1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007 - [Diane crying] - [sad music playing] 2 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,819 [car tires squeaking] 3 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,573 [crying continues] 4 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,840 I need to get as far away from Los Angeles as possible. 5 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,469 The handy ticketing screens are behind you and will provide all the answers you need. 6 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,888 - Can't you just help me? - Screen has all the answers. 7 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,642 [sighs] I could really use some personal attention right now. 8 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,562 - Where did you want to go? - I need to leave tonight. Anywhere. 9 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,064 Uh, okay. Hanoi? 10 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,942 Vietnam! Yes, perfect! Thank you! 11 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,738 - Sh-should I punch it into that screen? - Uh-huh. 12 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,825 And say nice things about me. That screen's my supervisor. 13 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,286 [theme music playing] 14 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,346 - [phone vibrating] - I'm Peter Sagal. Don't wait, wait. 15 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,931 - Do answer your phone. - Stefani? 16 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,352 Hey, girl! Just checking up on that clickable content you were working on. 17 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,063 Listen, something came up, and I... Where are you? 18 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,566 I'm doing a new, fully immersive, 3-D spin class. 19 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,444 [chuckles] Oh, you know what? I'm just biking. 20 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,197 - Oh. Well, I just landed in Vietnam... - [growls] 21 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,075 - Where is my content, Diane? - Um... 22 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,452 I need words for my website. 23 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,121 There are words on the website now, but I need younger words, 24 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:46,792 newer words, fresher words to feed the insatiable beast! 25 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,044 Okay, okay, I'll write something while I'm here. 26 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,547 - Love it! Feed that beast, girl! Bye! - [phone beeps] 27 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,716 [indistinct chattering in Vietnamese] 28 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,593 [Diane reading] 29 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,891 Number one: To reconnect with your ancestral roots. 30 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,936 As a born and raised American, 31 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,064 you never felt much connection to your Vietnamese heritage, 32 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,234 and your parents offered little to fill in the blanks. 33 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,320 G'aw! You call that a fastball? 34 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,116 With an arm like that, you're gonna get booted back to Triple-A, you skeezer! 35 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,035 - Dad, where are we from? - We're from Boston, dummy! 36 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,746 Why do you think I talk in this accurate, regional dialect? 37 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,916 I know that, but, I mean, what is our background? 38 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,918 Why do I look different from the other kids? 39 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,212 Ah, shove it up your rear, you jack-off. 40 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:35,799 You're just the same as anybody else, and don't let nobody tell you different. 41 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,385 I just thought you could give me a little cultural context, 42 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,722 what with you being a tenured professor of Vietnamese history at Tufts and all. 43 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,598 Christ, Deedee, that's my job. 44 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,184 I wouldn't ask you to have a period on your day off. 45 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,603 What? Dad, it... Okay. 46 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,149 [Diane] But you're here, finally. 47 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,568 And it's comforting to see your name everywhere 48 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,820 and so many faces, that look like your face. 49 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,780 - Ah! Oh. - [speaking Vietnamese] 50 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,134 - Sorry, I don't... I don't speak... - [speaking Vietnamese] 51 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,035 - I don't... I don't understand you. - [speaking Vietnamese] 52 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,122 Oh, is this who you were looking for? 53 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,749 - Ouch! - [speaking Vietnamese] 54 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,835 I'm sorry. 55 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,756 [Diane] It's more foreign than you expected, but that's good. 56 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:20,844 You want to truly immerse yourself and get the full non-LA experience. 57 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,429 - [bike bell rings] - Ooh! 58 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,978 Because sometimes, to find yourself, 59 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,397 you need to get as far away from the world you know... 60 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,149 - Coming through! Hot set! - Ah! Ah! 61 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,150 [man] Movie lingo! 62 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,611 - [sighs] Excuse me, hi. - [bell dings] 63 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,071 - What's going on here? - Oh, isn't it exciting? 64 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:43,617 Some American filmmakers are shooting a movie, starring Laura Linney! 65 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,412 It's about a recently-divorced woman who comes to Vietnam to find herself. 66 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,038 [sighs] 67 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,002 [Diane] You came here to reconnect with your roots, 68 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,714 but now you feel stupid for even thinking that was possible. 69 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:02,177 You put on the clothing you bought, and... it... feels like a costume. 