♪ What goes on
♪ Thank you for letting us be ourselves
♪ So don't mind me if I repeat myself
♪ These simple lines be good for your health
♪ To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
♪ Live, love life like you just don't care
♪ 5,000 leaders never scared
♪ Bring the noise, it's the moment they fear
♪ Get up, still a beautiful idea
♪ Get up, throw your hands in the air
♪ Get up and show no fear... ♪
Roast a turkey, bake a pecan pie,
then remember we don't actually celebrate Thanksgiving.
It's Friday, we're live. And it's time for The Last Leg.
Tonight on the show, we run an eye over the Autumn Statement,
check out some hair-raising world leaders,
and show off Alex's new legs.
Plus we'll be joined by comedians Katherine Ryan and Nabil Abdulrashid
and money saving expert, Martin Lewis
on the show that sometimes wigs out about the news.
Gooday. Hello.
I'm Adam Hills. Welcome to The Last Leg,
the show that thinks every week is Black Friday cos
we're always 20% off.
With me as always, the pride of Dartmoor Josh Widdicombe.
And the man who got new blades this week
and now not only runs but also chops and dices, Alex Brooker.
Now...
..if you were wondering why, when we walked out at the beginning
of the show, Alex was towering over my left shoulder,
it's cos he's got a new pair of blades for both feet. Yeah.
Before we even talk about them, can you explain why you got them?
Yeah, well, the thing about the blades is...
Cos we've run out of things to talk about.
Well, the thing with them is obviously, they're so rapid. Yeah.
And a little while ago, I just decided just like for once,
for the first time in my life, I just didn't want to get caught
playing knock and run.
No, basically, these is basically down to that.
I've never been able to run because obviously with the prosthetic,
my left foot's not great. Yeah.
I've never been able to run.
I just wanted to, kind of, yeah, get these bad boys on
and see how we get on.
So the left couldn't keep up with the right basically?
Yeah, yeah. Which is kind of world politics at the moment.
But... But the weird thing is well, how tall are you now?
I'm 6'1.
Are you? I just got... I just got up on Monday and I was 6'1.
Very strange to have a growth spurt at 39.
But I tell you what, there's a cookie jar at my mum's
that she's had on that top shelf for so long.
I am going to nail it.
The best thing is now... I've got to say hearing that,
would it be weird if I got a pair?
Would that be misjudged? Cos I could with the extra few inches.
Also how disappointed was your wife when she realised that
when you said I'm getting an extension...
The best thing is now, though, I don't have to queue up
at Chessington and I'm tall enough to go on all the rides.
So.. Also, great week cos we've got a cattle grid installed
at the green room, haven't we? You can't come in.
For perspective, can you and Josh stand next to each other,
just so people can see how much taller you now are?
You all right, little brother?
How are you, mate?
Honestly... The new Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Honestly, everything he's been through, bless him,
he's such a trooper.
And do you know what? I kind of feel for you this week
and particularly today because, like, I'd always wanted to...
Sorry I have to try. I'm not used to sitting down from top...
Not so clever now, are you?
Oh, my God.
Sorry I've got my little...
Fucking hell. It was like a helicopter coming in to land.
No-one knew if it was going to hit the helipad on the way.
Yeah, this gold cushion.
You've even got a cushion?
Yeah, I've got a cushion because my knee... Legs, like...
My knees are so like high up now. Yeah.
Honestly, these... Honestly, they're so high up my knees.
These are great for going to the toilet.
And also, I feel for you cos I, for years I'd always wanted
a blade, right? Yeah.
And then, a few years back, finally they made one that
could fit my foot. Right.
And then Oscar Pistorius went and ruined it for all of us.
Yeah.
And now today, the day you get your doubles blades... Yeah.
..is the day he is granted parole.
Yeah, well, I just want to reassure people out there, there's not...
We haven't planned that.
Like...
I'm not starting a running club with him next.
So, Alex... Alex took them for a... Like literally had to for a test...
A test run during the week, which looked like this.
Listen for the commentary.
What the fuck was that?
Yeah, that is my mate there saying "What the fuck is that?"
But it's... My favourite is you... Tell us where that was.
That was at the Emirates Stadium.
You went outside the Arsenal ground?
You could have gone anywhere.
Yeah, but... As if they were going to look out of the window, Arteta,
and go, fucking hell, he's good, isn't he?
What you doing on Saturday, mate?
Well, one thing... Firstly, the one thing you said is
you were quite nervous running on them.
Yeah, I am. I'm quite nervous cos I've... I've never, like...
