1 00:00:22,861 --> 00:00:24,863 [Indistinct chatter] 2 00:00:26,823 --> 00:00:28,784 [Anna] Okay. Happy birthday, mom. 3 00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:30,452 Oh, is that for me? 4 00:00:30,536 --> 00:00:32,621 [Charlie] You don't look 40, much less 50. 5 00:00:32,704 --> 00:00:35,332 Charlie, please. But thank you. I appreciate it. 6 00:00:35,415 --> 00:00:37,584 - Can I open this now? - [Anna] Yes, open it. 7 00:00:37,668 --> 00:00:39,586 Oh, my goodness. 8 00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,129 [Gasps] 9 00:00:41,213 --> 00:00:43,382 Oh. Oh, I love it. 10 00:00:43,465 --> 00:00:46,385 - [Anna] Do you like it? Oh, good. - It's so beautiful. 11 00:00:46,468 --> 00:00:48,679 - [Anna] You can exchange it. - I'm not going to. 12 00:00:48,762 --> 00:00:51,139 - You always get me things I love. - [Anna] Good. 13 00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,476 - [Tom] Sorry I'm late. - Oh, hey. Hey, isn't Lisa coming? 14 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,103 No. We split up. 15 00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,481 Yes, I did notice your status popped up to single, yet again. 16 00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:03,986 I, uh, forgot your present. I left it in my locker. 17 00:01:04,069 --> 00:01:06,989 That's okay. I hope you didn't spend too much. 18 00:01:07,072 --> 00:01:09,992 - No, don't worry. He didn't. - [John] Where have you been? 19 00:01:10,075 --> 00:01:13,370 The er was like a madhouse. One guy came in, six stab wounds. 20 00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:17,124 - One missed his heart by an inch. - No. Tom, it's dinnertime. Please. 21 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,209 - Not yet it isn't. - [Anna] Nearly. 22 00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:23,213 - What kind of antibiotic did you give him? - Mom, have you spoken to Lydia? 23 00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:27,217 She wanted to be here, but she had a really important audition. 24 00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:30,971 - What for? - A guest spot on some TV thing. 25 00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:33,765 - Something enemy. - Maybe this'll be her big break. 26 00:01:33,849 --> 00:01:37,144 - Mm-hm. Yeah, maybe. - Don't hold your breath. 27 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,478 [Imitates cat shrieking] 28 00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:39,980 [Chuckles] Stop it. 29 00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:42,774 [Charlie] You guys must have been something growing up. 30 00:01:42,858 --> 00:01:44,151 Dolls with heads cut off. 31 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,445 No, my sister and I were very close. 32 00:01:46,528 --> 00:01:49,531 Oh, no. I'm sorry, I was talking about Anna and Lydia. 33 00:01:49,615 --> 00:01:52,534 Oh. My goodness. I don't know why I said that. 34 00:01:52,618 --> 00:01:55,787 We're here to celebrate you, mom. Dad, what about a toast? 35 00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:57,456 Dad. 36 00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:59,291 -Toast. 37 00:01:59,374 --> 00:02:01,168 Yes, yes, yes. 38 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:05,589 To the most beautiful and the most intelligent woman 39 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:09,551 - I have known in my entire life. - Thank you. 40 00:02:09,635 --> 00:02:12,012 - Happy birthday. - [Anna] Cheers! Happy birthday! 41 00:02:12,095 --> 00:02:13,555 - We love you. - I love you too. 42 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,223 - [Tom] Cheers. - Cheers, darling. 43 00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:17,309 [Dramatic music playing] 44 00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:25,984 My name is Frederick Johnson. 45 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,196 I'm associate professor of cognitive science here at ucla. 46 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,699 I'm here to welcome our speaker who just flew in from New York. 47 00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:36,411 Now, in my dissertation, I spent about a chapter and a half 48 00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:40,582 vituperatively citing today's guest and saying why she was wrong. 49 00:02:40,666 --> 00:02:42,626 [Laughter] 50 00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:46,838 For the record, every time that Alice and I have argued, she was right. 51 00:02:46,922 --> 00:02:50,300 Alice howland is the Lillian young professor of linguistics 52 00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:54,137 at Columbia university. She famously wrote her seminal textbook, 53 00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:57,182 from neurons to nouns, while raising three children. 54 00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:59,851 I'm getting more than a few "aha" moments from them. 55 00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:03,188 And it is now considered one of the cornerstones 56 00:03:03,271 --> 00:03:05,899 of linguistics education all over the world. 57 00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:10,153 Please, welcome Dr. Alice howland. 58 00:03:14,282 --> 00:03:16,702 Thank you so much. 59 00:03:17,786 --> 00:03:21,790 Most children speak and understand their mother tongue 60 00:03:21,873 --> 00:03:25,252 before the age of 4, without lessons, homework, 61 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,379 or much in the way of feedback. 62 00:03:27,462 --> 00:03:29,423 How do they accomplish this feat? 63 00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:34,386 This is a question that has interested scientists at least since Charles dan/vin 64 00:03:34,469 --> 00:03:37,889 kept a diary of the early language of his infant son. 65 00:03:37,973 --> 00:03:41,309 He observed, "man has an instinctive tendency to speak 66 00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:44,312 as we see in the babble of young children." 67 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:46,565 Much has been learned since then. 68 00:03:46,648 --> 00:03:50,736 But today I'd like to focus on some recent studies from my lab 69 00:03:50,819 --> 00:03:54,656 on the acquisition of past-tense irregular verb forms in children 70 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,909 between the ages of 18 months and two and a half years. 71 00:03:57,993 --> 00:04:00,203 Now, you may say that this fails 72 00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:03,415 into the academic tradition of knowing more and more 73 00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:06,668 about less and less until we know everything about nothing. 74 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:10,672 But I hope to convince you that by observing these baby steps 75 00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:12,466 into the... 76 00:04:16,762 --> 00:04:18,472 Into, uh... 77 00:04:20,348 --> 00:04:23,769 I... I knew I shouldn't have had that champagne. 78 00:04:23,852 --> 00:04:25,771 [Laughter] 79 00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:30,525 Into the word stock of a given language, 80 00:04:30,609 --> 00:04:32,861 we will learn crucial information 81 00:04:32,944 --> 00:04:36,156 about the relationship between memory and computation 82 00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:40,619 that is the very essence of communication. 83 00:04:40,702 --> 00:04:42,704 [Dramatic music playing] 84 00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:49,252 Lexicon. 85 00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:58,512 [Bleeping] 86 00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:09,439 [Chimes] 87 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,696 [Elevator bell dings] 88 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,282 [Indistinct chatter] 89 00:05:23,787 --> 00:05:26,039 [Man 1] I had that same thought. Makes sense. 90 00:05:26,122 --> 00:05:29,209 - [Woman] I saw it. - [Man 1] Yeah, I thought about that. 91 00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:37,342 [Man 2] Okay. I'm gonna go down and get shel. I'll be right back. 92 00:05:39,594 --> 00:05:40,929 - [Lydia] Hey. - Hi. 93 00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,472 Hey, no, I'm sorry. 94 00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:44,683 You just caught me by surprise. 95 00:05:44,766 --> 00:05:46,184 Come on in. It's, um... 96 00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:50,313 It's messy, but, you know, I was in the process of cleaning. 97 00:05:50,397 --> 00:05:52,107 It's fine, honey. Don't worry. 98 00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:55,902 The boys are total slobs. The kitchen is the main battleground, 99 00:05:55,986 --> 00:05:59,406 but I've got them in training, so we'll see how that goes. 100 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:02,868 - [Alice] So where are they? - Working. 101 00:06:03,368 --> 00:06:06,037 Doug's at Starbucks, Malcolm does some catering. 102 00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:08,999 I guess that's what they mean by working actor, huh? 103 00:06:09,082 --> 00:06:10,667 [Chuckles] 104 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:14,588 - [Alice] You involved with either one? - Uh, Doug's gay. 105 00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:18,675 And Malcolm and I did have a thing, but it's over. 106 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,220 He got me in with open space. 107 00:06:22,304 --> 00:06:25,265 - It's, like, the best theater company. - Yes, I heard. 108 00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:28,935 Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm done. 109 00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,021 [Both chuckle] 110 00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:35,025 It would have been awesome if you saw no exit. 111 00:06:35,108 --> 00:06:39,029 - Daddy said you were good. - I was all right. It wasn't my best night, 112 00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:42,324 but at least he could get, you know, like, a sense of it. 113 00:06:42,866 --> 00:06:45,160 Figure out why he's doing, 114 00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:47,871 you know, me a solid with the company. 115 00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,706 What do you mean? 116 00:06:49,789 --> 00:06:54,419 - Um, it's really nice of him to help out. - How is he helping with the company? 117 00:06:54,502 --> 00:06:57,380 It's our responsibility as members to raise equity 118 00:06:57,464 --> 00:06:58,840 for the productions we put on. 119 00:06:58,924 --> 00:07:01,134 Eventually we get a cut of the box office. 120 00:07:01,217 --> 00:07:03,553 And we're sort of shareholders. 121 00:07:03,637 --> 00:07:05,847 So basically you have to pay to act? 122 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:12,604 It's a theater group. It's just the reality of the situation. 123 00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:14,773 That's how it is. It's Los Angeles. 124 00:07:14,856 --> 00:07:17,567 Don't you think it's time you reconsidered things? 125 00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:21,488 You're so smart. There's much more you could be doing with your life. 126 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,407 - Like going to college? - Yes. Yes. Like college. 127 00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:28,745 Like we've never talked about that before. Every single day of my life. 128 00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:33,500 I figured out what I wanted to do, and I'm doing it. It's a good thing. 129 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:36,670 - But on whose dime? - You're helping Tom with med school. 130 00:07:36,753 --> 00:07:41,424 - You helped Anna with law school. - Sweetheart, those are real careers. 131 00:07:41,508 --> 00:07:43,927 I just don't want you to limit your choices. 132 00:07:44,928 --> 00:07:47,639 - You want to make my choices. - No, I don't. 133 00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:52,686 I'm really happy. 134 00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:56,189 I'm sorry. I don't... 135 00:07:57,232 --> 00:07:59,526 I don't wanna argue about this. 136 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,988 - Just forget I said anything, okay? - It's forgotten. 137 00:08:03,071 --> 00:08:04,447 [Phone chiming] 138 00:08:04,531 --> 00:08:06,866 - Gonna check your phone? - It's just a game. 139 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:10,120 Your sister and I have an obsession with "words with friends." 140 00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:12,789 - That's cute. - You don't wanna play with her, 141 00:08:12,872 --> 00:08:15,583 - she's a demon. - I'm not surprised. 142 00:08:17,544 --> 00:08:19,546 [Dramatic music playing] 143 00:08:37,313 --> 00:08:39,149 John? 144 00:08:49,743 --> 00:08:51,411 John? 145 00:09:04,549 --> 00:09:06,551 [Dramatic music playing] 146 00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:48,718 [Man] Want one? Here you go. 147 00:09:48,802 --> 00:09:51,638 Two for one at the shoe warehouse. 