1 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,577 - Evan. - Hey. 2 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,332 You were out for a while. Are you hungry 3 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,877 or thirsty or anything? 4 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,337 I love you. 5 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,672 I love you, too, Mom. 6 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,846 How was work? 7 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,808 - It was all right. - Oh. 8 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,686 Are you happy? 9 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,356 Yes. 10 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,445 Do you want to hear a joke? 11 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,863 Sure. 12 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:57,283 This shopkeeper 13 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,204 receives flowers at the opening of his new store... 14 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,958 and the card says, "Rest in peace." 15 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,627 Are you sure you're not thirsty, Ma? 16 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:12,256 So he calls up the florist angry and she says, 17 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:16,803 "Sir, at least you weren't the one 18 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,389 who got flowers at your wife's funeral 19 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,727 that said, "Congratulations on the new location." 20 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,152 You need more morphine? 21 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,745 Ma. 22 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,252 Do you want me to call a priest? 23 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,061 I want you to know I... 24 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,605 think you two were amazing. 25 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,570 And I'm grateful for everything you... 26 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,645 Why don't you guys bury these in your stomachs, huh? 27 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,523 That sucked, I'm sorry. Look, I'm gonna... 28 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,983 I'm gonna have Shitty Carl try to cover your shift. 29 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,359 I'm gonna call Carl. 30 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,403 - I'm sorry about your mom. - Thanks, Mike. 31 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,286 You know, Ev, that was a real small funeral. 32 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,914 I mean, you know, it was intimate. 33 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,750 That's what I meant, it was good. It was a good funeral. 34 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,294 Yeah, they really never had any friends or family 35 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,379 or anything, so... 36 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,714 Nobody else? 37 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,344 They were only children. 38 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,763 I mean, their parents died young. It was just the three of us. 39 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,265 You know, I'm really sorry about the casket thing, too. 40 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,352 I mean, I think I saw I had some... Some fish oil on my hands 41 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,563 - and it... the brass was slick. - Funerals are for the living, Tom. 42 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,358 Why the fuck does this fucking goddamn machine not work?! 43 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:36,525 Fuck! 44 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,818 The cigarette machine is for decoration. 45 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,779 - There's no cigarettes there. - Give me some of that drink! 46 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,489 Do you want a shot? Let's have a shot. 47 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,575 - I got to work later. - No, shots. Mike, shots, please. 48 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,327 Whiskey, whiskey. 49 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,495 I gotta take a piss. 50 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,705 ...some fruity faggot juice just like you, you fuckin'... 51 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,749 Watch where the fuck you're going, man. 52 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,209 - I'm sorry. - Bite me, bitch. 53 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,629 Yeah, you're fucked up, huh? You tryin' to roll on my bitch?! 54 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,089 - No. - I fuckin' saw you, man. 55 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,591 - I wasn't. - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 56 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,843 Guy had a fuckin' rough day, all right? 57 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,971 Why don't you just shut your fuckin' cock holster, 58 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:08,265 have a drink with me? Calm down, Jesus Christ. 59 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,939 Got a cigarette? 60 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:19,026 No, I roll my own. Sorry. 61 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,737 Hey, I got a fuckin' cigarette. You want a cigarette? Here. 62 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,080 - Hey, hey, what the fuck?! - Fuck! 63 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,582 Hey! Hey! 64 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,919 Babe, get up! Get up! Kick his fuckin' ass! 65 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:43,968 - Get him off him! - Fuck! 66 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,976 - Evan, Evan, Evan! - Fuck, that's enough, man. 67 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,723 - All right. I'm all right! - Babe, babe, babe. 68 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,811 Fuckin'... Evan, Jesus Christ, brother. 69 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,148 I mean, you knocked that stupid fuckin' gold thing right out of his face. 70 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,819 Are you guys fuckin' serious? 71 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,533 Ev, I just picked up, like, fuckin' four teeth off the goddamn ground, man. 72 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,828 Holy shit. 73 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,789 I mean, holy fucking shit. 74 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,877 Here, put this on your shit. 75 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,254 The cops were here, guys. 76 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,464 Is he pressing charges? 77 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,841 The psychopath? I don't know! 78 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,010 Maybe! You almost fuckin' murdered the guy! 79 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,846 Will you... you're getting blood all over your ice. 80 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,854 Will you put the gauze on your goddamn knuckles 81 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,214 and then fuckin' put ice on it? 82 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,435 Tommy, seriously, cock holster mouth? 83 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,123 - Hey, what... - Why would you say that? 84 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,564 - 'Cause he had a fuckin' cockmouth. - For fuck's sake! 85 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,237 Look, man, you nee... you need to change up your environment. 86 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,908 You have a lot of shit going on, your whole family's dead, 87 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,911 and I think the best thing for you would be to just shift gears 88 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,746 and do something completely different with yourself. 89 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,247 Are you telling me that I'm fired, Mike? 90 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,749 He's not saying that. Mike, you wouldn't... 91 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,584 I'm not saying you're fired. I'm not saying you're fired. 92 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,169 No, Mike, you're not saying that. 93 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,712 But the boss was here 94 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,757 and he said you can't work here anymore, man. I'm sorry. 95 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,717 I really don't want to be unemployed right now, Mike. 96 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,969 Look, I can bring you back. I swear to God I can bring you back. 97 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,471 I brought Shitty Carl back. 98 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,306 He stabbed a goddamn crippled guy in the leg with a fork. 99 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,810 Right, Shitty Carl! He's a fuckin' shit. He's a piece of shit! 100 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,312 - I just need some time. - Ah, fuck! 101 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,855 I just need some fuckin' time, man. 102 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,304 You know how it is, man. I mean, the fucking Yelp reviews. 103 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,694 - We're getting fucked here. I can't... - What are you gonna do, brother? 104 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,196 - Where did you get this? - Evan, wait... 105 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,281 All right, I don't need you to fuckin' follow me home, Tom. 106 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,242 Just hold up, man. 107 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,785 Ev! 108 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,499 Fuck. 109 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,252 Dude, do you need any help down at the boats? 110 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,212 Can I have one of those? 111 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,880 Yeah. 112 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,342 I'll ask around. 113 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,887 You should talk to Dale about construction gigs. 114 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,389 Dale? 115 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,517 He's been unemployed since June, man. 116 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,727 Give me that lighter. 117 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,190 You want to gut fish for tourists? 118 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,735 I mean, I smelled like a tuna fish's asshole for four years, 119 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,362 but it's good work. 120 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:09,613 Smell that. 121 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,421 - I don't... I don't know. - Just smell it. 122 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,409 - I don't know. - It's like it's on me forever. 123 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:16,120 I got some inheritance. I can just use that. 124 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:19,582 Yo, where my fuckin' cigarette at, bitch? 125 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,500 It's gonna get real fuckin' boring 126 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,586 - following me around all night. - I know where you live now, bitch. 127 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,880 Why don't you just go back to fuckin' East County you fuckin' tweakers? 128 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,257 - Fuck you, you motherfuckers. - Fuck you! 129 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,263 Thanks for staying, man. 130 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,725 Yeah, they'll file a police report, they'll sue me, 131 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,436 then they'll come back here with baseball bats. 132 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,479 You want me to stay? Got an extra bed? 133 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,108 My mom's. 134 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,154 Fuck. I mean, Ev, I love you, brother, 135 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,699 but I'm not drunk enough to sleep in your mom's deathbed. 136 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,075 Yeah. 137 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,953 Why don't you just lock the doors? I'll call you tomorrow. 138 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,413 - Are you gonna be all right? - Mm-hmm. 139 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,081 - You gonna be all right? - Yup. 140 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,709 Yeah, you gonna be all right. I'll see you tomorrow. 141 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,961 Fuck! 142 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,630 These fuckin' things. 143 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,965 - Am I supposed to fuckin' jump it? - Are you fuckin' retarded? 144 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,134 There's a hinge, man. 145 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,761 Fuck you, man. 146 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,390 Hey, uh, why don't you... 147 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,976 Why don't you call up somebody for a sympathy fuck? 148 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,187 No, I'm good, dude. 149 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,980 All right. 150 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,441 I'm telling you, Evan, your mom just died. 151 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,652 You're only gonna get to use that one once. 152 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,654 I love you, brother! 153 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,864 - Love you, dude. - I love you. 154 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,386 Mm, condom? 155 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,847 Okay. 156 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,446 - Mm. - Handsome picture. 157 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,908 I look like a hobo with smallpox. 158 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,116 You know I'm only here because I feel sorry for you, 159 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,913 but this is a very nice picture, Evan Russell. 160 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,791 Thank you. 161 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,877 - You're sitting on the condom. - Mm, why do you have this? 162 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,422 Are you fucking whores in TJ? 163 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,590 Oh. 164 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,884 What? 165 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,470 How did you even get to that? 166 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,223 My dad, he made me get one 'cause we were gonna go to Italy 167 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,310 after I got back from college, but you know what happened. 168 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,229 How do you feel about me? 169 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,489 I just got sober all of a sudden. I can't do this, I'm sorry. 