70 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,597 This is not your home. You're a tourist here. 71 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,810 Reason number two: you can be a tourist here! 72 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,230 - [camera shutter clicks] - [both speaking Vietnamese] 73 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,940 Can I have number two? 74 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,360 - Number two? - Ah. Yes. 75 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,238 [speaking Vietnamese] Number two. 76 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,698 Thank you. [speaking Vietnamese] [laughs] 77 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,157 [speaking Vietnamese] 78 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:26,910 [speaking Vietnamese] 79 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,913 [speaking Vietnamese] Thank you. 80 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,960 [Diane] Sometimes, it's just nice to take a vacation 81 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,128 and forget about everything you left behind... 82 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,506 - [phone vibrates] - I'm Peter Sagal. Don't wait, wait. 83 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,423 - [beeps] - Hello? 84 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,051 - Diane! - Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter. 85 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,554 Are you okay? You left my party without saying goodbye. 86 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,639 I was like, "Uh-oh, what happened to Diane?" 87 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,950 - Well... - Then I got distracted 88 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,134 because Todd got his tongue stuck to the ice sculpture. 89 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,352 By the time we got him off, 90 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355 his tongue was completely numb, which made him talk real funny. 91 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,774 - Mm-hmm. - Well, that got him in quite the situation 92 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,401 when the mob boss, at the roller rink, 93 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,528 thought he was making fun of his deaf sister. 94 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,697 I'm sorry, this is turning into a Todd story. 95 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,240 The point is, are you okay? 96 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,783 Oh, yeah, sorry. 97 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,036 [stammers] I just had a plane to catch, so... I'm in Vietnam now... 98 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,372 - Whoa. - ...but... I'll be back soon. 99 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,749 - Let me fetch you from the airport. - [bike bell rings] 100 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,044 Oh, that's okay. You don't want to deal with the traffic. 101 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,713 You know I love traffic. 102 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,133 I get to catch up on all those hilarious license plates I haven't read yet. 103 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,676 Okay. Thanks. 104 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,345 Great. Hey, I have to tell you... 105 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,973 I'm glad, I'm not still paying your phone bill 106 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,309 because this call must be costing a fortune! 107 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,745 Unless you remembered to call Ed for the international plan. 108 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,439 Of course I remembered to do that! But I have to hang up now. 109 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,858 Our conversation has reached a natural conclusion, goodbye. 110 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,568 - [phone beeps] - Ugh. 111 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,237 Number three: because you're single now 112 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,072 and you can do whatever you want. 113 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,366 Isn't it great being single? 114 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,076 [chuckles] It sure is! 115 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,038 I love that we're mature enough to still be in each other's lives. 116 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:53,955 I know! 117 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,809 Other divorced couples can't handle it, but we're handling it, so well, 118 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,168 because we are better than them. 119 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,378 Are we the best divorced couple? 120 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,297 - I think we might be. - Yeah. 121 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,176 How are you doing with those divorce papers? 122 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,803 - It's been several weeks now... Aah! - Hi, folks! I'm Pickles. 123 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,722 - Ooh! - Have you dined with us before? 124 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:11,932 - Yes. - Well... 125 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,434 the way it works around here is: you look at a menu, 126 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,354 pick what you want, I'll bring it to you, and then you pay at the end. 127 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,813 So, like, a restaurant. 128 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,483 - Ooh, sounds great. - Can I get you started with drinks? 129 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,484 Water would be great. 130 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,319 - Oh, my God, I love water. - Me, too! 131 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,071 - Uh-huh. - I'm 70 percent water! 132 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,114 - Okay. - Me, too! What are the odds? 133 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,408 So, two waters. Thank you. 134 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,829 So... Mr. Peanutbutter, the divorce papers. 135 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,308 - We need to... Aah! - It's me again, the same dog as before. 136 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,418 - Do you know what you'd like to order? - Are you bringing our waters? 137 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,964 - No. I forgot. Food, though? - Hmm, what do you like here? 138 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,257 - No, why would you ask... - Oh, I like everything. 139 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,636 In fact, at the end of my shift, I usually take everyone's leftover scraps 140 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,222 and put it in a trough and eat it up. Miam, miam, miam, miam! 141 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,307 - But don't mention that to my boss. - We won't. 142 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,810 But that does sound eclectic and delectable. 143 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,186 The trough of everything. 144 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,564 - Okay, and... - Whoa, somebody's not hungry at all. 145 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,609 - No, I am! I'm very hungry! - [laughs] 146 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,070 [shouting] And I'll have the Cobb salad! 147 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,031 - Why do you keep humoring her? - She's fun. 148 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,950 You know, if we were still married, 149 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,744 this would probably be enough to spiral us off into a big argument, 150 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,664 that isn't even about the waitress, and we would fight all night. 151 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,625 But since we're not married, I can just be like, whatever. 