1 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,415 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:21,521 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:26,793 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - COLIN JOST 4 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:30,964 KENYA BARRIS MUSICAL GUEST, TOBE NWIGWE AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,767 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1782 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,570 >> Questlove: 1782 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:55,755 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 8 00:00:55,755 --> 00:01:06,666 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, COME ON, NOW 9 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:11,471 THANK YOU! WELCOME! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 10 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,573 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ENJOY YOURSELF ENJOY YOURSELF 11 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:17,711 ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. 12 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,813 YOU'RE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 13 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,949 HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY TODAY IS JANUARY 20th, WHICH 14 00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:30,290 MEANS IT'S PRESIDENT BIDEN'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY IN OFFICE YEAH 15 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,993 HARD TO BELIEVE. [ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ] HARD TO BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY 16 00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:38,598 BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE HVE-OLD [ LAUGHTER ] AND -- 17 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:45,171 THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO WHEN BIDEN AND VICE ES THAT'S ALSO THE LAST TIME BIDEN 18 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,674 AND HARRIS HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER. [ LAUGHTER ] 19 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:51,111 "OH, I REMEMBER YOU. WELL, THIS WAS FUN TO CELEBRATE HIS ANNIVERSARY, 20 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:55,315 THEY POPPED A CONFETTI TUBE FILLED WITH SHREDDED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS. 21 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,852 [ LAUGHTER ] I THOUGHT THAT WAS KIND OF FUN YEAH, BIDEN'S BEEN PRESIDENT 22 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:03,523 FOR TWO YEARS. NOW, LOOKING BACK, HE'S HAD SOME BIG WINS. 23 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:06,359 BUT, THEN AGAIN, HE'S ALSO HAD A FEW MISSTEPS [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,061 AND SURE, THERE WERE TIMES IT FELT LIKE HIS PRESIDENCY WAS AT A TIPPING POINT. 25 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:14,567 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT YOU CAN MAKE ALL THE OLD JOKES YOU WANT 26 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:21,207 JOKES YOU WANT THE MAN IS STILL SHARP AS A TACK 27 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,278 * HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR 28 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:32,152 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU * [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY - 29 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,454 LISTEN TO THIS, GUYS AS THE PRICE OF EGGS CONTINUES TO SOAR, EGG SMUGGLING AT THE 30 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:43,096 BORDER IS UP OVER 100% [ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN TELL WHICH VEHICLES ARE 31 00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:49,102 SMUGGLING EGGS, BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES GOING VERY SLOW OVER THE SPEED BUMPS. 32 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:54,474 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE NEWS, I SAW THAT THE STATE DEPARTMENT IS CHANGING 33 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:59,179 THEIR OFFICIAL FONT FROM TIMES NEW ROMAN TO CALIBRI FEELS LIKE THIS IS THE 34 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:10,623 GOVERNMENT'S ATTEMPT TO BE LIKE, "WE'RE FUN." [ LAUGHTER ] 35 00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,592 "WE'RE NAUGHTY." YEP, OUR GOVERNMENT IS CHANGING FONTS. 36 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:18,631 YEP. WHEN HE HEARD THAT, PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY WAS LIKE, "STILL 37 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:22,669 HERE." [ LAUGHTER ] "THIS IS STILL HAPPENING 38 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:26,706 WE'LL TAKE ANYTHING. WE'LL TAKE TANKS MISSILES 39 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,109 SLINGSHOTS, BOOMERANGS." WELL, YOU GUYS, I READ THAT THIS WEEK IS ACTUALLY THE MOST 40 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:43,556 DEPRESSING WEEK OF THE YEAR. HAVE YOU FELT IT I FELT IT A LITTLE BIT 41 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:47,927 YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED? WE NEED SOME UPBEAT MUSIC. SOMETHING UPLIFTING. 42 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:49,896 SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD SOMETHING TO DESTRESS. 43 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,965 >> Tariq: AH, SOMETHING THAT SOOTHES THE SOUL >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH 44 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:56,970 IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE HOT SAX * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 45 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:10,550 * >> Jimmy: HIGBO. * 46 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:14,688 >> Steve: TARIQ! >> Jimmy: TARIQ! * 47 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:22,796 >> Jimmy: OH * >> Tariq: WHO WANTS IT 48 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:26,733 WHO -- WHO >> Jimmy: IN THE AUDIENCE? >> ME! 49 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:34,474 * >> Jimmy: HEY, HEY, HEY, WAIT, WAIT, COME ON, MAN 50 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:38,078 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE'RE TRYING TO CHEER PEOPLE UP HERE 51 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,481 >> SORRY, JIMMY. IT'S JUST THAT, NOT ONLY IS JANUARY DEPRESSING, BUT HBO MAX 52 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:46,720 JUST CANCELLED MY FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL TIME, THE REBOOT OF "GOSSIP GIRL." 53 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:52,225 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SIR, NO, THEY DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN 54 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:56,329 ALWAYS BINGE WATCH THE REBOOT OF "GOSSIP GIRL? RIGHT HERE, INSIDE YOUR SOUL 55 00:04:56,329 --> 00:05:05,739 [ LAUGHTER ] >> JIMMY, YOU'RE RIGHT AND NOW, MY SOUL IS SOOTHED. 56 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:20,920 * >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH * 57 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,356 FANTASTIC. THAT'S FANTASTIC ALL RIGHT. 58 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:27,594 GOOD I THINK -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 59 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:34,701 HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE [ LAUGHTER ] * 60 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:39,072 NO, NO, PLEASE [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, THIS IS EXCITING NEWS. 61 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:42,375 NEW YORK CITY IS EXPECTING 61 MILLION TOURISTS THIS YEAR. WHICH IS ALMOST BACK TO 62 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:45,945 PRE-PANDEMIC LEVELS. YEAH, A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL BE VISITING THE CITY, MAYBE FOR 63 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,749 THE FIRST TIME SO, I THOUGHT IT'D BE GOOD TO GIVE THEM LITTLE TIP FOR THE 64 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,285 TRIP THAT'S RIGHT IT'S TIME FOR "DOs AND DON'Ts. 65 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,890 * DOs AND DON'T DOs AND DON'Ts YEAH * 66 00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:02,028 >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, DO VISIT CENTRAL PARK DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT AND 67 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:07,033 GLOVES UP NEXT, DO GET A NEW YORK SLICE. 68 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,703 DON'T EAT IT WITH A KNIFE AND FORK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 69 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,539 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE DO RIDE THE SUBWAY INSTEAD OF DRIVING. 