1 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,141 [BoJack] What is acting? 2 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,101 Anyone? 3 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,437 - Anyone? - [grunts] 4 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:26,484 Acting is about leaving everything behind, and... [clicks tongue, sighs] 5 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:30,113 And becoming something completely new. 6 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,157 What is acting? Anyone? 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,326 Acting is about leaving everything behind, and... 8 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,830 becoming something completely new. 9 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,790 [exhales deeply] 10 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,959 [classical music] 11 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,377 [pants] 12 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:48,298 Becoming something completely new. [sighs] 13 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,466 [both] Huh? 14 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,009 [exhales] Hey-o! 15 00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,845 [chuckles nervously] Oh... 16 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,647 What is acting? 17 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,024 Anyone? 18 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,609 Anyone? 19 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:13,239 Acting is about leaving everything behind and becoming something completely new. 20 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,160 Nailed it. 21 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,207 [grunts] 22 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,335 And that's a Sharpie. 23 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,420 [theme music playing] 24 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,024 [clears throat] 25 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,110 Good morning, my name is Professor Horseman, 26 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,987 which will remain on that whiteboard forever, 27 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,489 and this is Intermediate Scene Study. 28 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,658 What is acting? Anyone? 29 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:41,119 - [all] Ooh! - Oh! Okay. You. 30 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,787 According to Stanislothski, 31 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,415 acting is the desire to create inside of oneself 32 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,333 another, deeper, more interesting life 33 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,419 than the one that actually surrounds him... 34 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,336 or her. 35 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,214 - Oh, okay, yes, but also... Yes? - [girl] Oh! 36 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:57,051 Meisner would say, "Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances." 37 00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:00,054 Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances. 38 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,932 Uh, okay, wow. So, that's acting. But what is...? 39 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,895 Guys, I'm concerned this class is getting very theory-qua-theory... 40 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:07,978 I was about to say that. 41 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,232 ...when technique should be a means toward a more engaging art. 42 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,319 - Well, quite astute. - Sorry, horse professor. What's acting? 43 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,402 Um... 44 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,780 Acting is the, um... [grunts] 45 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,866 Acting is... 46 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,617 Uh... 47 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,997 I don't know what acting is. I don't know what I'm doing. 48 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,165 I shouldn't be here. 49 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,958 - [boy] Wow. - [girl] Oh! 50 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,046 No, I don't want to quit. I'm acting! That's acting. 51 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:33,963 Oh! 52 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,757 Class dismissed. 53 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,801 But we still have an hour and 20 minutes left. 54 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,595 Yes. Again, I was acting. 55 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:41,930 You sounded serious. 56 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:45,016 Instead of judging my acting, how about you act and I judge you? 57 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,601 - For real? - Yeah. Good point. 58 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,187 We could show you the scenes we were working on last semester. 59 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,939 Uh, sure. 60 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,567 - This is from "Kablammo, Mother." - Whenever you're ready. 61 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,405 Mama, where's Daddy's old World War II grenade with the pin still in it? 62 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,408 [in British accent] Why would you want an old thing like that? 63 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:07,413 Tonight, I intend to explode myself. Where are the extra towels? 64 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,957 - Okay, okay. Stop, stop. - What? 65 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,834 - Does this play take place in England? - [normal voice] No. 66 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,920 So why are you talking with an English accent? 67 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,129 I'm acting. 68 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,758 Just as an exercise, maybe use your normal voice. 69 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,844 And Tawnie, when you're telling your mother you're gonna kill yourself, 70 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,389 the next line is, "Where are the extra towels," right? 71 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,057 And the character's being very casual, 72 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,185 so maybe she should also be casual when she says she's gonna kill herself. 73 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,854 Like it's a big deal, but it's not a big deal for her. 74 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,149 - Like that's the irony of the scene. - Whoa! That's really smart. 75 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,944 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 76 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,113 Okay, let's see it again. 77 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,158 So, darling, what fun and games shall we play? 78 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,952 Shall we play Scattergories? 79 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,371 [raspy voice] I detest Scattergories! 