1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,345
When you two first came into my office,
2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:15,224
I was like, "This
marriage is not going to last."
3
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:20,938
But you've really put the work
in. I deem your marriage fixed.
4
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,231
Thanks, Dr. Janet.
5
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:25,817
We couldn't have done this without
you and your many novelty certificates.
6
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:30,030
Well, this has certainly been a big
year for the Rabitowitz marriage.
7
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,281
It certainly has.
8
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,660
But now it's New Year's Eve and,
Katie, my New Year's resolution to you
9
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,621
is to spend more time with
my wonderful wife, who I...
10
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,790
I gotta take this.
11
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,458
- Oh, um, but...
- Hello.
12
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,085
Hey, partner, big news. Huge news.
13
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,253
I'm all ears.
14
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,505
The Flight of the
Pegasus just lost their lead.
15
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,923
They start shooting next week.
16
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:52,844
So what you're telling me is David
Pincher needs a new star immediately
17
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:56,598
for his three-picture young
adult dystopian future franchise?
18
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,100
Yup. What's that I hear?
19
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,060
Beep beep. Someone's
calling on the other line.
20
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,395
That's strange. Hello?
21
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,481
It's Oodles of Money calling.
Will we accept the charges?
22
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,483
Why would Oodles of
Money be calling collect?
23
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,069
I don't know. Don't accept the
charges, we cannot afford it.
24
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,405
I gotta go in. I'm sorry.
25
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,741
Okay. But make sure you're
back before, you know.
26
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,619
Deal. Best deal I ever made.
27
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,998
Boom! What's black and
white and sexy all over?
28
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,165
Chuff Hollister.
29
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,002
He's young, he's hot, he's
Australian or British or whatever.
30
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,671
We can paint over his
stripes so he looks like a horse.
31
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,966
I can see the headline
now, Chuff Hollister is...
32
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,467
The next Pegasus.
33
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:35,887
BoJack's got star power and
grit up the wazoo. I can't imagine...
34
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:39,433
Anyone who would appeal to
the audience more than Chuff.
35
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,642
He's got sex appeal...
36
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,144
- Gravitas...
- Youth...
37
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,272
- Experience...
- And abs coming out of the wazoo.
38
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,024
And what a wazoo it is.
39
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,693
- This would put
Gekko-Rabitowitz... - On the map.
40
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,446
The map of profitable agencies, that is.
41
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,573
Perfect, because without
it we could be in...
42
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,659
Real trouble. We did not hit our
projected earnings for the year.
43
00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,912
The year's not over yet. We
still have one day to go all out.
44
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,540
Rutabaga, do you think we
have the spunk and moxie...
45
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,709
That's a good name for
a lady detective series.
46
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,253
Required to pull this
off and save the agency?
47
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,630
Hell yeah, I do.
48
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,758
That would be a great title for
a movie about marrying Satan.
49
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,801
How are we losing money?
50
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,596
Vanessa, we're getting Chuff
this part and coming out on top.
51
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:21,266
I know we will, because
we're the good guys.
52
00:03:11,853 --> 00:03:15,652
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
53
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,159
Suck a duck a duck a dick, dumbshit.
54
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,911
- Hey, Sarah Lynn.
- Hey, loser.
55
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,414
Did you get a call about
that Ethan Around thing?
56
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,999
- You're not gonna do it, are you?
- I'm sorry, what thing?
57
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:32,045
Ethan Around, the Horsin' Around sequel
series Brad's trying to get made?
58
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,757
He called to ask me, I asked
him, can you put a bullet in my brain?
59
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,009
That would probably
be a better career move.
60
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,512
Wait, slow down. Did
you say Ethan Around?
61
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,056
I know. It should be
Sabrina Around, right?
62
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,850
That's a show people would watch.
63
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:48,103
Sabrina doing cool skateboard
tricks and eating kettle corn.
64
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,815
Hold on, if this was a real thing,
why would Brad call you and not me?
65
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,650
Who knows? Why do people do anything?
66
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,571
Why did I make the cartoon tree grandma
from Pocahontas my emergency contact?
67
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,407
Are you sure this whole thing isn't
just a semi-lucid fever dream
68
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,908
from mixing the wrong pills?
69
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,870
Did you not hear? I'm clean
and sober, eight months.
70
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:05,996
Really? That's incredible.
71
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,498
Yeah, I wanted a change in my life.
