1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,120 ♪ What goes on 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,400 ♪ Thank you for letting us be ourselves 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,160 ♪ So don't mind me if I repeat myself 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,200 ♪ These simple lines be good for your health 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,040 ♪ To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf 6 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,080 ♪ Live, love life like you just don't care 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,640 ♪ 5,000 leaders never scared 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,120 ♪ Bring the noise, it's the moment they fear 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,720 ♪ Get up, still a beautiful idea 10 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,920 ♪ Get up, throw your hands in the air 11 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,080 ♪ Get up and show no fear... ♪ 12 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 13 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,720 Open your advent calendar, eat all the chocolates, 14 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,720 and tell the elf on the shelf to keep his big mouth shut. 15 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,640 It's Friday, we're live and it's time for The Last Leg. 16 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,960 APPLAUSE. 17 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,560 Tonight on the show, we sleepwalk into a climate disaster, 18 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,240 tiptoe around the Elgin marbles 19 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,320 and kick-start the international mullet championships. 20 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,760 And we'll do it all alongside comedians Harry Hill and Jordan Gray, 21 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,760 and environmentalist Chris Packham 22 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,200 on the show that always runs head-first into the news. 23 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,880 APPLAUSE. 24 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,040 G'day, I'm Adam Hills, welcome to The Last Leg, 25 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,480 the show that's been getting a lot of tweets like this one 26 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,640 from Chris this week... 27 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,120 With me as always are the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Widdicombe 28 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,000 and the man who isn't following COP28 29 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,320 cos he hasn't seen the first 27, Alex Brooker. 30 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,640 APPLAUSE. 31 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,680 Let's start by saying, for Sunday, 32 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,960 Happy International Day of Disabled Persons for Sunday. 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,040 Yes! How are you celebrating? Are you kicking up your heels? 34 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,480 No. It's like our Christmas, innit? 35 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,320 Mm-hm. We're gonna have a turkey on Sunday - 36 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,560 no legs, obviously. 37 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,760 Looking forward to seeing what Dr Claws brings me this year. 38 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,360 I got a RADAR Key last year, it was fucking brilliant. 39 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,720 I'm looking forward to it. 40 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,000 Are you? I'm going to walk with a limp. 41 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,720 Is that solidarity or disrespectful? 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,120 No, solidarity. 43 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,640 Yeah - although be careful who you do this to, 44 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,240 because sometimes they don't have fingers. So, you know. 45 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,960 You've noticed something about the symbol on my desk, though? 46 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,240 Yeah - that's the official symbol for it on your desk. Yeah. 47 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,440 I mean, it looks like my hands, let's be quite frank about it, 48 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,400 it looks like me trying to catch a ball. 49 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,800 Now, while we're talking disabilities, last Saturday, 50 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,120 we mentioned it on the show, 51 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,480 but last Saturday I was at the National Tennis Centre 52 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,320 where the Lawn Tennis Association held the first ever Come and Try day 53 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,120 for what's called Para Standing Tennis. 54 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,480 Now, it's tennis for people with disabilities 55 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,960 who don't use a wheelchair. 56 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,800 We're gonna have a demonstration at the end of this part, 57 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,880 but it was an amazing day, it was an incredible day. 58 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,080 A load of people turned up from around the world, 59 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,000 including Paralympic champion Gordon Reid. 60 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,320 I'm not saying I was overexcited by another special guest, 61 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,240 but try to find someone in life who looks at you as lovingly 62 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,840 as I'm looking at Andy Murray. 63 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,240 You look at Andy Murray 64 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,000 like I look at the McDonald's festive menu. 65 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,040 It's like you've just turned round at the altar 66 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,920 on Married At First Sight and you can't believe your luck. 67 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,000 You kind of look like you're going, 68 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,160 "You don't need Judy, you've got me now." 69 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,360 Can I just say, Brooker, he's not married to Judy Murray. 70 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,880 Yeah, I know! Cos she's like his mentor, in't she? 71 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,320 Oh, right, OK! I thought you were like... And his mum. 72 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,360 No, I know he's not married to her! 73 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,640 If that was a romcom, it'd be called 50 Love. 74 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:45,880 Can I ask...? Yeah. 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,360 It's a bit rich Andy Murray turning up to disabled tennis day 76 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,280 going, "Well, this is the one I can win these days!" 77 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,600 Well, it was lovely... We all know you've got a hip injury, Andy, 78 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,800 you don't fucking qualify, mate! 79 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,520 He posted this special photo of the two of us meeting afterwards, 80 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,000 which I thought was really lovely - 81 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,760 but check out the guy in the background. 82 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,000 He kind of looks like Andy Murray's security. 83 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,280 It looks like Rag'n'Bone Man's fucking livid, doesn't it? 84 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,760 The weird thing is, that guy's been following me around all week - 85 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,000 every time I try to text Andy Murray he just walks over. 86 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,736 I think I'm safe now. At least on TV I can probably get away with it. 87 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,520 Dear Andy, really enjoyed meeting you... 88 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,520 APPLAUSE. 89 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,080 Unbelievable. 90 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,240 By the way... 91 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,720 The creepiest thing about that is, 92 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,800 you started the text with "Dear Andy". 93 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,640 Tell you what, regretting my Rag'n'Bone Man joke now. 94 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,360 I'm gonna get the shit beaten out of me. 95 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,680 Now, of course, we are live - 96 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,320 you can message us throughout the show and ask anything you want. 97 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,680 Find us @TheLastLeg, use the hashtag ♪IsltOK? 98 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,040 For example, is it OK that Buckingham Palace is considering legal action 99 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,000 after a Dutch translation of a book about the royal family 100 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,880 named two people who are alleged to have asked about 101 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,360 the skin colour of Harry and Meghan's baby? 102 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,760 OK, is it OK that we're still unsure 103 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,280 whether or not we can actually name those two people? 104 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,400 So, instead we're gonna play this. 105 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,360 APPLAUSE. 106 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,280 OK, so the game is very simple. 107 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,320 All you have to... What's that, sorry? 108 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,800 Oh, we can't do that either? 109 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,000 Oh, OK. No. 110 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,880 No, fair point. No, I do like my MBE. 111 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,720 Yeah, Uh-huh. 112 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,920 No, it would be a shame if something happened to it. 113 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,720 Yeah, OK. Thank you. 114 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,360 Fair point, Your Majesty. Um... Fuck off. 115 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,240 APPLAUSE. 116 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,640 I love that people were feeling sorry for a racist then. 117 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,760 On to the news of the week now, and as the COP28 Climate Conference 118 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,280 kicked off in Dubai, Steve said... 119 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,200 Now, let's put this into perspective. 