80 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,499 Whatever the prompt, you always answer in vague allusions 81 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,459 to the baby we never had! 82 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,420 Stop. You're both talking to the audience. 83 00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,631 I want you to talk to each other, you're having a conversation. 84 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,011 - Hey! Who's you? - Who's me? Screw you is who's me! 85 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,514 I got the leads. The Gooba Gooberry Falls leads. 86 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,017 Mm! Them's them good leads. 87 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,729 - Hubba hubba, I'm horny for leads! - Okay, here's my question for you. 88 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,064 Does your character know he's horny for leads, 89 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,025 or is he discovering it? 90 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,610 Who's next? Great. What's the scene? 91 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,738 The scene is I'm late for my next class. 92 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,698 We were supposed to get out 20 minutes ago. 93 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,616 Oh, shit. Sorry. See you Wednesday. 94 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,744 Great work today. Way to go, team. 95 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,747 We did it. That was great, huh? How good was I? 96 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,583 - [sighs] - [door closes] 97 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,381 Whitfield, we've been here six weeks. How do you think this is going? 98 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,843 - I think I'm crushing it. - Wow, okay. Well, I admire the confidence. 99 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,887 I know you're an acting major. 100 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,808 And I guess I just... I wanted to make sure that you're taking other classes. 101 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:54,228 Like, Economics, or maybe a plumbing course. 102 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,147 Or rental car cashier class? I don't know. 103 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,775 What would you want to do if the acting thing doesn't work out? 104 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,651 Hold up, do you think I'm not a good actor? 105 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,611 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 106 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,114 You said "Not a good actor." But now that you've said it... 107 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,950 Some would say there are no bad actors, only bad teachers. 108 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,120 What about Jason Segel? He was a bad actor in Bad Teacher. 109 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,331 I am a wonderful actor. 110 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,084 You'll see. 111 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,668 - [door closes] - Okay. 112 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,215 She knew I was drunk, 113 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,634 but she still let me drive off with Jonathan. 114 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,095 Whoa, oh! I'm a drunk! 115 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,679 Jesus, I had no idea, I... 116 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,932 Booze has taken everything from me. 117 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:34,185 - My job as an airline pilot, my wife. - Huh? What the...? 118 00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,311 Those two things. 119 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,146 [sighs] Okay. I see what's happening. 120 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,066 Sorry, everybody. This is one of my acting students. 121 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,110 - He's trying to, um... - Who's Whitfield? 122 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,196 - Nobody said "Whitfield." - My name is Whip Whitaker. 123 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,491 - Did you follow me here? - I drank the vodka bottles on the plane. 124 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,161 Drove the plane upside-downsy. Yeah, I'm drunk now. 125 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,287 - Wow. - No, don't... 126 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,539 We've all been there, man. 127 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,333 He hasn't been there. That's the plot of the movie Flight. 128 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,043 Glug, glug, glug. 129 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,337 - That wet the ol' whistle. - So sorry, everyone. 130 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,675 Now I'm completely over the 0.8 percent blood alcohol level. 131 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,428 - I'm in trouble. I am wasted. - This is very disrespectful. 132 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,972 - Hammered... - We work hard to create a safe space here. 133 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,766 - ...tanked, blitzed... - So sorry about that. I recognize that. 134 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,561 - ...Irish, canned, smashed... - I value this room, just know that. 135 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,772 - ...annihilated, laced, faded. - Really sorry about all of this. 136 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,276 - So sorry. - In conclusion, I am a drunk. 137 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,987 The big D. 138 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:30,575 - Fine. Shut up. You're a drunk. - Aha! Wrong, I was acting! 139 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,995 It appears the student has become the student-er. 140 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,788 [sighing] 141 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,166 Wow, an actor. 142 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,006 - Uh... [grunts] - [crowd cheering] 143 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,716 [panting] 144 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,635 [both grunt] 145 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,598 Foul! That fowl fouled, ref! Where's the whistle? 146 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:56,976 - Ugh! - There are women tossing women everywhere! 147 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,604 What is this, the Running of the Brides at Filene's Basement? 148 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,063 Who's with me? 149 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,399 [slurps] 150 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,317 Okay. 151 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,236 - Um, they're allowed to do that in rugby. - What? Really? 152 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,239 Also, nobody knows what Filene's Basement is. 153 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,634 That's a shame. You definitely paid too much for that coat. 154 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,744 - [whistle trills] - Oh, is it over? Did we win? 155 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,874 [exhales] Hey, you're really good. I think. 