1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,303
- [watch ticking]
- [woman humming]
2
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,932
- I know, I know.
- I'm just glad you showed up.
3
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,850
The waitstaff was starting
to get suspicious.
4
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:19,061
See? I'm not a liar! I do have a wife!
5
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:22,773
- All right. You're trying to embarrass me.
- And I did. And now I'm fine.
6
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,858
- Hi, you.
- Hi, you. [kisses]
7
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,235
Long day at the office?
8
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,986
- I lost them, Indira.
- No.
9
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,197
In all my years of corporate mediation,
10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,700
I've never been unable to resolve
a dispute before it goes to arbitration.
11
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,994
I'm Mary-Beth, the Mediating Maven.
12
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,539
I'm sure you helped them
in ways you'll never even know.
13
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:42,417
- I... Don't therapize me.
- [chuckles] But you're so easy!
14
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,426
You make me feel like
I'm actually good at it.
15
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,546
What's going on with you?
16
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,172
- It's been a tough week.
- Tell me.
17
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,090
Mm...
18
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,759
- I shouldn't talk about my clients.
- Come on.
19
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,887
What if you changed all the names
and identifying characteristics?
20
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,140
Okay. This is a story about...
21
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:02,854
Bo... Bo... BoBo, the Angsty Zebra.
22
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,940
[theme music playing]
23
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,721
- [writing]
- [Indira] So, it all started on Monday.
24
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,496
I was in a session with Diane...
25
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,789
...a! Diana.
26
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,833
[Mary-Beth] Like Diana,
Princess of Whales?
27
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,001
[Indira] Exactly.
28
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,045
It's just so tough
being Princess of Whales.
29
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,088
Like, I can't be all things to all whales.
30
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,372
- You're deflecting.
- I'm not!
31
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,008
Let's talk about the BoBo tape.
32
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,259
What's the BoBo tape?
33
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,928
She recently came into possession
of an audiotape
34
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:20,182
of her friend and co-worker,
BoBo, the Angsty Zebra.
35
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,561
[BoBo] On the boat. There was a girl.
In New Mexico.
36
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,857
And she trusted me. Also, I'm a zebra.
37
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,318
- What girl is he talking about?
- I don't know.
38
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,697
"Girl" sounds young, right? [scoffs]
Whatever it is, it's gotta be bad,
39
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,450
because, otherwise,
why wouldn't he tell me?
40
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,078
Diana, you are not responsible
for the dysfunction of others.
41
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,996
I actually explore this in my book,
42
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,123
Are You Responsible
For The Dysfunction of Others?
43
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,750
Spoiler alert: You're not!
44
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,212
I just wish I could talk to him about it,
but he's like an open sore.
45
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:54,049
Attention! As some of you
might have heard, my mom died recently.
46
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,300
I know you're very concerned,
47
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,469
but I wanna let you know
it will not affect my work.
48
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,223
I'm here, and I'm doing fine.
I just want to focus on the show.
49
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,226
So, please treat this like any other day,
and be extra-nice to me
50
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:07,479
because I am a famous actor,
not because my mom died.
51
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,023
[all murmuring]
52
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,233
Thank you. Good.
53
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,861
Yes, that's what I'm looking for.
Just go about your business.
54
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,030
That's good 'cause I don't want to talk
about my mom.
55
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,074
Hmm. [grunts]
56
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,953
- Hey. Did you hear my mom died?
- Yeah. But you don't wanna talk about it.
57
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,080
No. Pretty weird she died, though, huh?
58
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,583
- Do you want to talk about it?
- No. I'm just saying it's weird.
59
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:32,170
- BoBo. I am so sorry.
- And I so don't wanna talk about it.
60
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,298
Obsessed with my mom much?
You're the one with issues.
61
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,508
Uh...
62
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,511
I feel like he wants me to comfort him,
but I'm still angry.
63
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,972
Maybe you could both use some space
from each other.
64
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,349
Why don't you tell him you need
to focus on your work?
65
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,560
What work?
Flippy won't let me do anything.
66
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,770
[dolphin voice]
67
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,398
Flippy? Are you okay?
68
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,899
[squeaking]
69
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,991
Hey, what are we filming today?
Why is there a submarine set?
