Tariq: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS -- BRIAN COX,
HEIDI GARDNER, MIKAELA SHIFFRIN, CAROLINE POLACHEK,
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW. Questlove: 1820.
Tariq: AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIMMY FALLON!
** ** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HI, EVERYBODY. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WELL, GUYS, WE'RE NOW INTO DAY TWO OF INDICTMENT WATCH 2023.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, EVERYONE'S STILL WAITING TO SEE IF AND WHEN FORMER
PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL BE INDICTED FOR HUSH MONEY PAYMENTS TO STORMY DANIELS.
AFTER ALL OF THE HYPE AND BUILD UP ABOUT TRUMP, STORMY DANIELS WAS LIKE, "SPOILER ALERT, GET
READY TO BE DISAPPOINTED." [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, TRUMP SAID HE WAS GOING TO
BE INDICTED TUESDAY. THEN EVERYONE THOUGHT WEDNESDAY.
AND NOW IT MAY HAPPEN THURSDAY. IT'S LIKE SEEING THE ALERT YOUR UBER DRIVER IS TWO MINUTES AWAY
FOR THREE STRAIGHT DAYS. [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, "COME ON, ALREADY.
I CAN SEE YOU. I CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE PARKED." YEP.
THE MANHATTAN DISTRICT ATTORNEY COULD BE CLOSE TO INDICTING FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP, AND THE
NEWS HAS REALLY TAKEN OVER THE CITY. IN FACT, IT'S EVEN HAD A BIG
EFFECT ON A FAMOUS TV SHOW FILMED HERE. AND I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE
BEHIND WRITING THIS. WATCH THIS.
SYSTEM, WHICH IS TOTALLY RIGGED, THE PEOPLE ARE REPRESENTED BY TWO SEPARATE YET
BIGLY EQUAL GROUPS. THE POLICE WHO INVESTIGATE CRIME AND THE DISTRICT
ATTORNEYS WHO ARE ON A HUGE FAKE NEWS WITCH HUNT TO PROSECUTE VERY INNOCENT AND
VERY HANDSOME OFFENDERS. BELIEVE ME. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES.
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: MEANWHILE, I READ
THAT TRUMP IS ACTUALLY ENJOYING ALL OF THE ATTENTION THAT HE'S GETTING FROM HIS POTENTIAL
INDICTMENT. YEP. TRUMP'S EXCITED NOW.
BUT WAIT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT THE KETCHUP IN JAIL IS HUNT'S. [ LAUGHTER ]
"ATTICA, ATTICA! I WANT OUT OF HERE!" YEP, TRUMP'S LOVING THE
ATTENTION FROM POSSIBLY BEING ARRESTED. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES.
IT WENT FROM "LOCK HER UP" TO "LOCK ME UP." [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THE BIG STORY IS TRUMP'S POTENTIAL INDICTMENT, BUT I STILL HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION. SO, RIGHT NOW, IN A "TONIGHT SHOW" EXCLUSIVE, WE'RE ACTUALLY
GOING TO ASK THE FORMER PRESIDENT A FEW OF THOSE QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, MR. TRUMP, DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE
WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH? NO WAY, NO WAY, NO WAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: FAIR ENOUGH. I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.
LET'S DIVE IN. MR. TRUMP, ROUGHLY HOW LONG WAS YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH
STORMY DANIELS? ABOUT TEN SECONDS. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CYMBAL CRASH ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: WOW.
THAT'S ALL? [ LAUGHTER ] TEN SECONDS TO ME IS LIKE AN
ETERNITY. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OKAY.
NOW, YOUR HUSH MONEY PAYMENT MEANT TO BE TRACED BACK TO YOU, OR DID YOU WANT IT TO BE
ANONYMOUS? ANANOMAS, REALLY AND, ANOMONAS.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MOUTH IS A LITTLE DRY.
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A QUICK WATER BREAK, GO RIGHT AHEAD AND TAKE A BRE --
ALL RIGHT, GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. OKAY.
BACK TO THE INDICTMENT. WHAT DID THE POLICE OFFICER SAY ABOUT TAKING YOUR FINGERPRINTS?
HE SAID I HAD SMALL HANDS. THEY'RE NOT SMALL, ARE THEY? [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: LAST QUESTION. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF YOUR CHANCES FOR RE-ELECTION IF
YOU'RE CONVICTED OF A CRIME? IT'S GOING DOWN THE TUBERS. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OF COURSE, EVERYONE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH TRUMP, INCLUDING POLITICIANS IN WASHINGTON. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.
FOR INSTANCE, PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN SAID, "TRUMP KNOWS HE'S GUILTY, EVEN THOUGH HE
THINKS HE'S SOME KIND OF HERO, LIKE SULLY SULLENBERGER." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THEN SENATOR ANGUS KING SAID, "I LOVE SULLY SULLENBERGER! BUT ANYWAY, TRUMP'S GOTTEN
HIMSELF IN A HUGE MESS THAT EVEN MR. CLEAN CAN'T ERASE." [ LAUGHTER ]
SENATOR MARK KELLY SAID, "I LOVE MR. CLEAN! BUT ANYWAY, I HAVE A FEELING
THAT IF TRUMP GOES TO JAIL, HE'LL BE ONE ANGRY BIRD." THEN SENATOR BILL CASSIDY SAID,
"I LOVE ANGRY BIRDS! BUT ANYWAY, TRUMP NEEDS TO PICK HIMSELF UP, HOLD HIS CHIN HIGH,
AND STOP ACTING LIKE DROOPY DOG." THEN SENATOR MITCH McCONNELL
SAID, "I LOVE DROOPY DOG! BUT ANYWAY, I THINK TRUMP JUST NEEDS TO RELAX AND STOP YELLING
ALL THE TIME, LIKE GEORGE COSTANZA. CONGRESSMAN BRAD SHERMAN SAID,
I LOVE GEORGE COSTANZA! BUT ANYWAY, IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE TRUMP
TESTIFY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EXACTLY HAVE THE ACTING SKILLS OF JOHN LITHGOW.
