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[BoJack] Previously on Philbert...
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00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,722
[sighs] Now I see
why they call you "Sassy."
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00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,559
- Hello, old friend.
- Fritz! But you're dead!
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Dead serious... about haunting you.
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[sighs] I haven't had sex that good
since my wife died.
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To be clear, the sex was pre-death.
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Philbert, I don't want to be
one of those girls,
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but did you murder your wife?
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How many people are dead because of you?
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Those were bad guys!
They stole the mayor's submarine.
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Tell me what happened.
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I'm going to the chief!
The whole world's gonna know what you did.
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- You can't do that, Marjorie.
- John, it's over. [gasps]
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Fritz, you maniac! What are you doing?
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- What you're too chickenshit to do.
- [gasping] John! Help!
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- Oh-hh!
- [moaning]
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[gasping]
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[clicks]
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[Fritz grunts]
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You shot your partner?
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He was strangling my wife!
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Kiss me, you smart, handsome renegade.
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There's no time for that now.
The nuclear missiles are coming.
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[music playing]
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♪ Well, I've been down
To the girlie club ♪
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♪ With a hot glue gun full of beans ♪
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♪ Shot the beans on the railroad tracks ♪
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[mumbling] ♪...Know what I mean ♪
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♪ I'm a man out of time ♪
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♪ And time keeps runnin' me down ♪
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♪ 'Cause rules are for fools ♪
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♪ And I ain't no clown, no ♪
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♪ They say the devil is a woman ♪
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♪ But I ain't no clown ♪
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[music ends]
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[mask huffing]
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[Philbert narrating] It's been six months
since the missiles hit.
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The air is thick
with the stench of death,
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and the hospitals are delivering
some very wacky babies.
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But, finally, they reopened
the Yogurtland near me.
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Sometimes, even mushroom clouds
have a silver lining.
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Hey, partner. Looks like you're getting
soft... serve frozen yogurt.
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[chuckles] Now I continue to see
why they call you "Sassy."
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[narrating] It's also been six months
since I told Sassy the truth.
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About Fritz. My wife.
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And Sassy hasn't turned me in.
I think she likes me.
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- [Sassy sighs]
- [Flip] Cut!
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- [bell rings]
- [spits] Ugh!
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BoJack, I told you
not to eat the prop food.
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That fake yogurt costs $500 a cup!
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Why?
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[BoJack] It's been two months since
the first season of Philbert came out.
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And it's a hit. Which is great for me,
but even better for Gina.
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[camera shutters clicking]
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You know, I've done so many TV shows,
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but this is the first one
that's kind of turned me into a star.
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It's a big step up from just recurring
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on The Cops are Coming,
Whee-oo, Whee-oo.
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[BoJack] And the weird part is
I'm not secretly bitter and jealous.
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I like seeing her happy.
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But I still have this little rancid itch
saying something isn't right.
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It's like there's always something
lurking just beyond the horizon.
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[ringing]
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Philbert the Troubled Detective.
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I see. Thank you.
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Why do you still use a landline?
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[Philbert] What am I supposed to tell her,
I'm just an old-fashioned guy?
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Or maybe I like things
that are plugged to the wall?
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Something to grab onto
if I start floating away.
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That was my wife's landline.
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- [Fritz grunting]
- [gasps]
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- I'm so sorry.
- Never mind that.
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The chief's been murdered.
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Oh, Philbert, that's awful.
I know you didn't want him to be murdered.
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Sassy, put on some pants.
You've got a sweet bottom,
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but the only bottom
I'm interested in right now
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is the bottom of this case,
and getting to it.
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Because this time, it's personnel.
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- Cut!
- [bell rings]
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Did you want me to say,
"This time it's personal"?
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No, that's a cliché.
You're saying it's an inside job.
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Someone on the force.
"This time, it's personnel."
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- Ah, okay.
- The strangling looks fake.
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Ooh, maybe it would be scarier...
[wailing] if I talked like this...
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I already told you. No spooky voice!
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I can roll my eyes back
and stick my tongue out.
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[gagging]
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- Eh...?
- Yeah, let's try that.
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Gina, you noticed anything funky
about these new scripts?
