1 00:00:01,403 --> 00:00:03,275 - NOW, I'M THINKING THAT THIS IS PROBABLY 2 00:00:03,275 --> 00:00:04,696 A LITTLE SMALLER THAN YOUR PREVIOUS PLACE, 3 00:00:04,696 --> 00:00:06,908 BUT IT'S STILL PRETTY NICE. 4 00:00:06,908 --> 00:00:08,490 YOU KNOW, THE LANDLORD'S A BUDDY OF MINE. 5 00:00:08,490 --> 00:00:09,951 THIS PLACE ISN'T EVEN LISTED. 6 00:00:09,951 --> 00:00:11,863 HE'S LETTING US GET IN EARLY. TAKE A LOOK. 7 00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:15,747 SO, NINA WHITLEY, WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME, 8 00:00:17,369 --> 00:00:20,082 HUH? 9 00:00:20,082 --> 00:00:22,294 - HUH. 10 00:00:22,294 --> 00:00:23,795 OKAY. 11 00:00:23,795 --> 00:00:26,508 IS THERE ANOTHER HALF? NO, THIS IS THE WHOLE THING. 12 00:00:26,508 --> 00:00:27,589 OKAY, UM-- 13 00:00:27,589 --> 00:00:29,341 [clears throat] 14 00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:30,262 YOU KNOW WHAT, I DO LIKE TO TAKE A PLACE 15 00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:32,224 AND MAKE IT MY OWN, 16 00:00:32,224 --> 00:00:33,935 DO SOME DECORATING AND SOME FUTZING. 17 00:00:33,935 --> 00:00:35,887 I'M A BIT OF A FUTZER. 18 00:00:35,887 --> 00:00:38,270 WOW, WERE THE LAST TENANTS WHO LIVED HERE KEEBLER ELVES? 19 00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:40,182 THIS PLACE IS REALLY TINY. 20 00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:42,314 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS. 21 00:00:42,314 --> 00:00:43,735 I CAN'T, ACTUALLY. I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T-- 22 00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:45,527 WHERE WOULD I PUT MY L-SHAPED COUCH? 23 00:00:45,527 --> 00:00:46,948 - HEY, YOU'RE A PUBLIC DEFENDER NOW. 24 00:00:46,948 --> 00:00:48,530 THIS IS A PUBLIC DEFENDER-SIZED SPACE. 25 00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:49,821 YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A MURDER-FREE ZIP CODE 26 00:00:49,821 --> 00:00:52,244 IN THIS AREA-- THIS IS THE SIZE. 27 00:00:52,244 --> 00:00:54,116 LISTEN, BETWEEN US, I'D JUMP ON THIS QUICK. 28 00:00:54,116 --> 00:00:55,537 IT'S NOT GONNA BE AROUND FOREVER, 29 00:00:55,537 --> 00:00:57,249 SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? 30 00:00:57,249 --> 00:00:58,830 - OH, MY GOD. 31 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,582 YOU'RE GETTING A COMMISSION 32 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,204 FROM YOUR LITTLE LANDLORD BUDDY FRIEND, AREN'T YOU? 33 00:01:02,204 --> 00:01:06,378 - WHAT? IT'S NOT A GAME-CHANGING AMOUNT. 34 00:01:06,378 --> 00:01:08,210 I MEAN, IT'S MORE I'M DOING A FAVOR FOR THE GUY. 35 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,921 IT'S WIN-WIN FOR EVERYBODY. 36 00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,593 - SON OF A BITCH. 37 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:14,596 - ♪ HEY, NOW 38 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,718 ♪ 39 00:01:16,718 --> 00:01:19,020 ♪ HEY, NOW 40 00:01:20,021 --> 00:01:21,223 [telephone rings] 41 00:01:21,223 --> 00:01:22,314 - ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, 42 00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:24,186 IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN. 43 00:01:24,186 --> 00:01:25,187 - THE TIME WHEN YOU SHED YOUR LARVAE SKIN, 44 00:01:25,187 --> 00:01:26,608 BECOME A BUTTERFLY? 45 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,360 - I'M TALKING ABOUT THE KEELY FOUNDATION 46 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,781 FUNDRAISING GALA... [all groaning] 47 00:01:29,781 --> 00:01:31,993 WHERE WE BEG FOR MONEY FOR THIS SINKING SHIP, 48 00:01:31,993 --> 00:01:33,575 AND IF YOU WANT A JOB TO COME BACK TO, 49 00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,157 YOU'LL SCHMOOZE, SUCK UP, 50 00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:37,329 AND DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO WHORE YOURSELVES OUT, HUH? 51 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:39,371 - I'M FINE WITH BEING A WHORE. 52 00:01:39,371 --> 00:01:41,333 - THAT'S THE NEXT THING ON THE AGENDA, CHERYL. 53 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,205 THIS YEAR, TRY TO KEEP THE DRUNKENNESS DOWN 54 00:01:43,205 --> 00:01:44,796 TO ABOUT A SIX, HUH? 55 00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:46,208 AND IF YOU DO HOOK UP WITH A VALET AGAIN, 56 00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:48,170 NOT IN PUBLIC. 57 00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:51,253 - IN MY DEFENSE, I THOUGHT HIS CAR WINDOWS 58 00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:52,674 WERE MORE TINTED THAN THEY WERE. 59 00:01:52,674 --> 00:01:54,176 - AND I ALSO NEED SOMEBODY TO DO 60 00:01:54,176 --> 00:01:57,098 THE OBLIGATORY THANK-YOU SPEECH ON OUR BEHALF. 61 00:01:57,098 --> 00:01:59,681 ANYBODY? ANY TAKERS? ANYONE? 62 00:01:59,681 --> 00:02:01,263 - I'LL DO IT. WHATEVER. 63 00:02:01,263 --> 00:02:03,225 - WELL, THIS ALL SOUNDS SUPER EXCITING, 64 00:02:03,225 --> 00:02:05,026 AND IT'S GONNA LITERALLY KILL ME TO MISS IT, 65 00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:06,188 BUT I WON'T BE THERE. 66 00:02:06,188 --> 00:02:09,231 - AND WHY NOT? - I HAVE A THING. 67 00:02:09,231 --> 00:02:11,193 - OF COURSE YOU DO. - OH, BOY, A THING? 68 00:02:11,193 --> 00:02:13,034 - WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, 69 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:15,407 I COACH A BASKETBALL TEAM OF AT-RISK KIDS, 70 00:02:15,407 --> 00:02:16,198 AND THAT'S THE NIGHT OF THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. 71 00:02:16,198 --> 00:02:18,700 - WHATEVER. I HATE KIDS. 72 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,203 LOOK, I WANT THE REST OF YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE THERE, 73 00:02:21,203 --> 00:02:23,375 AND MAKE SURE YOU THANK EVERYBODY FROM THE FOUNDATION 74 00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:26,047 FOR THAT GODDAMN COPIER THAT THEY GAVE US, OKAY? 75 00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:28,089 OKAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOUR HEADS RATTLING. 