THEN CONGRESSMAN FRANK PALLONE SAID, I LOVE JOHN LITHGOW! BUT ANYWAY, I JUST WISH THIS
HAPPENED NEXT MONTH SO WE CAN FOCUS ON NCAA BASKETBALL. AND FINALLY, DONALD TRUMP SAID,
"I LOVE BASKETBALLS!" [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
EVERYONE HAS THEIR THING. WELL, SOME MORE BIG NEWS. TODAY TIKTOK SENT AROUND
20 INFLUENCERS TO WASHINGTON, D.C. TO PROTEST A POTENTIAL BAN OF THE APP.
OF COURSE, SINCE IT WAS A A TIKTOK PROTEST, IT LASTED ABOUT THREE SECONDS BEFORE
EVERYONE MOVED ON TO SOMETHING ELSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
I HEARD THAT GOOGLE JUST RELEASED THEIR OWN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE CHATBOT CALLED
BARD. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? YEAH, BUT PEOPLE HAVE NOTICED
THAT BARD MAKES A LOT OF MISTAKES AND IS LESS ACCURATE THAN CHATGPT.
SO, WE DECIDED TO TEST THEM OUT BY ASKING THEM BOTH THE SAME QUESTIONS.
OKAY? FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ASK, "WHAT DO HUMANS NEED TO SURVIVE,"
CHATGPT SAID, "FOOD, WATER, AND SHELTER." WHILE BARD SAID, "FUEGO
CHILI-LIME TAKIS." [ LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT THIS NEXT ONE.
WHEN YOU ASK, "WHAT ARE THE OPENING LINES OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM?"
CHATGPT SAYS, "O SAY, CAN YOU SEE, BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT."
BUT BARD SAYS, "IT'S ME. HI. I'M THE PROBLEM.
IT'S ME." [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NATIONAL ANTHEM? NEXT, WHEN YOU ASK, "WHAT IS CONSIDERED THE WORST SEQUEL OF
ALL TIME?" CHATGPT SAYS "THE GODFATHER PART III."
BARD SAYS, "DON JR." [ LAUGHTER ] HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
WHEN YOU ASK, "WHAT ARE THE THREE BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT?" CHATGPT SAYS, "LEGISLATIVE,
EXECUTIVE, AND JUDICIAL." BUT BARD SAYS, "DINERS, DRIVE-INS, AND DIVES."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, WHEN YOU ASK, "IF 3X MINUS Y EQUALS 12, WHAT IS
THE VALUE OF 8 TO THE POWER OF X DIVIDED BY 2 TO THE POWER OF Y?"
CHATGPT SAYS, "2 TO THE POWER OF 12." WHILE BARD SAYS, "UH, ASK
CHATGPT." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SO, THEY'RE STILL WORKING OUT
THE KINKS THERE, I THINK. AND FINALLY, SIX YEARS AFTER SHUTTING DOWN, A RE-IMAGINED
RINGLING BROS. AND BARNUM AND BAILEY CIRCUS IS GOING ON TOUR WITHOUT ANIMALS.
BUT DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL STILL PIPE IN THAT OLD ELEPHANT SMELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, IT'LL BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
NOW THE LION TAMER JUST STICKS HIS HEAD INSIDE A CLOWN'S MOUTH.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
A CIRCUS WITHOUT ANIMALS. IT'S CALLED, TRUMP'S TRIAL. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW. FROM "SUCCESSION," BRIAN COX IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HEIDI GARDNER IS JOINING US. MIKAELA SHIFFRIN IS HERE.
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM CAROLINE POLACHEK! STICK AROUND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BRIAN COX, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ** I BROUGHT A CLIP IF YOU WANT
TO SEE IT. THIS IS A CLIP -- AND I THINK THIS MORE ELOQUENTLY EXPLAINS
MY FEELINGS ABOUT ACTING. CAN WE SHOW IT? Jimmy: OF COURSE.
** THIS IS MY MASTERCLASS ON THE CRAFT OF ACTING.
JUST [ BLEEP ] DO IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
TONIGHT IS AN EMMY-WINNING ACTOR, WHO YOU KNOW AS LOGAN ROY IN "SUCCESSION."
THE FOURTH AND FINAL SEASON PREMIERES ON HBO AND STREAMS ON HBO MAX THIS SUNDAY.
PLEASE WELCOME BRIAN COX.
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: BRIAN, WELCOME.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. MAN, YOU'RE A FANTASTIC ACTOR. BUT I -- BEFORE WE GET INTO
YOUR WORK ON "SUCCESSION," I WANT TO ASK, HOW WAS THE SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL?
IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS -- YOU KNOW, IT WAS -- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
THAT YOU PLAY GOLF WITH SERENA WILLIAMS. YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NO, EXACTLY RIGHT. YEAH, YOU WERE IN A MICHELOB
ULTRA SPOT. HERE'S THIS. OH, THERE WE ARE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. Jimmy: SERENA SWINGING THERE.
SHE WAS -- SERENA WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE SHE -- SHE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE GOLF.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH. AND -- YOU KNOW?
SO -- Jimmy: INTERESTING. YEAH.
SO -- SO, SHE WAS -- YOU KNOW, SHE WOULD -- I WOULD -- YOU KNOW, SHE'S VERY CONTAINED, AND
SHE WAS DOING THE BALL, AND SHE WOULD DO IT. AND SHE GOES -- AND THEN THAT
WAS IN MIAMI WHERE WE FILMED IT. AND THEN LATER ON, WE CAME TO
PHOENIX TO WATCH THE GAME, TO WATCH THE ACTUAL SUPER BOWL. AND SHE WAS AMAZING BECAUSE
SHE'D BEEN PRACTICING. AND SHE'D BEEN PRACTICING HER SWING.
AND SHE WAS EXTRAORDINARY. AND I THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SO SECRETIVE."
Jimmy: YEAH, DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU A LITTLE MAD? YOU GO, "CAN'T YOU BE -- YEAH,
YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING? I KNOW.
YEAH. Jimmy: YEAH. I'M GONNA GET CRAZY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU ACTUALLY GREW UP NEAR ST. ANDREWS, RIGHT?
I DID, I DID, I DID. Jimmy: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? WELL, IT WAS -- IT WAS --
NO, IT WAS GREAT. I MEAN, I SAW -- I MEAN, FAMOUSLY, WHEN I WAS SEVEN, I
SAW BEN HOGAN -- Jimmy: WOW. -- WIN THE CARNOUSTIE OPEN.
Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. AND I GOT -- I ACTUALLY HAD A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN WITH HIM.
AND PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO BEN HOGAN IS. Jimmy: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
A LEGEND. BUT YOU PROBABLY KNOW WHO HE IS.
Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHO HE IS. BEN HOGAN IS THE GREATEST.
AND THAT WAS -- THAT WAS AN AMAZING TIME. BUT I'M NOT A GOLFER.