70
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,909
[squeaking continues]
71
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,828
[Diana] Interior sub?
72
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,707
Why didn't you just write "way"?
73
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:15,213
Okay. So, now we just need
to come up with a scene
74
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,798
that takes place in a submarine.
75
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,597
Okay.
76
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,601
- Ah!
- Did you hear my mom died?
77
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,936
[Indira] How about this?
If he wants to talk,
78
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,380
and you aren't can't confront him,
79
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,774
tell him your therapist says
you need space.
80
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,652
That's where I went wrong.
I inserted myself into her story.
81
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,822
Don't beat yourself up.
Remember what Doctor Janet said?
82
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,033
[bells in accordance to stick]
83
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,329
Tell me about your day.
You had a tough workplace mediation?
84
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,291
Whoo! The problem with these two
is they don't just work together.
85
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,043
They also live together.
86
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,921
[grunting]
87
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,297
What a beautiful morning!
88
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,860
[Indira] Wait, wait,, wait. Hold on.
89
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:03,512
If your story can have Princess Diana,
why can't mine have Emperor Finger-Face?
90
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,890
It's not actually Princess Diana.
She's just named Diana.
91
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,600
I've been picturing Princess Diana.
92
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,937
Okay, fine. Tell me what happened
with Emperor Finger-Face.
93
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:17,108
He lived in the same apartment
as a Tangled Fog of Pulsating Yearning
94
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,610
in the shape of a woman.
95
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,278
Good morning, Emperor Finger-Face!
96
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:24,074
Good morning to you,
Tangled Fog of Pulsating Yearning!
97
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,742
- See you tonight?
- Afternoon.
98
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,578
I wanna talk to you,
so I set a meeting through your assistant.
99
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,164
- Have you seen my keys?
- Butter tray in the fridge.
100
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,084
I think I put them there
during one of my night terrors.
101
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,128
I don't have time to go to the kitchen.
I'll just hotwire my car.
102
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,590
- Hey, did you eat breakfast?
- No time for meals.
103
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,801
I just grab whatever I can,
whenever I can.
104
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:43,802
Hold on.
105
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,220
I know you're a gal on the go,
106
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,557
but even tangled fogs of pulsating
yearning need to eat right.
107
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,058
I'll get something on set.
108
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,811
Pinky swear? [horn] Ow! I poked my face!
109
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,105
I feel I'm having a hard time
following the story
110
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,065
because of how weird
you made the characters.
111
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,901
The important thing is that these two
have been living together
112
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,404
for almost a year with virtually no drama.
113
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,949
In some ways, it's the most functional
relationship either have ever been in!
114
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,201
Oh, okay. I guess that's not that weird.
115
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,912
Great! Now, back to the story
of the fog and the hand!
116
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:14,666
- So. What can I do you for?
- I have no workspace on set.
117
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,837
I was hoping we could allocate some money
to get me an office.
118
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,549
Oh, look, here's the exact paperwork
you need all filled out and ready to go.
119
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,092
- Okay.
- Just needs your signature.
120
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,636
- Let me retrieve my pen.
- Marvelous!
121
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,432
Yep, I am currently gripping my pen
inside my jacket.
122
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:34,311
Now to just pull it out
and sign this document.
123
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,395
Just goes to show,
124
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,772
you get what you need
if you pull the right strings.
125
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,023
Strings?
126
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,693
- [gasps] It was you!
- What was me?
127
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,197
The last string cheese in the apartment,
I was saving it. And you took it!
128
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,825
And now you want me to give you an office?
129
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,785
What?! I didn't take your cheese.
130
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:54,497
Uh-oh, are we having
a work-related conflict?
131
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:58,793
This feels like more of a
you-crashing-on-my-couch-related conflict.
132
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,212
When I started here,
I signed a contract that said,
133
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:05,258
all intra-office disputes
must be resolved via mediation,
134
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,678
or failing that, forced arbitration.
135
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,263
Ugh!
136
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,557
So, then I... You're not eating.
137
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,602
I just... I keep thinking
about BoBo the Zebra.
138
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,188
Okay, what happened next with BoBo?
139
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,711
Well, he wanted to get back to work,
140
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,109
but since Flippy had writer's block,
there was nothing for the actors to do.