152 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,712 - This is truly great. - So... great. 153 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,964 We are doing so great. 154 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,589 Although... 155 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:31,803 I do get lonely sometimes in that big house all by myself. 156 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,264 Hey, why don't you have a housewarming party? 157 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,057 - Eh... - Yeah! 158 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,810 Now that you don't have a mean wife who hates parties... 159 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,253 He-he, you can finally live it up. 160 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:43,189 Okay, but only if you come. Promise? 161 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,942 I'll come if you have those divorce papers. 162 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:46,860 - Aah! - Me again. 163 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,987 What did you order? I didn't write it down. 164 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,196 - The trough! - Oh! 165 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,032 He wants the trough! 166 00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:01,916 Uh, xin... loi. Do you speak any English? 167 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,502 We... are... lost. 168 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,129 I actually speak all of the English. 169 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:12,719 - Oh! Your English... is very good. - I... am... American. 170 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:18,266 Yes. American. We... are... from... America. 171 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,560 I... am... from America. 172 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:24,814 No. Me America. You Vietnam. 173 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,067 No. Me America. 174 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:31,488 - Me America! - Me America, too. 175 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,240 Me am also America. 176 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,118 [Diane] Number four: To meet new people! 177 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,582 - Hell-oh, uh, I am with the movie. - [music playing] 178 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,752 No Vietnamese, but I want a drink. 179 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,252 Beer? 180 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,754 Glug-glug? 181 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,760 [Diane] Number five: Get out of your natural habitat. 182 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,598 We all work so hard to cultivate our homes, 183 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,893 but what are they other than a place to repeat negative patterns? 184 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,187 There. Last one. 185 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,605 And the first one. 186 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,233 I moved all this other stuff in while you were... stretching. 187 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,359 So much for helping. 188 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,612 Oh, did you need help deciding whether or not this place is a shithole? 189 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,780 Because help is on the way. 190 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,157 - It's a shithole. - I like it. 191 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,202 It's what I can afford and it makes me feel good to do it on my own. 192 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,830 When this place makes you too sad, you can always come over. 193 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:25,083 You'll have to say, "I'm a sad, sad girl with a terrible, dirty apartment," 194 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,336 - but I'll let you crash. - This is my home and I am proud of it. 195 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,422 - Where did you get all this junk? - It's not junk! 196 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,133 I just emptied out my storage unit. 197 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,010 This is the stuff that cool, 20-something Diane had to put away 198 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,138 when she moved in with old man Peanutbutter. 199 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,473 Oh, can we finally talk shit about Mr. Peanutbutter? 200 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,226 Like how he has dog breath and leaves his hair all over, 201 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,354 or is this one of those scam jobs where I talk shit 202 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,439 and you nod along, then you two get back together 203 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,323 and you hate me because I told you how I felt? 204 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,903 When have you not told me how you felt? All you do is tell me how you really feel. 205 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,738 This place smells weird. I want to go home. 206 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,341 - I don't tell you everything. - You do. 207 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,367 There's literally nothing you haven't told me. 208 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,995 Well, did I tell you this place smells weird? 209 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,580 Yes. Help me move this couch. 210 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,748 Okay, you get started. I'm gonna stretch first. 211 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,102 Anyway, Mr. Peanutbutter and I are still good friends. 212 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:08,960 Get the hammies. 213 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,603 I'm going to his housewarming party on Saturday. You should come. 214 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,505 "Come with?" 215 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,466 Diane, just because you have the couch of a girl in her 20s 216 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,219 does not mean that you are young enough to say "come with." 217 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,971 [grunts] There. 218 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,599 - [light bulb pops] - Yeesh. 219 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,185 I love it! This is my life now. 220 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:27,644 [drums] ♪ Hey! ♪ 221 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,481 - What's going on? - Oh, hi, Diane. 222 00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:33,818 [chuckles] Some cockroaches in IT tried to unionize, 223 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,196 so I just called an exterminator. [laughs] 224 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,449 - What? - Oh. Sorry, I meant negotiator. 225 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,742 Wait, no. Who did I call? 226 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,578 Anyway, we're gonna have to tent this place for the next month. 227 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,079 Can you work from home till then? 228 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,748 I need that listicle 229 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,584 on five empowering roles for women over 40, 230 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,212 that would be better played by Jennifer Lawrence. 