170 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,747 Get out of town, Evan. 171 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,415 Right now? 172 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,418 Yeah. My brother's a fuckup, too, and he took a break 173 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,920 and he went to India, and he totally re-centered. 174 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,923 I just worked my way up to sous chef, though. 175 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,593 You didn't go to Berkeley to chop vegetables. 176 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,471 You sound like an elitist asshole. 177 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,766 Mm, I'm just not sober enough for this conversation. 178 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:28,228 Then let's have sex. 179 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,669 Mr. Russell? 180 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,261 Dispatch, I've got no one at the house. 181 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,809 Fuck. 182 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,901 Hi, can I get a flight somewhere? 183 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,694 Anywhere. 184 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,780 I'm sorry, I'm really hungover. 185 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,617 Where would you go? I don't know, like, uh, 186 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,370 Canada or Europe or something? 187 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,289 White people love Italy? 188 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,999 Gotcha. 189 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,669 Book me on the next flight. Or, when is the next flight? 190 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,879 Actually, hold on a second. Should I go to Italy? 191 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,635 What? 192 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:45,013 What, a wizard? 193 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,473 You're a wizard, Harry. 194 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,142 You're a wizard. 195 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,614 So I says to Mabel, I says, you can't fucking put 196 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,115 the guy on the fence like that 197 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,076 'cause it's fucking getting in the way of my apple trees. 198 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,537 - Excuse me. - Sorry, mate. Yes, bruv, what? 199 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,945 Do you guys know where I can find an Italian phrase book? 200 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,542 Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a bundle of them down there, actually, pal. 201 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,044 - Thanks. - Yeah. 202 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,795 - Where are you from? - California. 203 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,422 Oh, California. What, Hollywood! 204 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,092 - Join us for a drink, pal. - Yeah, come on, man. 205 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,260 Come on. Sit down. Have a drink with us. 206 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,554 Go off and get him a drink, go on. 207 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,015 I'm Tom. That's me pal, Sam. 208 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,143 Sam's Welsh and he fucks sheep, but don't worry, he's all right. 209 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,603 You know, he won't come near your bum. 210 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,104 - I'm not Welsh. - Listen, mate, 211 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,940 - you are gonna fucking love it here. - Thanks. 212 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,443 All you do is eat, fucking drink, smoke weed. 213 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,291 I lay off the scag personally, don't I? But it's your holiday, mate. 214 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,114 You do what you fucking like. 215 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,409 Let's see if the Yank can fucking keep up, eh? 216 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,953 Boo! 217 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,621 Look at that. 218 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,958 Well done, bruv. 219 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:40,212 Oh, my God, I wish I could fucking talk Italian, you know? 220 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,798 Bunch of sixes, bruv. 221 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,968 - Sixes? - Ciao. Ciao. 222 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,136 Oh, he's a goddamn American hero. 223 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:51,473 Oi, oi. 224 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,141 You like me? No? 225 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,311 No. Absolutely. 226 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,898 Go on. Go on. Oh, my God. 227 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,234 No, what are you doing, mate? No, fucking hell, mate. 228 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,682 No, you got to be more aggressive 229 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,530 if you want to shag an Italian bird like that, mate. 230 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,449 What are you talking about? What are you telling him for? 231 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,702 At least he went up there, but you didn't do nothing. 232 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,579 You just don't give a little fucking... 233 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,498 - What? - Fucking hell. 234 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,208 Thank you for the beer, man. 235 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,627 Ah, you're welcome. Oh... 236 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,588 Where are you at? We're gonna hire a car tomorrow, 237 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,298 go down the coast. 238 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,508 Do you want to chip in with some petrol? 239 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,218 Uh... 240 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,180 Go on and get... Get a hold of that. Go on. 241 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,016 - Come on, Evan! - Get it fuckin' in ya! 242 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,268 I said, "Fuck you, you cunt." Do you remember that? 243 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,563 I was like, "Fuck you, you cunt." Proper cunt. 244 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,815 I'm like, "Fuck you, you mug." 245 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,483 Next thing you know, I got punched in the face, mate. 246 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,051 Woke up three days later in hospital 247 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,612 the cunt had fuckin' done me. 248 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,363 He didn't help. He didn't help. 249 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,407 He didn't help. 250 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,284 You ever seen "8 Mile"? You seen that movie "8 Mile"? 251 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,911 - Yeah. - Right? It's like that. 252 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,204 So, geezers just rapping. 253 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,750 And then, I swear to God, one geezer goes... goes up on the mic, right? 254 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,918 And he goes, "Who can fucking battle me, blud?" 255 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,046 All this fucking bollocks. "Who gonna battle me?" 256 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,131 I said, "Do you know what, fuck this cunt. I'll fuckin' have a go." 257 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,176 Never rapped in me life, bruv. Never fucking rapped in my life. 258 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,346 Went up there, mate. Proper smashed him, mate, 259 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,765 with a bottle in the face. 260 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,688 Birds, eh? 261 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,398 Fuckin' birds. 262 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,070 I was, uh... I was seeing this girl once. 263 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,447 She's the love of my fucking life, pal, you know? 264 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,284 Known her since school, first kiss, all that fucking shit. Yeah. 265 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,620 Talked about having kids together, the whole lot. 266 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,543 And one day, 267 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,796 she's in this pub 268 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:31,675 and she meets this bloke from Ibiza, DJ, something. 269 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,385 Got a flat out there. 270 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,930 She only fucking leaves me 271 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,015 and goes and lives with this cunt in Ibiza. 272 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,102 Broke my fucking heart, mate. 273 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,814 Anyway, two years later, I'm in me local supermarket 274 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,442 and I fucking see her there. 275 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,610 She was proper fat. 276 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,989 Sunburnt, skin like leather... 277 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,744 teeth like fucking doggins, it was disgusting. I loved it. 278 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,083 You're lucky I'm here, pal. 279 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,004 'Cause most men don't share their emotions like I do. 280 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,639 - Hey, mate, you got a Wi-Fi code? - No, I ain't got a Wi-Fi code. 281 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,349 You do have the Wi-Fi code, mate. Can I just... 282 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,837 I gave it to you last night, man. 283 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,936 What did you do with that little piece of paper? 284 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,688 You fucking rolled, didn't you? 285 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,356 You used it as a roach. 286 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,234 Oh, for fuck's sake! 287 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,112 Oh, bro, I fucking blazed the fucking Wi-Fi code, mate. 288 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,912 ...because I hate all nations equally. And I'll tell you something else, 289 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,915 - the problem with Yanks, right? - Yeah, everyone hates Americans. 290 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,403 I get it. I'm an evil imperialist. 291 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,210 You don't play rugby, that's the problem. 292 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,630 Well, yeah, there's that, but it's also 'cause you're fucking loud. 293 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,258 - You're loud. I played soccer. - Whole nation is loud. 294 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,262 I played soccer in elementary school and I drink... I drink well. 295 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:23,513 No, you can't. 296 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,641 You have... I've barely seen you drink five of those. 297 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,394 - That's not enough for you? - No, I'm afraid not. 298 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,980 Fucking embarrassing is what you are, mate. 299 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,107 - All right. - Oh, look at this. 300 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,402 - All right, I'll get the next round. - Yeah, go on, mate. Nice one. 301 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,737 Thanks, Evan. 302 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,997 We saw each other earlier and if I stared any longer 303 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,209 without saying hi, I'd be the creepy dude gawking. 304 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,924 Oh, shit. English? 305 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,259 I need a drink. 306 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,011 Well, come sit with me and my friends. 307 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,387 Leave with me. 308 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,725 Yeah. 309 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:14,189 I have to get this round first and... 310 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:18,526 I'd rather go home with you now, but if you like boys more... 311 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:23,031 Really? 312 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,075 Come on. 313 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,328 - What are you doing? - Trying to have fun. 314 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,039 Are you a prostitute? 315 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,792 You want me to be? 316 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,670 Are you gonna rob me? 317 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,254 No, you look poor. 318 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:41,508 Well, I'm not gonna carry drugs up my ass for you or your boss. 319 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,387 - Go out with me tomorrow night. - No. 320 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,223 - 'Cause you're a hooker. - Because I don't date. 321 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,686 Well, this is a fucked-up act you have, 322 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:56,439 but let's say you go home with... 323 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,692 I'd still like to grab coffee or something sometime 324 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:02,278 'cause I think you're the most attractive person I've ever seen. 325 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,948 But that doesn't outweigh that you might be a mental patient 326 00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,867 and I gotta make sure you're the kind of crazy I can deal with. 327 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,747 You made this so much more complicated than it needs to be. 328 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,624 Bottle of wine tomorrow night. 329 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,252 No... no! 330 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,795 Maybe? 331 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,756 Right. 332 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:26,845 Oh, no. 333 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,597 Oh, no. You fumbled. 