148 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:54,516 Two for one, shoe warehouse. 149 00:09:55,391 --> 00:09:57,393 Two for one at the shoe warehouse. 150 00:09:57,477 --> 00:09:59,479 [Panting] 151 00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:08,947 [Eerie music playing] 152 00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:30,009 [Breathing heavily] 153 00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:49,571 [Woman] So... I don't know. That's all he said. 154 00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:54,617 [Man] Two for one at the shoe warehouse. Here you go. 155 00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:03,168 - One? - No, thanks. 156 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,628 [John] Ali? 157 00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:10,925 - I was wondering where you were. - Don't. I'm really sweaty. 158 00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:13,636 - Oh. How did it go? - What? 159 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,639 - Ucla. - Oh, it was, uh, good. 160 00:11:16,723 --> 00:11:17,974 They were, um... 161 00:11:18,057 --> 00:11:21,436 - They were really receptive. - I'm sure they were. 162 00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:23,813 How was Lydia? 163 00:11:23,897 --> 00:11:26,524 Good. You know... 164 00:11:27,525 --> 00:11:29,903 - You guys argue? - Um... 165 00:11:29,986 --> 00:11:34,616 Well, we spent the whole evening trying not to. 166 00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:41,039 The news that you're bankrolling her theater company didn't help. 167 00:11:41,122 --> 00:11:43,208 - I told you about that. - Mm-mm. 168 00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:45,585 - You didn't. - I thought I did. 169 00:11:45,668 --> 00:11:48,671 - You didn't. - You're not gonna like this either, 170 00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:50,882 but I have things to do at the lab. 171 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:55,053 - Maybe walk me over there right now? - No, I don't wanna go back to campus. 172 00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:58,723 I just went for a run. I really need to be home right now. 173 00:12:00,475 --> 00:12:03,561 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just... 174 00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:06,064 You said we were gonna spend the evening in. 175 00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,400 I did. We will. The sooner I go, the sooner I'll be back, 176 00:12:09,484 --> 00:12:12,070 and we can watch a movie. 177 00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:15,365 I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted. 178 00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,035 Get some rest. 179 00:12:19,118 --> 00:12:20,745 Relax. 180 00:12:20,828 --> 00:12:22,121 [Sighs] 181 00:12:31,005 --> 00:12:34,092 [Alice] I started forgetting things, little annoying things 182 00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:35,718 like words and names. 183 00:12:35,802 --> 00:12:38,429 And I got lost, completely lost, 184 00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:39,847 running on campus. 185 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,642 I talked to my doctor, she said it could be menopause. 186 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,894 Last time I'd had a period was February. 187 00:12:44,978 --> 00:12:47,939 But I had one again, in September, before my birthday. 188 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:51,192 [Benjamin] Are you taking any pills, medication, supplements? 189 00:12:51,276 --> 00:12:55,571 I take a multivitamin, flaxseed oil, calcium, iron. 190 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:58,366 I occasionally take a sleeping pill when I travel. 191 00:12:58,449 --> 00:13:01,327 - Have you had any head injuries? - No. 192 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,249 Would you consider yourself depressed or under undue stress at the moment? 193 00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,710 No. I work a lot, but I thrive on it. 194 00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:12,255 - How's your sleeping? - It's fine. Like, seven hours a night. 195 00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,466 Now, I'm gonna ask you to remember a name and an address. 196 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:18,011 - I'm gonna ask you for it again later. - Okay. 197 00:13:18,094 --> 00:13:22,098 John black, 42 Washington street, hoboken. 198 00:13:22,181 --> 00:13:24,267 - Can you repeat that for me? - John black, 199 00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:27,020 42 Washington street, hoboken. 200 00:13:27,103 --> 00:13:29,731 - Good. How old are you? - I'm 50. 201 00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:32,025 - What's today's date? - November 26th. 202 00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:34,402 - Where are we? - We are on the third floor. 203 00:13:34,485 --> 00:13:36,112 Of New York-presbyterian. 204 00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:37,905 Can you spell "water" for me? 205 00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:43,870 - Now can you spell it for me backwards? - R-e-t-a—w. 206 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,873 Can you tell me what you see on these cards? 207 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,416 Pliers. 208 00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:52,587 A sea horse. 209 00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,756 A screwdriver. 210 00:13:54,839 --> 00:13:57,383 - An elephant. - Good. 211 00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:01,137 - Tell me about your parents. - Well, they're both dead. 212 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:05,099 My mother and my sister died in a car crash when I was 18, 213 00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:08,394 and my father died in 1999 of liver failure. 214 00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,646 - Hepatitis? - Cirrhosis. 215 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,231 He was an alcoholic. 216 00:14:12,315 --> 00:14:15,151 And what was he like towards the end? 217 00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:18,446 Incoherent. Incontinent. 218 00:14:18,529 --> 00:14:21,115 We didn't really see a lot of each other. 219 00:14:21,199 --> 00:14:25,286 He lived in New Hampshire, and we weren't that close. 220 00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:27,038 Sorry. 221 00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:31,709 - Do you have any other siblings? - No. I only had the one. 222 00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:35,880 Now, can you tell me that name and address that I asked you to remember? 223 00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,965 Um, John black. 224 00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:40,593 Mm-hm. And the address? 225 00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:45,598 Damn it, I forgot. Heh. 226 00:14:45,681 --> 00:14:47,683 Was it 42 argyle street, 227 00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:51,646 Cole street, Washington street, or south street? 228 00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:57,026 I was distracted talking about my parents. Can we do that again? 229 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,987 - There's no need to at this time. - Okay. 230 00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:03,783 So I'd like to do an mri, just to rule some things out. 231 00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:05,243 Like what? 232 00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:07,912 Because I think I have a brain tumor. 233 00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:11,749 A precaution. But it will allow us to see if there are any lesions 234 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:16,003 or any signs of a stroke. Just find out what is going on in there. 235 00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:20,883 Okay. What should I do in the meantime? 236 00:15:20,967 --> 00:15:24,595 Get plenty of exercise. It's always good to get the blood pumping. 237 00:15:24,679 --> 00:15:25,930 Drink lots of water. 238 00:15:26,013 --> 00:15:28,349 Good hydration is excellent for the memory. 239 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:32,270 Next time you come and see me, bring in someone who knows you well? 240 00:15:32,353 --> 00:15:35,606 Your husband or a close relative? 241 00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,817 Heh. Sure. 242 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,902 [Dramatic music playing] 243 00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:58,212 ["God rest ye merry gentleman" playing over speakers] 244 00:16:11,476 --> 00:16:13,644 [Timer ringing] 245 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:16,314 Uh, stethoscope, 246 00:16:16,397 --> 00:16:17,899 millennium, 247 00:16:17,982 --> 00:16:19,775 hedgehog. 248 00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:23,905 Okay. 249 00:16:23,988 --> 00:16:25,740 Okay. 250 00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,702 Cathode. 251 00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:36,667 Pomegranate. 252 00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:39,670 Trellis. 253 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,423 Okay. 254 00:16:47,929 --> 00:16:50,306 - [Door closes] - [Tom] Hello! 255 00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:52,225 Hi. Come on in. 256 00:16:52,308 --> 00:16:54,060 - Hey, mom. Hi. - Hey, hi. 257 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,478 Good to see you. 258 00:16:55,561 --> 00:16:57,688 - This is Jenny. - Hello. I'm Alice. 259 00:16:57,772 --> 00:17:00,024 - I'm happy you could join us. - Thank you. 260 00:17:00,107 --> 00:17:02,527 Of course. Sweetheart, why don't you guys 261 00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,238 go in there and get a drink, and grab the...? 262 00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:07,657 The cheese thing and... [laughs] 263 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:08,908 - All right. - [Tom] Yeah. 264 00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,868 I'm so happy you could join us. 265 00:17:10,952 --> 00:17:12,995 - I really am, Jenny. - Thank you. 266 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,289 - It smells so good in here. - [Tom] Beautiful. 267 00:17:15,373 --> 00:17:18,000 - [Jenny] Yeah. - That's how we do it. 268 00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,046 Okay. 269 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:26,842 [Sighs] 270 00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:29,095 How many goddamn eggs? 271 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:30,513 [Timer ringing] 272 00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:34,392 Cathode, pomegranate, 273 00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:36,644 trellis? 274 00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:39,063 -Hey, mom. 275 00:17:39,146 --> 00:17:41,357 - Merry Christmas. - Oh, merry Christmas. 276 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,067 How was your flight? 277 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:46,696 Actually, awful. This guy coughed all over me the entire time. 278 00:17:46,779 --> 00:17:48,906 - I hope you don't get sick. - Me too. 279 00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:51,409 - Does this mean what I think it means? - Yes. 280 00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,202 - Bread pudding? - Your favorite. 281 00:17:53,286 --> 00:17:55,246 - Yes. - [Anna] Mom. Merry Christmas. 282 00:17:55,329 --> 00:17:56,747 - Hi. - [Charlie] Hello. 283 00:17:56,831 --> 00:18:00,084 - Seen my latest "words with friends"? - I haven't had time. 284 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,419 - A real zinger. - Yeah? 285 00:18:01,502 --> 00:18:03,397 - [Charlie] "Jealousy" on a triple. - [Alice] Hey! 286 00:18:03,421 --> 00:18:05,965 - Don't spoil it. - Already trending on Twitter. 287 00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:07,466 How's California? 288 00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:08,718 - Nice. - Yeah? 289 00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,219 Warmer than here? 290 00:18:10,303 --> 00:18:13,347 Yeah. [Chuckles] Definitely warmer than here. 291 00:18:13,848 --> 00:18:17,184 Hey, guys, why don't you get out of here, 292 00:18:17,268 --> 00:18:19,437 so I can concentrate on making this. 293 00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:21,314 Okay? 294 00:18:21,397 --> 00:18:23,733 - Where's dad? - He's upstairs. 295 00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:24,984 Can I help you? 296 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,361 No, I'm fine. Go get a drink or something. 297 00:18:27,445 --> 00:18:30,781 - It's gonna be delicious. Yum. It will be. - Oh, I hope so. 298 00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:32,366 I can't wait. 299 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,076 - Jenny. - [Charlie] Nice to meet you. 300 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,037 [Jenny] Nice to meet you too. 301 00:18:37,204 --> 00:18:38,844 - [Anna] Hi, Jenny. - [Jenny] How are you? 302 00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:40,833 - Hi. - [Anna] Hi. 303 00:18:40,916 --> 00:18:42,293 [Tom] Honestly. 