70 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,142 DON'T LOOK THE RAT KING IN THE EYES [ LAUGHTER ] 71 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:25,552 NEXT, DO WALK THROUGH TIMES SQUARE DON'T STOP WALKING 72 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:29,489 THE RAT KING IS FOLLOWING YOU. HE HAS YOUR SCENT. [ LAUGHTER ] 73 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:32,792 DO MAKE DINNER RESERVATIONS IN ADVANCE. DON'T SIT IN AN OUTDOOR DINING 74 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,262 SHOW WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU'RE ON THE RAT KING'S TURF NOW. 75 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:39,866 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] DO GET TICKETS TO A BROADWAY SHOW 76 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,601 DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT ISN'T THE RAT KING OUTSIDE WAITING FOR "MOULIN ROUGE: THE 77 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:47,107 MUSICAL" TO END. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] DO TRY TO GET AWAY BY TAKING 78 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,709 THE CRUISE AROUND MANHATTAN ON THE CIRCLE LINE. DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT IT'S THE 79 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:54,414 RAT KING, RIDING A TINY JET SKI. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 80 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,250 DO PANIC, CHECK OUT OF YOUR HOTEL EARLY, AND HEAD TO LaGUARDIA. 81 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:01,021 DON'T REALIZE THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO DO. YOU'VE FALLEN INTO HIS TRAP. 82 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,456 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] DO ARRIVE AT THE AIRPORT THINKING YOU'RE SAFE 83 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:06,760 DON'T SCREAM WHEN YOU REALIZE LaGUARDIA IS HIS NEST, AND HIS CHILDREN ARE HUNGRY. 84 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,129 CHILDREN ARE HUNGRY. [ LAUGHTER ] THIS HAS BEEN "DOs AND DON'Ts. 85 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,665 DOs AND DON'Ts 86 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:17,671 YEAH * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SOME BUSINESS NEWS, 87 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:23,143 T-MOBILE JUST ANNOUNCED THAT HACKERS STOLE INFORMATION ON 37 MILLION OF THEIR CUSTOMERS. 88 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,545 T-MOBILE TRIED TO SPIN IT BY SAYING, "GREAT NEWS, WE'RE NOW OFFERING UNLIMITED DATA FOR 89 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:32,752 HACKERS. [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS. 90 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,754 YESTERDAY, JEFF BEZOS MADE A A RARE VISIT TO THE NEWSROOM OF "THE WASHINGTON POST" WHERE 91 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:38,792 HE -- HE OWNS THAT AND SO, BUT I THINK YOU CAN TELL THAT BEZOS WAS THERE. 92 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,829 LOOK AT THE HEADLINES TODAY. THEY LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT DO WE HAVE A COPY OF TODAY'S 93 00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,231 PAPER. I APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 94 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:50,370 LOOK AT THIS HEADLINE. "MAN WITH BEAUTIFUL, LUSH HAIR ENTERS OFFICE. 95 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,772 [ LAUGHTER ] THE SCIENCE SECTION. HERE, "SCIENTISTS DISCOVER 96 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:55,709 WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME, JEFF." [ LAUGHTER ] 97 00:07:55,709 --> 00:08:01,281 LOOK AT THIS ONE "TIGHT PANTS GOOD. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 98 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:05,452 >> Steve: WOW. HE PUT HIS FINGERPRINTS ON THAT 99 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,354 >> Jimmy: WELL, GET THIS, UBER IS WORKING ON A NEW LINE OF CARS WHERE THE SEATS IN THE 100 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:15,395 BACK FACE EACH OTHER THAT WAS ALWAYS MY BIG COMPLAINT WITH UBERPOOL. 101 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:21,868 WHEN SOMEONE COUGHED, IT WAS NEVER DIRECTLY IN MY FACE. [ LAUGHTER ] 102 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:26,039 SOME MORE CAR NEWS, APPARENTLY GENERAL MOTORS MIGHT RELEASE A A MINI ELECTRIC PICKUP TRUCK 103 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:31,811 MOTOR TREND IS ALREADY CALLING IT INNOVATIVE AND TOTES ADORBS [ LAUGHTER ] 104 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:38,151 WELL GUYS, THIS WEEKEND IS THE DIVISIONAL ROUND OF THE NFL PLAYOFFS 105 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,786 AND TOMORROW AFTERNOON'S GAME IS THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS FACING OFF AGAINST THE 106 00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:46,092 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, AS YOU KNOW, AT THE END OF 107 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,629 EVERY SEASON, THEY GIVE OUT AWARDS, LIKE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER 108 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:54,067 BUT THEY ALSO GIVE OUT AWARDS DURING THE PLAYOFFS. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. 109 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,835 I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SUPERLATIVES." 110 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:56,936 * TONIGHT SHO 111 00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:02,308 SUPERLATIVES * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST PLAYER IS FROM THE JAGUARS 112 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,812 IT'S THEIR QUARTERBACK TREVOR LAWRENCE. HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO 113 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:12,352 ENTER THE FIELD TO "MMMBOP." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP, FROM THE CHIEFS, IS 114 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:17,190 CREED HUMPHREY HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE IF NIALL HORAN AND 115 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:21,561 WRECK IT RALPH HAD A BABY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP, FROM THE CHIEFS, IS 116 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:26,132 MICHAEL BURTON HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE WAXING HIS CAMARO SHIRTLESS IN 117 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:30,737 FRONT OF THE HIGH SCHOOL TWO YEARS AFTER GRADUATING [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 118 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:35,041 ANYONE NEED A RIDE NEXT UP, FROM THE JAGUARS, IS ANDREW WINGARD 119 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:41,881 HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO DRINK A BEER AND EAT THE CAN [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 120 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:48,121 NEXT UP, FROM THE CHIEFS, IS TOMMY TOWNSEND HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO 121 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:53,793 PLAY THE PAN FLUTE AT A PARTY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP, FROM THE CHIEFS, IS 122 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:59,265 NOAH GRAY. HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE THE GUY AT A PIZZERIA GOING, 123 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:04,170 "WHAT ARE YOUSE GUYS DOIN' AFTER THE GAME TONIGHT?" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 124 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:09,476 NEXT UP, FROM THE JAGUARS, IS BRANDON SCHERFF. HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE 125 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,145 FOUND GUILTY WHEN HE'S JUST SITTING IN THE COURTROOM AUDIENCE 126 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:18,485 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP, FROM THE CHIEFS, IS HARRISON BUTKER. 127 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:23,857 HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SAY, "THIS SKI LODGE NEEDS BETTER HYGGE." 128 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:27,794 [ LAUGHER AND APPLAUSE ] AND FINALLY, THIS IS FROM THE CHIEFS 129 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,096 IT'S PATRICK MAHOMES HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO BE THE VALET THAT TAKES YOUR CAR 130 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,466 FOR A JOYRIDE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT. 131 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,436 THOSE ARE YOUR "SUPERLATIVES." WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 132 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:36,836 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 133 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,683 >> Jimmy: HEY, EVERYBODY AS I JUST MENTIONED, THE NFL 134 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:54,888 PLAYOFFS ARE THIS WEEKEND, AND NBC HAS A BIG GAME TOMORROW AFTERNOON. 