156 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:23,753 Don't feel like you have to come to these things if it's not your thing. 157 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,839 No, I liked it. Look at us. Doing college. 158 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:31,677 I'm just saying you have your things and I have my things. It's okay. 159 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,804 - You wanna get something to eat? - I-I can't. 160 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,766 When we win, we all go to Conspiracy to celebrate. 161 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,560 - Sounds fun. Can I join you? - I don't think you should. 162 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,146 It's a bar, and there will be alcohol there. 163 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,856 - That's okay. - And young girls. 164 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,777 - What's that have to do with anything? - Nothing. Just stating a fact. 165 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,489 - Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll see you. - Wouldn't wanna be you! 166 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,616 But I would. You're cool. 167 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,576 Thank you. 168 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,452 Hmm. 169 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,710 Yes, good. Keep doing what they're doing. 170 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,213 [sighs] Tawnie, you're Hollyhock's best friend... 171 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,423 - We're actually in a fight right now. - Again? 172 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,717 Our fights are like Adele songs. 173 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,345 All kind of the same one, but with different specifics. 174 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,932 - Well, do you understand this rugby thing? - Uh, honestly? No. 175 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,435 She came back from winter break super aggro, but that's Hollyhock, right? 176 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,854 Suddenly, she decides, "This is what I'm all about now, 177 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,815 and everyone else just has to get on board." 178 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,441 What are we supposed to do with that? 179 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,945 - Whoa! - I guess... get on board. 180 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,446 [whistle trills] 181 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,574 Get it out, get it... Yes, nice. 182 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,576 Nice run! Very nice! 183 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,494 Touchdown! That's my sister! 184 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,578 Good try! 185 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,330 Try? She did it. She scored. 186 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,790 It's called a try. 187 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,625 Try to keep up. 188 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,545 - Hey! Hey! - [sighing] 189 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,382 - Yeah! - Yes, Cardinals! 190 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,967 - All right! - All right! 191 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,467 [both grunt] 192 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,557 The two teams applaud each other, and then the referees. 193 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,559 As is customary. See footnote. 194 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:02,977 We know. 195 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,562 What's up, rugger? 196 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,897 Two tries, two conversions, and a drop goal? 197 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,774 Jonah Lomu over here. 198 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,860 - Great game, Hock. - Oh, Hock. 199 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,987 I like it. Can I get a nickname too, Regina? 200 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,198 How about, "Professor Horseman, adult faculty member"? 201 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,868 - We have to go. - Yeah, go. 202 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,370 Go. See you. See you on the scrumming pitch. 203 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,288 [whistle trills] 204 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,373 W-E-S-leyan! 205 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,334 We will rock and maul and win! 206 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,918 Wait. Where's Hollyhock? 207 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,589 You mean Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero... 208 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,093 Hey. What the hell? You quit rugby? 209 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,055 God. You sound like three of my dads. 210 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,349 - The other five were relieved. - You were good. 211 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,436 I need to focus on my studies. I'm not just here to get my ya-yas out. 212 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,355 Yeah, but rugby's our thing. 213 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,438 [sighs] 214 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,858 Okay, then I guess we'll just... We'll find a new thing. 215 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,695 How about my thing is reading Gender Trouble by Judith Butler, 216 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,989 and your thing is being a teacher? 217 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:57,990 Are you okay? 218 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,826 [sighs] I'm just busy with school stuff. 219 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,828 You got your showcase in a couple weeks? 220 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,705 "An Evening of Modern American Scenes"? 221 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,957 Yeah. I'll... I'll go to that. 222 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,294 - Great. I'll see you then. - Yeah, see you then. 223 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,754 Not if I see you first...! 224 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,344 [phone ringing, beeps] 225 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,428 - Hello? - Hey, listen. 226 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,722 - It's your very good accountant, Gaz. - Hey, Gaz. 227 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,933 I just noticed you spent a lot of money last year. 228 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,977 - Did you go to rehab? Like, a lot? - You just noticed that? 229 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,523 I've got a ton of clients, okay? And this was a big cocaine year for me. 230 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,067 But we're fine. Just make another movie, and you'll be fine. 231 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,461 - You're working on a movie? - No. 232 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,487 Actually, I'm a college professor now. 233 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,572 [sputters] What, do you hate money? 