1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,509
[people chanting]
Sarah Lynn! Sarah Lynn!
2
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,636
[Sarah Lynn]
Okay, one more song.
3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,304
I'm gonna slow things down.
4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:17,768
-This is "My Heinie Ain't So Tiny."
-[slow ballad playing]
5
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,852
[music stops abruptly]
6
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,276
Sarah Lynn is very tired.
7
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,446
Can you just tell her BoJack's here?
Horseman. I'm an old friend.
8
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,782
Well, I'll tell her, but...
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,617
[groaning]
10
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,079
[Sarah Lynn]
BoJack? Oh, my God! Bring him in!
11
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,207
-I can't believe you came to my concert.
-It was incredible.
12
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,085
When you sang that one ballad
and shot fireworks out of your boobs,
13
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,671
that was such a moving tribute
to gays in the military.
14
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,130
We are going out.
15
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,466
Before you go, I need you
to sign these posters.
16
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,052
It's for charity.
Doctors Without Posters.
17
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,054
Okay. BoJack, can you
hang out for a minute?
18
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,932
-Yeah. I'm not going anywhere.
-Also, we have those radio records,
19
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,059
and you're doing the print ads
for Sarah Lynn's Stank,
20
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,561
the new fragrance from Kevin Kline.
21
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,938
-You mean Calvin Klein.
-Kevin Kline, BoJack.
22
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,732
He's the only man who truly
understands my fragrance.
23
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,485
I'll come back in 20 for those posters.
24
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,613
Oh, my God. Being famous is the worst.
25
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:15,367
-Ugh! Yeah, you're telling me.
-No, but, like, really famous.
26
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,786
-Uh...
-How can I explain it to someone like you?
27
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:21,957
I feel like all my friends only like me
because I'm Sarah Lynn, you know.
28
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,668
-Nobody cares about Sarah Lipschitz.
-Who's Sarah Lipschitz?
29
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,587
The lawyer who helped me change
my name from Sarah Helmulfarb.
30
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,505
Oof!
31
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,259
It is so great to see a real friend
who knew me before I got huge
32
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,177
and isn't just trying
to get something out of me.
33
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,095
Right.
34
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,180
I swear you are, like,
the only one I have left.
35
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,684
I am this close to falling off
the deep end. [laughs]
36
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,479
I know I'm smiling right now,
but the light inside me is dying.
37
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,397
Uh, what?
38
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,609
But here I am blah-blah-blah-ing
about my own boring, sexy, thrilling life.
39
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,485
What is going on with you?
40
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:54,197
Well, actually, I'm doing this new show,
The BoJack Horseman Show.
41
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,117
-I don't know if you've seen it or--
-Ugh, I'm so busy with the tour.
42
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,870
Yeah, no, of course, no,
but it's been a lot of fun.
43
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,415
The ratings aren't great,
but we have this upcoming episode,
44
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,960
and we're looking
for a really big guest star.
45
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,088
Oh. You want me to be on your show?
46
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:15,552
Well, I just thought it would
be really fun for... the both of us.
47
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,138
You know, like the old days.
48
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,267
I have the script with me
if you want to take a look at it.
49
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,228
Um, okay. Why don't you put it
on that pile over there?
50
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,564
And I'll get to it
when I have some free time.
51
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,066
-Over here?
-Yeah.
52
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,818
I'd love to keep hanging out,
but these doctors need their posters,
53
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,403
and I'm already pretty exhausted.
54
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,529
You should probably go.
55
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,324
-Oh, okay.
-It's all very exhausting.
56
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,617
Thanks again for coming.
57
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,079
Like I said, it's always nice
to see a... you.
58
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,580
Yeah.
59
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,708
[male voice]
Adam Levine has tweeted his sympathies.
60
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:50,212
"Today we lost an icon.
#SheWillBeLoved
61
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,839
#WatchTheVoiceSeason10."
62
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,008
Again, for those just joining us,
63
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:59,596
actress and pop star Sarah Lynn
is dead at 31.
64
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:02,534
Day 75 at sea: there's a darkness
brewing on the horizon.
65
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,912
I feel it. What say you, skippy?
66
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,417
[Todd's voice] I think you got a touch
of the ocean madness, Margo.
67
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,253
And I think you got a real smart mouth.
68
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,255
You want another night in the box?
69
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,673
No, anything but that!
70
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,844
Then quit your yappin'
and fix Mama a Sazerac.
