1
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,141
[BoJack] What is acting?
2
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,101
Anyone?
3
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,437
- Anyone?
- [grunts]
4
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:26,484
Acting is about leaving everything behind,
and... [clicks tongue, sighs]
5
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:30,113
And becoming something completely new.
6
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,157
What is acting? Anyone?
7
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,326
Acting is about
leaving everything behind, and...
8
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,830
becoming something completely new.
9
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,790
[exhales deeply]
10
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,959
[classical music]
11
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,377
[pants]
12
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:48,298
Becoming something completely new. [sighs]
13
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,466
[both] Huh?
14
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,009
[exhales] Hey-o!
15
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,845
[chuckles nervously] Oh...
16
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,647
What is acting?
17
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,024
Anyone?
18
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,609
Anyone?
19
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:13,239
Acting is about leaving everything behind
and becoming something completely new.
20
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,160
Nailed it.
21
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,207
[grunts]
22
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,335
And that's a Sharpie.
23
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,420
[theme music playing]
24
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,024
[clears throat]
25
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,110
Good morning,
my name is Professor Horseman,
26
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,987
which will remain
on that whiteboard forever,
27
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,489
and this is Intermediate Scene Study.
28
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,658
What is acting? Anyone?
29
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:41,119
- [all] Ooh!
- Oh! Okay. You.
30
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,787
According to Stanislothski,
31
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,415
acting is the desire
to create inside of oneself
32
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,333
another, deeper, more interesting life
33
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,419
than the one
that actually surrounds him...
34
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,336
or her.
35
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,214
- Oh, okay, yes, but also... Yes?
- [girl] Oh!
36
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:57,051
Meisner would say, "Acting is behaving
truthfully under imaginary circumstances."
37
00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:00,054
Acting is behaving truthfully
under imaginary circumstances.
38
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,932
Uh, okay, wow. So, that's acting.
But what is...?
39
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,895
Guys, I'm concerned this class
is getting very theory-qua-theory...
40
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:07,978
I was about to say that.
41
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,232
...when technique should be a means
toward a more engaging art.
42
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,319
- Well, quite astute.
- Sorry, horse professor. What's acting?
43
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,402
Um...
44
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,780
Acting is the, um... [grunts]
45
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,866
Acting is...
46
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,617
Uh...
47
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,997
I don't know what acting is.
I don't know what I'm doing.
48
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,165
I shouldn't be here.
49
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,958
- [boy] Wow.
- [girl] Oh!
50
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,046
No, I don't want to quit.
I'm acting! That's acting.
51
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:33,963
Oh!
52
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,757
Class dismissed.
53
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,801
But we still have
an hour and 20 minutes left.
54
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,595
Yes. Again, I was acting.
55
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:41,930
You sounded serious.
56
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:45,016
Instead of judging my acting,
how about you act and I judge you?
57
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,601
- For real?
- Yeah. Good point.
58
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,187
We could show you the scenes
we were working on last semester.
59
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,939
Uh, sure.
60
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,567
- This is from "Kablammo, Mother."
- Whenever you're ready.
61
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,405
Mama, where's Daddy's old World War II
grenade with the pin still in it?
62
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,408
[in British accent] Why would you want
an old thing like that?
63
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:07,413
Tonight, I intend to explode myself.
Where are the extra towels?
64
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,957
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop.
- What?
65
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,834
- Does this play take place in England?
- [normal voice] No.
66
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,920
So why are you talking
with an English accent?
67
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,129
I'm acting.
68
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,758
Just as an exercise,
maybe use your normal voice.
69
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,844
And Tawnie, when you're telling
your mother you're gonna kill yourself,
70
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,389
the next line is,
"Where are the extra towels," right?
71
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,057
And the character's being very casual,
72
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,185
so maybe she should also be casual
when she says she's gonna kill herself.
73
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,854
Like it's a big deal,
but it's not a big deal for her.