I'M HOPELESS. I CAN'T DO IT FOR LOVE, NO MONEY.
Jimmy: WELL, YOU -- WELL, YOU HAVE TO BE A GOLFER, THOUGH, IF YOU GREW UP NEXT TO
THE COURSE. NO. THAT'S THE REASON WHY YOU'RE
NOT A GOLFER. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE, "YOU
DON'T HAVE A CHANCE AT IT." WHEN YOU'RE NEXT TO THE COURSE AND YOU ALL SEE THESE
GUYS DOING IT, THEY CAN GO, "[ BLEEP ] THAT. I'M NOT DOING THAT."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] NOT FOR ALL THE TEA IN CHINA. Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT DRAMATIC ACTOR. BUT I WAS READING A COUPLE
INTERVIEWS, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BE READY FOR A BREAK IN DRAMA AND DO A LITTLE COMEDY.
YEAH. Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE THAT. WELL, AS YOU GET OLDER, YOU
JUST WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. I MEAN, WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF SUCH A BIG [ BLEEP ] SHOW,
IT'S -- IT'S IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE LAUGH MORE. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YEAH. YOU KNOW, AND I -- I THINK THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO.
I WANT TO LAUGH. I WANT TO BE, YOU KNOW -- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, LOGAN'S QUITE
FUNNY. Jimmy: YEAH, HE IS. I THINK HE'S VERY FUNNY.
YEAH, NO. I THINK HE'S VERY FUNNY. Jimmy: BUT YOU WERE IN ONE
OF MY FAVORITE COMEDIES, "SUPER TROOPERS." OH, YEAH.
Jimmy: THIS IS A CULT CLASSIC NOW. BUT I MEAN, FOR YOU TO BE IN
THIS WITH THE -- [ LAUGHTER ] COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] RIGHT? BROKEN LIZARD.
Jimmy: BROKEN LIZARD. YEAH. Jimmy: JAY CHANDRASEKHAR.
JAY CHANDRASEKHAR, GREAT DIRECTOR. Jimmy: WHEN YOU --
FANTASTIC. WHEN YOU GET OFFERED THIS ROLE, DO YOU GO LIKE, "NO, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?" NO, NO, NO. NO, THE POINT IS I'M AN ACTOR.
I DO DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THE MORE DIFFERENT, THE BETTER.
Jimmy: YEAH. SO, WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMES ALONG AND THEY SAY, "BUT
WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT? YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT?" THAT'S IMMEDIATELY THE REASON
THAT YOU DO DO IT. BECAUSE EVERYBODY SAYS, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT?"
I'M GOING TO DO IT. THAT'S IT. Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH.
YOU'VE TAUGHT ACTING OVER THE YEARS. AND THERE'S A RESURFACED VIDEO
THAT JUST SHOWING UP ON THE INTERNET NOW WHERE YOU ARE TEACHING SHAKESPEARE TO A
A 2-YEAR-OLD. YEAH. WELL --
Jimmy: WE HAVE A CLIP OF IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
TO BE. OR NOT TO BE. OR NOT TO BE.
TO BE OR NOT TO BE. THAT IS THE QUESTION. YEAH.
IT IS. [ LAUGHTER ] FANTASTIC.
TO BE. TO BE. OR NOT TO BE.
THAT IS THE QUESTION. THAT IS THE QUESTION.
YES. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: COME ON! IS THAT THE CUTEST THING? WHAT A CUTE KID.
OH, HE'S AMAZING BOY. AMAZING. I MEAN, HE'S NOW -- THAT WAS --
HE'S NOW 13. YOU KNOW, HE WAS AN AMAZING KID.
HE IS AN AMAZING KID. Jimmy: HOW CUTE. AND YOU GO LIKE, "YEAH, THAT IS
THE QUESTION." IT'S LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THAT IS THE QUESTION. AND HE REALLY UNDERSTOOD. YEAH, YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH. HE UNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION, YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH. ARE YOU -- DO YOU BELIEVE THAT ANYONE IF PRACTICED ENOUGH CAN
BE AN ACTOR? YEAH. I THINK ACTING IS -- YOU KNOW,
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT ACTING, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT BEING AN ACTOR. IT'S ABOUT BEING IN TOUCH WITH
YOURSELF BUT UNDERSTANDING WHO YOU ARE. AND THERE ARE NOT VERY MANY
INSTITUTIONS WHO DO THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST YOU. THAT'S IT.
AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DEAL WITH. AND IT'S -- YOU LEARN SO MUCH. I MEAN, I -- WHEN I WENT TO
DRAMA SCHOOL, IT WAS THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE IT GAVE ME A VISION OF WHAT WAS
POSSIBLE. Jimmy: YEAH, ALSO, EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT GOING INTO ACTING, I
WOULD SAY IT'S PROBABLY GOOD. EXACTLY. Jimmy: IT GIVES YOU
CONFIDENCE. YEAH. IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT ACTING.
IT'S ABOUT BEING A HUMAN BEING. AND THAT'S -- THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
THAT'S OUR JOB. Jimmy: YEAH. YOU'VE ACTUALLY GONE VIRAL FOR
SOME OF YOUR OPINIONS ON METHOD ACTING. WELL, YOU KNOW, JIMMY, I'VE
BEEN A LITTLE HARSH. [ LAUGHTER ] NO, I HAVE.
NO, NO, CAREFUL, CAREFUL. I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HARSH ON IT.
AND -- AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. AND IN FACT, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT IN A -- IN A MASTER CLASS SERIES OF ACTING THAT I'VE JUST BEEN
DOING. Jimmy: WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DID A MASTER CLASS.
NO, I KNOW. IT IS. AND, YOU KNOW -- WELL, ACTUALLY
I BROUGHT A CLIP OF -- IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT. THIS IS A CLIP.
AND I THINK THIS MORE ELOQUENTLY EXPLAINS MY FEELINGS ABOUT ACTING.
CAN -- CAN YOU SHOW IT? Jimmy: OF COURSE. HERE'S A CLIP FROM BRIAN COX'S
MASTER CLASS.
HI. I'M BRIAN COX, AND THIS IS MY MASTER CLASS ON THE CRAFT OF
ACTING. JUST [ BLEEP ] DO IT! [ LAUGHTER ]
ACT! SAY THE [ BLEEP ] LINES, AND DON'T BUMP INTO THE [ BLEEP ]
FURNITURE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
Jimmy: THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING. THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING
I'VE EVER SEEN. IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL. WELL, I'M -- EVEN WATCHING, I'M
QUITE MOVED BY IT. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I NOTICED YOU DID
MOVE A LITTLE BIT. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
Jimmy: YOU WERE OVER THERE, AND NOW YOU'RE OVER HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE FINAL SEASON OF "SUCCESSION." YEAH.