304 00:18:42,376 --> 00:18:44,378 - [Anna] Hey. - [Charlie] Slider. 305 00:18:44,462 --> 00:18:46,464 [Indistinct chatter] 306 00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:50,551 It's a very big decision. We're excited. 307 00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:52,928 The place was recommended by friends 308 00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:57,433 who've been trying for years, and they just had their first child, so... heh. 309 00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:58,851 So we'll see. 310 00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:01,562 - I've heard good things about wellspring. - Good. 311 00:19:01,646 --> 00:19:04,523 It's expensive, but we obviously want it to work. 312 00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:06,484 [Tom] You can't be a mom already. 313 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,902 [Anna] I know! 314 00:19:07,985 --> 00:19:09,445 - Okay. - [Tom] Are you kidding? 315 00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:12,782 - What kind of soup, mom? - Here we go. It's butternut squash. 316 00:19:12,865 --> 00:19:15,826 Hi, I'm Alice. I'm so happy you could join us. 317 00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:20,289 - I'm Jenny. - It's really nice to meet you. 318 00:19:20,373 --> 00:19:22,625 - Well, I think... - Yeah... 319 00:19:22,708 --> 00:19:25,544 I deserve a glass of wine after that, don't you? 320 00:19:25,628 --> 00:19:27,797 - [Lydia] You want white? - Yes. Thank you. 321 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,132 - Does everyone have a glass? - [Anna] Yes, we do. 322 00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:34,345 Let's have a toast. To Christmas. 323 00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:36,347 [All] Merry Christmas. 324 00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:39,225 - Merry Christmas. - [Tom] Merry Christmas. 325 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,894 [Benjamin] Now, I don't see anything abnormal in your mri. 326 00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:44,397 No cerebral vascular disease, 327 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,316 - no evidence of strokes, no masses. - Thank god. 328 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,236 And your blood work came back completely clear, 329 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:54,281 but what worries me are the memory tests that I sent you for. 330 00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:59,286 You have sporadic memory impairment totally out of proportion to your age. 331 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:03,958 And there is evidence of decline in your level of mental function. 332 00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:07,169 I think we should do a pet scan. It's similar to an mri, 333 00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:09,714 but it can pick up things at the molecular level. 334 00:20:09,797 --> 00:20:14,051 I know what a pet scan is. What in particular would you be looking for? 335 00:20:14,844 --> 00:20:19,432 I wanna see if the results are consistent with Alzheimer's disease. 336 00:20:19,515 --> 00:20:23,018 Now, it would be rare for someone as young as yourself, 337 00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:26,313 but you do fit the criteria. 338 00:20:28,107 --> 00:20:30,735 Last time, I asked you to bring a close relative. 339 00:20:30,818 --> 00:20:33,320 I really didn't think that would be necessary. 340 00:20:33,404 --> 00:20:36,282 Okay. But next time, for sure. 341 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,825 Okay? 342 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,871 "Enhancement of endogenous levels of endorphin 343 00:20:41,954 --> 00:20:45,166 has not been shown to reduce incidence of metastasis 344 00:20:45,249 --> 00:20:47,126 in the distant cell sites." 345 00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:49,712 - That's not good. - Tell me about it. 346 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:52,131 We've been working on this for months. 347 00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:55,217 It seems beta endorphin doesn't significantly impact 348 00:20:55,301 --> 00:20:57,720 the microphage activity. 349 00:20:57,803 --> 00:21:00,097 What about the cytokines? 350 00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:02,933 Elevated. Slightly. 351 00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,604 Oh, god. Back to square one. 352 00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:13,819 - Are we both here on the 17th? - Um... 353 00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,529 I don't remember. 354 00:21:15,613 --> 00:21:19,742 Phil and Diane were saying they might come to town for the weekend. 355 00:21:25,748 --> 00:21:28,417 How long are you going to keep at that thing? 356 00:21:28,501 --> 00:21:30,586 Till it's clean. 357 00:22:15,714 --> 00:22:16,966 [Sighs] 358 00:22:30,688 --> 00:22:32,898 John, sweetheart, wake up. 359 00:22:37,069 --> 00:22:40,155 - What time is it? - I need to talk to you. 360 00:22:42,408 --> 00:22:43,951 I've, um... 361 00:22:44,869 --> 00:22:47,496 I've got something wrong with me. 362 00:22:49,832 --> 00:22:51,750 What are you talking about? 363 00:22:51,834 --> 00:22:54,795 I've been seeing a neurologist. 364 00:22:54,879 --> 00:22:57,715 You've been seeing a neurologist? Why? 365 00:22:57,798 --> 00:23:01,886 They think that it might be early-onset Alzheimer's disease. 366 00:23:04,722 --> 00:23:07,766 Ali, Ali, that doesn't make any sense at all. 367 00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,894 They don't know anything for sure. 368 00:23:09,977 --> 00:23:13,105 But I've been doing all these tests and I'm really scared. 369 00:23:13,188 --> 00:23:17,443 - Ali, that is completely insane. - I got... 370 00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:21,822 I got lost while I was running on campus a while ago. I can't... 371 00:23:21,906 --> 00:23:26,243 I can't remember appointments, words. 372 00:23:26,327 --> 00:23:28,329 Honey, we all have memory lapses. 373 00:23:28,412 --> 00:23:29,788 That's a sign of getting older. 374 00:23:29,872 --> 00:23:34,418 The other day, I couldn't remember the word, um, "glucose." 375 00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:35,669 It's not like that. 376 00:23:35,753 --> 00:23:38,964 It's like something just drop... Drops out under me. 377 00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:42,343 - But there is no diagnosis yet? - No. 378 00:23:42,426 --> 00:23:46,555 Okay. Well, then I think that this is ridiculous. It's complete bullshit. 379 00:23:46,639 --> 00:23:50,017 - You don't have Alzheimer's. - Why won't you take me seriously?! 380 00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:51,644 I know what I'm feeling. 381 00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:55,564 I know what it's feeling, and it feels like my brain is fucking dying. 382 00:23:55,648 --> 00:23:59,485 And everything I've worked for in my entire life is going. 383 00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:01,153 It's all... all going. 384 00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:04,198 [Alice sobbing] 385 00:24:04,281 --> 00:24:05,574 Come here. 386 00:24:07,451 --> 00:24:09,286 Don't cry. 387 00:24:09,370 --> 00:24:11,372 [Alice sobbing] 388 00:24:21,048 --> 00:24:23,467 [Woman on radio] Most of them are still awaiting trial. 389 00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:26,053 They have not been found guilty. 390 00:24:26,136 --> 00:24:29,932 Last year, officials at rikers reported to the board of corrections 391 00:24:30,015 --> 00:24:33,602 - that on a typical day... - [John] What time is your tutorial? 392 00:24:33,686 --> 00:24:35,479 Eleven. 393 00:24:35,562 --> 00:24:37,856 Well, that gives you some time. 394 00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:43,737 I'm gonna be a little late because I have a departmental meeting. 395 00:24:43,821 --> 00:24:46,865 When I come back, we can go to dinner, have Thai food? 396 00:24:46,949 --> 00:24:48,450 Yeah, okay. 397 00:24:50,452 --> 00:24:51,662 [Chuckles] 398 00:24:51,745 --> 00:24:54,206 I'm okay. I just... 399 00:24:55,582 --> 00:24:58,627 Last night just got the better of me, that's all. 400 00:24:58,711 --> 00:25:03,048 Well, two things: I think it's way too early to jump to any conclusions... 401 00:25:05,718 --> 00:25:07,928 And whatever happens, I'm here. 402 00:25:09,972 --> 00:25:12,433 You can clearly see in here... 403 00:25:12,516 --> 00:25:16,562 The red areas are high in beta-amyloid. 404 00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:20,524 The buildup has probably been ongoing for several years. 405 00:25:21,942 --> 00:25:23,027 I'm sorry. 406 00:25:23,986 --> 00:25:26,905 There is evidence of high amyloid in older people 407 00:25:26,989 --> 00:25:29,283 with normal cognitive function, correct? 408 00:25:29,908 --> 00:25:32,911 Yes, but not in someone as young as Alice. 409 00:25:33,704 --> 00:25:35,956 Well, at least it would be extremely rare. 410 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,543 High amyloid is associated with conditions other than Alzheimer's. 411 00:25:39,626 --> 00:25:41,962 Unfortunately, in Alice's case, 412 00:25:42,046 --> 00:25:45,632 this corroborates the clinical symptoms that she is presenting. 413 00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:48,844 Shouldn't any diagnosis be accompanied by a genetic test? 414 00:25:48,927 --> 00:25:52,514 - Hold on a minute, please. - Actually, I was gonna suggest that. 415 00:25:52,598 --> 00:25:55,642 In a case like this, with the onset being so early, 416 00:25:55,726 --> 00:26:00,481 we would like to check for presenilin mutations that would be an indicator 417 00:26:00,564 --> 00:26:04,860 of familial Alzheimer's disease, which is a rarer form. 418 00:26:04,943 --> 00:26:06,987 We can make an appointment for you. 419 00:26:07,071 --> 00:26:10,866 - So this concerns my children? - Yes. 420 00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:14,453 I assume that if I have the gene, 421 00:26:14,536 --> 00:26:17,498 the odds of my passing it along are fifty-fifty. 422 00:26:17,581 --> 00:26:18,916 I'm afraid so. 423 00:26:18,999 --> 00:26:23,587 And if they are carriers, what are the odds of them developing the disease? 424 00:26:23,670 --> 00:26:26,381 I'm afraid it's 100%. 425 00:26:27,174 --> 00:26:31,553 [Woman on pa] Radiology technician, please dial extension 256. 426 00:26:33,806 --> 00:26:36,433 The kids will all be here for our anniversary. 427 00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:39,394 I don't think we should tell them, not until we have the results. 428 00:26:39,478 --> 00:26:43,357 We will by then, if I go in next week. I wanna know as soon as possible. 429 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,736 Where the hell is this goddamn elevator? Here we are in a major hospital. 430 00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,988 - Only one elevator running? - It's okay. 431 00:26:50,072 --> 00:26:53,617 - We could've taken the stairs by now. - It doesn't matter. 432 00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:55,119 [John sighs] 433 00:26:56,203 --> 00:26:58,163 [Automated voice] Going down. 434 00:27:05,838 --> 00:27:10,884 Well, um, everybody... 435 00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:12,344 What's going on? 436 00:27:15,681 --> 00:27:18,851 - Oh, boy. Uh... - Are you guys gonna break up or...? 437 00:27:21,687 --> 00:27:26,650 - No, it's nothing like that. It... - [Anna] Mom, are you sick? 438 00:27:31,363 --> 00:27:34,616 I have been seeing a neurologist for the past few months 439 00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:38,078 and I have Alzheimer's disease. 440 00:27:38,162 --> 00:27:39,955 Early onset. 441 00:27:40,038 --> 00:27:42,958 That... that doesn't make sense. Are...? Are you sure? 442 00:27:43,041 --> 00:27:45,961 There is no doubt. She has the disease. 443 00:27:46,044 --> 00:27:48,255 [Tom] But at her age, it's... 444 00:27:48,338 --> 00:27:50,465 It is rare, but it has been confirmed. 445 00:27:50,549 --> 00:27:52,593 - Yeah. - [Anna] You're so young, mom. 446 00:27:55,554 --> 00:27:59,600 - I don't understand that. - [Lydia] I had noticed one or two things. 447 00:27:59,683 --> 00:28:02,603 You didn't know Tom's girlfriend when she came over... 448 00:28:02,686 --> 00:28:05,522 - Lydia. - [Tom] What medications are you on? 449 00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:08,150 Right now, I'm on Aricept and Namenda. 450 00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:10,027 [Tom] They can help slow the progress? 451 00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:12,029 - Well, no. - I'm afraid not. 452 00:28:12,112 --> 00:28:13,947 Help alleviate the symptoms, 453 00:28:14,031 --> 00:28:17,117 - but they can't prevent the disease. - John, the thing is 454 00:28:17,201 --> 00:28:20,245 that the type of Alzheimer's I have 455 00:28:20,329 --> 00:28:23,290 is very rare. 456 00:28:24,958 --> 00:28:29,254 It's familial. It's passed on genetically. 