141
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,903
How is there nothing to shoot?
142
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,156
So, what, I just have to wait around,
and be alone with my thoughts? Gross.
143
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,909
When I was on The Murder-Stoppers.
We had to shut down production
144
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,161
because Nick Nolte wouldn't come out
of his trailer.
145
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,514
He wasn't even on the show!
He was in one of our trailers,
146
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,184
- and we couldn't get him out!
- Is it hard to write a script, Gino?
147
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,460
"Oh, I'm Philbert, bang, bang.
I'm a tough guy.
148
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,213
My wife is dead! Did I kill her?
Who knows? I'm cool."
149
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,215
That was pretty good.
Can we just roll on that?
150
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,058
When there's something to shoot,
we'll shoot.
151
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,220
Meanwhile, you wanna go bang one out
in your trailer? I'll get my diaphragm.
152
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,639
Nah, I'd just be thinking about
my dead mom the whole time,
153
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,057
which would either ruin it or...
154
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,643
Oh, God, what if it makes it better?
I don't wanna know that.
155
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,770
- You want me to just get you some pie?
- No.
156
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,064
- Yes.
- Okay, big guy.
157
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,148
[BoBo sighs]
158
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:05,527
- [sympathetic voice] Hey, buddy.
- Hey, Mr. Chocolate-Hazelnut-Spread.
159
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,195
Really sorry about your mom.
160
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,406
No, it's fine. I'm fine. It's really fine.
161
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,993
It must be so hard to lose a loved one.
I, for one, never have.
162
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,494
You've never lost a loved one?
163
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,205
- When my mom got old, she moved to a farm.
- What?
164
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,833
In the country, where she could have
plenty of room to run free.
165
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,751
Why would she wanna run around
if she's old?
166
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,795
You know,
I never really questioned the logic.
167
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,214
My brother set it up.
I haven't been able to visit,
168
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,633
but everyone in my family
goes to that farm eventually.
169
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:32,095
- Oh, dude, your mom's dead.
- What? No. She's at a farm.
170
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,597
After a prolonged bout of Parkinson's.
A farm.
171
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,475
Where they don't have telephones,
or the internet, and... Oh, my God.
172
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,811
She's dead. My mom is dead!
173
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,271
- [sobbing]
- Whoa!
174
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,439
[BoBo groans]
175
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,690
Oh, there... There, there.
176
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,858
[Flippy squeaking]
177
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,586
- What's going on with this submarine?
- My therapist doesn't want me
178
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,528
talking to you!
179
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,197
- What?
- My therapist, Dr. Indira,
180
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,783
says it would be good
if you gave me some space.
181
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,220
- Why would she say that?
- Don't know. I'm just the client.
182
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,621
- Her call, not mine. I should go.
- Uh...
183
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,125
Everybody? My dear mother
has transcended this plane.
184
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,877
- [all] Aw.
- I am incredibly fragile
185
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920
and could use all the support I can get,
186
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,256
so if everyone could pay
a lot of attention to me,
187
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,425
and ask me a lot of questions
about my mother,
188
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,268
and maybe tell me stories
about your mothers,
189
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,471
I think that would really make me
feel a lot better.
190
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,056
Sure, Mr. Chocolate-Hazelnut-Spread!
191
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,100
- [man] So sorry for your loss.
- This is a very healthy way to grieve.
192
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,184
- [applause]
- Ugh.
193
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,439
So, a brief recapitulation:
194
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,692
this is not a room
for repudiation or condemnation
195
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,528
over string cheese
appropriation accusations.
196
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:34,324
Mediation is an invitation
for open conversation,
197
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,827
frustration de-escalation,
and exchange of information,
198
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,287
which, in summation,
199
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:43,374
removes any justification for litigation
involving this corporation.
200
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,585
Nobody was going to litigate anything.
201
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,463
That's fabulous,
because you legally cannot.
202
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,674
Now, tell me about your journey
into the woods of conflict.
203
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:55,220
Well, this very Wednesday, October 24th,
204
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:59,808
I was excited to come home
to some string cheese. The very last one.
205
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,726
I'd been saving it all week.
206
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,145
- All week until Wednesday?
- That is correct.
207
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,564
I measure my weeks Thursday to Wednesday.