Jimmy: BOY, OH, BOY, I FEEL LIKE WE WANT MORE. YOU KNOW, WE WANT -- WE WANT A
A COUPLE SEASONS MORE. AND I THINK -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE'RE NOT READY. WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD ADAGE, "WHEN THE PARTY'S AT
THE BEST, LEAVE." [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH.
AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE DONE. YOU KNOW, JESSE ARMSTRONG, OUR GREAT CREATOR, HE'S JUST -- YOU
KNOW, HE WON'T LET SOMETHING GO PAST ITS SELL BY DATE. HE KNOWS THAT TELEVISION ISN'T
INFINITE. FOR HIM, IT'S FINITE. SO -- AND EACH SEASON TOPS THE
LAST SEASON. Jimmy: YES. AND THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH YOU
CAN DO IN TOPPING THE SEASON. SO, THIS SEASON IS THE TOPPER OF ALL SEASONS.
AND ACTUALLY, INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, HE HADN'T -- HE KIND OF HINTED TO ME THAT HE WAS GOING
TO STOP. THE SHOW WAS COMING TO AN END. BUT HE DIDN'T REALLY DECIDE
UNTIL QUITE LATE ON. IN FACT, I THINK SARAH SNOOK --
Jimmy: YEAH, SHE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT AND DIDN'T KNOW. YEAH, SHE DIDN'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW, SHE DID THE LAST EPISODE, AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THE FINAL READING THAT THE
SHOW WAS OVER. BUT THEN, SHE'S AUSTRALIAN. SHE LIVES FAR AWAY, AND THEY
DON'T LISTEN VERY WELL. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DID YOU HAVE AN
INKLING THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST SEASON? I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE
THE LAST SEASON. Jimmy: YOU DID? YEAH, I KNEW AND I, KIND OF,
FELT IT IN MY -- Jimmy: YEAH. MY BONES.
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD THING. I DON'T MIND IT.
I LOVE ENDINGS. I LOVE GETTING THE [ BLEEP ] FINISHED WITH IT.
YOU KNOW? AND -- BUT, YOU KNOW -- AND EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE -- I'M
AFRAID -- Jimmy: NO, NO. YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE CAN LEAVE IN TO BE HONEST. YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW. IT'S WHAT I CALL THE "LOGAN ROY
DISEASE." AND I'VE BEEN AFFECTED BY IT. AND IT'S MY WIFE WHO'S NEARLY
DIVORCING ME. Jimmy: WELL, LOOK AT THAT -- I MEAN, YOU HAVE -- WHAT A
A GREAT CAST AS WELL. WENT ON -- THEY'RE A GREAT CAST.
Jimmy: HERE'S YOU GUYS AT THE RED CARPET. ANY ONE OF YOUR KIDS, DO YOU
THINK, DESERVE ANYTHING? NO. [ LAUGHTER ]
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THEY DESERVE [ BLEEP ] ALL, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: I KNEW THAT BEFORE I
ASKED IT. I FELT IT AS WELL. BUT I -- YOU'RE CLEARLY VERY
INTELLIGENT. Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER SAY THAT TO ME. YEAH.
Jimmy: ARE YOU ACTING? WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, YOU MEAN NOW? Jimmy: YES. JUST A TOUCH.
Jimmy: JUST A TOUCH. YEAH, I THINK -- YEAH.
FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW BEFORE WE SET UP THIS SEASON, WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT
THIS SEASON ABOUT "SUCCESSION"? IT'S A ROLLER COASTER. Jimmy: YEAH.
YOU KNOW, IT REALLY IS. AND IT'S -- YOU KNOW, WE'RE BRINGING EVERYTHING HOME TO
ROOST, AND IT TAKES TIME. AND I THINK YOU'RE IN FOR -- YOU KNOW, WE -- AS I SAY, HE
CAPS EACH SEASON. AND I THINK THIS SEASON'S GOING TO BE A CAPPER.
Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP.
HERE'S BRIAN COX IN "SUCCESSION." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
YOU GOOD? UH-HUH. IT'S NICE, HUH?
YEAH, LITTLE PIGGIES STUFFING THEIR MOUTHS. WHY IS EVERYBODY SO [ BLEEP ]
HAPPY? YOU OKAY? YEAH.
I GOT DONE A HUGE [ BLEEP ] DEAL AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME. I GOT A -- PLUS BEERS.
I GOT THE ELECTION. I GOT PLENTY ON MY PLATE. Jimmy: YEAH, BRIAN COX,
EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE FOURTH AND FINAL SEASON OF
"SUCCESSION" PREMIERES ON HBO THIS SUNDAY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
HEIDI GARDNER. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** I TURN TO HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "HEY, BABE.
WOULD YOU JUST BLOW THAT CHEESE OFF MY PANTS?" [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, YEAH BABE. I GOT IT."
AND HE TAKES A MASSIVE BREATH IN AND THEN THE SECOND HE STARTS BLOWING, GROUND BEEF
JUST STARTS SPRAYING -- [ LAUGHTER ] **
Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A A VERY FUNNY ACTRESS AND COMEDIENNE WHO IS IN HER SIXTH
SEASON ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH RETURNS APRIL 1st WITH HOST QUINTA BRUNSON AND
MUSICAL GUEST LIL YACHTY. PLEASE WELCOME HEIDI GARDNER.
** Jimmy: WE ARE -- HEIDI! WOW.
Jimmy: WE ARE -- WELCOME! WE HAVE -- THEY'RE SO NICE.
I FELL! I FELL INTO MY CHAIR BECAUSE I'M OVERWHELMED.
Jimmy: OH, THIS IS -- I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. I'M HAPPY.
Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR FIRST "TONIGHT SHOW" APPEARANCE. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, YOU
GUYS. Jimmy: THIS IS -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE AND WHAT A GREAT TIME BECAUSE THIS
IS YOUR SIXTH SEASON. YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE ALSO ON "SHRINKING" ON APPLE TV PLUS. JASON SEGEL AND HARRISON FORD.