457 00:28:29,338 --> 00:28:30,172 Oh, my god. 458 00:28:30,255 --> 00:28:32,716 [John] We believe that she got it from her father 459 00:28:32,799 --> 00:28:36,094 and, of course, we're very worried about the three of you. 460 00:28:36,178 --> 00:28:38,347 Now, there is a test you can take, 461 00:28:38,430 --> 00:28:43,227 but it's completely up to you whether you wanna find out or not. 462 00:28:44,269 --> 00:28:46,146 I'm sorry. 463 00:28:47,481 --> 00:28:49,274 I'm so... 464 00:28:51,068 --> 00:28:53,070 [Dramatic music playing] 465 00:29:07,709 --> 00:29:09,711 [Indistinct chatter] 466 00:29:45,330 --> 00:29:49,293 Can anyone tell me what it says in the syllabus for today? 467 00:29:51,628 --> 00:29:52,879 [Man] Phonology. 468 00:29:52,963 --> 00:29:56,466 And can anyone tell me what phonology is? 469 00:30:02,806 --> 00:30:06,643 "Phono" is from the Greek word "phone," meaning "sound," 470 00:30:06,727 --> 00:30:11,315 and phonology, broadly speaking, is the study of the sounds of language. 471 00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:13,859 It should be distinguished from phonetics. 472 00:30:21,283 --> 00:30:23,285 [Cell phone ringing] 473 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,790 Hi, Anna. 474 00:30:28,874 --> 00:30:30,334 Hi, mom. 475 00:30:30,417 --> 00:30:32,461 Are you okay? 476 00:30:33,128 --> 00:30:36,340 I got the results. I'm positive. 477 00:30:36,423 --> 00:30:39,343 Oh, god, Anna. 478 00:30:40,302 --> 00:30:43,347 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 479 00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:47,768 Tom turned out negative, and Lydia didn't wanna know. 480 00:30:47,851 --> 00:30:49,394 But I'm positive. 481 00:30:49,478 --> 00:30:52,105 Baby, how are you feeling? 482 00:30:52,189 --> 00:30:54,149 I'm okay. 483 00:30:55,692 --> 00:30:59,988 One good thing, at least I found out now before the next iui session. 484 00:31:00,072 --> 00:31:02,115 I guess they can test the embryos, 485 00:31:02,199 --> 00:31:04,826 so they can be sure the babies will be okay. 486 00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:09,164 I'm on my way to a lecture, but I can cancel it and I can be right there. 487 00:31:09,247 --> 00:31:13,168 No, no, mom, it's okay. I'm with Charlie. I'm okay. 488 00:31:13,251 --> 00:31:17,130 No, I want to. I can... I... I want to be there. I can come. 489 00:31:17,214 --> 00:31:21,218 No, please don't worry. I'll be fine. 490 00:31:21,843 --> 00:31:23,470 Okay. 491 00:31:24,346 --> 00:31:26,681 I love you, sweetheart. 492 00:31:26,765 --> 00:31:28,683 [Love you. 493 00:31:29,684 --> 00:31:32,813 - Bye. - Bye. 494 00:31:36,108 --> 00:31:38,110 [Dramatic music playing] 495 00:32:13,103 --> 00:32:17,065 [Eric] "I had been looking foward to this course, but I was disappointed. 496 00:32:17,149 --> 00:32:22,696 The content was often muddled and delivered with little focus or care. 497 00:32:22,779 --> 00:32:27,075 Class was a waste of time. I ended up just following the online version. 498 00:32:27,159 --> 00:32:30,203 I found linguistics 201 very erratic. 499 00:32:30,287 --> 00:32:34,207 I had a hard time following Dr. Howland's lectures. 500 00:32:34,291 --> 00:32:36,918 Even she seems like she gets lost in them." 501 00:32:37,002 --> 00:32:43,049 Eric, I am so sorry. I... I didn't know the students felt this way. 502 00:32:43,133 --> 00:32:45,594 Obviously, I will... I will make adjustments 503 00:32:45,677 --> 00:32:47,929 and we can reevaluate my performance. 504 00:32:48,013 --> 00:32:50,640 Everything all right at home? Between you and John? 505 00:32:50,724 --> 00:32:54,019 - Yes, everything's fine. - Is it something we can help with? 506 00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:56,021 - Stress, depression? - No, no, no. 507 00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:58,690 - Substance abuse? Alcohol? - No. No. God, Eric. 508 00:32:58,773 --> 00:33:01,651 No, it's... it's nothing like that. I... it's, uh... 509 00:33:01,735 --> 00:33:06,198 It's medical. It's a... it's a medical issue, 510 00:33:06,281 --> 00:33:10,118 and I admit I had a hard time teaching last semester 511 00:33:10,202 --> 00:33:12,704 and I wasn't aware of how much it showed. 512 00:33:12,787 --> 00:33:15,707 Alice, I'm not following. 513 00:33:16,666 --> 00:33:20,295 I have mild cognitive impairment. 514 00:33:20,378 --> 00:33:22,672 Would you unpack that for me? 515 00:33:22,756 --> 00:33:26,718 In February, I was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. 516 00:33:27,511 --> 00:33:29,387 What? 517 00:33:29,471 --> 00:33:33,600 - Alice, oh, my god, I'm sorry. - It's early. It's still early stages. 518 00:33:33,683 --> 00:33:36,228 It will limit my ability as time goes on, 519 00:33:36,311 --> 00:33:39,689 - but for now, I feel capable... - There's no need to... 520 00:33:39,773 --> 00:33:43,193 I mean, we don't want you under any undue stress. 521 00:33:43,276 --> 00:33:46,488 - That would be counterproductive. - I can handle the stress. 522 00:33:46,571 --> 00:33:51,326 I would like to remain in the department for as long as we all think is possible. 523 00:33:53,578 --> 00:33:57,415 Well, I'll have to let the department and the faculty know. 524 00:33:58,625 --> 00:33:59,834 Yes, of course. 525 00:33:59,918 --> 00:34:02,754 I am so, so sorry. 526 00:34:04,756 --> 00:34:06,758 [Dramatic music playing] 527 00:34:44,671 --> 00:34:46,673 [Pop music playing over speakers] 528 00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:53,513 I'll have a regular with blueberries and coconut, please. 529 00:35:08,153 --> 00:35:09,362 [Alice] Hi. 530 00:35:09,446 --> 00:35:10,572 [Door closes] 531 00:35:10,655 --> 00:35:12,824 Alice, where the hell were you? 532 00:35:12,907 --> 00:35:14,200 I went for a run. 533 00:35:14,284 --> 00:35:17,120 You've been gone for over two hours. I was worried. 534 00:35:17,203 --> 00:35:19,122 Well, then I went to pinkberry. 535 00:35:19,205 --> 00:35:21,958 - You went to pinkberry? - Yeah. 536 00:35:22,042 --> 00:35:26,463 Well, I hope you enjoyed that because you completely blew our dinner plans. 537 00:35:27,881 --> 00:35:30,091 Susan Kirby and her husband. 538 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,138 I'm sorry. I forgot. 539 00:35:35,639 --> 00:35:37,766 I have Alzheimer's. 540 00:35:37,849 --> 00:35:39,559 I texted you, I e-mailed you. 541 00:35:39,643 --> 00:35:42,312 - There are ways to manage... - I said I was sorry. 542 00:35:42,395 --> 00:35:45,023 She's the chair of my department. 543 00:35:45,106 --> 00:35:47,942 I had no idea where you were, if something happened. 544 00:35:48,026 --> 00:35:51,321 - Why didn't you bring your phone? - I can't when I'm running. 545 00:35:51,404 --> 00:35:53,865 Wear a Fanny pack. Is it that inhibiting? 546 00:35:59,913 --> 00:36:03,792 - I hate that this is happening to me. - I hate it too. 547 00:36:04,876 --> 00:36:07,712 We have to keep the important things in our life going. 548 00:36:07,796 --> 00:36:10,173 We have to try or we're going to go crazy. 549 00:36:10,256 --> 00:36:11,758 I know. I know, John. 550 00:36:11,841 --> 00:36:16,054 I am, I'm sorry, but I don't know what I would've been like at a dinner party. 551 00:36:16,137 --> 00:36:19,641 I might not be able to remember names or answer simple questions. 552 00:36:19,724 --> 00:36:22,811 - Never mind get through an anecdote. - You're doing great. 553 00:36:22,894 --> 00:36:24,187 Relative to what? 554 00:36:27,607 --> 00:36:29,693 I wish I had cancer. 555 00:36:30,985 --> 00:36:32,320 Don't say that. 556 00:36:32,404 --> 00:36:35,699 No, I do. I mean it. I mean, I wouldn't feel so ashamed. 557 00:36:35,782 --> 00:36:39,619 People have cancer, they wear pink ribbons for you 558 00:36:39,703 --> 00:36:43,081 and go on long walks, and raise money, 559 00:36:43,164 --> 00:36:47,961 and you don't have to feel like some kind of a social... 560 00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,465 I can't remember the word. 561 00:37:01,349 --> 00:37:07,105 In 2013, we completed exterior repairs, and inside, we replaced the elevators, 562 00:37:07,188 --> 00:37:10,483 refurbished the auditorium, the library and lounge area, 563 00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:13,611 - and upgraded our hvac system. - Well, that's good. 564 00:37:13,695 --> 00:37:16,406 We also took away a lot of the old security doors. 565 00:37:16,489 --> 00:37:18,783 Residents are issued a bracelet instead, 566 00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:22,287 which keeps them from using elevators or leaving the building, 567 00:37:22,370 --> 00:37:23,788 depending on their level. 568 00:37:23,872 --> 00:37:26,291 I don't know if you've experienced this with your parent, 569 00:37:26,374 --> 00:37:29,711 but they get nighttime restlessness and wandering. 570 00:37:29,794 --> 00:37:33,923 We can prevent their elopement without patients feeling they're locked in. 571 00:37:34,007 --> 00:37:35,175 I see. 572 00:37:35,258 --> 00:37:39,888 [Woman] We saw that large group activities left most of the residents unengaged 573 00:37:39,971 --> 00:37:44,392 and even distressed by the confusion they experienced from all the stimulation. 574 00:37:44,476 --> 00:37:46,853 So we redefined activities 575 00:37:46,936 --> 00:37:51,107 to include all interactions between staff and residents in the unit. 576 00:37:51,191 --> 00:37:55,403 Staff looks for opportunities to make meaningful connections with residents, 577 00:37:55,487 --> 00:38:00,033 starting with knowing about the person and what makes them comfortable. 578 00:38:00,116 --> 00:38:02,994 One woman who had worked as a nurse sat, most days, 579 00:38:03,077 --> 00:38:05,288 in the nursing station, writing notes. 580 00:38:05,371 --> 00:38:06,539 Heartbreaking. 581 00:38:06,623 --> 00:38:09,751 Yes, but it's a behavior we see time and again. 582 00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,295 We don't have restrictions on visiting times. 583 00:38:12,378 --> 00:38:14,798 Family and friends are welcome day or night. 584 00:38:14,881 --> 00:38:17,509 - Doesn't look like anybody's here. - Sunday is the day they come. 585 00:38:17,592 --> 00:38:18,468 [Alarm beeping] 586 00:38:18,551 --> 00:38:20,220 - [Alice] What's that? - Chair alarm. 587 00:38:20,303 --> 00:38:22,514 Certain residents have them, so we know they're up. 588 00:38:22,597 --> 00:38:25,141 - [Alice] She all right? - [Woman] Just a precautionary measure. 589 00:38:25,225 --> 00:38:27,977 - [Old woman] Get me to penn station. - It's all women. 590 00:38:28,061 --> 00:38:31,314 We do have mainly female residents here, but there are men. 591 00:38:31,397 --> 00:38:34,025 There's William. William was part of the team 592 00:38:34,108 --> 00:38:36,986 - that sent the first satellite into orbit. - Mm-hm. 593 00:38:37,737 --> 00:38:39,739 [Dramatic music playing] 594 00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:52,836 They just aren't powerful enough to put me to sleep. 595 00:38:52,919 --> 00:38:54,587 Do you want to try Lunesta? 596 00:38:54,671 --> 00:38:56,339 What about rohypnol? 597 00:38:56,422 --> 00:38:57,757 That's very strong. 598 00:38:57,841 --> 00:39:00,009 I need something strong. 599 00:39:10,436 --> 00:39:11,855 Hi, Alice. 600 00:39:11,938 --> 00:39:16,401 I am you and I have something very important to say to you. 601 00:39:16,484 --> 00:39:20,613 So you've reached the point where you can no longer answer 602 00:39:20,697 --> 00:39:22,198 any of the questions. 603 00:39:22,282 --> 00:39:25,535 So this is the next logical step. 604 00:39:25,618 --> 00:39:27,537 I'm sure of it. 605 00:39:27,620 --> 00:39:30,582 In your bedroom there's a dresser with a blue lamp. 606 00:39:31,165 --> 00:39:32,876 Open the top drawer. 607 00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:36,254 In the back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. 608 00:39:36,337 --> 00:39:39,340 It says, "take all pills with water." 609 00:39:39,424 --> 00:39:42,176 Now, there are a lot of pills in that bottle, 610 00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:45,805 but it's very important that you swallow them all. 611 00:39:46,556 --> 00:39:52,312 Okay? And then lie down and go to sleep. 612 00:39:53,021 --> 00:39:55,773 And don't tell anyone what you're doing. 613 00:40:30,642 --> 00:40:32,644 [Dramatic music playing] 614 00:41:32,578 --> 00:41:34,664 [John] Ali! 615 00:41:34,747 --> 00:41:36,666 Ali! 616 00:41:44,966 --> 00:41:46,342 Oh, I love it here. 617 00:41:46,426 --> 00:41:47,885 Me too. 618 00:41:47,969 --> 00:41:49,971 ["If I had a boat" playing] 619 00:41:57,562 --> 00:42:02,608 J“ and if I had a boat I'd go out on the ocean j“ 620 00:42:03,401 --> 00:42:06,237 [Alice laughing] 621 00:42:08,489 --> 00:42:11,034 - [Alice] Remember santorini? - Santorini. 622 00:42:11,117 --> 00:42:16,080 - Can you believe that was 30 years ago? - Don't do that to me. Oh, my god. 623 00:42:16,164 --> 00:42:18,499 Oh, it was a complicated time, huh? 624 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,544 You were dealing with a lot. What was it, a year after? 625 00:42:21,627 --> 00:42:24,338 - Yeah, something like that. - Yeah. 626 00:42:24,422 --> 00:42:25,631 I know I've said this, 627 00:42:25,715 --> 00:42:28,843 but I am sorry I never got to meet your mom or your sister. 628 00:42:28,926 --> 00:42:30,762 Me too. 629 00:42:31,554 --> 00:42:33,056 We had a great time, though. 