1 00:00:02,064 --> 00:00:04,066 - MORNING, MA'AM. 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,152 - HI. 3 00:00:10,152 --> 00:00:11,453 I AM NINA WHITLEY, AND YOU MUST BE YOLANDA HERNAN-- 4 00:00:11,453 --> 00:00:13,865 - EVERYBODY CALL ME "BABY JONES." 5 00:00:13,865 --> 00:00:15,157 - OKAY. 6 00:00:15,157 --> 00:00:16,748 WOW. 7 00:00:16,748 --> 00:00:19,871 IT, UM, DOES NOT SMELL GREAT IN HERE. 8 00:00:19,871 --> 00:00:22,164 ANYWAY, SO YOU ARE CHARGED WITH POSSESSION 9 00:00:22,164 --> 00:00:23,505 OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE. 10 00:00:23,505 --> 00:00:25,257 THEY FOUND TWO OUNCES OF COCAINE IN YOUR BRA. 11 00:00:25,257 --> 00:00:27,299 IS THAT--IS THAT CORR-- 12 00:00:27,299 --> 00:00:28,590 OH, MY GOD. 13 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,172 IT'S SO STICKY. 14 00:00:30,172 --> 00:00:32,384 UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 15 00:00:32,384 --> 00:00:34,806 I DON'T NEED TO SIT DOWN. I DON'T NEED TO SIT DOWN. 16 00:00:34,806 --> 00:00:35,807 I CAN MAKE THIS QUICK. 17 00:00:35,807 --> 00:00:37,939 UM...UH... 18 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:39,311 I CAN GET THE D.A. TO DROP ALL THE CHARGES 19 00:00:39,311 --> 00:00:40,392 IF YOU COOPERATE, ALL RIGHT? 20 00:00:40,392 --> 00:00:42,023 SO TRADE SOME INFORMATION. 21 00:00:42,023 --> 00:00:43,525 WHO'S YOUR DEALER? OTHER BUYERS? 22 00:00:43,525 --> 00:00:45,737 AND OH, MY GOD! THAT SMELL. 23 00:00:45,737 --> 00:00:47,028 - I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT. 24 00:00:47,028 --> 00:00:48,360 - I CAN'T GET PAST IT. 25 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,991 I CAN'T GET PAST IT. 26 00:00:49,991 --> 00:00:52,494 SO I AM JUST GONNA GO AHEAD, 27 00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:54,826 WE'LL CALL THE D.A., AND WE'LL MAKE THAT DEAL. 28 00:00:54,826 --> 00:00:56,158 - UH-UH. I AIN'T DOING THAT. 29 00:00:56,158 --> 00:00:57,789 - OKAY. - I'M NOT TAKING NO DEAL. 30 00:00:57,789 --> 00:01:00,122 - SOUNDS GOOD. - I'M NOT TAKING NO DEAL! 31 00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:06,918 - I NEED YOUR HAND SANITIZER STAT. 32 00:01:06,918 --> 00:01:08,970 OKAY, THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR "NOW." 33 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:09,971 - BAD DATE LAST NIGHT? - NO. 34 00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,763 I SPENT A DELIGHTFUL MORNING 35 00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:13,305 IN THE INTERVIEW ROOM OF A JAIL. 36 00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:14,596 HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY. 37 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,598 A RAT THROWING UP FROM THE SMELL. 38 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:20,812 SO JUST TO RECAP, A RAT, THAT LIVES IN SQUALOR, 39 00:01:20,812 --> 00:01:22,224 IS THROWING UP FROM THE SMELL. 40 00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:24,146 - THE SMELL, OH, YEAH. - YEAH, OH, YOU GOT IT! 41 00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:25,777 [shudders] 42 00:01:25,777 --> 00:01:27,609 - YOU'RE THROWING THAT OUT? - YEAH, I HAVE TO. 43 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,151 IT'S TOUCHED TABLE GOO. 44 00:01:29,151 --> 00:01:32,404 - FYI, CARLOS, "GOO" IS A BIG WORD FOR "ICKY STUFF." 45 00:01:32,404 --> 00:01:35,237 - IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ME? I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. 46 00:01:35,237 --> 00:01:36,618 - "HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY. 47 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,040 GOO ON A TABLE." - [chuckles] 48 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,623 - TO RECAP, EVERYONE, A TABLE WITH "GOO" ON IT. 49 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,165 - BURN NOTICE. 50 00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:44,586 - NO, I DON'T SAY "GOO" THAT WAY. 51 00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:46,087 - CARLOS, ONE. 52 00:01:46,087 --> 00:01:48,960 NINA, NOTHING. 53 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,961 [groovy rock music] 54 00:01:49,961 --> 00:01:51,092 - ♪ HEY NOW 55 00:01:51,092 --> 00:01:53,675 ♪ 56 00:01:53,675 --> 00:01:55,467 ♪ HEY NOW 57 00:01:57,809 --> 00:01:59,100 - OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. 58 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,642 NO, NOT TODAY, NOT TODAY. 59 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,394 COME ON, COME ON. DO SOMETHING. 60 00:02:02,394 --> 00:02:04,686 - COMPUTER FROZEN AGAIN, HUH? YOU TRIED RESTARTING IT? 61 00:02:04,686 --> 00:02:06,648 - HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING LESS LIKE AN ASS WEASEL, 62 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,190 YOU ASS WEASEL? 63 00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:12,484 - ARE YOU REALLY THIS UPSET ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER? 64 00:02:12,484 --> 00:02:13,615 YOUR ANNIVERSARY, HUH? 65 00:02:13,615 --> 00:02:15,277 OH, THAT'S TOUGH. 66 00:02:15,277 --> 00:02:17,449 YOU AND ROSA WERE TOGETHER, WHAT, 30, 40 YEARS? 67 00:02:17,449 --> 00:02:20,492 - 11. WAIT, 30, 40? 68 00:02:20,492 --> 00:02:22,664 HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM? - I DON'T KNOW. 69 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:25,046 YOU DON'T LOOK 60, BUT YOU COULD PASS FOR 60. 70 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,088 - PASS FOR 60? 71 00:02:27,088 --> 00:02:28,460 - I'M KIDDING. I'M MESSING WITH YOU. 72 00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:30,051 YOU GOT TO RELAX HERE, OKAY? 73 00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:31,383 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? 74 00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:33,094 YOU NEED A NIGHT OUT, 75 00:02:33,094 --> 00:02:34,095 A NIGHT TO JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING. 76 00:02:34,095 --> 00:02:35,677 AN ANTI-VERSARY. 77 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,679 - I'M GONNA GO HOME, OPEN UP A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, 78 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,891 WRITE ROSA A LONG EMAIL, POUR THE SCOTCH ON THE COMPUTER, 79 00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:41,142 AND LIGHT THAT ON FIRE. 80 00:02:41,142 --> 00:02:42,854 - NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU NEED DISTRACTIONS TONIGHT. 