76 00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:31,253 - YES, YES, OKAY. 77 00:02:31,253 --> 00:02:34,095 WOW, YOU ARE GOOD. - GOOD AT WHAT? 78 00:02:34,095 --> 00:02:35,217 - WHAT IS IT REALLY? YOU CAN TELL ME. I GET IT. 79 00:02:35,217 --> 00:02:37,058 I MEAN, THIS THING SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. 80 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:38,430 - WHAT? NO, NO. 81 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:39,301 I LOVE HANGING AROUND WITH A BUNCH 82 00:02:39,301 --> 00:02:41,433 OF JAGBAG LAWYERS WATCHING THEM MINGLE 83 00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:42,644 AND GREASE EACH OTHER UP LIKE SEALS. 84 00:02:42,644 --> 00:02:44,306 - JAGBAGS, WHICH ARE-- 85 00:02:44,306 --> 00:02:45,647 - THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU COMBINE 86 00:02:45,647 --> 00:02:47,399 JAG-OFF CORPORATE LAWYERS 87 00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:49,441 AND DOUCHE BAG CORPORATE LAWYERS-- 88 00:02:49,441 --> 00:02:50,692 JAGBAG. 89 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:53,235 - HOW MANY JAGBAGS ARE GONNA BE THERE? 90 00:02:53,235 --> 00:02:55,407 - LET'S SEE. ALL OF THEM. 91 00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,319 - ALL--ALL OF THEM? - YEAH, EVERY FIRM. 92 00:02:57,319 --> 00:02:59,281 THEY SEND THEIR BEST JAGBAGS, 93 00:02:59,281 --> 00:03:00,742 AND IT'S LIKE A HARRY POTTER CONVENTION, 94 00:03:00,742 --> 00:03:02,454 EXCEPT INSTEAD OF NERDS IN ROBES, 95 00:03:02,454 --> 00:03:04,246 IT'S JAGBAGS IN SUITS. 96 00:03:04,246 --> 00:03:06,748 - WELL, I THINK THIS GIRL NEEDS TO GET HER 97 00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,420 POTTER WAND BROOM THINGY 98 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:12,133 AND GET READY TO FIGHT SOME WIZARD ZOMBIES IN GLASSES. 99 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:16,097 I'VE NEVER SEEN THE MOVIE. 100 00:03:16,097 --> 00:03:17,389 - SO NOW YOU WANT TO DO THE SPEECH? 101 00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:18,260 - SURE, I THINK I'D BE GOOD AT IT, 102 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:20,181 AND I GET THE VALUE OF SAYING THANKS 103 00:03:20,181 --> 00:03:22,264 TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HELP US, YOU KNOW, THE LITTLE PEOPLE. 104 00:03:22,264 --> 00:03:24,516 - BULLDICK, YOU JUST WANT TO SHOW OFF 105 00:03:24,516 --> 00:03:25,477 IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE, SO THAT YOU CAN WEASEL 106 00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:27,269 YOUR WAY BACK INTO MONEY LAW. 107 00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:28,440 - MAYBE. I HAVE NEEDS. 108 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,272 MY--MY SKIN HAS NEEDS, OKAY? 109 00:03:30,272 --> 00:03:32,153 I HAVE A VERY COMPLICATED T-ZONE, 110 00:03:32,153 --> 00:03:33,445 AND THERE ISN'T ANY ONE PRODUCT THAT CAN TAME IT. 111 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:35,317 LOOK, THESE ARE MY PEOPLE. 112 00:03:35,317 --> 00:03:38,990 I SPEAK FLUENT JAGBAG, ALL RIGHT? 113 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:40,282 SO JUST LET ME DO THIS. 114 00:03:40,282 --> 00:03:42,324 I'D BE--I'D BE-- - FINE, WHATEVER. 115 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:43,915 I REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT. 116 00:03:43,915 --> 00:03:45,287 JUST GO BACK TO DOING LAWYER THINGS, HUH? 117 00:03:45,287 --> 00:03:47,749 - YOU'RE NOT GONNA REGRET THIS. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 118 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,961 I--YEAH. 119 00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:55,136 OKAY, UH, WHISPERS. 120 00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:56,468 - HMM. - THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME. 121 00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:58,089 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE OFF ON PROBATION 122 00:03:58,089 --> 00:03:59,140 AND A FINE FOR SOLICITING. 123 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:01,142 - OH. - A LITTLE ADVICE. 124 00:04:01,142 --> 00:04:02,344 YOU SEEM LIKE A SMART GIRL. 125 00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,436 YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. 126 00:04:04,436 --> 00:04:05,727 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 127 00:04:05,727 --> 00:04:06,978 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO TAKE THAT STEP UP, 128 00:04:06,978 --> 00:04:09,441 EVEN THOUGH CHANGE CAN BE SO HARD. 129 00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:11,313 - OH, GOD, I HEAR YOU. 130 00:04:11,313 --> 00:04:12,354 YOU SHOULD SEE THIS HOVEL I MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE INTO. 131 00:04:12,354 --> 00:04:15,447 - HEY, NINA, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK. 132 00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:16,528 - OKAY. 133 00:04:16,528 --> 00:04:19,531 - HOW DO I GET A TRENT? 134 00:04:19,531 --> 00:04:20,742 - A WHAT? 135 00:04:20,742 --> 00:04:21,823 - A TRENT. 136 00:04:21,823 --> 00:04:24,956 HANDSOME, SUCCESSFUL. 137 00:04:24,956 --> 00:04:26,538 IT'S BEEN A RAGGED YEAR ON THE MAN FRONT, 138 00:04:26,538 --> 00:04:28,540 AND I USUALLY DON'T EVEN GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM 139 00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,911 UNTIL THE NEXT DAY, 140 00:04:29,911 --> 00:04:31,373 AND THEN BY THEN, YOU KNOW, 141 00:04:31,373 --> 00:04:33,335 TEETH IN THE GLASS, WIG ON THE FLOOR. 142 00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:34,416 - RIGHT. 143 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:36,798 - YOU GOT A TRENT. HOW DID YOU DO IT? 144 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,340 - YOU REALIZE HE DUMPED ME, RIGHT? 145 00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:40,762 - OKAY, BUT PRE-DUMPED NINA-- 146 00:04:40,762 --> 00:04:43,134 WHAT WOULD SHE HAVE DONE? 147 00:04:43,134 --> 00:04:44,476 THIS FUNDRAISER IS COMING UP, 148 00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,017 AND IT'S MY BEST CHANCE 149 00:04:46,017 --> 00:04:48,560 TO MEET A FANCY GUY LIKE THE KIND YOU USED TO GET. 150 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,191 - WELL, IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THAT HARD, CHERYL. 