630 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,935 - Yeah. - Don't you wish we had more of that? 631 00:42:38,519 --> 00:42:41,731 If you mean blow jobs on the beach, yes. 632 00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:44,358 - Yeah, but, you know. - I do wish we had more. 633 00:42:44,442 --> 00:42:46,652 Yeah, all of it. 634 00:42:47,195 --> 00:42:49,072 It all happened so fast, you know. 635 00:42:49,155 --> 00:42:51,741 Anna was born, oui' careers. 636 00:42:51,824 --> 00:42:53,618 Well, you were relentless. 637 00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:56,746 You wanted everything and all at once. 638 00:42:56,829 --> 00:43:00,583 That's how I am. That's how I like it. 639 00:43:01,626 --> 00:43:03,419 Anna's the same way, right? 640 00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:06,255 I like you the way you are. 641 00:43:07,965 --> 00:43:10,051 I like everything about you. 642 00:43:10,134 --> 00:43:12,053 Thank god you do. 643 00:43:12,136 --> 00:43:14,388 Mm. Mmm. 644 00:43:16,766 --> 00:43:18,392 This is so great, you know. 645 00:43:18,476 --> 00:43:19,894 I kind of like it. 646 00:43:19,977 --> 00:43:23,022 Being liberated from Columbia. 647 00:43:23,106 --> 00:43:26,109 Why don't you take a sabbatical next year? 648 00:43:26,692 --> 00:43:29,403 And we're gonna do what, drive around the country in an rv? 649 00:43:29,487 --> 00:43:30,780 [Both laugh] 650 00:43:30,863 --> 00:43:34,534 Sure. I don't know, we could spend more time here. 651 00:43:34,617 --> 00:43:35,785 Go to Bhutan. 652 00:43:35,868 --> 00:43:39,747 Well, I think our summer on the island is all the excitement I can handle. 653 00:43:39,831 --> 00:43:42,458 Okay. Well, you know what? 654 00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:46,337 This might be the last year that I'm myself, you know? 655 00:43:51,884 --> 00:43:53,970 Please don't say that. 656 00:44:17,618 --> 00:44:19,412 John? 657 00:44:19,495 --> 00:44:21,414 I'm over here! 658 00:44:21,497 --> 00:44:25,418 Oh, hey, when are you going to the conference? 659 00:44:26,919 --> 00:44:28,337 On Monday. 660 00:44:28,421 --> 00:44:31,465 - And when is Lydia coming? - Lydia comes on Sunday. 661 00:44:31,549 --> 00:44:34,093 She doesn't have to come just to babysit me. 662 00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:37,638 She's coming to do the Chekhov play at saugatuck, remember? 663 00:44:38,347 --> 00:44:40,391 - Right. - When I get finished, 664 00:44:40,474 --> 00:44:44,145 - are we gonna go for a run? - Yeah, I need to grab another layer. 665 00:44:44,228 --> 00:44:45,688 Okay. 666 00:44:59,911 --> 00:45:01,913 [Dramatic music playing] 667 00:45:27,605 --> 00:45:30,983 - Hey, are we still going running? - Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, look. 668 00:45:31,067 --> 00:45:33,569 Look, I found this photo album 669 00:45:33,653 --> 00:45:35,988 with these pictures of my mother and my sister. 670 00:45:37,657 --> 00:45:40,701 Hey, when are you going to the conference? 671 00:45:41,619 --> 00:45:44,121 - Monday. - And when is Lydia coming? 672 00:45:44,205 --> 00:45:46,457 Lydia's coming on Sunday. 673 00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:48,125 Okay. 674 00:45:49,377 --> 00:45:51,170 - Are we going running? - Yes. 675 00:45:51,254 --> 00:45:53,339 Yes, we are. I just have to go pee. 676 00:45:53,422 --> 00:45:55,132 I'll be right back. 677 00:45:58,844 --> 00:46:00,846 [Eerie music playing] 678 00:46:58,154 --> 00:47:00,156 [Footsteps approaching] 679 00:47:02,283 --> 00:47:03,909 [John] Ali? 680 00:47:07,163 --> 00:47:09,665 I couldn't find the bathroom. 681 00:47:09,749 --> 00:47:12,209 It's okay, baby. Come on, let's get you cleaned up. 682 00:47:12,293 --> 00:47:13,419 [Alice sobbing] 683 00:47:13,502 --> 00:47:15,421 I don't know where I am. 684 00:47:21,218 --> 00:47:23,220 [Sobbing] 685 00:47:26,974 --> 00:47:28,976 [Dramatic music playing] 686 00:47:36,942 --> 00:47:38,694 - [Lydia] I like that necklace. - You do? 687 00:47:38,778 --> 00:47:40,237 - Yeah. - Haven't seen this? 688 00:47:40,321 --> 00:47:42,031 Nope. 689 00:47:42,114 --> 00:47:44,700 My mother gave it to me. 690 00:47:45,451 --> 00:47:48,120 When I was, um, a little girl, 691 00:47:48,204 --> 00:47:52,166 like, in second grade, my teacher told me 692 00:47:52,249 --> 00:47:55,753 that butterflies don't live a long time. They live, like, a month. 693 00:47:55,836 --> 00:47:59,715 And I was so upset, and I went home, and I told my mother, and she said: 694 00:47:59,799 --> 00:48:03,052 "Yeah, but, you know, they have a nice life. 695 00:48:03,135 --> 00:48:05,513 They have a really beautiful life." 696 00:48:05,596 --> 00:48:10,184 So now it always makes me think about my mother's life and my sister's life. 697 00:48:10,267 --> 00:48:14,772 And to a certain extent, you know, my own. 698 00:48:18,567 --> 00:48:21,862 - You are gonna be around for a long time. - Yes, yes. 699 00:48:21,946 --> 00:48:24,198 There's some things I wanna do, you know? 700 00:48:24,281 --> 00:48:28,160 I wanna take a sabbatical with daddy. I don't think that's gonna happen. 701 00:48:28,244 --> 00:48:32,915 And I wanna see Anna have a baby, and I wanna see Tom graduate. 702 00:48:32,998 --> 00:48:36,919 - You will. - And I'd like to see you go to college. 703 00:48:39,672 --> 00:48:43,384 Not for law or medicine or anything, but for drama. 704 00:48:43,467 --> 00:48:46,387 And if the acting thing doesn't work out, you could... 705 00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:50,766 You could teach or do workshops. You'd have some kind of a backup plan. 706 00:48:53,519 --> 00:48:55,813 I don't want a backup plan. 707 00:48:57,857 --> 00:49:01,444 I wanna do this. I'm gonna give it a shot. 708 00:49:01,527 --> 00:49:03,380 It's not gonna happen if I don't believe in myself. 709 00:49:03,404 --> 00:49:06,866 I believe in you, Lydia. I do, I believe in you. 710 00:49:06,949 --> 00:49:09,869 It's just that, you know, life is tough. 711 00:49:09,952 --> 00:49:12,997 It is tougher than you know. 712 00:49:14,457 --> 00:49:18,627 I just... I want you to have some kind of security before I go. 713 00:49:19,670 --> 00:49:21,797 Mom, for god... 714 00:49:21,881 --> 00:49:23,591 You have to... 715 00:49:25,259 --> 00:49:28,554 You can't use your situation to just get me to do everything 716 00:49:28,637 --> 00:49:30,848 - you want me to do. - Why can't I? 717 00:49:30,931 --> 00:49:33,893 - Because that's not fair. - I don't have to be fair. 718 00:49:33,976 --> 00:49:35,895 I'm your mother. 719 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,440 - Right? - Yeah. 720 00:49:39,523 --> 00:49:41,525 [Dramatic music playing] 721 00:49:53,412 --> 00:49:55,581 [Bleeping] 722 00:50:03,589 --> 00:50:05,966 - [Chimes] - [Sighs] 723 00:50:20,105 --> 00:50:22,983 - [John] Hey. - What's going on? 724 00:50:23,067 --> 00:50:25,402 I'm just working, how about you? 725 00:50:26,195 --> 00:50:28,072 Nothing. 726 00:50:30,533 --> 00:50:32,076 I need something to read. 727 00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:36,163 - I thought you were reading Moby-dick. - Yeah, I was, 728 00:50:36,247 --> 00:50:41,335 but I got tired of reading the same page over and over again. I can't focus. 729 00:50:41,418 --> 00:50:44,213 Well, that happens to me when I read Moby-dick too. 730 00:50:44,296 --> 00:50:47,925 - Why don't you try something lighter. - Like the cat in the hat? 731 00:50:48,008 --> 00:50:50,719 How about one of those plays Lydia has downstairs? 732 00:50:50,803 --> 00:50:53,264 They're quicker, they're easier to read. 733 00:50:53,347 --> 00:50:56,308 It might give the two of you something to talk about. 734 00:51:01,647 --> 00:51:03,607 Okay. 735 00:51:11,907 --> 00:51:14,368 You work all the time. 736 00:52:10,716 --> 00:52:15,220 What I liked about it was how... 737 00:52:15,304 --> 00:52:18,849 How big, how... 738 00:52:18,932 --> 00:52:24,063 How wide the scape of it was. 739 00:52:24,146 --> 00:52:25,898 Yeah. The scope of it. 740 00:52:25,981 --> 00:52:28,734 The scope, that's the word. Oh, god, listen to me. Heh. 741 00:52:28,817 --> 00:52:31,445 It's unbelievable you had to live through that. 742 00:52:32,363 --> 00:52:33,947 You must have known... 743 00:52:34,031 --> 00:52:36,492 Must have known somebody that died from aids. 744 00:52:36,575 --> 00:52:40,079 Oh, yeah, honey. Everybody did. 745 00:52:40,663 --> 00:52:43,165 We lost a lot of people. 746 00:52:44,708 --> 00:52:46,585 What did you think? 747 00:52:46,669 --> 00:52:49,755 I mean, you and Malcolm played the mormons, right? 748 00:52:49,838 --> 00:52:53,050 The husband and wife? You did scenes in your acting class. 749 00:52:53,133 --> 00:52:55,052 Yeah, how'd you know that? 750 00:52:56,553 --> 00:52:58,931 I don't know, you must have told me. 751 00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,142 - I didn't tell you. - Mmm. 752 00:53:02,226 --> 00:53:03,977 Well, then... 753 00:53:04,061 --> 00:53:05,854 I don't know how I know it. 754 00:53:07,481 --> 00:53:08,982 Mom, did you read my journal? 755 00:53:14,238 --> 00:53:16,115 Why? 756 00:53:16,198 --> 00:53:18,826 - Why would you do that, mom? - Oh, gosh. 757 00:53:18,909 --> 00:53:21,620 I am so sorry. 758 00:53:21,704 --> 00:53:25,374 Lydia, I honestly didn't understand what I was reading. 759 00:53:25,457 --> 00:53:29,002 You didn't understand "Lydia howland" written across the front? 760 00:53:29,086 --> 00:53:32,297 - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... - I don't believe you. 761 00:53:32,381 --> 00:53:34,091 I didn't mean to. 762 00:53:34,174 --> 00:53:35,551 Okay, it's fine. 763 00:53:35,634 --> 00:53:37,344 I just can't... 764 00:53:37,428 --> 00:53:40,472 - Lydia, I didn't... I really didn't know. - Just stop! 765 00:53:40,556 --> 00:53:42,933 I wouldn't do that to you. 766 00:53:43,976 --> 00:53:45,269 [Door slams] 767 00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:47,730 - So you can't eat this. - No, I know. 768 00:53:47,813 --> 00:53:51,859 No Sushi, no hot do... Hot dogs are the worst. I love hot dogs. 769 00:53:51,942 --> 00:53:53,610 - No alcohol. - No alcohol. 770 00:53:53,694 --> 00:53:55,904 - No cigarettes. - Never even smoked. 771 00:53:55,988 --> 00:53:57,573 Well, you... I mean... 772 00:53:57,656 --> 00:54:00,743 - [John] You've never had one cigarette? - [Anna] Not one. 773 00:54:00,826 --> 00:54:02,619 [Charlie] We can't be too careful. 774 00:54:02,703 --> 00:54:06,915 He even grabbed my hand the other day as we were walking down the stairs. 775 00:54:06,999 --> 00:54:11,295 - [Charlie] Protecting my investment. - Anna, return my "words with friends." 776 00:54:11,378 --> 00:54:14,631 - Oh, I'm sorry, mom. I haven't had time. - Oh. 777 00:54:14,715 --> 00:54:15,942 - [Charlie] Yeah. - [Lydia] Hey. 778 00:54:15,966 --> 00:54:18,218 - Hey, hey. Thank you. - Congrats. 779 00:54:20,095 --> 00:54:22,848 - There you are. - Thanks. So twins, huh? 780 00:54:22,931 --> 00:54:25,642 - Yes, a boy and a girl. - Kind of perfect. 781 00:54:25,726 --> 00:54:28,437 - What your mother and I were hoping for. - It's so wonderful. 782 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,856 - [Cell phone vibrating] - Oh, gosh. 783 00:54:30,939 --> 00:54:33,650 I'm sorry, I've gotta take this. Hello? 784 00:54:33,734 --> 00:54:35,819 - How far along are you? - [Anna] Five weeks. 785 00:54:35,903 --> 00:54:39,281 Right now, it's very early days, but, um... 786 00:54:39,364 --> 00:54:42,826 Well, the timing of things, how we found out and when we did, 787 00:54:42,910 --> 00:54:45,954 - well, it really worked out in the end. - [Lydia] Great. 788 00:54:46,038 --> 00:54:49,249 - That's amazing. - [Tom] So, mom, how you feeling? 789 00:54:49,333 --> 00:54:50,959 - Mostly fine. - Really? 790 00:54:51,043 --> 00:54:54,880 Yeah, I use this thing, you know, instead of a memory. 791 00:54:54,963 --> 00:54:57,758 Reminds me to take my medication, things like that. 792 00:54:57,841 --> 00:55:00,052 It's nice how the technology can help. 793 00:55:00,135 --> 00:55:04,181 - [Anna] I think it has the same... - Lydia, what time is your play? 794 00:55:04,264 --> 00:55:05,599 Eight o'clock. 795 00:55:05,682 --> 00:55:07,768 - Nervous about tomorrow night? - [Lydia] Yes. 796 00:55:07,851 --> 00:55:09,770 I'll be fine, but I'll have to block you out. 797 00:55:09,853 --> 00:55:10,896 [Charlie chuckles] 798 00:55:10,979 --> 00:55:12,564 I'm sorry. What time again? 799 00:55:12,648 --> 00:55:14,107 - [Lydia] Eight o'clock. - Okay. 800 00:55:14,191 --> 00:55:18,028 - You don't have to schedule it. - I wanna put it in. And where is it? 801 00:55:18,111 --> 00:55:20,239 - The saugatuck theater. - Can you spell that? 802 00:55:20,322 --> 00:55:22,825 - [Lydia] S-a-u... - Mom, we're not gonna forget you. 803 00:55:22,908 --> 00:55:24,326 [Lydia] Just let her do it. 804 00:55:24,409 --> 00:55:27,454 - It's s-a—u-g-a-t-u-c-k. - Oh, god. 805 00:55:27,538 --> 00:55:29,248 - Anna, you're not helping. - You're not. 806 00:55:29,331 --> 00:55:31,834 Why worry about remembering something she doesn't have to? 807 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:33,961 If you just let her, she won't worry. 808 00:55:34,044 --> 00:55:37,631 You don't have to talk about her like she's not sitting here. 809 00:55:37,714 --> 00:55:39,633 I'm not, I'm talking to her. 810 00:55:39,716 --> 00:55:41,051 - Aren't I, mom? - Yes, you are. 811 00:55:41,134 --> 00:55:43,679 - Yes, and what makes you an expert? - Shut up. 812 00:55:43,762 --> 00:55:45,222 - Grow up, Lydia. - Suck it. 813 00:55:45,305 --> 00:55:46,765 That's very articulate. 