71
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,391
Hey, is that character actress
Margo Martindale?
72
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,852
She's on the FBI's Most Wanted list
73
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,731
and the AV Club's list of 20 actresses
that always make everything better.
74
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,150
-We gotta call this in, right?
-That depends.
75
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,695
Are we professional blimp pilots,
or are we casting directors?
76
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,113
Blimp pilots, sir.
77
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,825
Then we're not being paid to discover
underutilized character actresses.
78
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,952
We're being paid to pilot this blimp.
79
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,622
Hey, Margo, do you see something
out there across the water?
80
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,917
Yeah. What is that?
81
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:56,880
[choking]
82
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,840
[horn blaring]
83
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,967
[British accent]
All clear from here to Los Angeles.
84
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,552
[British accent]
We've hit a few delays,
85
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,180
but you'll get your precious cargo
by tomorrow.
86
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,097
[Italian accent]
Tomorrow?
87
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,558
But the big opening
of my restaurant is tonight!
88
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:12,521
How can I offer the real Italian cuisine
without my real Italian spaghett'?
89
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,898
Spaghett' is how Italian people
say "spaghetti."
90
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,983
We'll get you your pasta.
91
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,444
Better do what he says.
He might have friends in the Mob.
92
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:22,948
"Friends in the Mob"?
That is an ugly stereotype.
93
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,074
[speaking Italian]
94
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:28,203
You heard the man.
Set this boat's controls to "faster."
95
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,287
Aye-aye, Cap'n.
96
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,086
Oh, I see how it is.
Wanna play a game of chicken, huh?
97
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,339
I don't think
this is a good idea, Margo.
98
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,467
Cram it, skip! Those limp dicks
are about to find out
99
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,345
what savvy film and television viewers
have known for years.
100
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:50,642
Character actress Margo Martindale
ain't afraid of nothin'!
101
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,937
The boats are about to collide!
We have to do something!
102
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,981
You know damn well,
when we took to the sky,
103
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:59,317
we made a solemn oath never to meddle
in the affairs of land nor sea.
104
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,111
We are sworn but to observe.
105
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,696
This is the blimper's promise.
106
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:06,116
Oh, no! The boats
are tearing each other apart!
107
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,452
Crates and crates of spaghetti
are pouring out into the ocean!
108
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,539
I'm watching the same boat collision
you are. You don't need to narrate it.
109
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,583
[screaming]
Oh!
110
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:19,713
No! Skippy!
He was too pure for this world!
111
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,133
Oh, no!
112
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,760
The pasta is cooking!
113
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:29,848
If only we had some olive oil
to reduce the stickiness.
114
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:33,852
But olive oil doesn't actually
reduce the stickiness in pasta.
115
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,687
That's only a myth.
116
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:39,733
No! I've wasted so much of my life
117
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,695
stirring olive oil into pasta!
118
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,158
Disaster al dente
off the coast of San Clemente!
119
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,827
Twelve tons of pasta
have leaked into the ocean,
120
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:55,081
and the massive carbo load
is heading straight to Pacific Ocean City.
121
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,000
[screaming]
122
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,252
Joining us via Google Hangout
123
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,630
is spaghetti scientist Carla Hall.
124
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,883
-What can you tell us, Carla?
-Well, Tom, as the spaghetti cooks,
125
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,093
it will expand, smothering the town
126
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,971
and tenderly broiling the sea life
who reside there.
127
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,514
Is there any way to prevent
128
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,684
this delicious-sounding
environmental catastrophe?
129
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186
The only hope for rescue would be
130
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,105
if someone had an enormous quantity
of spaghetti strainers
131
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,523
just sitting around the house,
132
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,902
but that person would also need
access to a fleet of drivers
133
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,904
to transport said spaghetti strainers,
134
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,239
and in order to strain
the spaghetti fast enough,
135
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,076
the drivers would also need to be
incredibly strong swimmers,
136
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,954
like, just as an example,
hot, sexy killer whales.
137
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,623
Is there such a savior
who could possibly fit
138
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,668
that ridiculously specific
set of criteria?
139
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:44,255
I don't know, Tom, but as they used to say
on my favorite TV show, let's find out.
140
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,512
A movie, during the day? Dare I?
141
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,722
One for Secretariat, please!
142
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,724
-[barks]
-Thank you.
143
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,601
And, now, to turn my phone off.
144
00:07:56,685 --> 00:08:00,772
If anyone needs me in the next two hours,
they'll just have to wait.
145
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,817
[Tom on TV] This tragedy truly puts
the "no" into noodle,
146
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,697
the "ruh-roh" in rotelli,
and the "oh, man" in manicotti.
147
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,865
Damn it, Randy.
Just pick your best one.
148
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,909
-What's going on?
-You didn't hear?
149
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,577
They need spaghetti strainers stat,
150
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,789
or it's "pasta la vista"
for Pacific Ocean City.
151
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,791
-Oh, no!
-[crowd screaming]
152
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,792
[dramatic music playing]
153
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:24,546
Come on, come on, come on!
Pick up, Mr. Peanutbutter!
154
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,715
-Hello?
-Oh! Mr. Peanutbutter, we need--
155
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,508
You've reached the voicemail
of Mr. Peanutbutter.
156
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,843
No!
157
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:34,097
[BoJack] I'm not just running for me.
I'm running for America.
158
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,558
Oh-ho-ho!
159
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,561
Cabracadabblers,
to Mr. Peanutbutter's house!
160
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:43,857
Mr. Peanutbutter's House the show,
or Mr. Peanutbutter's house the house?
161
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,234
The house. Obviously, the house.
162
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,529
[dramatic music playing]
163
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,573
Wow, that was a good movie.
164
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,492
Was it Oscar-worthy? Who's to say?
165
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,328
Ninety-eight messages?
Better listen to them all, in order.
166
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,831
[Todd] Mr. Peanutbutter, call me back
as soon as you get this, okay?
167
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,708
We need your strainers.
This is life and death.
168
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,877
-Oh, my God!
-[Todd] Mr. Peanutbutter,
169
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,214
I'm at your house with the entire
Cabracadabra fleet, but we can't get in!
170
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,591
You need to get over here!
171
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,302
It's a spaghetti-strainer-related
emergency.
172
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,555
All right, buddy, just as soon as I listen
to these other 96 messages.
173
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,891
[man] Good afternoon, I'm calling
from Center Theater Group.
174
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,726
You saw a play once eight years ago.
175
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,187
I wonder if I could interest you
in a full season subscription--
176
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,980
Oh, I don't have time for this!
[grunts]
177
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,106
[rock music playing]
178
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,025
If we don't get some kind of miracle--
179
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,110
Wait! In the distance! Is that--?
180
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,029
No, it can't be!
181
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,951
Spaghetti or not, here I come.
182
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,623
[studio audience laughing]
183
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,707
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
184
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,960
Sabrina, I'm coming down
for my birthday surprise!
185
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,378
Oh, no!
186
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,924
Well, I've heard of
pasta point of no return,
187
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,051
but this is ridiculous!
188
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,470
-[studio audience laughing]
-[groans]
189
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,598
Why didn't you just tell me
you made too much spaghetti?
190
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:03,228
I thought if you knew I made a big mess
that you wouldn't love me anymore.
191
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,563
-[audience] Aw!
-Sabrina, that's not going to happen.
192
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,690
We're a family now, no matter what,
193
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,026
and I will always be there for you.
194
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:10,944
Okay.
195
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,362
[grunts]
196
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,948
Now, get in that kitchen
and eat all that spaghetti.
197
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,785
I gotta eat all that?
That's too much, man!
198
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,411
[studio audience applauds]
199
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,623
I never understood why
the Horsin' Around house
200
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,333
-had two sets of stairs.
-What?
201
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,169
One in the living room
and one in the kitchen. Why?
202
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,046
Have you ever been in a house like that?
203
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,715
-What are you doing here?
-You didn't answer your phone.
204
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,800
I was worried about you.
205
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,094
[takes deep breath]
206
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,305
The funeral was huge.
There were so many people there.
207
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,850
I kept thinking, "I did this to her,"
208
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:45,186
and everyone was just standing around
like, "Well, this was bound to happen,"
209
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,772
but... it wasn't bound to happen.
210
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,941
I'm really sorry, BoJack.
211
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,317
I don't know how to be, Diane.
212
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,653
It doesn't get better
and it doesn't get easier.
213
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,781
I can't keep lying to myself,
saying "I'm gonna change." I'm poison.
214
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,616
-BoJack--
-I come from poison.
215
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,786
I have poison inside me,
and I destroy everything I touch.
216
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,163
That's my legacy.
217
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,290
I have nothing to show
for the life that I've lived,
218
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,917
and I have nobody in my life
who's better off for having known me.
219
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,336
-That isn't true.
-Isn't it, though?
220
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,088
[sighs]
221
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,758
When I was a kid,
I used to watch you on TV.
222
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,261
And you know I didn't have
the best family.
223
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,138
Things weren't that great for me.
224
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:23,766
But, for half an hour every week,
I got to watch this show
225
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,603
about four people who had nobody,
226
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,772
who came together and became a family.
227
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,735
And, for half an hour every week,
I had a home,
228
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,862
and it helped me survive.
229
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:41,200
BoJack, there are millions of people
who are better off for having known you.
230
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,536
Why did you never tell me that?
231
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,415
I guess to preserve some fiction
of journalistic objectivity.
232
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,918
-Like that's a thing.
-I know you don't want to hear this,
233
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,879
but you're too good to be writing
Instagram captions for celebrities.
234
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,714
-I'm not just--
-I'm sorry, but you are.
235
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,133
-You know you are.
-Okay. Thank you.
236
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,803
And I wish you didn't get so distant
after you moved out.
237
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,973
-I'm sorry.
-You know me better than anybody,
238
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,392
and you can't not be a part of my life.
239
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,357
Tools! This is Brad.
240
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,776
-I want to do Ethan Around.
-Oh, very funny.
241
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,486
Is this Jeff from Hammers and More?
242
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,947
-No, it's me, BoJack Horseman.
-Wait, really?
243
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:22,492
Yeah. I think now more than ever
people need shows like Horsin' Around.
244
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,620
I... need a show like Horsin' Around.
245
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,665
Okay, but this isn't
like last time, is it?
246
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,333
Where you say you want to do it,
247
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,502
but then, I find out
you don't actually want to do it,
248
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,420
and then, your mean publicist yells at me?
249
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,923
And, at the airport, on the way home,
I get one of those big pretzels,
250
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,591
but then, I drop the pretzel
on the ground,
251
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,551
and it gets eaten by a ant?
252
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,719
What? No.
253
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,429
You won't regret this, BoJack.
254
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,183
Attention, customers!
Please leave and never come back.
255
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,395
Tools! is closed forever.
I'm going Hollywoo!
256
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,521
[gasps]
257
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,566
Please, please! I'm no hero.
258
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,944
I'm just a guy
with some bowls full of holes.
259
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,404
Thanks again.
260
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,198
It's funny. You help out
at one disaster area,
261
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,909
and, suddenly, everybody loves you,
unless you're Sean Penn.
262
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,786
Great PR for Cabracadabra, too.
263
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:10,081
Yeah, you can't buy that kind of press,
and you can buy most kinds of press.
264
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,500
I hope some of that press
makes its way to this reader
265
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,294
because she is not a fan
of Cabracadabra.
266
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:19,424
-She hates it.
-I don't hate Cabracadabra.
267
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,842
I just think it objectifies women
268
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:24,262
and contributes to a cheap and damaging
culture of sexist commodification
269
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,015
that undercuts the exact reason
it was started in the first place.
270
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,725
But, you know, everything does that.
271
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:33,062
Cosmo does that.
Kids' movies, athletic gear... statues.
272
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,191
Yes, but this objectification of women
ended up saving lots of lives,
273
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:41,696
many of whom were also women,
so, therefore, not sexist?
274
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,656
I can't argue with that.
275
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,783
Well, the good news is,
you don't have to anymore,
276
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,452
because I'm selling the company!
277
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,369
[both]
Oh!
278
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,621
You know, it's really too bad
you shut down the agency,
279
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,957
because, if you could've held out
for just a couple more months,
280
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,084
right now,
Vim would be rolling in money.
281
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,128
I'm really happy for you,
282
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,464
but I'm actually enjoying my time off.
283
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,132
Ralph and I went on vacation.
284
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,176
Can you believe this one
had never been to Cairo?
285
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,720
Those Egyptians really know
how to treat a cat.
286
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,182
And what do you do, Ralph,
that you can just hop on a plane to Cairo?
287
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,768
Well, I own and operate
my own greeting card company,
288
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,686
but everywhere I go, I have a free room.
289
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,773
-Oh, because you're a mouse?
-What? No.
290
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,234
-Because I'm a Stilton.
-Oh, my God! Like Stilton hotels?
291
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,487
-[ringtone playing]
-I gotta take this. It's my new agent.
292
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,113
-Hello?
-So, anyway--
293
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,240
[Mr. Peanutbutter]
Another offer? That's incredible!
294
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,326
-Ralph and I--
-They want to pay me how much?
295
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,453
That is a lot of zeroes. Sign me up.
[laughing]
296
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,622
What is he doing?
You never take the first offer.
297
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,832
[clears throat]
Hey, Diane, what have you been up to?
298
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,876
Well, I'm just weighing my options.
299
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,670
-I don't want to just jump into my next--
-You know what you should do?
300
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,215
Ralph's sister Stefani
is starting a new website.
301
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:47,470
It's a feminism/lifestyle/celebrity blog/
newsletter/community hub,
302
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:52,183
and she's looking for a partner/editor/
"bomb-ass super bitch," her words.
303
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,352
You'd be perfect for it.
I'll set a meeting.
304
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,105
Yeah, that could be cool.
Why don't you give her my info?
305
00:14:57,188 --> 00:15:01,317
No, no. I'll just set a meeting.
It's easy. I'm not doing anything else.
306
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,653
-Except enjoying your time off, right?
-Right.
307
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,947
Wow, another amazing offer!
308
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,074
It's like everywhere I look,
money, money, money!
309
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,660
Even ten percent of this
would be quite a windfall.
310
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,577
[groans]
311
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:16,958
-I like your friends.
-Yeah.
312
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,042
And I like this.
313
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,085
[both]
Mwah!
314
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,003
-This is working.
-I like it, too.
315
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,423
That was smart of you
to think of Diane for GirlCrush.
316
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,799
You're always making great connections.
317
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,384
That's probably why you were
such a good manager.
318
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,679
-I wasn't a manager. I was an agent.
-Oh, right. Sorry.
319
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,597
Well, whatever it was,
I'm glad that it's over,
320
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,516
because I don't want
to share you with anybody.
321
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,685
Oh, my God!
Maybe that was the problem!
322
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,896
-Maybe what was the problem?
-All this time, I thought I was an agent,
323
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,983
but what if what I was really
supposed to be was a manager?
324
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,861
-What's the difference?
-It's a completely different line of work.
325
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,779
An agent helps a client find jobs,
326
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,574
but a manager helps manage
a client's career.
327
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,118
-It sounds exactly the same.
-I think I'm having an epiphany.
328
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,370
It's like I've been wearing
the wrong bra size this whole time.
329
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,914
Okay, if this is the thing
that'll make you happy,
330
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,666
then I totally support you,
331
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:02,879
but it kind of sounds like you're just
going back to the same sort of job
332
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,630
that made you miserable
for the last 20 years.
333
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,924
No, Ralph. Don't you get it?
This is a new beginning.
334
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:10,011
-I'm gonna be a manager!
-Oh...
335
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,432
-Wow.
-Takes you back, doesn't it?
336
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,559
Listen, before everyone
gets here tomorrow,
337
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,768
I have a couple notes on the script.
338
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,438
Too many "yowza-yowza bo-bowzas,"
or not enough?
339
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,106
No. On page 18,
340
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,901
Ethan and the Horse try to get Julia
to put on the roller skates,
341
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,068
and she runs out of the room crying,
342
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,904
and then, the Horse says,
"That went well."
343
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,325
-Anything about that feel weird to you?
-No, see, the Horse is being sarcastic.
344
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:35,495
It didn't go well. So, when the Horse
says, "That went well," it's funny.
345
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,747
-Dramatic irony.
-No, I get the irony.
346
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,583
That's not the issue.
This is a guaranteed laugh.
347
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,544
-You're giving me the cut to commercial.
-And that's a problem for you?
348
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:47,673
This is Ethan Around. It's your show,
and we need to tell the audience that.
349
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,843
-You can't give all the best jokes to me.
-I don't know, BoJack.
350
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,346
You really think I'm ready
for a "That went well"?
351
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,556
-You tell me. Let's hear it.
-That went well!
352
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,059
You're pushing too hard.
The line's funny. Trust the line.
353
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,353
-That went well.
-Great. Now let me hear you throw it away.
354
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,856
-Oh, like a-- That went well.
-Yes, that was great!
355
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,691
And that was a great look,
with the eyebrow.
356
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,485
-What if we both did that?
-Yeah, yeah.
357
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,611
I'm looking at you like,
358
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,113
"This parenting thing is gonna
be harder than I thought,"
359
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:14,242
and you're looking at me like,
"Now you see what I had to go through."