334 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,099 But if you're looking for someone to play 335 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,147 the fucking long game with come over here, bruv. 336 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:35,270 Sam will help you out. Sam will let you fuck him. 337 00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,522 I hate these guys. 338 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,869 - Oi! - Hey! 339 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,041 You went pint for pint last night, son. 340 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,876 - I'm fucking proud of you. - Well done, son, well done. 341 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,669 - I did? - Nope. 342 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,629 Oi, we're leaving, mate. 343 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,673 - Okay. - Yeah, it's too expensive. 344 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,800 We're going to Amsterdam. 345 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,427 - All right. - You want to come? 346 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,388 No. 347 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:13,224 All right. Good times, mate. Good times. Good times. 348 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,060 Yeah, take care of yourself, son. 349 00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,480 Okay. 350 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,199 Scusa. 351 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,205 Scusa? 352 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,666 Um, buongiorno. 353 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,837 Buongiorno. 354 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:28,174 Um, English? 355 00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:29,425 A little. 356 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,886 Is this room still available? 357 00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:37,433 - Have you ever work on farm? - No. 358 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,563 - Okay. - Okay? 359 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,609 Come on. 360 00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,244 You see? 361 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,455 Hot and cold. 362 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,082 Got it, thanks. 363 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,252 If not hot... 364 00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:16,097 When cold, we cover up the trees 365 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:20,643 and once a week we gather for the olive press. 366 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,478 The rest, I tell you. 367 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,689 Easy, huh? 368 00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,403 Is that your wife? 369 00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,281 Yes. 370 00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,533 Is she here? 371 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,077 Car accident. 372 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:43,166 I'm very sorry to hear that. 373 00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:53,843 Uh... 374 00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:57,513 women, Jews of the world. 375 00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,058 - Jews? - Jews. 376 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,355 Jews. 377 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,814 Jewels. 378 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,733 Jewels. 379 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,564 Buongiorno. 380 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,316 Hey. 381 00:26:50,484 --> 00:26:52,527 Hey, I just moved here, so I was wondering 382 00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:54,696 if that date might fall into place. 383 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,948 - Do you remember my name? - You never told me. 384 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,866 - Scusa. - You're learning. 385 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,082 And you're not afraid to embarrass yourself, that's good. 386 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,709 I'm Evan. 387 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:11,129 Louise. Did you just... Did you just touch my boob? 388 00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,381 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 389 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,175 - Wow. - All right, one last time 390 00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:18,428 and I'll let you go. Will you go out with me? 391 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,179 I don't know. 392 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,352 That's a huge cock. 393 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,771 It's fertility imagery. 394 00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:32,734 No, that's... that's Roman porn. 395 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,444 Are you an artist? 396 00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:35,778 No, are you? 397 00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,864 No, I was a cook, 398 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,657 now I'm a farmer. 399 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,743 A farmer. 400 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,202 I just started. 401 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,538 That was fast. 402 00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,373 Are you impressed? 403 00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:50,460 No. Don't... don't touch that. 404 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,589 It's hard to make a living in a tourist town. 405 00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:55,923 How do you do it? 406 00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:58,426 I don't. I'm a student. 407 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,345 And how did you end up here? 408 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,430 I'm studying evolutionary genetics. 409 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:05,767 It's easier to isolate genes in a homogeneous population. 410 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,148 Um, I'm researching stuff here 411 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,901 'cause not many people have left or emigrated. 412 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,319 I'm fucking up your job. 413 00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:19,864 Yes, you are. So go back to America, fascist. 414 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,115 Great scam you pulled 415 00:28:21,283 --> 00:28:23,443 having the university pay for you to live here, though. 416 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,245 I know, right? 417 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:29,832 What do you think of her? 418 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,794 She's hot. 419 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,338 You think so? 420 00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:37,507 I need caffeine. 421 00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,646 What... what happened to your hand? 422 00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:55,775 Um, I punched a guy. 423 00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:58,236 Did it hurt? 424 00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:00,154 No. 425 00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:01,697 Yes. 426 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,826 Did you... did you feel better? 427 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,787 I know, I'm a child, I'm immature... 428 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,498 I was just going to say we're all human. 429 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:19,173 My family would vacation here when I was little 430 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:22,677 and I would see these old men sitting here. 431 00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:26,222 Sometimes I wonder if it's the same ones. 432 00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,391 You don't sound Italian. 433 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:34,063 - Are you really from around here? - Not far. I traveled a lot, though. 434 00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:36,399 So I sound weird as fuck. 435 00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:38,192 Did you learn your English in England? 436 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,070 I did. But then I studied in America for a while. 437 00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:42,613 - Where? - New York. 438 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,365 - I've never been there. - You've never been to New York? 439 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:45,653 - Are you kidding me? - Nope. 440 00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,285 I thought all Americans have been to New York. 441 00:29:47,453 --> 00:29:48,953 - I've been to Southern California, - Right. 442 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:52,707 - Mexico, and here. - Oh, Mexico. I love Mexico. 443 00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:54,876 I went there with my ex on a boat. 444 00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,461 What happened? 445 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,421 We had so much Mexican food. 446 00:29:58,589 --> 00:30:01,132 - No, no, with the guy. - Oh. Oh, he was awful. 447 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,384 Oh, he was... he always had to conquer something. 448 00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:05,136 Why did you date him, then? 449 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,389 He wrote me very romantic love letters 450 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:11,893 and he was so much fun to drink wine with. 451 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,020 Let's get a bottle of wine. 452 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,816 Okay, but you have to write me a letter first. 453 00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:22,737 You can write it while I finish my espresso. 454 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:09,075 I'm still jet-lagged. 455 00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:10,368 Flipping my days for nights 456 00:31:10,536 --> 00:31:12,828 is making everything feel like I'm in a dream. 457 00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:14,288 Thanks for the wine. 458 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,791 It's most of my paycheck that I haven't gotten yet, 459 00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,042 but you're worth it. 460 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,461 You shouldn't pay for things. 461 00:31:20,629 --> 00:31:25,383 What if I told you I'm actually a successful businessman 462 00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:28,135 taking a break from all my wealth? 463 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,804 Are you? 464 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:31,514 I'm not. 465 00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:34,517 When I would sit at the bar at the restaurant I worked at, 466 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,728 for every one woman I'd catch combing the place 467 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,647 for a doctor or lawyer, 468 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,192 I'd see like 10 of them with some bum like me. 469 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,778 Did you like being a cook? 470 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,947 No. 471 00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:51,158 - It was fucking horrible. - It can always be worse. 472 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,494 And here you are, trying new stuff. 473 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:56,497 I mean, I could do something really important, still. 474 00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:59,959 - Like invent an app or something. - Or get your own reality show. 475 00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:02,336 - The dream. The dream. - Oh. 476 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:06,382 At least you're living. 477 00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,427 Yeah, I always used to say that, too. 478 00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:11,355 Right now if I really had the choice, though, 479 00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:14,015 I might take professional success over living. 480 00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:15,349 I've worked many jobs 481 00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:18,769 and none of them... none... Have been worth missing life. 482 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:23,399 That's very European and all, but you know... 483 00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:26,861 Know what? 484 00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:30,031 Taking siestas and being less competitive, that's really nice, 485 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:31,991 but your iPhone was not invented in Europe. 486 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,201 Yeah, right. You want to go somewhere? 487 00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,370 - Yeah. - Okay, let's do it. 488 00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:39,540 Um... 489 00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:46,964 Fuck it. 490 00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:54,639 We're going into that cave! 491 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,140 - No. - Yeah! 492 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:58,851 I bet it's haunted by dead sailors. 493 00:32:59,019 --> 00:33:02,271 - I thought you were a scientist. - I am a scientist. 494 00:33:02,439 --> 00:33:05,941 What is this "dead sailor" bullshit ghost story? 495 00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:08,527 I bet you also think names determine personality, right? 496 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,072 - Oh, they do. All Crystals are sluts. - Oh. 497 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:14,909 - Yeah! - Oh. 498 00:33:15,077 --> 00:33:18,788 And... and Evans are nice. 499 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,456 You do like me, then. 500 00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:21,916 Maybe. 501 00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:23,444 I know names don't determine shit. 502 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,169 But there are still lots of mysteries out there. 503 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:27,546 Even I'm a mystery to myself. 504 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:30,049 I wish I could say I wasn't just a simpleminded dude. 505 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:32,259 I understand about half of myself. 506 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,928 - Then you're half magic. - Mmm. 507 00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:35,846 I'm half undiscovered science, 508 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,183 bunch of confusing biochemistry, 509 00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,353 and some crazy hormones. 510 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,733 She drowned a few months ago. 511 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,903 That's horrible. 512 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:53,239 Yeah, the dams up the mountain broke. 513 00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:55,908 Her body was taken out to the sea by the flude. 514 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,619 Flood? 515 00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:01,163 And they found her dead body in Sicily. 