234 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,241 - Gaz... - Ah, no, no, no, it's fine. 235 00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,594 Basically, we're fine. As I told my wife before she left me, 236 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,704 I'm not worried, and you shouldn't be either. 237 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,467 We may need to unload some assets, though. 238 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,249 - You still own that restaurant? - Elefante? 239 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,377 I'd love to dump that money pit, but what idiot would buy it? 240 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:56,340 - Sold! On this arrangement. - Of course you're sold. It was your idea. 241 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,218 Explain it to me one more time? 242 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,053 Okay. You'll spend a lot of time 243 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,806 with international superstar sex symbol, Joey Pogo, 244 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,683 building a close emotional bond. 245 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,327 After you've established that connection, 246 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:10,396 you'll share one magical evening of intimate sexual congress, 247 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,939 after which, we'll finally be even. 248 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:15,735 You'll marry me, and the two of you will never see each other again. 249 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,921 - Well, I guess it's worth a try. - ♪ Who's that dog? ♪ 250 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,214 - ♪ Mr. Peanutbutter ♪ - Excuse me. 251 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,364 - [phone beeps] - Hello? No? 252 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,158 Really? Wow, hold on a sec. 253 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,993 Pickles, should I buy Elefante? 254 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,288 Ooh! Then you'd be my husband and my boss. 255 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,206 Like Ike and Tina Turn... No. 256 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,084 - Well, I'm sure there are good examples. - There must be. 257 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,211 But buying a restaurant's a big commitment. 258 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,797 What if I went in on it with you? I like food. 259 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,508 Great idea, Joey Pogo. I'm in! 260 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,511 On you being in. On it. With me. 261 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,722 I've got big ideas for this place. 262 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,932 One word... lazy Susans. 263 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,892 Hold on. 264 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:52,646 Before we make any rash decisions, should we maybe consider the long-term... 265 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,025 [stammers] Pickles, this guy on the phone is waiting, and I don't want to be rude. 266 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,444 Sorry. Of course. Finish your conversation. 267 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,154 - Sold! - [phone beeps] 268 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,239 - Now, you were saying? - ...ramifications. 269 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,033 Lazy Susans. 270 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,913 [raspy voice] Oh, Heidi, you'll never bag a man 271 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,623 with all your talk of feminism, 272 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,876 and your grandfather in Switzerland, and all your little goat friends... 273 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,796 Stop. Terry, this character is 28. 274 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,381 Is that what you think a 28-year-old sounds like? 275 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,841 [normal voice] I mean, yes? 276 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,135 You do the same old-man voice for every character. 277 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,447 Gotta have a gimmick if I'm gonna make it in the show business. 278 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,847 In "the show business," 279 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,892 when they have old man characters, they cast real old men. 280 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,352 - I'll show you. - Please don't. 281 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,646 You'll see. 282 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,065 We still have 20 minutes of class left. 283 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:42,071 I'd driven across that bridge drunk hundreds of times, but never on black ice. 284 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,090 - [door opens] - [Terry in raspy voice] Back in my day, 285 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:47,284 - we called that "the hidden slipperies." - Oh, no. 286 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,120 But we didn't go to meetings and talk about our problems. 287 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,749 - No, we made moonshine in bathtubs. - Please leave. Now. 288 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,060 - Who's Terry? - Nobody said Terry. 289 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,753 Mind if I sit a spell? These old bones need a rest. 290 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:58,754 Sure, take it easy. 291 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,048 Everyone, this is another one of my students. 292 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:04,468 I'm very sorry, I have no idea why they think this is gonna impress me. 293 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,221 I just relieved myself in my adult diaper. 294 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,138 Terry... 295 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:12,434 Here I am, in the twilight of my years, having drunk it all away. 296 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,603 - My job as an airline pilot... - Wow. 297 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,772 - My son... - You don't have a son. 298 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,358 Not anymore I don't, because I abandoned him. 299 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,068 I abandoned my boy! 300 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,862 - [Whitfield] Papa? - My boy! 301 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,114 - Oh, my God. - Papa? Is that you? 302 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,701 I've gone blind, me has, from working in the distillery! 303 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,244 Oh, my sweet child! 304 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,454 Ugh. 305 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544 Todd, why don't you and Ruthie go for a stroll 306 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,296 while I talk to these acting students? 307 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,299 She's just a baby, and I don't want to expose her to too much desperation. 308 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,051 - You got it, boss. - [Ruthie giggles] 309 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,387 Today, we have a very special guest. 