208
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,900
- Why would you...
- Tangled Fog of Pulsating Yearning?
209
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,819
Emperor Finger-Face has the floor.
210
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:11,986
I was gonna melt it down
211
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,697
and then sculpt it
into a Mozzarella Cinderella!
212
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:18,034
But when I got home,
my string cheese was gone!
213
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,327
Doesn't mean I took it.
214
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,621
Tangled Fog, watch yourself.
Or I'll turn on this fan.
215
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:25,583
Well, this morning you said yourself
that when it comes to eating,
216
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:29,420
- you just grab whatever you can.
- Can we use "I" statements?
217
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,506
[shouts] Ai, ai, ai! You took my cheese!
218
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,259
You probably ate it yourself
during one of your night terrors!
219
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,761
We know you opened the fridge.
You put my keys in there.
220
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,471
I can't eat while I'm terrified.
221
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:42,642
That's why I'll never know
the delicious crunch of Count Chocula.
222
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,811
- [shudders]
- That still doesn't mean I took it.
223
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,729
- You will both have a chance to...
- Come on!
224
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,358
We both know you drift around
the apartment like you own the place.
225
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,986
- It's my apartment!
- [shouts and thumps] And it's my cheese!
226
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,237
Oh, boy.
227
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:55,529
[tires screech]
228
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,908
- [grunts] Who do you think you are?
- [gasps] Uh...
229
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,660
- I'm Dr. Indir...
- I know who you are!
230
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,912
You know how many therapists
there are named Indira?
231
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,123
Google filled in your last name for me.
232
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,375
Why did you tell Diana
that she needed space from me?
233
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,751
Would you like to have a seat?
234
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,421
No, I don't wanna "have a seat,"
and here's why.
235
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,464
Therapists are manipulative leeches...
236
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:19,470
So, when Jerry Lewis
mistook me for the valet,
237
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,682
he was carrying so much pain
I could never fathom.
238
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,100
- Mm...
- And that realization
239
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:28,146
allows me to forgive.
Not for his sake, but for mine.
240
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,231
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow. How long was I talking?
241
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,318
I hope that was cathartic for you.
You wanna come back same time tomorrow?
242
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:38,489
Wait a minute, I see what's going on here.
Are you... my new best friend?
243
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,949
[sighs] Uh...?
244
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:44,120
Ugh, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm hogging
all the conversation.
245
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,456
There's definitely more to your story
than mine.
246
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:50,210
Mine's more like a secondary story.
A B-story, if you will.
247
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,773
I have a feeling it will continue
to offer a light alternative,
248
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,839
as my story gets increasingly serious.
249
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,717
Let's continue to switch back and forth
between our stories,
250
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,677
pausing at their most interesting moments.
251
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,180
That feels like the most natural way
to have a conversation.
252
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,057
Well, while I was talking to BoBo,
253
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,934
Diana was trying to keep things together
254
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,457
- on set.
- I thought it was my turn.
255
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:11,481
- [gasps] Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
- [Diana] Okay, cut?
256
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,359
- [buzzer blares]
- Why is Sassy saying "Oh, my God?"
257
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,322
I just figured,
we've got all these people here,
258
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,779
we might as well film some stuff.
259
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,657
Presumably something shocking will happen,
and then if it does,
260
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,201
we have a shot of you saying,
[mimics Gino] "Oh, my God!"
261
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,262
- Makes sense.
- Diana, can I talk to you for a sec?
262
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,705
I know you're going through something,
and need boundaries,
263
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,123
but this isn't personal,
264
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,375
- it's about the show.
- Ah!
265
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,085
[Diana grunts, sighs] What is it?
266
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,544
I lied. It's a 100% personal.
267
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,439
- What?
- But it's good! You're gonna like this.
268
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,183
- Remember you said you needed space?
- Yes.
269
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,217
When you told me that,
I didn't take it well.
270
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,718
- Uh...
- But I made a new friend,
271
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,012
- so everything is good now.
- Oh. Well, that's great.
272
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,931
I'm glad you think so because, fun twist,
273
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,182
- it's Dr. Indira.
- What?
274
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,060
I'm seeing Dr. Indira now, as a friend.
Dr. Indira's my new friend.
275
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,143
- No.