72
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,126
Because I heard if you stop
doing drugs for a while,
73
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,045
the first time you do
them again, it's amazing.
74
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,631
- What? No, just stay sober.
- Ugh!
75
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,426
Whatever. Call me when
you're ready to party.
76
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,682
Well, that's troubling.
77
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,326
Can you believe they're doing a
Horsin' Around reboot without me?
78
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,480
What do you care? You're about
to be nominated for an Oscar.
79
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,273
Not the point. This is about respect.
80
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,400
BoJack, is this really a good idea?
81
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,069
Tools. Brad speaking.
82
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,530
You're doing a new show in
the extended Horsin' Around
83
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,365
cinematic universe
and you didn't call me?
84
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:46,077
Hey, BoJack. Ethan Around
is just an idea I had.
85
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,913
It's not officially
happening or anything.
86
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:52,167
I would love for you to be part of it,
but the horse died in the series finale.
87
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,462
So? We could write around that.
The Horse dying was just a dream.
88
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,340
The Horse had a twin
brother, comes back as a ghost.
89
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,218
Ethan missed the Horse so much he
built a robot Horse as a tribute.
90
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:05,347
"I've heard of overloaded
motherboards, but this is ridiculous."
91
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,016
Those are off the top of
my head, they're all gold.
92
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,768
I'm surprised you're so into the idea.
93
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,479
I've been having trouble getting
networks on the phone,
94
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,899
but with a big star like you
attached, we could sell this right away.
95
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,400
I wouldn't say I'm attached...
96
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,445
Don't move. I'm getting
the next flight down to LA.
97
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,322
- Right now?
- And purchased.
98
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,157
BoJack, for the last 20 years
99
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,910
I've been telling people I
didn't need the trappings of fame,
100
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,205
that I was better off, happy
with my little B-plus life
101
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:34,292
at my little B-plus hardware store in
little B-plus Olympia, Washington.
102
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,294
B-minus children. But it's a lie.
103
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,922
I miss the warmth of
the spotlight on my face.
104
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,716
The thrill of telling a
joke and feeling it land.
105
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,802
Is that a thrill you experienced?
106
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:48,306
The sitcom stage is my home, and
I'm tired of denying myself that.
107
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,141
I'm ready to come home.
108
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,477
Great.
109
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,813
- Why did you let me call him?
- Ugh.
110
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,903
Ah, smell that Labrador Peninsula
air. Keep an eye out for my brother.
111
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,365
- How will I know which one's him?
- He's the one that looks like me.
112
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,867
Got it.
113
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,911
- Hello?
- Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.
114
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,788
Is this an okay time to talk business?
115
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,999
Yeah, I'm just waiting for
Captain Peanutbutter.
116
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,834
What is that, like, a cereal?
117
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,043
No, my brother.
118
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,713
- He's picking us up at the airport.
- Nice.
119
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,132
Speaking of driving people places,
120
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,010
Cabracadabra had a killer holiday season
121
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,887
and I think New Year's is
going to be even bigger.
122
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:31,891
I'm loving that segue, Todd. You
are a conversational Magellan.
123
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:35,770
Turns out there's a huge demand for
a safe space for women. Who knew?
124
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,522
Honestly, never
would've crossed my mind.
125
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,317
So I was thinking, what's the next step?
126
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,028
What if we made our
safe space for women...
127
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,365
also available to men?
128
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,117
That's an untapped market.
129
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,744
All right, then it's agreed.
130
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,953
No goodbye?
131
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,331
He's a conversational Amelia Earhart.
132
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,960
Mr. Peanutbutter and Captain
Peanutbutter in the same room?
133
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,630
What is this, a flashback episode?
134
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,299
Captain Peanutbutter,
you old so-and-so.
135
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,426
- Get over here.
- Careful.
136
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,472
Where's Mrs. Captain Peanutbutter?
137
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:14,017
She's in Alaska running the
Iditarod. She sends her love.
138
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852
And this noogie.
139
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,021
Whoo!
140
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,398
Diane, this is my big brother.
141
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,609
Big brother? I'm five minutes older.
142
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,985
And you always will be.
143
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,820
It's nice to meet you, Captain.
144
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:29,032
Hey, put that thing away. You're family.
145
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,784
Oh!
146
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:37,499
So David Pincher is about to shoot
the Flight of the Pegasus trilogy
147
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:40,919
in New Zealand, and BoJack
is perfect for the lead.