151 00:04:50,191 --> 00:04:52,484 YOU JUST--YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU WANT, 152 00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:54,356 WHETHER IT BE A JOB OR A GUY LIKE TRENT 153 00:04:54,356 --> 00:04:57,439 WHO WEARS A SUIT SO TAILORED 154 00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:59,280 IT MAKES YOU DERAIL EVERY SINGLE 155 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,242 ONE OF YOUR DREAMS... 156 00:05:01,242 --> 00:05:02,574 AND THEN YOU FOCUS. 157 00:05:02,574 --> 00:05:05,036 YOU FOCUS ON THAT VOICE INSIDE OF YOU THAT SAYS, 158 00:05:05,036 --> 00:05:06,448 "THAT'S MINE." 159 00:05:06,448 --> 00:05:08,410 AND NOTHING ELSE SHOULD MATTER. 160 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:11,543 - WHAT ABOUT THE VOICE THAT SAYS, "YOU DESERVE NOTHING"? 161 00:05:11,543 --> 00:05:14,165 - IS THAT A VOICE? - YOU DON'T HEAR IT? 162 00:05:14,165 --> 00:05:16,378 - NO. 163 00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:17,959 - THEY SAID NO. 164 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:19,801 - NO? WHAT DO YOU-- 165 00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:21,593 WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY SAID NO? 166 00:05:21,593 --> 00:05:22,514 - THEY DIDN'T APPROVE YOU TO GIVE THE SPEECH. 167 00:05:22,514 --> 00:05:23,465 - NOT APPROVING? 168 00:05:23,465 --> 00:05:25,226 "THEY"? WHO'S "THEY"? 169 00:05:25,226 --> 00:05:25,967 - THE HEAD OF THE EVENTS COMMITTEE, 170 00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:27,228 DEBBIE MATHERSONS. 171 00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:29,230 - FROM SCHUSTER ALEXANDER? 172 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:31,433 SHIT. DEBBIE--MY OLD FIRM. 173 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:33,565 - AH, NOW IT MAKES SENSE. 174 00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:35,607 AT FIRST I THOUGHT WHO THE HELL CARES 175 00:05:35,607 --> 00:05:36,818 ABOUT SOME DUMB SPEECH? 176 00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:38,480 DID YOU THINK THEY'D FORGET 177 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,241 YOUR COMPLETE MENTAL COLLAPSE IN THE LOBBY 178 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,283 AFTER SMASHING A MILLION-DOLLAR VASE FROM EDDIE RABBITT? 179 00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:44,446 - ELTON JOHN. EDDIE RABBITT? 180 00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:46,247 - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 181 00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:47,619 I LOVE THE RAINY NIGHT, YOU AND I, 182 00:05:47,619 --> 00:05:49,040 JUICE NEWTON-- DON'T YOU GET OUT? 183 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,992 - YEAH, BUT NOT A LOT SINCE 1970. 184 00:05:50,992 --> 00:05:53,044 LOOK, I'M BETTER NOW. 185 00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,626 CAN'T YOU CALL HER AND TELL HER THAT I'M A NEW PERSON? 186 00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:56,498 - YEAH. - YOU'RE NOT GONNA CALL HER. 187 00:05:56,498 --> 00:05:58,299 - NO. - BYE, BURT. 188 00:05:58,299 --> 00:05:59,921 - BYE, ANGRY LADY. 189 00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:01,633 - AND PLEASE, THANK DEBBIE AGAIN 190 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:03,304 FOR TAKING THIS MEETING. 191 00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:04,426 YEAH, I'LL DEF--I WILL DEFINITELY BE THERE. 192 00:06:04,426 --> 00:06:05,427 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 193 00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:06,638 OKAY, BYE. 194 00:06:06,638 --> 00:06:07,639 YES. 195 00:06:07,639 --> 00:06:11,272 - WOW. YOU WANT IT THAT BAD? 196 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,434 YOU WILL LITERALLY GROVEL TO THE WOMAN 197 00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:14,275 THAT GOT THE PROMOTION YOU DESERVED... 198 00:06:14,275 --> 00:06:15,647 - BY SLEEPING WITH THE BOSS. 199 00:06:15,647 --> 00:06:17,479 - AND THAT'S NOT DEEPLY HUMILIATING? 200 00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:18,440 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S DEEPLY HUMILIATING-- 201 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,652 IS HAVING A CLIENT PEE IN YOUR PURSE 202 00:06:20,652 --> 00:06:23,154 WHILE THE JUDGE LAUGHS AT YOUR BAIL REQUEST. 203 00:06:23,154 --> 00:06:24,486 I BELONG IN CORPORATE LAW... 204 00:06:24,486 --> 00:06:26,367 - OH. - AMONG NICE THINGS. 205 00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,620 NO, YOU DON'T GET UP ON YOUR MEDIUM HORSE, 206 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:31,663 MR. "I HAVE TO SKIP THE FUNDRAISER FOR A THING." 207 00:06:31,663 --> 00:06:33,455 QUICK, HOW MANY BOYS YOU COACH? 208 00:06:33,455 --> 00:06:35,086 - TRICK QUESTION. 209 00:06:35,086 --> 00:06:36,458 WE GOT A GIRL. SHE'S GOT THE BEST JUMP SHOT. 210 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,710 - OH, YEAH, WHAT'S HER NAME? - MELINDA. 211 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:43,254 - WHAT'S YOUR CENTER'S NAME? - MARNOLD ESTEFAN...EVEZ. 212 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:46,257 - SHAME ON YOU. 213 00:06:51,813 --> 00:06:53,264 OH, YOU'RE NEW. 214 00:06:53,264 --> 00:06:57,058 HI, NINA WHITLEY FOR DEBBIE MATHERSONS. 215 00:06:58,059 --> 00:06:59,320 - MISS MATHERSONS? 216 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,902 UH, MISS WHITLEY IS HERE TO SEE YOU. 217 00:07:00,902 --> 00:07:02,443 [clears throat] 218 00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:07,659 [overlapping chatter] 219 00:07:07,659 --> 00:07:09,951 [table clatters] 220 00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:19,130 - NINA. - HEY, DEBBIE. 221 00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:20,632 HOW YOU DOING? THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 222 00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:21,382 - THAT YOU BROKE A TABLE 223 00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:23,505 AND ALMOST ANOTHER EXPENSIVE VASE? 224 00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:26,177 - OH, OKAY, THEN IT IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 225 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,092 - OH, WOW. 226 00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:32,093 IT LOOKS MUCH BIGGER THAN IT DID ON MY VISION BOARD. 