74
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,149
- Like that's the irony of the scene.
- Whoa! That's really smart.
75
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,944
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
76
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,113
Okay, let's see it again.
77
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,158
So, darling, what fun and games
shall we play?
78
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,952
Shall we play Scattergories?
79
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,371
[raspy voice] I detest Scattergories!
80
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,499
Whatever the prompt,
you always answer in vague allusions
81
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,459
to the baby we never had!
82
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,420
Stop. You're both talking to the audience.
83
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,631
I want you to talk to each other,
you're having a conversation.
84
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,011
- Hey! Who's you?
- Who's me? Screw you is who's me!
85
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,514
I got the leads.
The Gooba Gooberry Falls leads.
86
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,017
Mm! Them's them good leads.
87
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,729
- Hubba hubba, I'm horny for leads!
- Okay, here's my question for you.
88
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,064
Does your character
know he's horny for leads,
89
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,025
or is he discovering it?
90
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,610
Who's next? Great. What's the scene?
91
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,738
The scene is I'm late for my next class.
92
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,698
We were supposed to get out
20 minutes ago.
93
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,616
Oh, shit. Sorry. See you Wednesday.
94
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,744
Great work today. Way to go, team.
95
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,747
We did it. That was great, huh?
How good was I?
96
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,583
- [sighs]
- [door closes]
97
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,381
Whitfield, we've been here six weeks.
How do you think this is going?
98
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,843
- I think I'm crushing it.
- Wow, okay. Well, I admire the confidence.
99
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,887
I know you're an acting major.
100
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,808
And I guess I just... I wanted to make sure
that you're taking other classes.
101
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:54,228
Like, Economics,
or maybe a plumbing course.
102
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,147
Or rental car cashier class? I don't know.
103
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,775
What would you want to do
if the acting thing doesn't work out?
104
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,651
Hold up, do you think
I'm not a good actor?
105
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,611
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
106
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,114
You said "Not a good actor."
But now that you've said it...
107
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,950
Some would say there are no bad actors,
only bad teachers.
108
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,120
What about Jason Segel?
He was a bad actor in Bad Teacher.
109
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,331
I am a wonderful actor.
110
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,084
You'll see.
111
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,668
- [door closes]
- Okay.
112
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,215
She knew I was drunk,
113
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,634
but she still let me drive off
with Jonathan.
114
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,095
Whoa, oh! I'm a drunk!
115
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,679
Jesus, I had no idea, I...
116
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,932
Booze has taken everything from me.
117
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:34,185
- My job as an airline pilot, my wife.
- Huh? What the...?
118
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,311
Those two things.
119
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,146
[sighs] Okay. I see what's happening.
120
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,066
Sorry, everybody.
This is one of my acting students.
121
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,110
- He's trying to, um...
- Who's Whitfield?
122
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,196
- Nobody said "Whitfield."
- My name is Whip Whitaker.
123
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,491
- Did you follow me here?
- I drank the vodka bottles on the plane.
124
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,161
Drove the plane upside-downsy.
Yeah, I'm drunk now.
125
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,287
- Wow.
- No, don't...
126
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,539
We've all been there, man.
127
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,333
He hasn't been there.
That's the plot of the movie Flight.
128
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,043
Glug, glug, glug.
129
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,337
- That wet the ol' whistle.
- So sorry, everyone.
130
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,675
Now I'm completely over the 0.8 percent
blood alcohol level.
131
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,428
- I'm in trouble. I am wasted.
- This is very disrespectful.
132
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,972
- Hammered...
- We work hard to create a safe space here.
133
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,766
- ...tanked, blitzed...
- So sorry about that. I recognize that.
134
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,561
- ...Irish, canned, smashed...
- I value this room, just know that.
135
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,772
- ...annihilated, laced, faded.
- Really sorry about all of this.
136
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,276
- So sorry.
- In conclusion, I am a drunk.
137
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,987
The big D.