231 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,547 - [people screaming] - What was that? 232 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,300 Oh, negotiations. Bye! 233 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,594 [mobile typing] 234 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:05,725 [Diane] Number six: To turn your work into a "work-cation." 235 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,687 [typing on laptop] 236 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,482 In this new era of connectivity, working outside 237 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,193 of the traditional workspace can ignite creativity... 238 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,737 - [cat meowing] - [toilet flushing] 239 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,781 - [water leaking] - Ew! 240 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:21,823 [door opens] 241 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,200 Uh? 242 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,870 I'm a sad, sad girl with a terrible, dirty apartment. 243 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:26,955 Come on in. 244 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,627 Okay, one more glass, and then I'm gonna head home. 245 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,630 Why don't you take the guest room? I could make urine stains on the carpet 246 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,113 and string up police tape so it feels more like home for you. 247 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,802 Thank you, but I'm excited to be on my own. 248 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,804 I can do whatever I want. 249 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:47,600 I can pick up in the middle of the night and go to Disney World, or... Vietnam. 250 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,353 Do you mean literally Vietnam or like when Old Navy told me 251 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,476 they were looking for a fresher face for their Performance Fleece commercials 252 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,733 - and they ended up with Sherman Hemsley? - What? 253 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,417 - [intense sounds] - That was my Vietnam. 254 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,363 I just mean I can finally do the things I've always wanted. 255 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,824 - I'm in a really good place. - Awesome! 256 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,910 [slurring] A really good place. 257 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,413 That's the thing people don't understand about me. 258 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,998 [slurring] I'm also in a good place. 259 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,541 I got this new job coming up, 260 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,711 so I'm gonna fly right, be tight, and sober up real good. 261 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,755 I'm working out a system so I only drink a little each day. 262 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,965 Mm... 263 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,693 - It's my cheat day. - [glass breaks] 264 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:25,680 Isn't it weird that this is the first time we're both been single at the same time? 265 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,349 Yeah. Why is it weird? 266 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,644 I mean, I know why I think it's weird, but you say a first thing. 267 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,187 It's just, uh... 268 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,606 Come on, you know why. 269 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,485 It's just weird. Like, we could totally make out right now. 270 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,530 - What? - No, I'm not saying we should. No. Pfft! 271 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:47,744 No. I'm just saying we could, and that's weird. I'm saying it's weird. 272 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,829 Oh. Uh, I guess so. 273 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,458 Not that I would. Oh, my God, that's so gross. 274 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,293 - You're gross. - You're being mean. 275 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,920 I'm allowed to be mean. I'm getting a divorce. 276 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,631 Okay, you get two more "divorce means," but then that's it. 277 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,883 I'm cutting you off. 278 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,301 Maybe I should go. 279 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,678 You sure you don't want to stay... in the guest room? 280 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,306 No. No, 'cause then that means I'm staying here. 281 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,142 And I cannot stay here again, not after last time. 282 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,436 - What do you mean? That was fun. - Was not. 283 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,354 I was a mess. 284 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:19,484 And then you left me in charge of things and then went who knows where. Michigan? 285 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,862 No, uh, no. That time I ended up in New Mexico. 286 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:27,367 I stayed with this family, got close with the daughter, but, um... 287 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,869 [mystery music] 288 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,372 Luckily, it worked out all fine. 289 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,707 No, and I-I got a boat, I came back, end of story. 290 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,626 Okay, buddy. [yawns] 291 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,212 Hey, Diane, can I ask you a... 292 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,880 [snoring] 293 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,173 Oh. Yeah. 294 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,967 [continuous snoring] 295 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,347 [Diane moans] 296 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,934 Oooooooh... [sighs] 297 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,311 - [snoring] - Oh... 298 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:59,607 [heavily snoring] 299 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,858 [door opens, closes] 300 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,902 [Diane] Reason number seven to go to Vietnam: 301 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,862 Your therapist tells you to. 302 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,156 Have you thought about going away for a little bit? 303 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,908 I don't need to go away. I'm good. 304 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:09,909 I have this client 305 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,453 who went through a surprisingly tough second divorce. 306 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,372 Let's just call her "Demi M." 307 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:18,209 And let's say that her first husband was called "Bruce." 308 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,502 Talking about Demi Moore? 