814 00:55:46,849 --> 00:55:48,392 Girls, girls, you know... 815 00:55:48,475 --> 00:55:50,727 - [Lydia] Are you kidding me? - That's enough. 816 00:55:50,811 --> 00:55:52,980 - Stop it, please. - [Anna] You shut up. 817 00:55:53,063 --> 00:55:55,983 - No, both of you, stop it. - [John] What is going on here? 818 00:55:57,901 --> 00:56:00,654 Alice, this is a beautiful spread. 819 00:56:01,363 --> 00:56:02,948 Thank you, Charlie. 820 00:56:04,116 --> 00:56:05,242 [Tom] Very valuable... 821 00:56:05,325 --> 00:56:09,580 Lydia, baby, I know that we argued about something yesterday, 822 00:56:09,663 --> 00:56:13,083 but I can't remember what it was about. 823 00:56:13,166 --> 00:56:14,710 [Sighing] Oh. 824 00:56:14,793 --> 00:56:18,005 - It was nothing, honestly. - No, I upset you. 825 00:56:18,088 --> 00:56:22,259 And I should apologize. 826 00:56:24,887 --> 00:56:27,097 No, no. 827 00:56:27,180 --> 00:56:28,515 I should apologize. 828 00:56:30,601 --> 00:56:34,146 I feel really bad. I was so insensitive yesterday. 829 00:56:36,857 --> 00:56:38,650 Will you forgive me, honestly? 830 00:56:39,526 --> 00:56:41,361 But for what? 831 00:56:41,445 --> 00:56:47,910 It was about you respecting my privacy, and I don't want that. 832 00:56:47,993 --> 00:56:50,996 And I take it back completely. 833 00:56:51,622 --> 00:56:53,707 And I'm sorry, okay? 834 00:56:53,790 --> 00:56:55,751 I'm sorry. 835 00:56:59,671 --> 00:57:02,507 - It's not as if I can remember it. - [Both chuckle] 836 00:57:02,591 --> 00:57:06,345 Yeah, I know. That's why I tried to drop it. 837 00:57:06,428 --> 00:57:08,138 [Both laugh] 838 00:57:13,518 --> 00:57:15,437 What's it like? 839 00:57:17,189 --> 00:57:20,567 - Like, what does it actually feel like? - Mmm. 840 00:57:20,651 --> 00:57:24,488 Well, it's not always the same. 841 00:57:24,571 --> 00:57:28,492 You know, I have, uh... I have good days and bad days. 842 00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:35,290 And on my good days, I can, you know, almost pass for a normal person. 843 00:57:35,374 --> 00:57:40,379 But on my bad days, I feel like I can't find myself. Um... 844 00:57:42,214 --> 00:57:48,762 I've always been so defined by my intellect, 845 00:57:48,845 --> 00:57:52,891 my language, my articulation, 846 00:57:52,975 --> 00:57:57,104 and now, sometimes, I can see the words hanging in front of me 847 00:57:57,187 --> 00:57:59,982 and I can't reach them. I don't know who I am, 848 00:58:00,065 --> 00:58:02,651 and I don't know what I'm gonna lose next. 849 00:58:08,532 --> 00:58:10,158 Sounds horrible. 850 00:58:15,998 --> 00:58:17,833 Thanks for asking. 851 00:58:20,252 --> 00:58:22,254 [Dramatic music playing] 852 00:58:46,278 --> 00:58:48,363 Oh, Lydia. 853 00:58:50,323 --> 00:58:52,617 They're leaving us. 854 00:58:52,701 --> 00:58:54,661 One has quite left us. 855 00:58:54,745 --> 00:58:57,372 Quite and forever. 856 00:58:57,456 --> 00:59:01,293 We alone remain to begin our lives over again. 857 00:59:01,376 --> 00:59:03,045 We must live. 858 00:59:03,128 --> 00:59:05,422 We must live. 859 00:59:06,173 --> 00:59:10,010 There will come a time when we all will know why... 860 00:59:10,761 --> 00:59:13,889 For what purpose there is all of this suffering... 861 00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:18,143 And there will be no mystery. 862 00:59:18,226 --> 00:59:20,270 But now we must live. 863 00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:24,608 We must work, just work. 864 00:59:25,817 --> 00:59:28,278 Tomorrow I'll go off on my own and I'll teach. 865 00:59:28,361 --> 00:59:32,365 I'll give everything I have to those who might, perhaps, need it. 866 00:59:34,242 --> 00:59:36,203 It's Autumn now. 867 00:59:36,995 --> 00:59:40,874 Soon it will be winter. The snow will cover everything. 868 00:59:41,708 --> 00:59:43,794 And I'll be working. 869 00:59:45,921 --> 00:59:47,839 Just working. 870 00:59:49,549 --> 00:59:51,885 [Applause] 871 00:59:55,847 --> 00:59:58,433 [John & Tom whooping] 872 01:00:07,234 --> 01:00:08,819 [Indistinct chatter] 873 01:00:08,902 --> 01:00:12,114 [Woman 1] There she is. Hey, you were amazing. 874 01:00:12,197 --> 01:00:14,449 [Woman 2] Yes, you were so good. 875 01:00:14,533 --> 01:00:18,245 - [Woman 3] Incredible. - [Man 1] You killed it, totally. 876 01:00:18,995 --> 01:00:21,206 [John] Miss howland, would you sign this for me? 877 01:00:21,289 --> 01:00:22,958 [Lydia laughs] 878 01:00:23,708 --> 01:00:25,752 [Alice] It was just wonderful. 879 01:00:25,836 --> 01:00:28,880 I... I found it so easy to empathize with her. 880 01:00:28,964 --> 01:00:33,301 You... you really caught her despair but also herjoy. 881 01:00:34,469 --> 01:00:37,347 Thank you. Awesome. 882 01:00:37,430 --> 01:00:40,892 Will we get to see you in anything else this summer? 883 01:00:40,976 --> 01:00:43,687 Um, no, this is the only job I got. 884 01:00:43,770 --> 01:00:46,731 Oh, so you're here for just the season. 885 01:00:51,027 --> 01:00:53,530 - Yeah. - [Anna] Mom. Mom. 886 01:00:54,406 --> 01:00:56,867 This is Lydia, your daughter. 887 01:00:57,576 --> 01:01:00,579 - No, I... I know that. - [Lydia chuckles] 888 01:01:01,997 --> 01:01:05,667 Um... thanks for coming. Weird, embarrassing. 889 01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:09,421 Don't be embarrassed. Don't, please. Please don't be. 890 01:01:11,464 --> 01:01:13,550 Hammer. 891 01:01:17,596 --> 01:01:20,682 Oh, I know what that is. 892 01:01:20,765 --> 01:01:23,393 It is like a chicken, but it's not. 893 01:01:24,311 --> 01:01:27,314 It is a duck. 894 01:01:27,397 --> 01:01:28,815 [Benjamin] How about this one? 895 01:01:28,899 --> 01:01:30,066 [Alice] A basketball. 896 01:01:30,775 --> 01:01:34,237 - Can you spell water for me backwards? - Could I spell it fon/vard first? 897 01:01:48,335 --> 01:01:49,711 That's very good. 898 01:01:49,794 --> 01:01:52,672 Now, can you tell me that name I asked you to remember? 899 01:01:52,756 --> 01:01:56,551 Ugh. You always tell me, and I can never remember it. 900 01:01:56,635 --> 01:02:02,474 Was it John black, John white, John Jones, or John Smith? 901 01:02:03,725 --> 01:02:07,312 And his address, was it east street, Washington street, 902 01:02:07,395 --> 01:02:09,856 humboldt street, or main street? 903 01:02:09,940 --> 01:02:14,361 Just to jump in here, we're both concerned about the rate of deterioration. 904 01:02:14,444 --> 01:02:18,073 - Is that normal? - Well, every case is different. 905 01:02:18,156 --> 01:02:21,993 With familial early onset, things can go fast. 906 01:02:22,077 --> 01:02:27,040 And with people who have a high level of education, things can go faster. 907 01:02:27,624 --> 01:02:30,460 They've managed to sustain their mental processes 908 01:02:30,543 --> 01:02:34,756 through innovative means and that delays diagnosis. 909 01:02:34,839 --> 01:02:39,552 Now, clearly, Alice's memory is failing, but she's still incredibly resourceful. 910 01:02:39,636 --> 01:02:41,054 Thank you. 911 01:02:41,137 --> 01:02:43,515 I know you're... you're discouraged, 912 01:02:44,099 --> 01:02:47,185 but sometimes I've seen patients plateau at this point. 913 01:02:48,353 --> 01:02:50,313 Don't lose hope. 914 01:02:50,397 --> 01:02:55,110 I read your name in the Alzheimer's association care conference brochure. 915 01:02:55,193 --> 01:02:57,821 - You're gonna give a speech. - Will you be there? 916 01:02:57,904 --> 01:02:59,948 Yes. I'm looking foward to it. 917 01:03:00,031 --> 01:03:04,202 I'm going to be away on business in Minnesota, and I'm worried. 918 01:03:04,286 --> 01:03:08,123 Are you sure this is a good idea, considering the state that she's in? 919 01:03:08,206 --> 01:03:11,626 - She's gonna be under a lot of stress. - It'll be great for her. 920 01:03:11,710 --> 01:03:15,005 Everything will be fine. But you're not worried about it, 921 01:03:15,088 --> 01:03:18,216 - are you, Alice? - No, I don't think so. 922 01:03:18,300 --> 01:03:24,180 "Various ways to prevent the production of amyloid 923 01:03:24,264 --> 01:03:26,266 are being tried. 924 01:03:26,349 --> 01:03:29,269 There is a new study 925 01:03:29,352 --> 01:03:33,982 that combines base and gamma secretase inhibitors, 926 01:03:34,065 --> 01:03:38,862 and this is one of our best hopes for the future." 927 01:03:38,945 --> 01:03:41,281 That's it. That's the end. 928 01:03:41,364 --> 01:03:44,242 It's good, mom. It's good. 929 01:03:44,993 --> 01:03:48,246 - It's very scientific. - Yes, well, you know. 930 01:03:48,330 --> 01:03:52,917 Yeah. And I'm sure it's valid, but, um... 931 01:03:53,001 --> 01:03:54,669 But what? 932 01:03:54,753 --> 01:03:58,673 I mean, is there any value in making it a bit more personal? 933 01:03:58,757 --> 01:04:00,717 I don't understand what you mean. 934 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,846 You know, you're not speaking to a room of scientists. 935 01:04:04,929 --> 01:04:09,351 What I wanna know, really, is, like, how you feel, what does it feel like? 936 01:04:09,434 --> 01:04:11,811 What does this disease mean to you? 937 01:04:11,895 --> 01:04:14,606 You weren't listening because that's all there. 938 01:04:14,689 --> 01:04:16,191 That's in the speech. 939 01:04:16,274 --> 01:04:17,859 Okay. 940 01:04:17,942 --> 01:04:22,989 - Don't ask me, then. - Oh, no, then I won't ask, then. 941 01:04:27,744 --> 01:04:29,162 Hey. 942 01:04:29,788 --> 01:04:32,624 Mom, just give it one more shot, okay? 943 01:04:32,707 --> 01:04:36,044 I can't because I have done it already. 944 01:04:37,629 --> 01:04:41,299 I... I use this... 945 01:04:42,217 --> 01:04:45,053 Yellow... yellow thingy to Mark it, 946 01:04:45,136 --> 01:04:51,726 so I don't have to read the same line over and over and over and over again. 947 01:04:51,810 --> 01:04:53,395 Got it. Totally. 948 01:04:53,478 --> 01:04:55,355 Just print out one more. 949 01:04:55,438 --> 01:04:57,565 It took me three days to write this. 950 01:04:57,649 --> 01:05:02,195 - You can print out one more. - No, it took me three days. 951 01:05:02,278 --> 01:05:03,696 - Sorry. - Three days. 952 01:05:03,780 --> 01:05:05,281 [Computer bleeps] 953 01:05:21,631 --> 01:05:24,884 [Indistinct chatter] 954 01:05:29,139 --> 01:05:31,057 [Woman] Here you are. 955 01:05:31,683 --> 01:05:33,351 [Alice] Thank you. 956 01:05:46,364 --> 01:05:48,450 - [Benjamin] Hello there. - Hello. 957 01:05:49,576 --> 01:05:52,871 Hi. Oh, Tom, this is my doctor. 958 01:05:52,954 --> 01:05:54,414 - My son. - Travis Benjamin. 959 01:05:54,497 --> 01:05:57,167 - I'm your mother's neurologist. - My son, Tom. 960 01:05:57,250 --> 01:06:00,253 - Pleasure. - So how you feeling, Alice? 961 01:06:00,336 --> 01:06:02,005 I think I'm nervous. 962 01:06:02,088 --> 01:06:04,841 You're gonna do great. Break a leg. 963 01:06:04,924 --> 01:06:07,051 - Nice to meet you. - Yeah. 964 01:06:10,513 --> 01:06:15,268 It is a great honor to welcome our next speaker, Alice howland. 965 01:06:15,351 --> 01:06:18,104 A former professor of linguistics at Columbia, 966 01:06:18,188 --> 01:06:22,317 she's written textbooks and has lectured all over the world. 967 01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,069 Alice is living with early-onset Alzheimer's 968 01:06:25,153 --> 01:06:28,573 with the care and support of her loving family. 969 01:06:28,656 --> 01:06:31,910 Please welcome Alice howland. 970 01:06:31,993 --> 01:06:33,995 [Applause] 971 01:06:40,084 --> 01:06:43,630 Please give me just a minute. 972 01:06:51,012 --> 01:06:52,764 "Good morning. 973 01:06:52,847 --> 01:06:55,350 It's an honor to be here. 974 01:06:55,975 --> 01:06:59,354 The poet Elizabeth bishop once wrote: 975 01:06:59,437 --> 01:07:03,733 'The art of losing isn't hard to master. 976 01:07:03,816 --> 01:07:07,654 So many things seem filled with the intent to be lost 977 01:07:07,737 --> 01:07:10,949 that their loss is no disaster.' 978 01:07:11,032 --> 01:07:12,867 I am not a poet. 979 01:07:12,951 --> 01:07:16,996 I am a person living with early-onset Alzheimer's. 980 01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:24,087 And as that person, I find myself learning the art of losing every day. 981 01:07:27,882 --> 01:07:33,137 Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, 982 01:07:33,221 --> 01:07:35,765 but mostly, losing memories." 983 01:07:35,848 --> 01:07:37,767 Oh, no. 984 01:07:43,898 --> 01:07:46,651 Thank you. Um... 985 01:07:47,277 --> 01:07:50,655 I think I'll try to forget that just happened. 986 01:07:50,738 --> 01:07:52,198 [Laughter] 987 01:07:56,536 --> 01:08:00,248 "All my life, I've accumulated memories. 988 01:08:00,331 --> 01:08:04,711 They've become, in a way, my most precious possessions. 989 01:08:04,794 --> 01:08:07,255 The night I met my husband, 990 01:08:08,256 --> 01:08:11,384 the first time I held my textbook in my hands, 991 01:08:12,552 --> 01:08:18,850 having children, making friends, traveling the world. 992 01:08:18,933 --> 01:08:21,060 Everything I accumulated in life, 993 01:08:21,686 --> 01:08:24,272 everything I've worked so hard for, 994 01:08:24,355 --> 01:08:28,109 now all that is being ripped away. 995 01:08:28,192 --> 01:08:34,616 As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. 996 01:08:35,283 --> 01:08:37,201 But it gets worse. 997 01:08:37,869 --> 01:08:39,871 [Dramatic music playing] 998 01:08:39,954 --> 01:08:41,623 Who can take us seriously 999 01:08:41,706 --> 01:08:44,751 when we are so far from who we once were? 1000 01:08:44,834 --> 01:08:48,796 Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences 1001 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:55,845 change others' perceptions of us and our perception of ourselves. 