148
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,088
A part like that would really underline
149
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:47,342
that BoJack's more than just
an actor, he's a movie star.
150
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,552
If I'm doing that, I
conveniently won't be able
151
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,388
to do that dumbass Ethan Around show.
152
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,139
Use that when you
tell him I won't do it.
153
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,891
Why don't you tell him
you don't want to do it?
154
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,102
I can't. I'm like a
father figure to him...
155
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,603
I slept with his mother.
156
00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,604
- Gross.
- No.
157
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,524
I slept with her 20 years
ago. She was young then, not gross.
158
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,441
Ugh!
159
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,569
Hey, loved you in The
Caveman's Valentine.
160
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,530
- Hmm?
- Nothing? The Caveman's Valentine?
161
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,408
Samuel L. Jackson had
that big beard? Look it up.
162
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,291
- When you start laughing, call me.
- Will do.
163
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,245
Do we have an offer
on the Pegasus movie?
164
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,455
I'll get it, Kalamata. Don't
get your pita in a wad.
165
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,833
Wow. Flight of the Pegasus.
166
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,918
This must be what Robert
Downey Jr. felt like
167
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,795
when he woke up on that
stranger's bathroom floor
168
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,588
and found out he was gonna be Iron Man.
169
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:31,928
It's another unseasonably
warm day in the Labrador Peninsula
170
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,389
and things are looking
sunny all the way to the new year.
171
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,974
It really is true what they say...
172
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,893
Nothing bad ever
happens on the Labrador Peninsula.
173
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,478
Oh, paradise.
174
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,246
Uncle Mister. Uncle Mister.
175
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,666
Now who let these little
monsters onto my peninsula?
176
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,917
We're your nephews.
177
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:07,130
What? I don't remember my
nephews being made out of candy.
178
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,507
Gobble, gobble, gobble.
179
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:14,012
Look at those
children. Little miracles, right?
180
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:18,099
They're adorable, not that I
value them based on their looks.
181
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,309
Because, of course,
182
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,228
children in society today are
often reduced to their cuteness.
183
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,315
I can't wait to get to know
your children as people,
184
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,817
so I can specifically compliment
them individually
185
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,028
on the foundation of their characters.
186
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:33,406
Well, one day they'll die, just like us.
187
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,324
Uh...
188
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,242
- Do you believe in the soul?
- What?
189
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:41,372
Life is the most precious
resource we have. Remember that, Diane.
190
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,749
Okay.
191
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,628
Pretty great, right?
192
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,924
Did you tell your brother
about the A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N?
193
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,718
The audition? No, I could
never tell him about that.
194
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,054
He thinks I'm
offer-only, it would break his heart.
195
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,263
Wait, what audition?
196
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,433
- No, the abortion.
- Oh, no. Should I have?
197
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,228
He said some weird stuff to me earlier.
198
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,730
The kind of stuff you'd
hear in a sad Creed song.
199
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,524
Or a happy Elliott Smith song.
200
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,903
Oh, he's probably just razzing ya, but
he's a good dog. All bark, no bite.
201
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,365
Sorry, that's a Labrador expression.
I guess in human terms it would be:
202
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:19,369
He's all talk, and no shooting
you with an assault rifle.
203
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,246
Is that what you think humans do?
204
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,372
Am I wrong?
205
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,001
Boom! This is David Pincher.
206
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:30,505
And this is everyone who works for him.
207
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,798
Now unfortunately for us,
208
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,759
everyone on this board must
really like their boss's movies,
209
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:38,763
because for the
holidays, they're all Gone Girl.
210
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,641
Thank you, except for her. Boom.
211
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:45,061
The assistant to David
Pincher's casting director.
212
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,481
Wait a second, I know that
face. Why does she look so familiar?
213
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,942
- Oh, fish.
- Oh, fish.
214
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,154
So when I found out that
the best assistant I ever had
215
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,947
was working for David Pincher,
216
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,574
I mean, what are the odds?
217
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,952
Did he hire you because of your
cute little Benjamin Button-nose?
218
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,539
I'll put in a good word for
BoJack, but I'm just an assistant.
219
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,001
Just an assistant? Laura,
assistants are everything.
220
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,336
You're the first people
in, the last people out.
221
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,089
You know everyone's real name,
age, nose, teeth, and tits.