227 00:07:32,093 --> 00:07:33,685 - PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS. 228 00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:35,306 I'VE BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH MY DECORATOR. 229 00:07:35,306 --> 00:07:36,938 MY LIFE IS A SERIES OF CHENILLE SWATCHES. 230 00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,650 - MINE TOO. 231 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,732 WOW, IS THAT THE NEW HERMES? 232 00:07:40,732 --> 00:07:43,364 - IT IS. - CAN I TOUCH IT? 233 00:07:43,364 --> 00:07:45,066 - I WISH YOU WOULDN'T. - OKAY. 234 00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:46,407 YEAH, THAT WAS WEIRD. I SEE HOW THAT WAS WEIRD. 235 00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:49,370 LISTEN, DEBBIE, I JUST WANTED TO COME AND TELL YOU 236 00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:50,371 THAT I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT 237 00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:52,203 TO APPROVE ME FOR THE SPEECH. 238 00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:53,204 - LISTEN, NINA, YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 239 00:07:53,204 --> 00:07:54,495 - NO, I DO. 240 00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:55,537 I MEAN, AFTER THE WAY I ACTED, 241 00:07:55,537 --> 00:07:56,958 LOOK, I PROBABLY WOULD'VE TURNED ME DOWN TOO. 242 00:07:56,958 --> 00:07:59,170 I WAS IN A VERY STRESSFUL PLACE, 243 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:01,753 AND YOU--YOU WON THAT PARTNERSHIP 244 00:08:01,753 --> 00:08:02,964 FAIR AND SQUARE. 245 00:08:02,964 --> 00:08:05,126 - LISTEN, I KNOW YOU THINK I WAS SLEEPING WITH WINSTON. 246 00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:07,088 - WHAT? NO. 247 00:08:07,088 --> 00:08:08,179 IF I IMPLIED THAT, NO. 248 00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:10,181 - OH, HE WANTED TO, BIG TIME. 249 00:08:10,181 --> 00:08:13,094 HE TEXTED ME WORDS AND PICTURES TO THAT EFFECT, 250 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:14,976 SO I BLACKMAILED HIM. 251 00:08:14,976 --> 00:08:18,189 - LIKE, BLACKMAIL-BLACKMAIL? 252 00:08:18,189 --> 00:08:21,352 - LIKE BLACKMAIL. IT WORKS. 253 00:08:21,352 --> 00:08:22,564 WHATEVER IT TAKES, RIGHT? 254 00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:25,406 - YEAH. 255 00:08:25,406 --> 00:08:27,528 OH, GOD, DEBBIE, 256 00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:29,530 I WANT BACK IN SO BAD, I CAN TASTE IT IN MY MOUTH. 257 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:32,323 I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES, AND A LITTLE BIT DOWN THERE, 258 00:08:32,323 --> 00:08:33,785 OKAY, AND THIS SPEECH IS MY TICKET 259 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:36,157 TO ANY JOB WITH AN OFFICE AND A CHAIR 260 00:08:36,157 --> 00:08:37,959 WITH A LEVER THAT MAKES IT GO UP AND DOWN 261 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:41,713 AND MAKES THAT... [blowing air] NOISE. 262 00:08:41,713 --> 00:08:44,085 [sighs] AND IF YOU LET ME BACK IN THE GAME, 263 00:08:44,085 --> 00:08:46,337 YOU'VE GOT A LAWYER WHO OWES YOU A HUGE FAVOR. 264 00:08:46,337 --> 00:08:51,302 SO YOU DO ME A SOLID, DOWN THE ROAD--SISTERS. 265 00:08:51,302 --> 00:08:52,674 - I LIKE THAT. 266 00:08:52,674 --> 00:08:55,176 LIKE, WHEN ONE SISTER OWNS THE OTHER SISTER. 267 00:08:55,176 --> 00:08:58,059 - YEAH. 268 00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:01,893 I GOT THE SPEECH. 269 00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:04,275 I NAILED IT. I AM BACK. 270 00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:06,357 STILL GOT IT, BITCHES. 271 00:09:06,357 --> 00:09:07,568 - YOU ACTUALLY DID IT? - YUP. 272 00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:08,990 - I'M IMPRESSED WITH YOUR BALLS. 273 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:10,191 - WELL, IF YOU WERE COMING TO THE FUNDRAISER, 274 00:09:10,191 --> 00:09:11,863 YOU'D GET TO SEE THEM IN A DRESS 275 00:09:11,863 --> 00:09:13,494 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE ALL CLEAVAGE AND BALLS. 276 00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:15,456 - WAIT, WHY IS SHE GIVING THE SPEECH? 277 00:09:15,456 --> 00:09:17,789 - SHE BEGGED. - BUT I RAISED MY HAND. 278 00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,460 - YEAH, LISTLESSLY. 279 00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:21,202 I MEAN, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ACTUALLY INTERESTED. 280 00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:23,124 - HERE. 281 00:09:23,124 --> 00:09:25,206 FACT--BY THE YEAR 2045, 282 00:09:25,206 --> 00:09:28,259 OVER 90% OF AMERICAN BABIES WILL BE BORN IN PRISON. 283 00:09:28,259 --> 00:09:30,171 - WHAT THE HELL? THAT'S NOT A FACT. 284 00:09:30,171 --> 00:09:32,213 - IT'S MY OWN PROJECTIONS. IT'S A FIRST DRAFT. 285 00:09:32,213 --> 00:09:33,424 - YOU CAN'T INSULT THESE PEOPLE. 286 00:09:33,424 --> 00:09:35,346 - WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE? 287 00:09:35,346 --> 00:09:37,388 IT'S OUR NIGHT, THE PUBLIC DEFENDERS. 288 00:09:37,388 --> 00:09:38,269 WE GET TO SAY AND DO WHAT WE WANT. 289 00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:40,391 - HE ACTUALLY MAKES A GREAT POINT. 290 00:09:40,391 --> 00:09:42,023 - YOU GET FREE BOOZE. YOU'RE GETTING FREE SHRIMP. 291 00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:44,065 QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD. - THAT'S ALSO A GREAT POINT. 292 00:09:44,065 --> 00:09:47,438 - NINA IS DOING THE SPEECH, END OF STORY. 293 00:09:50,191 --> 00:09:52,403 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET'S GIVE A WARM WELCOME 294 00:09:52,403 --> 00:09:53,574 TO THE HARDEST WORKING P.D. IN-- 295 00:09:53,574 --> 00:09:54,906 - NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT WORKING ON CASES. 296 00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:56,447 I'M WORKING ON MY SPEECH. 297 00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:58,159 - OH, THE SPEECH THAT'S GONNA SAVE NINA WHITLEY 298 00:09:58,159 --> 00:10:00,451 FROM THE INDIGNITY OF LIVING IN A NORMAL-SIZED APARTMENT. 