When you gather pace... Yeah. ..It's like, it is quite,
it's the quickest, like, I've not properly ran on them yet. Yeah.
Also, like, falling over.
Like, I'm higher up to fall over now. Yeah.
And apparently, they were telling me there's basically a special way
to fall over. It's you shouldn't put your arms out.
And it's like, to be honest, it's neither here nor there for me.
Yeah. Well, cos it's hard to stop. Like, it's...
Yes, it's really hard to stop. You can't, like, you can't
just stop dead. So what do you do instead of putting your arms out?
What's the next option?
Just... You kind of like drop and roll as if you're on fire.
Erm, but yeah, that is the hardest thing.
And also, you can't go up stairs in these.
You have to go up sideways.
You're not a Dalek!
Well, like, you...
Like you're on roller blades.
But I went into a cafe this morning, and it was up a step,
and I walked in it sideways.
And there's people stood there thinking, look,
I know he ain't small but surely he can find through that front ways.
So we're going to test Alex's ability to stop on his blades
by making him sprint and stop really quickly.
Not now cos we still need to do some of the show.
But before the next... At the end of this part,
we're going to set you a task. Yeah.
But you've also said that you now want to do a triathlon.
Well, saying I want to, that's a strong turn of phrase.
What I said was it that obviously I've got the swim leg,
which I used... I used for the Channel swim. I've got these now,
and my bike's all right. Again, that's a problem with stopping with the brakes, but we'll get there.
Yeah. But, um, yeah, so kind of just one day, maybe I'll be able...
Well, I'm challenging you for the Superhero Triathlon,
which is in August next year. You and I both do a para-triathlon.
OK.
I mean, I, look...
You know... you know I love to spend time with you and things like that,
but obviously the problem is you'll be in the seniors category...
Also, you've got to wear them for Soccer Aid next year,
just out of control, running around the pitch.
Now, cos we're live, were going to do our best to answer your big questions,
tweet them to us at @TheLastLeg, use the hashtag, #IsltOK.
For example, #IsltOK that we've put our Christmas tree up
even though it is still November? Yes. Yes, I think it is.
#IsltOK, we like you to decide
who's going to be our Christmas Angel this year?
So last year, you chose the former rugby league player Kevin Sinfield
for his support of MND charities and his mate, Rob Burrow.
Who do you want? It could be anyone. Anyone at all.
Tweet us at @TheLastLeg right now,
use the hashtag #LastLegAngel, I think we're going with.
I'm going to say Mary Earps... OK.
..but in full... like, that moment were she just shouted "fuck off".
I just want that on top of the tree.
Yeah. I'm going with the football theme,
I'm going to go with David Beckham... Mm-hm.
Cos I don't know if you've seen his documentary,
but I've never seen anybody look that fit,
let alone that fit cooking a mushroom on a barbecue.
That barbecue wasn't even turned on, it just sizzled when he went past.
Josh, who would you like the angel to be?
Archangel Gabriel, please.
I'm a traditionalist and I don't know why there's anything wrong..
Or Angela Rippon, I thought she's growing on trees.
I'd go Rippon cos I've heard there's some historic tweets
from the Archangel Gabriel that are a little bit dodgy.
He referred to the Virgin Mary but he put the word virgin
in inverted commas.
Um, that's our POV for the night,
who should be the angel on our Christmas tree this year?
Not just from our suggestions, any suggestions at all.
Tweet us at @TheLastLeg, use the hashtag...
Not from our suggestions cos I don't want a one in three chance it's going to be my option.
Use the hashtag #LastLegAngel. All right.
There is a big story this week and we're going to get into it.
The Chancellor unveiled his Autumn Statement
and we had a lot of tweets asking how it was going to affect people with disabilities.
Now, we'll get to those, but before we do,
let's unpick the statement generally. So, Jeremy Hunt began with...
He began with a joke and it was a half decent joke.
He said to Keir Starmer that they have something in common
because at one point they both wanted a Jeremy to be Prime Minister.
Not a bad joke, he then said that both parties were probably relieved that it didn't happen.
Not a bad joke.
He then said, "But whereas we are saving the economy,
"your Jeremy would have crashed it."
That's kind of rich considering the only reason Hunt's in a job
is that his predecessor ACTUALLY crashed the economy.
That's the craziest figures...
They're kind of praising themselves for this Autumn Statement,
but given what happened last year,
all they had to do was beat losing the country 60 billion.
That's like praising yourself for getting through the day
and only shitting yourself once.
I think you're too hard on yourself, I think that was an achievement.