135 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:58,291 IT'S THE JAGUARS VERSUS THE CHIEFS THAT'S RIGHT 136 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:02,228 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TREVOR LAWRENCE VERSUS PATRICK MAHOMES. 137 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,064 IT'S GOING TO BE BIG MAKE SURE YOU TUNE IN FOR THAT, SATURDAY AT 3:00 P.M., RIGHT 138 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:12,172 HERE ON NBC AND PEACOCK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE 139 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,374 FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE CO-ANCHORS "WEEKEND UPDATE" ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH 140 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,976 RETURNS TOMORROW, WITH HOST AUBREY PLAZA, AND MUSICAL GUEST, SAM SMITH 141 00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:23,316 COLIN JOST IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PLUS, HE CREATED THE SERIES, 142 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,085 "BLACK-ISH," AND NOW HE'S MAKING HIS FEATURE FILM DIRECTING DEBUT WITH THE 143 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,753 COMEDY, "YOU PEOPLE," WHICH IS IN SELECT THEATERS NOW AND ON NETFLIX NEXT FRIDAY. 144 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:36,096 KENYA BARRIS IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM 145 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:42,769 TOBE NWIGWE. >> Steve: WHOA "MOMINTS AT THE CRIB." 146 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,437 OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A A CONGRESSMAN FROM QUEENS, NEW YORK, WHO'S INVOLVED IN 147 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,172 A LOT OF CONTROVERSY RIGHT NOW HERE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, PLEASE WELCOME, 148 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:51,945 HERE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, PLEASE WELCOME, CONGRESSMAN GEORGE SANTOS. 149 00:11:53,113 --> 00:12:08,061 * >> Jimmy: MR. SANTOS, WELCOME 150 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:15,068 TO THE SHOW. >> OH, HI, JAMES THANKS FOR FITTING ME IN 151 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:24,411 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M JUST IN TOWN TO PICK UP MY NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. 152 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,846 >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. >> YEAH, PERFORM A COUPLE NIGHTS AT 153 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:30,316 MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PLAYING MSG 154 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,952 >> YES YES. I'LL BE SINGING ALL MY HIT 155 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:37,557 SONGS, "PIANO MAN," "HEY JUDE," "HAPPY BIRTHDAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 156 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,827 >> Jimmy: I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, CONGRESSMAN. BECAUSE I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. 157 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:44,197 A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE CALLED YOU OUT FOR LYING ABOUT DETAILS IN YOUR LIFE. 158 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:48,134 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT >> WELL, YOU KNOW, I DON'T 159 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:51,438 CONSIDER THE THINGS I'VE SAID TO BE LIES THEY'RE WHAT MY GREAT 160 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:55,675 GRANDFATHER, WINSTON CHURCHILL -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 161 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:59,512 - - HE WOULD CALL THEM EMBELLISHMENTS, EMBELLISHMENTS, YOU KNOW 162 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:06,519 I EMBELLISH. AND ON MY HOT DOG, I PUT RELISH 163 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:12,192 [ LAUGHTER ] I RELISH THE EMBELLISH, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: NOW, YOU - 164 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,827 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU SAID ON YOUR RESUME THAT YOU WORKED FOR GOLDMAN-SACHS, 165 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,363 AND THAT IS JUST NOT TRUE. >> NO, ALL RIGHT FINE, ALL RIGHT. 166 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:26,172 THAT, NO -- THE TRUTH IS, I DID NOT WORK FOR GOLDMAN-SACHS I AM GOLDMAN-SACHS 167 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:29,142 [ LAUGHTER ] YES. I FOUNDED THE COMPANY MANY 168 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,510 YEARS AGO. BUT I CHANGED MY NAME TO GEORGE SANTOS, BECAUSE WHO 169 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:44,758 WANTS THE LAST NAME SACHS? IT STINKS. >> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT YOUR 170 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,760 EDUCATION? WHAT ABOUT YOUR EDUCATION? WHERE DID YOU ACTUALLY GO TO 171 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,129 SCHOOL >> WELL, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, JIMMY 172 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,564 I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL IN "EUPHORIA," YOU SEE. BUT THEY KICKED ME OUT AFTER I 173 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:58,972 BROKE UP WITH SYDNEY SWEENEY >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO LIED ABOUT BEING JEWISH 174 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:02,142 >> NO, NO, NO. NOW, I NEVER SAID I WAS JEWISH I SAID I WAS JEW-ISH 175 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:07,514 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT I SAID NO, THE TRUTH IS, I'M 176 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:15,155 A PART-TIME JEW. [ LAUGHTER ] I AM 177 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,557 YES. IN MY SPARE TIME, I'M THE PRIME MINISTER OF ISRAEL 178 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,527 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT I'M NOT ONLY JEW-ISH, I'M IR-ISH, I'M SCOTT-ISH, AND I'M 179 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:35,275 HALF-FISH. [ LAUGHTER ] DELISH 180 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,344 >> Jimmy: NOW, YOU - [ LAUGHTER ] YOU HAVE SOME BIG 181 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,412 RESPONSIBILITIES NOW, OKAY YOU'VE BEEN ADDED TO THE HOUSE COMMITTEE ON SCIENCE, SPACE, 182 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:46,953 AND TECHNOLOGY DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT THAT? >> YES, YES. 183 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:51,091 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN INVOLVED IN SCIENCE. YOU KNOW, NOT TO BRAG, BUT IT 184 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:56,596 WAS MY IDEA TO HAVE GRAVITY, YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 185 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,365 NO, LISTEN, BEFORE I SHOWED UP, IF YOU DROPPED SOMETHING, IT WOULD JUST FLOAT UP INTO THE 186 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,200 AIR. WATCH THIS YOU'RE WELCOME 187 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,337 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU'RE ALSO BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE HOUSE 188 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:12,045 ETHICS COMMITTEE ARE YOU WORRIED? >> WELL, WHY WOULD I BE? 189 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:16,149 I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE MY NAME IS GEORGE SANTOS I'M SEVEN FEET TALL. 190 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:19,219 [ LAUGHTER ] I INVENTED BASEBALL. AND "THE AVENGERS" IS BASED ON 191 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:25,125 MY FRIEND GROUP. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BEFORE YOU GO, 192 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,427 CONGRESSMAN. THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WATCHING RIGHT NOW 193 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,596 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO THEM? >> YES, THERE IS 194 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:45,245 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * REGRETS 195 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:48,281 I HAVE NONE * >> Jimmy: DID YOU SAY YOU HAVE NONE 196 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:57,590 * I HAVE A SO HE'S HARRY STYLES * * GOT FIRST PLACE 197 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:10,270 NEW YORK MARATHON * * I EVEN RA THREE EXTRA MILES * 198 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:14,207 * I'VE WO EVERY SUPER BOWL * * DON'T BELIEVE M 199 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:20,046 CHECK MY RESUME * * IT'S CALLED THE HOLY BIBLE 200 00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:27,420 I DID IT MY WAY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: GEORGE SANTOS, 201 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:31,791 EVERYBODY! >> IT'S TRUE, I TELL YOU IT'S TRUE. 202 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,195 ALL THE LIES IT'S TRUE! I'M JIMMY FALLON 203 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,698 THIS IS MY SHOW! >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT YOUR SHOW 204 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,368 GEORGE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 205 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,970 "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. GET HIM OUT OF HERE. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, NEWS OF A 206 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:48,742 A "M3GAN" SEQUEL IN 2025 OF COURSE, M3GAN WILL BE A A TEENAGER BY THEN, SO INSTEAD 207 00:16:48,742 --> 00:17:08,762 OF MURDERING PEOPLE, SHE'LL JUST MAKE CRUEL REMARKS THAT DESTROY THEIR SELF-ESTEEM. 208 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:13,133 >> Jimmy: JON LOVITZ, EVERYBODY. JON LOVITZ, ONCE AGAIN 209 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:16,403 THAT WAS FANTASTIC [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUYS, TODAY IS FRIDAY, AND 210 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,806 THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF I CHECK MY INBOX AND RETURN 211 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:23,510 SOME EMAILS, AND, OF COURSE, I SEND OUT "THANK YOU NOTES. I WAS RUNNING BEHIND 212 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:27,781 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CAN I WRITE OUT SOME THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW? 213 00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:30,717 IS THAT OKAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU 214 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,554 NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 215 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,190 >> Steve: IT'S GEORGE SANTOS >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 216 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:41,061 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT. >> Steve: YEAH EVERY WEEK 217 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:44,864 * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, INSTAGRAM QUIET MODE, FOR LETTING ME 218 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:50,170 FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER IN LIFE, TIKTOKS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 219 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:59,679 * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, CANADA, FOR CHANGING 220 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:05,385 YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS ON ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION FROM TWO DRINKS A DAY TO TWO DRINKS A WEEK 221 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:11,157 AND FOR CANADIANS WHO CAN'T HANDLE THAT, MAYBE IT'S TIME TO LOOK INTO AA, EH 222 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:21,668 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE * THANK YOU, NEWS OF A "M3GAN" 223 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,938 SEQUEL IN 2025 OF COURSE, MEGAN WILL BE A A TEENAGER BY THEN, SO INSTEAD 224 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:29,109 OF MURDERING PEOPLE, SHE'LL JUST MAKE CRUEL REMARKS THAT DESTROY THEIR SELF-ESTEEM. 225 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:38,952 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: YOU SMELL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 226 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,888 YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THAT SHIRT? [ LAUGHTER ] 227 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:47,127 >> Jimmy: AGAIN? >> Steve: YEAH * 228 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,062 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, NEWS THAT MEN WHO USE VIAGRA ARE LIKELY TO LIVE LONGER, OR AS GUYS PUT 229 00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:56,102 IT, "FINALLY, A REASON FOR ME TO BEGIN TAKING VIAGRA." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 230 00:18:56,102 --> 00:19:03,309 "HOW DO YOU DO IT? >> Steve: "IT'S BLUE." [ LAUGHTER ] 231 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:12,819 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS AFTER HE TAKES IT? >> Steve: YEAH 232 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,789 >> Jimmy: "WHOA! OH, BOY. >> Steve: "HELLO." 233 00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:18,291 >> Jimmy: "OH BOY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: RING THE BELL. 234 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:22,562 >> Jimmy: OH, BOY. * THANK YOU, DRY JANUARY, FOR 235 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:26,366 BEING FOLLOWED UP WITH FORGET IT FEBRUARY AND MARCH-GARITA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 236 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:31,738 MARCH-GARITA BOING. "OH, BOY." 237 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:36,543 >> Steve: "HEY, IT'S BLUE. >> Jimmy: "EGG SMUGGLER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 238 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,813 * THANK YOU, JANUARY, FOR BEING GOD'S CHANCE TO PUT THE WEATHER 239 00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:52,192 ON SHUFFLE [ LAUGHTER ] * 240 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,060 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, TOM BRADY, FOR MAKING ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT HAVING ANY PLANS THIS 241 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:58,965 WEEKEND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT. 242 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,134 THOSE ARE MY THANK YOU NOTES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COLIN JOST 243 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:04,938 COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 244 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:20,286 OF YOUR SON. >> WE'RE PRIVATE >> Jimmy: SO CUTE. 245 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,755 >> WE'RE PRIVATE >> Jimmy: SO CUTE. CAN I SHOW IT? 246 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:42,542 >> THERE'S A LITTLE OF BOTH OF US >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST 247 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,244 TONIGHT IS ONE OF THE CO-ANCHORS OF "WEEKEND UPDATE" ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH 248 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,146 RETURNS TOMORROW ON NBC AND PEACOCK, WITH HOST AUBREY PLAZA AND MUSICAL GUEST, SAM SMITH 249 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:53,453 AND MUSICAL GUEST, SAM SMITH EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME COLIN JOST 250 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:55,555 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 251 00:20:55,555 --> 00:21:16,076 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 252 00:21:16,076 --> 00:21:18,411 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT >> THANK YOU WOW, THAT'S GREAT. 253 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,580 >> Jimmy: STANDING OVATION >> THAT'S VERY NICE. UNDESERVED, BUT VERY NICE. 254 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,116 THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: DO YOU -- 255 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,518 DO YOU GET A STANDING OVATION WHEN YOU START "UPDATE" ON "SATURDAY NIGHT" 256 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,888 >> IT'S IN MY CONTRACT >> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY YEAH, JUST -- 257 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,557 YEAH >> WHY DIDN'T I PUT IT IN BEFORE 258 00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,192 >> Jimmy: IT IS -- IT'S BEEN A A COUPLE YEARS SINCE I HAD YOU ON THE SHOW. 259 00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:34,694 >> I KNOW. >> Jimmy: AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED. 260 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,197 YOU GOT MARRIED. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. 