120 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,760 The planet has just had the hottest 12 months on record, 121 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,560 ocean temperatures are the highest in recorded history, 122 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,240 and Antarctic sea ice is at a record low. 123 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,200 Meanwhile, we're holding a climate summit 124 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,840 in a country built on fossil fuels, 125 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,000 which is a bit like having an AA meeting in a Wetherspoons. 126 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,400 It was even reported this week that the president of COP28 127 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,800 secretly used his role to push oil trade 128 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,080 with foreign government officials. 129 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,800 Thing is, though, you know what their defence is gonna be, 130 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,440 they're gonna be there, all these leaders all there, 131 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,200 and they're gonna go, "Look, we'd only have to take another flight 132 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,360 "to do this at a later date 133 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,120 "so while we're all here now, let's just get it done." 134 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,720 So they're saving fuel? Yeah. 135 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,040 Why should Dubai care about climate change? 136 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,880 It's already a desert. 137 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,400 Like, it's as bad as it's gonna get! 138 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,280 That's incredibly liberating. 139 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,360 You're just like, "Fuck it, how hot can it get here?" 140 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,800 Well, yeah, but the other thing that I read during the week 141 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,800 is that with the sea levels rising, 142 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,800 I think it was 95% of all infrastructure on the coast 143 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,600 in the United Arab Emirates would be wiped out. 144 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,240 So, they will suffer. 145 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:27,200 Is that why they're building the fucking big... the big tall shit? 146 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,880 The big tall shit! When I went to Dubai, 147 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,960 I got off the plane, I walked out of the airport, 148 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,400 my glasses steamed up, 149 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,520 I thought, "This isn't for me," and I left. 150 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,880 So, Britain is represented at COP 151 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,240 by King Charles and Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, 152 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,920 who also took along Foreign Secretary David Cameron, 153 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,680 or as they like to call him, their working class friend. 154 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,560 It was revealed, though, that all three flew to the summit 155 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,200 on separate private jets. Is this OK? 156 00:07:55,240 --> 00:08:00,560 I think... My theory is, maybe they got on the planes 157 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,040 and it's like Home Alone, 158 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,120 and they forgot about Rishi like Kevin McCallister? 159 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:07,920 But what else are they gonna do? 160 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,400 Like, for me, I understand you can't have the Prime Minister and the King 161 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,000 on the same plane, but David Cameron, like, do you know what? 162 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,200 I reckon he would have gone, "Well, where should I go?" 163 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,920 and they're like, "Either plane, it doesn't really matter, Dave." 164 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,720 I think, two words, they should have done a road trip. 165 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,120 OK. All of them in a car together, Charles, Rishi, Cameron, 166 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,080 driving from London to Dubai, they're having a few adventures, 167 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,000 you film it, you put it on Amazon, 168 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,800 you save the planet at the same time, 169 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,160 you call it COP Gear. 170 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,360 APPLAUSE. 171 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,480 Arriving at COP28 on a private jet 172 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,120 is a bit like rocking up to an old folk's home 173 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,480 dressed as the Grim Reaper - 174 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,320 and it's not just Britain who's doing it. 175 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,176 A lot of the Middle Eastern leaders are also flying in on private jets - 176 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,840 sheikhs on a plane. 177 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,680 And none of them seem to care about the environment, either - 178 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,640 fakes on a plane. 179 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,496 And as we pointed out, a lot of them actually make their money from oil - 180 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,880 for fuck's sakes on a plane. 181 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,560 Number 10 released this photo today of the PM on his way to COP. 182 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,520 I don't know about you - do you know what I hear when I see that photo? 183 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:20,680 ♪ Tell me more, tell me more Did ya get very far? ♪ 184 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,320 I just think they all look so bored. 185 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,000 They all look like they can't wait to get back on their seat, 186 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,680 and the excitement of watching the map of the plane 187 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,120 go slowly across Europe. 188 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,040 Imagine being David Cameron and being told there's no room 189 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,400 on the plane, and then you see that picture turn up. 190 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,200 There seems to be a new genre of photo in the world right now. 191 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,200 Rishi Sunak on a plane surrounded by journalists 192 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,416 with a cup of tea in his hand. 193 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,560 Cos that's not the first time it's happened. 194 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,680 Here is in June on his way to Washington DC. 195 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,040 Here he is in May on his way to the G7. 196 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,760 The weird thing is, it's the same cup of tea. 197 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,440 He's just a very slow drinker. 198 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,320 I think the fact that he is holding a tea suggest that at some point 199 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,720 there was a meeting in which someone asked the question, 200 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,440 "What do normal people hold?" 201 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,960 To make it worse, he was in Dubai for eight hours. 202 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,480 He was only there for eight hours. 203 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,360 That's less time than it takes to bake a show stopper. 204 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,560 He was in Dubai for the same amount of time 205 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,720 that Liz Truss was in Downing Street. 206 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,280 Textbook Rishi, though. 207 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,080 Textbook Rishi - eight hours. 208 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,920 He's always struck me as the sort of bloke 209 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,040 who'd only do the first night of a stag do. 210 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,080 And, look, the big scandal that no-one's talking about at the moment 211 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,720 is the government actually has an independent advisory body 212 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,400 that tells them how to tackle climate change. 213 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,080 Now, not only is Rishi Sunak not taking their advice on board, 214 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,760 he's been accused of actually attacking them. 215 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,520 The Climate Change Committee literally told the government 216 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,600 what needs to be done, and the PM replied, and I quote, 217 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:55,040 "Everyone's entitled to their view." 218 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,960 These are environmental experts, they're proper scientist, 219 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,200 it's not just some bloke on YouTube. 220 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,320 What's interesting is that in the lead-up to COP28 221 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,880 the Prime Minister seemed to undergo 222 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,880 a slight environmentally aware rebrand. 223 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,080 That's right - the guy who flies back and forth 224 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,240 from his heated swimming pool by helicopter 225 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,360 was touting his green credentials this week. 226 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,120 He announced there's going to be - 227 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,080 the UK is going to get a new national park, 228 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,240 he also unveiled new nature plans, 229 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,720 and there's a really interesting thing that's going on, 230 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,520 and since the Uxbridge byelection - 231 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,800 so, you remember the byelection in Uxbridge, 232 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,600 the Tories won that byelection by a very small margin 233 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,840 and their big pledge was to stop the expansion 234 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,920 of the ultra low emission zone, or ULEZ. 235 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,400 MIMICS FOOTBALL CHANT: ULEZ! 236 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,840 Sorry, I don't know why... 237 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,760 I'm not in support of it! 238 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,280 Just every time I hear it! 239 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,360 That's honestly... It sounds like "You Reds!" 240 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,080 What...? ULEZ! You're not in support of ULEZ? 241 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,120 No, no, no, whoa, whoa, whoa. 242 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,760 Fuck off, Paxman! 