310 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,514 This is my friend, Princess Carolyn, 311 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:55,019 who was nice enough to come here to talk about the business of acting. 312 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,771 So, please do not embarrass me. 313 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,356 Oh, no. 314 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,067 How many months until people get discovered, usually? 315 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,070 One? Two? [gasps] Three? 316 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,742 This is more of a comment than a question, but I've seen every Robert Altman movie. 317 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,786 What's the best diner to be discovered in drinking a milkshake? 318 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,746 [sighs] 319 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:17,666 What if I want to do nudity? Do I still have to sign a waiver? 320 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,876 Huh! 321 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,461 [yawns] 322 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,212 Whoo! 323 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,799 Hey, who's the kid that didn't ask a question? 324 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,052 - The brooding kid in the back. - Oh, that's Stan. 325 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,219 That kid's got it. 326 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,638 The look, the sauce, 327 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,682 the power to make me feel like a 13-year-old girl, 328 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,101 and to make a 13-year-old girl feel like a woman. 329 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,311 I wanna cast him. 330 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,194 - You haven't even seen him act. - Is he good? 331 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,149 [sighs] He's the best actor I got. 332 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,401 I had my doubts when he did the scene from Proof, 333 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,205 but when he did the scene from Doubt, I thought, "There's the proof." 334 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,572 - I have to sign him. - No. 335 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,116 Stan needs to finish school. He's a sophomore. 336 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,619 Great! A legal adult but he looks young. 337 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,830 He can play all the roles that other young, impressionable actors can't 338 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,792 because they keep ODing, or going to prison, or going to rehab, 339 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,960 or killing themselves. 340 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,921 - No, he's not ready. - Why don't we let Stan decide? 341 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,174 I want to be your manager. 342 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:11,929 And I can get you Brooding Birthday Boy on "Birthday Dad" right now. 343 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,847 Stan, LA's not going anywhere. 344 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,558 But you need an education, something to keep you grounded. 345 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,561 Stan, look at me. You have an opportunity now. 346 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,439 What do you need, a piece of paper? You're done with this place. 347 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,608 Stan? Stan. Stan, Stan. 348 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:28,612 One day, you're gonna look back and realize these days on campus, 349 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,281 they were the last days you were truly free. 350 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,241 You want "free"? 351 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,327 Check out the Smirnoff Ice gifting suite at the Emmy Awards after-party! 352 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,831 My whole career, all I wanted was to get to a place like this, 353 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:39,999 and I didn't even know it. 354 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,084 Out there, there's nothing to protect you. 355 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,754 No, but there's a Patagonia jacket that says "Birthday Dad" on it 356 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,923 that you get from being on "Birthday Dad." 357 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,802 We're safe here, Stan. Please, don't make the mistake I did. 358 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,723 Come on, you'll get your own chair with your name on it! 359 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,518 - [sighs] Damn it. - Oh, good boy. Yes, he's a good boy. 360 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,937 Okay, first thing, we're gonna get these teeth fixed. 361 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,028 [air horns blaring] 362 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,282 [vocalizing] 363 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,243 Marshmallow? 364 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,205 Thanks! [munching] 365 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,373 That was for the child. 366 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,417 Oh, should've specified. 367 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,211 If she can abstain from eating the marshmallow for 15 minutes, 368 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,130 she'll receive an even bigger reward. 369 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:31,341 An even bigger reward than a marshmallow? 370 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,635 Remember these times, Ruthie. 371 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,720 Mm-hmm. 372 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,223 [phone beeps] 373 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,307 [phone buzzes, beeps] 374 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,661 - Go Todd for Maude! - You're sitting in front of a marshmallow, 375 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:44,122 and if you don't eat it, you get a bigger reward in 15 minutes. 376 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,866 - What do you do? - Don't be a sucker, Todd. 377 00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:46,982 Eat the marshmallow. 378 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,226 Who knows what the world's gonna be like in 15 minutes? 379 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,611 That's all I needed to hear. 380 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:51,945 - Thanks, Maude. - [phone beeps] 381 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,031 [Ruthie giggles] 382 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:58,285 Oh, no! What have I done? We've got to find another marshmallow! 383 00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,597 - [phone buzzes, beeps] - Hey, Todd. You've got the Maude Squad. 384 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,474 Just kidding, it's just Maude. I don't have a squad. 385 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,999 Maude? I didn't go to college. 