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Yeah. Without Diane around to police
Flip's use of the word "literally,"
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you'd think "the literally store"
was going out of business. Figuratively.
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What? No. I mean the story with the chief.
I think it's stolen from my life.
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I mean, I also had a male boss who died.
Herb Kazazz.
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Seems like a coincidence.
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The chief is named Basil.
Like basil, which is an herb! Like Herb.
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I don't think anyone would use a story
from your life without telling you.
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- Diane would.
- She's not writing on the show anymore.
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You think Flip read her book?
Wait a minute. "Her book." "Herb... ook."
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- What's going on with you?
- I'm gonna get to the bottom of this
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because this time, it's business.
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Personal business.
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- [typing]
- [knocking on door]
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Hey, friend.
Where'd you get your ideas from?
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I'm just... I'm so interested
in your process.
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Do you make them up,
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or get inspired
by other things or people's... lives?
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What are you accusing me of?
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You think I can't come up
with my own ideas?
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Those popsicle guys signed a release.
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Popsicle guys?
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- What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
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[both] Hmm...
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[BoJack] Something's going on.
I must be singing a song called "Crazy"
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because everyone's treating me
like a patsy.
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All I know for sure
is Flip's hiding something.
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Something about "popsicle guys."
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- Hey, buddy. Is everything okay in here?
- Yeah, fine.
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Really? Because this trailer belongs
to Stingray Liotta.
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[gurgling]
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Oh. Uh, I guess I've been
a little distracted.
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Are you sure you're okay?
Because you're my friend,
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and I would never forgive myself
if something happened to you
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that affected our ability
to stay on schedule.
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- What?
- BoJack, I care about you,
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and also the 218 other people
who will be out of a job
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if you spin out like you usually do.
Now are you keeping things together?
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I'm not gonna screw up
this professional opportunity for you.
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Your concern is very touching.
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- What's in those pills you keep taking?
- If you really cared,
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you should've been there
the day I fell off a building?
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But no. You had other important business
to attend to.
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- BoJack...
- You're doing a great job,
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making me feel like you give a shit.
You're gonna be an awesome mom.
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[sighs] I think you're overworked.
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Oh, for real?
With a side order of,
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"Ya think?"
And sundry retorts of that fashion.
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Here's what's gonna happen.
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You're gonna take
the rest of the night off.
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You're gonna get some sleep.
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And when you come back,
you're gonna be professional,
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you're gonna be courteous,
and you're gonna have your shit together.
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Fine! And... I'm sorry,
about the mom thing.
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Get some sleep.
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[sighs]
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- I can't sleep.
- Ugh. Yeah, you mentioned.
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- Flip was acting very suspicious.
- He sure was. Eight hours ago.
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But we're home now,
and it's 4:00 in the morning.
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Princess Carolyn's getting
all up in my business!
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She told me that I seem "not okay,"
and was "spinning out,"
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- and "would make a great mom."
- Not sure you'd be the best mom.
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- I'd be a wonderful mother!
- Wow.
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[thinking] Watch it, BoJack.
You're losing it. Gotta be cool for Gina.
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What's something a cool person would say?
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Uh, hey, Daddy-O.
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Gotta splitsville to the lavatory
if you catch my drift. Hang ten!
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- Oh, okay.
- Nailed it.
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[panting]
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[sighs] Huh?
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[clicking]
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[Gina] BoJack, I know what's going on.
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- [switch clicks]
- [gasps] Uh... you do?
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You're taking the character home with you.
It happens to every actor.
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I played a girls' PE coach
who solved mysteries
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in a pilot called,
Death, She Whistles.
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It never went to series,
but I got so into it,
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I spent months ordering
every mouthy teen I saw
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- to drop and give me 20.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
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[sniffs, slurps]
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[gasps]
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[groans]
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[gasps, moans]
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[music playing]
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[vocals singing backwards]
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- [music stops]
- Uh...?
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- [faint fluttering]
- [gasps]
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[gasps]
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[BoJack narrating] The BoJack Mysteries
will continue after this.
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- [orchestral music playing]
- [puffing]
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Hello. I hope you're enjoying Philbert.
Is everyone having a good time?
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- Uh...
- [music stops]
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Okay, I'm gonna level with you.