You are right, you should have been proud.
Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves gave her response.
As usual, the whole thing became a he-said, she-said affair.
He said national debt is going to be lower,
she said the forecast economic growth is also being lowered.
He said the economy is growing faster than many European countries since 2010,
she said we are forecast to have the slowest growing economy of all G7 countries.
He said we are investing in the NHS,
she said some NHS trusts are still using fax machines.
That back-and-forth sounds like a really bleak version of.
Baby It's Cold Outside.
♪ The economy's grown, baby it's cold... ♪
It's cold inside actually.
Awful way to receive your results from the NHS, isn't it?
Via fax.
Just start... just watching it slowly come out.
Well, my feet are all right.
Well, that was an inappropriate way to start, wasn't it?
Sorry.
11 years in.
I know.
Look, despite some pretty hefty tax cuts,
Britain is now heading for the biggest fall in living standards
since the 1950s and a lot of that is to do with something called fiscal drag.
Now, what's fiscal drag?
I hear Alex ask.
It's what happens when inflation causes prices to rise,
which leads employers to raise wages,
but the threshold at which you pay tax doesn't rise with it.
Lib Dems leader Ed Davey described it
as a £200 billion stealth tax raid.
And I'm going to try and explain it tonight with a segment we'd like to call.
RuPaul's Fiscal Drag Race.
♪ It's not about the money, money, money
♪ We don't need your money, money, money... ♪
Hi. Hello.
Oh, you need this? You need a hand putting this on?
Alex can't actually stand still on the blades,
so he needs me to dress him.
Thank you. You all right? It was always going to happen one day.
There you go. All right, so,
imagine you're being paid £10,000
and you need to buy £10,000 worth of mascara.
Now, because the tax threshold is £12,500,
you don't have to pay any tax at all,
you can spend all the money you've got on the mascara.
Slay.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Now, imagine that because of inflation,
that mascara has now gone up to £20,000,
but you got a lovely boss who has also raised your wage to £20,000.
Oh, big fat slay.
However, the tax threshold hasn't moved,
so you now have to pay tax on everything over £12,500.
Which comes to £1,500 of tax, which means you know can't afford your mascara.
That is what fiscal drag is, and according to Ed Davey,
it's going to rake in around £200 billion for the government,
while affecting the poorest in society.
Now, the only way you can get your mascara
is to hope that Santa has someone his..
Big fat SLEIGH.
And that was RuPaul's Fiscal Drag Race.
Would you please thank Kitty Scott-Claus?
Thank you. Thank you.
♪ We don't think about the money, money, money
♪ We don't need your money, money, money. ♪
No.. Here he goes.
There we go.
By the way...
Wahey!
Really nice, it's come to people praising me just for sitting down.
To be fair, some of those were for not shitting yourself as well.
By the way, when you were talking this week about fiscal drag,
I thought you kept talking about fiscal brag,
like it was a humble brag.
I just found a fiver in my coat - fiscal brag.
OK, so onto the issue we received loads of tweets about.
And Debbie said...
Now, it was reported earlier in the week that the government
was going to force people with disabilities to work from home, or lose their benefits.
It was partly spurred on by this controversial clip
featuring Chief Secretary to the Treasury Laura Trott.
I think that if you can work, as a principal, you should work
and that is what the government believes,
that's been the thrust of all of our policies.
Of course, there should be support for people to help them into work
or to help them with issues that they're facing,
but ultimately, there is a duty on citizens
that if they are able to go to work, that's what they should do.
Now, we've done a bit of a deep dive on your behalf,
and this is genuine, we did this during the week,
We contacted Laura Trott's office to find out what she meant by all that.
Her spokesperson said her comments weren't aimed at disabled people,
they were for people who genuinely have no reason not to work.
Now, there seems to be two things going on in this statement.
One is for long-term unemployed people who have no sickness or disability.
If those people don't take up a mandatory placement after 18 months
of looking for work, they can have their benefits halted.
According to Laura Trott's office,
this doesn't apply to anyone currently on disability benefits.
Now, coincidentally, I was at Speakers House in Parliament
this week for a reception for Disability History Month.
I met the Speaker of the House,
I got a photo with him in front of a picture of him
that was painted on the wall.
Do you reckon he... do you reckon he was just like,
he spends his time just standing under there until someone recognises him?
Doe she remind you of anyone?
In the same pose, stepping out, like, you know?
We talked for about 20 minutes about rugby league.. Of course you did.
Was that why you're on your own?
What was interesting for me was this was the same day
that the Autumn Statement came out.
