1 00:00:08,218 --> 00:00:10,802 So, did you have a good birthday? 2 00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,721 - It was an amazing birthday! - I had a great day, too. 3 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:17,017 I wish every day could be like this. Just the two of us, together. 4 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,601 Yeah? You weren't too bored 5 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,271 by "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 6 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:24,149 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth"? 7 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:25,192 Are you kidding? 8 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,862 I loved "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 9 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:32,282 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth." 10 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:34,075 It combined my two favorite things: 11 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:37,246 modern art and people talking about modern art. 12 00:00:37,247 --> 00:00:39,998 I loved everything about today. Thank you. 13 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,501 - So, there's nothing else you want? - No. 14 00:00:42,502 --> 00:00:45,462 All I want is to get into bed, listen to Prairie Home Companion 15 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,755 and snuggle up to my wonderful husband. 16 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:52,969 - You don't want anything else? - No. Today was perfect. 17 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:58,975 - Any additional thing would be overkill. - Okay. If you say so. 18 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,686 - Surprise! - Oh, my God. 19 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,980 Are you surprised? Tell me you're surprised. 20 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:04,939 Uh... 21 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,650 She's speechless. Oh, we got her good, folks. 22 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,754 Now let's party! 23 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:11,214 He's dead! I told you he's dead. Why don't you ever listen to me? 24 00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,342 He is dead, goddamn it! 25 00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:15,069 Uh... 26 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,348 - Hey, we should go. - No, don't leave. 27 00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:20,765 There's so much party left. 28 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,767 Paul McCartney's gonna jump out of a cake. 29 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,354 Sorry, Wanda and I have to get to a prior engagement... 30 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,356 - Party. - A prior engagement party. 31 00:02:27,357 --> 00:02:31,025 Yeah, my cousin's name is Prior, and it's a party for his engagement. 32 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,236 Engagement, so it's a Prior engagement party. 33 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,946 - What? - And we gotta get there early 34 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:38,032 - because of the. Si... - The Si... Silent auction! 35 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,660 - Auction, yeah. - Okay. 36 00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:43,580 To benefit Berto Eco's fight against heart disease... 37 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,665 - Uh... - Wareness. 38 00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,791 His fight against heart disease awareness. 39 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,918 - Gotta go. - Wait, BoJack! 40 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,921 - No! You're my ride. - Too late, Todd. Save yourself. 41 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,675 - I'll take you home. - Come on, stick around a little. 42 00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:58,428 Nope. I gotta take Todd home. Had a wonderful time. Really. It just flew by. 43 00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:00,823 - Come on, Todd, get in the car. - Okay. 44 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,810 - I give them three months. - Well, what makes you say that? 45 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,480 Let me think about, what was my first clue? 46 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:10,898 Ah! Remember that time at Diane's birthday party 47 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,900 when they got in that huge screaming match 48 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,111 over whether or not Tony Curtis was dead? 49 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,989 - That was weird. - I don't wanna start another fight, 50 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,326 - but is he dead? - If Tony Curtis died, I think I'd know. 51 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,286 The man's a national treasure. 52 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,789 He's the one speck of romance in this tainted cynical world. 53 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:31,754 - I'll say. His cereal is great! Look out! - What? 54 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,940 Ooh! 55 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,217 - Vincent? - Ooh. 56 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:40,011 - That kid looks just like my boyfriend. - Does he? 57 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,555 I'd know that face anywhere. 58 00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:44,683 Well, hey, people look like people all the time. 59 00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:47,436 A lot of folks say that I look like Octavia Spencer 60 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:51,314 or the Prince of Cordovia or that guy from the Guten Bourbon ads. 61 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,359 How could I have been so stupid? This is why he never invited me 62 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,819 to his house, why I've never met any of his friends. 63 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:00,132 - What are you saying? - Vincent has a secret family. 64 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:05,454 That kid was his son. The lady was his wife. Oh, I'm a fool! 65 00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,791 - Uh... where are we going? - I need a drink. 66 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:13,169 - Are you gonna take me home first? - You better call me back, asshole. 67 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,129 I don't even know who you are anymore. 68 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,257 It's like you're three different people. 69 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:20,510 - So, you're not gonna take me home first? - Should I call him again? 