I'm in a real situation here
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because I did not realize I was supposed
to sell ads for this show.
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Nobody specifically told me
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that was under the purview
of the president of ad sales!
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So, if anyone wants to buy
30 million dollars'- worth of ad time,
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00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,169
or work out
some sort of licensing arrangement,
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basically, what you need to know about me
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00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,133
is I am desperate
and will say yes to anything.
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Let the negotiations begin!
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00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,929
- [music resumes]
- And now, back to the show.
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00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,102
[BoJack thinking]
Who sent this? What do they know?
192
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,563
Do they know things? Let's find out.
193
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,815
Hey, BoJack!
Did the L.A. Gazette come today?
194
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,985
Apparently, I'm on their
"35 Over 35 but Under 40" list.
195
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,309
Uh, no, nothing came today!
I wasn't looking at anything.
196
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,448
Why are you so insistent
that something came today?
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00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,241
Obsessed with things coming much?
198
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:38,203
Whatever this creep has on me
could ruin the show, And there goes
199
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,454
Gina's newfound happiness.
200
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,915
I gotta find out who sent this.
For her sake.
201
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,837
This case is like the movie,
Love Actually. No leads.
202
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,964
- Hope the coroner can help us out.
- She will.
203
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,768
We got a lot of history,
me and the coroner.
204
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,011
Here's a picture.
She used to be one of my closest friends.
205
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,095
Used to?
206
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,056
Times change.
207
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,183
[splatters]
208
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,603
[BoJack] Diane! Diane! Diane!
I know you sent me the note!
209
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,898
- What note?
- What note?
210
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,358
The one you slipped under my door.
211
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,736
See, great actors embody their roles,
so I've picked up some detective skills.
212
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,365
That letter "I" is in a nerd font.
I'd say it's from The Believer.
213
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,159
And you're the only person
who reads The Believer.
214
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,538
First of all, The Believer
is a very popular $12 magazine.
215
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,748
And I didn't send this dumb note.
216
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:27,460
You love revealing my secrets.
And not sharing your cobbler!
217
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,046
- [sighs]
- Who else could have done it?
218
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,714
I don't know.
Who'd you piss off?
219
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,717
[thinking] She's right.
Lotta people have it out for me.
220
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,780
[Philbert narrating] But who the hell
would want to hurt the chief?
221
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,097
Hey, Philbert. This your friend?
222
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,891
- [gasps]
- A second strangling victim.
223
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,144
If it's the same killer,
he's a real pain in the neck.
224
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,854
Hey, there's being sassy,
225
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:49,107
and there's going over the line
with humor. Literally.
226
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,360
All right, enough chokes.
Let's put together a list of suspects.
227
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,612
Yeah, suspects.
228
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,532
[Philbert] Gotta keep it together
and go through the suspects.
229
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,076
[rattling]
230
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,116
[thinking] Who would wanna take down
BoJack Horseman?
231
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,167
[clicks]
232
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,126
Huh.
233
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,962
No. Don't call Charlotte.
That's a terrible idea. Don't do it.
234
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,045
[ringing]
235
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:15,049
Hello! Charlotte's husband Kyle here!
236
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,427
[Kyle] Hello? Hello, hello, hello?
237
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,512
This is your last chance, okay?
238
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,306
- Three, two...
- Uh...
239
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,600
All right, you get another second here.
What's going on?
240
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,437
- I'm doing a survey for the cable company.
- All right.
241
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,320
I've got time for a survey.
Kinda fun to think
242
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,442
big-time corporations care
about what little old Kyle thinks.
243
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,737
[speaking with mock Scottish accent]
On a scale of one to ten,
244
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,739
how would you rate your cable service?
245
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,991
Oh, that's a tough one, right off the bat.
Let's see.
246
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,114
Don't take this personally,
but I'm gonna say eight.
247
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,580
And on a scale of one to ten,
how is your marriage?
248
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,665
Well, that's a little personal,
don't ya think?
249
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,083
Oh, okay. Uh...
250
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,545
But I guess if it helps your survey...
My wife and I had some rough patches,
251
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,429
but we're stronger
now we've got through them.
252
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,675
- I'm gonna give us an eight.