But there was so much support for people with disabilities
from all sides of Parliament.
There was a Tory MP who got up and spoke, who had Cerebral Palsy,
there was a Labour MP who got up and spoke, who was blind,
there was a guy with Down syndrome, who works in Parliament.
It was kind of amazing to see how many people were supportive
of people with disabilities,
including the minister Penny Mordaunt,
who was there supporting a learning disability choir.
So I, on the way out, grabbed Penny Mordaunt and said,
"Right, what's going on with this Autumn Statement?
"How is it going to affect people with disabilities?"
And I said, "Can you DM me, please?"
Of course you did.
So Penny Mordaunt sent me a DM to explain
what's going on with the Autumn Statement.
That's right, I asked her for her opinion in a segment
I'd like to call.
A Mordaunt For Your Thoughts.
So...
I like it. Yeah, thanks.
So Penny Mordaunt sent me a link to what she said in the Commons on Thursday,
which was this - "The closing claims measure does not apply to anyone with disabilities or a child."
She ended the message by saying,
"No child or person with a disability would lose out because of these measures."
Which is, obviously, great news, but let's be honest,
she really ended it with, "Now stop DM-ing me."
What's that emoji? I think there's an emoji for that.
She also added if anyone is worried about
how these measures are going to affect them,
you should contact your local MP.
Right? So the measures won't affect anyone, right, with a disability.
But reading more into the proposals,
anyone applying for disability benefits AFTER 2025,
will come under new rules as to what constitutes being fit to work.
Now, this is because we now live in a world where people CAN work from home.
So there's a whole bunch of questions to go along with that.
How are they going to decide who is fit to work from home?
Also, what jobs are they expecting these people to do from home?
Like, that's the thing that's been baffling me, it's like, so
right, you can work from home,
but how many jobs do you know straight away you can just do from home?
Like, OnlyFans?
Look...
Do you know what? Yes?
Push comes to shove, I'll start and OnlyHands.
And the great thing is, you can now build yourself as a six foot one.
Leggy brunette?
So basically, the upshot is this -
if you're disabled now, nothing will change,
but if you're planning on becoming disabled, do it before 2025.
So the question is though, why was there this feeling this week
that disabled people were being targeted?
It's because there was one running at 200 was an hour around the Emirates.
I think it is, genuinely, I mean, look,
it's because we are targeted quite a lot of the time
and over the course of time, certainly under this government,
under most of them, disability benefits are always the target.
We've seen the changes to PIP and stuff like that,
and it feels like it comes around, like,
comes around quicker every year, the blaming of disabled people.
It does, doesn't it, yeah?
You don't get a card, you just get a letter saying you've lost your benefits.
But it feels like that happens every single year,
it's kind of the cycle that goes around and they try and change stuff.
And I think that this idea that people fraudulently claiming benefits
is why the country is in the shit.
It's kind of... that's slightly pushed out there,
but it's not true. It's like...
Of PIP spending, only 0.2% was on fraudulent claims and error.
And it's like the DWP spent 40 million in the last financial year
on fraudulent claims, but underpaid 60 million.
So when you think about...
Like I said before, that last... that last budget last year... Yeah.
..that cost us nearly 60 billion and we're talking about
kind of these 0.2%, and I think that we are demonised,
I think it's... it's an easy target and, you know, as I said,
this idea that disabled people don't want to work or get thrown in,
but they do, but we just need...
also you need a society and measures that allow us to flourish as well.
There was a...
You're not just a pair of great pins, are you?
There was a Scope study last week that said
if people with disabilities were helped into the workforce the right way,
it could bring in £15 billion for the economy.
But, you need people with disabilities actually making that happen.
The Labour MP Marsha de Cordova was at Speakers House during the week
and she used a great phrase, "Nothing about us without us."
More disabled people need to be involved in the decision-making.
And, look, what we need at a time like this...
Well, yeah.
What we need at a time like this is an expert on saving money.
So, please welcome money saving expert Martin Lewis.
♪ Money, money, money
♪ Must be funny in a rich man's world. ♪
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Can I...
Just listening to that, forgive me,
but you're talking physical disability.
And the other big issue on this is mental health and I am chair of.
The Money and Mental Health Policy Institute charity,
and they're redefining, under the Work Capability Assessment,
how it works for mental health,
so the thing is you have to have a substantial risk,
but the definition of substantial risk of not being able to work
is going to be.
"In crisis are undergoing an active psychotic episode".
Now, that is a high bar.
That's higher than you could jump in those blades.
That's how high that bar is.