360
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,369
-Exactly. Let's try it.
-Well, that went well.
361
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,286
[both]
Hmm...
362
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,039
-Oh, my God. Chills.
-Yeah, you feel that?
363
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,208
-Yeah.
-Now that's how you cut to commercial.
364
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,751
That actually went well.
365
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,586
[sitcom music playing]
366
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,425
This place has really gone downhill
since they got that new chef.
367
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,262
As I was saying, I don't think the site
needs to be just one thing.
368
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:37,848
I think it can be a big umbrella,
but, like, also not an umbrella.
369
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,016
That's GirlCroosh.
370
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,851
Sorry, did you say "croosh"?
371
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,563
Oh, you do not need
to apologize here, Diane.
372
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,983
"Sorry" is a crutch
and "crutch" is an ableist term.
373
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,318
I'm sorry if that shocks you,
but I will not apologize for it.
374
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,821
So, can I ask what
the business model is here?
375
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,283
Diane, I'm rich.
I'm not doing this to make money.
376
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,994
I'm doing this to make connections
with real women
377
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,204
and extend my personal brand
as a real down-to-earth chica
378
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,289
who cares about real women.
379
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,915
Well, you know what's great about that is,
380
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,959
if you're not beholden to ad revenue,
your writers can--
381
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:08,838
Yes! That is exactly the idea,
whatever you were about to say.
382
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,340
I want to give you a real support system,
383
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:15,928
because, honestly, Diane,
what you do is so croosh.
384
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,389
That shit you said about
Hank Hippopopalous last year
385
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,850
was supernova red hot badass.
386
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,936
It wasn't even on fleek.
Fleek was on it.
387
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,772
-Thank you.
-One thing though. Is anything off limits?
388
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:30,693
Like, if you had to write a piece
about your husband, could you do it?
389
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,778
-Why would I have to do that?
-I don't know.
390
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,239
Because his company
is basically Hooters on wheels?
391
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,367
-He's actually selling that company.
-Well, he's still a public figure.
392
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,494
What if Mr. Peanutbutter
does something problematic
393
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,662
and you have a real hot take?
394
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,749
If I have a problem with my husband,
I'm gonna talk to him about it directly.
395
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,585
Okay, so what if you did that
and he didn't listen,
396
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,046
and you knew that,
as much as you love him
397
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:54,717
and as much as he loves you,
he's never gonna get it?
398
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,845
And meanwhile, you also knew
that all your readers looked up to you
399
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,431
and wanted to read your opinion?
400
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,016
Would you write about it then?
401
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,811
-You got the job?
-I got the job!
402
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,521
Oh, my God! Can you believe it?
403
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:10,107
In the same week,
I sell a company for millions of dollars
404
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,401
and you get a job writing for a blog.
405
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,612
When it rains, it pours, huh?
406
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,702
And over here is where you can keep
all of your receipts,
407
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,288
in your leaning tower of receipts.
408
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,249
I think my client can handle it from here.
409
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,379
This meeting is just to give you
and the other former partners your money.
410
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:34,006
-Sign here.
-Okay.
411
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,884
And here's your check.
That's all this needed to be.
412
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,135
Whoa!
413
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,221
This is for eight million dollars.
414
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,224
Well, you are a one-third owner.
What did you expect?
415
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,895
Todd, as a millionaire?
That'll lead to some interesting stories.
416
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:51,357
What an exciting development.
How's that gonna change the dynamic?
417
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,652
-I guess we're gonna find out, right?
-You can leave now.
418
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,697
Hooray! Todd's in the one percent.
419
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,865
Oh, uh...
420
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,784
-Hey.
-Hi.
421
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,620
[studio audience laughing]
422
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,042
Julia, this ice cream is only for girls
who try on their roller skates.
423
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:14,755
-So, what do you say?
-Uh, I'm gonna swipe left on that idea.
424
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,550
-[audience laughing]
-Cut! We got a lighting issue.
425
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,928
-What? I'll be in my trailer.
-[audience laughing]
426
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:23,347
-Hey, Chloe, that was really funny.
-Thanks.
427
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,515
-Are you having fun?
-Mm-hmm.
428
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:29,395
-You got any friends in the audience?
-No friends, but my mommy and my daddy.
429
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,189
Oh. You want to know a secret
about your mommy and daddy?
430
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,942
-What?
-They are really proud of you.
431
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,902
Oh, I know that.