81 00:02:42,854 --> 00:02:44,306 TRUST ME. 82 00:02:44,306 --> 00:02:45,897 I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, OKAY? 83 00:02:45,897 --> 00:02:47,269 WHO BETTER AT ESCAPING THEIR PROBLEMS THAN ME? 84 00:02:47,269 --> 00:02:50,021 OKAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY? LET ME TAKE YOU OUT. 85 00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:52,023 WE'LL GO, WE'LL RAGE OUR FACES COMPLETELY OFF. 86 00:02:52,023 --> 00:02:54,236 DENNIS, YOU IN? - NO. 87 00:02:54,236 --> 00:02:56,868 - LARRY, DRINKS? - IN MY GYM BAG. 88 00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:58,490 HELP YOURSELF. 89 00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:02,324 - NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT GOING OUT TONIGHT AND RAGING, 90 00:03:02,324 --> 00:03:03,245 LETTING LOOSE, RAGING OUR FACES OFF. 91 00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:04,626 - IT'S KINDA LAST MINUTE. 92 00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:07,249 LET ME CHECK MY--I'M FREE. 93 00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:08,630 - SEE, HE'S IN, EVERYONE'S IN. 94 00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,131 LET'S DO THIS. 95 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,093 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. 96 00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:14,466 I'LL LIGHT MY COMPUTER ON FIRE SOME OTHER NIGHT. 97 00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:15,507 - THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 98 00:03:15,507 --> 00:03:17,549 - YOU SEEM HAPPY. 99 00:03:17,549 --> 00:03:20,932 TEST RESULTS COME BACK NEGATIVE? - NO. 100 00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:22,474 WE ARE GOING OUT FOR A NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY SO EPIC 101 00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:24,516 THAT CARLOS IS GONNA FORGET ABOUT HIS FIRST ANNIVERSARY 102 00:03:24,516 --> 00:03:27,148 APART FROM ROSA. 103 00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:29,110 IT'S GONNA BE A LOT MORE FUN THAN I JUST MADE IT SOUND. 104 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,061 EVEN BORING LARRY'S IN. 105 00:03:30,061 --> 00:03:32,153 - WOW. - YOU SHOULD COME. 106 00:03:32,153 --> 00:03:33,695 - I SO WOULD, BUT I HAVE PLANS. 107 00:03:33,695 --> 00:03:36,157 - AH, MUST BE PRETTY IMPORTANT PLANS THAT YOU 108 00:03:36,157 --> 00:03:38,780 CAN'T RESCHEDULE TO RALLY AROUND A BELOVED COLLEAGUE. 109 00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:40,742 - OKAY, IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE A SPA APPOINTMENT 110 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,364 AT THE FOUR SEASONS. 111 00:03:42,364 --> 00:03:44,075 I WOULD TOTALLY CANCEL, BUT IT'S A GIFT CERTIFICATE, 112 00:03:44,075 --> 00:03:45,957 AND IT EXPIRES TONIGHT. 113 00:03:45,957 --> 00:03:47,749 - OH, I GET IT. - YOU GET IT. 114 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,751 - I DO. NOW, I FORGET. 115 00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,002 DO EUNUCHS MASSAGE YOU IN TRUFFLE OIL 116 00:03:51,002 --> 00:03:53,465 BEFORE OR AFTER THEY GIVE YOU A MONEY BATH? 117 00:03:53,465 --> 00:03:55,467 - HA, HA, HA. THERE'S NO MONEY BATH, 118 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,969 BUT THEY DO WRAP YOU IN THIS WARM MUD 119 00:03:57,969 --> 00:03:59,381 AND THEN THESE HOT BLANKETS. 120 00:03:59,381 --> 00:04:00,762 IT'S LIKE A-- IT'S LIKE A SOFT TACO. 121 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,344 IT'S KINDA NEXT LEVEL. 122 00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,185 - WELL, ANOTHER TIME THEN, YOU KNOW, 123 00:04:04,185 --> 00:04:06,558 WHEN YOU'RE NOT BUSY GETTING MUD IN YOUR TACO. 124 00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:08,019 - WOW, I SET YOU RIGHT UP FOR THAT. 125 00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:14,235 YOUR HONOR, MY CLIENT WOULD LIKE TO PLEAD GUILTY 126 00:04:14,235 --> 00:04:15,987 AND OFFER TESTIMONY IN EXCHANGE FOR PROBATION. 127 00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:18,239 - NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT. 128 00:04:18,239 --> 00:04:20,201 LOOK, I'M NOT RATTING OUT NOBODY. 129 00:04:20,201 --> 00:04:21,403 - WE TALKED ABOUT THIS, AND I TOLD YOU THIS IS 130 00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:22,824 THE BEST DEAL YOU'RE GONNA GET. 131 00:04:22,824 --> 00:04:24,205 - MAYBE IT'S THE BEST DEAL YOU COULD GET, 132 00:04:24,205 --> 00:04:25,497 BUT NOT THE BEST DEAL I COULD GET. 133 00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:27,208 - YOU WERE CAUGHT WITH COKE IN YOUR BRA, 134 00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:29,581 SO I SUGGEST YOU TESTIFY AND STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY. 135 00:04:29,581 --> 00:04:30,752 - GET OFF ME. - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 136 00:04:30,752 --> 00:04:31,963 - WHOA! WHOA! 137 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:34,175 - WAIT, WAIT. 138 00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:36,217 WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 139 00:04:36,217 --> 00:04:38,590 LOOK, SHE JUST TRIPPED OVER HER STUPID STRIPPER HEELS. 140 00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:40,181 - YOU ASSAULTED YOUR ATTORNEY. 141 00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:41,423 IF YOU'RE GONNA COMMIT ANOTHER FELONY, 142 00:04:41,423 --> 00:04:43,425 TRY NOT TO DO IT IN THE ACTUAL COURTROOM. 143 00:04:43,425 --> 00:04:44,806 - GREAT, A SCUFFMARK. 144 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,017 [scoffs] SUPER. 145 00:04:46,017 --> 00:04:47,018 - MY CONDOLENCES. 146 00:04:47,018 --> 00:04:48,850 LET ME KNOW WHERE TO SEND FLOWERS. 147 00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:55,987 - HEY, HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? DID YOU HAVE A NICE FALL? 148 00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:57,609 I HEAR THE FLOOR IS BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR. 149 00:04:57,609 --> 00:04:59,991 - OKAY, SO YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE PART 150 00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:02,153 WHERE SHE THREW A GIANT CONNIPTION FIT. 151 00:05:02,153 --> 00:05:03,034 - WELL, YEAH, YOU WOULD TOO IF YOU HAD TO SPEND 152 00:05:03,034 --> 00:05:04,035 A NIGHT IN JAIL. 153 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,037 - OH, PLEASE, ONE NIGHT. 154 00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:09,371 HOW BAD COULD IT BE? 155 00:05:09,371 --> 00:05:12,253 - WELL, YOU SURE KNOW A LOT ABOUT JAIL FOR SOMEONE 156 00:05:12,253 --> 00:05:15,256 WHO HASN'T BEEN HOOKED AND BOOKED LIKE THE REST OF US. 157 00:05:15,256 --> 00:05:17,218 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - "HOOKED AND BOOKED." 