309 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,297 You know I can't divulge personal information about my other clients, Diane. 310 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,966 I'll ask you to be respectful. 311 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,385 - But she and her second husband... - Ashton. 312 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,053 I cannot say, went on a trip, 313 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,640 and getting out of her routine allowed her to process things more honestly. 314 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,184 I just feel, like, I see myself very clearly already. 315 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,187 And what I see is that I am happy with my decision. 316 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,691 Mm-hmm. Another client of mine, Angelina J, 317 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,776 who has a lot of adopted kids... 318 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,735 Is she an actress? 319 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,279 As a matter of fact, no. 320 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,448 She thinks of herself as a director. 321 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,576 Wait a minute, do you talk about me in your sessions with other clients? 322 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,660 Oh, honey! 323 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,244 No. 324 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,081 [Vietnamese music] 325 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,001 I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm trying to get a beer. 326 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,585 Can you help me? 327 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,545 Ah? 328 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,339 [speaking Vietnamese] 329 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,717 Oh, my goodness. [chuckles] Thank you. 330 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,802 [Vietnamese music] 331 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,929 [swallowing beer] 332 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,513 Ah! 333 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,642 I know you can't really understand me, but I'm a nice American dude. 334 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,726 A good guy. 335 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,938 [both laugh] 336 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,149 Would you want to go for a walk to the markets? 337 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,319 I feel totally lost out there 338 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,905 and I could really use a local to help show me around. 339 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:29,988 Ah? 340 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,241 - [packing bag] - [Vietnamese music] 341 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,412 [speaking Vietnamese] 342 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:37,788 All right! 343 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:43,377 [Diane] Reason number eight: To discover a new you. 344 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,758 You let a handsome stranger follow you through the markets of Hanoi. 345 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,091 [chattering] 346 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:54,805 And the smells, sounds, and tastes transport you to another reality. 347 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,142 He tells you stories, he thinks you can't understand, 348 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,810 about his life in America, 349 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,313 and it's freeing to be this person he thinks you are, 350 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:05,816 this person who isn't bound by her own history or sadness. 351 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,737 This is a person who could do whatever she wants. 352 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,446 [both] Mm! 353 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:14,866 Wow! 354 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,119 I know this is crazy, but... 355 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,956 even though you can't understand a word I'm saying, 356 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,874 I feel like we have a real connection. 357 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,377 I want to show you something. 358 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,046 [joyful music] 359 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,216 [Diane] Oh! 360 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,636 This... is Ha Long Bay. 361 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,138 It's where Laura Linney comes to find herself. 362 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,393 I'll bet you've never been on a movie set before, huh? 363 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,105 I'm a grip. The executive grip. I basically run things here. 364 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,899 It's so cool to see my job through your eyes. 365 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,859 [both moaning] 366 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,613 - Ah! - Holy shit, a falling klieg light! 367 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,073 [man] Sorry! 368 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,784 - Uh, can you speak English? - [mystery music] 369 00:17:57,034 --> 00:18:01,664 No... I just heard someone say that sentence in an American movie once. 370 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:03,666 Also that sentence. 371 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,711 - Also, yes, I speak English. - What?! 372 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:07,920 - I'm from LA. - So what? 373 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,172 You were just pretending this whole time? 374 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,216 I was actually feeling something special here. 375 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:15,636 Really? It didn't strike you as weird that you talked for two hours straight 376 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,721 and I said nothing? 377 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,514 Or is that what felt special? 378 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,933 I am not the bad guy here. You're a liar! 379 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,270 Okay, and you got to have your little Miss Saigon cosplay, 380 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,813 so why don't we call it a draw? 381 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,773 - Get off my set! - Your set? 382 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:33,321 Nice try, buddy. I know what a grip does. At best, you're the best boy... at best. 383 00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,572 Are you kidding me? 384 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,283 Why does this happen to me every time I go on location? 385 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,994 [door slams] Ugh! 386 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,330 [Vietnamese music] 387 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,047 [Diane] Reason number nine to go to Vietnam: 388 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,466 Because it's good to get out of your routine. 389 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,361 Is that similar to reason number five: get out of your natural habitat? 