YES, WE HAVE SOME FANS. Jimmy: I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU THOUGH BECAUSE BEFORE
COMEDY WAS PART OF YOUR LIFE, YOU WERE A HAIRDRESSER. YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH. I DID HAIR. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: THAT'S COOL! YEAH! Jimmy: AND WHAT -- DID
EVERYONE KNOW -- DID ALL YOUR CLIENTS KNOW THAT YOU WERE FUNNY AND THEY WERE LIKE, "OH,
YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE --"
NOT AT ALL. IF -- I KEPT THE COMEDY THING VERY SECRET SO WHEN I TOLD
THEM, "YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY LEAVING THE SALON TO PURSUE COMEDY."
THEY ALL SAID, "ARE YOU FUNNY?" [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW!
I JUST SAID, "TIME WILL TELL." Jimmy: WOW.
"ARE YOU FUNNY?" ALL YOU DO IS TALK TO THEM THE WHOLE TIME.
YEAH. Jimmy: ARE -- ARE YOU A GOOD HAIRDRESSER?
I AM A GOOD HAIRDRESSER. I DID ALL MY FRIENDS, ALL MY FAMILY.
ACTUALLY MY LAST HOLD OUT CLIENT WAS MY DAD. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
AW, I KNOW BECAUSE HE HAD A A VERY SPECIFIC HAIRCUT THAT HE'S BEEN GETTING FOR DECADES.
I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF THE GUYS ARE FAMILIAR HERE -- IT'S CALLED "THE MUMMY CUT."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OKAY, SO NO -- HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN "THE MUMMY CUT?"
Jimmy: NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS. OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] "THE MUMMY CUT" IS BRENDAN FRASER IN THE MUMMY'S
HAIR. [ AUDIENCE OOHS ] Jimmy: OH.
ARE YOU GUYS RECALLING THIS? Jimmy: OH, YEAH, NOW I -- NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT. THIS IS -- OH YEAH. OKAY.
RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE A PRETTY COOL
HAIRCUT. Jimmy: AND NOW -- YEAH, HE'S A STUD.
YEAH, OF COURSE. SO MY DAD'S BEEN GETTING THAT CUT FOR 25 YEARS.
Jimmy: OH. AND IT WAS A BIG NIGHT IN OUR FAMILY WHEN BRENDAN FRASER
WON THE OSCAR BECAUSE THE NEXT MORNING I GOT A TEXT FROM MY DAD THAT SAID, "BRENDAN FOR THE
OSCAR, DOT, DOT, DOT, AND I CHOSE THE HAIRCUT YEARS AGO." [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SO I THINK HE -- YES. Jimmy: SO HE THINKS HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR BRENDAN FRASER
GETTING AN OSCAR? YES, BUT I DIDN'T HEAR BRENDAN FRASER THANK
RICK GARDNER SO TONIGHT MAYBE WE THANK RICK GARDNER. Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YOU,
RICK! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FOR BRENDAN'S CAREER -- OH,
HERE IS YOUR DAD. OH, INTERESTING, HERE'S YOUR DAD WITH "THE MUMMY CUT."
"MUMMY CUT." RIGHT? Jimmy: YEAH, NOT TOO BAD.
THE SWOOPS. Jimmy: YEAH, HE LOOKS GOOD ACTUALLY, YEAH.
YES. Jimmy: WOW! FANTASTIC, HE'S A STUD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE WHITE SHIRT. Jimmy: RICK, GOOD JOB,
CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A "MUMMY CUT." Jimmy: ARE YOU -- ARE YOU
FROM KANSAS CITY, RIGHT? THIS -- IS THIS -- I KNOW YOU'RE A BIG KANSAS CITY --
KANSAS, YOU LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. Jimmy: YOU DO?
I LOVE IT. Jimmy: YEAH I THINK -- GOODNIGHTS -- I SEE YOU WHEN
YOU WAVE GOODNIGHT SOMETIMES YOU'RE WEARING THE JERSEY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
HEAD-TO-TOE CHIEFS OVERALLS. Jimmy: YEAH. ALL KANSAS CITY.
EVEN WHEN I GO HOME NOW -- I LOVE TO GO BACK TO KANSAS CITY AND ACTUALLY MY DAD,
RICK GARDNER, WE HAVE A A TRADITION -- Jimmy: I KNOW HIM.
YOU KNOW RICK -- "THE MUMMY CUT." Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S THE ONE
THAT GOT BRENDAN FRASER THE OSCAR, YEAH, WE ALL KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
MY DAD. Jimmy: PRETTY FAMOUS. SO HE HAS THIS TRADITION
WHERE HE LIKES TO TAKE ME TO LIKE THE GREASIEST DINER OR FIND LIKE THE MOST LOADED
BURGER -- Jimmy: YEAH. -- LIKE STUFF.
AND SO THIS LAST TIME I WENT HOME, HE WAS LIKE, "I FOUND THIS GROUND BEEF TACO WHERE THE
CHEESE IS THE POWDER FROM KRAFT MACARONI. [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S AT A PLACE CALLED IN-A-TUB AND THEIR SIGN IS A BATHTUB. WE'VE GOT TO GO TRY IT."
AND I GO, "THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING. YES, LET'S GO."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. YEAH.
Jimmy: THAT DOES -- TO ME THAT SOUNDS FANTASTIC. YES, SO --
Jimmy: THE CHEESE IS THE POWDER FROM KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE?
YEAH, YOU HAVE KIDS, YOU KNOW. Jimmy: OH, FOR THE KIDS,
YEAH, OF COURSE. [ LAUGHTER ] SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD
LOVE TO EAT, YEAH. JUST DRINK THE POWDER. Jimmy: THE KIDS, GET IN
LINE. YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH. SO WE GET IN THE CAR TO GO
AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I DECIDED TO WEAR LIKE THE MOST EXPENSIVE, PRISTINE PAIR OF
WHITE PANTS. WE GO TO IN-A-TUB. WE'RE EATING THE GROUND BEEF
TACO WITH THE POWDER CHEESE. IT'S DELICIOUS, HE WAS RIGHT. Jimmy: YES.
I GET LIKE JUST THE TINIEST SPECK OF THAT POWDERED CHEESE ON MY PANTS AND I KNEW IF I
TOOK A NAPKIN IT WOULD SPREAD IT. Jimmy: CAN'T TOUCH IT.
YEAH, SO I WAS LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BLOW THIS OFF, BUT I WAS LIKE AT A WEIRD ANGLE
TO LIKE BLOW ON MYSELF. AND MY HUSBAND WHO WAS ALSO ENJOYING A GROUND BEEF TACO, I
TURNED TO HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "HEY, BABE, WOULD YOU JUST BLOW THAT CHEESE OFF MY PANTS?"
[ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, YEAH, BABE.
I GOT IT." AND HE TAKES A MASSIVE BREATH IN AND THEN THE SECOND HE
STARTS BLOWING, GROUND BEEF JUST STARTS SPRAYING -- [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE LAYS A STRIP OF THE GREASIEST CHEWED UP TACO ALL OVER MY PANTS.
Jimmy: OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS! SO THEY ENDED UP COSTING US
LIKE $500. Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, THAT'S IT -- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU GO TO IN-A-TUB. EXACTLY. DID YOU GO CRAZY WHEN
TRAVIS KELCE WAS ON "SNL?" OH MY -- I MEAN I'VE BEEN BEGGING LORNE FOR TWO YEARS TO
HAVE TRAVIS KELCE HOST THE SHOW BECAUSE I HAD A FEELING. I WAS LIKE, "NOT ONLY IS HE THE
GREATEST TIGHT-END OF ALL TIME, HE'S FUNNY, HE'S CHARMING, HE'S GOING TO BE GREAT."
AND LORNE WAS LIKE, "OF COURSE HE CAN HOST HEIDI, HE JUST HAS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL."
Jimmy: YEAH. AND I WAS LIKE, "THAT'S A A LOT TO ASK."
Jimmy: YEAH. AND THEN HE WENT AND DID IT. THEN HE WENT AND DID IT.
AND I KEEP SAYING HE WON THE SUPER BOWL AND THEN HE WON "SNL," BECAUSE HE KILLED IT.
Jimmy: HE DID CRUSH IT, YEAH. YES.
Jimmy: IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR AND YOUR DAD, WHAT WOULD WE DO WITH ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE'S
CAREERS? [ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE WINNING OSCARS, WE'RE
WINNING SUPER BOWLS -- Jimmy: SUPER BOWLS -- THESE ARE THE GARDNERS!
Jimmy: YEAH. DO YOU LIKE HAVING CELEBRITIES -- SORRY -- GOSH,
CELEBRITIES -- ATHLETES HOST AS OPPOSED TO JUST CELEBS? I DO BECAUSE I'M A HUGE
SPORTS FAN AND I FEEL LIKE JUST THE STAKES ARE A LITTLE BIT LOWER BECAUSE NO ONE'S
EXPECTING LIKE AN ATHLETE TO BE GREAT. THEY'RE ALREADY GREAT AT THE
THING THEY DO, SO WHEN THEY -- WHEN THEY ARE GREAT, IT'S LIKE -- EVERYONE'S SAYING LIKE
YOU READ THE REVIEWS OF THE KELCE SHOW AND IT'S LIKE -- HE'S THE GREATEST ACTOR OF ALL
TIME. HE'S BETTER THAN HALF THE CAST. I'M LIKE, YEAH --
Jimmy: WOW. WOW. YEAH!
Jimmy: NO IT -- NO THAT WASN'T -- THAT'S NOT THE TRUTH, BUT HE WAS AMAZING BY THE WAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. Jimmy: HE -- THAT WAS A
A PHENOMENAL SHOW. IT WAS SO FUN. Jimmy: I WILL SAY MY
FAVORITE SKETCH THAT YOU DID THIS SEASON WAS THE JOKER SKETCH.
YEAH. Jimmy: IT WAS SO FUNNY AND YOUR DELIVERY, BY THE WAY, WAS
PHENOMENAL. IT WAS PERFECT. I WAS LIKE, "OH MY GOSH,
HEIDI GARDNER FOR THE WIN ON THAT ONE." THAT WAS --
JOKER. JUST LIKE THE JOKER AT MY WEDDING.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS AN ANDREW DISMUKES SKETCH.
HE ALWAYS PUTS ME IN STUFF AND I'M SO LUCKY. Jimmy: NO, NO, HE'S SO LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU -- TO BE -- TO PUT IN A SKETCH. HEIDI, YOU'RE PHENOMENAL ON THE
SHOW. THANK YOU. Jimmy: CONGRATS ON
EVERYTHING. BEST TO YOUR DAD. THANK YOU FOR BEING ON THE
SHOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I APPRECIATE IT.
HEIDI GARDNER. "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" RETURNS APRIL 1st WITH HOST
QUINTA BRUNSON AND MUSICAL GUEST LIL YACHTY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MIKAELA SHIFFRIN. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A A TWO-TIME OLYMPIC GOLD
MEDALIST, WHO JUST HAD AN INCREDIBLE WORLD CUP SEASON, WHERE SHE BECAME THE WINNINGEST
ALPINE SKIER OF ALL TIME. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME, MIKAELA SHIFFRIN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ** **
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: LOOK AT YOU! DUDE, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. Jimmy: WHAT IS THIS?
YOU BROUGHT SKIS WITH YOU? THESE ARE FOR YOU. THIS IS A GIFT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: THIS IS -- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BRING ME GIFTS?
YEAH, NO, OKAY, SO -- Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH. THESE -- THIS IS A GIFT I
GOT FROM ATOMIC ON MY 86th VICTORY JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO. Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
BUT I WANT TO GIVE THEM TO YOU AND GET A LITTLE -- A A LITTLE ENGRAVING -- SAYS YOUR
NAME. Jimmy: THANK YOU -- RIGHT THERE.
SAYS, "THE G.O.A.T. -- THE G.O.A.T. OF TALK SHOW TELEVISION."
Jimmy: OH MY -- HEY -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FROM THE G.O.A.T.
DON'T CUT YOURSELF. Jimmy: FROM THE G.O.A.T., THANK YOU SO MUCH!
NOW I WANT TO TAKE THIS -- THAT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WHAT DO I -- WHAT CAN I DO WITH THEM? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM?
Jimmy: YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] CAN I HOLD THEM?
WELL, IT REALLY DEPENDS. YOU COULD PROBABLY LIKE -- Jimmy: NO, I'M NOT GOING TO
USE THEM. WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM NOW? DO I PUT THEM ON THE COUCH?
YOU CAN -- YOU CAN JUST THROW THEM TO THE SIDE, I DON'T KNOW.
Jimmy: NO, I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. WE'LL PUT THEM OVER HERE.
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD, YEAH, WE'LL PUT THEM OVER HERE. WE'LL LEAN THEM UP?
CAREFUL. Jimmy: YES. OH, MY GOSH.