158 00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:19,090 IT'S AN OLD TRADITION HERE IN THE PUBLIC DEFENDER'S OFFICE, 159 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:21,302 IS THAT WE GET PROCESSED SO THAT WE UNDERSTAND BETTER 160 00:05:21,302 --> 00:05:22,424 WHAT OUR CLIENTS GO THROUGH. 161 00:05:22,424 --> 00:05:23,845 - YEAH, RIGHT, YOU DID THAT? 162 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,427 - YEAH, A LONG TIME AGO. 163 00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:26,888 EVERYONE DOES IT. 164 00:05:26,888 --> 00:05:28,560 - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR TONIGHT? 165 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,231 I'LL PROBABLY WEAR WHAT I'M WEARING. 166 00:05:30,231 --> 00:05:32,273 - DID YOU GUYS DO THIS THING? 167 00:05:32,273 --> 00:05:34,646 YOU GO TO JAIL ON PURPOSE TO BECOME A BETTER LAWYER? 168 00:05:34,646 --> 00:05:36,688 - I WAS JUST TELLING NINA 169 00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:38,980 ABOUT THE "HOOKED AND BOOKED" THING. 170 00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:41,282 - OH, HOOKED AND BOOKED, THE HOOKED AND BOOKED THING. 171 00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:43,284 WE ALL DID IT. 172 00:05:43,284 --> 00:05:45,116 I REMEMBER WHEN I WENT IN, I MET THIS KID THERE. 173 00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:46,658 KENDRICK SYCAMORE. - OH, YEAH. 174 00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:52,584 - HE SAID TO ME, "CARLOS, I MAY NOT GET OUTTA HERE. 175 00:05:52,584 --> 00:05:54,295 SO YOU'RE GOTTA GO LIVE FOR BOTH OF US." 176 00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:56,207 - I MET A GUY NAMED LAMONT. 177 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:58,460 HE ALSO SAID SOME STUFF. 178 00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:03,214 - OKAY, PHIL, WHAT'S YOUR STORY? 179 00:06:03,214 --> 00:06:06,638 - NINA, PHIL CAN'T TALK ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE. 180 00:06:06,638 --> 00:06:09,601 BECAUSE HIS CELLMATE DIED. 181 00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,062 - DIED? 182 00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:12,604 OH, MY GOD, LIKE, IN FRONT OF HIM? 183 00:06:12,604 --> 00:06:16,728 - IT WAS YEARS LATER, BUT THEY WERE VERY, VERY CLOSE. 184 00:06:16,728 --> 00:06:19,230 - WELL, IF THIS IS A--LIKE, A THING YOU GUYS ALL DO, 185 00:06:19,230 --> 00:06:21,322 WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I'M HEARING ABOUT IT? 186 00:06:21,322 --> 00:06:24,526 - WELL, I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY PART OF THE GANG. 187 00:06:24,526 --> 00:06:25,947 - EXCUSE ME, I AM PART OF THE GANG. 188 00:06:25,947 --> 00:06:28,830 - WHAT'S THE NAME OF MY BAND? 189 00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,161 TRICK QUESTION. 190 00:06:30,161 --> 00:06:31,953 I'M NOT IN A BAND, AND YOU WOULD KNOW THAT 191 00:06:31,953 --> 00:06:33,334 IF YOU WERE PART OF THE GANG. 192 00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:36,247 - AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOOKED AND BOOKED. 193 00:06:36,247 --> 00:06:37,499 MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE SOME SPA TO GET TO, 194 00:06:37,499 --> 00:06:39,751 YOU CAN CONSIDER IT. 195 00:06:39,751 --> 00:06:41,843 - WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 196 00:06:41,843 --> 00:06:44,135 CONSIDER IT... 197 00:06:44,135 --> 00:06:46,427 CONSIDERED. 198 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,722 - SHE BOUGHT IT. 199 00:06:50,722 --> 00:06:51,763 - [whispering] SHE BOUGHT IT. 200 00:06:51,763 --> 00:06:54,145 - HOOKED AND BOOKED, LINE AND SINKER. 201 00:06:57,398 --> 00:06:58,560 - HAVE A GREAT NIGHT, CARLOS. 202 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,192 - YOU TOO. ENJOY YOUR EXPENSIVE MUD. 203 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:04,155 - AGAIN, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE IT'S A GIFT CERTIFICATE. 204 00:07:04,155 --> 00:07:07,118 I'M THRIFTY, NOT CHICHI. 205 00:07:07,118 --> 00:07:08,660 MAYBE I CAN MEET UP WITH YOU GUYS AFTER. 206 00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:10,331 - OH, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 207 00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:12,123 IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA BE FANCY OR ANYTHING. 208 00:07:12,123 --> 00:07:13,665 - LOOK, I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT YOU THINK THAT 209 00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:15,336 I'M SOME SORT OF-- - PRISS? 210 00:07:15,336 --> 00:07:16,668 - NO, I WAS GONNA SAY-- - SNOB? 211 00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:18,289 - WHAT? - BRAT? 212 00:07:18,289 --> 00:07:20,502 - NO, STANDOFFISH. - TIGHT-ASS. 213 00:07:20,502 --> 00:07:22,173 THAT'S IT. 214 00:07:22,173 --> 00:07:25,006 SEE YOU TOMORROW, WHITLEY. - YEAH. 215 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:33,434 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA DO THIS. 216 00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:35,396 [elevator bell dings] 217 00:07:35,396 --> 00:07:38,980 - OH, I SEE SOMEONE'S SHOE HAS MADE A FULL RECOVERY. 218 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,361 THANK YOU, JESUS. 219 00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,103 - HEY, MORRIS, QUICK QUESH. 220 00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:44,105 HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET PROCESSED? 221 00:07:44,105 --> 00:07:46,407 - OH, ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO. 222 00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:47,739 - SO, IF WE HUSTLE, I CAN PROBABLY STILL MAKE 223 00:07:47,739 --> 00:07:48,950 MY APPOINTMENT. 224 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:50,702 LOCK ME UP. [both chuckle] 225 00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:52,413 - ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME TO ARREST YOU? 226 00:07:52,413 --> 00:07:54,415 - WELCOME TO THE CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING. 227 00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:56,207 I'M DOING THE WHOLE HOOKED AND BOOKED THING 228 00:07:56,207 --> 00:07:57,539 THAT THE PDs DO. 229 00:07:57,539 --> 00:08:00,622 - OH, THE OLD HOOKED AND BOOKED THING. 230 00:08:00,622 --> 00:08:02,173 - YEAH. - WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? 