- What?
276
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,064
It's great that you would wanna talk
to someone, and you should!
277
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:56,109
But she's mine.
I really need her to just be mine.
278
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,987
- Can you understand that?
- [sighs] Yeah.
279
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:05,910
Diana asked me not to be friends with you,
so out of respect for her,
280
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:10,206
I think it's best that I continue
seeing you behind her back.
281
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,167
We can still do our lunchtime hang outs,
but to cover our tracks,
282
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,169
I'll compensate you
for your time on the books.
283
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,653
Ιt'll seem as if you have a client.
284
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,553
And, to be safe, we should invoke
a therapist-to-friend confidentiality.
285
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,632
How's that sound?
286
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,514
So, in my dreams, I'm Philbert,
and sometimes when I wake up,
287
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,808
I don't know if I'm Philbert or if I'm me,
288
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,727
- or if I'm still dreaming.
- [watch beeping]
289
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,479
Oh, that's our time of friendship hour.
290
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:37,108
I'm just so glad that I can help break up
your day of listening to whiny babies
291
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,152
with some entertaining lunchtime convo.
292
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,696
Should I have told him
what we were doing was therapy?
293
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,948
On some level, he must have known
what was going on.
294
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,199
What I don't understand is,
295
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,785
if you knew Diana asked him
not to see you...
296
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:51,122
I'm a therapist. A doctor heals.
A DJ spins.
297
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,751
Jessica Chastain takes whatever gig
Amy Adams says no to.
298
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,127
My job is to listen.
299
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,338
And at that moment,
BoBo needed someone to listen.
300
00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,630
I know the feeling.
301
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,426
Okay, we've been going back and forth
for two hours.
302
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,804
Can we take a break?
I gotta use the bathroom. If I even can!
303
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:10,058
Maybe it's just another hand down there!
Guess I'll find out!
304
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,602
Why not just say you took the cheese?
305
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,771
- Because I didn't.
- You want an office, right?
306
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,066
There's nothing wrong with telling
a small lie to avoid a fight.
307
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:21,861
I do it all the time with my wife,
Doctor, uh, Underwear.
308
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:25,239
- Heh?
- I love your new hairstyle, honey.
309
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:30,161
- Did you not like my new hairstyle?
- Oh! Um... Back to my story...
310
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,789
All you have to do
is tell Emperor Finger-Face
311
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,082
what he wants to hear.
312
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:37,710
Fifty-nine cents worth of edible string
for a brand-new office?
313
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:38,914
Wouldn't you take that deal?
314
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:43,966
So, turns out I can use the bathroom,
but it comes out in tiny cubes!
315
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,677
Hey. I took the string cheese.
316
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,513
Ha, ha! I knew it!
317
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:52,683
Wonderful. So, she can replace the cheese
and you'll give her an office. We did it!
318
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,769
Great! Let me just grab my pen.
319
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:59,023
- But even if I did take the cheese...
- Which you just admitted you did!
320
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,107
Would I be in the wrong?
321
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,111
I mean, it is kind of a "fair game food,"
don't you think?
322
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,029
- What?
- It's not like it's a sandwich.
323
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,448
Some foods are just widely understood
to be up for grabs.
324
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,055
- No. You guys.
- [Finger-Face] Okay.
325
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,994
Well, then let's make a list
of fair game foods.
326
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:17,291
Grapes. Fair game. Eggs. Fair game.
An unsliced pie. Not fair game.
327
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:21,921
A sliced pie. Fair game.
The last slice. Not fair game.
328
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:25,299
Then let's also make a list
of what's fair game to me in my apartment.
329
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:28,594
Oh, that's right, everything,
you literal knucklehead.
330
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:33,224
Oh, ho-ho!
That's a solid diss coming from a gas.
331
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,560
Please, you two,
we can still reach an agreement.
332
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,688
I don't know. I think this might go
beyond simple mediation.
333
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,107
- No!
- Damn it, we're going to arbitration!
334
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,985
[shouts] Nooooooooooo!
335
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:49,866
Hey, Flippy. I got everyone saying,
"Oh, my God." How's it going in here?
336
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:55,288
"Interior sub. Philbert. Philbert.
Flap, flap, flippy, flap. Fart. Barf.