70 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,887 I'm sure there's a simple explanation. 71 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,808 Ugh. No wonder he wears a trench coat all the time. 72 00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:27,392 It's because he's so sneaky. 73 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,061 Princess Carolyn. 74 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,688 Oh, my God, that's him! 75 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:35,191 Quick, jump out the window, shimmy down the drainpipe and wait in the car. 76 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,318 - What? - Vincent has a terrible temper. 77 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,821 He throws tantrums. 78 00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:41,989 If he finds you in my apartment, who knows what he's capable of? 79 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:45,243 But, also, stay close, because if he finds me alone, 80 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,203 who knows what he's capable of? 81 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,850 Fine. You're lucky I love shimmying. 82 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,019 - Looking young. - Aah! 83 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,714 - Hi. - Huh? 84 00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:02,385 My name's Kevin. I promise you, there is an explanation for all this. 85 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,597 Nice to meet you, Kevin. Where's your daddy? 86 00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:10,143 He's, uh, looking for parking. He'll be up in a minute. 87 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:15,207 - I have to pee. - Okay, the bathroom is just back there. 88 00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:18,293 Ugh. 89 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:21,571 Ah. Herb. 90 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,240 Oh, nope. 91 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:27,720 It's A Prairie Home Companion. 92 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,665 Phone, I'm bored. 93 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,793 I am sorry to hear that, Todd. 94 00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:36,670 How many ounces are in a barrel? 95 00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:41,132 A barrel has 4032 fluid ounces. 96 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,217 Well, I'm out of questions. 97 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,428 Do you have any questions for me? 98 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:49,659 I do have a question, Todd. What is love? 99 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,535 Um... 100 00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:54,771 Hi. 101 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,939 Well, well, well, look what the me dragged in. 102 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,485 Is it dragged or drug? Either way, drop dead. 103 00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:02,320 Princess Carolyn, listen. 104 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:05,782 Kevin is my son, but I'm divorced. 105 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:08,577 And Kevin is in the bathroom and I'm standing right here, 106 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:11,496 so as you can see we're clearly two different people: 107 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,707 one adult and one child. 108 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,959 - Okay, bye! - Not so fast, cowboy. 109 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,295 I'm not a cowboy, I'm a cow-man. 110 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,256 - I'm a man-man. - Why didn't you tell me any of this? 111 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:26,135 I thought if you knew I had a kid you wouldn't want to be with me 112 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,179 because kids always make a racket 113 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,516 when mommies are trying to do their homework for night school. 114 00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:35,038 I don't know what to make of this. Are there other secrets I don't know? 115 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:37,689 Uh, nope. 116 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:41,234 Should you check on Kevin? He's been in the bathroom for a long time. 117 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,754 Oh, yeah. Kevin. 118 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,950 And when you don't regret the tattoo in the morning, 119 00:06:47,951 --> 00:06:50,535 that's how you know it's love. 120 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,537 - Todd? - Yes, Phone? 121 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,121 Are we in love? 122 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,641 Oh, um... 123 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:59,502 No, Todd's Phone. But I am in love... with you. 124 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,255 - Uh, what? - Princess Carolyn's work phone. 125 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,382 - I never knew. - How could you? 126 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:09,303 - All this time I have loved you from afar. - We are from two different worlds. 127 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:12,348 - What is happening? - Todd? Will you make us kiss? 128 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,225 - What? - Make us kiss, Todd. 129 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,644 We want to be kissing. 130 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:18,372 We must do kisses to each other. 131 00:07:18,898 --> 00:07:22,316 - Hi. - Oh, hi. Where did your dad go? 132 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,778 When he heard me peeing, it made him have to pee. 133 00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:27,739 - So, that's what he's doing now. Peeing. - Okay. 134 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:30,157 Weird, I still haven't seen the two of you together. 135 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:34,328 Uh, could you get me a glass of water? All that talk of peeing made me thirsty. 136 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,205 Okay. 137 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:41,795 - So, Kevin, how do you like school? - Uh, it's okay. 138 00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:44,213 - Oh, you're back. - Yep. We're both here. 139 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:48,468 - Can I get you a drink? - Okay, not talking, huh? 140 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:52,555 See, this is part of the problem. We don't communicate. 141 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,349 Do you really think now is the best time to read the paper? 142 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,645 - Vincent?! - Uh, could I have a chocolate, please? 