516 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,584 You know, I know it's cliché, but all the people 517 00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:09,255 that put that religious stuff up? I mean, why do they think 518 00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,424 God would do that to a little girl like her? 519 00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:21,434 I don't know. Maybe 'cause everybody's gonna die 520 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:23,602 whether they believe in God or not, right? 521 00:34:27,441 --> 00:34:31,986 I have this buddy... um, great guy, always wasted, though. 522 00:34:32,154 --> 00:34:33,779 Not really perceptive. 523 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:36,532 He goes to a party with his girlfriend, 524 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,534 and this other girl, 525 00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:42,413 maybe about four feet tall, walks up to him... 526 00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:46,250 punches him in the face. Knocks him out. 527 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:50,004 Turns out this girl was cheating on him with his girlfriend. 528 00:34:50,172 --> 00:34:51,714 So now everybody knows Tommy was knocked out 529 00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:54,216 by a lesbian named Tiny. 530 00:34:56,219 --> 00:35:01,182 Mm, I love Tiny, but what is your point? 531 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:05,019 Nothing. It's just a funny story. 532 00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,356 No. 533 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,115 In winter, you put dirt here. 534 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,702 In spring, we just take off. 535 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:45,953 Done. 536 00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:59,425 Perfect. 537 00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:02,595 This is... 538 00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:08,142 Got it. 539 00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:15,149 Bene. Perfect. 540 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:16,984 You take out this... 541 00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:20,905 - All of them? - Si. 542 00:37:52,354 --> 00:37:54,188 What's that, kitty? 543 00:37:54,356 --> 00:37:57,149 What's that? What's that? 544 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,103 This... 545 00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:22,276 Fuck, this town is small, huh? 546 00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:25,237 Hi. 547 00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:26,822 Hey. 548 00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,616 You, uh, snuck out last night. 549 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:33,620 - I did? - Yeah. 550 00:39:36,458 --> 00:39:39,043 Mm. And who are you? 551 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,047 Uh, Evan, the guy you slept with last night. 552 00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:47,301 Sorry, I don't recall. 553 00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:57,978 Evan. 554 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,147 Oh, that's fucked up. 555 00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:02,649 - Don't be so emotional. - That's messed up. 556 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:05,110 This is the best place, you should try it. 557 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,247 Man, you eat a lot. 558 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:20,000 I don't care if you call me fat. 559 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,252 I was starting to think you were cooler than pulling this one. 560 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,088 I'm just saying I don't care. 561 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:27,674 If this was the 1700s, you would think I'm too skinny. 562 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,551 You may not believe this, but most men are not attracted 563 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,303 to women who look like preteen boys. 564 00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:32,846 Mm, some are. 565 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:36,141 That's true, but most men just want a girl who's healthy. 566 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,103 Obesity and anorexia, they're equally unattractive. 567 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,438 I think your opinion of men is too high. 568 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,899 No, I know dudes. All we ever think about is sex, 569 00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:45,442 sometimes food, sad truth. 570 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,112 You shouldn't say that out loud. 571 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,155 Hey, do you mind if we go in here? 572 00:40:50,323 --> 00:40:52,116 Sure. 573 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,160 - Do you smoke? - Sometimes. 574 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,538 I smoke more than sometimes. 575 00:40:57,705 --> 00:40:59,498 Then don't. 576 00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:01,208 I don't want to live forever. 577 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:02,751 How about this, you go out with me tomorrow night, 578 00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:04,753 I won't buy any cigarettes. 579 00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,004 What? 580 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,674 Will you go out with me if I quit smoking? 581 00:41:08,842 --> 00:41:10,884 Don't quit for me. 582 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,888 You don't want to go out with me again? 583 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,682 I don't know. 584 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,770 One, uh... una? 585 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,232 Si. Uh, those. 586 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:34,825 Who are these guys? 587 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,285 That's Bob and Sally. 588 00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,580 I rescued them from a lab that was done with them. 589 00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:41,456 Would you like to adopt them? 590 00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,333 - No, I'm good. - Mm. 591 00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:45,419 Are you sure they should be in the same cage? 592 00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:48,338 It's only until I find them a home. 593 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,759 Yeah, but they're gonna fuck like... You're gonna have a billion rabbits. 594 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,638 Do you mind if I put on some music? 595 00:41:56,806 --> 00:41:59,016 Sure, but don't judge me. 596 00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,767 Are you allergic to anything? 597 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,855 Uh, no. These are in a lot of different languages. 598 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:06,565 You said you wouldn't judge. 599 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:09,401 - I'm not, I'm just impressed. - Good. 600 00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:10,969 Do you speak any of these languages? 601 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:14,031 Mm-hmm. Do you like leeks? 602 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,366 Sure. How many do you speak? 603 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:19,036 - Oh, I don't know. - You don't know? 604 00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:23,415 Um... French, German, Italian, 605 00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:27,085 Spanish, a few forms of Arabic, 606 00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:30,839 Japanese, Latin, Greek... 607 00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:33,717 I think that's it. 608 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:38,222 - You don't speak Sumerian? - No, do you? 609 00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:41,642 I don't speak dead languages. 610 00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:44,311 Do you mind? 611 00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:46,271 The ashtray isn't decoration. 612 00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:49,858 That's true. 613 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:59,159 You should quit smoking. 614 00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:01,370 You are a hypocrite. 615 00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:05,999 No, I'm not. 616 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:11,546 Uh, would you mind watching the soup 617 00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:14,424 while I use the restroom? 618 00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,760 Yeah, sure. 619 00:44:06,311 --> 00:44:08,729 - Soup's ready. - Just a second. 620 00:44:10,606 --> 00:44:13,692 Do you ever feel like you have to shower immediately? 621 00:44:13,860 --> 00:44:16,403 Uh, I think that's a girl thing. 622 00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:18,280 Showering is a girl thing? 623 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:20,741 I'm going to the beach on Sunday. 624 00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:23,702 You are waiting to bathe in the sea? 625 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,246 Uh, yup. You want to come? 626 00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:28,123 That's gross. 627 00:44:28,291 --> 00:44:29,916 Seriously, do you want to go with me? 628 00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:33,503 I can't. I'm taking medication that makes my skin sun-sensitive. 629 00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:38,425 So, I only get to see you at night? 630 00:44:38,593 --> 00:44:41,511 You can meet my husband and kids, if you want, 631 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,848 but our nights together must remain a secret. 632 00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:47,851 Mm. Yeah, we'd probably get bored with each other anyway. 633 00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:50,354 Mm. 634 00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:53,774 Not bad. What's in it? 635 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:56,276 Leeks, saffron, and rabbit. 636 00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:00,447 It's just a broth 637 00:45:00,615 --> 00:45:03,825 with a bunch of spices and vegetables. 638 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,161 Oh, Jesus, you're a vegetarian? 639 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:10,248 I try to be, but sometimes I crave meat. 640 00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:26,556 I've got to go to work. 641 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:30,310 Thank you, be safe. Blanket. 642 00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:52,332 - Is this bad? - It's a tree. 643 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,210 - Here. - Why don't you just kill 'em? 644 00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:58,797 They help to make fruit. 645 00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:02,426 They kill the tree so they can pollinate it? 646 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,636 Mother Nature is crazy, Angelo. 647 00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,849 What the hell is that? 648 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:11,893 Tumore della radice. 649 00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:13,770 No capisco. 650 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,772 Rotten roots. 651 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,858 Root rot, huh? 652 00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,697 I've been seeing this Italian girl. 653 00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,991 She's really pretty. 654 00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:28,034 But she acts kind of weird sometimes 655 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:31,079 and I found something that gives me some doubts. 656 00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:33,915 I appreciate the Italian lessons, 657 00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:36,376 really, I do, but, Angelo, I have no idea what the hell you're saying. 658 00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,753 Choose your poison. 659 00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:40,922 That's your advice? 660 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:45,010 Italian women, the best. 661 00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:48,638 That's wonderful advice, Angelo, but have you been anywhere else? 662 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:49,931 In France. 663 00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:52,976 So Italian women, you think they're better than French women? 664 00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,312 I get that. 665 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,440 Your wife was a goddess, Angelo, but I got to tell you 666 00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,526 there's a lot of really beautiful women in the USA. 667 00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,362 Italian women. 668 00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:07,741 You realize in America there are a lot of Italian immigrants, right? 669 00:47:10,203 --> 00:47:14,289 Okay, what now? Is it... do we, like, bury a virgin lamb skull 670 00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:16,374 full of herbs to ward off the infection? 671 00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:17,834 Che cosa? 672 00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:20,170 You know, the whole voodoo biodynamic farming thing? 673 00:47:20,338 --> 00:47:22,964 I worked at a restaurant in college. They told me that Italian farmers... 674 00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,133 That's how they do it. You don't do that? 675 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,887 Fungus killer spray in shed. 676 00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:30,764 Spray? Got it. 677 00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:14,099 - Did you farm again today? - Yes, I did. 678 00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:17,561 It's amazing, you're picking it up so quickly. 679 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,328 I don't make bad jokes about what you do. 680 00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,356 I can imagine it being this really intense apprenticeship 681 00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:24,859 where he shares all of his worldly knowledge as you tend to the land. 682 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,696 No, it's nothing like that. 683 00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:30,282 Um... 684 00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,909 - Hey. - What? 685 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:36,371 Can I ask you something? Don't get mad. 686 00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:38,748 Depends what it is. 687 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,236 This morning I found a used syringe on your bathroom floor. 688 00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:43,712 I know it's none of my business and we just met, but... 689 00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:46,548 Uh, okay, it's not drugs. I have a medical condition 690 00:48:46,716 --> 00:48:50,260 that comes and goes and it's a very long story. 