
Well, here it is.

1178
01:29:13,061 --> 01:29:15,105
Your old room.

1179
01:29:16,314 --> 01:29:17,983
Whoa.

1180
01:29:22,988 --> 01:29:25,949
So how did it work out
with your manager?

1181
01:29:26,908 --> 01:29:30,579
It's a west coast company,
you know. Not so good.

1182
01:29:31,246 --> 01:29:34,457
Well, that's too bad.
Are you sure you don't mind?

1183
01:29:36,042 --> 01:29:38,420
We've had this conversation.

1184
01:29:39,045 --> 01:29:40,589
Okay.

1185
01:29:40,672 --> 01:29:44,634
It's New York City.
I'll audition, do theater.

1186
01:29:45,510 --> 01:29:48,471
I know that this is
where I need to be, though, so...

1187
01:29:49,431 --> 01:29:51,808
You're a better man than I am.

1188
01:29:53,310 --> 01:29:56,646
Dad, I've got her, okay?

1189
01:30:42,817 --> 01:30:45,153
It's getting pretty cold, huh?

1190
01:30:45,862 --> 01:30:47,697
Wanna head home?

1191
01:30:49,282 --> 01:30:51,201
Come on, let's do it.

1192
01:31:04,297 --> 01:31:08,551
J“ birds go by above you j“

1193
01:31:09,260 --> 01:31:13,264
j“ sing away your blues j“

1194
01:31:15,266 --> 01:31:17,102
-hey.

1195
01:31:17,769 --> 01:31:19,062
How was your walk?

1196
01:31:19,145 --> 01:31:20,855
I don't think I know you.

1197
01:31:20,939 --> 01:31:23,149
- Yes, you do.
- Hey, mom, it's Elena.

1198
01:31:23,233 --> 01:31:25,276
I'm gonna get you some juice, okay?

1199
01:31:25,360 --> 01:31:28,863
Come, let's take off your coat
and go inside.

1200
01:31:45,422 --> 01:31:49,050
"Night flight to San Francisco,
chase the moon across america.

1201
01:31:49,801 --> 01:31:52,887
God, it's been years
since I was on a plane.

1202
01:31:52,971 --> 01:31:56,391
When we hit 35,000 feet,
we'll have reached the tropopause,

1203
01:31:56,474 --> 01:31:59,728
the great belt of calm air.

1204
01:32:00,895 --> 01:32:05,316
As close to the ozone as I'll get, I...
I dreamed we were there.

1205
01:32:06,026 --> 01:32:09,029
The plane leapt the tropopause,

1206
01:32:09,612 --> 01:32:14,200
the safe air, and attained the outer rim,
the ozone, which was ragged and torn,

1207
01:32:14,284 --> 01:32:18,371
patches of it threadbare
as old cheesecloth, and that was...

1208
01:32:19,122 --> 01:32:20,915
Frightening.

1209
01:32:21,583 --> 01:32:23,251
But I saw something only I could see

1210
01:32:23,334 --> 01:32:26,504
because of my astonishing ability
to see such things.

1211
01:32:28,506 --> 01:32:31,092
Souls were rising...

1212
01:32:32,385 --> 01:32:35,055
From the earth far below,
souls of the dead,

1213
01:32:35,138 --> 01:32:37,682
of people who'd perished

1214
01:32:37,766 --> 01:32:40,810
from famine, from war, from the plague...

1215
01:32:42,604 --> 01:32:48,359
And they floated up,
like skydivers in reverse,

1216
01:32:48,443 --> 01:32:53,156
limbs all akimbo, wheeling, spinning.

1217
01:32:54,282 --> 01:32:57,077
The souls of these departed
joined hands, clasped ankles

1218
01:32:57,160 --> 01:33:01,247
and formed a web, a great net of souls.

1219
01:33:02,791 --> 01:33:06,711
And the souls were three-atom
oxygen molecules of the stuff of ozone,

1220
01:33:06,795 --> 01:33:10,882
and the outer rim absorbed them
and was repaired.

1221
01:33:14,803 --> 01:33:17,388
Because nothing is lost forever.

1222
01:33:21,184 --> 01:33:23,978
In this world,
there's a kind of painful progress.

1223
01:33:24,062 --> 01:33:27,190
A longing for what we've left behind...

1224
01:33:29,192 --> 01:33:31,236
And dreaming ahead.

1225
01:33:32,195 --> 01:33:34,531
At least I think that's so."

1226
01:33:36,950 --> 01:33:38,576
That's it.

1227
01:33:47,710 --> 01:33:48,962
Hey.

1228
01:33:52,590 --> 01:33:54,551
Did you like that?

1229
01:33:58,763 --> 01:34:02,809
- What I just read, did you like it?
- Hm.