390 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,054 No, it's a different thing. It's fine. 391 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,323 - It's whatever. - [door opens] 392 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,182 Ooh, hey. What are you doing here? 393 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,143 We're going to the party, remember? You told me to "come with." 394 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,771 - Why do you look so different? - Do you like it? [laughs] 395 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,065 It's a whole new, fun me. 396 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,652 My therapist thought I needed to get out of my routine. I mean, I thought it, too. 397 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,905 It was mostly me who thought it, but my therapist also... [sighs] 398 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,533 - Ta da! - Did you get a longer neck or something? 399 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,203 I did not get a longer neck. It's a haircut. 400 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,372 - Does it make my neck look long? - No. 401 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,290 Uh, you actually look amazing. 402 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,377 Don't try to take advantage just 'cause I'm all vulnerable right now. 403 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,213 Jesus, lady! I'm just trying to give you a compliment! 404 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,924 - Relax, I was joking. - Were you? 405 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,095 - [sighs] Let's just go to the party. - God, you're all over the place. 406 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,222 - You hate parties. - I don't hate parties. 407 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,517 - You hate parties. I'm fun. - Okay, you know what? Forget this. 408 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,268 - I'm sorry. BoJack... - Hey. 409 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,647 Your haircut looks great. Mr. Peanutbutter's gonna love it. 410 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,315 [door creaking] 411 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,778 [dance music playing] 412 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,405 [chattering] 413 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,282 - Hey, Diane! - Hey. 414 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,286 - I love what you did to your neck. - I didn't... 415 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,328 Did you see that ice sculpture? 416 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,456 I am definitely not going to lick it. Don't worry. 417 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:08,999 Okay. 418 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,043 Anyway, I can't stay long 419 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,421 because I'm supposed to go to the roller rink later. 420 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,815 - Uh-huh. - I hope, there won't be 421 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,215 - any mob bosses there. - Well... 422 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,051 What am I saying? That's so random. 423 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:22,263 - Have you seen Mr. Peanutbutter? - I don't know. Did you check the library? 424 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,472 - Ugh. - 'Kay, I gotta go. 425 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,100 There's a letter I wanna send. I need to lick the stamp. 426 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,685 Hopefully, I'll remember to do it 427 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,020 - before I put my roller skates on... - Okay. 428 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,440 ...so I don't accidentally miss the stamp with my tongue 429 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,442 and then roll down the stairs with my tongue out 430 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,194 and then smack right into the ice sculpture with my tongue. 431 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,865 That would be pretty bad, but I wouldn't put it past me. 432 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,452 - [dance music continuous] - [people chatting] 433 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,662 Who are all these people? 434 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,292 - Mr. Peanutbutter. There you are! - Diane, nice haircut! 435 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,419 - Oh, this? No, I didn't... - Yeah! 436 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,714 It really brings out the neck of your... neck. 437 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,424 Okay, well, that's... 438 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:01,552 Hey, don't go anywhere, okay? I want to talk to you. 439 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,888 - Oh. [chuckles] How was... - Erica! 440 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,223 What are you doing here with a child-sized coffin? 441 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,266 [sighs] 442 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,770 Oh, my God, are you okay? I saw everything. 443 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,062 Yeah, I'm fine. 444 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,773 I can't pick sides in this divorce 445 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,816 because I'm good friends with the both of you, 446 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:20,321 but I want you to know, no matter what, I'm here for you and also there for him. 447 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,073 And if you ever need anything, just let me know 448 00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:25,910 and I'll be your rock, as long as it doesn't conflict with me 449 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,996 also being Mr. Peanutbutter's rock, or my work, 450 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,581 which is keeping me very busy. 451 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:32,249 Excuse me, I have to take this. 452 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,419 Hi, Flip? Yeah, are we sure we need this strip club set? 453 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:39,215 Because once we put the deposit down, we cannot get that money back. 454 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,092 - [dance music continuous] - [people chatting] 455 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:48,681 [sighs] 456 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,227 [Diane] Reason number ten to go to Vietnam: 457 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,479 Because you've gotta leave to come back home. 458 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,482 - [phone beeps] - [line ringing] 459 00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:59,276 - [BoJack] Hello? - Hey. 460 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:00,735 - Hey. - [sad tune] 461 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:05,491 I'm sorry. I've been so weird. I'm going through some shit. 462 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:06,950 I know. 463 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,454 Yeah. And I just really need a friend right now. 464 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,164 You know what I mean? 465 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:13,581 A friend? 466 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,251 Yeah. I get it. 467 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,586 Okay. Thanks. 