691 00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:53,597 Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even bothered to... 692 00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:57,475 I'm... I didn't think you were a junkie, I just needed to know what it was. 693 00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:00,270 Do you think I gave you AIDS? 694 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,398 - No. - Oh, you did. You thought it! 695 00:49:03,566 --> 00:49:04,858 - No, I didn't. - Hep C? 696 00:49:05,026 --> 00:49:08,236 - That would've been worth it. - Oh, come on, I don't believe you. 697 00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:10,864 Can I do something really corny right now? 698 00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:12,073 Again? 699 00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:13,700 I've been carrying this thing around for a week 700 00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:16,703 and I haven't used it once, but I'd really like a picture with you. 701 00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,038 You haven't called anyone? 702 00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:22,000 Uh, calling card's cheaper and the only person I call is Tommy 703 00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:24,419 and he's always drunk, so... 704 00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,422 What about your family? 705 00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:29,424 Um... 706 00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:31,676 Well, tell me about your family. 707 00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:34,763 Well, they're great. 708 00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:37,057 Scusa. Scusa! 709 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:43,772 - Sure. - Grazie. 710 00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:46,232 - Just one photo, please. - All right. 711 00:49:47,943 --> 00:49:49,277 Okay. 712 00:49:49,445 --> 00:49:52,072 Grazie. 713 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,657 - You moved. - Un altro? 714 00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,284 - No, no. Grazie, no. - Okay. 715 00:49:56,452 --> 00:49:58,453 Ugh. 716 00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:04,626 Tell... tell me about your family. 717 00:50:04,794 --> 00:50:08,630 I really don't want to do that right now. 718 00:50:10,591 --> 00:50:11,966 Come on. 719 00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,846 You're seriously mad because I don't want to talk about something? 720 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,682 You just want to come here, fuck a foreign girl, 721 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,558 and show your stupid friend the picture. 722 00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:22,686 That doesn't make any sense. 723 00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:24,813 And when I ask you something important about you 724 00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,941 and you don't tell me, that means you can't be intimate. 725 00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:29,275 I'm so confused right now. 726 00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:33,113 Look, I went to the fucking beach with you. 727 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,632 I'm sorry. 728 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,926 I think you're overreacting, but I'm sorry. 729 00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,514 And I think you're being annoying, but maybe I was just being crazy. 730 00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,458 Do you want to hear about my family? 731 00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,061 Yes, I do. Yes. 732 00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:06,521 It's a fucked-up story. 733 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:09,190 So we're sleeping together and I'm, like, making you meals, 734 00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:10,598 but you can't tell me anything? 735 00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:12,360 The only family I had was my mom and dad. 736 00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:14,738 My dad died suddenly of a heart attack. 737 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,699 My mom was diagnosed with cancer a few months after that. 738 00:51:17,867 --> 00:51:19,826 I came home from college a couple years ago 739 00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:22,537 to take care of her and she died last week. 740 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:28,168 Wow, I mean, that's horrible. 741 00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,336 No shit. 742 00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:34,215 Not exactly great dinner conversation. 743 00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:36,843 Are you okay? 744 00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:42,640 Do I seem all right? 745 00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:46,644 I like you. 746 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,188 Were you better before? 747 00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:50,648 I think I'm all right. 748 00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:55,278 You've got the same backstory as Batman. 749 00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,239 This is so cool. 750 00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:02,327 Are you mad? 751 00:52:02,495 --> 00:52:05,330 I mean, I've got nothing to avenge if I become a masked vigilante... 752 00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:07,791 Oh, shut up. I mean how sometimes 753 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,044 even if you don't believe in a higher power, you get mad at one. 754 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:17,467 Yeah, I'm mad at something for doing that to them, 755 00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:20,178 making me put my life on hold 756 00:52:20,346 --> 00:52:22,597 while I worked at the same shitty bar 757 00:52:22,765 --> 00:52:25,850 I grew up thinking I never want to end up at. 758 00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:33,608 How do girls know to do that? 759 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,402 What is it you would've done instead? 760 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,740 I don't know. 761 00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:42,283 And I feel... 762 00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:47,205 I feel guilty and selfish for... 763 00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:51,960 Like a sociopath for worrying about what I'm doing for work 764 00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,128 when my whole family just died. 765 00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:58,800 Your professional life is fine. 766 00:52:58,968 --> 00:53:00,969 Do you feel like an orphaned farmer? 767 00:53:02,304 --> 00:53:05,515 No, but I feel like a grown-ass man who misses his parents. 768 00:53:13,065 --> 00:53:15,149 So... 769 00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:19,737 you gonna tell me something now? 770 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:24,284 Like what? 771 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:26,494 I don't know. But I just bared my soul to you. 772 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:29,622 - That was baring your soul? - Fuck off. 773 00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,917 Okay, let's see, mm. 774 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:34,836 Not this one, no. 775 00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:40,675 Um, did you know I have two different color eyes? 776 00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:42,677 What do you mean? 777 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,350 Holy shit. 778 00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:51,019 Why do you wear the contact? 779 00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:55,857 My ex-boyfriend always made fun of it. 780 00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:58,776 - What an asshole. - I'm joking. I'm lying. 781 00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:00,695 No one ever did that. 782 00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:04,073 You probably lie a lot. 783 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:06,784 I've actually never lied to you. 784 00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:10,204 Not once. 785 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:13,374 Your eyes are beautiful. 786 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,878 And you're not very creative. 787 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,223 Hey, Angelo? 788 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:33,061 Si? 789 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,484 Never seen a tree that has two different fruits on it. 790 00:54:39,652 --> 00:54:41,527 Lorange tree. 791 00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:45,031 Got lemons and oranges, so I call it a lorange tree. 792 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,533 Or are those limes? 793 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:53,373 You get it, loranges? 794 00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:56,626 That's it? 795 00:54:56,794 --> 00:55:00,588 Old tree uses new tree. 796 00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:02,215 The fruit looks good. 797 00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:03,883 Oh, yes. 798 00:55:06,804 --> 00:55:09,263 - Vulcano. - Volcano? 799 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:12,809 Yes, volcano make good soil. 800 00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:15,478 - Is it active? - Ha! 801 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,922 Shit. 802 00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:25,381 Good job, Bob. 803 00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:31,679 Sorry, Sally. 804 00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:30,923 Come in. 805 00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:32,341 Hey. 806 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,552 Long, bad day. 807 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:35,970 Let's stay in. 808 00:58:36,138 --> 00:58:37,471 - Really? - Yeah. 809 00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:40,600 Sorry I'm being really boring. 810 00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:43,436 - You feel all right? - I think so. 811 00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:44,979 Do I look all right? 812 00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:46,480 You look beautiful. 813 00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:50,359 I might be sick. You may not want to get too close. 814 00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,157 What are you doing? 815 00:58:56,325 --> 00:58:59,243 Lift up your head. 816 00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:03,831 I read that this is what you do when a girl gets sick. 817 00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:05,833 You don't have to. 818 00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:08,711 Anything to eat? 819 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:12,381 There are some oranges and yogurt in the fridge. 820 00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:15,426 Here, find something for us to watch. 821 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,180 What happened to Bob and Sally? 822 00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:21,390 I don't want to talk about it. 823 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,191 You want some? 824 00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:32,860 Thanks. 825 00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,154 My friend Tommy said he was born with a tail. 826 00:59:35,322 --> 00:59:38,699 I doubt your friend Tommy is one of the 23 cases ever. 827 00:59:38,867 --> 00:59:40,243 - No, he totally is. - Mm, yeah. 828 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,703 We have lots of things we don't use anymore. 829 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,456 I'm pretty sure they sell this at Urban Ourfitters. 830 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:48,793 It's oversimplified and misleading, but I like the pictures. 831 00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:50,753 Want some water? 832 00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,838 Vino. 833 00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:54,840 - Vino? - Wine. 834 00:59:55,008 --> 00:59:56,425 I know. 835 01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:02,390 Thank you. 836 01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:13,067 Di piu? How much more? 837 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,236 Basta finito. 838 01:00:15,404 --> 01:00:18,406 - For the day? - Si. 839 01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,116 Well, let's go fishing or something. 840 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:22,451 No. Sono stanco. 841 01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:23,911 Come on, man. 842 01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,163 My girlfriend's at work, I got nothing to do. 843 01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,418 Look, if you're stanco, let me drive these down. 844 01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:33,587 Have fun. 845 01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:23,637 Whoo! Touchdown, Epsilon, 846 01:01:23,805 --> 01:01:27,141 Lamda, Omega! Run! Run, run, Pledge! 847 01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,894 Run faster, faggot! 848 01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:32,980 Oh, oh, fuck you! 849 01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:35,483 Oh, oh, oh! 850 01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,698 ♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪ 851 01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:45,785 ♪ My gigantic cock? ♪ 852 01:02:34,251 --> 01:02:35,835 Oh. Hi. 853 01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:37,711 Oh, my God. 854 01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:39,713 - What are you doing here? - Walking home from work. 855 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,382 What are you doing here? 856 01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:43,426 Um, here. 857 01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:45,886 We're buying gifts now? 858 01:02:46,054 --> 01:02:49,557 It has Roman porn in it. Remember? 859 01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,058 You didn't sign it, though. 860 01:03:07,742 --> 01:03:10,911 Hmm. 861 01:03:11,079 --> 01:03:13,539 There are so many more tourists here than usual. 862 01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,499 This is the beginning. 863 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,919 Late spring is a madhouse. 864 01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:22,442 - You want to go somewhere? - Let's go. 865 01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:26,510 Okay, but you can't tell anyone. It's a secret. 866 01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:29,555 Not Tommy, no girls. 867 01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:32,183 - Anywhere away from tourists. - You're a tourist. 868 01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:34,435 We have to get my boat. Come on. 869 01:03:34,603 --> 01:03:36,604 You have a boat? 870 01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,610 - Come on, faster, Evan! Faster! - Can you swim if we sink? 871 01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:44,653 The lady gorilla won't sink. 872 01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,489 Seriously, can you swim? 873 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,282 Okay, so we're very close. 874 01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,118 So paddle us as fast as you can, then get down. 875 01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:52,745 All right, have you done this before? 876 01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,672 This looks like magic. 