231 00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:04,335 I'D LOVE TO ARREST YOU FOR NO REASON, 232 00:08:04,335 --> 00:08:06,047 BUT LET'S SEE. 233 00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:07,799 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I ARRESTED YOU FOR--OH! 234 00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:09,180 I WOULD LOSE MY JOB. 235 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:11,132 - OKAY, SO YOU NEED A REASON. 236 00:08:11,132 --> 00:08:12,183 WELL, I'M NOT GONNA FLASH YOU MY TITS, IF THAT'S 237 00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:14,015 WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT. 238 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:15,557 - IT'S NOT. 239 00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:19,230 - OH, OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS? 240 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:24,145 "I'M MORRIS, I'M VERY SERIOUS, BUT I WHERE A VERY FUNNY HAT." 241 00:08:24,145 --> 00:08:26,277 THAT'S ME. I'M IMPERSONATING AN OFFICER. 242 00:08:26,277 --> 00:08:28,149 - YEAH, THAT'S NOT JAILABLE. 243 00:08:28,149 --> 00:08:31,202 THAT'S STUPID, WITH A SPLISH-SPLASH OF RACISM. 244 00:08:31,202 --> 00:08:32,073 - OKAY, UM... 245 00:08:32,073 --> 00:08:37,458 [snickers] HOW ABOUT THIS? 246 00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,420 - YOU JUST ASSAULTED AN OFFICER. 247 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,082 - OW. 248 00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:42,584 OW. DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO TIGHT? 249 00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,425 - NO. 250 00:08:47,669 --> 00:08:49,721 - YOU ARE TAKING THIS VERY SERIOUSLY. 251 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:51,723 THAT'S QUITE A GRIP. 252 00:08:51,723 --> 00:08:54,265 OKAY, YEAH, WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO THIS. 253 00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:56,057 MAKE IT MORE REAL. 254 00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,639 - YOUR LEFT HAND, PLEASE. - OKAY. 255 00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:01,853 HI, YES, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TONIGHT 256 00:09:01,853 --> 00:09:03,645 FOR A MASSAGE AND A FACIAL, AND I JUST WANTED TO CALL 257 00:09:03,645 --> 00:09:05,526 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE JUST A SCOOCH LATE. 258 00:09:05,526 --> 00:09:07,528 YEAH, PROBABLY, LIKE, 7:30. 259 00:09:10,491 --> 00:09:12,403 UM, THESE ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE, 260 00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:14,325 SO IF YOU COULD JUST PUT THEM IN A... 261 00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:17,118 OKAY, IS A MUG SHOT REALLY NECESSARY? 262 00:09:17,118 --> 00:09:19,080 - NOT REALLY. [camera shutter clicks] 263 00:09:21,162 --> 00:09:22,704 [women catcalling] 264 00:09:22,704 --> 00:09:23,915 - THANKS FOR THE SOCKS. 265 00:09:23,915 --> 00:09:26,507 OH, CREEPY. [chuckles] 266 00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:29,300 SO HOW LONG DO PUBLIC DEFENDERS USUALLY STAY IN? 267 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,633 LIKE, A TIGHT 15? 268 00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,765 OOH, LOOK AT THIS. 269 00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,767 OH, NO. 270 00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:37,348 NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. 271 00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,100 SIR, I'M A PUBLIC DEFENDER DOING THE WHOLE 272 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,561 JAIL EXPERIENCE THING. 273 00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:42,023 NO, YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T LOCK ME UP 274 00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:43,484 WITH HARDENED CRIMINALS. 275 00:09:43,484 --> 00:09:45,436 IS MORRIS HERE? 'CAUSE HE KNOWS THE WHOLE DEAL. 276 00:09:45,436 --> 00:09:47,568 - MORRIS WENT HOME. - NO. NO. SIR! 277 00:09:47,568 --> 00:09:49,731 YOU CAN'T LOCK ME UP WITH THESE PSYCHOS. 278 00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,653 - PSYCHOS? 279 00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:53,114 - NO, NOT YOU GUYS. 280 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,947 BEFORE, THERE WERE OTHER PSYCHOS IN HERE, 281 00:09:55,947 --> 00:09:58,579 BUT THEY'RE GONE NOW, SO WE'RE SAFE. 282 00:09:58,579 --> 00:09:59,871 - YO, GOLDILOCKS. 283 00:09:59,871 --> 00:10:02,583 - YEAH. 284 00:10:02,583 --> 00:10:04,245 - YOU'RE ROCKING THAT SHIRT, LAR. 285 00:10:04,245 --> 00:10:06,748 - I CALL THIS ONE "THE PARTY STARTER." 286 00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:08,249 I ALMOST WORE MY OTHER SHIRT, BUT-- 287 00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,341 - ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMAN, HOPE YOU GOT YOUR "A" GAMES, 288 00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:13,174 BECAUSE AS THE INSTIGATOR FOR TONIGHT'S SHENANIGANS, 289 00:10:13,174 --> 00:10:16,307 I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT SH-- IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. 290 00:10:16,307 --> 00:10:19,931 CARLOS, TO YOUR ANTI-VERSARY. 291 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:21,182 IT'S NOT GONNA DRINK ITSELF. 292 00:10:21,182 --> 00:10:22,934 - SORRY, I GOT WING HANDS. 293 00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:24,766 - WING HANDS? - "SLIPPERY." 294 00:10:24,766 --> 00:10:26,567 "SAUCE ON THE RIM." 295 00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,189 SPLASH-BACK GETS IN YOUR EYES. 296 00:10:28,189 --> 00:10:30,271 I DON'T LOOK GOOD WITH A PATCH ON MY EYE, GUYS. 297 00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:32,984 [laughs] 298 00:10:32,984 --> 00:10:35,156 I'M CUTTING BACK ON THE DRINKING. 299 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,158 - CUTTING BACK? YOU'VE HAD TWO VODKA TONICS. 300 00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,579 - THEY'RE JUST TONICS. - WHAT? 301 00:10:38,579 --> 00:10:41,162 I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA RAGE OUR FACES OFF. 302 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,583 - ROSA HAS ALWAYS FELT THAT I'VE DRANK A LITTLE TOO MUCH, 303 00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:43,995 SO I'M TAKING A LITTLE BREAK. 304 00:10:43,995 --> 00:10:46,087 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. WHATEVER. 