299 00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:03,204 ALMOST SAD I'M GONNA MISS IT. 300 00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:04,956 - OH, BUT OF COURSE, YOU'VE GOT 301 00:10:04,956 --> 00:10:09,380 THOSE LITTLE BOYS, MELINDA, AND MARNOLD ESTEFAN EVEZ 302 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,673 IN THEIR TATTERED UNIFORMS 303 00:10:11,673 --> 00:10:13,344 AND THEIR LITTLE TOES POKING OUT 304 00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,886 OF THEIR MISMATCHED SHOES. 305 00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:16,427 - NO, ACTUALLY, I GOT A BAIL BONDS PLACE 306 00:10:16,427 --> 00:10:17,889 TO SPONSOR SOME SWEET NEW UNIFORMS. 307 00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:19,180 - OKAY, YOU'RE JUST DOING BAD NEWS BEARSNOW. 308 00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:20,682 LET'S DROP IT. 309 00:10:20,682 --> 00:10:21,973 - OKAY, WELL, I JUST CAME TO GET MY BAG. 310 00:10:21,973 --> 00:10:23,604 GOOD LUCK WITH THE SPEECH. 311 00:10:23,604 --> 00:10:25,106 - WAIT, CAN I ASK YOU YOUR HONEST OPINION? 312 00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:26,317 - SURE. - OKAY. 313 00:10:26,317 --> 00:10:27,819 THIS IS FOR MY OPENING. 314 00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:30,692 I ALWAYS THOUGHT MY SUCCESS WOULD BE MEANINGFUL. 315 00:10:30,692 --> 00:10:33,194 WAS IT MEANINGFUL WHEN I GOT MY FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP 316 00:10:33,194 --> 00:10:35,116 OR WHEN I WAS PROFILED IN THE ONLINE VERSION 317 00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:38,870 OF NEW YOMAGAZINE'S 30 UNDER 30 POWER PLAYERS? 318 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:40,201 - ARE YOU GONNA MENTION THE PART WHERE 319 00:10:40,201 --> 00:10:41,202 YOU SOLD THE MOST GIRL SCOUT COOKIES? 320 00:10:41,202 --> 00:10:42,623 - I DID. 321 00:10:42,623 --> 00:10:44,085 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 322 00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:45,546 - IT'S A WILD GUESS. - GET THIS. 323 00:10:45,546 --> 00:10:47,338 I TRADED BRENDA CLINGER 324 00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:49,290 ALL MY SHORTBREADS FOR ALL OF HER SAMOAS. 325 00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:52,924 I MEAN, WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT? IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SAMOAS. 326 00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:54,135 SHE WAS SO SCREWED. 327 00:10:54,135 --> 00:10:56,297 OH, MY GOD, SHE CRIED, AND SHE CRIED, 328 00:10:56,297 --> 00:10:57,638 AND SHE CRIED, 329 00:10:57,638 --> 00:10:59,300 AND THEN SHE GOT HER PERIOD. 330 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:02,143 GOD, I LOVED THE GIRL SCOUTS. 331 00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:04,305 - YOU DO BELONG IN THAT WORLD. 332 00:11:04,305 --> 00:11:06,307 YOU DESERVE IT. 333 00:11:06,307 --> 00:11:07,308 - THANK YOU. 334 00:11:07,308 --> 00:11:08,519 - MM. 335 00:11:08,519 --> 00:11:10,571 - THAT'S SO SWEET. 336 00:11:10,571 --> 00:11:12,483 WAIT-- [stammers] 337 00:11:12,483 --> 00:11:13,775 THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT, RIGHT? 338 00:11:13,775 --> 00:11:16,778 - GOODNIGHT, WHITLEY. 339 00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:21,492 [upbeat music] 340 00:11:21,492 --> 00:11:26,748 - LOOK AT ALL THIS, LIKE PIGS TO A TROUGH. 341 00:11:26,748 --> 00:11:28,499 THESE PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING. 342 00:11:28,499 --> 00:11:29,751 - WHAT DO YOU CALL WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 343 00:11:29,751 --> 00:11:31,332 - I'M EATING CRAB CAKES. THEY'RE PERISHABLE. 344 00:11:31,332 --> 00:11:33,334 SO WE CAN'T GIVE THEM TO THE POOR PEOPLE. 345 00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:34,836 - THEY GOT CRAB CAKES? 346 00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:36,217 WHO DO YOU GOT TO BLOW AROUND HERE 347 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,338 TO GET A CRAB CAKE? 348 00:11:37,338 --> 00:11:39,180 - I THINK THAT'D BE ME. 349 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,551 - WHOA. 350 00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:42,343 - [gasps] 351 00:11:42,343 --> 00:11:44,265 NINA, YOU LOOK AMAZEBALLS. 352 00:11:44,265 --> 00:11:45,897 - THANK YOU, CHERYL. SO DO YOU. 353 00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:48,519 I LOVE THAT DRESS. IT'S VERY SOPHISTICATED. 354 00:11:48,519 --> 00:11:50,231 - [squeals] THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. 355 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,193 SPANX. 356 00:11:52,193 --> 00:11:54,065 [whispers] NO PANTIES. 357 00:11:54,065 --> 00:11:56,237 DAY-TO-NIGHT. 358 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:59,160 - LOOK AT YOU, NINA, JUST SO LOVELY. 359 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,954 YOU LOOK SO STURDY IN THAT GOWN. 360 00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:04,245 - THANK YOU. 361 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,246 - I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED WOMEN 362 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,038 WITH DIMINUTIVE BUST LINES 363 00:12:07,038 --> 00:12:08,039 WHO AREN'T AFRAID TO FEATURE THEIR SHOULDERS. 364 00:12:08,039 --> 00:12:09,290 - RIGHT. 365 00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:10,041 - THERE ARE PEOPLE YOU SHOULD MEET HERE. 366 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,373 ARE YOU READY TO WORK THE ROOM? 367 00:12:12,373 --> 00:12:13,504 - WORK THE ROO--YES. 368 00:12:13,504 --> 00:12:15,006 THANK YOU SO MUCH, DEBBIE. 369 00:12:15,006 --> 00:12:19,340 - OH, DON'T THANK ME, JUST OWE ME. 370 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,222 - THANKS FOR THE COPIER. 371 00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:22,974 - NINA WHITLEY, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET 372 00:12:22,974 --> 00:12:24,385 MARIA KEELY OF THE KEELY FOUNDATION. 373 00:12:24,385 --> 00:12:26,557 - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE FINALLY GETTING TO MEET. 374 00:12:26,557 --> 00:12:28,439 I HAVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. 375 00:12:28,439 --> 00:12:32,063 - OH, THAT HAS ALL BEEN SO WIDELY EXAGGERATED. 376 00:12:32,063 --> 00:12:34,025 IT WAS ACTUALLY A VERY SMALL VASE. 377 00:12:34,025 --> 00:12:35,276 IT SLIPPED RIGHT OUT OF MY HANDS. 