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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
2
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[classical music playing]
3
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[man on TV] Can't you see?
You don't belong here!
4
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,808
Destiny has bigger plans for you.
Oh, yes.
5
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- [woman on TV] But this is my home.
- [rooster crows]
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It's the only home I've ever known!
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- [voices]
- [man] You were made for the skies.
8
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,984
Why do you think
they named you Amelia Earhart?
9
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It's because your heart...
belongs in the air.
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[reciting Amelia's lines]
It's true, that is my name.
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00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:35,702
- Ah! Boots, leave your sister alone!
- She started it!
12
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Well, stop it right now
or I'll pop the both of you.
13
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So, put on those flygirl goggles,
get in your biplane and fly to the sun.
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[reciting] But a woman's never flown
to the sun before.
15
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Come on! What other gal's
got the get-up-and-go
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to tame those savage sun beasts
and become their queen?
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00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,526
How many times
have you watched this tape?
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00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,836
When you get me a second tape,
I'll watch something else.
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What am I, made of tapes?
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[man] That's the spirit!
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[reciting] I suppose the most effective
way to do it is to do it!
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[phone buzzing, meowing]
23
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[sighs] Hello?
24
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How the hell do they expect me to learn
five pages of dialogue in one day?
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- What am I, Young Sheldon?
- BoJack...
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No show should have that much talking.
TV is a visual medium.
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- Anyway, where the hell are you?
- Eden, North Carolina.
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Ugh, North Carolina?
That's the second worst of the Carolinas.
29
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- You know I'm from here, right?
- Yeah, and you got out.
30
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You know what "from" means?
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You don't have to be there anymore.
That's why they call it "from."
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Okay, I'm about to be
from this conversation.
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Wait, wait. I'm sorry.
Can we just talk about Mr. Peanutbutter?
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Why did you cast him on this show?
Everybody loves him.
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I'm the guy everybody's supposed to love.
I'm Philbert.
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- Ugh!
- So then I got a food truck for the crew
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with a big sign that said,
"From your favorite star,"
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but everybody thought
it was from Mr. Peanutbutter.
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They didn't even read the sign.
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BoJack, I'm gonna be back tomorrow.
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Do you think you can handle your shit
until then?
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Oh, yeah, that sounds like me.
What are you doing there anyway?
43
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Just... taking care of some family stuff.
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[series theme music playing]
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Thanks for coming, all this way.
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- We could've just talked on the phone.
- I wanted to meet you in person.
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That's the Princess Carolyn difference.
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Ooh! I've never met a person who had
a difference named after them before.
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Well, this is important.
We're here to talk about your baby.
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I know what you're thinking;
another dumb teenager,
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so liquored up, she forgot to make sure
her boyfriend wrapped his tweedle.
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Well, that's all true,
but I'm not some backwoods hick.
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- Oh!
- I'm 18, I got my whole life ahead of me,
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and it's not like my boyfriend's begging
me to marry him.
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Boyfriends rarely do.
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- His name's Strib, short for Dennis.
- Uh, sure.
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He's not exactly the romantic type,
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but he's got those eyes
you just can't say no to, you know?
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I hope you and Strib have
many happy child-free years, together.
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I'm willing to do whatever I can
to help contribute to the child-free part.
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- Hmm.
- [phone buzzing, meowing]
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Oh, sorry. It's work.
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Everyone I work with is such a baby.
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And I love babies!
[laughs]
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Hello, baby.
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Hey, listen, I know Flip
just wants me to be "the woman",
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and keep my mouth shut,
but this show makes no sense.
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In the rooftop motorcycle scene,
Fritz and Philbert keep saying,
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"This is so dangerous."
"Yeah, man. We're really dangerous."
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But then they just get off
the motorcycles.
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Why aren't they skidding
towards the side of the building,
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and then they roll off just as their bikes
go careening over the edge?
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00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,835
Okay, sure, pitch it to Flip.
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Everything I pitch, he shoots down.