305 00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:47,418 THIS IS GREAT. LET'S KEEP THIS PARTY GOING. 306 00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:49,590 SHOTS! - OKAY, NOW YOU'RE READY. 307 00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:51,002 - NO, NOT FOR ME. YOU GUYS. 308 00:10:51,002 --> 00:10:54,215 DO IT. GO! 309 00:10:54,215 --> 00:10:55,797 - [sighs] 310 00:10:55,797 --> 00:10:57,719 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GOT MORE THAN JUST BOOZE PLANNED. 311 00:10:57,719 --> 00:10:59,600 ALL RIGHT? 312 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,511 TONIGHT WE ARE GONNA GET YOU A GIRL. 313 00:11:00,511 --> 00:11:02,223 - OKAY, IF I'M GONNA START DATING, 314 00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:04,185 I'M GONNA NEED ANOTHER TONIC. - NO, NO, NO. 315 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,767 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT KINDA GIRL. 316 00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:09,310 I'M TALKING ABOUT THOSE CHICKS. 317 00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:12,403 HMM? HMM? 318 00:11:12,403 --> 00:11:15,366 - "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON." 319 00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:18,369 - HMM? - WOW. 320 00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:19,320 - ONE HAND. 321 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,164 OR NONE. 322 00:11:23,164 --> 00:11:24,625 - IT'S JUST I DON'T BELONG HERE. 323 00:11:24,625 --> 00:11:25,877 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 324 00:11:25,877 --> 00:11:27,328 - IT SAYS HERE YOU ASSAULTED AN OFFICER. 325 00:11:27,328 --> 00:11:28,750 - NO, THAT WAS A JOKE. 326 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,171 THAT WAS-- - I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S FUNNY. 327 00:11:30,171 --> 00:11:31,672 - JUST CALL PHIL QUINLAN, ALL RIGHT? 328 00:11:31,672 --> 00:11:33,004 HE'S A PUBLIC DEFENDER. HE'LL EXPLAIN. 329 00:11:33,004 --> 00:11:35,046 LOOK, I JUST REALLY HAVE TO PEE, 330 00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:36,968 SO MAYBE I COULD JUST USE THE LADY'S ROOM. 331 00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:39,340 - USE THE HOLE PROVIDED. 332 00:11:48,519 --> 00:11:51,232 - WOULD YOU GALS MIND LOOKING AWAY? 333 00:11:54,355 --> 00:11:58,239 PERFECT. 334 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,861 ALL RIGHTY. 335 00:11:59,861 --> 00:12:03,164 I JUST GOT TO GET THESE DOWN. 336 00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:04,415 OH, GOD. 337 00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:07,368 OH. 338 00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:09,460 OH, YOU KNOW, FOR A METAL SEAT, 339 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:13,795 YOU'D THINK IT'D BE COLD, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY WARM. 340 00:12:13,795 --> 00:12:16,257 OH, HEY. HEY, DID YOU CALL PHIL QUINLAN? 341 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,638 AM I GETTING RELEASED? 342 00:12:21,382 --> 00:12:23,094 - HEY, PRINCESS. 343 00:12:23,094 --> 00:12:26,437 - HEY, BABY. 344 00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:29,851 - AREN'T YOU GLAD WE CAME OUT? 345 00:12:29,851 --> 00:12:31,522 - YEAH. 346 00:12:31,522 --> 00:12:33,855 - OH, AND, APRIL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH 347 00:12:33,855 --> 00:12:36,027 LIKE MOVIES AND FOOD. 348 00:12:36,027 --> 00:12:37,949 IT'S LIKE WE SHARE A BRAIN. 349 00:12:37,949 --> 00:12:40,281 CARLOS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU AND-- 350 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,493 - SPARROW. 351 00:12:42,493 --> 00:12:44,325 - FEATHER. - FEATHER. 352 00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,247 - FEATHER. FEATHER. 353 00:12:46,247 --> 00:12:47,668 YOU AND FEATHER REALLY SEEM TO BE HITTING IT OFF, HUH? 354 00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,500 YOU WANT TO PEEL-- - OR LATER. 355 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,213 WE CAN JUST HANG OUT AND CHILL IT HERE. 356 00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:53,294 - OR WE COULD PEEL. 357 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,086 - YEAH. YOU COULD PEEL. 358 00:12:55,086 --> 00:12:57,418 - NO. 359 00:12:57,418 --> 00:13:00,421 I'M NOT READY TO TAKE SOMEONE OVER TO MY APARTMENT YET. 360 00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:02,513 - TO YOUR APARTMENT? 361 00:13:02,513 --> 00:13:04,886 I MEANT, LIKE, PEEL TO A BETTER BAR. 362 00:13:04,886 --> 00:13:06,978 - BETTER THAN RASCALS? 363 00:13:06,978 --> 00:13:08,059 - LET'S GO TO HOOLIGANS. 364 00:13:08,059 --> 00:13:11,983 THEY HAVE REAL LAWYERS THERE. 365 00:13:11,983 --> 00:13:13,274 - I JUMPED THE GUN. 366 00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:14,275 THAT WAS ON ME. 367 00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,436 - DAMN IT. IT'S FINE. 368 00:13:15,436 --> 00:13:16,437 - ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO CARES? 369 00:13:16,437 --> 00:13:17,648 WHO CARES? 370 00:13:17,648 --> 00:13:19,320 OKAY? WE'RE HAVING FUN. 371 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,442 LARRY'S DOING THAT. 372 00:13:23,284 --> 00:13:24,155 LET THEM GO. 373 00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:25,246 WE'LL RALLY, OKAY? 374 00:13:25,246 --> 00:13:26,577 YOU'RE GREAT. COME ON. 375 00:13:26,577 --> 00:13:27,869 - YEAH! YEAH! 376 00:13:27,869 --> 00:13:29,160 - RALLY IT UP. - THAT'S RIGHT. 377 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,331 YEAH, WE'LL RALLY, WE'LL RALLY. 378 00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,163 WE'LL TAKE IT UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 379 00:13:32,163 --> 00:13:33,664 - YOU DON'T MEAN GOING TO A STRIP CLUB, DO YOU? 380 00:13:33,664 --> 00:13:35,166 - OH, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN A STRIP CLUB. 381 00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:36,878 - OH, OKAY. 382 00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:40,761 - ♪ KARAOKE STRIP CLUB HERE WE COME ♪ 383 00:13:40,761 --> 00:13:42,303 COME ON. AREN'T YOU EXCITED? 384 00:13:42,303 --> 00:13:44,265 - I'M EXCITED, PHIL. THIS IS GREAT. 385 00:13:44,265 --> 00:13:45,887 - ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'T LOOK EXCITED. 386 00:13:45,887 --> 00:13:47,388 - WELL-- - IS IT THE DRIVING THING? 