337
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,706
Barf me a river, fartbag."
338
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,291
[squeaking]
339
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,376
What's going on in here?
340
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,711
[squeaking continues]
341
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,173
If it relieves any pressure,
342
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,717
I don't know that everyone thinks
you're a brilliant genius.
343
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,678
I think we need to simplify.
344
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,681
Let's start with Fritz.
Is he a ghost or is he not a ghost?
345
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,851
Can't he just be a ghost?
346
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:22,148
So, why is Philbert seeing a ghost?
Maybe he feels haunted?
347
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,443
And Fritz represents that?
What is haunting Philbert?
348
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:30,823
That's great. But also...
Maybe something involving a submarine?
349
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,117
You keep thinking.
350
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,432
Hey, are we about to shoot something?
351
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,706
I'm meeting a friend for lunch.
You don't know her.
352
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:39,909
It's gonna be a while still.
353
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,586
Flippy is working through his "process."
And I am helping.
354
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,837
Sounds good. Just remember,
355
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,340
you are not responsible
for the dysfunction of others.
356
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,466
What?
357
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,229
I'm just saying don't let him
get you down.
358
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,678
Where did you hear that?
About the dysfunction of others?
359
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,139
I don't know. Just around.
It's a thing people say.
360
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,140
[Diana] Mm...
361
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,351
Hey, are we gonna get new pages today
or what?
362
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,811
W-w-wait, did you say "Princess Carolyn"?
363
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,773
I'm sorry, "Priscilla Crustacean."
364
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,858
Vamanos, on the pages, okay?
365
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,945
I've been here all day today,
Wednesday, October 24th,
366
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,281
waiting for something to shoot.
Andele, andele, andele!
367
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,077
I think your Priscilla Crustacean
is the same person
368
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,830
as my Tangled Fog of Pulsating Yearning
in the shape of a woman!
369
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:22,833
And if she was on set all day
Wednesday, that means...
370
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,211
Bu... Hold on,
I'm getting to the juicy part.
371
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,130
As soon as I get the thing,
I don't want it anymore.
372
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,384
It feels cheap.
So, no, I wouldn't like a bottle of water.
373
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,135
- [Diana grunts]
- Emotionally naked!
374
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,762
- I knew it!
- Diana! Let me explain.
375
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,139
How long has he been your client?
376
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,099
- Not a client.
- Three...
377
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,226
Days. Friends for three days.
378
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,353
I asked you not to see her.
379
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,398
I asked for one part of my life
that I could have to myself.
380
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,641
News flash, you're not the only one
going through shit.
381
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,110
Maybe if I could talk to you,
382
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,073
I wouldn't need to be looking
for other friends.
383
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:54,115
Diana, is there anything you'd like
to discuss with BoBo?
384
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,409
We can do it right here.
This is a safe space.
385
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,161
No. This doesn't feel
like a safe space anymore.
386
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:02,331
I can't keep coming here
if I know you're also seeing him.
387
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,919
Then it sounds like
our time together is done.
388
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:07,837
What?
389
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,630
You're setting a boundary. It is good.
390
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,549
Go forth with the tools I've given you.
391
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,218
Live your life, Diana.
Like a candle in the wind.
392
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:17,221
- I can't believe this is happening.
- I think BoBo needs me more.
393
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,140
- Would you like validation?
- No.
394
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,602
Your validation is worthless to me now.
You two deserve each other.
395
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,768
[grunts]
396
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,189
Oh, you meant parking validation.
I actually would like that.
397
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:31,777
Wow, I can't believe you chose BoBo
over your client of seven years.
398
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:32,695
At a certain point,
399
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,906
I can't hold myself responsible
for other people's dysfunction.
400
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,159
I mean, that is kind of your job.
401
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,870
But at least now you can help
the Angsty Zebra, right?
402
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,079
Well...
403
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,166
- Okay. Now for the real work to begin.
- Real what now?
404
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,501
You did the hard part,
admitting you need help.
405
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:48,419
Did I admit that?
406
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,172
And now comes the even harder part,
getting the help.
407
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:54,425
- Let's talk about your mother.
- You know what? This has been great.
408
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,552
I got what I wanted
and I made so much progress!
409
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,137
So, I think I'm done?