138
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:30,575
- Fine. Shut up. You're a drunk.
- Aha! Wrong, I was acting!
139
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,995
It appears the student
has become the student-er.
140
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,788
[sighing]
141
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,166
Wow, an actor.
142
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,006
- Uh... [grunts]
- [crowd cheering]
143
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,716
[panting]
144
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,635
[both grunt]
145
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,598
Foul! That fowl fouled, ref!
Where's the whistle?
146
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:56,976
- Ugh!
- There are women tossing women everywhere!
147
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,604
What is this, the Running of the Brides
at Filene's Basement?
148
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,063
Who's with me?
149
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,399
[slurps]
150
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,317
Okay.
151
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,236
- Um, they're allowed to do that in rugby.
- What? Really?
152
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,239
Also, nobody knows
what Filene's Basement is.
153
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,634
That's a shame. You definitely paid
too much for that coat.
154
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,744
- [whistle trills]
- Oh, is it over? Did we win?
155
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,874
[exhales] Hey, you're really good.
I think.
156
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:23,753
Don't feel like you have to come
to these things if it's not your thing.
157
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,839
No, I liked it. Look at us. Doing college.
158
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:31,677
I'm just saying you have your things
and I have my things. It's okay.
159
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,804
- You wanna get something to eat?
- I-I can't.
160
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,766
When we win,
we all go to Conspiracy to celebrate.
161
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,560
- Sounds fun. Can I join you?
- I don't think you should.
162
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,146
It's a bar,
and there will be alcohol there.
163
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,856
- That's okay.
- And young girls.
164
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,777
- What's that have to do with anything?
- Nothing. Just stating a fact.
165
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,489
- Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll see you.
- Wouldn't wanna be you!
166
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,616
But I would. You're cool.
167
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,576
Thank you.
168
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,452
Hmm.
169
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,710
Yes, good. Keep doing what they're doing.
170
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,213
[sighs] Tawnie,
you're Hollyhock's best friend...
171
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,423
- We're actually in a fight right now.
- Again?
172
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,717
Our fights are like Adele songs.
173
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,345
All kind of the same one,
but with different specifics.
174
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,932
- Well, do you understand this rugby thing?
- Uh, honestly? No.
175
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,435
She came back from winter break
super aggro, but that's Hollyhock, right?
176
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,854
Suddenly, she decides,
"This is what I'm all about now,
177
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,815
and everyone else
just has to get on board."
178
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,441
What are we supposed to do with that?
179
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,945
- Whoa!
- I guess... get on board.
180
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,446
[whistle trills]
181
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,574
Get it out, get it... Yes, nice.
182
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,576
Nice run! Very nice!
183
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,494
Touchdown! That's my sister!
184
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,578
Good try!
185
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,330
Try? She did it. She scored.
186
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,790
It's called a try.
187
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,625
Try to keep up.
188
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,545
- Hey! Hey!
- [sighing]
189
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,382
- Yeah!
- Yes, Cardinals!
190
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,967
- All right!
- All right!
191
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,467
[both grunt]
192
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,557
The two teams applaud each other,
and then the referees.
193
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,559
As is customary. See footnote.
194
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:02,977
We know.
195
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,562
What's up, rugger?
196
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,897
Two tries, two conversions,
and a drop goal?
197
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,774
Jonah Lomu over here.
198
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,860
- Great game, Hock.
- Oh, Hock.
199
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,987
I like it.
Can I get a nickname too, Regina?
200
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,198
How about, "Professor Horseman,
adult faculty member"?
201
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,868
- We have to go.
- Yeah, go.
202
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,370
Go. See you.
See you on the scrumming pitch.
203
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,288
[whistle trills]
204
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,373
W-E-S-leyan!
205
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,334
We will rock and maul and win!
206
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,918
Wait. Where's Hollyhock?
207
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,589
You mean Hollyhock
Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero...
208
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,093
Hey. What the hell? You quit rugby?