877 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,801 Looks like stuff from nature we haven't figured out yet. 878 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:09,762 Well, what makes this? 879 01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,931 The glow? It's from refracted sunlight 880 01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:15,100 coming through a big hole underwater. 881 01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:16,644 How did you find it? 882 01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,604 My friend showed it to me. 883 01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:23,442 There are some others the tours go to, but this one is a secret. 884 01:04:25,237 --> 01:04:29,657 Some of the Roman statues from the exhibit were found over there. 885 01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:40,000 Hormones and biochemistry. 886 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:43,837 Moment ruined and I think we're taking on water. 887 01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,173 Stop talking shit about my boat, Evan. 888 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:08,028 Can I ask you something awkward now? 889 01:05:08,196 --> 01:05:09,863 No. 890 01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:14,076 Do you ever change your clothes? 891 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,537 - Yes! - Really? 892 01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:18,914 All I brought is my backpack and the only things they sell here 893 01:05:19,082 --> 01:05:20,583 are, like, "I heart Bologna" shirts. 894 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,294 Octopussy! 895 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:26,297 - We are not all like that. - Octopussy. 896 01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:28,007 You girls old enough to drink? 897 01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:31,093 You know where we can get some beer? 898 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,886 Uh, Evan, are you still hungry? 899 01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,179 No, I'm good. 900 01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:36,547 'Cause you know, the clinic opens really early tomorrow. 901 01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:38,684 - Yeah, I have work tomorrow, too. - I've got to go to bed. 902 01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:40,853 - Don't pay for me. - No, you did all the rowing. 903 01:05:41,021 --> 01:05:44,148 But thanks for a wonderful time. 904 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:18,974 What up? 905 01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:22,728 Hey, I have weed in my hotel room. 906 01:06:26,483 --> 01:06:29,610 I don't speak French. 907 01:06:29,778 --> 01:06:31,820 Uh... 908 01:06:31,988 --> 01:06:35,074 how much to suck my dick? 909 01:06:40,455 --> 01:06:42,956 Shh, shh. 910 01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:47,795 What the...? 911 01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,382 Football bad? 912 01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:35,008 Si. 913 01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:36,593 Where are you off to all dapper? 914 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,220 Chiesa. Come. 915 01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:56,405 Grazie. 916 01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:07,458 Your Italian is going better. 917 01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:11,211 Yeah, I'm trying. 918 01:08:11,379 --> 01:08:14,089 Are there any single donne at church? 919 01:08:14,257 --> 01:08:16,425 Si. 920 01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,552 You should ask one out. 921 01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:24,475 - I can't. - Yeah, you can. 922 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,435 My wife. 923 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:32,983 Oh, well... 924 01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:35,736 if you ever feel ready, then you should. 925 01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,285 - Hey. - Hey. 926 01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,912 Something wrong? 927 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,623 No, it's... 928 01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:32,417 - Can I come in? - No, it's not a good time right now. 929 01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:37,923 Um, well, I mean if you really have to. 930 01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:53,522 Um, I didn't sleep at all last night, 931 01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:57,150 so forgive me if I stumble through this. 932 01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:59,778 I don't even know how much you need me to tell you this, 933 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,197 because it's been barely a week, 934 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:05,993 but things got intense so fast and... 935 01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:10,038 Tell me what? 936 01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:13,166 We can't see each other anymore. 937 01:10:15,587 --> 01:10:18,255 - Are you serious? - Yes. 938 01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,008 I don't think you're ready for where this is going 939 01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:22,935 and I have some things I need to work through 940 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,845 without being in a relationship. 941 01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:26,805 And, Evan, I'm... 942 01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:30,475 I'm really, really sorry for leading you on like this. 943 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:34,271 I can see how you could feel like this has... 944 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,982 This has all been going so fast. 945 01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,110 Like, if you're freaked out and you need some space, that's fine. 946 01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,195 Evan, you've been through a lot recently 947 01:10:42,363 --> 01:10:45,699 and maybe you're not thinking clearly, but... 948 01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:50,662 I'm fine. 949 01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:53,707 - What's your problem? - No, I... 950 01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:58,211 I'd really rather not explain what's the problem. 951 01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:02,257 Um, again, I can't tell you how sorry I am 952 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,677 and that you're a wonderful guy, but... 953 01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:09,765 What happened to intimacy being talking about stuff? 954 01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:15,145 That's it? So I leave here 955 01:11:15,313 --> 01:11:18,690 and it's like you and I never happened? 956 01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:21,568 We never see each other again? 957 01:11:27,784 --> 01:11:29,034 Okay. 958 01:11:37,418 --> 01:11:39,002 I want you to know something... 959 01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:42,381 Take it or leave it... 960 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,466 I think you could be the love of my life, 961 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:47,844 and I know that sounds stupid, it's only been five days. 962 01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,097 But it's true. 963 01:11:50,264 --> 01:11:53,100 If you don't feel anything for me and that's what this is really about, 964 01:11:53,267 --> 01:11:55,060 then I wish you the best with everything in your life 965 01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:58,271 'cause I think you're an amazing person. 966 01:11:58,439 --> 01:12:01,024 But if you do feel something, 967 01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:04,236 I think you should think about this a little bit longer. 968 01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:13,954 All right. 969 01:12:42,608 --> 01:12:43,900 I'm taking off, Angelo. 970 01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:50,449 Uh, donne problema. 971 01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:53,285 Oh, I didn't hit her. 972 01:12:53,453 --> 01:12:57,164 I hit a wall 'cause she broke up with me. 973 01:12:57,331 --> 01:12:59,166 Stupido. 974 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:02,961 "Donna Italiana," right? 975 01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:05,088 Ciao. 976 01:13:08,634 --> 01:13:10,385 Hey, Angelo? 977 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,015 I wanted to say thank you. 978 01:13:15,183 --> 01:13:17,017 Uh, even with all this, I'm living the fantasy 979 01:13:17,185 --> 01:13:19,352 of some rich American housewife. 980 01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:24,357 I don't know how much longer I'm gonna stay here, 981 01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:27,152 but I want you to know that I appreciate all this. 982 01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,825 Policia? 983 01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,161 Immigrazione. 984 01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:38,538 Immigration? Do I need to worry? 985 01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:40,916 - Si. - Should I run? 986 01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:42,709 Si. 987 01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:18,245 So back in the US, the cops are after me. 988 01:14:18,412 --> 01:14:21,039 Before that, I lost my job 989 01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:24,543 and lost my... my parents. 990 01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:29,714 Here, I lost my job, 991 01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:34,302 lost my girlfriend, and the cops are after me. 992 01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:15,779 Can you start... 993 01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:18,406 Can you start the shower, please? 994 01:16:42,265 --> 01:16:43,848 Are you a vampire, werewolf, 995 01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:47,394 zombie, witch, or alien? 996 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:50,063 Human. 997 01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:54,734 Are you scared of me? 998 01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:58,113 Yeah, 999 01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,866 but explain it to me. 1000 01:17:05,413 --> 01:17:08,081 Sorry, I... 1001 01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:12,419 Evan. 1002 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,421 Calm... 1003 01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,715 Fuck. 1004 01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,223 Evan, that is me. 1005 01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:28,685 No, it's not. 1006 01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:30,145 It is. 1007 01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,440 I posed for that painting almost 2,000 years ago. 1008 01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,776 Ha! This is the crazy I can't handle. 1009 01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:40,613 My eyes are like this because of hereditary heterochromia. 1010 01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:41,990 Do you know what that means? 1011 01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,478 I don't know. You, like, give it to your kids or something? 1012 01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:47,579 Correct, but I've been giving it to myself. 1013 01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,664 There are things I have found out in the last two decades 1014 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:52,709 that I don't understand entirely and you may find them upsetting. 1015 01:17:52,877 --> 01:17:54,294 You're trying not to upset me? 1016 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:56,963 You dumped me and became a monster. 1017 01:17:57,131 --> 01:17:59,007 Okay, you win one argument. 1018 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:03,094 Um, do you know what embryonic stem cells are? 1019 01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:05,388 Cure stuff. You abort babies to get 'em. 1020 01:18:05,556 --> 01:18:07,932 Not necessarily, but you kind of get the idea. 1021 01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,393 They replicate for a long time and can be used to heal 1022 01:18:10,561 --> 01:18:12,145 - or maintain your whole body. - So that's what you are? 1023 01:18:12,313 --> 01:18:14,022 You're like "Newsweek" fountain of youth cells or something? 1024 01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:15,940 Sure, so my body uses the cells 1025 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:19,611 so I stay the same age and heal very fast. 1026 01:18:19,779 --> 01:18:22,489 But... embryonic cells? 1027 01:18:22,656 --> 01:18:24,949 Are you fucking pregnant? 1028 01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:27,911 Fuck! 1029 01:18:28,079 --> 01:18:29,996 I conceive and about a week later 1030 01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:32,999 I'm a healthy 20-year-old with 50% new DNA. 1031 01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:37,670 I stay the same age for about 20 years and then I need new cells. 1032 01:18:37,838 --> 01:18:39,198 And you dumped me once you got 'em. 1033 01:18:39,256 --> 01:18:41,383 You wouldn't have recognized me anyway. 1034 01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:45,595 I'll have to start a new life. I always do, every 20 years. 1035 01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:48,431 Why tonight? Why even get to know me? 1036 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:49,974 I didn't want to hurt you. 1037 01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,852 - Ha! - God damn it, I mean physically. 1038 01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,480 Before my body uses the cells, it goes crazy. 1039 01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:58,358 I rot, I turn into creatures from our evolutionary past, 1040 01:18:58,526 --> 01:19:01,444 - I fucking kill stuff! - Fuck! 1041 01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:06,032 - Hey, we both have tempers, huh? - Yeah, but mine's worse. 1042 01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:09,160 And something is off. And I thought I could control it, but... 1043 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,038 fuck, I got... 1044 01:19:12,206 --> 01:19:15,041 I got desperate and I tried occult books and... 1045 01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,335 - Occult books? - I ate my rabbit. 1046 01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:20,046 - What? - Okay, it's not magic, okay? 1047 01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:24,384 There's adult stem cells in cat brains and rabbit intestines, testicles. 1048 01:19:24,552 --> 01:19:25,885 Well, use those! 1049 01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,264 I do, but they aren't as effective. 1050 01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:33,143 Okay, well, whatever I saw on your living room floor, 1051 01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:35,687 that was not the physical laws of the universe. 1052 01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:37,313 - Okay, just... - I need a second. 1053 01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,399 Look, just because you haven't seen something before, Evan, 1054 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,734 doesn't mean it's supernatural. 1055 01:19:41,902 --> 01:19:43,653 Evan. 1056 01:19:43,821 --> 01:19:45,113 Can you please stop walking away? 1057 01:19:45,281 --> 01:19:47,532 - Please? - Give me a minute. 1058 01:20:31,619 --> 01:20:33,953 - Hello? - Hello? Tommy! 