1002 01:08:55,928 --> 01:09:02,393 We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. 1003 01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:04,937 But this is not who we are. 1004 01:09:05,021 --> 01:09:06,898 This is our disease. 1005 01:09:06,981 --> 01:09:10,902 And like any disease, it has a cause, 1006 01:09:10,985 --> 01:09:13,237 it has a progression, 1007 01:09:13,321 --> 01:09:16,240 and it could have a cure. 1008 01:09:16,324 --> 01:09:20,828 My greatest wish is that my children, 1009 01:09:20,912 --> 01:09:27,377 our children, the next generation, do not have to face what I am facing. 1010 01:09:28,002 --> 01:09:30,588 But for the time being, I'm still alive. 1011 01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:32,465 I know I'm alive. 1012 01:09:33,341 --> 01:09:34,842 I have people I love dearly. 1013 01:09:36,177 --> 01:09:39,263 I have things I wanna do with my life. 1014 01:09:40,473 --> 01:09:45,436 I rail against myself for not being able to remember things, 1015 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:50,775 but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. 1016 01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:54,737 And please, do not think that I am suffering. 1017 01:09:54,821 --> 01:09:57,323 I am not suffering. 1018 01:09:57,407 --> 01:09:59,242 I am struggling. 1019 01:09:59,325 --> 01:10:03,037 Struggling to be a part of things, 1020 01:10:03,121 --> 01:10:08,167 to stay connected to who I once was. 1021 01:10:09,669 --> 01:10:12,588 'So live in the moment, ' I tell myself. 1022 01:10:12,672 --> 01:10:15,174 It's really all I can do. 1023 01:10:15,258 --> 01:10:17,343 Live in the moment. 1024 01:10:17,427 --> 01:10:21,222 And not beat myself up too much... 1025 01:10:21,305 --> 01:10:25,059 And not beat myself up too much 1026 01:10:25,143 --> 01:10:29,063 for mastering the art of losing. 1027 01:10:30,106 --> 01:10:32,900 One thing I will try to hold on to, though, 1028 01:10:32,984 --> 01:10:35,319 is the memory of speaking here today. 1029 01:10:36,154 --> 01:10:37,655 It will go. 1030 01:10:37,739 --> 01:10:40,032 I know it will. 1031 01:10:40,116 --> 01:10:42,994 It may be gone by tomorrow, 1032 01:10:43,703 --> 01:10:50,126 but it means so much to be talking here today 1033 01:10:50,209 --> 01:10:52,754 like my old, ambitious self, 1034 01:10:52,837 --> 01:10:55,381 who was so fascinated by communication." 1035 01:11:03,181 --> 01:11:05,892 Thank you for this opportunity. 1036 01:11:06,684 --> 01:11:09,020 It means the world to me. 1037 01:11:11,773 --> 01:11:13,649 Thank you. 1038 01:11:33,419 --> 01:11:34,754 [Chuckles] 1039 01:11:36,005 --> 01:11:38,007 [Thunder rumbling] 1040 01:11:49,227 --> 01:11:51,562 [John] It's the Mayo clinic. 1041 01:11:51,646 --> 01:11:54,023 It would start up next spring. 1042 01:11:54,106 --> 01:11:56,400 And I'd be heading up my own team. 1043 01:11:56,484 --> 01:11:59,487 So you want us to move to...? 1044 01:12:00,404 --> 01:12:01,948 It's in Rochester, Minnesota. 1045 01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:05,284 Well, it could be a whole new adventure for us. 1046 01:12:05,368 --> 01:12:09,205 - You might even like it there. - Everything I know is here. 1047 01:12:09,288 --> 01:12:13,626 Anna and Tom and the babies that are coming. 1048 01:12:13,709 --> 01:12:17,421 It's just a two-hour flight. We'd see them as often as we do now. 1049 01:12:18,005 --> 01:12:19,549 All, this just came up 1050 01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:23,427 and they haven't even made a formal offer, but don't you see? 1051 01:12:23,511 --> 01:12:26,848 This is it. They're working on many cutting-edge treatments. 1052 01:12:26,931 --> 01:12:29,016 - They've got resources. - I understand. 1053 01:12:29,100 --> 01:12:31,978 I understand that work is important. 1054 01:12:32,061 --> 01:12:34,605 I miss working. 1055 01:12:35,731 --> 01:12:41,529 I think you should ask them if you can start in a year. 1056 01:12:42,738 --> 01:12:45,408 It's not academia. They don't give sabbaticals. 1057 01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:49,579 But to pick up and move 1058 01:12:49,662 --> 01:12:53,207 right when... when... when... ugh. 1059 01:12:53,916 --> 01:12:55,793 Why can't I say what I wanna say? 1060 01:12:55,877 --> 01:12:58,713 Ali, one way or the other, we'll still be together. 1061 01:12:58,796 --> 01:13:01,924 So no time off? 1062 01:13:02,008 --> 01:13:05,303 I can't take a year off. Financially, that's not an option, 1063 01:13:05,386 --> 01:13:08,514 and god knows where we'll be further down the line. 1064 01:13:08,598 --> 01:13:10,474 That's it then. That's it. 1065 01:13:10,558 --> 01:13:14,478 - What? - Well, you don't... you don't want that. 1066 01:13:14,562 --> 01:13:18,858 A year at home with me, watching this. 1067 01:13:21,402 --> 01:13:22,612 I didn't say that. 1068 01:13:22,695 --> 01:13:24,739 You didn't have to. 1069 01:13:27,783 --> 01:13:29,785 [Eerie music playing] 1070 01:14:36,894 --> 01:14:38,270 [John] Ali, what are you doing? 1071 01:14:38,354 --> 01:14:39,772 I can't find it. 1072 01:14:39,855 --> 01:14:42,316 - You can't find what? - I can't find my phone. 1073 01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:46,112 - It's the middle of the night. - It's important. It goes off at 8:00 1074 01:14:46,195 --> 01:14:49,156 and it asks me these questions. I have to find it. 1075 01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:52,076 - We'll look for it in the morning. - I have to find it. 1076 01:14:52,159 --> 01:14:54,578 - Help me find my phone! - I'll help tomorrow. 1077 01:14:54,662 --> 01:14:57,373 - I promise you. Tomorrow. - Help me. No! I want it. 1078 01:14:57,456 --> 01:14:59,709 - I'll help you find it. - Help me find it. 1079 01:14:59,792 --> 01:15:04,296 - I promise, but come to bed. Come. - Help me. God. Help me find my phone. 1080 01:15:04,380 --> 01:15:07,091 - Come to bed with me, please. - All right. 1081 01:15:07,174 --> 01:15:10,094 - Please? - Okay. 1082 01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:11,679 [John] Come on. 1083 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,183 [John] Since the beginning, I completely understand the situation. 1084 01:15:16,267 --> 01:15:18,102 [Anna] Hey. 1085 01:15:20,855 --> 01:15:22,940 [John] I look foward to seeing you guys. 1086 01:15:23,024 --> 01:15:27,361 - Hi. - Hey, mama. Hey. 1087 01:15:28,988 --> 01:15:30,114 It's Anna, mom. 1088 01:15:31,115 --> 01:15:33,409 I thought you were my sister. 1089 01:15:33,492 --> 01:15:35,619 - It's okay. - How are you feeling? 1090 01:15:35,703 --> 01:15:38,539 Oh, so uncomfortable. 1091 01:15:38,622 --> 01:15:42,001 I can't breathe, I can't sleep. 1092 01:15:42,084 --> 01:15:43,711 Was it like this for you? 1093 01:15:43,794 --> 01:15:45,838 I didn't have two at a time. 1094 01:15:45,921 --> 01:15:47,590 This is true. 1095 01:15:47,673 --> 01:15:50,634 - [John] Did you get the green curry? - I did. It's right here. 1096 01:15:50,718 --> 01:15:52,595 - Oh, great. - Everything on track? 1097 01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:55,431 Yes. They made a very generous offer. 1098 01:15:55,514 --> 01:15:58,100 - Oh, that's great. - I guess. 1099 01:15:58,184 --> 01:16:00,269 No, it is. It's the right decision. 1100 01:16:00,770 --> 01:16:02,772 - [John] Would you like some water? - Yes. 1101 01:16:02,855 --> 01:16:05,816 John, what happened? Who was on the phone? 1102 01:16:05,900 --> 01:16:09,278 That was that hospital, honey, the Mayo clinic. 1103 01:16:09,361 --> 01:16:10,821 Is someone sick? 1104 01:16:10,905 --> 01:16:12,615 No. Nothing's wrong. 1105 01:16:12,698 --> 01:16:15,159 Everything's absolutely fine. 1106 01:16:16,952 --> 01:16:18,954 Oh, my god. 1107 01:16:19,830 --> 01:16:21,290 [Alice gasps] 1108 01:16:21,373 --> 01:16:23,793 Oh, no. 1109 01:16:25,961 --> 01:16:29,256 I was looking for that last night. 1110 01:16:31,133 --> 01:16:34,178 - [Softly] That was a month ago. - Right. 1111 01:16:38,891 --> 01:16:40,893 [Dramatic music playing] 1112 01:17:04,458 --> 01:17:06,585 [Speaking indistinctly] 1113 01:17:17,388 --> 01:17:19,390 [Vacuum whirring] 1114 01:17:49,170 --> 01:17:51,172 [Squawking] 1115 01:17:52,923 --> 01:17:54,884 [John] Ali. Hey. 1116 01:17:57,178 --> 01:17:59,680 Wake up, baby. It's time to wake up. 1117 01:18:00,723 --> 01:18:02,558 It's time to get dressed. 1118 01:18:02,641 --> 01:18:04,560 I'm gonna help you. 1119 01:18:06,437 --> 01:18:08,939 I've got some very good news for you. 1120 01:18:15,654 --> 01:18:18,365 Let me help you with your pants. Come. 1121 01:18:18,949 --> 01:18:22,328 No, I... I want my green one. 1122 01:18:22,411 --> 01:18:25,539 Oh, no, I think this one will be really, really nice. 1123 01:18:25,623 --> 01:18:27,708 Let's put that one on. 1124 01:18:27,791 --> 01:18:29,335 Okay. 1125 01:18:32,338 --> 01:18:35,507 - Okay. Lean on me. - Mm-hm. 1126 01:18:37,218 --> 01:18:38,510 Okay, hold on. 1127 01:18:38,594 --> 01:18:40,596 [Dramatic music playing] 1128 01:18:47,519 --> 01:18:49,230 Oh, there she is. Hey. 1129 01:18:49,313 --> 01:18:51,440 What's the matter? She looks terrible. 1130 01:18:51,523 --> 01:18:54,068 [John] Well, she just delivered the babies, honey. 1131 01:18:55,027 --> 01:18:57,196 [Baby cooing] 1132 01:18:57,279 --> 01:19:02,952 - Anna, you had your babies. - I did, mom. 1133 01:19:04,286 --> 01:19:06,538 - This is Allison. - [John] You look so beautiful. 1134 01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:08,249 - [Anna] Thank you. - That's Charlie Jr. 1135 01:19:08,332 --> 01:19:10,251 - Little Charlie. - My goodness. 1136 01:19:12,044 --> 01:19:14,046 - [Baby cooing] - [Charlie chuckles] 1137 01:19:14,964 --> 01:19:18,217 - There you go. - Can I hold her? 1138 01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,344 [Charlie] Is that a good idea? 1139 01:19:21,136 --> 01:19:23,514 I know how to hold a baby. 1140 01:19:24,098 --> 01:19:27,643 That's okay. Mom, you can sit right there in that chair. 1141 01:19:28,352 --> 01:19:31,355 There. That's good. 1142 01:19:32,648 --> 01:19:35,943 [Charlie] There we go. All right. 1143 01:19:38,821 --> 01:19:41,532 [Charlie] Something tells me you've done this before. 1144 01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:53,043 She looks like you. 1145 01:20:03,429 --> 01:20:06,223 [John] There are days she knows where she is, certainly, 1146 01:20:06,307 --> 01:20:09,184 but there are just as many days when she doesn't. 1147 01:20:09,768 --> 01:20:13,314 Maybe she thinks she's a child back in New Hampshire or who knows? 1148 01:20:13,397 --> 01:20:16,817 [Anna] It's happening more and more. She doesn't know what's going on. 1149 01:20:16,900 --> 01:20:18,652 [Tom] Yeah, I just... 1150 01:20:18,736 --> 01:20:22,239 I keep thinking about what she said in that speech, you know, 1151 01:20:22,323 --> 01:20:24,366 how important her memories are to who she is. 1152 01:20:24,450 --> 01:20:26,368 [Anna] Yes, but that was months ago. 1153 01:20:26,452 --> 01:20:29,079 [John] Guys, this is difficult for all of us. 1154 01:20:29,163 --> 01:20:32,833 But it's important to remember who Alice was. 1155 01:20:32,916 --> 01:20:35,210 She would not want to be a burden. 1156 01:20:35,294 --> 01:20:38,172 Anna, you have the babies, you wanna go back to work. 1157 01:20:38,255 --> 01:20:41,550 You're not in a position to care for her, not seriously, Tom. 1158 01:20:41,633 --> 01:20:43,802 And I can't keep Mayo waiting. 1159 01:20:43,886 --> 01:20:47,639 The beginning of this month, I am gone. I want to take her with me. 1160 01:20:47,723 --> 01:20:52,227 I will get her the best possible care, and once she's adjusted to Minnesota, 1161 01:20:52,311 --> 01:20:56,065 she will be happier for it, and so will all of us. 1162 01:21:00,652 --> 01:21:02,821 - Lydia's gonna flip. - Oh, so let her. 1163 01:21:02,905 --> 01:21:06,075 - Well, she is. - Well, she has no right to. 1164 01:21:06,158 --> 01:21:08,994 If she cared, she wouldn't be on the other side of the country. 1165 01:21:09,078 --> 01:21:11,330 Hot in here. 1166 01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:18,837 Who is he exactly? 1167 01:21:18,921 --> 01:21:22,841 His name is bill Thompson. He's a manager. 1168 01:21:22,925 --> 01:21:25,469 Why is he so important? 1169 01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:28,722 He 'ii open doors for me. 1170 01:21:28,806 --> 01:21:31,725 Get me into auditions I wouldn't be able to get into. 1171 01:21:31,809 --> 01:21:33,685 Got me some good headshots. 1172 01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:35,729 I see. 1173 01:21:35,813 --> 01:21:38,232 - What's his name? - [Kettle whistling] 1174 01:21:38,315 --> 01:21:40,150 Bill Thompson. 1175 01:21:40,234 --> 01:21:42,152 He's with Thompson and gould, 1176 01:21:42,236 --> 01:21:44,655 if you wanna look him up. They're good. 1177 01:21:44,738 --> 01:21:46,907 Kettle's boiling. 1178 01:21:49,785 --> 01:21:51,620 Where's Elena? 1179 01:21:51,703 --> 01:21:55,082 I'm making myself a cup of tea. 1180 01:21:55,165 --> 01:21:59,878 Cool. Where's, uh, your caretaker? 1181 01:22:01,505 --> 01:22:04,174 Elena's not here today. 1182 01:22:04,258 --> 01:22:08,137 Her daughter's sick. She's at the doctor. 1183 01:22:10,097 --> 01:22:11,849 So you're alone? 