378 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,068 - NOPE. NOPE. 379 00:12:37,068 --> 00:12:38,199 - BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 380 00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:39,861 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, MARIA. 381 00:12:39,861 --> 00:12:41,402 YOUR NAME'S ON THE ICE SCULPTURE BY THE SHRIMP, 382 00:12:41,402 --> 00:12:43,534 AND YOUR HAIR IS AMAZING. 383 00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:46,077 IT'S SO SHINY, AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE AIRBRUSHED. 384 00:12:46,077 --> 00:12:47,748 IS THAT A WEIRD THING TO SAY TO SOMEBODY? 385 00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:49,500 - ONLY IF YOU SAY IT OUT LOUD. 386 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,912 [laughter] 387 00:12:50,912 --> 00:12:53,084 ISN'T SHE HILARIOUS? I FIND HER FUN. 388 00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:54,625 - YEAH. - YEAH. 389 00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:56,297 - WELL, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR SPEECH, NINA? 390 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,299 - GREAT. - CONGRESSWOMAN PHELPS. 391 00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,420 EXCUSE ME, LADIES. - OH, YES, YES. 392 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,092 - OFF YOU GO. 393 00:13:01,092 --> 00:13:02,884 THANK YOU SO MUCH, DEBBIE. 394 00:13:02,884 --> 00:13:04,305 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 395 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,476 - DO NOT SCREW UP THAT SPEECH, HMM? 396 00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:08,639 - UH-HUH. 397 00:13:11,642 --> 00:13:13,234 - HEY, THERE. - OH. 398 00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:15,566 - HOW YOU DOING TONIGHT? - OH, I'M BETTER NOW. 399 00:13:15,566 --> 00:13:17,068 [laughs] 400 00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,940 I'M CHERYL. 401 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:22,033 AND YOU ARE? - RICH. 402 00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:27,038 - WELL, OF COURSE YOU ARE. 403 00:13:27,038 --> 00:13:30,711 - I THOUGHT SUCCESS-- NO, I THOUGHT REAL SUCCESS. 404 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:32,333 [exhales] OKAY, FOCUS. 405 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:37,298 FOCUS. JUST FOCUS. 406 00:13:37,298 --> 00:13:41,092 - [whistles] - I THOUGHT-- 407 00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:43,264 OH, MY GOD, THERE WAS NO GAME. 408 00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,016 YOU CAME HERE FOR ME. 409 00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,098 [singsong] YOU LIKE ME. 410 00:13:47,098 --> 00:13:48,599 - OH, THERE WAS A GAME. - OKAY. 411 00:13:48,599 --> 00:13:50,021 - IT ENDED EARLY. 412 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:51,272 YOU GO UP BY 20, THEY CALL IT. 413 00:13:51,272 --> 00:13:52,733 - OKAY, SO A HALF HOUR AGO, 414 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,734 YOU WERE ALL SWEATY IN YOUR TUBE SOCKS 415 00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:55,106 AND YOUR OLD WHISTLE THINGY, 416 00:13:55,106 --> 00:13:56,397 AND NOW, YOU'RE HERE WITH THE HAIR 417 00:13:56,397 --> 00:14:00,191 AND THE WOODSY SPICE SMELL 418 00:14:00,191 --> 00:14:02,483 AND JAWLINE-Y THING, 419 00:14:02,483 --> 00:14:05,326 AND...RIGHT. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, OKAY. 420 00:14:05,326 --> 00:14:07,698 - LOOK AT YOU, DOING GOOD. SCHMOOZING, HUH? 421 00:14:07,698 --> 00:14:09,330 - OH, YOU SAW THAT? 422 00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:11,412 YEAH, THAT WAS MARIA KEELY OF THE KEELY FOUNDATION. 423 00:14:11,412 --> 00:14:12,954 SHE LOVED ME. SHE KNOWS EVERYONE. 424 00:14:12,954 --> 00:14:15,706 PHIL, IF I NAIL THIS SPEECH, I AM SO BACK IN. 425 00:14:15,706 --> 00:14:18,299 I MEAN, I'M GONNA BE UNSTOPPABLE. 426 00:14:18,299 --> 00:14:19,300 TRENT. 427 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,712 - NINA, HI. 428 00:14:21,712 --> 00:14:22,924 - HEY. 429 00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:26,347 - WOW, YOU LOOK AMAZING. - OH. 430 00:14:26,347 --> 00:14:27,969 - PHIL, YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD. 431 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,680 - OH, THANK YOU. I LOOK BETTER THAN HER THOUGH, 432 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,601 RIGHT? - I DON'T KNOW. 433 00:14:30,601 --> 00:14:32,353 IT'S CLOSE. 434 00:14:32,353 --> 00:14:35,146 - WHY ARE YOU HERE? THIS IS A PUBLIC DEFENDER THING. 435 00:14:35,146 --> 00:14:37,608 - NO, RELAX. I'M JUST HERE AS A PLUS ONE. 436 00:14:37,608 --> 00:14:40,021 - PLUS ONE? LIKE, PLUS ONE WHAT? 437 00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,193 - HEY, PEANUT BUTTER PIE. - HEY. 438 00:14:42,193 --> 00:14:44,365 OH, YOU MADE IT. - YEAH. 439 00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:46,447 NINA, THIS IS MARIA. 440 00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:47,658 - OH, WE MET. 441 00:14:47,658 --> 00:14:51,082 - MARIA, MARIA. 442 00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:52,703 YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOT TO GO SEE 443 00:14:52,703 --> 00:14:56,417 A MAN ABOUT A--SOMETHING'S BURNING, SO... 444 00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,839 - SHE OKAY? 445 00:14:58,839 --> 00:15:00,461 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK SHE JUST WENT 446 00:15:00,461 --> 00:15:02,843 INTO THE MEN'S BATHROOM. - OH, MY BAD! 447 00:15:02,843 --> 00:15:04,215 - OH, THERE SHE IS. SHE FIGURED IT OUT. 448 00:15:07,048 --> 00:15:08,549 - TRENT'S FIANCEE IS MARIA. 449 00:15:08,549 --> 00:15:11,852 RICH, PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, RICH MARIA. 450 00:15:11,852 --> 00:15:13,474 - YOU SAID "RICH" TWICE. - YEAH. 451 00:15:13,474 --> 00:15:14,976 AND APPARENTLY, I JUST WALKED INTO A MEN'S ROOM, 452 00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:16,978 AND SAW A DOZEN OLD-MAN PENISES. 453 00:15:16,978 --> 00:15:19,820 - YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT THAT WAS TRENT'S FIANCEE? 