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That's just because it's coming
from someone who isn't him.
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If you want him to like your idea,
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just convince him
he thought of it, himself.
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You really think he'll do it
because I say it's his idea?
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That's a great idea, Diane.
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Oh, thanks! I'm gonna do it.
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- So sorry.
- No problem.
82
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Um, just so you know, I have met with
some other candidates, mostly couples.
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Oh.
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I couldn't believe I found someone
who grew up in Eden.
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- When's the last time you were here?
- Oh, not since my mother died.
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- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It was a long time ago.
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- She's still dead, though.
- That is true.
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[sipping]
89
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- Sorry we had to meet at Phuzzy's.
- I love Phuzzy's.
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I bet you got fancy restaurants
in LA, huh?
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00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,545
Probably a California Pizza Kitchen
on every corner.
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00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,149
Or do y'all call it "Pizza Kitchen,"
since you're in California?
93
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,259
No, we call it "California Pizza Kitchen,"
or "CPK."
94
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CPK? What kind of city person's too busy
to say "California Pizza Kitchen"?
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00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,724
You gotta catch a bus or something?
Stay a while and say the whole name.
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Yeah, yeah, well, I'm not like that.
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I live in Los Angeles now,
but you know what they say,
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you can take the girl
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out of the Greensboro-High Point
metropolitan area, but you can't take
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the Greensboro-High Point
metropolitan area out of the girl.
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I wish my boyfriend would've taken
his penis out of the girl.
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- Meaning, I wish he would've pulled out.
- Yeah, no, I got it.
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Thank you.
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Ooh, have I missed this!
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I'm gonna eat the shit
out of these hush puppies,
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and then tomorrow,
I'm getting a real sausage biscuit,
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meaning a sausage patty,
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not that bullshit link situation
they call "sausage" in LA.
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[both laughing]
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Oh, my goodness, I gotta pee.
I'll be right back.
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- [grunts, sighs]
- [phone buzzing, meowing]
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- Hello?
- Princess Carolyn!
113
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I just wanted to tell you what a ball
I'm having on this crazy cop show.
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Glad to hear it.
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And my favorite star paid
for a food truck.
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I don't know why Peter Scolari is buying
me a falafel plate,
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00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,862
but, hey, I'm not complaining.
118
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,822
- Did you have a question?
- Yeah.
119
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,658
So, I know my ex-wife is
in the writers' room.
120
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:11,037
I don't want to make things weird for her
or anybody else, so...
121
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do I have to do all the dialogue,
as scripted,
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or can I have a little fun with it?
123
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,211
- Um...
- Normally, I wouldn't even ask,
124
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,547
but because of the whole ex-wife
of it all,
125
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,466
I figured I should just double-check
that it's definitely okay
126
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,218
if I change every single word.
127
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,220
Knowing Flip,
I would just stick to the script.
128
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,638
So, don't flip the script?
129
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,766
- Exactly. Don't flip Flip's script.
- That's a double-flip.
130
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,250
So, you're saying I should flip it?
131
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,728
I'm saying the exact opposite.
132
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,397
- So, flip it. Flip it good.
- Okay, I gotta go.
133
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,067
You're very funny and talented.
Goodbye. Sorry. Show folk.
134
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,404
Well, this was a pleasure.
Thanks for coming all this way.
135
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,156
I do hope to make a decision soon.
136
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,242
- Oh, you have to leave already?
- Yeah, I gotta go set up my booth.
137
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,911
- Your booth?
- At the flea market.
138
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,954
I sell clothes I bought cheap
and then bedazzled.
139
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,123
I'm not saying I'm the Danville Target
or nothing,
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but it's good enough for fleas.
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00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,543
Okay, call me if you have
any other questions.
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I always answer my phone,
day or night.
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Thanks.
144
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,424
[bell jingles]
145
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,310
- [water dripping]
- [grunting, sighs]
146
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,771
Your mom's drunk again, isn't she?