243 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,240 So, what happened was, both parties started to believe 244 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,800 that environmental issues aren't that important to voters - 245 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,760 but there's a suggestion that the real reason Labour lost Uxbridge 246 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,080 wasn't ULEZ... 247 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,400 ULEZ! Thank you. 248 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,240 So, it was just because they ran a shit campaign. 249 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,640 So, the two takeaways for me are, 250 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,440 one, people do care about the environment, 251 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,040 and, two, sure, the Tories based the by election on ULEZ... ULEZ! 252 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,200 ..and, yes, they won, 253 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,360 but just because two things happen at the same time 254 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,200 doesn't mean one caused the other. 255 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,040 I mean, I had bad acne when I was a teenager, 256 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,176 it cleared up when I was 20 - 257 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,920 I'm not saying masturbating was the key. 258 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,840 MIMICS FOOTBALL CHANT: Masturbating! 259 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:31,680 That's...! 260 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,240 It was too many syllables to do in that voice. 261 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,720 Look, if anything, my last sentence just shows how underqualified we are 262 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,360 to give an opinion on climate change, 263 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,200 so let's welcome a man who knows more than us. 264 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,560 He's a naturalist, he's a photographer, he's a presenter 265 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,160 and he's a climate change campaigner - 266 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,200 please go really wild for Chris Packham. 267 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 268 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,440 Pleasure to have you on the show. 269 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,840 Right! 270 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,960 What are your thoughts on COP28? 271 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,400 It has all the promise of being a tragic fiasco. 272 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:10,120 Ooh. Do you think it's gonna be a tragic fiasco? 273 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,920 In a way I perversely hope so - 274 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,800 I think it needs to crash and burn completely, 275 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,680 because all of us series environmentalists, 276 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,800 all of the scientists who have lost faith in it 277 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,760 for the reasons you have already outlined... 278 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,600 Right. ..it's a sham - and ultimately, whatever happens, 279 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,320 is that they come away with pledges and promises 280 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,360 which are then immediately broken. 281 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,440 I mean, we had the pledge of the Paris Climate Accord. 282 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,640 Yeah. Trump pulled out straight away. 283 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,440 During the last - well, during the COP in Glasgow, 284 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,680 we pledged £96 million to help nations adapt to climate change 285 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,400 in the global south - we ripped that money off of the budget. 286 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,760 And, in fact, the Americans have halved their budget 287 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,800 for what they call loss and damage. 288 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,680 So, the loss and damage budget, 289 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,760 which they have actually agreed yesterday, in principle, 290 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,200 and today our Prime Minister turned up and said that he would agree 291 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:07,760 1.6 million - er, billion, £1.6 billion... 292 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,160 Yeah. ..and the total budget has shrunk to about 21 billion. 293 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,960 The UN say that to deal with the floods, the wildfires, 294 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,240 the loss of crops, the loss of life, 295 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,600 is gonna take somewhere in the region of 200-400 billion - 296 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,840 and just to put that in perspective, when you think about it, 297 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,080 so, if we are pledging to give them 1.6 billion... 298 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,880 Yeah. ..not that we probably will, 299 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,560 because we pulled out and reneged on that promise last time, 300 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,080 every - well, in 2022, 301 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:43,800 we subsidised the UK - solely the UK fossil fuel industry, 302 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,800 by 13.4 billion. 303 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,880 So, we are subsidising by 13.4 billion, 304 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,800 and offering 1.6 to those nations that are on fire, 305 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,640 underwater and people are dying. 306 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,800 So, you're saying COP is a bit of a copout, realistically? 307 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,920 Well, I went to the COP in Glasgow... Yeah. 308 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,360 ..and I went for the entire period 309 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,400 and it's not an understatement to say 310 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,280 I think that I came away chronically depressed. Wow. 311 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,200 Well, good to have you on, Chris. 312 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,320 It sounds like a review of this show! 313 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,560 OK, so I also wanted to talk to you about a letter that you wrote 314 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,400 to Ant and Dec this week, and I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. 315 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,280 Tell, us what were the contents of that letter and what inspired it? 316 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,040 Well, I've written to them many times, 317 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,480 and not just to Ant and Dec but to the ITV producers of the programme. 318 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,440 And I and many, 319 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,480 and I'm talking, you know, tens if not hundreds of thousands of people 320 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,360 have serious concerns about the animal welfare, 321 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,080 the fact that animals are being used solely for amusement 322 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,760 and entertainment, they reinforce stereotypes 323 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,360 and really, they're undoing all of the work 324 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,960 that myself and my colleagues do to try and engender a respect for life, 325 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,640 in the midst of a biodiversity crisis. 326 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,360 Now I should point out, ITV have said that, er, 327 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,360 they have a very strict environmental plan 328 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,160 and they're transparent about protocols and all that kind of stuff 329 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,560 and that they do look after the animals. But... 330 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,400 ADAM LAUGHS 331 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,960 ..would you nominate I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here 332 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,640 as your ♪DickOfTheYear? 333 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,520 Well, they've got a big dick in there at the moment, haven't they? 334 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,760 LAUGHTER AND CHEERING. 335 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,200 Well, I tell you what, that leads me very nicely onto our next bit 336 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,640 because it is time to launch 337 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,400 our annual search for the Dick of the Year. 338 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,800 Yes, on the day Beyonce drops the Renaissance Tour Movie, 339 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,440 we are dropping the dick and the balls. 340 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,240 Now, last year's Ball Bags were Liz Truss and Elon Musk, 341 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,040 who I think might graduate this year. 342 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,880 I think Elon Musk has got a good chance. 343 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,280 The ultimate Dick of the Year last year was Matt Hancock. 344 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,560 Stiff competition this year. 345 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,520 Who do you guys think might be in the running? 