387 00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:48,970 BECAUSE LARRY PROMISED THAT HE'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVER AND-- 388 00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:51,772 - I TOLD A FIB. 389 00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:54,315 - NO, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, AND THIS IS--IT'S SUPER PRIMO. 390 00:13:54,315 --> 00:13:56,357 - WHY AREN'T YOU RAGING YOUR FACE OFF? 391 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:57,939 WHY DID YOU EVEN COME OUT? 392 00:13:57,939 --> 00:14:01,402 - BECAUSE IT SEEMED IMPORTANT TO YOU. 393 00:14:01,402 --> 00:14:02,403 - TO ME? WHAT? - YEAH. 394 00:14:02,403 --> 00:14:04,115 - NO, IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU. 395 00:14:04,115 --> 00:14:06,327 - WELL, I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU GET A LITTLE LONELY. 396 00:14:06,327 --> 00:14:09,911 - WHERE IS THIS--WHAT ARE YOU-- WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 397 00:14:09,911 --> 00:14:12,293 - PHIL, YOU'VE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU'RE SOMETIMES WORRIED 398 00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:13,334 ABOUT DYING ALONE. 399 00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:14,545 - WHOA, WHOA. 400 00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:15,957 WHAT ARE YOU EVEN--WHAT? 401 00:14:15,957 --> 00:14:17,418 THAT'S CRAZY. 402 00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,210 LARRY, I'VE NEVER-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 403 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,211 I NEV--NO. 404 00:14:20,211 --> 00:14:21,212 NO. 405 00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:22,503 THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. 406 00:14:22,503 --> 00:14:24,175 YOU COULD DO ANYTHING TONIGHT. 407 00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:25,216 WHA--WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 408 00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:26,307 - HONESTLY? - YEAH. 409 00:14:26,307 --> 00:14:27,718 - I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. 410 00:14:27,718 --> 00:14:29,350 I WANT TO BE ON MY HALF OF THE COUCH, 411 00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:31,602 AND ROSA ON HER HALF OF THE COUCH, 412 00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:35,776 MAYBE WITH HER FEET UP, AND WE'RE JUST WATCHING TV, 413 00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:38,569 AND IT'S CORNY, AND IT'S JUST NICE. 414 00:14:38,569 --> 00:14:39,570 YOU KNOW? 415 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:43,364 - NO, I DON'T. 416 00:14:43,364 --> 00:14:45,866 WISH I DID. 417 00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:50,161 YOU KNOW WHAT? 418 00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:51,242 - HMM? 419 00:14:51,242 --> 00:14:52,243 - WE'RE GONNA GET ROSA BACK. 420 00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:53,244 - MM. - YEAH, WE ARE. 421 00:14:53,244 --> 00:14:54,245 RIGHT NOW. 422 00:14:54,245 --> 00:14:55,416 TURN THIS PUPPY AROUND. 423 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,337 WE'RE GONNA GO GET HER BACK. 424 00:14:56,337 --> 00:14:57,338 ROSA, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU. 425 00:14:57,338 --> 00:14:58,339 COME ON. 426 00:14:58,339 --> 00:14:59,840 - PHIL, HEY, HEY! 427 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,382 WE'RE GOING 60 MILES PER HOUR! 428 00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:03,344 - RIGHT. 429 00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,755 WE'RE IN A CAR. 430 00:15:04,755 --> 00:15:06,217 - IT'S KARAOKE TIME. 431 00:15:06,217 --> 00:15:07,218 - OKAY, LARRY. HEY, HEY! 432 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,431 - [pops knuckles] COME ON. 433 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,013 - OKAY, AS YOUR LAWYER, I NEED TO ADVISE YOU 434 00:15:12,013 --> 00:15:13,814 TO NOT BUST MY WHITE MEAT. 435 00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:14,815 - YOU SCARED? 436 00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:16,017 - NO. MM-MM. 437 00:15:16,017 --> 00:15:17,398 - NO? YOU AIN'T SCARED? 438 00:15:17,398 --> 00:15:19,190 - NO. NO, I'M NOT--I'M NOT SCARED. 439 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,651 IN FACT, I FIGHT PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. 440 00:15:20,651 --> 00:15:22,193 - UH-HUH? 441 00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:23,654 - AND SOMETHING ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME 442 00:15:23,654 --> 00:15:25,406 IS THAT I GREW UP WITH THREE BROTHERS WHO ARE HUGE, 443 00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,618 AND THEY USED TO BEAT ME UP EVERY DAY. 444 00:15:27,618 --> 00:15:28,619 - OH, THAT'S JUST SAD. 445 00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:30,031 - NO, IT'S TOUGH. 446 00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,994 MY POINT IS THAT IT'S-- 447 00:15:32,994 --> 00:15:34,875 OH, MY GOD. I THINK I BROKE MY HAND. 448 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:36,627 - YOU GOT TO PUT YOUR THUMB ON THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR FIST. 449 00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:39,460 [both grunting] 450 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,042 [buzzer] - UH-UH. 451 00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:42,253 WHERE YOU GOING, HUH? 452 00:15:42,253 --> 00:15:43,254 WHERE YOU GOING? 453 00:15:43,254 --> 00:15:44,845 - NO FIGHTING! 454 00:15:44,845 --> 00:15:47,388 - AH! 455 00:15:47,388 --> 00:15:49,510 - OH, SURE. 456 00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:51,392 TASE THE MINORITY. WELL, YOU KNOW-- 457 00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:52,643 AH! [groans] 458 00:15:56,647 --> 00:15:59,520 - OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS 459 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,102 AFTER THE DAY I HAD. 460 00:16:01,102 --> 00:16:03,814 - JUST RELAX AND ENJOY. 461 00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:05,906 I GOT YOU, BOO. 462 00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:09,700 [buzzer] - OH, MY GOD. 463 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,612 - THAT TASER KNOCKED YOU OUT COLD. 464 00:16:11,612 --> 00:16:12,743 - YOU UP? 465 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:13,744 GOOD. 466 00:16:13,744 --> 00:16:14,875 NOW I CAN SLAP YOU AGAIN. 467 00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,578 - CAN WE JUST CALL A TRUCE? 