147
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,565
My mom, well, obviously she was planning
on cleaning the floors,
148
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,275
but I asked her if I could do it.
149
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,653
I wanna learn all the tricks of the trade,
so one day,
150
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,529
I can be as good a housekeeper
as she is.
151
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,990
Why do you still live here?
152
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,201
Why don't you go live with your dad
down in Raleigh?
153
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,911
All my sisters and brothers are gone.
154
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,746
If I leave, my mom's got nobody.
155
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:38,625
Besides, if I go,
who's going to keep you out of trouble?
156
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,002
Did you know I'm on the football team?
157
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,588
[chuckles] I do know it.
Are you ever gonna play?
158
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,256
Probably not, smart-ass.
159
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,968
Not unless the first-string quarterback
gets hurt.
160
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,011
Why aren't you
the first-string quarterback?
161
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,805
You're not even
first-string housekeeper!
162
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,057
Well, how about I first-string punch you
in the nose?
163
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,643
Oh! Okay, easy, easy.
164
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,354
Look, I think if I just keep my head down
and be patient,
165
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,940
Coach will eventually realize
I should be QB one, you know?
166
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,817
That's a terrible approach.
167
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,652
You need to go after what you want.
168
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,780
You gotta fly into that sun,
like Amelia Earhart did.
169
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,448
- What?
- You know, like in the movie.
170
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,785
I never knew anybody who liked old movies
as much as you do.
171
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,287
You're 18.
You never knew anybody, period.
172
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,664
Okay, okay.
173
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,001
But what if I'm not as good a quarterback
as I think I am?
174
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,336
Doesn't matter.
You don't need to be good enough.
175
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,672
You just need to convince your coach
you're good enough.
176
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,382
Damn! You know what?
177
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,802
- I'll talk to him tomorrow.
- Don't leave until you get that yes.
178
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,431
- [bell jingling]
- Oh!
179
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,807
[panting]
180
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,518
- Sadie, wait!
- Oh. Um, hey.
181
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,688
Listen, I really want to spend more time
getting to know each other.
182
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,691
This baby, your baby,
means everything to me.
183
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,693
I think the more time we spend together,
184
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,486
- you'll realize I'm...
- [phone meowing]
185
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,448
- Do you need to take that?
- No, it's fine. The perfect candidate.
186
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,034
I thought you always answered your phone,
day or night.
187
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,910
Right. Hello?
188
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,495
I just got off the phone with Flip.
189
00:08:57,579 --> 00:09:00,749
He's really excited about
this new motorcycle stunt he came up with.
190
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,419
- He wants to do it tomorrow, but...
- That's Flip, full of ideas. Gotta go.
191
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:08,757
Well, the show is already way over budget
and my boss is starting to ask questions.
192
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,343
Now, normally, I love questions
because they're good for pondering,
193
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,095
but I guess in the corporate world,
194
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,557
when people ask questions,
they expect someone to answer them.
195
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,602
And, apparently,
"Yeah, wow, it really makes you think,"
196
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,063
is not the kind of answer
they're looking for.
197
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,064
Goodbye, Todd.
198
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,440
- Wait, one more thing.
- What?
199
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,402
Do you think Lake Erie ever gets jealous
of Lake Superior?
200
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,322
Or is it, like, proud to be the eerie one?
201
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,991
We've been through this, Todd.
Lakes don't have emotions.
202
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,409
What about Ricki Lake?
203
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:40,580
As I was saying, I'd love to spend
more time together, if you're up for it.
204
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,041
You mentioned the flea market.
I'd love to check it out.
205
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,877
- Yeah, come by anytime tomorrow.
- I thought it was today.
206
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,879
No, no. I just have to prep for it today.
207
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,256
But if you can stay another day,
that would be awesome.
208
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,050
But only if you can. I know you're busy.
209
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,428
I don't want me, or my baby,
to get in the way of your career.
210
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,348
Sadie, I'll be there.