- Okay, so it sounds like your wife
253
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:01,054
isn't obsessed with a desire
to exact revenge on a former friend?
254
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,265
- What?
- For cable-related reasons or otherwise?
255
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,727
- I don't think so.
- Okay, wonderful.
256
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,895
On a scale of one to ten,
257
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,522
how would you rate
your daughter's sexual maturity?
258
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,484
- Boy, that's a sticky one.
- I'm just reading what's in front of me.
259
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,319
Pfft. I don't even know how to judge that.
260
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,656
Uh, let's say
that one is, "Horribly scarred
261
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,199
by an older man she trusted
262
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,744
and is now dedicated to getting
the word out about the bad thing he did,"
263
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,288
[normal voice]
and ten is, "Slowly explored her body
264
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,165
in a healthy way on her own timetable
265
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,876
and is now completely emotionally
well-adjusted?"
266
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,127
I don't know, maybe eight?
267
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,046
I feel like I'm kind of defaulting
to eights.
268
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,649
- Okay, thanks, bye!
- Wait! Don't go. I got a couple questions.
269
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,467
Question number one.
What channel is Netflix?
270
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,630
Gotta get back to Scotland.
You're the man now, dawg.
271
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,221
Well, that didn't pan out.
272
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,682
We got no leads,
and the Olive Garden won't deliver.
273
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,892
Sure, when you're there, you're "family."
274
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:51,437
There's gotta be something we're not
seeing. All these victims, strangled.
275
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,524
Yeah, this case just gets
strangler and strangler.
276
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,192
You made puns!
277
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,860
You could laugh after two murders.
278
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,114
But now we're talking about eight
innocent people killed in five days!
279
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,116
This guy's really going full throttle.
280
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:06,411
[chuckles] I guess it's just funnier
when I do it.
281
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,913
- The point is, we have to stop him.
- [sighs]
282
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:13,584
So many people could have sent that note.
Why do so many people hate me?
283
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,378
Oh, put up a picture of Crispin Glover.
284
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,089
Apparently, I spilled coffee on his shirt
in a dream he had.
285
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,799
I'm not sure production assistants
286
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,176
are supposed to help make lists
of enemies.
287
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,388
Hey, if you're gonna whine like that,
put your own picture on the wall too.
288
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,515
Oh, shit, what time is it?
I gotta get to set.
289
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,559
We are on set.
290
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,145
Oh, yeah. We are, in fact, on set.
291
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,398
[buzzing, popping]
292
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,405
[Flip] I'm telling you, BoJack's onto us!
293
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,365
[Princess Carolyn]
Oh, he's not onto anything.
294
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,367
[Flip] I think he knows
about the popsicle guys!
295
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,012
- Wha...?
- Pickles, about dinner tonight,
296
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,289
am I any network with a show
starring Kyle Bornheimer?
297
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,249
- Because I have to cancel.
- Shh, shh, shh!
298
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,436
Nothing's wrong.
Just another heavy night of shooting.
299
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,503
- Sha-sha-shh!
- Gotta go! Love you!
300
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,130
- Shh! Shh!
- Love being monogamous!
301
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,215
- [phone beeps]
- [sighs] Hey, BoJack!
302
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,594
Look at you, skulking behind doors
with a malevolent aura.
303
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,637
- Someone is hiding something.
- How did you know?
304
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,932
- Did you talk to Diane?
- Yes. I did talk to Diane.
305
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,268
BoJack, I promise it was a one-time thing.
306
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,113
The worst thing that could happen is
if I lost your respect over this.
307
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,982
I couldn't live with myself
if your respect for me fell any lower
308
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,026
than the current level of respect
you have for me,
309
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,236
which as we both know is very high.
310
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,280
Can we pretend
this whole thing never happened?
311
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,324
- What whole thing?
- Thank you.
312
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,388
There's gotta be a simple explanation.
313
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,955
No. I'm telling you,
this whole thing is rotten, Gina.
314
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,874
- [Flip] You said "Gina" again!
- What?
315
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,794
You called her "Gina."
The character's name is "Sassy."
316
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,130
Right. Um, no.
This whole thing is rotten, Sassy.
317
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,341
Whatever it is,
we'll figure it out together, okay?