222
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,094
You have power, because in today's
223
00:11:15,119 --> 00:11:17,534
economy the only true
power is information.
224
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,470
I want you to use that power.
225
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,891
I want you to get your boss to
pick BoJack as his Pegasus.
226
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,934
I always believed in you, Laura.
227
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,353
do
you believe in yourself?
228
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,064
Wow, that's... I'm sorry,
did you just make that up?
229
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,067
Because that was... Is that
a speech you had ready to go?
230
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,278
- Will you do this for me?
- Of course.
231
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,364
You went to bat for me when I
tried to get a promotion at Vigor.
232
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,826
I pushed so hard for
you. I did everything I could.
233
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,787
I mean, we gals gotta look
out for each other. Right?
234
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:45,997
Right.
235
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,754
So you're talking about a merger?
236
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,673
Since my dad croaked I've
been running Vigor myself,
237
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:59,135
and I've been doing a pretty
good job, A-minus/B-plus.
238
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,617
But I could use a few more
239
00:12:00,642 --> 00:12:02,955
experienced hands to
help guide the ship,
240
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:07,477
- because being a boss is really hard.
- Yes.
241
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,730
Princess Carolyn can be a proud
woman. I'm glad you came to me first.
242
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,523
I would have gone to her directly,
243
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,777
but sometimes she yells at me and
I do not like being yelled at
244
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,863
and that is just something that
people need to understand about me.
245
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,157
I'll talk to her,
when the time is right.
246
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:29,958
So on the new show Ethan is the dad,
and he's raising three little horses.
247
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,126
You couldn't have told
me this over the phone?
248
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,545
This show is going to change my life.
249
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,674
I'm taking the kids out of
school and moving everyone down here.
250
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,218
I just had an offer
accepted on a house in Sherman Oaks.
251
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,012
As long as I don't change my
mind before the new year, boom.
252
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,472
Two million dollars, gone.
253
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,391
- The new year? That's tonight.
- I know.
254
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,476
Did you talk to my agent by any chance?
255
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,811
- No.
- She didn't call you?
256
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,939
I talked to her, and I don't
know if she wants me to do it.
257
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,315
You know how agents are.
258
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,567
Just remember, I'm not the bad guy here.
259
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,277
I hear you loud and clear.
260
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,405
Don't worry. We won't
take no for an answer.
261
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,757
I think my schedule's gonna be
262
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,515
tough... Might be
going to New Zealand.
263
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,034
We'll work around your schedule.
264
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,412
Those bastards got
my quote so damn high.
265
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,831
We'll pay it. No obstacle
is insurmountable.
266
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,126
- As long as you want to do it.
- And I do want to do it.
267
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,502
Get me out of this thing.
268
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,380
This asshole's giving me everything
I ask for. What a nightmare.
269
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,265
Tell him you don't want to do the show.
270
00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:20,866
I can't. It would destroy him.
271
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,011
Destroying people is
what I pay you to do,
272
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,346
so I don't think about
the people I'm destroying.
273
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,432
Do you not know what an agent is?
274
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,018
BoJack, are you okay in there?
275
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,020
Is it number one or number two?
276
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,818
That cat's running circles around
us. What are we going to do?
277
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,904
Maybe we can distract her?
I'm thinking laser pointer.
278
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:45,116
If we're going to beat
her, we need to think like her.
279
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:48,870
Instead of convincing the Pegasus
people they don't want BoJack,
280
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,330
what if we convince BoJack
he doesn't want Pegasus?
281
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,916
Fantastic. How do we do that?
282
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,043
Kelsey.
283
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,504
Kelsey? That's what I said when they
said you wanted to meet with me.
284
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,268
I figured you never
wanted to see me again.
285
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:01,716
I never want to see anyone again,
286
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,344
but there's a book I've been trying to
turn into a movie and I need your help.
287
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:09,390
It's a coming-of-age story about
a girl who likes jellybeans.
288
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,100
The option expires tonight at midnight,
289
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,978
unless I can find a big
enough star to secure funding.
290
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,646
Frankly, I already gave up on it.
291
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,191
Then my agent said, "Maybe
BoJack's interested."
292
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,360
So the reason you think
I'm right for the role
293
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,445
is because I'm a big enough
star to secure funding?
294
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,031
Don't get smart,
BoJack. You're not good at it.
295
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,616
You're really giving the hard sell here.