346 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,560 "Stiff competition" - was that a genuine joke? 347 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,240 Yeah. I mean, at my age, not all the time, but... 348 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,000 Oh... I mean, for a while, I thought, 349 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,240 with all of that business with the spa in the garden, 350 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,880 I thought Captain Tom's daughter was in for a little bit... Wow. 351 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,440 ..little bit of it, but no, I'm going to go, 352 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,960 I know Josh nominated it a couple of years ago 353 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 but I'm going to go with VAR 354 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,920 because I think VAR has arguably 355 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,600 become a bigger dick in the last couple of years, 356 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,920 and I think it's one of the most consistent dicks going. 357 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,920 Wow. Weekly dick! 358 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,680 Like, even Kim Jong-un apparently has the odd good day. 359 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,640 So I'm going to go VAR. It's a massive dick. 360 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,880 And look, I'm not just saying it as an Arsenal fan, 361 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,560 I don't think, but fuck, like.. 362 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,720 Joelinton pushed Gabriel and they looked three times at it! 363 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,880 But yeah, anyway, I just think it's a general thing for football fans. 364 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,640 Josh? Justin Timberlake. 365 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,520 What the fuck have you just said? 366 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,600 I read Britney's book, and I thought, 367 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,280 "I don't like Justin Timberlake, not enough to nominate him, 368 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,960 "but I know how much Alex loves him, so I'm nominating him." 369 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,680 Look, our poll for tonight is this. 370 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,840 Who are you nominating as your Dick of the Year? 371 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,200 Tweet us @TheLastLeg, use the hashtag ♪DickOfTheYear. 372 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,640 Next week we'll whittle it down to the final six nominees. 373 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,080 The week after that we'll announce the Dick, the Ball Bags, 374 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,760 and the Steaming Turd Award for 2023. 375 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,320 But you know what they say in showbiz - 376 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,480 the Dickies don't start till the one-legged guy sings. 377 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 378 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:11,200 ♪ It's the most wonderful dicks of the year 379 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,520 ♪ Ding-dong, ding-dong 380 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,600 ♪ Who will you pledge for the meat and two veg? 381 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,360 ♪ We just wanna hear 382 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:26,400 ♪ Who's the most wonderful dick of the year! ♪ 383 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,840 CHEERING All right! 384 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,640 Let's welcome tonight's next guests. 385 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,120 She once appeared on The Voice, he's just made a silent film, 386 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,040 let's hope they meet somewhere in the middle - 387 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,480 please welcome comedians Harry Hill and Jordan Gray! 388 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 389 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,480 Hi! 390 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,600 Welcome, welcome, welcome. 391 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,440 Welcome. Harry, lovely to have you back. 392 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,016 Jordan, welcome for the first time. Thanks so much for having me. 393 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,216 It's nice, you're nice. I met you a few weeks ago and I've been 394 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,776 a little bit obsessed with you, if you don't mind me saying. Have you? 395 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,896 We met on Stand Up To Cancer, and you was all charming 396 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,400 and all nice and lovely... Yeah. ..and as a transgender woman 397 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,840 I think that we would make a very handsome couple 398 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,160 because you're missing one leg, 399 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,200 and I've got a third one I don't even need. 400 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,840 LAUGHTER. 401 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,240 Wow. I tell you what, if yours has a foot, fair play to you! 402 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,520 Er, thoughts on COP28? 403 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,280 Do you have strong thoughts on COP28, Jordan? Oh... 404 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,440 If the climate wants to change, just, we should respect that. 405 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,160 LAUGHTER. 406 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,560 Harry? 407 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,600 Well, I mean, the truth is that it's our generation, Chris, 408 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,680 that ruined the world. You know, we've filled the ocean with plastic, 409 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,920 and we burnt all the fossil fuels, but, you know... 410 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,640 ..it was a lot of fun. 411 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,240 LAUGHTER. 412 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,880 It was. You know... 413 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,240 You could have a bonfire every Sunday afternoon, 414 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,080 see how dark you could get the smoke. 415 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,680 Throw on a mattress or a couple of rubber tyres. 416 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,000 LAUGHTER. 417 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,920 Now, look... We didn't know. 418 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,520 There was a story this week that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un 419 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,120 has had a hymn composed in his own honour, 420 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,440 so we've written one for Rishi Sunak and his green credentials. 421 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,840 Jordan is going to sing it for us at the end of the show. 422 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,480 But in some good green news this week, 423 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,440 the first transatlantic flight by a large passenger plane 424 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,680 powered only by alternative fuels landed in the US. 425 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,560 It was operated by Virgin Atlantic, went from Heathrow to New York. 426 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,960 It used sustainable aviation fuels that can be made from crops, 427 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,840 household waste and cooking oils. 428 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,120 Is this a good thing, Chris? Oh... 429 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,720 I mean... it's Branson bullshit, frankly. 430 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,680 It's just greenwashing. 431 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,040 The Royal Society published a paper in February of this year 432 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,240 which said that if the UK, just the UK air industry 433 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,720 started to use this type of fuel, then half of the farmland in Britain 434 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,880 would have to be given over to using it 435 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,360 and we'd have to double the amount of energy we get 436 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,840 from renewables, electricity, in order to satisfy that. 437 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,400 And globally all it means is that we're going to be 438 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,600 taking food out of people's mouths to put it into aircraft, 439 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,480 or we're going to be cutting down more rainforests 440 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,520 where the world's biodiversity lives 441 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,760 to grow more fuel to put in aircraft. 442 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,360 Jordan? Harry? Thoughts? 443 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,680 Surely we'd have to increase the number of chip shops as well. 444 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,680 LAUGHTER. 445 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,560 Which is putting more food in people's mouths, isn't it? Yeah. 446 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,800 Anything is an alternative fuel if your imagination is good enough. 447 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,680 LAUGHTER Gotta try harder. 448 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,720 Look, we mentioned... We mentioned earlier 449 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,600 the Para-Standing Tennis Day I attended last weekend, 450 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,680 which was thrown by the Lawn Tennis Association. 451 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,240 But I want to go back to it 452 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,440 cos as is often the case with disability sport, 453 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,856 I was kind of blown away by the way 454 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,120 that different people adapt to their disabilities, 455 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,160 especially when it came to tennis. One was a guy called Ross Cudmore, 456 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,440 who hit one of the biggest serves I've ever faced, 457 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,240 with one of the most unusual techniques, and rather than tell you 458 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,760 how he serves, we thought we'd bring him along to show you. 459 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,480 So let's go meet Ross Cudmore. 460 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,360 WIMBLEDON THEME. 461 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,200 Lovely to see you. So let's start with this. 462 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,800 How long have you been playing tennis? 463 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,200 I've been playing tennis for the last 18 years. 18 years. 464 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,000 And can you describe the way you serve? 