386 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,210 - Where can I get a marshmallow? - The dining hall? 387 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:09,421 Dining hall? This is Wesleyan, not Hogwarts. 388 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,424 What's in a marshmallow anyway? Maybe I can make one. 389 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,468 I think they're mostly chemicals. 390 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,762 To the chemistry lab! 391 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,101 - [grunts] You! Make me a marshmallow! - [Ruthie giggles] 392 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,394 I'm trying to cure brain cancer. 393 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,480 That's not important right now! 394 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,981 If I don't get a new marshmallow, 395 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,651 some psychiatrist is gonna get mad at this baby. 396 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:31,944 A psychiatrist? 397 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,072 I am so sick of the soft sciences wagging the dog 398 00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,366 in conversations of behavioral development. 399 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,867 Let's teach them a lesson! 400 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,801 - I'm sorry, but the experiment's over. - What? Why? 401 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,804 Because you ate the marshmallow. Good day, sir. 402 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,222 Doctor? 403 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,559 [gasps] 404 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:04,476 You did it! 405 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:09,481 Hello, my name is Willie Wesleyan, and you've won the school, my boy! 406 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,526 Wesleyan University is yours. 407 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:13,986 What? Why? 408 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:17,447 Somebody needs to keep that stuffy old board of trustees in check 409 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,992 once I've shed this mortal skin. 410 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,286 - Oh... - Sorry about that. 411 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,872 We're doing LSD research in the room next door. 412 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,875 - Come on, Mr. Phillips. Time to go. - [laughing] 413 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,758 The frozzleberries taste like banozzleberries! 414 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,338 Yes, Mr. Phillips, everything tastes like something. 415 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,551 So this is college. 416 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,636 [drum roll] 417 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:41,638 [knocks on door] 418 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,851 - You wanted to see me? - Amy, yeah. Um, have a seat. 419 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,936 So we're nearing the end of the semester here, 420 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,856 and I'm putting together the cast sheet for the student showcase. 421 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,567 - Uh-huh. - This showcase is a big deal. 422 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,738 This might sound crazy coming from famous television star, BoJack Horseman, 423 00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,949 but in some ways, this showcase means even more to me 424 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,161 than the very popular TV shows that, again, I was the star of. 425 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,246 - It means a lot to me, too. - Does it? 426 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,765 'Cause you've been missing a lot of classes. 427 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,459 And forgetting your lines. You seem tired all the time, and... 428 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,711 I can be better. I'll prove it. 429 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,003 Okay. 430 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:18,258 As the water rose, I remember fumbling through the glove compartment, 431 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,552 just praying that I could find a pin hammer 432 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,346 so I could shatter the window. 433 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:26,058 - Uh, excuse me, is this... - No. Nope, no, no, no. Get out of here. 434 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,309 - This has to stop. - What? 435 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,729 This is a place for people who are serious about making a change, 436 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,982 not for desperate acting students pretending to have problems, Amy. 437 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,359 I was just trying to get help! 438 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:36,818 - Oof! - [crying] 439 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,904 Oh! Oops! That was... 440 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:41,990 Oops. 441 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:53,418 - Hey, do you know what this show's about? - I think it's about to start. 442 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,754 So keep your rugby voice on the field, okay? 443 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,341 It turns out my hypothesis was correct. Kids love marshmallows. 444 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,425 You don't say. 445 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,094 You still working on that memoir? 446 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,263 Well, funny story about that... 447 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:09,351 Oh, I love when stories start like that! Ooh! You should put this one in your book. 448 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,729 Where the hell is she? 449 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,691 Horse professor, we're ready when you are. 450 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:18,902 Lights. 451 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,739 - [applause] - Hello. 452 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,659 Thank you. Oh, wow, thank you. That's very nice, thank you. 453 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:28,870 Welcome to "An Evening of Modern American Scenes." 454 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,498 The students are very excited to perform for you tonight. 455 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:34,793 They've come such a long way over the course of the semester. 456 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:38,463 Like, a really... a really long way. They were very bad before. 457 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:39,631 But now... 458 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,884 Well, I mean, you'll see for yourself, uh... 459 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,595 But, um, I'm proud of them. 460 00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:50,225 Anyway, first up is a scene from Sam German-Shepherd's "Real America." 461 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,687 [crowd whooping] 462 00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:55,814 You think real America's all about cowboys? 