468 00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:18,119 - SO WHAT, I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO FORGET THAT YOUR 469 00:16:18,119 --> 00:16:19,920 UGLY SHOES ARE WHAT GOT ME IN HERE? 470 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,382 - OH, SURE, 'CAUSE MY SHOES ARE THE ONES 471 00:16:21,382 --> 00:16:22,623 THAT PUT THE DRUGS IN YOUR BRA. 472 00:16:22,623 --> 00:16:24,255 - OKAY, THAT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT EITHER. 473 00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:25,756 MY BOYFRIEND ASKED ME TO-- 474 00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:27,128 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 475 00:16:27,128 --> 00:16:29,430 YOUR BOYFRIEND? 476 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:32,303 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE DRUGS WERE YOUR BOYFRIEND'S? 477 00:16:32,303 --> 00:16:36,687 - BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. 478 00:16:36,687 --> 00:16:39,230 - YOU LOVE A GUY WHO WOULD LET YOU ROT IN HERE FOR HIS DRUGS? 479 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:41,272 I MEAN, HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE? 480 00:16:41,272 --> 00:16:43,274 PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN. 481 00:16:43,274 --> 00:16:45,946 - [scoffs] LIKE YOU NEVER DONE ANYTHING DUMB FOR A GUY BEFORE. 482 00:16:45,946 --> 00:16:47,068 - NO, I HAVE, LOTS OF THINGS, 483 00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:51,282 BUT NOTHING AS DUMB AS GOING TO JAIL FOR A...GUY. 484 00:16:51,282 --> 00:16:54,865 OH, MY GOD. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. 485 00:16:54,865 --> 00:16:56,957 I'M IN JAIL FOR A GUY. 486 00:16:56,957 --> 00:16:58,499 all: OOH. 487 00:16:58,499 --> 00:17:00,081 - NO, OKAY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 488 00:17:00,081 --> 00:17:01,622 IT'S THIS GUY PHIL THAT I WORK WITH, 489 00:17:01,622 --> 00:17:02,623 AND I JUST--I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK 490 00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:03,624 I WAS SOME SORT OF-- 491 00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:04,465 - BRAT? - SISSY? 492 00:17:04,465 --> 00:17:05,586 - BOUGIE? - PRINCESS? 493 00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:06,667 - SKINNY BITCH? - BARBIE? 494 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:07,968 - DIPSH--? - FANCY PANTS? 495 00:17:07,968 --> 00:17:10,301 - OKAY--FANCY PANTS? 496 00:17:10,301 --> 00:17:11,842 THAT'S THE VIBE I GIVE OFF? 497 00:17:11,842 --> 00:17:13,304 'CAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT THAT I WAS LIKE 498 00:17:13,304 --> 00:17:15,096 A NINA FROM THE BLOCK. 499 00:17:15,096 --> 00:17:16,097 - YOU AIN'T FROM MY BLOCK. 500 00:17:16,097 --> 00:17:16,977 - ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. 501 00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:17,978 WE'RE NOT THAT DISSIMILAR. 502 00:17:17,978 --> 00:17:19,640 OKAY? 503 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,061 WE'RE BOTH IN HERE 'CAUSE OF GUYS. 504 00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:23,894 - AT LEAST MINE GOES DOWN ON ME ON THE REGULAR. 505 00:17:23,894 --> 00:17:25,316 - LIKE, HOW REGULAR? 506 00:17:25,316 --> 00:17:26,647 'CAUSE THAT IS HARD TO FIND. 507 00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:28,359 AND MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T RAT HIM OUT--YOU SHOULD. 508 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:29,400 YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY-- YOU SHOULD RAT-- 509 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,571 YOU SHOULD RAT HIM OUT. 510 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,244 YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY RAT HIM OUT. 511 00:17:33,244 --> 00:17:34,785 - OH, I THINK--I'M GOOD. 512 00:17:34,785 --> 00:17:36,327 - OKAY. - YOU'RE MISSING A STEP. 513 00:17:36,327 --> 00:17:37,158 OOH. 514 00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:38,459 - OKAY. 515 00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:39,460 - ALL RIGHT. 516 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:40,661 - OKAY. - YOU GET THERE. 517 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:42,753 I'M GONNA GET A BETTER-- - PHIL. 518 00:17:42,753 --> 00:17:44,465 PHIL. 519 00:17:44,465 --> 00:17:45,966 - SHH. - PHIL. 520 00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:46,967 - YEAH? 521 00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,089 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 522 00:17:49,089 --> 00:17:50,711 YOU'RE HIDING BEHIND THE PALM TREE. 523 00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:52,473 THAT'S YOUR PLAN FOR GETTING MY WIFE BACK? 524 00:17:52,473 --> 00:17:53,884 - TO HELP. 525 00:17:53,884 --> 00:17:55,976 TO SIGNAL YOU WHEN TO KEEP TALKING, 526 00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:58,349 AND WHEN TO STOP TALKING LIKE A THIRD-BASE COACH... 527 00:17:58,349 --> 00:17:59,850 [deep voice] OF LOVE. 528 00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,563 - JUST SHH! 529 00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:03,564 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 530 00:18:03,564 --> 00:18:05,856 KNOCK LIKE A MAN. 531 00:18:09,860 --> 00:18:11,692 OKAY, I SEE SOMETHING. 532 00:18:11,692 --> 00:18:13,033 ALL RIGHT. 533 00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:14,905 NOW, THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH SHOULD BE-- 534 00:18:14,905 --> 00:18:18,659 - SHH! - YOU SHH. 535 00:18:18,659 --> 00:18:19,870 UH, YOU SHOULD RUN. 536 00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,292 - WHAT? - REALLY FAST. 537 00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:22,293 - NO! - YEAH, NO, NO. 538 00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:23,294 IT'S MYSTERIOUS. 539 00:18:23,294 --> 00:18:24,165 GIRLS LOVE THAT KINDA THING. 540 00:18:24,165 --> 00:18:25,796 - [groans] - YEAH. 541 00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:27,918 NO, NO, SHE'LL BE ANALYZING IT FOR DAYS. 542 00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:29,049 SHE'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?" 543 00:18:29,049 --> 00:18:31,302 - I WANT TO SIT ON MY COUCH. - WE GOTTA MOVE! 544 00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:32,673 SHE CAN SEE US THROUGH THE DOOR. LET'S GO. 545 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:33,964 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 546 00:18:33,964 --> 00:18:35,846 THERE'S A GUY IN THERE. 547 00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,471 WAIT, SHOULD WE GO BACK AND BEAT HIM UP OR SOMETHING? 