465 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,760 Yeah. So I start, racket under my left arm. Yeah. 466 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,920 The place-up comes from my right arm. Yeah. 467 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,520 Racket to the right arm, and through, serving on the right arm. 468 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,880 JOSH: Show-off! 469 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,520 So give us... 470 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,600 Let's starting with a half-pace serve just to see how this is done. 471 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,600 So that's half pace. Yeah. 472 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,320 All right. So what we're going to do 473 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,480 is ask our guests if you can replicate that. 474 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,520 So we have a tennis racket down here. 475 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,400 Maybe use one of these foam ball, if that's all right. Health and safety. 476 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,040 So you've got to tuck it un... That's it. 477 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,520 AUDIENCE: Oh! 478 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,000 Sorry, madam! 479 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 480 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,560 Good shot! 481 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,600 Er... Sorry! No, I'm just hearing, 482 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,360 we've just been sent a letter by Ant and Dec. 483 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,080 LAUGHTER. 484 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,960 A tip, what's a tip? 485 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,640 Yeah, the trick with this is that you've got to throw the ball 486 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,400 slightly higher to give yourself a bit of time to get the racket out. 487 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,600 Use that one, mate? 488 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,200 And then throw with your right hand... 489 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,240 No, what? Right. 490 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,720 Oh! 491 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,440 Oh! 492 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,800 APPLAUSE. 493 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,800 That could have done more damage... 494 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,840 ALEX: I mean, you win for that. 495 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,080 That one? How did you do that? 496 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,920 I didn't even know you were up there until then. 497 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,720 So throw with your right hand 498 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,600 and then grab the racket and then serve it. All right. 499 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,160 LAUGHTER Sorry, sorry! I got that wrong. 500 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,600 Sorry, I got that wrong. All right. 501 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,120 Ross... He did throw it with the right hand. 502 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,520 He did throw it with the right hand. Ross, can you show us 503 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,640 a full-pace serve? Cos this is what blew me away last weekend. 504 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,240 AUDIENCE GASPS. 505 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,160 That is unbelievable. 506 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,240 APPLAUSE. 507 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,600 That! 508 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:13,960 Right, go on. 509 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,800 Oh, go on, are you going to...? 510 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,240 No, no, no, I reckon we're good, Alex, I reckon we're good. 511 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,800 If you want to play Para-Standing Tennis go to the LTA website. 512 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,200 We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break 513 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,920 as we kick Greece right in the Elgin... 514 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,400 I dare you. Go on. 515 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,040 Go on. 516 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,880 You're the little boy that just got everything he wanted. 517 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 518 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,320 We also want to know who you want to nominate as Dick of the Year. 519 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,640 Tweet us @TheLastLeg, use the hashtag ♪DickOfTheYear. 520 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,880 We'll see you in a little bit. 521 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 522 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 523 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:05,760 Welcome back to The Last Leg, 524 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,280 we're joined by Chris Packham, Jordan Gray and Harry Hill. 525 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,480 If you missed it, Jordan just hit Josh with a tennis ball. 526 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,800 Did you want me to say, "Ow! Umpire!" then? 527 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,680 Would you like to see it in slow motion? Oh, yes, please. 528 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,960 OK, here it is. Here it is. Here it is. 529 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,720 OK. Lovely ball toss, 530 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,760 turned it into a backhand... Oh, yeah. 531 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,280 ..straight at Josh. 532 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,280 I'm so sorry. 533 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,760 Where there's a blame, there's a claim. 534 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,760 Now, look, in honour of Chris being here, 535 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,720 we do have a new segment tonight, and it's this one. 536 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,920 DOG BARKS ♪ Animals get the horn! ♪ 537 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,120 LAUGHTER. 538 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,400 Tell you what we don't have. Yeah. More budget. 539 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,600 So scientists this week discovered that the serotine bats 540 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,200 have sex without penetration. 541 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,680 These bats basically cuddle for an hour, 542 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,400 rub up against each other for a bit, and then the male ejaculates. 543 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,160 Pretty much every teenage party I ever went to. 544 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,080 The reason there's no penetration is that the male bat's penis 545 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:12,320 is around seven times longer than the female's vagina, 546 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,360 and it has a heart-shaped head 547 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,880 that is seven times wider than the vaginal opening. 548 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,760 So... Yeah. 549 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,720 Chris, I wanted to impress you so I've done my research. 550 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,960 Serotine bats, right, 551 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,360 22% of their entire body length 552 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,160 is their penis. 553 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,040 They are a quarter dick. 554 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,320 And it got me thinking, 555 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,920 how do they sleep upside down with that weighing them? 556 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,720 Imagine sleeping... That is what it got you thinking? 557 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,520 Imagine sleeping upside down with that length, like, 558 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,040 poking you in the face. 559 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,040 You'd be using it as a pillow. 560 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,600 Look... This is the first story... 561 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,960 They're a quarter dick! A quarter of them is dick! 562 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,720 I know, I'm not shocked by that. 563 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,400 I'm just shocked that this is the first story in 11 years 564 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,720 you've researched! 565 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,840 LAUGHTER. 566 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,520 Is this, like, unusual, or are there other animals 567 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,240 that have ridiculous things like this? 568 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,800 There are some fantastic penises out there. 569 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,680 LAUGHTER. 570 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,080 So firstly you've got exploding penises. What? 571 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,800 So honey bees, when they're mating, the queen flies up into the sky 572 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,480 chased by lots of drones, the males. Yeah. 573 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,520 They have what you call an endophallus which basically, 574 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,400 when they make contact with the female's stinger opening, 575 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,600 everts itself due to hydrostatic pressure, 576 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:43,400 pumps the semen into the queen so powerfully, 577 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,320 an audible pop and the penis explodes 578 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,840 and the male drops to the ground dead. 579 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,840 SHOCKED LAUGHTER. 580 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,480 No wonder Sting got into Tantric sex. 581 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:58,440 There's an octopus that has a modified arm which doesn't develop 582 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,880 as those that typically reach out with their tentacles. 583 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,400 Here we go. It forms in a pouch beneath its eye. Yeah. 584 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,960 When it gets close to a female and the mating conditions are right, 585 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,400 that too explodes, detaches from the body, 586 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,720 swims to the female, climbs inside her body... 587 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,000 Oh, come off it. 588 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,200 He's just making it up now. 589 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,640 Once again the male dies. The female can carry 590 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,880 several male octopuses' arms around inside her body, 591 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,920 and when she wants to lay her eggs, 592 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,840 she can choose which one she takes the sperm from. Wow. Wow. 593 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,280 OK, there was one newspaper report... What I want to do 594 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,600 is see Chris doing those anecdotes on Celebrity First Dates. 