Jimmy: MIKAELA, THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS. OKAY.
Jimmy: I DON'T WANT THEM TO FALL OVER. I'M GOING TO FRAME THESE.
HEY, IT'S A -- [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I MEAN, THESE SKIS --
CAN I JUST SAY LIKE, ARE THESE SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD USE? WELL, YEAH.
I WOULD USE THEM. I WOULDN'T RACE ON THEM, THOUGH.
Jimmy: NO, YOU WOULDN'T RACE ON THEM. NO, I WOULDN'T RACE ON THEM.
Jimmy: WOULD IT BE SOMETHING THAT I WOULD USE? YES.
[ LAUGHTER ] THOSE ARE FULLY SKIABLE, AND I
WOULD USE THEM FOR FREE SKIING. Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS, BY THE WAY.
THIS IS JUST GORGEOUS. IT'S A LITTLE BIT LIKE A A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS THAT'S IN
THE WAY. Jimmy: IT'S BEAUTIFUL. NO -- I WILL MOVE IT OUT OF THE
WAY, BUT I'M JUST SO HAPPY THAT IT'S HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, IT'S KIND OF -- IT'S KIND OF LIKE -- Jimmy: YOU -- YOU'RE USED TO
IT. "HELLO" Jimmy: I KNOW, "HELLO!"
[ LAUGHTER ] CAN I JUST SAY SOME NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU?
YOU'RE THE ONLY SKIER TO HAVE WON A RACE IN EACH OF THE WORLD CUP'S SIX DISCIPLINES,
DOWNHILL, SUPER-G, SLALOM, GIANT SLALOM, COMBINED AND PARALLEL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING. OKAY, YEAH.
Jimmy: THIS SEASON, YOU BECAME THE FIRST AMERICAN TO WIN FIVE WORLD CUP OVERALL
TITLES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU BROKE THE WOMEN'S RECORD
FOR MOST CAREER GIANT SLALOM WINS AT 21. AND --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU BROKE THE RECORD FOR MOST WORLD CUP WINS, 88.
A RECORD 86 THAT WAS SET 34 YEARS AGO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
86 -- 88? I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD.
THANK YOU FOR FINDING THE TIME TO DO MY LITTLE SHOW. I MEAN --
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MIKAELA, I'M SO EXCITED -- CAN I MOVE THIS OUT OF THE WAY?
YEAH, YOU CAN -- YEAH, MOVE IT. Jimmy: I JUST WANT TO EVEN
JUST HOLD IT. WOW! [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS SO COOL. THANK YOU. Jimmy: ARE YOU -- ARE YOU
FREAKING OUT? ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS? ARE YOU -- YOU'RE LIKE, "WOW,
I'VE DONE IT." OR "I'M STILL DOING IT." I MEAN, YOU'RE -- STILL --
IT'S WILD, YEAH. IT'S -- IT'S A WEIRD FEELING, BECAUSE I DID NOT SET OUT TO
WIN 88 RACES. I -- I MEAN -- THIS, THIS WAS MY BIG GOAL FOR THIS SEASON AND
I -- I -- Jimmy: CRUSHED IT. YEAH, IT WENT WELL.
Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. YEAH, IT WENT WELL. I MEAN --
A LITTLE SURPRISING. Jimmy: WHAT -- DO YOU WIN -- DO YOU HAVE A TON OF THESE, AND
DO YOU WIN PRIZES LIKE THIS? IS THIS LIKE -- OR DO YOU WIN MEDALS?
OBVIOUSLY, GOLD MEDALS. WE WIN -- I MEAN, EACH RACE HAS SOME LIKE MEDAL OR TROPHY
OR SOMETHING, BUT THIS IS -- THIS IS KIND OF, FOR ME, AND FOR A LOT OF SKIERS, IT'S THE
MOST COVETED PRIZE, BECAUSE IT'S THE SUM OF ALL THE RACES IN THE SEASON.
IT'S LIKE -- IT WOULD BE LIKE THE SUPER BOWL OR NBA FINALS OR WHATEVER.
Jimmy: YEAH. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET AT THE END OF THE SEASON WHEN YOU ARE
THE GREATEST SKIER CONSISTENTLY THROUGH THE SEASON, SO THAT'S --
Jimmy: WHAT'S -- WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST PRIZE YOU EVER GOT? OH, I THINK I KNOW WHERE
YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] A REINDEER.
THAT WOULD BE THE WEIRDEST. Jimmy: A REINDEER? REINDEER, YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH I DIDN'T -- I WASN'T GOING TO GO THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. YOU WON A REINDEER?
I WON SIX REINDEER. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: CAN YOU EXPLAIN
ANYTHING AT ALL? WHAT -- WHERE WAS THIS? IN THE NORTH POLE?
WHERE WERE WE? YES, IT WAS IN THE NORTH POLE.
Jimmy: YEAH. WELL -- YOU -- IT'S IN LEVI, FINLAND.
IT'S A FIRST SLALOM RACE OF THE SEASON, AND ONE OF THE PRIZES IS A REINDEER.
Jimmy: DO YOU REALLY -- THE PRIZE IS A REINDEER. Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH -- DO YOU SAY, "NO, THANK YOU?" OR WHAT DO YOU --
I JUST -- I BRING THEM HOME. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU RAISE THEM LIKE
YOUR -- WHAT DO -- THEY'RE LIKE WALKING AROUND
MY HOUSE. Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A A REINDEER?
NO, THEY STAY IN FINLAND. I JUST AM KIND OF -- I'M LIKE SAVING THE REINDEER, ONE BY
ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] AND NOW YOU CAN JUST TELL ALL
OF YOUR KIDS THAT RUDOLPH THE REINDEER ACTUALLY EXISTS. Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S --
BECAUSE I NAMED ONE OF THEM RUDOLPH. Jimmy: YES!
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FOR ANY KIDS OUT THERE WHO WERE QUESTIONING --
Jimmy: YEAH, RUDOLPH IS REAL. -- THE THINGS I JUST, LIKE,
SAID SOMETHING ON TELEVISION. Jimmy: YEAH, HE LIVES IN FINLAND.
YEAH, OF COURSE. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW I -- I READ ABOUT YOU
IN A JOURNAL WHEN YOU WERE 9, YOU SAID, "I WANT TO BE THE BEST SKIER IN THE WORLD."
YEAH. Jimmy: MAN, OH, MAN, YOU DID IT.