1059 01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:35,413 - Yeah? - Hey, it's Evan! 1060 01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,081 - Ev! - What's up, man? 1061 01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:41,085 - How you doin', brother? - I'm good, I'm good. 1062 01:20:41,253 --> 01:20:44,214 - Yeah, I met a girl. - What? Is she fucking hot? 1063 01:20:44,381 --> 01:20:48,134 Yeah, she's... she's really hot, yeah. 1064 01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,804 - Um, do you have a sec? - Uh, sure, man. 1065 01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:53,306 What's up? 1066 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:57,185 I got this girl or, uh, maybe monster pregnant 1067 01:20:57,353 --> 01:20:58,978 and I don't know if she's gonna, like, 1068 01:20:59,146 --> 01:21:00,980 - give birth to herself or... - What? 1069 01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,192 - Hello? Tommy? Tommy? - Hello? Ev? 1070 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,653 Ev, dude, I just smoked a huge fucking bowl... 1071 01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,696 - Smoked a huge bowl? - Yeah, man. 1072 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,824 - Like, right before you called. - Gotcha. 1073 01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:13,712 Yeah, right before I got on the phone? Okay. 1074 01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:15,328 Yeah. 1075 01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:19,332 Um, no, no. No problem, man, no problem at all. 1076 01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:22,126 Just, uh, I'll call you back another time. 1077 01:21:22,294 --> 01:21:23,711 Call me back, man. Have a good time out there. 1078 01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:26,506 Yeah. Yup, enjoy. 1079 01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,702 I know it's complicated, obviously, 1080 01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,414 but let's talk about this. 1081 01:22:44,668 --> 01:22:48,338 That's me. 1082 01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:50,757 It's something chemical. 1083 01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:53,426 Pheromones. 1084 01:22:53,594 --> 01:22:55,470 If I do this to a plant, you have to wonder what it is 1085 01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:57,388 you're actually feeling. 1086 01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,435 I've seen what happens to you. 1087 01:23:02,603 --> 01:23:06,606 I mean, I've seen this at its worst, right? 1088 01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,441 And I can deal with that part. 1089 01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:12,445 No. You want to be with someone that is basically going to be related 1090 01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:15,740 to you and when you're 85 you'll look like an inbred pedophile? 1091 01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:18,743 - Yes, probably. - No. 1092 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,471 In a day I'll be someone else and, Evan, 1093 01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:23,289 you should get far to keep all your stuff attached. 1094 01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:26,626 Let's use the time we have. 1095 01:23:26,794 --> 01:23:29,337 Why? Why? 1096 01:23:29,505 --> 01:23:30,963 For just a little while longer, 1097 01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:34,133 I'm a normal guy, you're a normal girl. 1098 01:23:34,301 --> 01:23:35,843 We're here. 1099 01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:39,305 I'd regret it if we didn't take this to its end. 1100 01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:43,434 Evan, you know that I'm not in love with you, right? 1101 01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,651 You like being with me. 1102 01:23:51,819 --> 01:23:53,861 You like the sex and all that? 1103 01:23:56,824 --> 01:23:59,033 You smell good. 1104 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,536 And you're funny, 1105 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,664 and I like the closeness. 1106 01:24:04,832 --> 01:24:07,583 Great. 1107 01:24:07,751 --> 01:24:10,002 So... 1108 01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:14,590 how different is your personality gonna be when you use my cells? 1109 01:24:14,758 --> 01:24:17,593 Well, with your impulsiveness and some other personality stuff, 1110 01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:19,220 about half of you. 1111 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,681 Keep my memories, that's nice. 1112 01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:25,435 When you realize that you're madly in love with me. 1113 01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,186 That's the only way this goes down? 1114 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:29,605 To live forever, yes. 1115 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,108 What about not forever? 1116 01:24:32,276 --> 01:24:36,028 Evan, I really think you're great, but I'm not giving up eternity 1117 01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:37,613 - for a guy I just met a week ago. - I know. 1118 01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:41,951 I don't mean to sound like a selfish dick, but is there a way? 1119 01:24:42,119 --> 01:24:45,288 My adult stem cells, but they're weak and they would give me one life. 1120 01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,875 So you'd be choosing death? 1121 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:51,627 I don't choose. 1122 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:54,630 - What? - Nothing, nothing. 1123 01:24:54,798 --> 01:24:58,426 Seven days from getting pregnant, my body metabolizes the cells 1124 01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:00,887 and that's in about a day. 1125 01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:08,102 So spend it with me on a road trip. 1126 01:25:08,270 --> 01:25:09,562 No. 1127 01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:13,524 The transformations are getting way worse and I can't control them. 1128 01:25:13,692 --> 01:25:17,570 Come on, 24-hour road trip, or until you love me. 1129 01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,822 Evan, maybe we should just rip the Band-Aid off 1130 01:25:19,990 --> 01:25:24,410 before a fucking scaly appendage rips off your... head. 1131 01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:26,496 You know, you get until Earth dies, 1132 01:25:26,663 --> 01:25:28,998 I get one more day with you. 1133 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,209 - Shit. - What? 1134 01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:32,976 Immigration. They came to the farm today. 1135 01:25:33,128 --> 01:25:35,421 - Fuck, we should get out of here. - Why? 1136 01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,965 - Um, Italian jail. - What? 1137 01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,133 Yes, they throw in illegal immigrants all the time. 1138 01:25:40,260 --> 01:25:41,969 Dude, they're gonna rape you. 1139 01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:49,227 Anybody ever driven off the cliff? 1140 01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:51,395 Uh, I did once. 1141 01:25:51,563 --> 01:25:54,273 Years ago. 1142 01:25:54,441 --> 01:25:56,609 You're not driving. 1143 01:26:03,617 --> 01:26:06,327 All right, where's our first hideout? 1144 01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,912 Naples! 1145 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,956 What's in Naples? 1146 01:26:10,123 --> 01:26:14,335 Good restaurants and stores for you to buy some clothes. 1147 01:26:15,629 --> 01:26:17,213 You never told me you had a car. 1148 01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:20,007 It never came up. 1149 01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:21,843 Pull over. 1150 01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:23,386 What else do you have? 1151 01:26:23,554 --> 01:26:25,847 You've seen my boat. 1152 01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:30,434 Come on, in 2,000 years you must've invested in something. 1153 01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:33,813 Okay, I have an apartment in Rome. 1154 01:26:33,981 --> 01:26:36,190 In Paris. 1155 01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:38,276 In Bali. 1156 01:26:38,443 --> 01:26:40,653 So you're slummin' it with me right now? 1157 01:26:40,821 --> 01:26:42,989 It actually is a fucking nightmare. 1158 01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:46,200 I have to constantly come up with new federal ID numbers, 1159 01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:50,288 will stuff to myself... it's a nightmare. 1160 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,874 - Right. - Right. 1161 01:26:53,041 --> 01:26:55,209 What's your original name? 1162 01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:59,130 Uh, uh, I don't remember. 1163 01:26:59,298 --> 01:27:01,007 Really? 1164 01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:03,926 Well, do you remember the address of your childhood home? 1165 01:27:04,094 --> 01:27:06,345 Yes, I do. 1166 01:27:06,513 --> 01:27:08,180 Fuck! Oh, fuck! Evan! 1167 01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:09,724 The olive farmer police! 1168 01:27:09,892 --> 01:27:11,309 Just get down, they won't see you. 1169 01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:12,810 - No! - Just get down. 1170 01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:14,770 Hold on. Hold on. 1171 01:27:17,274 --> 01:27:19,483 Are they gone? 1172 01:27:19,651 --> 01:27:22,820 Yeah. That was very European. 1173 01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,334 This is some hipster shit. 1174 01:27:38,795 --> 01:27:41,464 We should get back on the road. 1175 01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,717 What do you like more, pool or the ocean? 1176 01:27:44,885 --> 01:27:47,553 Um, ocean. 1177 01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:49,722 No sharks in pools, that's nice, 1178 01:27:49,890 --> 01:27:53,225 but the ocean goes on and on and on. 1179 01:27:53,393 --> 01:27:54,852 It's mysterious. 1180 01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,562 Put your feet in the ocean, then. 1181 01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:59,565 No, no, this pool has enough mystery. 1182 01:27:59,733 --> 01:28:03,194 I mean, it doesn't make any sense, but it's nice. 1183 01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:05,321 Like you. 1184 01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,240 - I don't make any sense? - No, not really. 1185 01:28:12,079 --> 01:28:15,206 Why go on the run with me, then? 1186 01:28:15,374 --> 01:28:19,710 First time we sat down and talked, it was easy. 1187 01:28:19,878 --> 01:28:22,546 And then it stayed easy. 1188 01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,423 And that's it? 1189 01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:27,551 You had a profound moment I missed? 1190 01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:33,099 First time we had sex. 1191 01:28:33,266 --> 01:28:34,600 Really? 1192 01:28:36,061 --> 01:28:37,853 Yeah. 1193 01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:40,815 No, I mean, really, like, you knew then 1194 01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:43,943 you wanted graves next to each other? 1195 01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:47,947 No, I mean I... there wasn't a moment when I knew. 1196 01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:51,325 But I do know. 1197 01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:57,456 I'm just saying if I felt we should share all of our time together... 1198 01:28:57,624 --> 01:29:00,084 And I'm not saying I do... 1199 01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:04,463 It's not because of something that could be expressed. 1200 01:29:04,631 --> 01:29:08,300 And also, like, you saw me all fucked up and you're still here. 1201 01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:12,513 Oh. 1202 01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:15,224 I guess... 1203 01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:19,729 your place is clean. I like that. 1204 01:29:19,896 --> 01:29:22,982 And your voice, your voice keeps me around. 1205 01:29:32,701 --> 01:29:34,243 What? 1206 01:29:36,163 --> 01:29:38,539 Welcome to Naples! 1207 01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:41,959 - Benvenuto! - Are we looking for crack? 1208 01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,254 We're on the run. No police ever come here. 1209 01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:47,339 You're trying to get me killed. 1210 01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:49,175 - Hashish? - How much? 1211 01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:51,135 - No, grazie, grazie. Grazie. - 20? 1212 01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:53,512 - Can you change 50? - Don't even make eye contact. 1213 01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:56,348 Are you kidding me? 1214 01:29:56,516 --> 01:29:58,517 Do you have a lighter? 1215 01:30:00,353 --> 01:30:02,688 That's terrible. 1216 01:30:02,856 --> 01:30:05,191 We should buy you some clothes now. 1217 01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,194 - Why do you hate my shirt? - You don't listen. 1218 01:30:08,361 --> 01:30:10,488 - Oh, I listen. - No, you still don't. 1219 01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:12,198 Oh, I listen. 1220 01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:13,783 Uh, let's see, I got you pregnant. 1221 01:30:13,950 --> 01:30:16,410 You can use those embryo cells to heal fast and live forever. 1222 01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:18,098 When you do that, you physically become 1223 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:19,789 half the man who got you pregnant. 1224 01:30:19,956 --> 01:30:22,556 Um, when you are pregnant, you turn into a cross between creatures 1225 01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:24,293 from our evolutionary past and a corpse. 1226 01:30:24,461 --> 01:30:26,212 You could choose to use your adult cells, 1227 01:30:26,379 --> 01:30:27,838 but then you'd die someday, so... 1228 01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,715 You know, honey, 1229 01:30:29,883 --> 01:30:33,094 just because you listen to a few things doesn't make you Oprah. 1230 01:30:33,261 --> 01:30:35,012 - It does. - No, it doesn't. 1231 01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:38,766 I find it amazing that I even understood half of what you said. 1232 01:30:40,936 --> 01:30:43,562 I've actually never been in a church. 1233 01:30:43,730 --> 01:30:45,898 Well, let's go in that one. 1234 01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:47,775 - You wouldn't be bored? - No, no. 1235 01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:50,861 I haven't been to that one since the grand opening. 1236 01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:57,660 So do you know anything about all this? 1237 01:30:57,828 --> 01:31:00,412 I've always been a student of science, 1238 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:03,457 but it's pretty and I like the rituals. 1239 01:31:03,625 --> 01:31:06,836 No, I mean do you know anything about, like...? 1240 01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:11,090 No. The gods change so much, I can't keep up. 1241 01:31:11,258 --> 01:31:13,551 Hmm. 1242 01:31:13,718 --> 01:31:17,221 All this time and all the things you haven't been able to explain. 1243 01:31:17,389 --> 01:31:20,891 Just seems like you'd know more or something. 1244 01:31:21,059 --> 01:31:24,395 Just because I can't explain something about myself right now 1245 01:31:24,563 --> 01:31:26,814 doesn't mean it's metaphysical. 1246 01:31:26,982 --> 01:31:28,774 It means science can't explain it yet. 1247 01:31:28,942 --> 01:31:30,860 Hmm. 1248 01:31:31,027 --> 01:31:33,737 You looked like a ghost in that picture at the restaurant. 1249 01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,489 You just saw me look like stuff 1250 01:31:35,657 --> 01:31:38,325 from stories you've read or saw, that's it. 1251 01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:43,956 Guess giant squid were myths until one washed up on a beach. 