296
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,203
I hear they've got you locked
in to some fantasy dystopia thing.
297
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,081
Are you just gonna do stupid
bullshit for the rest of your life?
298
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,749
For work or, like, in general?
299
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:37,460
I saw something in you, something
most people don't know you have,
300
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,171
and it kills me that instead
of sharing it with the world,
301
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,508
you want to hide it under
some wonderland unicorn nonsense.
302
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,010
It's a Pegasus. Unicorns are for babies.
303
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,179
The movie I want to
make isn't glamorous or sexy.
304
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,556
You don't get to be the
big hero everybody loves.
305
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,850
You get to be a guy who
works at a gas station,
306
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,269
who gets in a fight with his
daughter about jellybeans.
307
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,314
That's the whole movie.
It's small and it's real.
308
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,776
And you'd get to work with
a director who sees you.
309
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,779
And I can't sell it
any better than that.
310
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,532
You're right, that one scene we
shot that didn't even make it
311
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,076
into the Secretariat movie was
the best thing I ever did.
312
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,620
Why am I wasting my
time with this other stuff?
313
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,205
- So you're in?
- Let's do it.
314
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,833
Great. How's your little
friend with the face?
315
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,210
Is he up to his old
tricks, getting into scrapes?
316
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,130
What a little
scamp. Will you tell him I said hi?
317
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,636
Kelsey's movie sounds perfect.
318
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:32,640
Is it the nobody's-gonna-see-it element or
the fact you'll be working for peanuts?
319
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,537
This jellybean thing
could show the world
320
00:15:34,562 --> 00:15:36,418
that BoJack's more than
just a movie star.
321
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,646
- He's an actor.
- Yeah, well, that's great,
322
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,315
but I've been working all day on
getting him the Pegasus movie
323
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,651
you said would show the
world he's a movie star.
324
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,571
I don't want that anymore.
I want to do something real.
325
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,990
You realize how much
money we'd be walking away from?
326
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,741
This isn't about
money. Doesn't matter to me.
327
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,828
- Yeah, it doesn't matter to you.
- Right. So what's the problem?
328
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:56,164
Maybe you can find a
way for BoJack to do both?
329
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,417
You're supposed to be this
amazing agent, after all.
330
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,252
I'll see what I can do.
331
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,216
New beers for the new year's?
332
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,344
We got a regular Maya Angelou over here.
333
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,180
Good times.
334
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,383
Oh, it's Todd. Gotta take this.
335
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,934
- Maybe you can call him back later?
- Todd!
336
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:20,146
Don't be too long, or I'm
gonna drink all your beer.
337
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:24,484
Diane, do you
ever look up at the stars
338
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,445
and feel like they're
tiny holes in the sky,
339
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,531
sucking out all the oxygen, and
suddenly you can't breathe
340
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,464
because you're
thinking about how
341
00:16:32,489 --> 00:16:34,935
small you are and how
meaningless it all is?
342
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,288
Uh... I guess.
343
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,707
It's so cruel to let people love you.
344
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:44,587
All you're doing is promising you'll
one day break their hearts.
345
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,339
Cool fire pit.
346
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:53,721
So it turns out men love safe spaces
for women even more than women do.
347
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,183
You gotta read some of these
comments. Queefburglar69 says,
348
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:01,521
"These sexy lady chauffeurs always
get me where I need to go."
349
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,147
That's unambiguous.
350
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,484
The only problem is some of the
drivers have been complaining
351
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,110
about the new customer base.
352
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:12,240
The workers are allowed to
complain? We gotta tighten up that ship.
353
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,825
Most of the new
passengers are perfect gentlemen,
354
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,828
but we've found that a growing
number are rating our drivers
355
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,165
not on performance but on "bangability",
356
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:25,086
which creates an unfair
advantage for our "bangable" drivers
357
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:29,048
and creates what some of
our more homely employees
358
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:34,011
have dubbed a hostile
sexy-ocracy. Whoa!
359
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:38,099
Well, our first priority is
creating a safe space for women,
360
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,476
so if our women don't
feel safe in that space,
361
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,770
we should replace
them with women who do.
362
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,069
Where can we find women who
363
00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:47,966
are comfortable
around gentlemen?
364
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,278
I know. A gentleman's club.
365
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,404
That's perfect.
366
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,197
To Whale World.