410
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,221
- Yes. You did it!
- I...
411
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,308
You changed my stripes!
Dr. Indira, you're great at your job!
412
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,602
- Goodbye forever.
- W-w-w-wait!
413
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,605
I can't believe I lost two clients
in one day.
414
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,190
You're focusing on the negative.
415
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:12,568
I'm sure you helped them
in ways you'll never know.
416
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,949
This area's all mine.
This is fair game. Ya see the line?
417
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,368
What about popcorn?
418
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:23,454
Popped is mine. Unpopped is fair game.
419
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:24,931
- [ringtone playing]
- [phone beeps]
420
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,040
- Hello?
- [Mary-Beth] Todd.
421
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,835
Princess Carolyn was on set all day,
the day of the string cheese theft.
422
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,046
She was not home
when the cheese went missing,
423
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:36,759
rendering any arbitration agreement made
under those conditions null and void.
424
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,011
Whoa! Thanks a lot, Mary-Beth.
425
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,765
Just doing my job, kid.
A doctor heals. A DJ spins.
426
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,560
Bryce Dallas Howard takes the gigs,
Jessica Chastain says no to.
427
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,604
And Mary-Beth mediates.
428
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:52,024
So, it sounds like
you didn't take my string cheese.
429
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,442
That's what I've been saying!
430
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,807
I don't even know why we had to go through
corporate mediation in the first place!
431
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,490
I guess I just wanted it to be
a workplace dispute,
432
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:02,284
because I thought if you knew
it was a roommate dispute,
433
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,619
you might kick me out.
434
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,414
I'm not gonna kick you out.
I like having you around.
435
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:07,707
Oh, really?
436
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,834
Who else would I get to keep my keys cold?
437
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,169
You know, I have this job now.
438
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:17,216
Maybe I could start paying,
I believe it's pronounced "roaunnt?"
439
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,468
Rent? Well. That's a great idea.
440
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,597
But I also need my own space.
Which is why I wanted that office.
441
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:27,768
Well, then, let's get you that office.
I just need to grab my pen.
442
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,230
- Hey!
- Ugh!
443
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:39,238
Hey. I want to apologize...
for my behavior at Dr. Indira's.
444
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,881
- Don't worry about it.
- She was right.
445
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,535
You need her more than I do.
And I think she can really help you.
446
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,536
Help with what?
447
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,931
I was looking for someone
to hang out with during my lunch.
448
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,999
I didn't want some
psycho-babbling quack job
449
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,126
telling me to get in touch
with my feelings.
450
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,462
- Who needs that?
- I do. I need that.
451
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,298
You don't anymore!
She said it herself, you're fixed!
452
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,821
And then after you left, I was like,
453
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,302
"Hey, if Diane doesn't need this,
I don't need this."
454
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,219
Wait, you quit?
455
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,014
Yeah, I'm not someone therapy works on.
I might be too smart.
456
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,892
Oh, my God. You haven't changed at all.
457
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,060
Whoa, whoa.
Diane, no, no. I'm not the problem here.
458
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,789
None of this would have happened
if I felt like I could talk to you,
459
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,523
my friend, after my mother died.
460
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,026
So, would you like to talk
about your mother?
461
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,986
No, I'm just saying as an example.
462
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,749
Why do you bring things back to my mother?
463
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,448
I can't keep playing this game with you.
464
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,201
You say you wanna get better
and you don't know how.
465
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:29,163
Well, here's me, your friend,
telling you how: get therapy.
466
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,998
Otherwise, don't waste my time.
467
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,502
Uh, you heard Dr. Indira.
She said we don't need her.
468
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:35,753
She said I don't need her!
469
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,797
I know, but you're just as screwed up
as I am.
470
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,758
- So, if...
- I am not as screwed up as you are.
471
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,177
Diane, it's me. Come on. We're the same.
472
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:46,514
[gasps] We are not the same!
473
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:48,264
- [Diane grunts]
- Whoa.
474
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,059
- [Diane huffs, hums]
- [typing]
475
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:51,268
Whoa.
476
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:55,689
That's good stuff. We're doing it, Diane.
We're doing it!
477
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:59,652
I wanna thank everyone
for being so kind this week.