1252 01:31:44,124 --> 01:31:46,417 People used to think people with rabies 1253 01:31:46,585 --> 01:31:48,544 and porphyria were vampires, 1254 01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:51,088 but that doesn't mean vampires are real. 1255 01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:53,966 It means science hadn't caught up with the myth. 1256 01:31:54,134 --> 01:31:57,636 And even if I knew I'm supernatural, it doesn't prove anything about... 1257 01:32:00,891 --> 01:32:04,435 Fear of the unknown makes a lot of really pretty stuff, though. 1258 01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:12,610 Um, Louise, did you bring your shots? 1259 01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:14,278 Yeah, there's one in my purse. 1260 01:32:14,446 --> 01:32:17,448 - You should use it. - Why, do you see something? 1261 01:32:17,616 --> 01:32:19,617 Yeah, a little something. 1262 01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:21,118 Just do it here. 1263 01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:23,954 - Don't get up. - Okay. 1264 01:32:24,122 --> 01:32:28,250 So, this time in Prussia, 1760-something, 1265 01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:30,085 so I'm walking through the cemetery 1266 01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:31,754 and they're digging up corpses, 1267 01:32:31,922 --> 01:32:35,132 and the corpses would move from escaping gases and whatnot. 1268 01:32:35,300 --> 01:32:37,500 - And so they're, like, staking... - Hey, hey, hey, shh. 1269 01:32:37,636 --> 01:32:39,637 ...dead people, calling them vampires. 1270 01:32:39,804 --> 01:32:41,972 Nerve-wracking. So I left there. 1271 01:32:42,140 --> 01:32:45,643 I'm in the New World and women were hung for being witches 1272 01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:47,811 for, like, a lot less than my quirks. 1273 01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:50,439 One colonial guy said I was aging well. 1274 01:32:50,607 --> 01:32:53,234 No joke, I was on the first ship back to England. 1275 01:32:53,401 --> 01:32:57,529 So, then I'm in France and they were, like, burning women 1276 01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,198 at the stake for having a moody day. 1277 01:32:59,366 --> 01:33:02,368 So I catch a train to Germany in the 1930s, and, I mean, we all know 1278 01:33:02,535 --> 01:33:04,620 - what happened there, right? - Hey, Louise? 1279 01:33:04,788 --> 01:33:07,665 Do you want to show me... What's your favorite museum here? 1280 01:33:07,832 --> 01:33:10,000 - We should go check it out. - Oh, okay. 1281 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,504 - Can we get some pizza first? - Of course, yeah. 1282 01:33:20,387 --> 01:33:23,639 Really pouring on the melodrama in this one. 1283 01:33:23,807 --> 01:33:26,600 You look so different. 1284 01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:31,855 Oh, yeah, my boyfriend before was a very unattractive Ottoman. 1285 01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:34,441 How many men are you a mix of? 1286 01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:35,859 You don't want to know. 1287 01:33:36,027 --> 01:33:38,320 I don't? 1288 01:33:38,488 --> 01:33:40,364 Are you jealous, Evan? 1289 01:33:40,532 --> 01:33:41,699 No, but if every... 1290 01:33:41,866 --> 01:33:43,367 You're 2,000 years old... If every 20 years... 1291 01:33:43,535 --> 01:33:47,204 Do you have a problem with how many men I slept with and my age? 1292 01:33:47,372 --> 01:33:51,041 Okay, just in the fresco in the book I gave you. 1293 01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:53,877 None. I'm actually 22 years old in that painting. 1294 01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:55,879 You're a virgin in that painting? 1295 01:33:56,047 --> 01:33:59,216 Yes. Does that make you happy? 1296 01:34:03,930 --> 01:34:07,016 So you really hated being martyred, huh? 1297 01:34:07,183 --> 01:34:09,852 I was just a peasant posing for the scene. 1298 01:34:10,020 --> 01:34:12,021 After the Black Plague, I think I was just happy 1299 01:34:12,188 --> 01:34:13,731 I wasn't scrubbing bodily fluids. 1300 01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:15,733 I have just one question. 1301 01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:20,529 Who the fuck is this guy? 1302 01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:22,906 Where do you think I got these fingers from? 1303 01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:25,993 You're still really pretty as an Ottoman peasant. 1304 01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:29,496 Look at... look at this guy. He's like... 1305 01:34:29,664 --> 01:34:32,750 "Stop! Stop hitting me!" 1306 01:34:35,086 --> 01:34:38,297 I wanted to show you something even older than me. 1307 01:34:39,591 --> 01:34:41,050 I saw this on The Learning Channel. 1308 01:34:41,217 --> 01:34:45,346 It was a bomb shelter during World War II. 1309 01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:49,308 Yeah, mention World War II and every American becomes a historian. 1310 01:34:49,476 --> 01:34:52,686 Oh, do they? Well, we watch movies. 1311 01:34:52,854 --> 01:34:55,022 Lots of them. 1312 01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:02,613 So, um, what happens when... When this goes down? 1313 01:35:02,781 --> 01:35:05,449 This body dies 1314 01:35:05,617 --> 01:35:07,618 and the cells recreate a new one. 1315 01:35:09,204 --> 01:35:11,330 And what if you use your adult cells? 1316 01:35:11,498 --> 01:35:13,791 Then... 1317 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:17,628 Then I'd look exactly the same, just pregnant, 1318 01:35:17,796 --> 01:35:20,089 and that would be horrifying. 1319 01:35:20,256 --> 01:35:21,965 How much time do you have left? 1320 01:35:22,133 --> 01:35:25,969 Until the equinox. Sunrise, probably. 1321 01:35:26,137 --> 01:35:28,347 Your body knows when winter ends? 1322 01:35:28,515 --> 01:35:30,435 When I was little, time was measured differently, 1323 01:35:30,475 --> 01:35:33,727 so all that bullshit with sun gods and whatever, it never... 1324 01:35:33,895 --> 01:35:37,940 Cool, well, if you stay with me... 1325 01:35:39,484 --> 01:35:42,486 I'll give something up, too. 1326 01:35:42,654 --> 01:35:44,530 Smoking. 1327 01:35:47,325 --> 01:35:49,410 We'll both end up like these guys. 1328 01:35:49,577 --> 01:35:53,288 Yeah, in, like, 50 years! Come on! 1329 01:35:53,456 --> 01:35:57,000 So you would be giving up life to become a father? 1330 01:35:57,168 --> 01:36:00,379 I'm an illegal immigrant olive farmer. New frontiers. 1331 01:36:00,547 --> 01:36:03,173 So you want to spend the rest of your life with me? 1332 01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:06,969 Yeah. 1333 01:36:07,137 --> 01:36:10,347 I think you're rushing dating 1334 01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:12,766 and death and fatherhood. 1335 01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:17,354 Well, how do you choose to use your adult cells? 1336 01:36:17,522 --> 01:36:20,357 - Or your embryonic... - Oh, wow, look at this guy! 1337 01:36:20,525 --> 01:36:22,943 Whoo! 1338 01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:25,112 How do you choose? 1339 01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:29,867 I don't. 1340 01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:32,744 My... my body chooses. 1341 01:36:32,912 --> 01:36:34,621 Well, how does your body choose? 1342 01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:39,418 Oxytocin. 1343 01:36:39,586 --> 01:36:41,837 I'm totally lost again. 1344 01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:48,635 It's the hormone that makes women fall in love and get maternal. 1345 01:36:48,803 --> 01:36:51,096 And if it were high enough, 1346 01:36:51,264 --> 01:36:54,558 survival reaction blocks the embryonic cells 1347 01:36:54,726 --> 01:36:57,060 and defaults into my adult stem cells. 1348 01:36:58,605 --> 01:37:00,564 You know that? 1349 01:37:00,732 --> 01:37:03,233 I mean I don't, but I'm not sure. 1350 01:37:03,401 --> 01:37:06,737 But I can show you the origin of the theory. 1351 01:37:08,823 --> 01:37:11,742 You're still not in love with me? 1352 01:37:34,766 --> 01:37:37,267 Last syringe. 1353 01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:39,102 You still want this? 1354 01:37:47,779 --> 01:37:50,489 Okay. 1355 01:37:50,657 --> 01:37:54,493 I... I want to show you where I grew up. 1356 01:38:09,217 --> 01:38:11,510 So if you love me, 1357 01:38:11,678 --> 01:38:15,305 then there's this hormone and you'll stay the same? 1358 01:38:15,473 --> 01:38:17,474 In theory, yeah. 1359 01:38:17,642 --> 01:38:21,687 But neither of us has much control over it 1360 01:38:21,854 --> 01:38:25,440 and how would I even know? 1361 01:38:27,652 --> 01:38:31,113 I know I'm in love with you. 1362 01:38:31,281 --> 01:38:33,115 You know that? 1363 01:38:33,283 --> 01:38:35,659 Yes. 1364 01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:40,330 So it seems like you should know if you love me or not. 1365 01:38:40,498 --> 01:38:45,669 So you never lusted for someone before and then it passed? 1366 01:38:59,017 --> 01:39:02,019 So you've never been in love before? 1367 01:39:02,186 --> 01:39:04,980 I guess not. 1368 01:39:05,148 --> 01:39:07,691 - Not in thousands of years? - I am not a sociopath, okay? 1369 01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:10,360 I just have really bad luck. 1370 01:39:16,326 --> 01:39:17,701 - Bad luck. - I got it. 1371 01:39:17,869 --> 01:39:19,786 Okay. 1372 01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:26,376 You probably know the entire city 1373 01:39:26,544 --> 01:39:29,212 was buried by the volcano you see there in the distance. 1374 01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:32,007 Buried in ash and pumice perfectly preserved 1375 01:39:32,175 --> 01:39:34,801 and was rediscovered and dug up centuries later. 1376 01:39:34,969 --> 01:39:36,969 And if you look to your left, you'll see an example 1377 01:39:37,013 --> 01:39:38,773 of one of the earliest "Beware of Dog" signs. 1378 01:39:38,890 --> 01:39:40,849 Are you sure there's no security here? 1379 01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:43,810 No, but, Evan, I feel like you don't want to see my home town. 1380 01:39:45,605 --> 01:39:47,773 - What the fuck? - Yup. 1381 01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:50,734 When excavators came across chambers shaped like human... 1382 01:39:50,902 --> 01:39:52,819 Ev... Evan, no! 1383 01:39:52,987 --> 01:39:55,072 - No, come back. - Was that a real dog? 1384 01:39:55,239 --> 01:39:57,074 What are you doing? 1385 01:39:57,241 --> 01:40:00,869 They injected plaster into them and that's what you get. 1386 01:40:01,037 --> 01:40:04,539 And here we have the whorehouse. I've never been there. 1387 01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:06,792 But I've been to the bakery you see to your right 1388 01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,586 and to the bar here on the corner. 1389 01:40:09,754 --> 01:40:11,588 And... 1390 01:40:11,756 --> 01:40:13,340 What? 1391 01:40:15,301 --> 01:40:18,261 I want to show you my family now. 1392 01:40:20,098 --> 01:40:22,307 Okay, that's weird. 1393 01:40:22,475 --> 01:40:25,560 I didn't know their tombs were here, but... 1394 01:40:25,728 --> 01:40:28,939 So this is my father, 1395 01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:32,109 my mother, and my little brother. 1396 01:40:34,404 --> 01:40:36,655 How did you get away in time? 1397 01:40:36,823 --> 01:40:39,783 - I didn't. - Then how did you get out? 1398 01:40:39,951 --> 01:40:42,953 You really want to know? 1399 01:40:45,248 --> 01:40:48,375 It's 2,000 years ago, so I'm doing fine. 1400 01:40:48,543 --> 01:40:51,503 My pain threshold is still built for birthing, 1401 01:40:51,671 --> 01:40:53,797 so lava is fine. 1402 01:40:55,758 --> 01:40:58,343 My oxytocin case study? 1403 01:40:58,511 --> 01:41:00,721 I got it from her. 1404 01:41:00,888 --> 01:41:04,141 It's hereditary. 1405 01:41:04,308 --> 01:41:07,269 She gave it all up for me and my father. 1406 01:41:09,981 --> 01:41:13,316 I don't want to die and I don't want to watch anyone die. 1407 01:41:17,155 --> 01:41:19,781 Well, at least you got the same backstory as Harry Potter. 1408 01:41:19,949 --> 01:41:22,159 That's pretty cool. 1409 01:41:22,326 --> 01:41:25,328 Can I say something in absolute sincerity? 1410 01:41:27,081 --> 01:41:29,750 I'm gonna miss the hell out of you. 1411 01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:32,502 Like, it's gonna fucking hurt, bad. 1412 01:41:35,131 --> 01:41:39,259 Your perfect male fantasy just shattered. 1413 01:41:39,427 --> 01:41:41,678 A younger wife and a sugar mama. 1414 01:41:45,516 --> 01:41:48,852 Yeah, you forgot the incest part. I mean, I'm an open-minded guy, 1415 01:41:49,020 --> 01:41:51,730 but I probably wouldn't want that. 1416 01:41:51,898 --> 01:41:54,274 That's the Temple of Apollo sundial. 1417 01:41:54,442 --> 01:41:56,193 - This? - No, no, no. 1418 01:41:56,360 --> 01:41:57,694 Mm-mm. 1419 01:41:57,862 --> 01:41:59,905 After we borrowed him from the ancient Greeks, 1420 01:42:00,072 --> 01:42:01,823 he was replaced by Jesus, 1421 01:42:01,991 --> 01:42:04,367 and now we don't know who the old clock belongs to. 1422 01:42:06,704 --> 01:42:09,915 Um, one last thing you should know. 1423 01:42:12,001 --> 01:42:17,339 Right before I transform, if I transform... 1424 01:42:17,507 --> 01:42:19,716 that monster 1425 01:42:19,884 --> 01:42:23,053 is gonna be the biggest and sharpest. 1426 01:42:25,181 --> 01:42:27,849 How big? 1427 01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:29,976 Just run. 1428 01:42:30,144 --> 01:42:32,062 Really fast. 1429 01:42:36,025 --> 01:42:38,568 We never got my clothes. 1430 01:42:40,112 --> 01:42:44,574 No. One of us says something about journey and destination. 1431 01:42:46,828 --> 01:42:49,913 Destinations are underrated? 1432 01:42:50,081 --> 01:42:53,041 You ever wonder what life is like in the finite? 1433 01:42:53,209 --> 01:42:56,002 Terrifying all the time, I'm sure. 1434 01:42:56,170 --> 01:42:58,338 I don't think so. 1435 01:43:00,550 --> 01:43:04,219 Even at my lowest, I'm still excited to use the time the best I can. 1436 01:43:04,387 --> 01:43:06,721 There's motivation to make every second count. 1437 01:43:10,643 --> 01:43:12,185 You never got lonely? 1438 01:43:14,939 --> 01:43:17,023 Not since I met you. 1439 01:43:17,191 --> 01:43:19,818 Doesn't it scare you losing that? 1440 01:43:32,999 --> 01:43:35,000 What are you doing? 1441 01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:37,752 Begging. 1442 01:43:37,920 --> 01:43:40,213 Go on, it's time. 1443 01:43:49,181 --> 01:43:52,642 Tell me more about the finite. 1444 01:43:57,690 --> 01:44:01,026 Um... 1445 01:44:01,193 --> 01:44:03,069 let's see, uh... 1446 01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:07,574 When you're sick, it makes you feel lucky 1447 01:44:07,742 --> 01:44:09,784 for all the times when you were healthy. 1448 01:44:12,163 --> 01:44:15,206 Uh, sunrises and sunsets... 1449 01:44:16,667 --> 01:44:19,961 some things are just beautiful no matter what 1450 01:44:20,129 --> 01:44:22,631 and a constant reminder that you only get so many. 1451 01:44:24,342 --> 01:44:27,677 So you better fucking enjoy 'em. 1452 01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:34,559 Some pizza and a bottle of wine with the right person 1453 01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:37,854 that can make the shittiest day better. 1454 01:44:38,022 --> 01:44:40,690 Coffee dates take up a pretty good 1455 01:44:40,858 --> 01:44:43,860 chunk of your time, but... but they're worth it. 1456 01:44:46,364 --> 01:44:50,200 I don't know, you can choose to work yourself to death, 1457 01:44:50,368 --> 01:44:54,496 but you could also throw all that work away 1458 01:44:54,664 --> 01:44:57,207 without regrets for the right person. 1459 01:44:59,251 --> 01:45:02,420 Maybe that's chemical, but it's also magic. 1460 01:45:05,216 --> 01:45:09,928 Uh, love comes around a couple times, if you're lucky. 1461 01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:15,475 Life probably seems short no matter what, but...