And so, we're concerned,
would someone who is, say, self-harming on a daily basis
really constantly anxious,
but not directly in crisis and not directly psychotic,
still, therefore, not be a substantial risk in this?
So actually, while you're talking physical disabilities,
the impact on the mental health and mental illness,
there are also some real questions to be had
in the way it's been defined.
When you look at the underlying numbers,
it does look like some of this has been done just to save money,
as opposed to actually push people back into work.
Interesting.
So that was my comedy intro!
Welcome to the show!
Look, we've asked our audience for some questions to throw at you.
Yeah. And we're going to see how many you can get through in a very
short space of time, and Josh and Alex have got some as well.
So let's do this. Can we get a clock going?
That'll do.
OK. JJ said...
Look, you have lots of push economic things.
When you do push economics like the bedroom tax, it can be a good idea.
We want to push people into smaller houses to free up bigger houses.
The problem is when you push them into doing something
and there are no small houses.
So the issue here is pushing people to do something is good,
but only if it's something they're capable of doing,
and that's where the question is. Brilliant.
David said...
Not everything's going up. Mobile phones are getting much cheaper.
That's the one deflationary thing.
You can currently get, if you factor it all in, £6.25 for 100GB,
unlimited minutes, unlimited texts. So therefore that's come down,
but the real key is saving money compared to what you
would have spent if you didn't act, which is why you should be
acting all the time to try and minimise your expenditure.
Ooh. Diane said...
Two reasons it isn't. One, cash under the mattress,
home insurance only covers £1,000 of cash.
Put money in a savings account, you get interest
and you're protected to £85,000 per person per financial institution.
Two, it's really uncomfortable to sleep on.
Alex?
Have you ever gone into Tesco at lunchtime
and not gone for the meal deal?
No, not quite, but if you do want the meal deal,
you go for the expensive sandwich or pasta, you go for the fruit because
that's the highest value, and then of course you go for the smoothie,
as everybody knows, because that's the most expensive of the drinks.
My guy! Josh.
If you talk for ten minutes at the start of a show about your new legs,
does that make them tax-deductible?
Time's up!
I mean, go on if you've got an answer. If you've got an answer.
I was just going to say, I'm not sure I can stand that one up!
Now, look, we've also taken your advice.
You often talk about getting a better deal,
maybe changing energy providers
if there's another provider that can do the same thing for cheaper.
So you should be happy with this, but you won't be.
We've looked around and we've found a cheaper version of you.
We've found someone by the name of Mickey Lewis.
So I'm going to have to ask you, Mickey Lewis,
would you come on out, please?
♪ Money, money, money
♪ Must be funny
♪ In a rich man's world
♪ Money, money, money... ♪
Can I confirm your name is actually Mickey Lewis? It is. OK, brilliant.
What is your top money saving tip? One word. Crypto.
Can we get Martin Lewis back? Can we get Martin Lewis back?
I'm sorry, no, seriously. Thank you, it was worth a shot, but, you know.
Don't always go with the cheaper option.
I've been deepfaked on social media.
I didn't think I was going to be deepfaked here.
All right, let's welcome tonight's next guests.
You'll know him from Britain's Got Talent.
You'll know her from recent immigration figures.
Please welcome Nabil Abdul Rashid and Katherine Ryan!
Welcome.
Er, all right. What did you both make of the Autumn Statement?
Katherine?
I mean, it was 120 pages, so not much.
Yeah, no, I'm not a fan of Jeremy Hunt generally.
He called for dismantling the NHS before bringing it
to its knees as Health Secretary.
He falsely charged taxpayers for personal expenditure.
He breached anti-money laundering rules. So he's not my fave.
And I always look for guys like that trying to slip it in,
you know what I mean?
And he...
He slipped in a few things that alarmed me in the autumn report.
He said that people who live closest to pylons
and electricity stations get ten grand.
That means those must not be safe. And then he also said...
I need to Erin Brockovich the whole thing wide open.
But then he also said that they were going to invest 500 million
to make Britain an AI powerhouse, which sounds like a good thing,
but AI is the seventh highest contributor to job displacement,
and 85 million jobs will be lost by 2025 to AI,
and the AI on my phone photo apps thinks I'm a man.
Right!
That has drawn a round of applause right there. Nabil?
The people agree!
I thought it was cute!
Just the idea of these imperialist multimillionaires
pretending like they care about how normal people live.
I don't know, I think, to be fair, the Tories, I've given them
a chance, I have.
They've rebranded so many times, they've become very progressive.
Everyone's gotten a second chance,
no matter how shit they've been at their job.