318
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,510
- Okay.
- In the morning.
319
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,220
- [clicks]
- [Sassy sighs]
320
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,346
[sighs]
321
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,473
- [pistol clicks]
- [gasps] Fritz!
322
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,392
We're not so different, you and I.
323
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,728
In fact, in many ways,
you might even say we're the same.
324
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:59,440
Samie, samie, samie-same,
you might say.
325
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,817
Twinsies, even.
326
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,112
- Fritz, you're not real.
- Does this feel real enough for ya?
327
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:07,031
[grunts] You don't have to do this.
You can trust me.
328
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,116
I do trust you.
329
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,534
[sighs]
330
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,577
But I don't trust her.
331
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,162
- [grunts]
- Ugh!
332
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,415
And that's why I still have a landline.
333
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,793
- [yelling]
- [gasps, panting]
334
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,004
What's going on? I'm a heavy sleeper.
335
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:25,425
The pieces are starting to fit together.
Literally.
336
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,695
[BoJack thinking] He's got a secret
he won't tell me. And he's not alone.
337
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,346
That's why she keeps checking on me...
338
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,658
To make sure that I'm not getting
too close to the truth.
339
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,850
Who else is in on it?
340
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,310
Mr. Peanutbutter. He's up to something.
341
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,938
Something involving... Diane!
342
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,190
But what do they all have in...
343
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,817
Common?
344
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,408
They all made Philbert.
345
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:53,619
This whole show is designed
to reveal my secrets and destroy me.
346
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:58,291
And poor Gina is caught up in the madness.
I have to find a way protect her! Get it?
347
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,793
Everyone's evil.
It's a conspiracy to destroy you.
348
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,879
Protect Gina. Got it.
349
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:06,215
The Fascinating Mysteries
of Detective BoJack Who Is Great...
350
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,134
will continue after this.
351
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,847
What...?
352
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,267
I really think we should get to set.
353
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,644
- Aren't we on set?
- You're at home.
354
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:22,023
I came to get you
because you didn't show up at call time.
355
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,960
Why didn't you come earlier? [gasps]
Are you trying to take me down, too?
356
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,069
Down... to set.
357
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,324
- [Flip groaning]
- [BoJack gasping]
358
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,535
Hey, everyone!
BoJack's here, ready to shoot!
359
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,121
- What are we waiting for? Come on.
- All right, set it up!
360
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,789
BoJack, what's going on with you?
361
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:41,667
I can't tell her the truth.
She's safer knowing nothing.
362
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:45,546
- You realize you just said that out loud?
- Oh. Sorry. Too many night shoots.
363
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,006
It's so hard to lie to her.
364
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,689
You just said that out loud, too.
You do know this is real, right?
365
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,761
More real than you even know, dollface.
366
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,138
Face. Clocks have faces.
367
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,389
That's it! [gasping]
368
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,308
Where the hell is he going?
369
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,479
[muttering] Gotta get 'em...
Gotta go. Gotta catch up.
370
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,238
- [yelps]
- Todd Chavez. The man in charge.
371
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,656
The guy who has a face,
372
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,825
which is what clocks have,
and also hands, which clocks have, too.
373
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,954
I should have known his clocky-handy face
was behind this.
374
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,414
- Hi, BoJack!
- The gif is up, bozzo.
375
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,833
- Spill the beefs.
- Okay, you got me.
376
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,294
In order to offset the costs
of video hosting,
377
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,798
I needed to sign a licensing deal
with a pharmaceutical company,
378
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:34,095
but I think this still maintains
the dignity of Flip's original vision.
379
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,513
"Oopsie, gotta poopsie"?
380
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,266
That sounds like a thing
Philbert would say, right?
381
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:40,601
We're also doing a board game, a lunchbox,
382
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,604
and a campaign with a national taco chain.
383
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:48,192
The "Philburrito." So zesty,
you'll forget your murdered wife.
384
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,736
[gasps] So, you wrote the note!
385
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,863
- Uh, no, that's...
- Tell me the truth, Chavez!
386
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,907
Have you always been
secretly jealous of me?
387
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,286
Did you hate that you were a nothing
and I was a successful cop?