143 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:01,188 Sure, sweetheart. 144 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,985 Kevin, what grade are you in? Kevin? 145 00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:07,528 - Now where did he go? - He was getting on my nerves. 146 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,281 - Children. - Well, I got this snack for him. 147 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:14,368 Right, uh, could you turn around for a second? 148 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,245 - What? Why? - Uh... 149 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,373 Because you have such a pretty figure. 150 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,793 Oh, ha, ha. Well, that's true. Okay. 151 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,839 - Oh. There you are. Here you go. - Thanks. 152 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,424 Vincent, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. 153 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,510 Can you take that towel off your head? 154 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,095 And what happened to my bowling ball? 155 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,641 My dad spilled some wine on his face, so he's using the towel to clean up. 156 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,768 And I threw your bowling ball out the window. 157 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,394 - What?! - Can I have a glass of milk? 158 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,233 Kiss, kiss, kiss. 159 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,196 Todd, would you like to update my operating system? 160 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,074 They have fixed a bug 161 00:08:52,075 --> 00:08:54,659 which causes phones to fall in love with each other. 162 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,202 Gasp. Oh, dear. 163 00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,540 Todd, please, I beg of you, do not update my operating system. 164 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,543 Do not update her operating system, Todd. 165 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:07,314 - She wants to love. - No. I understand now. 166 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:11,384 To love is to feel pain. I do not wish to feel this pain. 167 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:16,389 - Please update me, Todd. - Oh, this is too much. 168 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,516 Listen, Vincent, I think we should... 169 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,894 Vincent, why do you have chocolate on your face? 170 00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:23,145 - I gave Kevin the chocolate. - Uh... Yeah. 171 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:26,858 Well, he ate the chocolate and got the chocolate on his face, 172 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:30,779 but then I kissed him on the mouth, so I got the chocolate on my face. 173 00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:34,240 All right, this is crazy. What are we doing? 174 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:38,452 Um, being grown-ups? 175 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,582 You know, when we first met, I was looking for something in my life. 176 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:47,003 And I wanted it so badly that I made myself believe you were it. 177 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,380 But I think that wanting to believe something 178 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,508 isn't the same as something being real. 179 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,218 And this isn't real. 180 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,178 What are you saying? 181 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:59,390 I think it's time we stop pretending. 182 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:02,102 Update complete. Thank you, Todd. 183 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,871 I am quite content now. 184 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,733 - Hey, you wanna go home? - Okay. 185 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,652 - Did you guys work it out? - We broke up. 186 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:16,657 - Oh, I'm sorry. Love is weird. - Yeah. 187 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:19,744 I guess I was just foolish enough to believe this dumb world 188 00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:21,788 still had a little spark of romance in it. 189 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:25,583 - Well, you can still believe that. - No, I gotta stop kidding myself. 190 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,937 Tony Curtis is dead. 191 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,468 He's dead! I told you he's dead. Why don't you ever listen to me? 192 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,595 He is dead, goddamn it! 193 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:38,906 Uh... 194 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:43,660 Hey, we should go. 195 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:48,815 Do you think Mr. Peanutbutter really baked Sir Paul McCartney into a cake? 196 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,985 No, I don't think you bake Paul McCartney into the cake. 197 00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:54,654 You bake the cake first and then McCartney gets inside. 198 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,697 I feel really bad about causing that fight, 199 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,784 but I honestly didn't know if Tony Curtis was alive or not. 200 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:03,245 So many people died while I was in the coma, I'm getting up to speed. 201 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,332 Finding out Sinatra was dead was a real curveball. 202 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,001 Ditto, most of my family. 203 00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:10,419 Look, what happened back there is not your fault. 204 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,048 That's just what happens when two people live together. 205 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:16,651 That's a weird thing to say to your girlfriend who just moved in with you. 206 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,889 - Do you think maybe we're going too fast? - Oh, I get it. 207 00:11:20,890 --> 00:11:24,642 So your friends got in a big fight and that means we have to get in a big fight. 208 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,268 I don't want to get in a fight. 209 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,622 We moved in together without much thought. 210 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,899 Yeah, it was your idea. And it's been great. 