468 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,422 - This is Diane, by the way. - Nguyen? 469 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,259 - Yeah. Nguyen. - [phone beeps] 470 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,262 [Diane] You're not entirely sure what life will be like when you get home, 471 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:30,432 but maybe that's good because that means anything could happen. 472 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,062 - Oh, my God, you're Laura Linney! - People say that to me all the time. 473 00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:37,606 And it's true. I am Laura Linney. 474 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,650 I'm so sorry to bother you, but I have to ask, 475 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,194 the movie you were filming, what happens at the end? 476 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,041 You get divorced, you go to Vietnam to find yourself, but then what? 477 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:46,072 How does it work out? 478 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,117 - Well, I do find myself. - Oh. 479 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,451 - My clone. - Oh. 480 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,912 - And she's shacked up with my ex. - Hmm? 481 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:55,124 I fly into a jealous rage and gut him with a machete, 482 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,007 but not before realizing that this whole thing 483 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,460 goes all the way to the top. 484 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,463 So me and my clone have to team up and head to Dubai. 485 00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:04,133 A lot of it is setting up the franchise. You know how it is. 486 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,219 - Um... it's an action movie? - And a love story. 487 00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:09,471 Me and my clone have a steamy make-out scene, 488 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:12,600 - which is hot but also very progressive. - [PA system beeps] 489 00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:15,019 Excuse me. Can I get some pretzels? I'm Laura Linney. 490 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:19,106 [Diane] But none of those reasons are why you actually went to Vietnam. 491 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,942 [plane taking off] 492 00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,444 Hey, stranger. 493 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,654 - [joyful tune] - [Mr. Peanutbutter chuckles] 494 00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:28,108 Yeah, so, if it all looks good to you and your lawyer, 495 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,576 you can sign it, too, and then it'll be official. 496 00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,203 - Divorce completed. - Yay! 497 00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:36,707 - We did it. - Take that, our marriage! 498 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:40,920 - Well, I guess I'll see you around? - Yeah. 499 00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:43,542 - Oh! I was going for the... - Oh, sorry. Did you...? 500 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,299 - [laughs] - Sorry. Just go all the way. 501 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,842 - Well, bye. - Cool. 502 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,430 Diane, wait. I actually have something to tell you. 503 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,059 I... don't know the best way to say this, but... 504 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:56,769 I'm seeing someone. 505 00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:58,353 Romantically. 506 00:23:58,854 --> 00:23:59,854 Who isn't you. 507 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,691 That was probably not the best way to say it. 508 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:04,735 [dance music playing] 509 00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:05,986 So, as I was saying, 510 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,238 being there for you right now is my top pri... 511 00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:10,407 - [phone vibrates, beeps] - Oh. Hold on. Stuart! 512 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:15,704 There's a fire extinguisher under my desk. Oh, that's what's on fire? In that case... 513 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:20,167 [Diane] The real reason you go to Vietnam 514 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:23,212 is because you accidentally see your soon-to-be ex-husband 515 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,588 kiss someone else. 516 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:25,673 [both chuckle] 517 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:29,802 At first you think, "Oh, it's a fling. Whatever, they're drunk, it's a party." 518 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:31,303 [sad tune] 519 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:33,188 But he puts his hand on the small of her back 520 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,766 exactly the way he used to do to you. 521 00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:36,849 [both] Mmm. 522 00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:39,728 - It means "I've got you," - [sad tunes continue] 523 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,815 and when he did it to you, it made you feel safe. 524 00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:46,694 And you realize he will never do that to you again. 525 00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,864 - [crying] - And it breaks your heart, again... 526 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,826 after your heart was so broken that you thought 527 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,078 it could never get any more broken. 528 00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,038 You thought it was safe, 529 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,291 but it still, somehow, finds a new way to break. 530 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,837 Because, even though, you're the one who asked for this, 531 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,424 now that you've got it, you are completely adrift 532 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:13,637 with no compass, or map, or sense of where to go, or what to do. 533 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:16,098 So you go to Vietnam. 534 00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:21,770 You think you might find community, a connection to something bigger, 535 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,230 but... you don't. 536 00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:27,693 In fact, you feel even more alone than you were before you left. 537 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,571 But... you survive. 538 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,865 [sad tunes continue] 539 00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,784 You learn that you can survive being alone. 540 00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:39,204 [sad tunes intense] 541 00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,329 [sighs] 542 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,958 I'm really happy for you, Mr. Peanutbutter. 543 00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,752 [night crickets] 544 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:48,130 [singing in Vietnamese]