388
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:01,330
Did you create this entire
television show to destroy me?
389
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:05,418
That's a lotta questions,
but, generally, no.
390
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,254
- This ends now.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, careful!
391
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,547
Ooh!
392
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:11,591
[beeping]
393
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,694
- Fritz! Put down the gun.
- No, BoJack, that's not...
394
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,429
[Henry Fondle] I am going to blow my load!
395
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,847
Don't. Don't pull the trigger!
396
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,142
It is imminent!
Prepare to exchange fluids.
397
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,020
- No!
- Beep, beep! [groans]
398
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,898
You're a super gal. I'll call you.
399
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,358
Fritz is getting away! [grunts]
400
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,694
- BoJack, hold on...
- [grunts]
401
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,279
[panting]
402
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,698
[yelps]
403
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,118
- [gasps, yelps]
- [popping]
404
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,245
[gasps]
405
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,291
- BoJack, what are we doing?
- What?
406
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,084
All this running around.
407
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,296
Gina. Someone is trying to take me down,
take the show down.
408
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,048
So, what, you solve this little mystery,
409
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,425
fix this little hole,
and then everything will be fine?
410
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,593
I'm doing this for you.
411
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,429
You don't want that.
For everything to be fine?
412
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,141
- How dreadfully boring.
- Huh?
413
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:06,854
♪ Life is a never-ending show
My friend ♪
414
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,941
♪ A twisting, turning, ever-bending show ♪
415
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:11,901
Huh?
416
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:16,405
♪ The audience is everyone you know
My friend ♪
417
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:21,786
♪ Leave them with a smile when you go ♪
418
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,039
♪ You can bet that you're a star ♪
419
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,500
♪ So don't forget how fun you are ♪
420
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:32,463
♪ Get out there and give it your all ♪
421
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,049
♪ And don't stop dancing ♪
422
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:40,721
♪ Don't stop dancing
'Til the curtains fall ♪
423
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,846
Agh!
424
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:45,226
♪ You are a rotten little cog, mon frère ♪
425
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,813
♪ Spun by forces you don't understand ♪
426
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,066
♪ Living is a bitter, nasty slog
Mein herr ♪
427
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,277
♪ Why not sell your sadness as a brand? ♪
428
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,279
♪ Paint your face and brush your mane ♪
429
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:01,659
♪ And find some place to cut your pain
To portions we can buy at the mall ♪
430
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,619
♪ And don't stop dancing ♪
431
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,873
♪ No, you can't stop dancing
'Til the curtains fall ♪
432
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,083
- Aw, shucks!
- [yelps]
433
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,210
[shoes tapping]
434
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,094
♪ Today's the day, you've got the spark ♪
435
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:24,765
♪ You'll find a way to make your mark
And get your tiny name on that wall ♪
436
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:28,018
♪ So, don't stop dancin', baby
Don't stop spinnin' ♪
437
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:31,313
♪ Don't stop beltin', buddy
Now we're winnin' ♪
438
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,650
♪ Grief consumes you
But you just keep grinnin' ♪
439
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,862
♪ The ache becomes you
And it's just beginning ♪
440
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,991
♪ Don't stop dancin'
Nothing's certain but the curtain ♪
441
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,659
[gasps]
442
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,703
[panting]
443
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,083
[sighs]
444
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,837
- Couldn't sleep?
- I never sleep.
445
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,047
- I noticed.
- I've noticed you noticing.
446
00:20:57,131 --> 00:21:00,509
I've made some progress in our case,
but, uh... you're not gonna like it.
447
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,386
- Try me.
- It's about Fritz.
448
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,470
- [clicks]
- [gasps]
449
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,766
So, I guess some of this detective stuff
is starting to rub off on me,
450
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,893
because I figured out
what's been going on with you.
451
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,227
- Gina?
- I found your stashes
452
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,539
in the toilet paper rolls.
Then I looked around the house
453
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,649
and found all your other
clever little hiding places.
454
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,320
- How many of these do you take a day?
- Hey. Those are mine. Okay? I need those.
455
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,403
[Gina gasps]
456
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,199
I swear to God,
you try that again and you're dead.
457
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,493
Sassy, I'm not the bad guy here.
It's Fritz.