454 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,822 - I TOOK GREAT PAINS TO NOT KNOW 455 00:15:21,822 --> 00:15:23,484 BECAUSE I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, 456 00:15:23,484 --> 00:15:26,487 AND NOW IT'S HAPPENING AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME. 457 00:15:26,487 --> 00:15:28,569 I MEAN, THE WOMAN HAS NO PORES, OKAY? 458 00:15:28,569 --> 00:15:32,994 AND THIS MORNING, I HAD AN EAR ZIT. 459 00:15:32,994 --> 00:15:35,456 - THERE'S A CERTAIN IRONY THAT I'M THE ONE DOING THIS, 460 00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,837 BUT HERE GOES. 461 00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,579 IT'S LIKE I TELL MY TEAM OF BOYS. 462 00:15:38,579 --> 00:15:39,580 - OH, MY GOD, I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONE GIRL. 463 00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:41,132 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 464 00:15:41,132 --> 00:15:43,044 YOU GOT TO GET YOURSELF IN A WINNING HEAD SPACE. 465 00:15:43,044 --> 00:15:44,795 YOU KEEP FOCUSED. 466 00:15:44,795 --> 00:15:46,177 YOU KEEP IT TOGETHER, AND YOU MAKE THAT SPEECH. 467 00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:48,259 - ALL RIGHT, CAN WE NOT USE 468 00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:49,090 YOUR FICTIONAL ORPHAN CHILDREN AS AN EXAMPLE? 469 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:51,892 - OKAY, HOW ABOUT WE TRY THIS ONE? 470 00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:54,515 YOU'RE PREPARED. HMM? 471 00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,018 YOU ARE SMARTER THAN TEN MARIAS PUT TOGETHER. 472 00:15:57,018 --> 00:15:59,230 - YEAH. 473 00:15:59,230 --> 00:16:00,691 [exhales] 474 00:16:00,691 --> 00:16:03,864 I MEAN, SHE DIDN'T SEEM THAT SMART, DID SHE? 475 00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:05,106 - PSHH. - YEAH, NO, I GOT THIS. 476 00:16:05,106 --> 00:16:07,608 I CAN DO THIS. 477 00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:09,950 [applause] 478 00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,872 - GOOD EVENING. 479 00:16:11,872 --> 00:16:13,614 FIRST, I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYBODY 480 00:16:13,614 --> 00:16:15,876 WHO HELPED OUT WITH THIS WONDERFUL EVENT TONIGHT. 481 00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:19,250 A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY FIANCE TRENT. 482 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:22,923 IT WAS ONLY LAST SPRING WE MET AT THE COLON CANCER ART WALK, 483 00:16:22,923 --> 00:16:26,257 BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW I SURVIVED WITHOUT YOU, 484 00:16:26,257 --> 00:16:28,509 BUT WE ARE HERE TO RAISE MONEY 485 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:31,052 FOR OUR BRAVE LOS ANGELES COUNTY PUBLIC DEFENDERS. 486 00:16:31,052 --> 00:16:33,514 SO IF YOU WOULD JOIN ME IN WELCOMING 487 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:37,478 ONE OF IT'S NEWEST SHINING STARS, NINA WHITLEY. 488 00:16:37,478 --> 00:16:42,483 [applause] 489 00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:45,486 - THANK YOU, MARIA, FOR A LOVELY INTRODUCTION. 490 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:54,245 WAS IT MEANINGFUL WHEN I GOT MY FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP? 491 00:16:54,245 --> 00:16:57,288 YES, BUT NONE OF THAT COMPARES 492 00:16:57,288 --> 00:16:59,540 TO THE WORK I DO HERE 493 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:03,544 DAY IN AND DAY, UM-- 494 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,965 THE COLON WALK? 495 00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:06,587 HUH. 496 00:17:06,587 --> 00:17:09,130 ANYWAY, I WAS PROFILED IN THE-- 497 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:11,172 I'M JUST-- I'M DOING THE MATH. 498 00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:15,516 AND WE WERE STILL TOGE-- 499 00:17:17,598 --> 00:17:20,271 NEVERMIND. 500 00:17:20,271 --> 00:17:22,813 OKAY, I SWEAR-- I SWEAR I REHEARSED THIS. 501 00:17:22,813 --> 00:17:23,894 I DID. 502 00:17:23,894 --> 00:17:26,317 OKAY. 503 00:17:26,317 --> 00:17:28,689 IT WAS VERY MEANINGFUL 504 00:17:28,689 --> 00:17:31,152 WHEN I GOT MY FUL-BRAT SCHOLAR-SHIMP-- 505 00:17:31,152 --> 00:17:33,154 OOH, MY WHAT? 506 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,116 [laughs] MY WHAT? 507 00:17:35,116 --> 00:17:38,289 FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR-SHIMP. 508 00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:40,291 SHIP. SHIMP. 509 00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:44,335 SHIP. SHIT. SHITS-MAN-SHIP. 510 00:17:44,335 --> 00:17:45,626 OH, WOW. 511 00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:47,918 THIS IS--THIS IS NOT GOING MY WAY, IS IT? 512 00:17:47,918 --> 00:17:49,710 [laughs] NO. 513 00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:51,172 [exhales] 514 00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:53,174 YOU KNOW, I REALLY THOUGHT THAT IF I, 515 00:17:53,174 --> 00:17:54,715 YOU KNOW, DAZZLED YOU TONIGHT WITH THIS SPEECH, 516 00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,177 THAT YOU'D LET ME BACK INTO MONEY LAW, 517 00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:58,309 BUT WELL, THAT WAS A STUPID PLAN, RIGHT? 518 00:17:58,309 --> 00:17:59,310 I MEAN, THAT WAS RIDICULOUS. 519 00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:01,602 THAT WAS A RIDICULOUS PLAN. 520 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:02,223 - WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING? - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 521 00:18:02,223 --> 00:18:03,984 SHE'S DOING TERRIFIC. 522 00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:05,065 - I MEAN, I DO. I WANT THE MONEY. 523 00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:06,147 I WANT THE MONEY PART OF IT 524 00:18:06,147 --> 00:18:07,148 BECAUSE THAT NEW HERMES BAG, 525 00:18:07,148 --> 00:18:08,939 I WANT TO CRADLE IT TO MY BOSOM, 526 00:18:08,939 --> 00:18:10,361 AND I WANT TO SING IT SWEET LULLABIES ALL NIGHT, 527 00:18:10,361 --> 00:18:11,942 BUT I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THAT 528 00:18:11,942 --> 00:18:17,368 BECAUSE I HAVE CLEARLY SCREWED THE POOCH HERE, AGAIN. 529 00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:18,999 I GUESS I HAVEN'T REALLY LEARNED ANYTHING. 530 00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:21,041 EXCEPT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I HAVE LEARNED ONE THING. 