367
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,159
Well, you didn't hear it from me,
368
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,453
but I pulled some strings and you're in.
369
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,247
I always knew you were a superstar.
370
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,790
Let's get drinks in the new year
371
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,273
and work out the deets... That's
a fast way of saying details
372
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,462
for people who don't have time for
every detail of the word details.
373
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,880
Vanessa Gekko on line two.
374
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,882
Great, put that raggedy-ass bitch on.
375
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,343
I'm gonna bat her
around like a ball of foil.
376
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,097
I know you're excited, but we are
still in a very precarious position,
377
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:21,601
and I wonder if
foil-ball-batting is the best tack here.
378
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,604
Judah, this is where I
live. Watch and learn.
379
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:28,357
Hey, we heard BoJack and Kelsey had
a great meeting on Jelly Belle.
380
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,735
Gotta tie this up
tonight if it's going to happen.
381
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,445
BoJack would love to do the movie,
382
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:35,281
but you're gonna have to
work around his Pegasus schedule.
383
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,825
Oh, um... That might be tricky.
384
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,952
Then you're gonna have to
match his Pegasus quote.
385
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,122
- He won't do it for a penny less.
- Princess Carolyn...
386
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,375
Even with a star like BoJack, Kelsey
can't get that kind of money.
387
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,002
Well, then, work around his schedule.
388
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,589
You're overplaying your hand,
PC, and I'm calling your bluff.
389
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,048
I'm barreling towards you fast,
390
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:55,158
Gekko, and this Mack
truck ain't gonna blink.
391
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:58,137
That's not fair. I was clearly
establishing a poker metaphor,
392
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,264
you just changed it
to a game of chicken.
393
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,641
My court. My rules.
394
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,684
Court? What game are you playing?
395
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:04,977
Bye.
396
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,854
- Damn it!
- Question,
397
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,940
am I the faulty bike tire
pump I had in seventh grade?
398
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,693
Because I just blew
this thing wide open.
399
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,237
- Talk to me, soldier.
- I have been scouring old emails.
400
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,240
I didn't know what I was looking
for. I knew there was something.
401
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,576
And I found it. Bam!
402
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:25,206
Hot shit on a ham
sandwich, this is amazing!
403
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,585
Sweet crap on a croissant,
Katie's going into labor!
404
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,838
Go, I'll take care of
this. Family comes first.
405
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,091
Thank you. You make me stronger.
406
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,223
Why is my house filled with sexy orcas?
407
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:46,769
It's the Cabracadabra New Year's
party. These are our drivers.
408
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,688
Oh. Uh, where's Emily?
409
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,774
She left. She said she
didn't feel comfortable here.
410
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,152
She certainly didn't feel
comfortable paying for the food she ate.
411
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,114
Yeah, okay, BoJack.
412
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,869
I got champagne for my real
friends, 'cause that's what you are.
413
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,996
- A real friend.
- He doesn't want to do your show.
414
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,040
- What?
- BoJack is about to win an Oscar.
415
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,584
Why do you think he would
want to do your soon-to-fail sitcom
416
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,462
about the further
adventures of a carb-faced nobody?
417
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,923
- Oh, maybe...
- You are not a television star.
418
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,473
You have no talent and I am
419
00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:20,160
forgetting your face even
as I'm looking at it.
420
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,054
Pack your bags. Go
back to Nowheresville.
421
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:26,517
Thank you for the champagne.
Best regards, Ana Spanakopita.
422
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:32,189
Oh, God, the house! I gotta
pull my deposit! Pick up...
423
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,650
Oh, no. I dropped my phone in a bog.
424
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,281
Something is going on with your
brother. You need to talk to him.
425
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:42,412
We don't really have the
kind of relationship
426
00:20:42,437 --> 00:20:43,683
where we talk about things.
427
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,411
Labs prefer to keep things playful.
428
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,998
You know what they say about
dogs? Talking to each other is rrruff.
429
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,750
I'm serious, Mr. Peanutbutter.
430
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,836
And I'm serious that you should drop it.
431
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,422
If something was really
wrong, he would tell me about it.
432
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,339
Would he?
433
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,823
I know he's your brother, but
he's hiding something from you.
434
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,178
Why do you think you know
my brother better than I do?
435
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,621
Just because you have a
shitty relationship with your family
436
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,558
doesn't mean every other
family has to have drama too.