463 00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:56,732 [line ringing] 464 00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,277 Well, I say real America's about business! And capitalism! 465 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,029 - [voicemail] Hey, it's Hollyhock. - Ugh! 466 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,573 - Leave a message, if you're a hundred. - God damn it. 467 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:08,201 I'm starting to think the real America is me kicking your ass! 468 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,285 [all gasp] 469 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,083 BoJack? Oh, shit, your showcase! 470 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,044 Tawnie's gonna be so pissed! 471 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,755 Forget Tawnie. I'm pissed! And it's happening right now. 472 00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,381 I'm sorry. I forgot. 473 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:25,969 I know your students just have to do a scene, but I have multiple final papers. 474 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,930 If you're implying acting is a bullshit major, you're right. 475 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,850 But people came all the way from California to see my showcase. 476 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,770 From Chicago. You can't even walk across campus? 477 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,980 Okay, let me put some pants on. 478 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:39,941 - You've been avoiding me all semester. - I just have a lot going on. 479 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,152 I go to school here. I'm a college student. 480 00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:45,155 - I thought I'd see you more. - This was mine before you got here. 481 00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:49,785 This was my life, my world, and you just, like, live here now. 482 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,995 And you could have asked me, by the way. 483 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,956 Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I thought my sister... 484 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,918 No, don't say that. Like it means something. 485 00:22:58,001 --> 00:23:00,921 - It does mean something. - We don't know each other, really. 486 00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:04,049 - What? - No, I'm just saying it's fine. 487 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:08,970 I had a life before I met you, and you had a life before you met me. 488 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,347 I don't want that life. 489 00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:14,518 That life, that person? That's not who I am, I... 490 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:18,146 I'm sorry I came here without asking you first. 491 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,314 That was selfish. 492 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,608 Okay. Thank you. 493 00:23:21,691 --> 00:23:24,986 If this is too weird for you, I don't have to come back next semester. 494 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,114 I can get a job somewhere else. 495 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:30,033 Tawnie says you're a really good teacher. 496 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,911 She did? Huh. I thought you were in a fight. 497 00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,038 Yeah, but I still love her. 498 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:36,831 Are we in a fight? 499 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:39,501 Yeah, but... [sighs] 500 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:40,709 Yeah. 501 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,879 I should get back to the show. 502 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:47,134 If you want to come back in the fall, that could be cool. 503 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,301 - Yeah? - Just... 504 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,595 We need to take things slow, you know? 505 00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:53,932 Yeah. I know. 506 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:55,684 Thanks. 507 00:23:55,976 --> 00:24:00,480 [Terry in raspy voice] And in that moment, I knew this was my home. 508 00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,190 [panting] 509 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,942 And as long as I was here, 510 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,528 I'd be safe. 511 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,656 - But then again, what do I know? - [panting] 512 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:14,202 I'm just a 15-year-old boy living in Brighton Beach. 513 00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:21,084 [cheering, applause] 514 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,377 [woman] Yeah! 515 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:24,796 Horse professor. 516 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,506 - Come on. Get up here. - No, no, no. 517 00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:28,675 - Get up here. - No, no, no. Come on. 518 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,346 Thank you. 519 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,765 Thank you so much. 520 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,148 [phone ringing] 521 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,025 [gasps] 522 00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:53,407 [phone beeps] 523 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:54,784 Uh... Hello? 524 00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,995 - You need to stop this. - What? 525 00:24:57,078 --> 00:25:00,415 The reporters who keep trying to get Penny to tell her story. 526 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:01,499 What... What reporters? 527 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,628 Whatever they're doing, I don't want to be included, okay? 528 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,922 I don't want my daughter to be included. 529 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,325 Charlotte, I swear, I don't know what you're talking about. 530 00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,235 - Well, you better figure it out. - [phone beeps] 531 00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,261 [breathing heavily] 532 00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:23,848 ♪ Back in the '90s I was in a very famous TV show ♪ 533 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:27,901 - ♪ I'm BoJack the horseman ♪ - ♪ BoJack ♪ 534 00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:32,531 ♪ BoJack the horseman Don't act like you don't know ♪ 535 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:39,037 ♪ And I'm trying to hold on to my past ♪ 536 00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:44,000 ♪ It's been so long I don't think I'm gonna last ♪ 537 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,837 ♪ I guess I'm just trying To make you understand ♪ 538 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:51,841 ♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪ 539 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:57,847 - ♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪ - ♪ BoJack ♪