531 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:24,044 I'VE LEARNED THAT BEING POOR IS A CRIME, 532 00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:25,336 'CAUSE THAT'S WHO I DEFEND NOW. 533 00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:28,379 THE MEXICAN KID THAT EXPERIMENTS WITH DRUGS 534 00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:30,010 AND THEN GETS DEPORTED. 535 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,172 BUT WHEN YOUR KID EXPERIMENTS WITH DRUGS, 536 00:18:31,172 --> 00:18:33,093 THAT'S CALLED COLLEGE. 537 00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:35,216 NOW I'M UP HERE BEGGING YOU FOR MONEY 538 00:18:35,216 --> 00:18:37,178 BECAUSE THEY SLASHED OUR BUDGET AGAIN. 539 00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:39,260 NOW, I'M--YOU BACK OFF, DREAM CRUSHER. 540 00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:42,223 I AM NOT A JAGBAG. 541 00:18:42,223 --> 00:18:44,265 I AM A PUBLIC DEFENDER. 542 00:18:44,265 --> 00:18:45,356 [gags] OH. MM. 543 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:47,268 OH, WOW. 544 00:18:47,268 --> 00:18:52,233 I'VE NEVER--I'VE NEVER SAID THAT OUT LOUD. 545 00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:53,194 [exhales] 546 00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:55,196 ALL RIGHT, SO PLAY THE MUSIC. 547 00:18:55,196 --> 00:18:56,777 HIT IT. PLAY ME OFF. 548 00:18:56,777 --> 00:18:58,409 [phone chimes] 549 00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:01,121 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. 550 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,374 OH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT, THANK YOU SO MUCH 551 00:19:03,374 --> 00:19:05,286 FOR THE OUTDATED COPIER. 552 00:19:05,286 --> 00:19:09,250 WE LOVE UNJAMMING THAT PIECE OF CRAP EVERY FIVE SECONDS. 553 00:19:13,714 --> 00:19:16,056 [applause] 554 00:19:21,262 --> 00:19:22,803 - I GOT TO SAY, I LIKE THAT SPEECH 555 00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:25,306 A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN THE ONE YOU REHEARSED. 556 00:19:25,306 --> 00:19:26,727 - THANK YOU. 557 00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:28,148 THAT'S VERY SWEET. 558 00:19:28,148 --> 00:19:29,149 AND THANK YOU FOR THE DRINK. 559 00:19:29,149 --> 00:19:30,271 BOY, I NEED THAT. 560 00:19:30,271 --> 00:19:31,442 - NO, THESE ARE BOTH FOR ME. 561 00:19:31,442 --> 00:19:35,155 - OH. THANK YOU. 562 00:19:35,155 --> 00:19:37,408 - NINA, I HAVE TO THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING 563 00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:38,739 YOU SAID UP THERE. 564 00:19:38,739 --> 00:19:40,241 - YOU DO NOT HAVE TO THANK ME. 565 00:19:40,241 --> 00:19:42,243 - OH, BUT I DO. 566 00:19:42,243 --> 00:19:43,324 IT LOOKS LIKE I'M A LOCK FOR NEXT YEAR'S SPEECH. 567 00:19:43,324 --> 00:19:45,035 [laughs] - OKAY, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 568 00:19:45,035 --> 00:19:46,377 - HOW'D THE SPEECH GO? 569 00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:50,421 - OH, NOT SO GREAT. - AW. 570 00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:52,463 - BUT HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 571 00:19:52,463 --> 00:19:55,135 I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH MR. RICH CHIVALROUS LAWYER. 572 00:19:55,135 --> 00:19:58,299 - HE'S A WAITER. 573 00:19:58,299 --> 00:19:59,970 HIS NAME IS RICH, AND HE KEPT SAYING, 574 00:19:59,970 --> 00:20:01,302 "OH, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER?" 575 00:20:01,302 --> 00:20:03,053 AND I THOUGHT HE WAS TRYING TO LOOSEN ME UP, 576 00:20:03,053 --> 00:20:05,476 BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT HE WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB. 577 00:20:05,476 --> 00:20:07,728 YEAH. - YEAH. YEAH. 578 00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:08,849 - YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'LL GET HIM NEXT TIME, CHERYL. 579 00:20:08,849 --> 00:20:09,940 - WILL SHE? - OKAY. 580 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:12,273 - YES, SHE WILL. 581 00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:15,776 YOU KNOW, IF MY SPEECH HAD GONE A LITTLE BIT BETTER, 582 00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:18,779 YOU GUYS MIGHT'VE LOST ME. 583 00:20:18,779 --> 00:20:22,323 IT WAS SO CLOSE. YOU WOULD'VE BEEN SAD. 584 00:20:22,323 --> 00:20:25,075 - I DON'T KNOW THAT IT WAS EVER THAT CLOSE. 585 00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:35,376 - [sighs] 586 00:20:35,376 --> 00:20:37,087 [knock on door] 587 00:20:37,087 --> 00:20:38,549 - HEY, KID. 588 00:20:38,549 --> 00:20:40,511 LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT. 589 00:20:40,511 --> 00:20:43,344 - WHA--I LOVE IT. 590 00:20:43,344 --> 00:20:44,385 THANK YOU. 591 00:20:44,385 --> 00:20:45,806 - IT'S ACTUALLY MINE, 592 00:20:45,806 --> 00:20:47,348 SO I'M GONNA NEED THAT BACK AT SOME POINT. 593 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:48,689 - THAT MAKES MORE SENSE. 594 00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:50,190 - MAN, THIS PLACE REALLY IS TINY. 595 00:20:50,190 --> 00:20:52,483 - OKAY. 596 00:20:52,483 --> 00:20:54,104 - THERE YOU ARE. GOOD. A LITTLE HUSTLE. 597 00:20:54,104 --> 00:20:56,357 MELINDA, CHOP CHOP. DIEGO. 598 00:20:56,357 --> 00:20:59,610 UP, MARNOLD, NINA. 599 00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:02,162 NINA, MARNOLD. 600 00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:04,665 GO HELP. 601 00:21:04,665 --> 00:21:07,167 I BET YOU FEEL LIKE A GIANT ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW. 602 00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:08,499 - OH, PLEASE, YOU COULD'VE GOT THOSE KIDS 603 00:21:08,499 --> 00:21:11,251 FROM ANYWHERE FOR REAL CHEAP, ESPECIALLY MARNOLD. 604 00:21:11,251 --> 00:21:12,673 HE LOOKS A LITTLE SICKLY. 605 00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,214 - SERIOUSLY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 606 00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,876 - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 607 00:21:15,876 --> 00:21:16,547 I'M BROKEN. 608 00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:18,379 [both laugh]