211
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,266
[Sadie grunting]
212
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,976
- [engine starts]
- Toodle-oos! [laughs]
213
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,395
- [gasps] Ah! Oh!
- [phone dialing]
214
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,233
Stuart, I need you to change my flight.
No, just do it through the website.
215
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,444
Yeah, no, go to the website
and put in my confirmation number.
216
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,488
Hold on, let me see if I can find it.
217
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,532
It's 5-2-1-8.
218
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,450
Change it to a Wednesday flight.
219
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,787
No. Oh, okay, click "yes."
Click "yes."
220
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,455
Okay, put in my credit card info.
221
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,582
- I'll text you a picture.
- [camera shutter clicks]
222
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,543
- [phone whooshes]
- Okay, did you get it?
223
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,836
Check your work email.
224
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,797
Okay, click "accept."
Now forward me the confirmation.
225
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,716
Thank you, Stuart.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
226
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,552
[deep breath, sighs]
227
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,180
[Cooper humming] Ow!
228
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,807
- Hey.
- Hey, yourself.
229
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,309
Well, you've been up to something.
230
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:47,689
I'm up to something, all right.
It's called first-string quarterback!
231
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,482
- [cheering]
- Really?
232
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:53,194
- I didn't leave until I got the yes.
- Oh, congratulations! Ah!
233
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,696
- Oh!
- Oops. [chuckles]
234
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,615
- Sorry. I got a little carried away there.
- That's okay.
235
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,825
- [kisses] Oh!
- [gasps]
236
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,243
- Sorry. Sorry.
- That's okay.
237
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,036
[both laugh]
238
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,289
[both moaning]
239
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,301
[man on TV] By Jove, she's doing it!
She's flying to the sun!
240
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,011
That's where she's going.
241
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:22,223
Now we don't need to be sad
when we think about her, later.
242
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,310
- [mom snoring, TV playing]
- [switching off TV]
243
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:28,563
- I'd be careful if I were you.
- What do you mean?
244
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,940
Think I don't know what's going on?
245
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,984
- Mom.
- Let me tell you something.
246
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,278
Life is a big ol' roulette wheel.
247
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,031
Everyone's got a number.
Some are winners, some aren't.
248
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,658
It all depends
where the little white ball lands.
249
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:44,204
The problem is when people
with losing numbers think they're winners.
250
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,122
I don't know what you're talking about.
251
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,791
- Then what the hell are these?
- College brochures. I...
252
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:52,337
You think you're going
to some fancy college in California,
253
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,465
all the way on the other side
of the country from your mother?
254
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,800
- You're gonna abandon me?
- Mom, it's not about you.
255
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,679
UCLA?
No, you will not see LA.
256
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,974
Even if you get into one of these places,
how're you gonna pay for it?
257
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,310
I'll get a job or a paid internship.
258
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:11,314
Well, la-di-da, I did not realize
I was in the presence of someone,
259
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:15,693
- who was gonna get a paid internship.
- Mom, you need to go to bed.
260
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,821
See, that's the difference
between you and me, Princess Carolyn.
261
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,824
I know where I belong.
This is my bed.
262
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,993
No, it's not.
Where's my bed?
263
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,080
- [phone buzzing, meowing]
- [mom, distorted] I know where I belong.
264
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,892
- Hello?
- I thought you were gonna be here today.
265
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,356
- Where are you?
- Something came up.
266
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,128
Okay, well, listen, Mr. Peanutbutter's
doing all his own stunts,
267
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,798
and every time he does
a dumb little somersault,
268
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,217
everybody goes nuts
like he's goddamn Kerri Strug.
269
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,469
Kerri Strug?
You gotta update your references.
270
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,596
When the world sees
the likes of Kerri Strug, again,
271
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,139
I will adjust accordingly.
272
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,392
Anyway, I said I wanted to do
my own stunts, too,
273
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,019
but little did I know
that Flip was writing a new scene,
274
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,855
where a motorcycle falls off
a five-story building.