458
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,495
I didn't want to tell you this,
but he's back.
459
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:31,290
I don't know how. Maybe the nuclear blast
resurrected him somehow.
460
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,417
You're my partner. We need to find him.
461
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,002
I'm with Internal Affairs, you moron.
462
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,645
When you told me Fritz killed your wife,
something didn't add up.
463
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:41,300
I tried to find Fritz in the system, but
there's no record of him ever existing.
464
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,468
- What?
- In fact,
465
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,654
there's no record of you
ever having a partner at all.
466
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,180
What are you saying?
467
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,057
[grunting]
468
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:51,852
You killed your wife. And the chief.
And the coroner. And the others.
469
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,062
Why would I do that?
470
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,481
Because they knew you,
and they knew your secrets.
471
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:56,816
But I know your secrets now.
472
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,777
- But did you know that I love bocce ball?
- What?
473
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,279
- [Philbert grunts]
- [Sassy gasps]
474
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,073
[panting]
475
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,326
Come on. Gina. I'm serious, Gina.
476
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,637
- I need those pills!
- Bullshit.
477
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,541
You have no idea what I'm going through.
I'm trying to protect you, Gina!
478
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,706
Protect me from what?
479
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,377
- Are you serious?
- Someone is trying to blackmail me.
480
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,921
- BoJack, this is from the show.
- What?
481
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,130
It's marketing.
482
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,299
- [Gina] Everyone in L.A. got one.
- Huh.
483
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,760
It's a copy of the note
that Philbert gets.
484
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:28,430
- You sent this note. It was you.
- No, Philbert.
485
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,058
[Sassy] It was you.
The guilt was unbearable.
486
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:33,561
It ate you up inside,
and drove you to madness.
487
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,398
- Bullshit.
- Oh? Or should I say... no "O."
488
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:39,191
[gasps]
489
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:42,111
It was you! It was all you! Literally!
490
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,071
No! No!
491
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,282
You don't remember shooting that scene?
492
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,409
Well, I... I guess
I've been a little distracted.
493
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,077
"Distracted"? You've been high.
494
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,205
No. It's not high, Gina, that's not...
It makes things normal.
495
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:56,458
Normal? You're a goddamn mess,
and you're gonna ruin my show.
496
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,335
- Oh, your show?
- That's not what I meant.
497
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:01,005
No, that's very helpful.
I understand what you're worried about.
498
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:03,841
- I thought it was me, but it's your show.
- BoJack, listen.
499
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:06,427
It would really be a shame
if your show was ruined
500
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,721
by your boyfriend's
debilitating drug problem.
501
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,514
- Stop it.
- Where would you go to sing
502
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,518
- with your popsicle dancers?
- Popsicle dancers?
503
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,059
- Give me my pills back!
- No.
504
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:14,977
So, what happens now?
505
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,538
- Turn yourself in.
- Are you kidding?
506
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,999
I know there's a good man
buried somewhere in there, Philbert.
507
00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,399
He's the man I fell in love with.
508
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,611
- That man is dead!
- [grunts]
509
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:26,113
Gina. I'm not kidding. The pills. Now!
[bangs]
510
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:27,907
- You're out of control.
- Give them to me!
511
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:29,283
[growls]
512
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:32,494
Stop! Let go! You're hurting me!
513
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,955
- [Gina gasping]
- [grunting]
514
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,750
- [wheezing]
- [Flip] Okay, cut!
515
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,627
See, that looks real.
516
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:41,712
- I'm going.
- Gina, no. Come on.
517
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:44,715
Stay away from me. Get help. Or don't.
518
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,468
- I don't care anymore.
- Gina, no. Uh...!
519
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:49,719
[gulps]
520
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,889
- [BoJack grunting]
- [Gina] Please, stop.
521
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,891
BoJack, he said, "Cut."
522
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:58,812
BoJack? Buddy?
I think he's really strangling her.
523
00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:02,066
What? Oh, no. Turn the camera back on.
524
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:05,694
- Gina, you okay?
- Okay, that's enough.
525
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,155
- [screams]
- [gasps, panting]
526
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:14,078
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- [moans]
527
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:17,623
[gasping]
528
00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:21,918
Uh...?