437
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,477
I wanted to come up
here and have a nice time.
438
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,103
This place is an escape for me.
439
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:14,064
- Okay, I'm sorry, I just...
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
440
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,734
I should not have
shouted at you. I just...
441
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,861
I need to go for a walk.
442
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,453
- Oh, hey.
- Hey, is there something going on?
443
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,956
Because I know there isn't, but if
there is, you would tell me, right?
444
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,541
But there's nothing to tell,
445
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,419
because nothing bad ever
happens on the Labrador Peninsula.
446
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:38,297
- Okay, I think you should sit down.
- Why?
447
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,091
- I need to talk to you. Sit down.
- I will not sit down.
448
00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,344
- Mr. Peanutbutter, sit.
- Okay.
449
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,139
- I got a twisted spleen.
- No.
450
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,017
It's not fatal, necessarily.
Everything's gonna be fine.
451
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,936
They still have to run some tests.
452
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,313
- But it's going to be fine?
- Yeah.
453
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,732
Promise me it's going to be
fine? You're my big brother.
454
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,859
That means you can't
lie to me about this.
455
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,212
Mr. Peanutbutter, you
are the best runt
456
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,221
of the litter a guy
could ask for.
457
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,448
No, don't do this.
458
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,909
- But there might come a time...
- Please.
459
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,037
When you're going to
have to be the captain.
460
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:14,458
What is this, a very special episode?
461
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,684
What? What do you mean? What happened?
462
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,936
It's a no-go on BoJack for Pegasus.
463
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,479
I don't understand, Laura. I...
464
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,941
I just wanted you to
know. I did everything I could.
465
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,698
- Hey.
- Look...
466
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,951
If you didn't wanna do my
movie, you should have just told me.
467
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,744
I do want to do your movie.
468
00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:53,289
Oh, yeah? Why did your
agent keep demanding more money?
469
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,916
- What?
- The option's expired and I'm screwed.
470
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,462
Ugh! Why did I get my hopes up? Why
do I keep letting you get my hopes up?
471
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,714
Kelsey, this is a mistake.
472
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,466
It's a mistake I keep
making. Next time, BoJack?
473
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,052
Do a girl a favor, don't
break her heart by inches.
474
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,888
Do it all at once. It'll
save everyone some time.
475
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:11,307
Huh?
476
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:14,435
Ten, nine, eight...
477
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,813
Oh, good, you're still here.
478
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,482
I wanted to get a head
start on the 2016 budget.
479
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:22,847
It'll be a challenge, but
assuming BoJack books Pegasus...
480
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,612
BoJack didn't book Pegasus.
481
00:23:24,695 --> 00:23:27,698
- So he's doing the jellybean movie?
- That fell apart, too.
482
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,491
We're gonna have to cut some costs.
483
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:32,411
Our social media division is a
luxury we can no longer afford.
484
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:35,831
If things don't perk up the first
quarter, we might be looking at broader layoffs.
485
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:39,418
- Do you ever read a room?
- I'm sorry, is this a bad time?
486
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,880
Is midnight on New Year's
a bad time? I don't know.
487
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,424
Why don't you run that
through your robot analysis protocol?
488
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:47,509
Get back to me once
you've assessed the data.
489
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,970
I am not a robot. I am a human being.
490
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:53,015
You want to make some cuts? Why
don't you cut that stupid beard?
491
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,769
Everyone who walks
in here thinks this
492
00:23:54,794 --> 00:23:56,292
place is run by a
homeless person.
493
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:57,792
I apologize if my appearance
494
00:23:57,817 --> 00:23:59,462
or demeanor is unprofessional.
495
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:04,818
No, you're perfect. Everybody's
perfect except for me.
496
00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:05,986
Go home, Judah.
497
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:09,156
- Would you like me to shave the beard?
- Just go home, Judah.
498
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,868
Happy New Year, Princess Carolyn.
499
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:35,015
Hello, little ones. Mama loves you.
500
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:37,434
And you. And you. And you.
501
00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,521
- They're so beautiful.
- And you, and you, and you.
502
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,523
- Rutabaga, we got it.
- Yeah?
503
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:46,694
Chuff Hollister is the new
Pegasus. We saved the agency.
504
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:50,197
- That's incredible, honey.
- Wow, everything worked out.
505
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,825
You gotta love a happy ending.
506
00:25:05,424 --> 00:25:09,579
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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