275
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,274
Just say you don't want to do it.
276
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,235
I cannot do that
because I already fired my stunt double,
277
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,570
so I also need you to call him
and get him back,
278
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,407
and that might be tricky,
'cause I was really brutal about it.
279
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,325
- Why?
- Because people were watching.
280
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,495
Now I need you to intervene
and forbid me from doing my own stunts,
281
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,998
even though I want to,
because I actually don't want to,
282
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:13,209
because that would require me to be
in good shape, which we know I'm not,
283
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,295
and also not a coward,
which we both know I am.
284
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,796
- BoJack...
- Also, if you could say
285
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,340
it's because I'm too important a star
to take the risk on,
286
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,224
but Mr. Peanutbutter can keep doing
his stunts
287
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,178
because he is less important;
that would be real cool, thanks.
288
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,430
Fine, I'll handle it!
289
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,724
Just stop whining like a little bitch!
290
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,477
[laughs]
Okay, love you, bitch!
291
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,395
- [beep]
- Hey, girl!
292
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,106
Hey! I'm so glad you came.
This is my stuff.
293
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,233
- I call it Made-y by Sadie.
- Wow!
294
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,152
Problem is got a bunch of lookie-loos.
295
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,029
Everyone's browsing,
but no one's buying.
296
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,573
It's not about people buying.
İt's about you selling.
297
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,490
Watch this.
298
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,784
Whoa!
Hey, you can't get that jacket.
299
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,786
- Why not?
- I was gonna get it.
300
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,789
It's the best thing in this whole place
and I saw it first.
301
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,542
So, why don't you make like yourself
and flee?
302
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,961
I got it now.
Maybe I'm gonna buy it.
303
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,755
- [grunts]
- Five dollars.
304
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,966
[gasps] Oh, my God!
305
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,593
Sadie, you can sell anything,
306
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,721
if you just sell people the idea
that they're not being sold to.
307
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,057
Wow!
That's pretty manipulative.
308
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,642
But I didn't need to
because your clothing sells itself.
309
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,644
Hey, I guess you're right.
310
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,229
[groans] My back aches.
311
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,939
- I gotta sit down.
- Oh!
312
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,692
- Here.
- [bear growls]
313
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,194
Smart move adopting.
314
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,404
Let someone else do all the work, right?
[chuckles]
315
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,281
Girl, you do not wanna be pregnant.
316
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,578
Ugh! What am I gonna do?
317
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,038
My life's over.
318
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,749
No! Are you kidding?
This is a good thing.
319
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:38,211
- That boy's stuck with you, now.
- Stuck with me?
320
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,838
No, good stuck,
like when you try on
321
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,049
your friend's fancy ring
and it won't come off.
322
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,509
Now you got a free ring.
323
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,873
You know, Evelyn still expects you
to give that ring back.
324
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,513
That sounds like an Evelyn problem.
325
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:52,850
Meanwhile, that little white roulette ball
just landed on your number.
326
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,019
You know the Wallaces are good people.
327
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,563
- They're gonna do right by you.
- [sobbing]
328
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,856
No, don't cry. Look.
329
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,359
They're gonna have you move
into the big house,
330
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,319
probably in the big room.
331
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,696
You know, the one with all the dolls.
332
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,491
And I'll be right up here
whenever you need me.
333
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,661
Hey, I wanna give you this.
334
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,080
Did you steal this from Evelyn, too?
335
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:18,709
Your... grammy gave me this necklace
when I first got pregnant.
336
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,421
It's been in our family for generations.
337
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,256
It's from the old country.
338
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,465
And when you wear this,
339
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:28,594
I want you to remember that you've come
from a long line of women,
340
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:32,515
who've taken our licks,
but we always land on our feet.
341
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,768
- Don't we?
- [grunts]
342
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,895
Now listen to me. This is our shot.
343
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,149
- Don't blow it, okay?