1230
01:34:10,775 --> 01:34:12,527
And what...?

1231
01:34:13,736 --> 01:34:15,405
What was it about?

1232
01:34:19,492 --> 01:34:21,119
Love.

1233
01:34:21,870 --> 01:34:22,912
Yeah. Love.

1234
01:34:24,038 --> 01:34:25,707
Yeah, mom.

1235
01:34:27,750 --> 01:34:30,044
It was about love.

1236
01:35:13,713 --> 01:35:16,758
J“ lflhada boatj'

1237
01:35:16,841 --> 01:35:20,136
j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“

1238
01:35:20,220 --> 01:35:22,931
j“ and if! Had a pony j'

1239
01:35:23,598 --> 01:35:26,684
j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“

1240
01:35:26,768 --> 01:35:29,604
j“ and we could all together j"

1241
01:35:30,230 --> 01:35:33,149
j“ go out on the ocean j“

1242
01:35:33,233 --> 01:35:38,238
j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“

1243
01:35:40,156 --> 01:35:43,201
j“ if I were Roy Rogers j"

1244
01:35:43,284 --> 01:35:46,204
j“ I'd sure enough be single j"

1245
01:35:46,287 --> 01:35:51,417
j“ I couldn't bring myself
to marrying old Dale j“

1246
01:35:52,961 --> 01:35:55,964
j“ it'd just be me and triggerj'

1247
01:35:56,047 --> 01:35:59,425
j“ go riding through them movies j“

1248
01:35:59,509 --> 01:36:04,639
j“ then we'd buy a boat
and on the sea we'd sail j“

1249
01:36:05,932 --> 01:36:08,893
j“ and if I had a boat j“

1250
01:36:09,477 --> 01:36:12,397
j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“

1251
01:36:12,480 --> 01:36:15,525
j“ and if! Had a pony j'

1252
01:36:15,608 --> 01:36:18,236
j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“

1253
01:36:18,987 --> 01:36:21,572
j“ and we could all together j"

1254
01:36:22,156 --> 01:36:25,034
j“ go out on the ocean j“

1255
01:36:25,118 --> 01:36:30,373
j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“

1256
01:36:31,874 --> 01:36:34,794
j“ the mystery masked man was smart j“

1257
01:36:34,877 --> 01:36:38,089
j“ he got himself a Tonto j“

1258
01:36:38,172 --> 01:36:42,969
j“ 'cause Tonto did the dirty work
for free j“

1259
01:36:44,679 --> 01:36:47,557
j“ but Tonto he was smarter j“

1260
01:36:47,640 --> 01:36:50,685
j“ and one day said, "kemo sabe j'

1261
01:36:51,269 --> 01:36:57,692
j“ kiss my ass, I bought a boat
I'm going out to sea" j“

1262
01:36:59,235 --> 01:37:01,821
j“ and if I had a boat j“

1263
01:37:02,613 --> 01:37:05,491
j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“

1264
01:37:05,575 --> 01:37:08,286
j“ and if! Had a pony j'

1265
01:37:08,953 --> 01:37:11,331
j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“

1266
01:37:12,040 --> 01:37:14,834
j“ and we could all together j"

1267
01:37:15,335 --> 01:37:18,171
j“ go out on the ocean j“

1268
01:37:18,254 --> 01:37:23,301
j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“

1269
01:37:53,289 --> 01:37:56,709
J“ and if! Were like lightning j“

1270
01:37:56,793 --> 01:38:00,254
j“ I wouldn't need no sneakers j“

1271
01:38:00,338 --> 01:38:06,010
j“ I'd come and go
wherever I would please j“

1272
01:38:06,928 --> 01:38:10,181
j“ and I'd scare 'em by the shade tree j“

1273
01:38:10,264 --> 01:38:13,476
j“ and I'd scare 'em by the light pole j“

1274
01:38:13,559 --> 01:38:20,566
j“ but I would not scare my pony
on my boat out on the sea j“

1275
01:38:22,026 --> 01:38:25,029
j“ and if I had a boat j“

1276
01:38:25,113 --> 01:38:28,366
j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“

1277
01:38:28,449 --> 01:38:30,993
j“ and if! Had a pony j'

1278
01:38:31,786 --> 01:38:35,581
j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“

1279
01:38:36,457 --> 01:38:39,460
j“ and we could all together j"

1280
01:38:39,544 --> 01:38:42,380
j“ go out on the ocean j“

1281
01:38:42,463 --> 01:38:47,510
j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“

1282
01:38:48,970 --> 01:38:52,849
j“ set me upon my pony j“

1283
01:38:52,932 --> 01:38:57,228
j“ on my boat j'