478
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,403
Losing a mother is not easy,
479
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:05,616
but I am so lucky to have
the support system of my Philbert family.
480
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,785
You know who I really feel bad for
is my dad.
481
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:12,206
He's out on that farm all by himself,
and... Oh, my God. My dad is dead!
482
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,250
- [all] Aw.
- Cheer up, everyone!
483
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,460
- We got new pages!
- All right!
484
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:19,424
We're gonna film in the living room
with Philbert and Sassy Malone first.
485
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,465
We're moving into the submarine
for the flashback.
486
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,884
No time to learn lines.
We gotta make up for the lost days,
487
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,387
so we're gonna put the whole thing
on cue cards. Let's go!
488
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,230
- All right, everybody stand back.
- [murmus]
489
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,266
[sobbing]
490
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,809
We need lights on the living room!
491
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:33,435
And action!
492
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,481
Tell me what happened
in the submarine, Philbert.
493
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:39,149
We were doing a routine
submarine sting operation.
494
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,359
Things got outta hand.
495
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:44,655
- Hey. Who do you work for?
- Well, I sure as hell don't work for tips.
496
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,031
- [chuckles]
- [men gasping]
497
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,075
Okay. Hey, Fritz. Be cool. Everybody cool.
498
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:52,162
We are in a pressurized submarine
in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.
499
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:53,539
Mm.
500
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,291
Easy... [inhales]
501
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,376
- [all gasping, grunting]
- [gunfire]
502
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:02,423
- Oh, my God! You killed them all?
- We had to.
503
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:03,674
These poor guys.
504
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:06,886
I wonder if they had kids,
families who will never know...
505
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,679
Can you just say the lines, please?
506
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,472
Barf me a river, fartbags.
507
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,266
We gotta make this look like an accident.
508
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,789
You grab the contraband,
I'll set up the explosives. [panting]
509
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:17,292
[BoJack] I went to the room
where they were keeping the stuff.
510
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:21,609
- Only there was no stuff.
- Oh, my God!
511
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:25,404
There was a girl there.
She couldn't have been older than 17.
512
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:26,322
Bring in the girl!
513
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,448
What? What is this?
514
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,617
Keep going! We gotta get this tonight!
515
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:30,993
[Gina] A girl?
516
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:34,496
[BoJack] They weren't smuggling drugs.
They were smuggling... her.
517
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:37,291
- Hey. Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Just do the scene.
518
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,094
[Bojack] I told her
it was going to be okay.
519
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,878
And... she kissed me.
520
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:41,961
Wha...?
521
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,839
What did you do to her, Philbert?
522
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,591
Nothing. Like I said, she kissed me.
523
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:47,718
- Kiss her back.
- What?
524
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:49,511
We need to get you kissing her back.
525
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,846
- What?
- Kiss me, you idiot.
526
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:51,889
Kiss her!
527
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,015
[both moaning]
528
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,518
This whole thing is gonna blow.
We gotta bounce, friendo.
529
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,146
If Fritz hadn't come,
what would you have done with the girl?
530
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,357
[Bojack] Part of me is sure
I couldn't go through.
531
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,192
But another part knows that's a lie.
532
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,875
- We can't just leave her.
- [whimpering]
533
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,320
Use your brain, Philbert!
534
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,739
Malone, you gotta believe me.
I'm a good guy.
535
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:10,741
If I'd known she was there,
I never would've...
536
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,534
- Tell me what happened.
- I'll be back.
537
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,703
- You wait right here.
- Come on, loverboy.
538
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:19,291
You kissed a young girl
and then left her to die.
539
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,961
I'm a good guy.
I didn't know that she was...
540
00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:23,754
You have to understand, I'm a good guy.
541
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:26,131
- She trusted you.
- How do you make something right
542
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,927
when you've made it so wrong,
you can never go back?
543
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:31,929
How did you come up with all this?
544
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,224
It's a story I heard once.
I just changed all the names.
545
00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:37,309
I'll never forget that night on The...
546
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,104
U.S.S. New Mexico.
547
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,647
Why are you telling me all this?
548
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:43,899
It's just good to have someone to talk to.
549
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,442
[Flip] Cut!
550
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:48,112
- [buzzer blares]
- Amazing! I'm a genius!
551
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,244
[music playing]