Honestly, it's like a children's party. No child left behind, etc.
Except Kwasi Kwarteng.
I think even they have to give up now,
because it has become very clear, you can put lipstick on a pig...
And David...
And David Cameron will still slip in.
This is what they do. It's what they do!
They're slipping it in.
Now, we did mention earlier in the show we were going to
test out the running and stopping power of Alex's blades.
It's come time for that now. Shit.
Oh, yeah, all right. In a segment we'd like to call RuPaul's Leg Race.
All right. OK, are you ready? Are you ready here?
Are you ready, Limbford Christie?
What's the crash helmet...? Oh, shit.
Genuinely for health and safety.
Genuinely? Yeah. There you go. Cool, OK, so...
OK, so the idea is... Oh, fuck.
Basically, the idea is, can you stop?
You're going to run towards the finish line,
but try and stop before you run into all your favourite things.
Christmas presents, Bukayo Saka, Duncan from Blue and Craig David.
So your job is to run, get through the tape
and then stop before you hit them. I've got you, I've got you.
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.
Take it away! Go!
Fuck!
I mean, that was kind of always going to happen.
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break as we... Are you OK?
I should have checked that first.
We're going to ask why world leaders are taking a jump to the right,
and we want to know who should be on top of our Christmas tree this year.
Tweet us @TheLastLeg, hashtag it #LastLegAngel.
Alex will put it on top of the tree at the end of the show.
We'll see you in a little bit.
Welcome back to That Last Leg.
We're joined by Martin Lewis, Katherine Ryan
and Nabil Abdul Rashid.
I've got the top four of who people at home are suggesting
to go on top of the tree. They are...
Mary Earps.
Carol Vorderman.
David Tennant.
And Martin Lewis.
So we're going to tweet...
This could be very awkward if it's not him!
It's all right. Can I...? I'm Jewish. Leave me out of it.
We're going to tweet that now from the Last Leg account.
We're going to tweet it as a poll, and we'd love you to vote on it.
And we'll reveal it at the end of the show.
Alex will put it on top of the tree. Back to the news.
We got a load of tweets about Rishi Sunak's handyman skills today,
including this one from a South Norfolk
councillor by the name of John Morland.
He said...
Now, this suspicious video surfaced which seemed to show that the.
PM doesn't know how to use a hammer.
Now...
Before you get carried away, Labour re-tweeted that video
and said, "Rishi Sunak, not the son of a toolmaker".
They also said,
"the man who hammers working people can't work a hammer."
It turns out, though, the full video
shows he was told to use it that way. Watch this.
Um...? Which one of these?
Let's go that one, but you're going to use this bit.
Oh! Sideways?
Yeah, and...
No, no, no. More? Oh, more? Like really...
Now, come on, Rishi!
Now, what's interesting is we've checked the Twitter account
and the Facebook account of Labour.
They haven't taken their one down yet.
Wow. The thing is, I like the idea of someone being worse with a hammer than me.
Why have you ruined it?
While we're talking about world leaders, Jeremy said,
"#IsltOk that you can easily spot a far right politician
"by their massively extravagant and weird hairstyle?"
It's been a week for it. It began with this guy
being elected President of Argentina.
His name is Javier Milei, his nickname is El Loco,
which means "The Madman."
He's anti-abortion, opposes sex education in schools,
wielded a chainsaw at rallies to symbolise how he's going to cut.
Government red tape, and claims to receive advice
from his five dogs, who are all clones of his original dog,
who told him to run for President via a psychic medium.
Is there a chance he's actually a really good guy,
but his dead dog's really right wing?
How do you talk... How is he talking to the dead dogs?
Is he like doing a Ouija board and it's pointing to letters,
What do you think of him, Nabil?
He is like a modern-day Caligula.
He had his horse become an adviser. Yes.
He then sent soldiers to attack the ocean as a way to wage war
against Poseidon, which is similar
because this guy's also fighting a war against water.
Not literally, he just looks like he hasn't showered in a while.
He was in a Rolling Stones cover band and claims to have been
a tantric sex instructor. He said he hasn't combed his hair
since he was 13, and he came to fame as a financial pundit on television.
That's some of the best eyebrow work I've ever seen.
Wow, hello!
That's it, you're the next Prime Minister.
Tantric sex? Yeah.
So he is like an enlightened Donald Trump?
You can imagine, "Just grab her by the chakras."
It was kind of a week for it, though,
because in Netherlands they elected a new guy.
They elected this guy.