261 00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:39,499 >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 262 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,468 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD A BABY >> YES WE HAD A BABY. 263 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,336 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD A BABY >> I DID A LITTLE OF IT. YEAH 264 00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,105 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF IT YEAH 265 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:47,707 CONGRATULATIONS. HOW'S MARRIED LIFE HOW'S THE BABY 266 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:50,443 >> IT'S GREAT. HE'S -- HE'S 18 MONTHS OLD HE'S DOING GREAT 267 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:53,747 HE'S WALKING HE'S TALKING HIS -- HIS FAVORITE WORD IS 268 00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:58,318 "CRACKER," SAME -- SAME AS MICHAEL CHE, SAME FAVORITE WORD 269 00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:05,191 [ LAUGHTER ] SAME AS HIS UNCLE. HE GOT IT FROM HIS UNCLE 270 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:08,695 >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT HE'S -- HE'S CUTE. >> HE'S GREAT, DANCING 271 00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,430 HE'S NOT REALLY DA -- >> Jimmy: HE'S, LIKE, RUNNING AROUND 272 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,732 >> HE'S WALKING, BUT -- >> Jimmy: YOU BROUGHT A PHOTO OF YOUR SON. 273 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,467 >> WE'RE PRIVATE BUT FOR YOU, WE JUST -- >> Jimmy: SO CUTE. 274 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,770 >> YEAH, THIS -- >> Jimmy: CAN I SHOW IT? >> YEAH, I MEAN, HE'S SO CUTE. 275 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,506 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE A MIX. YOU SEE, IT'S BOTH OF US 276 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,908 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS. YEAH, YEAH I SEE A LOT OF -- 277 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,343 >> THERE'S A LITTLE OF BOTH OF US >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU -- 278 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,845 >> AND THE DANCING IS -- THE DANCING'S GOOD >> Jimmy: YEAH 279 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,747 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WE HAVE KENYA BARRIS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT. 280 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,582 >> OH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND WE'RE TALKING BACKSTAGE. 281 00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,217 HE CAST YOU IN "COMING 2 AMERICA. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 282 00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:33,520 YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IN "COMING 2 AMERICA. 283 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,255 THE TWO IS IN THE MIDDLE, SO IT'S -- IF YOU JUST SAY IT, IT'S CONFUSING 284 00:22:35,255 --> 00:22:36,890 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S INTERESTING. YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT 285 00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:39,092 "COMING 2 AMERICA. >> YEAH, SO I WAS -- I BELIEVE I WAS, BASICALLY, THE ONLY 286 00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:41,761 WHITE CHARACTER IN THE FILM. [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK IT WAS -- 287 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:44,531 LOUIE ANDERSON CAME AND REPRISED HIS ROLE, AND THEN IT WAS ME 288 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:47,100 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT, BUT I WAS 289 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,669 A VILLAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO 290 00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:53,306 >> I KNOW. AND I -- WEIRDLY, I DIDN'T HAVE TO AUDITION. 291 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:55,909 [ LAUGHTER ] THEY WERE JUST LIKE, "THE PART OF 'WHITE VILLAIN.' I GUESS WE 292 00:22:55,909 --> 00:23:01,481 JUST ASK COLIN." >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 293 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,683 >> "HE'LL COME IN AND DO IT. AND IT'S REALLY CRAZY ON -- LIKE, WHEN YOU'RE DOING THE 294 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,720 ROLE BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME DO HORROR -- MAKE ME SAY HORRIBLE THINGS 295 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,789 YOU'RE DOING IT AND THEN WHEN THE DIRECTOR YELLS, "TAKE," YOU HAVE TO GO LIKE, "I'M SORRY. 296 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:12,192 I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 297 00:23:12,192 --> 00:23:14,060 >> Jimmy: "I APOLOGIZE THAT WAS NOT ME. >> YEAH. 298 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,062 >> Jimmy: "I'M JUST READING THE LINES HERE." >> YEAH. 299 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,531 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT THEN WHEN YOU IMPROVISE IN CHARACTER AND IT WORKS, YOU 300 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,900 FEEL EVEN WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU DO "WEEKEND 301 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,569 UPDATE," ARE THERE -- SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE THE SHOWS OFF FOR TWO WEEKS OR WHATEVER 302 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:27,507 THAT -- AND YOU MISS A STORY, DO YOU GET MAD YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, I WOULD HAVE 303 00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:30,110 HAD A GOOD JOKE ON THAT ONE. >> I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HAVE 304 00:23:30,110 --> 00:23:34,514 BEEN FOLLOWING THIS CRAZY MURDER INVESTIGATION THAT'S HAPPENING IN MASSACHUSETTS 305 00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:37,684 I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] 306 00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:40,286 BUT IT -- >> Jimmy: YOU KNEW - YOU KNEW THAT? 307 00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:41,755 >> YOU TOLD THE AUDIENCE EARLIER AND THEY'RE LIKE, "GET INTO THAT. 308 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:43,456 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHICH ONE? >> BUT IT STARTED ROLLING OUT ON -- I KEPT SEEING THESE 309 00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:46,693 HEADLINES ON CNN AND THE FIRST HEADLINE IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, "NEW YEAR'S DAY, WIFE 310 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:52,632 DISAPPEARS HUSBAND'S WORRIED. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 311 00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:55,101 AND YOU REALIZE "HUSBAND WORRIED" SHOULD JUST AUTO CORRECT TO "HUSBAND MURDERED." 312 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:58,872 BUT THEY DON'T -- [ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN'T SAY THAT YET 313 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:01,174 >> Jimmy: YES, EXACTLY >> SO, THEN THE NEXT ONE WAS LIKE, "HUSBAND SAYS WIFE TOOK 314 00:24:01,174 --> 00:24:06,079 AN UBER TO THE AIRPORT UBER SAYS 'NO.'" [ LAUGHTER ] 315 00:24:06,079 --> 00:24:08,248 SO, LIKE, ALREADY UBER -- YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN UBER IS LIKE, "THIS GUY IS A LITTLE 316 00:24:08,248 --> 00:24:12,318 SKETCHY, I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN THE NEXT -- 317 00:24:12,318 --> 00:24:13,953 >> Jimmy: GETTING A COMMENT FROM UBER. >> AND THEN WE UBER. 318 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,889 AND THEN THE NEXT ONE IS LIKE, "HUSBAND SAYS HE TOOK HIS SON TO GET ICE CREAM, BUT FOOTAGE 319 00:24:15,889 --> 00:24:22,696 SHOWS HE WENT TO HOME DEPOT TO BUY TARPS AND A HACKSAW. [ LAUGHTER ] 320 00:24:22,696 --> 00:24:25,131 AND YOU'RE LIKE, "WHOA, THIS REALLY ESCALATED!" AND THEN THEY'RE LIKE, "ALL 321 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:27,400 RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO BRING HIM IN, YOU KNOW, AND WE'RE CHARGING HIM WITH MISLEADING 322 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,071 INVESTIGATORS. AND HIS ATTORNEY IS LIKE, "WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU EVEN HAVE 323 00:24:31,071 --> 00:24:34,741 AGAINST MY CLIENT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH 324 00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:37,143 >> THEY'RE LIKE, "WELL, WE FOUND A BLOODY KNIFE IN THE BASEMENT." 325 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:39,546 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THE GUY'S LAWYER IS LIKE, "OH, YOU DID 326 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,948 OH, MY GOD." [ LAUGHTER ] "OH, MY. 327 00:24:41,948 --> 00:24:43,416 THAT'S NOT GOOD. THAT'S, LIKE, CLASSIC BAD EVIDENCE." 328 00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:45,652 >> Jimmy: DIDN'T THEY FIND -- >> AND THEN THE GOOGLE SEARCHES 329 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:48,188 >> Jimmy: YES. >> THE GOOGLE SEARCHES, THERE'S LIKE HUNDREDS. 330 00:24:48,188 --> 00:24:49,756 THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT OTHER EVIDENCE?" AND THEY HAD 100 GOOGLE 331 00:24:49,756 --> 00:24:53,526 SEARCHES AND THEY'RE LITERALLY LIKE, "WHEN WIFE DEAD, HOW LONG TO INHERIT MONEY?" 332 00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:55,595 >> Jimmy: YES. [ AUDIENCE OOHS >> AND I SWEAR TO GOD, ONE OF 333 00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:58,765 THEM WAS "TOP TEN WAYS TO DISPOSE OF A BODY IF YOU REALLY NEED TO. 334 00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:02,702 >> Jimmy: WOW. [ AUDIENCE OOHS >> HE GOOGLED THE TOP TEN LIST 335 00:25:02,702 --> 00:25:05,872 >> Jimmy: HE GOOGLED IT. YEAH >> HE WAS LIKE, "MAYBE 336 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:08,274 LETTERMAN DID IT." [ LAUGHTER ] "GIVE ME SOME IDEAS ON HOW TO 337 00:25:08,274 --> 00:25:10,477 DO IT. >> Jimmy: "GIVE ME SOME IDEAS ON HOW TO DO IT. 338 00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:12,445 THIS WEEK, YOU HAVE AUBREY PLAZA HOSTING, WHO IS VERY FUNNY 339 00:25:12,445 --> 00:25:14,848 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE INTERNED AT "SNL" -- 340 00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:17,584 >> YES >> Jimmy: -- FOR A COUPLE YEARS. 