432
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,029
What do you want to be
when you grow up, Chloe?
433
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:42,241
What do you mean?
I want to be like you.
434
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,035
-Like me?
-I want to be famous.
435
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,662
Oh, no.
436
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,790
-BoJack?
-[stammering] Oh, God.
437
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,084
-Is everything okay?
-I can't be here.
438
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,919
I can't do this again. This isn't right.
439
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,254
-What do you mean?
-I need to go.
440
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,006
We need to shoot the rest of this episode.
441
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,633
I'm sorry. I just-- I don't belong here.
442
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:00,760
Where are you going?
443
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,846
I don't know.
444
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,309
["Stars" playing]
445
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,541
So, what are you gonna do
with your eight million dollars?
446
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,712
First, I'm gonna get a really fancy hat,
like, really fancy.
447
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,381
Then, I'm gonna get a T-shirt
that says, "Hey, look at my hat."
448
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,217
-[both laugh]
-What about you?
449
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,803
I've always wanted to go
to a super nice restaurant
450
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:45,679
and order everything on the menu.
451
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,599
Oh, yeah! That's, like,
first day millionaire stuff.
452
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,185
We should go sometime, together.
453
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,313
-Todd, can I ask you something?
-Of course.
454
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,482
What's your deal?
455
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,068
I feel like you like me,
but you don't like me,
456
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,820
but you like me,
and I don't know what that is.
457
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:01,987
Are you gay?
458
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:05,533
-Whoa. Why would you even--?
-You can tell me if you're gay. It's fine.
459
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:08,828
This isn't the 1600s,
or some places in the present.
460
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:12,456
I'm not gay.
I mean, I don't think I am,
461
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,501
but... I don't think I'm straight, either.
462
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,087
I don't know what I am.
463
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,297
I think I might be nothing.
464
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:23,050
-Oh. Well, that's okay.
-Yeah?
465
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,760
Yeah, of course.
466
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,222
[Southern accent]
Thank you so much.
467
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,686
Oh, crap! I accidentally tipped
the waitress eight million dollars!
468
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,854
Well, guess I'm broke again.
469
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:37,731
[both laughing]
470
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,493
-[doorbell rings]
-Who could that be?
471
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,411
Pizza?
472
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,247
Katrina, you're not pizza.
473
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,040
Ugh. This fight again?
474
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,586
Listen, butt-sniffer, I work for a guy
and we're looking for a guy.
475
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:00,671
You're supposed to be this big hero now,
476
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,715
so someone brought your name up
in a meeting,
477
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,466
and, now, I have an opportunity for you.
478
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:08,220
Oh, is it being married to you again?
Because I'd rather get euthanized.
479
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,888
Spoiler alert from Marley & Me.
480
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,182
That wasn't a spoiler until you said
the name of the movie.
481
00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:14,852
If you've got a gig for me,
you can go through my new manager.
482
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,396
Oh, I'm not talking about a gig.
483
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:21,942
Then what are you talking about?
Oh, my God, this is so classic Katrina!
484
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:25,112
How would you like to be the governor?
485
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,905
Whoa.
486
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,866
-Of California?
-Yes, of California.
487
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:31,452
[Diane]
Who's at the door? Is it pizza?
488
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,996
-[phone ringing, faintly]
-[sighs]
489
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,831
Welcome back.
Your first meeting's at 10:00,
490
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,249
and you have a lunch at 11:30.
491
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,293
-Thank you, Judah.
-Also, I have someone on line two
492
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,878
trying to get in touch
with BoJack Horseman.
493
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:44,381
I have no idea how she got this number.
It sounds like it's a teenage girl.
494
00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:46,717
Tell her I don't work for BoJack.
495
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,761
Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. We can't help you.
496
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:54,808
["Stars" continues playing]
497
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,397
["Stars" continues playing]
498
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:11,468
♪ The latest story that I know ♪
499
00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:15,723
♪ Is the one
that I'm supposed to go out with ♪
500
00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:18,142
♪ And the latest story that I know ♪
501
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:21,645
♪ Is the one
that I'm supposed to go out with ♪
502
00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:24,189
♪ And the latest story that I know ♪
503
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:27,443
♪ Is the one
that I'm supposed to go out with ♪
504
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,611
♪ And the latest story that I know ♪
505
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:33,449
♪ Is the one
that I'm supposed to go out with ♪
506
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:49,089
Boxer vs. Raptor,
♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na! ♪