1184 01:22:13,058 --> 01:22:16,311 I can make myself a cup of tea. 1185 01:22:16,937 --> 01:22:18,480 Okay. 1186 01:22:19,940 --> 01:22:21,400 Okay. 1187 01:22:22,025 --> 01:22:23,777 You wanna check out my headshot? 1188 01:22:23,861 --> 01:22:28,740 If I send you a link, can you open the file, download the file? 1189 01:22:33,245 --> 01:22:34,496 [Computer bleeping] 1190 01:22:34,580 --> 01:22:36,290 Okay, um... 1191 01:22:37,833 --> 01:22:39,918 I'll talk to you later. [Love you. 1192 01:22:40,002 --> 01:22:42,254 - Bye. - Bye. 1193 01:22:42,337 --> 01:22:43,630 [Computer bleeping] 1194 01:22:52,139 --> 01:22:53,640 [Computer bleeping] 1195 01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:21,877 Alice, I'm you, and I have something very important to say to you. Um... 1196 01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:26,840 You've reached that point, the point where you can't answer the questions. 1197 01:23:26,924 --> 01:23:30,219 So this is the next logical step. 1198 01:23:30,302 --> 01:23:32,304 I'm sure of it. 1199 01:23:32,387 --> 01:23:35,098 Because what's happened to you. The... 1200 01:23:35,182 --> 01:23:39,144 You know, the Alzheimer's. You could see it as tragic, but... 1201 01:23:39,686 --> 01:23:41,939 Your life has been anything but tragic. 1202 01:23:42,022 --> 01:23:44,566 You have had a remarkable career 1203 01:23:44,650 --> 01:23:47,152 and a great marriage 1204 01:23:47,236 --> 01:23:49,696 and three beautiful children. 1205 01:23:52,199 --> 01:23:56,036 All right, listen to me. Um... 1206 01:23:56,662 --> 01:23:58,038 This is important. 1207 01:23:58,121 --> 01:24:01,083 Make sure that you're alone and go to your bedroom. 1208 01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:04,461 In your bedroom, there's a dresser with a blue lamp. 1209 01:24:04,545 --> 01:24:06,797 Open the top drawer. 1210 01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:10,634 In the back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. 1211 01:24:10,717 --> 01:24:14,263 It says, "take all pills with water." 1212 01:24:14,346 --> 01:24:17,266 Now, there are a lot of pills in that bottle, 1213 01:24:17,349 --> 01:24:22,437 but it's very important that you swallow them all, okay? 1214 01:24:22,521 --> 01:24:26,191 And then lie down 1215 01:24:26,275 --> 01:24:28,318 and go to sleep. 1216 01:24:30,779 --> 01:24:34,366 And don't tell anyone what you're doing, okay? 1217 01:24:34,449 --> 01:24:36,451 [Suspenseful music playing] 1218 01:25:03,186 --> 01:25:06,398 In your bedroom, there's a dresser with a blue lamp. 1219 01:25:06,481 --> 01:25:08,483 Open the top drawer. 1220 01:25:08,567 --> 01:25:12,154 In the back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. 1221 01:25:12,237 --> 01:25:15,616 It says, "take all pills with water." 1222 01:25:18,577 --> 01:25:22,914 Dresser with lamp. Dresser... 1223 01:25:22,998 --> 01:25:26,293 Blue lamp. Dresser. 1224 01:25:38,805 --> 01:25:41,725 Make sure that you're alone and go to your bedroom. 1225 01:25:41,808 --> 01:25:45,312 In your bedroom, there's a dresser with a blue lamp. 1226 01:25:45,395 --> 01:25:47,439 Open the top drawer. 1227 01:25:47,522 --> 01:25:51,234 In the back of the drawer, there's a bottle with pills in it. 1228 01:25:51,318 --> 01:25:54,905 It says, "take all pills with water." 1229 01:25:54,988 --> 01:25:57,741 Now, there are a lot of pills in that bottle, 1230 01:25:57,824 --> 01:26:03,080 but it's very important that you swallow them all, okay? 1231 01:26:03,163 --> 01:26:08,794 And then lie down and go to sleep. 1232 01:26:11,421 --> 01:26:15,759 And don't tell anyone what you're doing, okay? 1233 01:26:34,861 --> 01:26:36,947 [Elena] Hello? 1234 01:26:39,449 --> 01:26:40,701 [Door closes] 1235 01:26:41,535 --> 01:26:42,703 [Elena coughing] 1236 01:26:47,332 --> 01:26:49,334 [Dramatic music playing] 1237 01:27:09,688 --> 01:27:12,774 May I have a cookies-and-cream and a chocolate hazelnut? 1238 01:27:12,858 --> 01:27:14,651 You know what you want. 1239 01:27:14,735 --> 01:27:16,987 Cookies-and-cream and chocolate hazelnut. 1240 01:27:17,070 --> 01:27:20,407 You usually have the original with blueberries and coconut. 1241 01:27:20,490 --> 01:27:21,658 Okay. 1242 01:27:21,742 --> 01:27:24,870 Original with blueberries and coconut, please. 1243 01:27:34,921 --> 01:27:37,758 All, you see that building over there? 1244 01:27:37,841 --> 01:27:39,551 Do you know what that is? 1245 01:27:40,469 --> 01:27:43,013 I don't think I know that. 1246 01:27:43,638 --> 01:27:46,933 That's Columbia, where you used to teach. 1247 01:27:47,809 --> 01:27:51,354 Someone told me I was a good teacher. 1248 01:27:51,438 --> 01:27:54,191 Yes. You were. 1249 01:27:56,318 --> 01:27:57,819 I was really smart. 1250 01:28:00,113 --> 01:28:03,116 You were the smartest person I've ever met. 1251 01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:12,959 Ali, do you still wanna be here? 1252 01:28:17,547 --> 01:28:19,341 I'm not done yet. 1253 01:28:19,424 --> 01:28:20,759 Do we have to go? 1254 01:28:25,013 --> 01:28:26,723 Don't worry. 1255 01:28:26,807 --> 01:28:28,683 Take your time. 1256 01:28:40,070 --> 01:28:42,072 [Dramatic music playing] 1257 01:28:51,122 --> 01:28:52,666 [Door opens] 1258 01:28:52,749 --> 01:28:56,837 - [John] Is this all of your stuff? - [Lydia] I shipped some boxes as well. 1259 01:28:57,337 --> 01:28:59,714 Are you sad to leave L.A.? 1260 01:28:59,798 --> 01:29:02,843 I'm trying to convince myself I'm an east coast girl. 1261 01:29:02,926 --> 01:29:04,678 Where's mom? 1262 01:29:04,761 --> 01:29:06,721 She's sleeping. 1263 01:29:10,392 --> 01:29:12,978 Well, here it is. 1264 01:29:13,061 --> 01:29:15,105 Your old room. 1265 01:29:16,314 --> 01:29:17,983 [Lydia] Whoa. 1266 01:29:21,820 --> 01:29:22,904 [Sighs] 1267 01:29:22,988 --> 01:29:25,949 So how did it work out with your manager? 1268 01:29:26,908 --> 01:29:30,579 It's a west coast company, you know. Not so good. 1269 01:29:31,246 --> 01:29:34,457 Well, that's too bad. Are you sure you don't mind? 1270 01:29:36,042 --> 01:29:38,420 We've had this conversation. 1271 01:29:39,045 --> 01:29:40,589 Okay. 1272 01:29:40,672 --> 01:29:44,634 It's New York City. I'll audition, do theater. 1273 01:29:45,510 --> 01:29:48,471 I know that this is where I need to be, though, so... 1274 01:29:49,431 --> 01:29:51,808 You're a better man than I am. 1275 01:29:53,310 --> 01:29:56,646 Dad, I've got her, okay? 1276 01:29:58,481 --> 01:30:00,483 [Sobbing] 1277 01:30:08,950 --> 01:30:10,952 [Dramatic music playing] 1278 01:30:26,301 --> 01:30:28,303 [People singing indistinctly] 1279 01:30:42,817 --> 01:30:45,153 It's getting pretty cold, huh? 1280 01:30:45,862 --> 01:30:47,697 Wanna head home? 1281 01:30:49,282 --> 01:30:51,201 Come on, let's do it. 1282 01:31:04,297 --> 01:31:08,551 J“ birds go by above you j“ 1283 01:31:09,260 --> 01:31:13,264 j“ sing away your blues j“ 1284 01:31:15,266 --> 01:31:17,102 -hey. 1285 01:31:17,769 --> 01:31:19,062 How was your walk? 1286 01:31:19,145 --> 01:31:20,855 I don't think I know you. 1287 01:31:20,939 --> 01:31:23,149 - Yes, you do. - Hey, mom, it's Elena. 1288 01:31:23,233 --> 01:31:25,276 I'm gonna get you some juice, okay? 1289 01:31:25,360 --> 01:31:28,863 Come, let's take off your coat and go inside. 1290 01:31:45,422 --> 01:31:49,050 [Lydia] "Night flight to San Francisco, chase the moon across america. 1291 01:31:49,801 --> 01:31:52,887 God, it's been years since I was on a plane. 1292 01:31:52,971 --> 01:31:56,391 When we hit 35,000 feet, we'll have reached the tropopause, 1293 01:31:56,474 --> 01:31:59,728 the great belt of calm air. 1294 01:32:00,895 --> 01:32:05,316 As close to the ozone as I'll get, I... I dreamed we were there. 1295 01:32:06,026 --> 01:32:09,029 The plane leapt the tropopause, 1296 01:32:09,612 --> 01:32:14,200 the safe air, and attained the outer rim, the ozone, which was ragged and torn, 1297 01:32:14,284 --> 01:32:18,371 patches of it threadbare as old cheesecloth, and that was... 1298 01:32:19,122 --> 01:32:20,915 Frightening. 1299 01:32:21,583 --> 01:32:23,251 But I saw something only I could see 1300 01:32:23,334 --> 01:32:26,504 because of my astonishing ability to see such things. 1301 01:32:28,506 --> 01:32:31,092 Souls were rising... 1302 01:32:32,385 --> 01:32:35,055 From the earth far below, souls of the dead, 1303 01:32:35,138 --> 01:32:37,682 of people who'd perished 1304 01:32:37,766 --> 01:32:40,810 from famine, from war, from the plague... 1305 01:32:42,604 --> 01:32:48,359 And they floated up, like skydivers in reverse, 1306 01:32:48,443 --> 01:32:53,156 limbs all akimbo, wheeling, spinning. 1307 01:32:54,282 --> 01:32:57,077 The souls of these departed joined hands, clasped ankles 1308 01:32:57,160 --> 01:33:01,247 and formed a web, a great net of souls. 1309 01:33:02,791 --> 01:33:06,711 And the souls were three-atom oxygen molecules of the stuff of ozone, 1310 01:33:06,795 --> 01:33:10,882 and the outer rim absorbed them and was repaired. 1311 01:33:14,803 --> 01:33:17,388 Because nothing is lost forever. 1312 01:33:21,184 --> 01:33:23,978 In this world, there's a kind of painful progress. 1313 01:33:24,062 --> 01:33:27,190 A longing for what we've left behind... 1314 01:33:29,192 --> 01:33:31,236 And dreaming ahead. 1315 01:33:32,195 --> 01:33:34,531 At least I think that's so." 1316 01:33:36,950 --> 01:33:38,576 That's it. 1317 01:33:47,710 --> 01:33:48,962 Hey. 1318 01:33:52,590 --> 01:33:54,551 Did you like that? 1319 01:33:58,763 --> 01:34:02,809 - What I just read, did you like it? - Hm. 1320 01:34:05,770 --> 01:34:07,230 [Grunting] 1321 01:34:10,775 --> 01:34:12,527 And what...? 1322 01:34:13,736 --> 01:34:15,405 What was it about? 1323 01:34:19,492 --> 01:34:21,119 Love. 1324 01:34:21,870 --> 01:34:22,912 Yeah. Love. 1325 01:34:24,038 --> 01:34:25,707 Yeah, mom. 1326 01:34:27,750 --> 01:34:30,044 It was about love. 1327 01:34:35,466 --> 01:34:37,468 [Dramatic music playing] 1328 01:35:01,242 --> 01:35:03,244 ["If I had a boat" playing] 1329 01:35:13,713 --> 01:35:16,758 J“ lflhada boatj' 1330 01:35:16,841 --> 01:35:20,136 j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“ 1331 01:35:20,220 --> 01:35:22,931 j“ and if! Had a pony j' 1332 01:35:23,598 --> 01:35:26,684 j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“ 1333 01:35:26,768 --> 01:35:29,604 j“ and we could all together j" 1334 01:35:30,230 --> 01:35:33,149 j“ go out on the ocean j“ 1335 01:35:33,233 --> 01:35:38,238 j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“ 1336 01:35:40,156 --> 01:35:43,201 j“ if I were Roy Rogers j" 1337 01:35:43,284 --> 01:35:46,204 j“ I'd sure enough be single j" 1338 01:35:46,287 --> 01:35:51,417 j“ I couldn't bring myself to marrying old Dale j“ 1339 01:35:52,961 --> 01:35:55,964 j“ it'd just be me and triggerj' 1340 01:35:56,047 --> 01:35:59,425 j“ go riding through them movies j“ 1341 01:35:59,509 --> 01:36:04,639 j“ then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sail j“ 1342 01:36:05,932 --> 01:36:08,893 j“ and if I had a boat j“ 1343 01:36:09,477 --> 01:36:12,397 j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“ 1344 01:36:12,480 --> 01:36:15,525 j“ and if! Had a pony j' 1345 01:36:15,608 --> 01:36:18,236 j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“ 1346 01:36:18,987 --> 01:36:21,572 j“ and we could all together j" 1347 01:36:22,156 --> 01:36:25,034 j“ go out on the ocean j“ 1348 01:36:25,118 --> 01:36:30,373 j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“ 1349 01:36:31,874 --> 01:36:34,794 j“ the mystery masked man was smart j“ 1350 01:36:34,877 --> 01:36:38,089 j“ he got himself a Tonto j“ 1351 01:36:38,172 --> 01:36:42,969 j“ 'cause Tonto did the dirty work for free j“ 1352 01:36:44,679 --> 01:36:47,557 j“ but Tonto he was smarter j“ 1353 01:36:47,640 --> 01:36:50,685 j“ and one day said, "kemo sabe j' 1354 01:36:51,269 --> 01:36:57,692 j“ kiss my ass, I bought a boat I'm going out to sea" j“ 1355 01:36:59,235 --> 01:37:01,821 j“ and if I had a boat j“ 1356 01:37:02,613 --> 01:37:05,491 j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“ 1357 01:37:05,575 --> 01:37:08,286 j“ and if! Had a pony j' 1358 01:37:08,953 --> 01:37:11,331 j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“ 1359 01:37:12,040 --> 01:37:14,834 j“ and we could all together j" 1360 01:37:15,335 --> 01:37:18,171 j“ go out on the ocean j“ 1361 01:37:18,254 --> 01:37:23,301 j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“ 1362 01:37:53,289 --> 01:37:56,709 J“ and if! Were like lightning j“ 1363 01:37:56,793 --> 01:38:00,254 j“ I wouldn't need no sneakers j“ 1364 01:38:00,338 --> 01:38:06,010 j“ I'd come and go wherever I would please j“ 1365 01:38:06,928 --> 01:38:10,181 j“ and I'd scare 'em by the shade tree j“ 1366 01:38:10,264 --> 01:38:13,476 j“ and I'd scare 'em by the light pole j“ 1367 01:38:13,559 --> 01:38:20,566 j“ but I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea j“ 1368 01:38:22,026 --> 01:38:25,029 j“ and if I had a boat j“ 1369 01:38:25,113 --> 01:38:28,366 j“ I'd go out on the ocean j“ 1370 01:38:28,449 --> 01:38:30,993 j“ and if! Had a pony j' 1371 01:38:31,786 --> 01:38:35,581 j“ I'd ride him on my boat j“ 1372 01:38:36,457 --> 01:38:39,460 j“ and we could all together j" 1373 01:38:39,544 --> 01:38:42,380 j“ go out on the ocean j“ 1374 01:38:42,463 --> 01:38:47,510 j“ set me upon my pony on my boat j“ 1375 01:38:48,970 --> 01:38:52,849 j“ set me upon my pony j“ 1376 01:38:52,932 --> 01:38:57,228 j“ on my boat j' 1377 01:39:08,531 --> 01:39:10,533 [Dramatic music playing]