IT'S A LOT FOR A 9-YEAR-OLD. Jimmy: IT IS. BUT I ALSO SAID I WANTED TO
BE A RAINBOW HORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS LIKE MY BIGGEST --
Jimmy: YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO GO BACK TO FINLAND.
THAT'S IT. YEAH, THAT'S -- Jimmy: IT'S ANOTHER PRIZE
THEY GIVE YOU. YEAH. WHAT DID THE BEST IN THE WORLD
MEAN TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE 9? I MEAN -- MY GREATEST IDOL IN SKI RACING IS BODE MILLER.
Jimmy: OH, YEAH. AND, AT THE TIME, WHEN I WAS WATCHING HIM RACE, HE WAS KIND
OF LIKE ENTERING THE PEAK OF HIS CAREER, ACTUALLY. AND HE -- HE WON -- HE WON
GLOBES. HE WON RACES. HE WAS FIGHTING FOR PODIUMS
EVERY SINGLE RACE IN -- IN ALL THE DISCIPLINES, AND I -- I WANTED TO BE LIKE THAT.
Jimmy: YEAH. BE LIKE BODE. Jimmy: AND NOW THERE'S
9-YEAR-OLDS THAT WANT TO BE YOU. MAYBE.
Jimmy: MIKAELA -- THEY DO! I MEAN, I WANT TO BE YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE ALL WANT TO BE YOU! WE WANT TO BE MIKAELA SHIFFRIN, COME ON!
YOU'RE THE -- YOU'RE THE ONE WE LOOK UP TO. WELL, WE CAN TRADE PLACES
ONE DAY IF YOU'D LIKE. Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE.
YOU CAN HOST IF YOU'D LIKE TO. YOU HAVE THE SKIS NOW. Jimmy: I HAVE THE SKIS.
YEAH, EXACTLY. I THINK YOU CAN DO IT. Jimmy: CAN WE TALK ABOUT --
YOU HAVE A YOUTUBE SERIES CALLED, "MOVING RIGHT ALONG." YES.
Jimmy: WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DO THAT? I THINK THERE'S JUST --
THERE'S SUCH A LACK OF TELLING THE ACTUAL STORIES BEHIND WHAT WE DO IN SKI RACING.
AND -- PEOPLE SEE WHAT WE DO ON THE SLOPES WHEN WE'RE ACTUALLY RACING, BUT I WANTED TO GIVE A
A LITTLE BIT MORE INSIGHT INTO WHAT GOES ON A LITTLE BIT BEHIND THE SCENES AND BEHIND
CLOSED DOORS. AND -- AND THE WORK THAT GOES INTO IT, BUT ALSO THE GOOFY
SIDE OF IT, BECAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS -- THEY'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT I'VE BEEN -- I'M SO
INTENSE, BECAUSE THEY SEE ME AT THE START OF A RACE, AND I'M FOCUSED OF COURSE.
IT'S LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE." [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT WHEN -- Jimmy: YEAH. BUT THE REST ARE, LIKE,
PRETTY GOOFY. Jimmy: YEAH. SO IT'S -- HOPEFULLY PEOPLE
LAUGH, HOPEFULLY THEY GET SOME INSIGHT INTO LIFE. AND THIS WHOLE SEASON, IT
REALLY CHRONICLES THE DETAILS OF THIS WHOLE SEASON, RIGHT UP THROUGH THE 86th AND 87th
VICTORY THE -- JUST A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, SO -- YEAH.
Jimmy: I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE DOING THAT. YOU HAVE A NEW ONE COMING OUT
SOON. YEAH, COUPLE DAYS. Jimmy: A NEW ONE DROPPING
SOON. YEAH. Jimmy: AND I THANK YOU FOR
TAKING THE TIME AND COMING TO VISIT ME. THANK YOU.
Jimmy: ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, I'M A BIG FAN. WE ALL ARE BIG FANS.
CONGRATULATIONS ON AN AMAZING SEASON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU. Jimmy: YOU'RE THE BEST! CHECK OUT HER SERIES, "MOVING
RIGHT ALONG," ON YOUTUBE. MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
Jimmy: PERFORMING "WELCOME TO MY ISLAND" FROM HER ALBUM "DESIRE, I WANT TO TURN INTO
YOU," GIVE IT UP FOR CAROLINE POLACHEK!
** ** * WELCOME TO MY ISLAND
SEE THE PALM TREES WAVE IN THE WIND WELCOME TO MY ISLAND *
* HOPE YOU LIKE ME YOU AIN'T LEAVING WELCOME TO MY ISLAND
SEE THE PALM TREES * * WAVE IN THE WIND WELCOME TO MY ISLAND
HOPE YOU LIKE ME YOU AIN'T LEAVING * * DESIRE
I WANNA TURN INTO YOU DESIRE I WANNA TURN INTO YOU *
* FLOAT ON THE OCEAN BLUE FLOAT ON
THE OCEAN BLUE * ** * WELCOME TO MY ISLAND
SEE THE PALM TREES WAVE IN THE WIND WELCOME TO MY ISLAND *
* HOPE YOU LIKE ME YOU AIN'T LEAVING DESIRE
I WANNA TURN INTO YOU * * DESIRE I WANNA TURN INTO YOU
FLOAT ON THE OCEAN BLUE * * FLOAT ON
THE OCEAN BLUE I AM MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER IN THE END *
* HE SAYS WATCH YOUR EGO WATCH YOUR HEAD GIRL YOU'RE SO SMART
SO TALENTED * * BUT NOW THE WATER'S TURNING RED
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT AND IT'S ALL YOUR MESS * * AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE
IF YOU GO TO BED TOO HIGH ON YOUR ADRENALINE YOU GOTTA GO SOMEWHERE *
* WHERE YOU CAN'T PRETEND GO FORGET THE RULES AND FORGET YOUR FRIENDS
JUST YOU AND * * YOUR REFLECTION CAUSE NOTHING'S GONNA
BE THE SAME AGAIN NO NOTHING'S GONNA * * BE THE SAME AGAIN *
* DESIRE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
* FLOAT ON THE OCEAN BLUE FLOAT ON
THE OCEAN BLUE * * HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: OH, COME ON! COME ON!
THANK YOU. CAROLINE POLACHEK! "DESIRE, I WANT TO TURN INTO
YOU," IS OUT NOW! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY. WOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
BRIAN COX, HEIDI GARDNER, MIKAELA SHIFFRIN. CAROLINE POLACHEK, ONCE AGAIN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THAT WAS AMAZING. AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE,
FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.