209
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,055
God. You sound like three of my dads.
210
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,349
- The other five were relieved.
- You were good.
211
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,436
I need to focus on my studies.
I'm not just here to get my ya-yas out.
212
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,355
Yeah, but rugby's our thing.
213
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,438
[sighs]
214
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,858
Okay, then I guess we'll just...
We'll find a new thing.
215
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,695
How about my thing is reading
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler,
216
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,989
and your thing is being a teacher?
217
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:57,990
Are you okay?
218
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,826
[sighs] I'm just busy with school stuff.
219
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,828
You got your showcase in a couple weeks?
220
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,705
"An Evening of Modern American Scenes"?
221
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,957
Yeah. I'll... I'll go to that.
222
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,294
- Great. I'll see you then.
- Yeah, see you then.
223
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,754
Not if I see you first...!
224
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,344
[phone ringing, beeps]
225
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,428
- Hello?
- Hey, listen.
226
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,722
- It's your very good accountant, Gaz.
- Hey, Gaz.
227
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,933
I just noticed you spent
a lot of money last year.
228
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,977
- Did you go to rehab? Like, a lot?
- You just noticed that?
229
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,523
I've got a ton of clients, okay?
And this was a big cocaine year for me.
230
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,067
But we're fine. Just make another movie,
and you'll be fine.
231
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,461
- You're working on a movie?
- No.
232
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,487
Actually, I'm a college professor now.
233
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,572
[sputters] What, do you hate money?
234
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,241
- Gaz...
- Ah, no, no, no, it's fine.
235
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,594
Basically, we're fine.
As I told my wife before she left me,
236
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,704
I'm not worried,
and you shouldn't be either.
237
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,467
We may need to unload some assets, though.
238
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,249
- You still own that restaurant?
- Elefante?
239
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,377
I'd love to dump that money pit,
but what idiot would buy it?
240
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:56,340
- Sold! On this arrangement.
- Of course you're sold. It was your idea.
241
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,218
Explain it to me one more time?
242
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,053
Okay. You'll spend a lot of time
243
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,806
with international superstar
sex symbol, Joey Pogo,
244
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,683
building a close emotional bond.
245
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,327
After you've established that connection,
246
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:10,396
you'll share one magical evening
of intimate sexual congress,
247
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,939
after which, we'll finally be even.
248
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:15,735
You'll marry me, and the two of you
will never see each other again.
249
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,921
- Well, I guess it's worth a try.
- ♪ Who's that dog? ♪
250
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,214
- ♪ Mr. Peanutbutter ♪
- Excuse me.
251
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,364
- [phone beeps]
- Hello? No?
252
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,158
Really? Wow, hold on a sec.
253
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,993
Pickles, should I buy Elefante?
254
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,288
Ooh! Then you'd be my husband and my boss.
255
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,206
Like Ike and Tina Turn... No.
256
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,084
- Well, I'm sure there are good examples.
- There must be.
257
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,211
But buying a restaurant's
a big commitment.
258
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,797
What if I went in on it with you?
I like food.
259
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,508
Great idea, Joey Pogo. I'm in!
260
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,511
On you being in. On it. With me.
261
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,722
I've got big ideas for this place.
262
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,932
One word... lazy Susans.
263
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,892
Hold on.
264
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:52,646
Before we make any rash decisions,
should we maybe consider the long-term...
265
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,025
[stammers] Pickles, this guy on the phone
is waiting, and I don't want to be rude.
266
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,444
Sorry. Of course.
Finish your conversation.
267
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,154
- Sold!
- [phone beeps]
268
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,239
- Now, you were saying?
- ...ramifications.
269
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,033
Lazy Susans.
270
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,913
[raspy voice] Oh, Heidi,
you'll never bag a man
271
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,623
with all your talk of feminism,
272
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,876
and your grandfather in Switzerland,
and all your little goat friends...
273
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,796
Stop. Terry, this character is 28.
274
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,381
Is that what you think
a 28-year-old sounds like?
275
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,841
[normal voice] I mean, yes?
276
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,135
You do the same old-man voice
for every character.
277
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,447
Gotta have a gimmick if I'm gonna make it
in the show business.
278
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,847
In "the show business,"
279
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,892
when they have old man characters,
they cast real old men.
280
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,352
- I'll show you.
- Please don't.
281
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,646
You'll see.
282
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,065
We still have 20 minutes of class left.
283
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:42,071
I'd driven across that bridge drunk
hundreds of times, but never on black ice.
284
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,090
- [door opens]
- [Terry in raspy voice] Back in my day,
285
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:47,284
- we called that "the hidden slipperies."
- Oh, no.
286
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,120
But we didn't go to meetings
and talk about our problems.
287
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,749
- No, we made moonshine in bathtubs.
- Please leave. Now.
288
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,060
- Who's Terry?
- Nobody said Terry.
289
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,753
Mind if I sit a spell?
These old bones need a rest.
290
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:58,754
Sure, take it easy.
291
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,048
Everyone, this is another one
of my students.
292
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:04,468
I'm very sorry, I have no idea
why they think this is gonna impress me.
293
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,221
I just relieved myself in my adult diaper.
294
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,138
Terry...
295
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:12,434
Here I am, in the twilight of my years,
having drunk it all away.
296
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,603
- My job as an airline pilot...
- Wow.
297
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,772
- My son...
- You don't have a son.
298
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,358
Not anymore I don't,
because I abandoned him.
299
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,068
I abandoned my boy!
300
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,862
- [Whitfield] Papa?
- My boy!
301
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,114
- Oh, my God.
- Papa? Is that you?
302
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,701
I've gone blind, me has,
from working in the distillery!
303
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,244
Oh, my sweet child!
304
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,454
Ugh.
305
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544
Todd, why don't you and Ruthie
go for a stroll
306
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,296
while I talk to these acting students?
307
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,299
She's just a baby, and I don't want
to expose her to too much desperation.
308
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,051
- You got it, boss.
- [Ruthie giggles]
309
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,387
Today, we have a very special guest.
310
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,514
This is my friend, Princess Carolyn,
311
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:55,019
who was nice enough to come here
to talk about the business of acting.
312
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,771
So, please do not embarrass me.
313
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,356
Oh, no.
314
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,067
How many months
until people get discovered, usually?
315
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,070
One? Two? [gasps] Three?
316
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,742
This is more of a comment than a question,
but I've seen every Robert Altman movie.
317
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,786
What's the best diner to be discovered in
drinking a milkshake?
318
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,746
[sighs]
319
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:17,666
What if I want to do nudity?
Do I still have to sign a waiver?
320
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,876
Huh!
321
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,461
[yawns]
322
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,212
Whoo!
323
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,799
Hey, who's the kid
that didn't ask a question?
324
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,052
- The brooding kid in the back.
- Oh, that's Stan.
325
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,219
That kid's got it.
326
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,638
The look, the sauce,
327
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,682
the power to make me feel
like a 13-year-old girl,
328
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,101
and to make a 13-year-old girl
feel like a woman.
329
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,311
I wanna cast him.
330
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,194
- You haven't even seen him act.
- Is he good?
331
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,149
[sighs] He's the best actor I got.
332
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,401
I had my doubts
when he did the scene from Proof,
333
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,205
but when he did the scene from Doubt,
I thought, "There's the proof."
334
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,572
- I have to sign him.
- No.
335
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,116
Stan needs to finish school.
He's a sophomore.
336
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,619
Great! A legal adult but he looks young.
337
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,830
He can play all the roles that other
young, impressionable actors can't
338
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,792
because they keep ODing,
or going to prison, or going to rehab,
339
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,960
or killing themselves.
340
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,921
- No, he's not ready.
- Why don't we let Stan decide?
341
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,174
I want to be your manager.
342
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:11,929
And I can get you Brooding Birthday Boy
on "Birthday Dad" right now.
343
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,847
Stan, LA's not going anywhere.
344
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,558
But you need an education,
something to keep you grounded.
345
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,561
Stan, look at me.
You have an opportunity now.
346
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,439
What do you need, a piece of paper?
You're done with this place.
347
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,608
Stan? Stan. Stan, Stan.
348
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:28,612
One day, you're gonna look back
and realize these days on campus,
349
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,281
they were the last days
you were truly free.
350
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,241
You want "free"?
351
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,327
Check out the Smirnoff Ice gifting suite
at the Emmy Awards after-party!
352
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,831
My whole career, all I wanted
was to get to a place like this,
353
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:39,999
and I didn't even know it.
354
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,084
Out there, there's nothing to protect you.
355
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,754
No, but there's a Patagonia jacket
that says "Birthday Dad" on it
356
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,923
that you get from being on "Birthday Dad."
357
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,802
We're safe here, Stan.
Please, don't make the mistake I did.
358
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,723
Come on, you'll get your own chair
with your name on it!
359
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,518
- [sighs] Damn it.
- Oh, good boy. Yes, he's a good boy.
360
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,937
Okay, first thing,
we're gonna get these teeth fixed.
361
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,028
[air horns blaring]
362
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,282
[vocalizing]
363
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,243
Marshmallow?
364
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,205
Thanks! [munching]
365
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,373
That was for the child.
366
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,417
Oh, should've specified.
367
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,211
If she can abstain from eating
the marshmallow for 15 minutes,
368
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,130
she'll receive an even bigger reward.
369
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:31,341
An even bigger reward than a marshmallow?
370
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,635
Remember these times, Ruthie.
371
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,720
Mm-hmm.
372
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,223
[phone beeps]
373
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,307
[phone buzzes, beeps]
374
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,661
- Go Todd for Maude!
- You're sitting in front of a marshmallow,
375
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:44,122
and if you don't eat it,
you get a bigger reward in 15 minutes.
376
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,866
- What do you do?
- Don't be a sucker, Todd.
377
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:46,982
Eat the marshmallow.
378
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,226
Who knows what the world's gonna be like
in 15 minutes?
379
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,611
That's all I needed to hear.
380
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:51,945
- Thanks, Maude.
- [phone beeps]
381
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,031
[Ruthie giggles]
382
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:58,285
Oh, no! What have I done?
We've got to find another marshmallow!
383
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,597
- [phone buzzes, beeps]
- Hey, Todd. You've got the Maude Squad.
384
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,474
Just kidding, it's just Maude.
I don't have a squad.
385
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,999
Maude? I didn't go to college.
386
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,210
- Where can I get a marshmallow?
- The dining hall?
387
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:09,421
Dining hall?
This is Wesleyan, not Hogwarts.
388
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,424
What's in a marshmallow anyway?
Maybe I can make one.
389
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,468
I think they're mostly chemicals.
390
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,762
To the chemistry lab!
391
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,101
- [grunts] You! Make me a marshmallow!
- [Ruthie giggles]
392
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,394
I'm trying to cure brain cancer.
393
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,480
That's not important right now!
394
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,981
If I don't get a new marshmallow,
395
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,651
some psychiatrist
is gonna get mad at this baby.
396
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:31,944
A psychiatrist?
397
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,072
I am so sick of the soft sciences
wagging the dog
398
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,366
in conversations
of behavioral development.
399
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,867
Let's teach them a lesson!
400
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,801
- I'm sorry, but the experiment's over.
- What? Why?
401
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,804
Because you ate the marshmallow.
Good day, sir.
402
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,222
Doctor?
403
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,559
[gasps]
404
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:04,476
You did it!
405
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:09,481
Hello, my name is Willie Wesleyan,
and you've won the school, my boy!
406
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,526
Wesleyan University is yours.
407
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:13,986
What? Why?
408
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:17,447
Somebody needs to keep
that stuffy old board of trustees in check
409
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,992
once I've shed this mortal skin.
410
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,286
- Oh...
- Sorry about that.
411
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,872
We're doing LSD research
in the room next door.
412
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,875
- Come on, Mr. Phillips. Time to go.
- [laughing]
413
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,758
The frozzleberries
taste like banozzleberries!
414
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,338
Yes, Mr. Phillips,
everything tastes like something.
415
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,551
So this is college.
416
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,636
[drum roll]
417
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:41,638
[knocks on door]
418
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,851
- You wanted to see me?
- Amy, yeah. Um, have a seat.
419
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,936
So we're nearing
the end of the semester here,
420
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,856
and I'm putting together the cast sheet
for the student showcase.
421
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,567
- Uh-huh.
- This showcase is a big deal.
422
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,738
This might sound crazy coming from
famous television star, BoJack Horseman,
423
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,949
but in some ways,
this showcase means even more to me
424
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,161
than the very popular TV shows
that, again, I was the star of.
425
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,246
- It means a lot to me, too.
- Does it?
426
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,765
'Cause you've been missing
a lot of classes.
427
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,459
And forgetting your lines.
You seem tired all the time, and...
428
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,711
I can be better. I'll prove it.
429
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,003
Okay.
430
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:18,258
As the water rose, I remember
fumbling through the glove compartment,
431
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,552
just praying
that I could find a pin hammer
432
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,346
so I could shatter the window.
433
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:26,058
- Uh, excuse me, is this...
- No. Nope, no, no, no. Get out of here.
434
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,309
- This has to stop.
- What?
435
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,729
This is a place for people who are serious
about making a change,
436
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,982
not for desperate acting students
pretending to have problems, Amy.
437
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,359
I was just trying to get help!
438
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:36,818
- Oof!
- [crying]
439
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,904
Oh! Oops! That was...
440
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:41,990
Oops.
441
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:53,418
- Hey, do you know what this show's about?
- I think it's about to start.
442
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,754
So keep your rugby voice
on the field, okay?
443
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,341
It turns out my hypothesis was correct.
Kids love marshmallows.
444
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,425
You don't say.
445
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,094
You still working on that memoir?
446
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,263
Well, funny story about that...
447
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:09,351
Oh, I love when stories start like that!
Ooh! You should put this one in your book.
448
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,729
Where the hell is she?
449
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,691
Horse professor, we're ready when you are.
450
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:18,902
Lights.
451
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,739
- [applause]
- Hello.
452
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,659
Thank you. Oh, wow, thank you.
That's very nice, thank you.
453
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:28,870
Welcome to
"An Evening of Modern American Scenes."
454
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,498
The students are very excited
to perform for you tonight.
455
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:34,793
They've come such a long way
over the course of the semester.
456
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:38,463
Like, a really... a really long way.
They were very bad before.
457
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:39,631
But now...
458
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,884
Well, I mean,
you'll see for yourself, uh...
459
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,595
But, um, I'm proud of them.
460
00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:50,225
Anyway, first up is a scene
from Sam German-Shepherd's "Real America."
461
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,687
[crowd whooping]
462
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:55,814
You think real America's
all about cowboys?
463
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:56,732
[line ringing]
464
00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,277
Well, I say real America's about business!
And capitalism!
465
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,029
- [voicemail] Hey, it's Hollyhock.
- Ugh!
466
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,573
- Leave a message, if you're a hundred.
- God damn it.
467
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:08,201
I'm starting to think the real America
is me kicking your ass!
468
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,285
[all gasp]
469
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,083
BoJack? Oh, shit, your showcase!
470
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,044
Tawnie's gonna be so pissed!
471
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,755
Forget Tawnie. I'm pissed!
And it's happening right now.
472
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,381
I'm sorry. I forgot.
473
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:25,969
I know your students just have to do
a scene, but I have multiple final papers.
474
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,930
If you're implying
acting is a bullshit major, you're right.
475
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,850
But people came all the way
from California to see my showcase.
476
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,770
From Chicago.
You can't even walk across campus?
477
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,980
Okay, let me put some pants on.
478
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:39,941
- You've been avoiding me all semester.
- I just have a lot going on.
479
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,152
I go to school here.
I'm a college student.
480
00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:45,155
- I thought I'd see you more.
- This was mine before you got here.
481
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:49,785
This was my life, my world,
and you just, like, live here now.
482
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,995
And you could have asked me, by the way.
483
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,956
Okay, I'm sorry.
I guess I thought my sister...
484
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,918
No, don't say that.
Like it means something.
485
00:22:58,001 --> 00:23:00,921
- It does mean something.
- We don't know each other, really.
486
00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:04,049
- What?
- No, I'm just saying it's fine.
487
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:08,970
I had a life before I met you,
and you had a life before you met me.
488
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,347
I don't want that life.
489
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:14,518
That life, that person?
That's not who I am, I...
490
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:18,146
I'm sorry I came here
without asking you first.
491
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,314
That was selfish.
492
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,608
Okay. Thank you.
493
00:23:21,691 --> 00:23:24,986
If this is too weird for you,
I don't have to come back next semester.
494
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,114
I can get a job somewhere else.
495
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:30,033
Tawnie says you're a really good teacher.
496
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,911
She did? Huh.
I thought you were in a fight.
497
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,038
Yeah, but I still love her.
498
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:36,831
Are we in a fight?
499
00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:39,501
Yeah, but... [sighs]
500
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:40,709
Yeah.
501
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,879
I should get back to the show.
502
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:47,134
If you want to come back in the fall,
that could be cool.
503
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,301
- Yeah?
- Just...
504
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,595
We need to take things slow, you know?
505
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:53,932
Yeah. I know.
506
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:55,684
Thanks.
507
00:23:55,976 --> 00:24:00,480
[Terry in raspy voice] And in that moment,
I knew this was my home.
508
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,190
[panting]
509
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,942
And as long as I was here,
510
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,528
I'd be safe.
511
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,656
- But then again, what do I know?
- [panting]
512
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:14,202
I'm just a 15-year-old boy
living in Brighton Beach.
513
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:21,084
[cheering, applause]
514
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,377
[woman] Yeah!
515
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:24,796
Horse professor.
516
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,506
- Come on. Get up here.
- No, no, no.
517
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:28,675
- Get up here.
- No, no, no. Come on.
518
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,346
Thank you.
519
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,765
Thank you so much.
520
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,148
[phone ringing]
521
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,025
[gasps]
522
00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:53,407
[phone beeps]
523
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:54,784
Uh... Hello?
524
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,995
- You need to stop this.
- What?
525
00:24:57,078 --> 00:25:00,415
The reporters who keep trying
to get Penny to tell her story.
526
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:01,499
What... What reporters?
527
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,628
Whatever they're doing,
I don't want to be included, okay?
528
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,922
I don't want my daughter to be included.
529
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,325
Charlotte, I swear, I don't know
what you're talking about.
530
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,235
- Well, you better figure it out.
- [phone beeps]
531
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,261
[breathing heavily]
532
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:23,848
♪ Back in the '90s
I was in a very famous TV show ♪
533
00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:27,901
- ♪ I'm BoJack the horseman ♪
- ♪ BoJack ♪
534
00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:32,531
♪ BoJack the horseman
Don't act like you don't know ♪
535
00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:39,037
♪ And I'm trying to hold on to my past ♪
536
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:44,000
♪ It's been so long
I don't think I'm gonna last ♪
537
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,837
♪ I guess I'm just trying
To make you understand ♪
538
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:51,841
♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪
539
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:57,847
- ♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪
- ♪ BoJack ♪