- [sniffles] Okay.
344
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:42,984
[Sadie] Princess Carolyn?
345
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,904
- Yeah.
- Would you want to meet my family?
346
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,383
- Of course.
- There's a potluck at the church, tonight.
347
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,453
- I love a church potluck!
- Oh! What church do you go to in LA?
348
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:58,458
Oh, uh, St. Mary's Good Shepherd
of the Lady... of the Passion...
349
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:03,963
of the Constant Gardener...
of Latter-Day Belle and Sebastian.
350
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,726
You got time for that, but you can't say
"California Pizza Kitchen"?
351
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,801
I love church and I love the Lord.
352
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,303
God is my back-door pilot.
353
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,346
I wish Strib was a back-door pilot.
354
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,724
Maybe then I wouldn't be pregnant.
[chuckles]
355
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,434
- [whispers] Anal sex.
- Got it.
356
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,271
[chatter]
357
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,041
That's my mom. That woman's been banged
more times than a screen door
358
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,192
during hurricane season.
359
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:25,610
- Oh!
- But I love her.
360
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,903
That's my sister Tanya.
361
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,154
Thinks she's so smart.
362
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,614
If you're so smart, Tanya,
363
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,699
why do you live
on a dry-docked pontoon boat?
364
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,826
- Good one!
- She's got a great heart.
365
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,070
And, finally, the cousins.
I've slept with all of them.
366
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,121
- Wow!
- I'm just kidding.
367
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,457
- I'm from North Carolina, not Tennessee.
- [laughing]
368
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,836
Hope you like ambrosia, since everyone
brought the exact same dish; ambrosia.
369
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,379
Ah, it's beautiful out here.
370
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,340
Look at all those stars!
371
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,176
- You don't have stars in LA?
- Not like these.
372
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,636
Too much light pollution.
373
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,012
And heavy pollution.
374
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,352
[Princess Carolyn shivering]
375
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,899
[sighs]
My dad's ready to see you.
376
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,484
[sighs]
377
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,528
- We better not.
- [groans]
378
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,698
[Mr. Wallace clearing throat]
379
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:18,162
Oh, I gotta tell you, when my idiot son
told me he'd knocked up the help, I...
380
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,206
Let me try that again.
381
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:23,417
Princess Carolyn,
we're going to do the right thing, here.
382
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,920
You'll have a lovely wedding
before you start to show.
383
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,256
If it's a girl, we'll name her Dorothy
after my mother.
384
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,717
Of course, if it's a boy, he'll be
the third Cooper Thomas Rogers Wallace,
385
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,638
so you'll call him Cooper III,
or Cooper Three, Trip, Trey or Lil' Coop.
386
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,224
You'll join the Junior League,
maybe sing in the Follies.
387
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,107
Mrs. Wallace will teach you
how to play bridge
388
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,229
and destroy other families' social status
through indelicate gossip.
389
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,112
- Oh...
- We'll go to Hilton Head every summer
390
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,984
and take a photo of all of us on the beach
wearing khaki and white.
391
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,443
This will be our Christmas card.
392
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,613
Inside, it will say "Merry Merry"
or "Seasons Greetings,"
393
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,949
so as not to alienate our friends
of other faiths,
394
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,576
but we'll know it's Christmas.
395
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,078
Princess Carolyn, I know you're scared,
396
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,164
but I promise you,
you've got a great life ahead of you.
397
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,585
No worries, no tough choices
and no money troubles,
398
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,921
thanks to the Wallace and Sons
Answering Machine Tape empire.
399
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:13,092
Yes, as long as people need answering
machine tapes, you will be taken care of.
400
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,677
- Sound good?
- Yes.
401
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,929
Ah, ah, ah. Wait for the beep.
402
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,056
Sound good? Beep!
403
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767
- Yes, sir.
- [phone buzzing, meowing]
404
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,978
[back to present time] Hello?
405
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,147
Princess Carolyn,
there's been an accident.