548 00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:41,432 - I DON'T KNOW. 549 00:18:41,432 --> 00:18:43,143 I MEAN, HE WAS PRETTY FIT. 550 00:18:43,143 --> 00:18:44,895 - HOW FIT? ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN. 551 00:18:44,895 --> 00:18:45,976 - MARK WAHLBERG. 552 00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:47,188 - [grunts] 553 00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:53,984 - HOW'D IT GO WITH ROSA? 554 00:18:53,984 --> 00:18:55,866 - GOOD. 555 00:18:55,866 --> 00:18:56,867 PHASE ONE COMPLETE. 556 00:18:56,867 --> 00:18:58,409 - THANK YOU. 557 00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:00,160 - WHEW. 558 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,994 I WAS WORRIED SHE MAY BE IN THERE BANGING SOME DUDE. 559 00:19:03,994 --> 00:19:04,995 AWKWARD. 560 00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:17,388 - [sharp breaths] 561 00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:22,603 IT'S FROZEN, AND BEFORE YOU ASK, 562 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:24,184 YES, I TRIED RESTARTING IT. 563 00:19:24,184 --> 00:19:25,356 - OKAY, WELL, PLEASE JUST DON'T FREAK OUT. 564 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:27,608 - NO, I'M NOT. 565 00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:30,361 I'M JUST GETTING SOME LIGHT CARDIO IN WHILE IT REBOOTS. 566 00:19:30,361 --> 00:19:32,613 IF ROSA WANTS MARK WAHLBERG, 567 00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:34,615 THEN MARK WAHLBERG SHE SHALL HAVE. 568 00:19:34,615 --> 00:19:36,737 [sharp breaths] 569 00:19:36,737 --> 00:19:38,369 AH! 570 00:19:39,990 --> 00:19:42,953 - HEY, THERE SHE IS, ALL RELAXED AND RESTED 571 00:19:42,953 --> 00:19:44,245 FROM A NIGHT OF LUXURY. 572 00:19:44,245 --> 00:19:45,916 - YEAH, NO, I SKIPPED THE SPA, 573 00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:50,210 AND I DECIDED TO EMBRACE THE TRADITION, 574 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:53,464 AND SPEND A NIGHT IN JAIL, SO... 575 00:19:53,464 --> 00:19:54,835 - WELCOME TO THE CLUB, HUH? 576 00:19:54,835 --> 00:19:55,966 THERE YOU GO. 577 00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:56,967 RIGHT, GUYS? 578 00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:58,098 - YEAH, HOW WAS IT? 579 00:19:58,098 --> 00:19:59,340 - PRETTY INTENSE. 580 00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:00,601 I MEAN, I GOT IN A FIGHT, AND I HAD TO PEE 581 00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:02,433 IN FRONT OF A LOT OF WOMEN. 582 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,054 - LIKE, A FIGHT, FIGHT? 583 00:20:04,054 --> 00:20:04,975 - YEAH, FULL ON. 584 00:20:04,975 --> 00:20:06,106 - NOT BAD FOR A PRISS. 585 00:20:06,106 --> 00:20:07,558 - I GOT TO ADMIT IT REALLY HELPED ME 586 00:20:07,558 --> 00:20:09,650 UNDERSTAND MY CLIENT BETTER, YOU KNOW. 587 00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:11,772 AND SHE'S A FREE WOMAN NOW, SO I GUESS IT WAS WORTH 588 00:20:11,772 --> 00:20:12,773 GETTING TASED. 589 00:20:12,773 --> 00:20:14,355 - TA--TASED? 590 00:20:14,355 --> 00:20:17,027 - YEAH, NOT A GREAT FEELING. [laughs] 591 00:20:17,027 --> 00:20:18,118 BUT I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR GUYS' NIGHT, 592 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,860 SO I'M JUST GONNA FRESHEN UP FIRST. 593 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:22,783 THEY TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO A WHOLE SHOWER IN A SINK. 594 00:20:22,783 --> 00:20:24,244 - HUH. 595 00:20:24,244 --> 00:20:25,746 - IT'S, LIKE, A ONE, TWO... [whistles] 596 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,998 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 597 00:20:27,998 --> 00:20:29,500 - SHE CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS. 598 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,791 - NEVER, EVER. 599 00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,583 - YOU THINK THEY GOT THE TASING ON VIDEO? 600 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,005 - LARRY. - THAT'S RUDE. 601 00:20:35,005 --> 00:20:37,928 - I BET MORRIS HAS IT. 602 00:20:37,928 --> 00:20:39,009 - HUH. 603 00:20:42,593 --> 00:20:43,594 WAIT UP, GUYS. 604 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:49,099 - HEY, NINA. - YEAH. 605 00:20:49,099 --> 00:20:50,521 - WE ALL PITCHED IN, AND GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING 606 00:20:50,521 --> 00:20:51,892 TO WELCOME YOU TO THE PD FRATERNITY. 607 00:20:51,892 --> 00:20:54,525 - WHAT? - MM-HMM. 608 00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:57,197 - A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR A ONE-HOUR 609 00:20:57,197 --> 00:20:59,530 AT MISS HOLLYWOOD'S THAI MASSAGE. 610 00:20:59,530 --> 00:21:00,321 AWW. 611 00:21:00,321 --> 00:21:01,322 IS IT A BROTHEL? 612 00:21:01,322 --> 00:21:03,324 - ONLY CERTAIN ROOMS. 613 00:21:03,324 --> 00:21:04,455 IT'S CLASSIER THAN YOU THINK. 614 00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,577 - WELL, IT'S VERY SWEET. THANK YOU. 615 00:21:06,577 --> 00:21:07,788 - IT WAS PRETTY COOL OF YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR SPA DAY 616 00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:08,789 TO HANG OUT IN JAIL, SO... 617 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:10,210 - HEY, PHIL. - YEAH. 618 00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:13,003 - HERE'S THAT VIDEO YOU WANTED. 619 00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:14,174 - WHAT WAS THAT? 620 00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:16,547 - OH, IT'S YOU GETTING TASED. 621 00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:18,379 BZZZ. [laughs] 622 00:21:18,379 --> 00:21:20,551 OH. 623 00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:21,422 WHAT, THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU IT WAS A PRANK? 624 00:21:21,422 --> 00:21:23,384 - DUDE. MORRIS. 625 00:21:23,384 --> 00:21:24,345 - OH. - YOU EVER HEARD OF A SECRET? 626 00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,347 - WHATEVS. 627 00:21:26,347 --> 00:21:28,188 - A PRANK? 628 00:21:28,188 --> 00:21:29,139 - YOU SEE, IT'S SOMETHING WE DO-- 629 00:21:29,139 --> 00:21:30,270 - A PRANK? - OOF! 630 00:21:30,270 --> 00:21:33,814 YO. - WOW. 631 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,436 - HUH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 632 00:21:35,436 --> 00:21:37,358 IT REALLY DOES WORK TO KEEP THE THUMB ON THE OUTSIDE. 633 00:21:37,358 --> 00:21:39,199 DID NOT FEEL THAT AT ALL.