595 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,000 LAUGHTER. 596 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,760 One newspaper report this week 597 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,600 on the sex lives of a variety of animals included dolphins, 598 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,760 who are known to mate up to three times in five minutes. 599 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,960 Dolphins also appear... According... 600 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,200 They appear to be addicted to sex play, and males 601 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,080 have been seen inserting their penises into sharks' orifices, 602 00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:01,400 the gap between turtles' bodies and shells, and even into dead fish. 603 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,120 Again, pretty much every teenage party I ever went to. Yes? 604 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,240 By orifices... Yeah. ..do you mean that, like, 605 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,400 do you mean, like, their mouth? 606 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,200 So there's like... 607 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,360 You've got to be pretty brave to put your dick in a shark's mouth. 608 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,480 So you've got, like, dolphins... 609 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,680 There are sharks swimming round like Jaws, like... 610 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,280 Yeah. And there's a dolphin that swims past... Can you do it again? 611 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,640 Yeah. 612 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,560 You know, it's like there and the dolphin is like, 613 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,280 "You didn't get it!" 614 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,800 Just sticking it in. OK. 615 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,600 Did you say mouths? 616 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,360 I said "orifices". Right. 617 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,800 You chose mouth. 618 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,560 How many...? What other ones have you got? 619 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,080 Maybe that's why they call it a blowhole. 620 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,080 Oh, shit, yeah. Every day is a school day. 621 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,720 Let's get back to the proper news now. Steve said... 622 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,040 Now, this week, Rishi Sunak 623 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,080 cancelled a meeting with the Greek Prime Minister 624 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,640 in a row over something the British call the Elgin Marbles, 625 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,360 but the rest of the world call the Parthenon Sculptures. 626 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,600 Before we go any further, let's explain what the Elgin Marbles are. 627 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,160 They are a number of ancient artefacts that date back 628 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,920 to the fifth century BC. 629 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,520 They were taken from the Parthenon and the Acropolis in Greece 630 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,080 by the Earl of Elgin in the early 1800s, 631 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,720 he says with permission, others say without. 632 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,560 He later sold them to the British Museum to pay off debts 633 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,760 associated with his divorce. 634 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,440 It's basically Shirley Valentine, but if she had smuggled Tom Conti 635 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,320 back to England in a crate and later sold him to a museum. 636 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,760 Now, we were talking about this during the week. 637 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,000 Alex, you said you have no idea what the Elgin Marbles look like. 638 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,840 No, I don't. I've spent too much time googling bat dicks. 639 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,440 ♪ Bat dick, na-na-na... ♪ 640 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,520 So we're going to play a game now of Marbles Or Not Marbles. 641 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,280 OK. OK. So I'm going to show you some images, Alex. 642 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,920 You have to tell me if they are the Elgin Marbles 643 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,520 or not the Elgin Marbles. Got it. Let's start with this one. 644 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,640 There you go. 645 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,920 Ohh... Aren't they those little mints that you get 646 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,240 when you go in a restaurant? 647 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,120 Correct, they are... Well, they are white marbles. Let's go with this. 648 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,840 Elgin Marbles are not? No. No chance. 649 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,960 Do they look old? 650 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,120 No, they look new. OK. Correct. 651 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,600 They are just kids' marbles. Next one. 652 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,960 No, it's a bit, like, sculpture, innit? 653 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,800 Made of marble, it is an actual Elgin... 654 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,280 Yes, it is part... So they're not fucking marble?! 655 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,320 They're not marble. Jesus Christ! 656 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,720 All right. Next one. 657 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,720 But dolphins, they just... Anyway! 658 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,840 He's been near a dol... 659 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,240 He's tried to do it with a shark, in't he, that geezer! 660 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,400 That must be. If the last one was, then that's got to be Elgin... 661 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,600 Yes, that is actual marble. Next one. 662 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,920 I don't know who the fuck that is, but no. 663 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,920 That's Miss Marple. Oh, Miss Marple! 664 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,200 Course it is. 665 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:03,080 That's Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel. Next one. 666 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,280 Happy International Day of Disabilities. 667 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,720 Yeah, that's got to be more... 668 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,640 I get it. That's what Marbles is, yeah? Yeah. 669 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,880 They are the actual Marbles. And last one... 670 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:18,960 ALEX GUFFAWS. 671 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,320 Correct. She just lost her marbles. 672 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,160 OK. So Rishi Sunak claimed the Greek Prime Minister 673 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,800 assured him he wouldn't ask for the return of the sculptures 674 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,016 during his visit to the UK, but when he did, Rishi said, 675 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,520 "I don't want to be your friend any more." 676 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,280 That's basically what happened. How do we feel about this? 677 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,040 I wonder if he's just holding on to a bunch of headless statues 678 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,640 in case he needs to replace another Foreign Secretary. 679 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,640 A Greek newspaper carried this kind of blunt headline on Wednesday. 680 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,640 LAUGHTER 681 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,520 I get the impression they want 'em back. 682 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,080 I think so. 683 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,880 Then King Charles today made his feelings known. 684 00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,320 He rocked up to COP28, made his speech with the Greek flag 685 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,120 on his tie, and the Greek colours on his pocket handkerchief. 686 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,240 To me, though, that's got airport present written all over it. 687 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,720 He's like, "Yeah, Prince Harry got me this when he went to Zante." 688 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:16,280 He actually stole that off a Greek man and won't give it back. 689 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,640 Now, Byron wrote a poem about those Marbles. 690 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,360 Harry, I believe you have done something similar. 691 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,000 I've had a go, yeah. 692 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,160 A little poem. An updated version. 693 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,320 The Greeks said, we want you to free 'em. 694 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,360 So Rishi, he wouldn't see 'em. 695 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,800 But they know what to do. 696 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,360 Just get in the queue. 697 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,720 And pop down the British Museum. 698 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,320 APPLAUSE. 699 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,360 What are you...? 700 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,760 All right. 701 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,760 So something like 60% of the British population 702 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,320 think we should return them. What do we think? 703 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,120 Unless we're gonna flog 'em, give 'em back. Yeah. 704 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:53,000 There is a way of getting the Marbles and the Parthenon 705 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,160 back together. Yeah. If every British tourist who goes to Greece 706 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,080 this summer takes a spare suitcase and a hammer, 707 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,880 we could nick the Parthenon. 708 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,800 And bring in back here?! 709 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,560 In fact, two! 710 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,880 What do you think of the actual Marbles? 711 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,320 Well, I mean, half of them haven't got any heads, have they, 712 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,160 so, I mean, there is an argument for updating them 713 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,320 with some Greek people that we might have heard of. 714 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,160 Like... We've got an illustration, I believe. OK, yeah. 715 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:23,720 Like George Michael, 716 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,960 Stavros Flatley and Prince Philip. 717 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,480 LAUGHTER. 718 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,080 Now, look, before we go to the break, 719 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,600 an ad for a Northern Irish pub went viral this week 720 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,280 when it created a tear-jerking Christmas moment 721 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,440 that even John Lewis would have loved. 722 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,360 Here's some highlights from the low-budget festive shoot. 723 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:48,440 ♪ God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts 724 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:52,320 ♪ Guess he kissed the girls and made them cry 725 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,960 ♪ Those hard-faced queens of misadventure 726 00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,240 ♪ Oh, and if I had a brain 727 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,520 ♪ No-one needs to be alone, singing 728 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,920 ♪ People help the people 729 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,320 ♪ Nothing will drag you down 730 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,040 ♪ Oh, and if I had a brain... ♪ 731 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,640 It's a beautiful ad, but, Harry, 732 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,280 you think something else is going on here. 733 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,880 Possibly. 734 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:26,720 Roll it again and I'll tell you what I think. OK. Sure. 735 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,000 You got it? Yeah. 736 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,360 So he's laying... It's Theresa May laying a bunch of flowers 737 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,480 on a giant litter tray. 738 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:39,440 There's Iain Stirling and Laura Whitmore with their alcoholic dog. 739 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,360 This is just glorifying lunchtime drinking, 740 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,600 one of the advantages of working from home. 741 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,680 And there's the dog. GRUFF VOICE: "Can I have a drink?" 742 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:53,320 And then they try and flog him a funeral plan. 743 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,480 LAUGHTER. 744 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,560 APPLAUSE. 745 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,360 "Give us three grand..." 746 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:07,200 Yeah. "Give us three grand and you get a free Parker pen." 747 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,800 We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break, 748 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,720 as a British person tries to steal a cultural artefact from Australia. 749 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,280 Plus, we want to know who you'd like to nominate 750 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,960 for Dick of the Year. Tweet us... 751 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,400 See you in a little bit. 752 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,080 Welcome back to The Last Leg. 753 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,136 We're joined by Chris Packham, Jordan Gray and Harry Hill. 754 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,760 There are a few developments in the world of fashion 755 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,680 that we want to update you on. 756 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:45,560 Apparently sleeves that cover your hands are all the rage 757 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,360 in what's being called the "cosy girl" aesthetic. Here's a pic. 758 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,320 It's supposed to look like you've borrowed your boyfriend's clothes, 759 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,720 but unless she's dating Inspector Gadget, I don't think it's working. 760 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,280 That's not fucking new! Have you ever seen me in a jumper? 761 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,320 I've been rocking that for years. 762 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,480 Should be called "cosy Brooker". 763 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,520 I'm very impressed... I can't wait to see you at Milan Fashion Week, 764 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,200 sat next to Anna Wintour. 765 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,920 You strike me as a man of fashion, Chris. 766 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,560 My sister is a fashion designer so I have to try and fly the flag 767 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,720 for the family. Right! Very fancy. I'm liking it. 768 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,000 Yeah. Jordan, are you fashion or are you fashion faux pas? 769 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,960 I'm fashion... I don't normally wear a beret. 770 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,840 I'm wearing a beret tonight cos a really nice lady sent it to me. 771 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,200 This designer. This lady called Tina Crawford. 772 00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:32,760 She sewed a picture of me into the top of this beret 773 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,240 from a poster of me, from my tour. 774 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,120 I'm nude on that poster but I've got a microphone covering 775 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,240 the Jane Thomas area. We've got that poster. It looks like this. 776 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,280 So what she's done is, she's used the bubble on the top of the thing 777 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:49,520 to be that bit, and I'll show you what she's done. 778 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,400 That's my... 779 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,880 That's me with a little... Can you see that, Harry? 780 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,360 I don't know if you can see the little... Yeah, I can. 781 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,800 Careful with that, it might explode! 782 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,040 APPLAUSE. 783 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,360 And, Harry, I noticed today 784 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,840 that Rishi Sunak seems to be adopting one of your fashion traits. 785 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,360 Have a look at this from the plane. 786 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,040 Is he jacking my swag? 787 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,040 Now, while we're still talking fashion, 788 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:22,400 for £695, this striking Balenciaga towel skirt will make you 789 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,400 look like you just hopped out of the shower. 790 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:26,960 Thoughts? 791 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,376 Yeah, I went into Balenciaga to buy that, and they had run out 792 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,760 so I got the hat instead. 793 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,720 And I also got the cape. They do this nice cape. 794 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,240 APPLAUSE. 795 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,480 Now, earlier we talked about the Elgin Marbles 796 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,880 and whether they were stolen from Greece. 797 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,440 This next story makes me kind of understand how they feel, 798 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,040 since a British man by the name of Dr Alastair Bush is 799 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,440 currently in Australia. He's about to compete in 800 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,160 the World Mullet Championships, 801 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,360 to raise awareness for testicular cancer. 802 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,160 We spoke to him a few weeks ago, 803 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,800 but we can cross live to him now in downtown Kurri Kurri. 804 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,160 Hello, Dr Alastair Bush. Hello. How are you guys? 805 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,640 Fine! 806 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,200 And to prove that you are an outback Australia, 807 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:21,840 the Wi-Fi's terrible. How are the preparations going? 808 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,920 Yeah, good, thanks. Good. 809 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,160 Here, at the moment it's all building up, lots going on, 810 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,360 people are arriving, but no competition yet. 811 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,080 OK. So Harry is going to give you a bit of a pep talk right now. 812 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,200 LAUGHTER. 813 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:38,960 Take it away, Harry. 814 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,280 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: Don't go too far there. 815 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,760 Don't cut it too tight to your head or you'll end up... 816 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,440 NORMAL ACCENT: This is an Australian accent! OK. 817 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,600 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: ..or you'll end up with a mohican. Mohican. 818 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,360 That's not real. He doesn't know it. 819 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,840 Alastair, we're all rooting for you, we're all keeping an eye 820 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,920 on you, good luck, and I hope that pep talk helped! 821 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,840 Bringing it home! 822 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,200 I've got all this stuff. 823 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,600 We did a bit of research. 824 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,480 There's a number of family events at the Mullet Championships. 825 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,760 There's Water Pong but they've got something 826 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,600 called The Last Leg Shoe Flick, in honour of our show. 827 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,200 The game involves kicking a shoe and aiming to land it 828 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,200 on a table five metres away. 829 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:25,800 So in honour of the World Mullet Championships honouring us, 830 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,160 we're going to do it live in the studio right now. 831 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,640 It's the Last Leg Shoe Flick! 832 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,560 All right. 833 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,560 So here's how it works. 834 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,440 A dolphin would love your mouth like that! 835 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,000 So the idea is, you balance a flip-flop - 836 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,560 or as we call them in Australia, thongs - 837 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,480 balance it on your foot and then try and get it in my mouth. 838 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,600 I don't think I can even balance it on my foot at the moment. 839 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,240 OK. Ready? 840 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,880 OTHERS: Ohh! I've got short. One by one, everybody have a crack. 841 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,680 Oh, this is tense. 842 00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:06,080 Come on, Josh! 843 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,760 Oh, no! 844 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,480 Alex. 845 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,920 Here we go. 846 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,720 This is what they call the money shot. 847 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,080 ALL: Ohh! 848 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,760 Definitely the closest so far. Chris. 849 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,480 Oh, I smell a Bafta. 850 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,920 Oh, the shoes. The shoes... Ohh! 851 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,840 I'd say that Alex is the closest right now. 852 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,920 Watch out, Josh. 853 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,560 JOSH LAUGHS. 854 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,160 GROANS. 855 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,720 You've got this, Harry. You've got this, Harry. 856 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,200 Who said light entertainment was dead? 857 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:44,680 Oh! 858 00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:48,880 Alex! Alex, you are the winner of that. That is amazing. 859 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,200 CHEERING. 860 00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:54,120 We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break. 861 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,600 Josh is going to wrap up the last seven days, 862 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,920 Jordan's going to sing a hymn for Rishi. See you in a little bit! 863 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,400 Welcome back to The Last Leg. 864 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,880 We're joined by Chris Packham, Jordan Gray and Harry Hill. 865 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,080 Josh has been chiselling away at the last seven days. What have you got? 866 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,840 I've got some great clips. Would you like to see the sweetest moment 867 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,040 of a young boy sharing his joy at his new role 868 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,840 in the school Nativity? Yes, please. 869 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,280 Guess what I am in the Nativity? 870 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,160 I'm a classic one! Classic role, is it? Classic part? Yeah. 871 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,600 Um... Joseph? 872 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:40,840 No. Oh... Uh... One of the Three Wise Men? 873 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,720 No. 874 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,880 One of the innkeepers? 875 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,600 No. Um... 876 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,800 PHONE: Press the button to answer. Call rejected. 877 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,680 It's a classic part? Yeah. 878 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,680 OK. Um... You tell me, then. 879 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:56,840 I'm door-holder number three! 880 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,840 I'll be holding doors. That's amazing! 881 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:01,840 Holding doors for who? 882 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,560 Um... probably Joseph and Mary. 883 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,200 Oh, my gosh. Were you pleased when they said that? 884 00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,880 Yeah. And... What did you do? 885 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,560 And, I was, like, 886 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:17,160 "I'm a door holder. Get in there. Let's go. Yes." 887 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 888 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,160 Take that heart-warming moment... Yep. 889 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,960 ..and try and let it carry you through this brutal footage of 890 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,160 everyone's favourite, kiss cam, 891 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,400 at a recent NBA game. 892 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,320 CROWD GROANS. 893 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,080 Oh, I said it before, and I'll say it agin, that was like 894 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,360 every teenage party I ever went to. 895 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,560 Right, this'll cheer you up. Would you like to see a glitzy 896 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,040 fundraising company posting a snazzy Insta ad, 897 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,760 only for it to cut off at an inopportune moment? Yes, please. 898 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:17,840 Still dreaming of winning this luxurious Cotswold house 899 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,000 worth £3.5 million? 900 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,920 Well, come with me. Let's take a look around. 901 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:25,960 You could soon be waking up in this 902 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,080 palatial main bedroom 903 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,120 before taking a sh...! 904 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 905 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,360 Right, we asked you for your DickOfTheYear nominees. 906 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:43,320 I'm just gonna read through a random selection. 907 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,840 Rishi Sunak, Suella Braverman, ChatGPT, 908 00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,960 Robert Jenrick, Suella Braverman, Putin, Suella Braverman, 909 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,120 Rishi Sunak, the bellend who chopped down the tree, 910 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:56,920 Vladimir Putin, Elon Musk, Suella Braverman. 911 00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,440 Next week we will announce the six nominees and you can choose. 912 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,080 Jordan is about to close the show with a green hymn 913 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,296 we've written for Rishi Sunak, 914 00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,496 but before she does, would you please thank our guests - 915 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,160 Chris Packham! 916 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,640 Jordan Gray! 917 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,600 And Harry Hill! 918 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:18,160 And my co-hosts - Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker! 919 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,080 We'll be back next week with 920 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,960 comedian Kevin Bridges and politician Baroness Warsi. 921 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,120 But right now, 922 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:29,480 since North Korea's Kim Jong-un commissioned a hymn for himself 923 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,360 this week, we've composed one for Rishi Sunak 924 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,560 to be sung right now by Jordan Grey. 925 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,160 Thanks for watching The Last Leg. 926 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,960 My name's Adam Hills. See you next week for the next leg. 927 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,080 ♪ I heard there was a secret deal 928 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,880 ♪ Suella agreed and then revealed 929 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,120 ♪ But you don't really 930 00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:01,440 ♪ Talk about her do you? 931 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,360 ♪ You're so obsessed with being seen 932 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:09,120 ♪ As someone who is really green 933 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:16,080 ♪ Then you fly around the world in your helicopter 934 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,200 ♪ Helicopter Everyone! 935 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:24,000 ♪ Helicopter What an arsehole. 936 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:36,200 ♪ Helicopter ♪ Helicopter Come on! 937 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:40,120 ♪ You vowed to keep the planet cool 938 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,920 ♪ Then you changed the law to heat your pool 939 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:50,920 ♪ Our climate worries seem to bounce right off ya 940 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:55,960 ♪ So you announced a National Park 941 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,320 ♪ And left us all to build an ark 942 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:05,040 ♪ While you fly around the world in your helicopter 943 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:17,880 ♪ Helicopter ♪ Helicopter ♪ Helicopter 944 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:24,200 ♪ Helicopter. ♪ 945 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,400 Thanks very much. APPLAUSE. 946 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,880 Ah, fuck 'em! 947 00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,560 Subtitles by Red Bee Media