406
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,940
BoJack's hurt real bad.
407
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,067
Ow! I'm in so much pain.
408
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,028
I'm like Kerri Strug over here.
409
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,113
Where's my big Russian guy?
410
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,114
What happened?
411
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,783
- He fell off a building is what happened.
- Oh!
412
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:38,701
Are you okay?
413
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,872
I mean, I know you're not okay, okay,
but you're okay, right?
414
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,874
Why did you let him do his own stunts?
415
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,335
- That was today?
- Of course it was today.
416
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,379
I put a sticky on your day page
at our sister site
417
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,548
WhatDateIsItRightNow.net.
418
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,676
- Oh!
- Do you even check your day page?
419
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,429
Every part of me hurts.
Sartre was wrong.
420
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,224
Physical pain is so much worse
than prolonged emotional distress.
421
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,185
What a hack!
422
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:07,688
We're supposed to be shooting, all week.
You're behind schedule and over budget.
423
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,607
I'm sending you the number
of a specialist.
424
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,401
He can fix BoJack up
and inject him full of enough pep
425
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,365
to keep things together
until end of production.
426
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,572
- Sadie!
- [mother] No, no, no, no, Strib!
427
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,782
[sister] Go away!
428
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,505
- So I call this number...
- [phone beeps]
429
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,202
Strib, what are you doing here?
430
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,538
I mean, I guess I was wrong, maybe.
Maybe you don't give the baby away.
431
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,333
Like, maybe keep it.
I mean, I guess I could marry you.
432
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,293
Have a family and stuff. I don't know!
433
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,712
A grand gesture?
This is like a fairy tale!
434
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,506
Strib, I can't do this again.
435
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,635
- Come on. I love you or whatever.
- Go to him, Sadie. He loves you.
436
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,137
Don't listen to her, Sadie.
She lives in a pontoon boat.
437
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,723
Y'all gonna be beggin' for a ride
when the flood comes.
438
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,393
- Oh, my God.
- Somebody gotta get him outta here.
439
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,896
- [people arguing]
- Hey! Sadie? Sadie.
440
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,648
[voices overlapping]
441
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,321
You blew it!
We were this close, and you blew it.
442
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,865
- [sighs] Mom.
- What the hell happened?
443
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,744
You eat a pineapple or something?
Put something up there you shouldn't have?
444
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,414
No. It just...
I don't know, it just happened.
445
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:10,209
Miscarriages don't "just happen."
This was our ticket.
446
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,962
That baby would've changed
everything for us.
447
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,632
[sobs] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
448
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,093
[sighs] It's not your fault.
449
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,221
We just got losing numbers.
450
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,682
Well, maybe Cooper will marry me, anyway?
451
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:28,644
Oh, sweetie, you've been watching
too many of those old movies.
452
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,188
Coopers don't marry gals like you.
453
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:35,860
He's gonna end up with some fancy heiress,
like Samantha Floppy-Disk.
454
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,571
Besides, you don't want that life.
455
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,574
- You're free now.
- Free to do what?
456
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:46,287
I wasn't gonna tell you,
but this came in the mail.
457
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,370
[gasps]
458
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,711
[phone buzzing, meowing]
459
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,380
- Hello?
- I guess you heard about BoJack?
460
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,591
- Yeah.
- This is all my fault.
461
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,551
I thought the stunt was Flip's idea.
462
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,345
Well, no, I just convinced him
it was his idea.
463
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:07,016
That's not what I heard.
I heard it was Flip's idea.
464
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,019
- Right, but that's just...
- It was Flip's idea.
465
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,261
How are you not getting this?
466
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,354
Do you only seem smart
because you wear glasses?
467
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,858
[sighs] Okay, it was Flip's idea.
468
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,276
Great. I'll see you tomorrow.
469
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,903
- Hey.
- Hey.
470
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,407
Listen, I've known me some Stribs.
A little sweet, a little dangerous.