341 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:22,822 >> SHE INTERNED. SHE WAS IN THE -- SHE WORKED IN OUR SET -- SET DESIGN, LIKE, 342 00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:28,294 WITH LEO AND KEITH >> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW HER THEN 343 00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:30,263 >> YEAH, WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME AGE WE STARTED, LIKE, WITHIN A YEAR 344 00:25:30,263 --> 00:25:32,332 WHEN I STARTED AS A WRITER AND SHE STARTED AS -- IN SET DESIGN 345 00:25:32,332 --> 00:25:34,501 THEN SHE BECAME A PAGE SHE SAID SHE GOT, LIKE, BASICALLY DEMOTED TO BEING A 346 00:25:34,501 --> 00:25:36,169 A PAGE FROM HAVING RUNNING IN THE SET DESIGN, WORKING IN THE SET DESIGN 347 00:25:36,169 --> 00:25:39,673 AND SO, I'VE KNOWN HER SINCE THEN AND I, KIND OF, IN MY MIND, 348 00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:42,075 THOUGHT SHE HAD ALREADY HOSTED BECAUSE SHE'S SO GREAT AND I'M EXCITED SHE'S DOING IT 349 00:25:42,075 --> 00:25:45,445 FOR THE FIRST TIME >> Jimmy: SHE'S GOING TO CRUSH IT 350 00:25:45,445 --> 00:25:47,747 SHE WAS GREAT IN "WHITE LOTUS. YEAH IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT SHOW. 351 00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:51,151 SAM SMITH, AUBREY PLAZA. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE >> OH, MY GOD. 352 00:25:51,151 --> 00:25:53,687 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 353 00:25:53,687 --> 00:25:56,489 >> Jimmy: COLIN JOST, EVERYBODY. >> TRIP DOWN THE INVESTIGATION 354 00:25:56,489 --> 00:25:58,291 >> Jimmy: "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" RETURNS TOMORROW ON NBC AND PEACOCK WITH HOST AUBREY PLAZA 355 00:25:58,291 --> 00:26:00,326 AND MUSICAL GUEST SAM SMITH. KENYA BARRIS JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK. 356 00:26:00,326 --> 00:26:37,197 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 357 00:26:37,197 --> 00:26:39,566 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CREATED THE VERY POPULAR TELEVISION SERIES, "BLACK-ISH," 358 00:26:39,566 --> 00:26:47,073 AND NOW HE'S MAKING HIS FEATURE FILM DIRECTING DEBUT WITH THE NEW COMEDY, "YOU PEOPLE. 359 00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:51,177 IT'S IN SELECT THEATERS NOW, AND ON NETFLIX GLOBALLY, NEXT FRIDAY 360 00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:52,779 AND ON NETFLIX GLOBALLY, NEXT FRIDAY PLEASE WELCOME, KENYA BARRIS 361 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,782 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 362 00:26:55,782 --> 00:27:11,664 >> Jimmy: THAT'S KENYA COME ON NOW. KENYA BARRIS, WELCOME BACK TO 363 00:27:11,664 --> 00:27:16,036 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. THANKS FOR BEING HERE. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT -- 364 00:27:16,036 --> 00:27:19,506 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT "YOU PEOPLE. >> OH, THANK YOU 365 00:27:19,506 --> 00:27:21,908 >> Jimmy: EDDIE -- CONGRATULATIONS. EDDIE MURPHY, JONAH HILL 366 00:27:21,908 --> 00:27:24,210 IT'S GREAT I WANT TO GET INTO ALL THAT. BUT FIRST YOU WERE TELLING ME 367 00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:26,613 ABOUT A MOVIE YOU'RE DOING NOW BACKSTAGE. YOU'RE WORKING ON A NEW FILM 368 00:27:26,613 --> 00:27:29,783 >> YES >> Jimmy: AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS 369 00:27:29,783 --> 00:27:31,751 >> YEAH, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT >> Jimmy: IT'S KIND OF A A REIMAGINING OF "THE WIZARD OF 370 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:34,921 OZ." >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S A BIG THING 371 00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:37,323 >> THAT'S A BIG DEAL [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT'S A BIG DEAL. 372 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:40,326 HOW DID YOU END UP THERE, AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS? >> I WANTED TO -- ME AND 373 00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:44,798 RASHIDA JONES, WHO'S MY SISTER, WE WANTED TO DO "THE WIZ." AND, YOU KNOW, HER DAD DID THE 374 00:27:44,798 --> 00:27:49,469 MUSIC FOR IT, AND WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GREAT AND WE WENT TO -- THE STUDIO 375 00:27:49,469 --> 00:27:55,342 WHO OWNS THE -- WHO OWNS "THE WIZ," WHICH IS - AND I LOVE -- I LOVE THE 376 00:27:55,342 --> 00:28:01,348 PEOPLE, BUT THEY WERE KIND OF HEDGING. AND THEN WE REALIZED THEY WERE 377 00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:03,049 NEVER GOING TO LET US DO IT, BECAUSE THEY HAD "WICKED" COMING OUT, AND THEY HAD 378 00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:06,720 INVESTED SO MUCH MONEY IN "WICKED. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH 379 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,922 >> AND, SO, WE WENT TO WARNER BROS AND SHE HAD TO GO DO SOME -- 380 00:28:08,922 --> 00:28:15,695 MAKE A TON OF MONEY DOING SOME SHOWS OR WHATEVER. BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO IT 381 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:17,764 AND TOBY EMMERICH, WHO WAS RUNNING WARNER BROS AT THE TIME, THAT WAS HIS FAVORITE 382 00:28:17,764 --> 00:28:22,802 MOVIE. AND I GAVE HIM MY PITCH OF, LIKE, I THINK "THE WIZARD OF 383 00:28:22,802 --> 00:28:28,241 OZ" BACK IN THE DAY WAS LIKE, IT TURNED A MIRROR IT WAS LIKE, THE DUST DOWL, 384 00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:31,311 GREAT DEPRESSION ERA AND IT TURNED A MIRROR ON, LIKE, SOCIETY. 385 00:28:31,311 --> 00:28:33,713 THAT'S WHAT IT WAS ABOUT IT WAS TALKING ABOUT SELF-RELIANCE AND THINGS LIKE 386 00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:35,782 THAT I THINK THAT THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO TURN A MIRROR ON 387 00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:40,387 SOCIETY, BECAUSE WE NEED TO SEE OURSELF. AND I WAS, LIKE, I WANT TO DO 388 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:45,191 IT WITH DIVERSE CHARACTERS, AND I REALLY WANT TO SORT OF, YOU KNOW - 389 00:28:45,191 --> 00:28:47,460 SHE LIVES -- THE CHARACTER LIVES IN INGLEWOOD AND SOMETHING COMES UP AND SHE ENDS 390 00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:51,631 IN UNDERHOOD, WHICH IS RIGHT OUTSIDE -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 391 00:28:51,631 --> 00:28:54,501 OUTSIDE OF OZ. AND IT TAKES PLACE FROM THERE. AND I'M DOING IT WITH THESE 392 00:28:54,501 --> 00:28:58,738 GUYS, 1500 OR NOTHIN', LIKE, AMAZING MUSICIANS. AND -- BUT, WE'RE WRITING IT 393 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:00,440 WITH THE MUSIC AS I'M WRITING, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT'S THE ONLY MOVIE WHERE EACH SONG 394 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:08,381 TELLS YOU WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 395 00:29:08,381 --> 00:29:11,751 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> "WE'RE OFF TO SEE --" AND I SAW -- 396 00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:14,788 >> Jimmy: YEAH, "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD." >> SO LITERALLY, LIKE, HEARING, 397 00:29:14,788 --> 00:29:18,224 LIKE -- I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MELODIC "SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW" WAS, THAT YOU - 398 00:29:18,224 --> 00:29:20,493 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING SO, LIKE, THEY'RE GIVING ME DIFFERENT MOTIFS 399 00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,896 AND LIKE, I'VE NEVER - >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN LIKE THAT BEFORE 400 00:29:22,896 --> 00:29:24,664 >> UM, NO, BUT I ACTUALLY WORKED WITH YOUR GUYS, AND WE DID AN AMAZING JUNETEENTH 401 00:29:24,664 --> 00:29:29,235 MUSICAL. AND I REALIZED, LIKE, IT WAS - IT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO 402 00:29:29,235 --> 00:29:34,174 DO THAT WAS SOMETHING I REALLY WANTED 403 00:29:34,174 --> 00:29:36,109 I WANTED TO, LIKE, MAKE PEOPLE THINK BUT, ALSO MAKE 'EM FEEL GOOD, AND ALSO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL 404 00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:38,878 SEEN WHO HADN'T BEEN SEEN, SO - >> Jimmy: GOOD FOR YOU, BUD. 405 00:29:38,878 --> 00:29:43,249 COME ON. YOU KEEP CRUSHING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 406 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:49,789 KEEP GETTING HOMERS, MAN, COME ON LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW 407 00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,192 COMEDY A NEW COMEDY FILM. BY THE WAY, FIRST OF ALL, A NEW 408 00:29:52,192 --> 00:29:54,594 COMEDY FILM! >> NO COMEDIES >> Jimmy: NO ONE MAKES COMEDIES 409 00:29:54,594 --> 00:29:57,130 ANYMORE. LET'S MAKE A COMEDY FILM [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 410 00:29:57,130 --> 00:30:00,300 LET'S GO SUPPORT A COMEDY. "YOU PEOPLE. YOU'RE GETTING GREAT REVIEWS, 411 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,268 BUDDY. HERE'S ONE FROM "DEADLINE," SAID, "EDDIE MURPHY, 412 00:30:02,268 --> 00:30:07,507 JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, JONAH HILL LEAD KENYA BARRIS' HYSTERICALLY FUNNY AND SMART FEATURE DEBUT. 