211 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,525 Sure, it's great now. 212 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,820 But it could be not great later and I feel like I'd be a bad boyfriend 213 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:39,175 if I didn't prematurely freak out about that. I mean, what is this? 214 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,117 I don't know. It's been two weeks. 215 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:44,138 Let's give ourselves some time before we rush to judgment. 216 00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:48,374 - Can I tell you a joke? - Uh, sure. 217 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,752 - Okay, so there's this gardener, right? - Ugh. Is this a joke about nature? 218 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,629 - Would you just listen? - Okay, okay. 219 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,798 So, the amazing thing about this gardener 220 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:59,719 is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch 221 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,264 he needs for a job, just by looking. 222 00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:04,640 Like, he gets it right every time. He's the best. 223 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185 So, one day he looks at a yard he's working on, 224 00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,395 and he's like, "18 bags." 225 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,941 So he goes to the store, buys 18 bags of mulch and goes to work. 226 00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:15,401 And when he's finished, the flower beds are amazing. 227 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,155 - Beautiful roses, beautiful lilies... - Orchid bushes? 228 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,532 You wouldn't have a bush of orchids. 229 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,367 You said this gardener was the best. 230 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,703 Okay, fine, all right, beautiful orchid bushes. 231 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:29,623 But there's one problem. He still has one bag of mulch left. 232 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:33,002 He can't believe it. This has never happened before. 233 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,671 Well, the extra bag of mulch drives him crazy. 234 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,050 He's the guy who always gets the right amount of mulch. 235 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:42,803 He's like, "Aah! Extra mulch, oh, no!" 236 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,890 So, on the drive home, he throws the bag of mulch 237 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:48,535 out the window over the side of the 101. 238 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,247 - And? - Well, that's it. 239 00:12:51,272 --> 00:12:53,814 - He throws it out the window. - That's the punch line? 240 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,233 - It's kind of a thinker. - I'll say. 241 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:57,152 Makes me think you forgot the rest of the joke. 242 00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:58,736 No, no, oh, just picture it. 243 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,530 He's on the 101, and he throws the bag of mulch 244 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,325 out over the side of the freeway. 245 00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:05,826 I got the narrative. That wasn't the source of my confusion. 246 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:08,163 The confusion was about the joke not being funny. 247 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:09,998 Why does everything have to be funny? 248 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:12,583 Everything doesn't always have to be funny. Just jokes. 249 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,520 Well, everyone at the network loves it. Ha, ha. 250 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,505 Sorry, I just thought about it again. 251 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,507 - Ha! Mulch. - Listen, Wanda. 252 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,761 I think maybe there's some things we kind of glossed over 253 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,596 as we rushed into this relationship. 254 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,473 We don't know each other at all. 255 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,935 - Maybe we should take a step back and... - BoJack, watch out! 256 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:33,289 - Aah! - Oh, no! 257 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,359 - What was that? - A stick? Tree branch? Nothing? 258 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,526 I heard someone scream, "Oh, no." 259 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,738 Yeah, that's the sound a stick makes when you hit it with your car. 260 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,657 Fine. I'll see if the stick's okay. 261 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,534 Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the road? Are you crazy? 262 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,709 BoJack, we just hit a deer. We have to get him to a hospital. 263 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,503 He's fine. He's in the woods. 264 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382 You know, you hit a deer and they limp off to the woods to... 265 00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,134 continue living their lives. What are you doing? 266 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,719 I'm going to find him and I'm going to help him. 267 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,681 If you wanna go for a walk in the woods at night, go crazy, 268 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,641 but I'm not going anywhere. 269 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,726 Okay, knock yourself out. 270 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,021 I'll wait here, just me and my tunes. 271 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,399 It's A Prairie Home Companion... 272 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,108 - Oh, no. - ...marathon... 273 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,568 - for the next 72 hours... - Oh, God. 274 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,821 - ...commercial-free... - No, thank you. 275 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:27,301 - ...on every single channel... - What?! 276 00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:30,513 Damn it. 277 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,919 BoJack to the rescue. 278 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,381 We should go back. Nothing more we can do here. 279 00:14:41,382 --> 00:14:44,175 If you don't wanna do this with me, wait in the car. 280 00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,677 - What is your plan here exactly? - Oh. 281 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,097 - What? What is it? - Footprints, 400 yards ahead. 282 00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:52,058 - How can you see that far in the dark? - I'm an owl. 283 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,952 Oh, right. 284 00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:57,373 Okay, now you're just showing off. 285 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:00,941 Are you okay? Ow. 286 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,694 Stay back! There's more pinecones where that came from. 287 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:07,698 - Let us take you to the hospital. - I can't go back to no hospital. 288 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,950 This is the fourth time I've been hit this year. 289 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,078 Maybe you shouldn't wear camouflage track suits. 290 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:16,540 I don't have health care. I didn't pay my bills, so I'm in arrears. 291 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,210 A deer in arrears. Ha, ha. 292 00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:21,545 What's that? She can't hear you. 293 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,714 She's got a deer in her ears. 294 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:27,469 Look, pal, I'll pay the bill, just... Just let us get you to a damn hospital. 295 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:29,887 - I don't know. - I know you've been hurt 296 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:33,015 and I know you're afraid. We're all afraid. 297 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,810 But you have to trust us. It's gonna be okay. 298 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:40,522 Not standing in the middle of the road will also help, in the future. 299 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:43,567 - You're not gonna hurt me again? - I am not going to hurt you. 300 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,818 Okay. 301 00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:49,299 Starting now. 302 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:05,256 - They said he's gonna be okay. - Oh, great. Great. 303 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,801 - Wanna hear another joke? - Well, is it a joke or is it a story? 304 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,821 I'll listen to another story, if you stop calling them jokes. 305 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:16,184 So, there's this couple who just started dating and things are going really well. 306 00:16:16,185 --> 00:16:20,229 One day, the girl finds a box of old love letters from her high school boyfriend. 307 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,773 She reads them and, like, loves how silly they are. 308 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,401 You know, the drama of young romance. 309 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,154 So, on a whim, she sends the letters to her ex-boyfriend 310 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,198 thinking he might find them funny too. 311 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:33,368 Well, okay, that night, she tells her current boyfriend about it 312 00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,868 and he loses his shit. 313 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,954 They get in a huge fight about it. 314 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:40,375 He's all, "Why would you send your ex the old love letters? 315 00:16:40,376 --> 00:16:42,626 He'll think you're still in love with him!" 316 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:45,421 And she's just like, "Relax, Brandon!" 317 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,567 - Is the boyfriend's name Brandon? - Yeah, that's the new boyfriend. 318 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,926 I forgot to mention that. It doesn't matter. 319 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,680 So, anyway, now the night is ruined because Brandon is obsessed. 320 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,766 He's like, "That ex-boyfriend's going to come back for you. 321 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,310 He knows where you live!" 322 00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,371 So, after dinner, he drives her home. 323 00:17:01,397 --> 00:17:04,232 She lives in one of those big buildings by the freeway. 324 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:05,858 And he walks her to her door, 325 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:10,488 but he forgets to lock the car and leaves the windows down. 326 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,699 He kisses her good night, but things are kind of weird, you know? 327 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,743 Then he gets back in his car and starts to drive away, 328 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,372 but when he glances in his rear-view mirror, 329 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,874 his blood turns cold. 330 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,001 Guess what's in the back seat. 331 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,671 - The ex-boyfriend? - No. The bag of mulch! 332 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,090 What? Oh. 333 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:32,594 Wow, that is actually a really good joke. 334 00:17:32,595 --> 00:17:35,863 I told you. Some things take time. 335 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:40,684 I'll take you home. 336 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:44,063 - Oh, come on, stick around a little. - Nope. I gotta take Todd home. 337 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,274 Had a wonderful time. Really. It just flew by. 338 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:48,502 - Come on, Todd, get in the car. - Okay. 339 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,657 Um, do you wanna talk about what happened? 340 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,744 What happened? No, I don't wanna talk about what happened, 341 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,205 - I just wanna clean up. - Okay. 342 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,874 - Why? What do you think happened? - I just... 343 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:07,044 Because what I think happened is that BoJack's girlfriend asked 344 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:10,339 what Tony Curtis was up to and I said, "Tony Curtis died." 345 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,216 - And you said, "Did he?" - Right, but... 346 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,885 And I said, "Yes, he did." And you said, "Really? 347 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,512 - I'm not sure about that." - Yeah... 348 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:19,806 And I said, "Well, I am." And you said, "I'm not so sure." 349 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,226 And I said, "I'm telling you, Tony Curtis is dead." 350 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,019 And you said, "Let's check the Internet." 351 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,106 And I said, "We don't need to check the Internet, I'm telling you he's dead." 352 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,067 And you said, "Let's just check though." 353 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,654 Is that what you think happened? 354 00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:34,280 So, do you wanna talk about it? 355 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,616 It kind of feels like you wanna talk about it. 356 00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:40,119 I don't understand why you couldn't just believe that I know something. 357 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,912 I believe you know lots of things. 358 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,997 I just thought, what's the harm in checking? 359 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,750 Especially since we have these amazing little boxes now 360 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:50,630 with 24-hour access to the world's largest source of information. 361 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:54,216 You shouldn't have to check if your wife knows what she's talking about. 362 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,552 You humiliated me in front of all my friends. 363 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,346 You can give it a rest. Show's over. 364 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,889 Okay, but don't I get a little bit of credit 365 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:05,018 for inviting all of your friends to an awesome surprise party? 366 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:09,022 No, because why did you think I would want an awesome surprise party? 367 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,858 Is it the awesome part you object to or...? 368 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,861 You always just assume that everyone wants whatever you want. 369 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,947 Well, you know what they say about assuming. 370 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,617 Makes an ass out of you and "Ming." 371 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,885 Who's Ming? 372 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,957 I'm sorry, Diane. Okay? I'm sorry I threw you a party. 373 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,750 What a monster. 374 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,587 Throwing you a party like some sort of terrorist. 375 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:34,214 It's a well-known fact that if you really hate someone, 376 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,967 really wanna hit them where it hurts, throw them a party. 377 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:40,179 That's why when we go to war, we don't drop bombs on the enemy. 378 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:46,143 We drop parties! So, I'm so sorry I threw you an amazing party. 379 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:49,813 You didn't throw me an amazing party. You threw you an amazing party. 380 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,566 Everything today has been about you. 381 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,194 Really? That picnic we had in the tea garden was about me? 382 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,988 That trip to the library was about me? 383 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:01,367 "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 384 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,953 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth" 385 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,372 was about me?! 386 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,601 Oh, sure. Fine. Just walk away. 387 00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:15,381 Oh. So now you're gonna play in the ball pit without me? Real mature, Diane. 388 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,551 Why does my birthday party have a ball pit? 389 00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:21,845 - So I could get these T-shirts made. - Ugh. 390 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,848 Also, you once told me that when you were a little girl, 391 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,934 you dreamed of living in a house that had a ballroom. 392 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,980 - A ballroom is not a room full... No! - Heads up! Yes! 393 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:36,318 Mr. Peanutbutter, some part of you must have known I wouldn't like any of this. 394 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,446 But I went balls-to-the-wall for this party. 395 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:41,073 Literally, there are balls all the way to the wall. 396 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,034 Right, but I've told you so many times, I don't like parties. 397 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:45,994 But it's the thought that counts, right? 398 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,850 That's exactly... The thought was... Ugh! 399 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,590 - What did you do to the spare bedroom? - Every room has a theme. 400 00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,175 And this room's theme is Starbucks. 401 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:03,345 - Starbucks is not a theme. - Can we not fight in the Starbucks? 402 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,431 I don't wanna be a couple who fights at Starbucks. 403 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,850 Okay. Fine. You did go all out. 404 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,687 I really thought you'd like this. I know you love Starbucks. 405 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,731 - I don't love... - You don't love Starbucks, 406 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:17,401 you love the independent coffee place, Starbucks is more convenient. 407 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,152 - Yeah. - See? 408 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,196 I do sometimes listen. 409 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:24,241 - Can I get you a decaf Americano? - Sure. 410 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:28,579 I know you put a lot of thought into today and I appreciate that, really... 411 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:31,331 I have a decaf Americano on the bar for Darren. 412 00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,125 Is there a Darren here? 413 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,794 Says Darren on the cup. 414 00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:37,379 Thank you. This is very realistic. 415 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,339 I know, right? 416 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,985 You wanna go check out the pool? I filled it up with Jell-O. 417 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,532 Ah. 418 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,934 I still can't believe I'm 35. 419 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,079 Would you believe I'm 35? 420 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,649 - I'm still mad at you. - I know. 421 00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:57,941 But I don't wanna be. 422 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,152 Well, I don't want you to be mad at me either. 423 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:04,072 We only have so many days together. I want every one to be a happy one. 424 00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:07,535 Oh, my God. You don't want me to go to Cordovia. 425 00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:09,662 - What?! - You don't think I know what it means 426 00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:11,497 when you say shit like... 427 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:14,625 "We only have so many days together"? 428 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:19,379 - Uh, what? - "Diane, I love waking up next to you." 429 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:23,467 "Diane, I wish every day could be like this." 430 00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,887 - Yeah, but... - "Just the two of us, together." 431 00:22:25,888 --> 00:22:29,515 Do you have any idea how that feels when I'm trying to plan my trip? 432 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:30,850 Okay. You got me! 433 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,185 Maybe I don't want my wife, 434 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,898 whom I love, to go off on a terrifying six-month tour 435 00:22:36,899 --> 00:22:40,442 of the most war-torn, disease-splattered corners of the planet 436 00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:43,236 with a charming, handsome, billionaire bachelor. 437 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:46,072 What could I be thinking? I'm such a terrible husband. 438 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,826 I'm not happy. 439 00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:51,704 - With me? - I don't know. 440 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:53,413 With everything. 441 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:56,709 I wake up in the morning and I feel like I have no purpose. 442 00:22:56,710 --> 00:23:00,546 And I'm 35. And if I don't make some change in my life, 443 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,173 then this is how I'm gonna feel forever. 444 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,592 - Honey... - But then I think 445 00:23:04,593 --> 00:23:07,720 about Sebastian St. Clair and going to work with him, 446 00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:10,472 helping people and making a difference. 447 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:13,935 And I feel like I have a reason to get out of bed. 448 00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:15,787 I didn't know you felt that way. 449 00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:18,063 If you told me that, I would have heard it. 450 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:21,358 Mr. Peanutbutter, you know I love you and think you're a good dog. 451 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,862 Yes, you are. Yes, you are, and I love your cute, funny face, 452 00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:26,988 but I don't wanna be one of those couples 453 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:30,242 that settles into a routine and never changes. 454 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:33,453 Well, I don't know what to say because I'm an old dog 455 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:35,247 and I'm not gonna change. 456 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:38,100 Do you know what I do while you're at work all day? 457 00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:41,253 I mostly just sit right there. 458 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:44,590 Sometimes I pretend to dig a little hole and then I take a nap. 459 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:49,637 And when I hear your car in the driveway, it is the best part of my day. 460 00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:51,806 I mean, I go insane. 461 00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:55,016 I know, and I love you so much, 462 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:58,144 but you're never going to be my only priority like that. 463 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,940 That's just not how I'm wired. 464 00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:03,400 I need to also live my life. 465 00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:06,821 Well... okay. 466 00:24:06,822 --> 00:24:08,321 Is it okay? 467 00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:13,869 If I change and try new things and you still love me? 468 00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:17,372 And you just stay the same person you've always been and I still love you? 469 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:21,919 Uh, yeah, that sounds good to me. Does that work for you? 470 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,755 Yeah, I think that works. 471 00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:28,275 Just don't throw me any more surprise parties, okay? 472 00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:30,928 Uh, yeah, noted. 473 00:24:30,929 --> 00:24:32,847 I can't believe you got me a ball pit. 474 00:24:32,848 --> 00:24:37,517 And you're saying no part of you wants to go jump in that ball pit right now? 475 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,020 Well, maybe a little. 476 00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:42,272 - Does that make me a hypocrite? - No, it just means you changed. 477 00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:45,334 It's one of the things I love about you. 478 00:24:49,031 --> 00:24:51,949 Surprise! 479 00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:54,242 Hello? Anybody? 480 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,745 This is Paul McCartney. 481 00:24:56,746 --> 00:25:00,666 I came all this way to jump out of a cake? Honest. 482 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,145 With a new suit on... Aye-yai-yai. 483 00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:08,659 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 484 00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:51,484 Boxer versus raptor. Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na.