471
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,826
But the second things get complicated,
he'll run away.
472
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:29,038
- You don't know my Strib.
- But I know you. And you are too special
473
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,415
to settle for the first guy
who rolls up on a motorcycle
474
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,292
and says, [drawls]
"I love you or whatever."
475
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,295
Well, I haven't decided
what I'm gonna do yet anyway.
476
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,964
You're a bright girl,
and you've got an incredible future.
477
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,218
Let me ask you something.
Did you really like the clothes I made?
478
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,469
Of course I did.
479
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,971
Then why didn't you buy anything
for yourself?
480
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:48,182
- Sadie...
- You're bullshitting me.
481
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,351
- This is just another sale for you.
- No.
482
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,395
You think I'm stupid,
but I've been watching you bullshit,
483
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,814
everyone on that phone of yours.
484
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:58,400
I want to give your baby the best life,
the best schools, the best opportunities...
485
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,324
You think, because you left her,
you're better.
486
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,113
Because of your fancy show business,
you can take whatever you want.
487
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:06,617
- No, no, no, you don't understand.
- Well, I got something you can't have,
488
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:10,037
and no amount of your managing
or producing is gonna change that.
489
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,415
I just want to help you.
I want to give your baby a better life.
490
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,292
Better than what?
491
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,170
Better than a sky fulla stars?
492
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:19,964
[sighs]
493
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,260
[deep breath] Okay, Sadie,
you do whatever you want.
494
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,428
You want to keep the baby,
495
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,848
you want to give the baby
to someone else, fine.
496
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,766
Just do, what you want to do.
497
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,812
Don't live your life for Strib,
or this baby, or anybody else.
498
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,898
- I know that.
- Okay. Good.
499
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,318
- Thank you.
- I mean it.
500
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,866
[sign grinds]
501
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,494
- [phone buzzing, meowing]
- Hello?
502
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,914
So, I just got the word from Sadie.
503
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:57,209
- She's gonna keep looking.
- Okay.
504
00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,671
Ugh! I'm sorry.
This is the hardest part of my job,
505
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:03,474
when I have to lie to the clients
and tell them it's not their fault.
506
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:06,635
- Thank you, Tracy.
- It's not your fault.
507
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,137
- Goodbye, Tracy.
- [phone beeps]
508
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:09,762
[sighs]
509
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:18,147
- [chattering]
- [planes landing and taking off]
510
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,690
[phone buzzing, meowing]
511
00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:23,485
BoJack, I am so sorry.
This was all my fault.
512
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:26,447
Uh, it's your fault I feel amazing?
513
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,240
I don't know what that doctor gave me,
514
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:32,119
but, man, you should leave town
more often.
515
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,580
Hey, quick question... is this a train?
516
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:35,663
I'm on my way home.
517
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,750
I'll come check on you
as soon as I get there.
518
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,710
Hey, I'm golden. Let me tell you.
519
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,087
You accidentally drive a motorcycle
off a building,
520
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,715
and suddenly
you are everybody's favorite guy.
521
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,593
We did it, Princess Carolyn. Back on top!
522
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:49,637
- [phone beeps]
- [sighs]
523
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,895
[announcer] Flight 29 to Los Angeles,
say your goodbyes.
524
00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,058
- This is the final call for boarding.
- [mom grunts]
525
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,232
Okay. Bye, Mom. Ooh!
526
00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:05,861
Hey, I got a nutty idea.
What if you deferred for a year?
527
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,780
Mom, I-I can't do that.
528
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:11,784
Of course you could.
Los Angeles isn't going nowhere.
529
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,077
Just another year.
530
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,039
By that time, Boots will be out of rehab,
and he can come home, and help out.
531
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,792
- Just wait until then.
- Mom, please.
532
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,044
A year. You'll hardly notice it.
533
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:25,297
- No, Mom. I gotta go.
- Please?
534
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,634
Can't you just do this one thing for me?
535
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,178
I'm sorry, Mom.