Geert Wilders, who dropped his policy of banning Mosques
and the Koran, and instead focused on curbing immigration.
He looks like a Donald Trump wax museum model.
I don't know about his political views, but he 100% looks like
a scientist who wants to make a human centipede.
I think they are both Harry Enfield characters.
He also wants the Netherlands to leave the EU
in what he's calling "a Nexit."
But the interesting thing about those two is they both had
so few votes that they're going to struggle to form a government,
because no other party actually want to work with them.
But what's interesting is, in particular with Geert Wilders,
he came in on the back of an anti-migrant stance,
which, with migrant figures being released today,
there's a demonisation of migrants again.
So do you think it's possible
a similar thing is going to happen here?
It does worry me, for obvious reasons.
I see some of the rhetoric and it is always the same shit.
Oh, the NHS is suffering because of the migrants!
Bitch, please, the NHS has run because of migrants.
If it wasn't for us...
I'm sorry. If it wasn't for migrants,
the NHS would be closed on a Sunday. I'm sorry.
On migration, it's interesting, because when you poll,
generally people want less migrants.
But when you poll by sectors, whether you want care workers,
whether you want NHS staff, there is only one sector where people
don't actually want more migrants, and the only sector they don't want
more migrants is banking.
Really?! Right, but everything else?
Everything else. If you ask about, do we need more care workers?
Yes. Do we need more NHS workers? Yes.
So, actually, if you wanted to do this, instead of saying
we have got this big migrant number,
what you should actually do is say we have got this many
care worker migrants, we've got this many NHS workers,
and attitudes may be somewhat different.
Now, look, the rise of the far right has been kind of depressing
this week, so we need a little bit of cheering up.
Would you like to see a well-known Last Leg host making a fool
of himself last weekend while dressed as an owl?
So last weekend I took part in a Masked Entertainer Gala
to raise money for Motor Neurone Disease,
on behalf of the Rob Burrow Foundation at Headingley.
There was a raft of sportspeople, I sang Blister in the Sun
by The Violent Femmes, while dressed as an owl.
It was one of the bleakest things I've ever done.
♪ Let me go on, like I blister in the sun
♪ Let me go on
♪ Big hands, I know you're the one. ♪
As an owl, it must have been great having the audience behind you so
you could just turn around and look at them, couldn't you?
Do you know what, Rob Burrow was there in the room and I think
it's the cruellest thing I've ever done, to sing and dance
like that in front of a man who can't get up and leave the room.
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break, as we check out
some tools in space, and a Royal on breakfast TV.
Plus we want to know who should go on top of our Christmas tree.
Respond to our poll @TheLastLeg, we'll see you in a little bit.
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Martin Lewis,
Katherine Ryan and Nabil Abdulrashid.
Shocking news this week for any little boy
wanting to be an astronaut. NASA researchers have found
that male astronauts may return from deep space
prone to erectile dysfunction.
Apparently, there are galactic cosmic rays
that can impair the function of erectile tissues,
effects could last potentially for decades.
Which must make re-entry really tricky.
Thank you.
From what I've heard, they have to send up a giant thumb
to help him in.
Houston, we have a problem.
You said, to little boys, no-one is going to explain that
to their kid this week!
Don't want to go into that, by the way.
It does feel like the one excuse Prince Andrew didn't use...
"Because of my time in space, I just can't get a hard-on."
As far as excuses go, it's not me, it's not you, it's gravity.
It's so much easier to keep stuff up in there.
"Hang on a minute, let me look at Uranus, see if that works."
I will blame that on the new legs.
In other space news, a stray tool bag was dropped by astronauts
on an International Space Station space walk. It was visible
from the ground as it flew over Britain on Tuesday.
How?
I'm not sure if it was visible with the naked eye,
but certainly with a telescope.
All right, because how fucking low is it flying?
I couldn't see a tool bag if it was at the other end of the room.
Just full of shitloads of Viagra, innit?
Luckily for the flaccid astronauts, or flastronauts,
advice was ready for them when they landed from...
That's right, the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson.
This week she took viewers' questions on breakfast television
in this uncomfortable footage.
You pop down and get a lovely saucy underwear department in your chest
of drawers, and you really make the hair, blow dry the hair,
then have a lovely... And take him out on a treat.
It needs to be more treats.
That was the question, how can I make time for my partner?
The advisory segment continued with another caller
and the Duchess's love of underwear.
You could say, darling, I have booked your favourite place
to climb. I will just be waiting when you come back.
You go climbing, then we can have a lovely weekend
with the saucy underwear on.
I find it quite odd that people are getting relationship advice
from someone who is married to a sweaty weirdo.
By the way, "weirdo" is the word I had to change in that joke.
Very different to the advice you were handing out, isn't it, Martin?
It depends what you're asking me.
I thought she was talking to a dog when she first said treats.
I was a bit lost for a second.
What people don't realise, historically, what she's doing
is actually an age-old tradition for the Royal family.
Apparently that was Queen Victoria's secret.
Whoa, lovely! Lovely!
Now, look, we think they have asked the wrong person.
We've got someone here, Katherine, you have a podcast,
you answer people's questions, you give advice. Yeah.
We are going to throw exactly the questions
that were thrown at her at you.
Our relationship expert, Katherine Ryan. Great.
Welcome back to This Evening where Katherine is going to answer
relationship questions.
Caller number one, what's your name?
My name's Susanne.
OK, I have a new son and work full time,
how can I make time for my partner if he feels left out?
Oh, Susanne. You have had a baby and your partner, a grown man,
feels jealous of the baby.
Well, it's very important to make that man feel
sexually wanted, you know, important.
So, you put on your best, slimy underwear...
Saucy underwear,
and you light some candles,
and you set the interior of his car alight...
Caller number two, what's your name?
My name's Claire.
What question would you like to ask Katherine?
We've been together - don't know why I'm doing this voice -
for 12 years and have a seven-year-old son,
how can we keep the spark alive in our relationship?
Oh, well, the spark's gone.
The spark is never, ever coming back.
You traded in dopamine for serotonin.
You will never have exciting moments ever again.
You're just sort of calm and loved and safe.
You could try having an affair.
That might drive him mad,
make him want to just get with you out of jealousy.
It's a big risk, he could leave, but, you know,
there's a man whose car is on fire, he's single, looking for someone!
Thank you.
There will be more Last Leg for you after the break where
Josh wraps up the last seven days and Alex uses is a new legs
to put an angel on top of our Christmas tree!
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Martin Lewis, Katherine Ryan
and Nabil Abdulrashid.
I just want to remind you there's
a para standing tennis come and try day tomorrow
at the National Tennis Centre at Roehampton.
Britain's number one player, Nicky Maxwell,
is in the audience tonight, you'll see both of us...
..both of us in action tomorrow.
Now, Josh has been hammering away at the last seven days.
What have you got?
Would you like to see nail-biting footage of the almighty power
of a hot dog cannon at a college basketball game?
Yes, please.
I will talk you through this, here we go.
So, there it is. Duck. Get your heads down.
How bad is this going to be? Here it comes!
Oh, there it is.
Ah.
Would you...
To be there to that guy,
that hot dog had just come back from deep space!
Would you like to see the surprising clip of a guy getting
more than he bargained for from an arcade machine?
Yes, please.
All right, we asked you who should go on the top of our Christmas tree.
Someone called Steve said,
"James Cleverly should be sat atop the Christmas tree this week.
"Surely he deserves something shoved up his shithole!"
Um...
It has been decided, the votes are in, though.
It was between Mary Earps, Carol Vorderman, David Tennant
and Martin Lewis.
And, Martin...
..David Tennant has won!
For a whole bunch of...
You said Alex was putting the fairy on top of the Christmas tree.
David Tennant's welcome to it!
Well, David was on the show last week.
Turns out the TARDIS badge he was wearing was in the trans colours
and it raised thousands of pounds for an LGBTQ+ charity.
So, I think...
..I think there is no more deserving person than David Tennant.
Where's your badge, Martin?!
To be fair, he has raised loads of money as well.
All right, Alex is about to use his new legs
to put the angel on top of the tree but before he does that,
would you please thank our guests for tonight, Nabil Abdulrashid!
Katherine Ryan!
Martin Lewis!
And Mickey Lewis!
And my co-hosts, Josh Widdicombe! And Alex Brooker!
We'll be back next week with comedians Harry Hill
and Jordan Gray and environmentalist Chris Packham.
Right now, though, Alex is going to place the David Tennant angel
on top of our Christmas tree.
With his new legs!
You can do this, big guy, you can do this.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Are you... Are you sure you can do this?
Alex! Alex! Alex!
♪ You're simply the best...
Everyone's so small, like Josh!
♪ Better than all the rest. ♪
♪ Like a blister in the sun, let me go on...
Bloody hell, is that owl in pain?
♪ Big hands, I know you're the one. ♪
Try again in a minute, mate.
Thanks for watching The Last Leg.
My name's Adam Hills, see you next week for the next leg! Goodnight!
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