413 00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:11,544 CONGRATULATIONS, COME ON [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU SO MUCH 414 00:30:11,544 --> 00:30:13,947 >> Jimmy: DUDE, RAVE REVIEWS >> RAVE REVIEWS. >> Jimmy: YOU CO-WROTE THE 415 00:30:13,947 --> 00:30:17,684 SCRIPT WITH JONAH HILL - >> JimmyHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO ONE OF OUR FAVORITES 416 00:30:17,684 --> 00:30:19,652 VERY FUNNY IN THIS MOVIE UH, HOW DID YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER 417 00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:24,457 >> SO, I'VE BEEN A FAN OF JONAH'S FOREVER. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 418 00:30:24,457 --> 00:30:27,627 LIKE, YOU KNOW, I GREW UP WITH THOSE APATOW FILMS AND, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 419 00:30:27,627 --> 00:30:29,796 >> Jimmy: HE'S UNBELIEVABLE. >> "FREAKS AND GEEKS" AND ALL THIS STUFF 420 00:30:29,796 --> 00:30:32,766 AND, UM, WE -- I REALLY STARTED GETTING, YOU KNOW, STARTED TALKING A LOT WHEN HE DID 421 00:30:32,766 --> 00:30:37,337 "MID90s. 'CAUSE I WAS LIKE, "BRO, YOU KILLED IT. 422 00:30:37,337 --> 00:30:39,205 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS GREAT >> HE KILLED IT. AND I WAS -- SO, WE, YOU KNOW, 423 00:30:39,205 --> 00:30:42,108 HE WAS LIKE TELLING ME HE LIKES THE STUFF THAT I DO. HE'S LIKE -- HE LIKES TALKING 424 00:30:42,108 --> 00:30:45,345 ABOUT STUFF. HE'S LIKE, HE HAS AN IDEA. AND WE -- SO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO 425 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:48,281 BE A 30-MINUTE MEETING ENDED UP BEING THREE HOURS THAT LED TO TWO WEEKS OF US PUTTING 426 00:30:48,281 --> 00:30:54,854 TOGETHER A PITCH YOU KNOW, HE WAS DATING THIS COLOMBIAN GIRL, AND HE TALKED 427 00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:58,992 ABOUT, LIKE, IT'S NOT THE PEOPLE WHO USUALLY ARE THE PROBLEM. 428 00:30:58,992 --> 00:31:02,395 IT'S THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM THAT ARE THE PROBLEM AND THEN WE STARTED TALKING 429 00:31:02,395 --> 00:31:03,963 ABOUT, YOU KNOW, JEWISH FAMILIES AND BLACK FAMILIES, IT'S LIKE THE OPPRESSION 430 00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:07,967 OLYMPICS YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING LIKE, WHO HAD IT - 431 00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:11,137 >> Jimmy: "THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS." >> WHO HAD IT WORSE? 432 00:31:11,137 --> 00:31:13,106 AND WE JUST, LITERALLY, LIKE THE POINT FOR ME, LIKE, WE'RE BOTH L.A 433 00:31:13,106 --> 00:31:15,508 KIDS I'M FROM A, YOU KNOW, PREDOMINANTLY BLACK 434 00:31:15,508 --> 00:31:18,345 NEIGHBORHOOD HE'S PREDOMINANTLY WHITE, BUT THE WAY L.A. GEOGRAPHICALLY IS 435 00:31:18,345 --> 00:31:22,182 SET UP, A LOT OF TIMES, BY THE TIME YOU GET TO HIGH SCHOOL, YOU START MIXING THE KIDS. 436 00:31:22,182 --> 00:31:24,684 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING AND I STARTED FINDING, LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE MORE IN 437 00:31:24,684 --> 00:31:32,659 COMMON THAN YOU DO NOT >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND SO, WE WERE, LIKEKEKEKEKE 438 00:31:32,659 --> 00:31:34,694 LIKE, THAT REALLY WAS, LIKE, ONE OF THE THINGS WE WANTED TO DO IS MAKE IT A LOVE LETTER TO 439 00:31:34,694 --> 00:31:39,232 OUR CULTURE. AND LET'S MAKE IT A LOVE LETTER TO LOVE. 440 00:31:39,232 --> 00:31:42,402 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND SO, I THINK THAT'S WHAT WE TRIED TO SET OUT AND DO 441 00:31:42,402 --> 00:31:45,238 AND HOPEFULLY PEOPLE, LIKE, IT RESONATES AND PEOPLE GET THAT. >> Jimmy: IT HAS JOKE, JOKE, 442 00:31:45,238 --> 00:31:48,408 JOKE, JOKE, JOKE I MEAN, IT IS -- DUDE, YOU CAME OUT PUNCHING, MAN. 443 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:51,478 >> YEAH, WE SWUNG. >> Jimmy: EVERY SECOND IS A JOKE, AND IT'S LIKE, SO GOOD 444 00:31:51,478 --> 00:31:57,817 AND LAUREN LONDON? >> SHE'S THE NEXT -- SHE'S BLACK JULIA ROBERTS. 445 00:31:57,817 --> 00:31:59,552 >> Jimmy: SHE'S UNBELIEVABLE IN THIS, AND THAT IS A BIG DISCOVERY. 446 00:31:59,552 --> 00:32:03,923 [ APPLAUSE ] >> YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE IT IS, IN OUR COMMUNITY, THE BLACK 447 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:07,427 COMMUNITY, PEOPLE -- SHE WAS -- SHE WAS OURS YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 448 00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:10,363 AND SHE HAD SOME TRAUMATIC THINGS IN HER LIFE HAPPEN. AND I HAD TO BEG HER TO DO 449 00:32:10,363 --> 00:32:17,470 THIS >> Jimmy: SHE KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE PARK 450 00:32:17,470 --> 00:32:19,773 >> SHE KNOCKED -- AND SHE'S JUST -- I HAVE THIS THING, I THINK STARS ARE STARS BECAUSE 451 00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:21,541 THERE'S LIKE, JULIA ROBERTS, SANDRA BULLOCK, GEORGE CLOONEY, DE NIRO SAYS THE SAME LINES, 452 00:32:21,541 --> 00:32:24,678 YOU BASICALLY -- THEY'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON, AND YOU BUY THEM 453 00:32:24,678 --> 00:32:31,718 THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM A STAR, SOMETHING ABOUT THEM AND I THINK SOMETHING ABOUT 454 00:32:31,718 --> 00:32:33,987 LAUREN, YOU JUST WANT HER TO WIN. >> Jimmy: YEAH 455 00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:36,289 >> YOU WANT TO ROOT FOR HER. >> Jimmy: I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, YEAH. 456 00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:39,659 IT'S SO FUNNY. HOW DO WE SET UP THE MOVIE >> IT'S A LOVE STORY 457 00:32:39,659 --> 00:32:41,695 GIRL FROM INGLEWOOD, SLASH BALDWIN HILLS, WHOSE FAMILY IS MUSLIM, HAS A -- GET'S -- HAS 458 00:32:41,695 --> 00:32:48,401 A GREAT MEET-CUTE WITH SOMEONE FROM A COMPLETE -- FROM BRENTWOOD, A COMPLETELY 459 00:32:48,401 --> 00:32:51,371 DIFFERENT THING. THEY COME TOGETHER THEY REALLY FALL FOR EACH 460 00:32:51,371 --> 00:32:53,239 OTHER. THEY FALL FOR, LIKE, WHAT LOVE IS REALLY ABOUT, LIKE, JUST 461 00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:55,175 CONNECTION AND THEY REALIZE THAT THE HURDLE IS NOW GOING TO BE THEIR 462 00:32:55,175 --> 00:33:03,817 PARENTS. AND THAT'S WHERE THE SHOW KIND OF TAKES OFF 463 00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:07,220 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP HERE'S JONAH HILL AND 464 00:33:07,220 --> 00:33:09,589 JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS IN "YOU PEOPLE." TAKE A LOOK. 465 00:33:12,325 --> 00:33:15,095 I'M HIP. [ HEAVY SIGH ] PEOPLE THINK I'M A VERY 466 00:33:15,095 --> 00:33:17,497 YOUTHFUL PERSON. I GET IT YOU KNOW, YOU'RE EXPRESSING 467 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:20,333 YOURSELF WITH THESE ILLUSTRATIONS, GRAFFITI ALL OVER YOUR BODY 468 00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:25,071 OKAY, FINE BUT IT IS YOM KIPPUR, GOD DAMN IT 469 00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:29,175 >> FIRST OF ALL, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING "I GET IT" AND USING AIR QUOTES 470 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:32,679 AND SECOND OF ALL, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, "I'M COOL, I GET IT. THEY NEVER ARE COOL, AND THEY 471 00:33:32,679 --> 00:33:37,617 NEVER GET IT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY THAT >> THAT'S NOT TRUE 472 00:33:37,617 --> 00:33:39,452 >> YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BE BURIED IN A JEWISH CEMETERY. >> BUBBIE, RESPECTFULLY, YOU 473 00:33:39,452 --> 00:33:41,855 CAN TAKE MY ASHES AND YOU CAN FLUSH THEM DOWN THE URINAL AT DODGER STADIUM, RESPECTFULLY 474 00:33:41,855 --> 00:33:45,091 >> OH, SO NOW YOU'RE DISRESPECTING THE DODGERS? >> I WANNA BE BURIED NEXT TO 475 00:33:45,091 --> 00:33:51,264 RIHANNA. >> RIHANNA WHAT DO YOU -- 476 00:33:51,264 --> 00:33:54,000 OKAY, I'M GONNA SCRAPE THOSE TATTOOS OFF MYSELF, AND I'M GONNA BURY YOU IN A DOUBLE WIDE 477 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,805 COFFIN WITH ME OKAY HOW ABOUT THAT 478 00:33:58,805 --> 00:34:02,308 >> SOUNDS GOOD >> SOUNDS GOOD >> Jimmy: YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD. 479 00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:05,712 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MEAN, HAVE YOU - I ALSO SHOULD MENTIONED -- 480 00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:11,151 MIKE EPPS. O>>GOGOY D.D.D.D.D. >> Jimmy: THAT DUDE WAS ON FIRE, MAN. 481 00:34:11,151 --> 00:34:15,088 >> HIM AND DEON COLE - >> Jimmy: YEAH >> -- ARE JUST LIKE -- 482 00:34:15,088 --> 00:34:17,057 IT WAS CRAZY, BECAUSE EDDIE IS EVERYBODY'S, LIKE, YOU KNOW, ALL THE COMEDIANS, LIKE, THEY 483 00:34:17,057 --> 00:34:20,226 LOOK UP TO EDDIE >> Jimmy: EDDIE MURPHY >> WHEN MIKE CAME, HE WAS 484 00:34:20,226 --> 00:34:25,265 ESPECIALLY -- HE'S LIKE, "I'M 'BOUT TO SHOW OFF. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 485 00:34:25,265 --> 00:34:28,068 AND LITERALLY SEEING THEM TOGETHER, I FEEL LIKE THERE'S SO MUCH ON THE CUTTING ROOM 486 00:34:28,068 --> 00:34:31,504 FLOOR THAT I ONE DAY WANT TO PUT OUT. IT WAS -- YOU COULDN'T STOP 487 00:34:31,504 --> 00:34:33,907 LAUGHING LIKE, WE -- WE HAD TO STOP -- I HAD TO, LIKE, TELL PEOPLE 488 00:34:33,907 --> 00:34:36,443 "YOU'VE GOT TO LEAVE IF YOU CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. >> Jimmy: AND IF YOU CAN GET 489 00:34:36,443 --> 00:34:38,712 EDDIE MURPHY TO LAUGH, IT FEELS GOOD >> IT FEELS LIKE SCORING ON 490 00:34:38,712 --> 00:34:42,082 JORDAN [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT DOES. 491 00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:44,951 KENYA BARRIS, EVERYBODY. "YOU PEOPLE" IS IN SELECT THEATERS NOW, PREMIERES ON 492 00:34:44,951 --> 00:34:47,120 NETFLIX NEXT FRIDAY. GO SEE A COMEDY IN A MOVIE THEATER. 493 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,755 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. STICK AROUND 494 00:34:48,755 --> 00:35:17,584 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS 495 00:35:17,584 --> 00:35:19,285 NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY FOR BEST NEW ARTIST PERFORMING "FYE FYE" FROM HIS 496 00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,821 ALBUM, "MOMINTS AT THE CRIB," WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM FAT NWIGWE, GIVE IT UP FOR 497 00:35:21,821 --> 00:35:24,858 WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM FAT NWIGWE, GIVE IT UP FOR TOBE NWIGWE. 498 00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:35,268 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 499 00:35:35,268 --> 00:35:40,740 * O OH GOD I'M EXTRA UNIQUE 500 00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:45,211 MY WHOLE AURA * * SCREAM TALENT I'VE BEEN LISTENIN' TO FEL 501 00:35:45,211 --> 00:35:48,915 GRISELDA AND MARVIN WINANS JUST TO MAKE SURE * * I'M BALANCE 502 00:35:48,915 --> 00:35:52,852 I'M FROM THE WES YEAH HALF OF M PARTNERS IS SAVAGE * 503 00:35:52,852 --> 00:35:56,790 * THE OTHER HALF MADE I OUT THE MUD BUT THE TAST OF SLUDGE DIDN'T ALTER 504 00:35:56,790 --> 00:35:59,292 THEY PALATE UH * * I'M A DAW I'M A BEAS 505 00:35:59,292 --> 00:36:02,162 AND YO' FATHER FIGUR THAT LIL' P365 WAS JUST * * FAT STARTER PISTO 506 00:36:02,162 --> 00:36:06,199 AND SHE GOT A SCORPION TOO AND'LL STING YOU JUST LIKE A SCORPION DO * 507 00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:08,702 * IF A DEMON GET GREGARIOUS MY LIL' HARRIET DON' DO WHAT ACCORDIONS D 508 00:36:08,702 --> 00:36:11,037 OOH THAT MEANS FOLD * * I WAS TOLD BY THE G'S OF OLD 509 00:36:11,037 --> 00:36:15,375 KEEP YO' LADY CLOS MAKE SURE SHE CAN * * WORK A POLE 510 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:20,513 BUT THEY WASN' REFERRING TO STRIPPERS I'M STILL BALD FACE * 511 00:36:20,513 --> 00:36:22,916 * WITH THE CLIPPERS I DONE BEEN BLESSE WITH A WOMAN 512 00:36:22,916 --> 00:36:25,318 THAT PRAY HEAVY * * BUT TURN A FREA ON THE LIQUOR UH 513 00:36:25,318 --> 00:36:27,721 SHE KEEP THE DEVIL OFF M LIKE THE CHERUBIM * * SHE MAKE IT CLEAR TO HOES 514 00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:30,256 THAT WE AIN'T SHARING HI I PUSH THE YUKONEEZY LIKE A CHARIOT * 515 00:36:30,256 --> 00:36:32,759 * DK A LEGEND HATE WE HAD TO BURY HI UH YEAH BUT THAT'S HOW 516 00:36:32,759 --> 00:36:35,061 IT BE IN THE JUNGLE * * I GREW UP AROUN WILDLINGS AND MONGRELS 517 00:36:35,061 --> 00:36:40,633 READY TO SLUMP YOU MURK YOU OR JUMP YOU UH * * I ROCK THE SLIDES 518 00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:44,237 TO BE HUMBLE I TOLD MY BABY GIR SHE GON' HAVE MORE * 519 00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:46,973 * IN HER HEAD THAN JUST PRODUCT AND BUNDLE THEY SAY I'M RAPPI 520 00:36:46,973 --> 00:36:49,376 WITH HUNGER * * I TELL 'E HELL NAH I'M EATIN 521 00:36:49,376 --> 00:36:51,778 IF YOU BOOK ME FOR A SHO AND I CAN'T BRING MY * * WIFE AND MY BABIE 522 00:36:51,778 --> 00:36:54,948 I'M LEAVIN BIG DADDY ENERGY SPEAKIN I KEEP THE ENEMY TWEAKIN * 523 00:36:54,948 --> 00:36:58,451 * I COULD GO HUH AL ON THE TRACK AND THEY'LL SAY I' 524 00:36:58,451 --> 00:37:01,721 THE HARDEST ONE BREATHIN * * I AM A BEACON FOR HEATHEN ME AND MY HOOD 525 00:37:01,721 --> 00:37:05,325 GOT COHESION IT TAUGHT ME KEEP * * A LIL 38 SPECIA 526 00:37:05,325 --> 00:37:10,463 THEY BLESS YOU WHEN AIN' NO ONE SNEEZIN AHH THIS HO FIRE-FIRE * 527 00:37:10,463 --> 00:37:15,935 * IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYNC BYE-BYE-BY EVERYBODY SAY -- 528 00:37:15,935 --> 00:37:19,773 WEST THAT'S MY SIDE * * THROW IT UP AND I'MA PUT IT DOWN 529 00:37:19,773 --> 00:37:24,678 UNTIL I DI ONE MORE TIME SAY -- * * AHH THIS HO FIRE-FIRE 530 00:37:24,678 --> 00:37:28,615 IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYN BYE-BYE-BY EVERYBODY SAY -- * 531 00:37:28,615 --> 00:37:34,187 * WEST THAT'S MY SIDE THROW IT UP AN I'MA PUT IT DOWN 532 00:37:34,187 --> 00:37:38,558 UNTIL I DIE * * YEAH YEAH ON GOD I'M EXTRA PETIT 533 00:37:38,558 --> 00:37:42,162 BUT THE HOOD CALL ME FAT FIRE ON ME LIKE * * SHADRACH AND MESHAC 534 00:37:42,162 --> 00:37:46,666 I KEEP PEACE FOR THE SCRAP THROW UP THE WEST YEAH BUT LET'S JUST * 535 00:37:46,666 --> 00:37:49,936 * KEEP IT A STACK I WAS RAISED IN GRAND RAPIDS MY POPS WAS INACTIVE 536 00:37:49,936 --> 00:37:52,772 MY MAMA WAS * * FORCED TO ADAPT SHE HELD IT DOWN 537 00:37:52,772 --> 00:37:55,842 THAT'S NOT NEW I'M BLACK IN AMERICA * * YEAH YEAH 538 00:37:55,842 --> 00:37:58,144 RAISED IN THE SLUM CAME UP FROM CRUMB NOW WE COOL WITH ERYKAH * 539 00:37:58,144 --> 00:38:00,847 * YEAH YEAH OOH YEAH I'M TALKIN BADU I DON'T KNOW WHY 540 00:38:00,847 --> 00:38:03,583 YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME * * ME AND TOB GON GIVE AND GO JUS 541 00:38:03,583 --> 00:38:06,319 LIKE A DRIVE-THR SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS * * THE ONLY THIN 542 00:38:06,319 --> 00:38:09,155 I APPLIED TO YEAH YEA AND I GOT ADMITTED * 543 00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:11,891 * I AIN'T KIDDI AIN'T IT GLORIOU YEAH YEA 544 00:38:11,891 --> 00:38:14,294 I FEEL LIKE DIDDY * * TOBE BIGGIE WE NOTORIOUS YEA 545 00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:16,930 YEAH YEA BUT IT'S SO MUCH * * MORE TO U 546 00:38:16,930 --> 00:38:19,132 MIGHT GET A GRAMMY THAT'S THE FLOOR TO US DROPPED THREE KIDS * 547 00:38:19,132 --> 00:38:21,301 * LIFESTYLE LABORIOUS DON'T NEED ORACLES I AIN'T MORPHEUS 548 00:38:21,301 --> 00:38:24,270 I AM STILL THE YOUNG QUEEN * * MOTHER BABY WHAT IT D IF YOU BREED AND 549 00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:28,641 DON'T CARE FOR YO SEED WHAT IS YOU * * SAY IT WITH ME A HO 550 00:38:28,641 --> 00:38:33,113 THIS FOR Y'ALL WHO DON'T KNOW BIG FAT BUT I AIN'T SWOLE * 551 00:38:33,113 --> 00:38:37,817 * LIL BOYS GON ADDRESS ME LIKE BIG BRO ARIANA AIN'T THE ONLY ON 552 00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:41,321 THAT DO IT GRANDE * * KNEW I'D BE HIS FIANC WHEN HE WAS BROK 553 00:38:41,321 --> 00:38:46,059 ON CAUSEWAY YEAH AND-AND-AND HE AIN'T EVEN * * HIT HIS PEAK LIKE DANTE 554 00:38:46,059 --> 00:38:49,496 OKAY AND I AIN'T KI WHAT THAT MEAN * 555 00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:51,898 * IT'S OKAY NEVER GO KANYE AH 556 00:38:51,898 --> 00:38:55,735 YEAH THIS HO FIRE-FIRE * * YEA IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYN 557 00:38:55,735 --> 00:39:00,640 BYE-BYE-BY EVERYBODY SAY -- * * WEST THAT'S MY SIDE 558 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,911 THROW IT UP AN I'MA PUT IT DOWN UNTIL I DIE * 559 00:39:04,911 --> 00:39:12,352 * IT'S CALLING YO COME O AHH THIS HO FIRE-FIR 560 00:39:12,352 --> 00:39:15,021 YEAH * * IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYNC BYE-BYE-BY 561 00:39:15,021 --> 00:39:18,024 WEST THAT'S MY SID THROW IT UP * * I'MA PUT IT DOW 562 00:39:18,024 --> 00:39:23,063 HERE TONIGHT COME ON LET'S GO AHH THIS HO FIRE-FIRE * 563 00:39:23,063 --> 00:39:27,033 * WOO IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYN BYE-BYE-BY 564 00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:33,573 WEST THAT'S MY SIDE * * THROW IT UP AND I'MA PUT IT DOWN 565 00:39:33,573 --> 00:39:37,944 TASTE IT LET IT GO AWAY * * TO THIS WHOLE FIRE-FIRE 566 00:39:37,944 --> 00:39:41,648 IF YOU BLACK WE IN SYN BYE-BYE-BY WEST THAT'S MY SIDE * 567 00:39:41,648 --> 00:39:48,755 * THROW IT UP AND I'MA PUT IT DOWN UNTIL I DIE * 568 00:39:48,755 --> 00:40:01,768 >> THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: TOBE NWIGWE, 569 00:40:01,768 --> 00:40:03,937 FAT NWIGWE "MOMINTS AT THE CRIB" IS OUT NOW. 570 00:40:03,937 --> 00:40:27,060 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 571 00:40:27,060 --> 00:40:32,532 >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO COLIN JOST, KENYA BARRIS, JON LOVITZ 572 00:40:32,532 --> 00:40:35,402 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TOBE AND FAT NWIGWE. AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE, 573 00:40:35,402 --> 00:40:38,538 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 574 00:40:38,538 --> 00:40:41,608 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY