Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ANA de ARMAS
JESSE PLEMONS. COMEDIAN MIKE VECCHIONE. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1834
Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON.
NOW, THAT'S A HOT CROWD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
WELCOME! I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ENJOY YOURSELF ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU GUYS ARE HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE I LOVE YOU, JIMMY
Jimmy: GUYS - I LOVE YOU, TOO. WELL GUYS, TODAY IS--
[ CHEERS ] TODAY IS TAX DAY OH, YEAH
[ AUDIENCE BOOs NOW THAT'S-- IT'S ONE OF THOSE RARE DAYS WHEN YOUR BANK
ACCOUNT GOES DOWN, BUT TRUMP'S STAYS THE SAME YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE. WELL, THE BIG NEWS THAT I READ
ABOUT TODAY IS INTERESTING THE TRIAL WAS SET TO BEGIN FOR DOMINION VS. FOX NEWS, BUT THE
TWO PARTIES REACHED A SETTLEMENT YEAH, YOU CAN TELL FOX WAS
STRESSED ABOUT THE TRIAL 'CAUSE THEY SPENT THE DAY CHUGGING BUD LIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] LISTEN TO THIS - FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS
JUST TOOK HIS FEUD WITH DISNEY TO A NEW LEVEL BY THREATENING TO BUILD A COMPETING THEME PARK
OR EVEN A STATE PRISON NEXT TO DISNEY WORLD [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: YEAH Jimmy: I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS
THIS AD I JUST SAW LOOK AT THIS
RON DeSANTIS SAID HE WANTS TO
PUNISH DISNEY BY BUILDING A STATE PRISON OR THEME PARK RIGHT NEXT DOOR.
AND TO THAT WE SAY, WHY NOT BOTH BUSCH GARDENS!
[ LAUGHTER ] THEME PARK ON THE OUTSIDE, PRISON ON THE INSIDE
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I'D DO IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ [ APPLAUSE ] Steve: HE'S IN THE CAN.
Jimmy: DID YOU GUYS HEAR THIS TODAY A TODDLER CRAWLED THROUGH
THE FENCING OUTSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE. AT FIRST, SECRET SERVICE JUST
THOUGHT IT WAS PETE BUTTIGIEG. THEY'RE LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ]
"PETE, NO, GO THROUGH THERE. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] I MEAN, WE'RE LAUGHING, BUT
WHEN IT HAPPENED, ONE GUY WAS LIKE, "OPERATION BABY WAS A SUCCESS.
[ LAUGHTER ] THEY ACTUALLY WANTED TO INSTALL BABY GATES AROUND THE
WHITE HOUSE BUT BIDEN CAN'T FIGURE THEM OUT. HE'S LIKE, "WAIT, I GOT TO
PUSH--" [ LAUGHTER ] "PUSH IT DOWN AND THEN MOVE IT
I CAN'T. SOME MORE NEWS FROM WASHINGTON -
GEORGE SANTOS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S RUNNING FOR REELECTION
AND THEN A MINUTE LATER HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE WON. Steve: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HEY GUYS, I READ THAT THE CREATOR OF THE HASHTAG HAS
OFFICIALLY SIGNED OFF TWITTER AFTER HIS VERIFICATION CHECK MARK WAS REMOVED
YEAH, HE INVENTED THE HASHTAG. WELL, IT MUST BE A TOUGH TIME FOR HIM SO, TO CHEER HIM UP,
HERE'S OUR OWN HASHTAG THE PANDA, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ THERE IT IS, HASHTAG, NICE TO SEE YOU.
♪ [ APPLAUSE ] ♪
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE-- THANK YOU.
♪ THERE YOU GO ALL RIGHT, VERY GOOD
[ APPLAUSE ] I HOPE THAT-- I HOPE THAT CHEERED HIM UP
THAT WAS HASHTAG THE PANDA, EVERYBODY. ♪
NO, DON'T PLAY IT AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
[ APPLAUSE ]
♪ [ LAUGHTER ] WHO SAYS IT ISN'T GREAT TO BE
A WRITER HERE THE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW?" COME ON, IT'S--
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OH - ♪
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO DON'T PLAY IT AGAIN. ♪
SORRY, HASHTAG, SORRY, SORRY ♪ GUYS, GUYS, STOP
SORRY-- OKAY, WE'RE GOOD, WE'RE GOOD WE'RE GOOD
[ LAUGHTER ] NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE. GUYS GET THIS--
I FEEL SO BAD. Steve: DRENCHED IN SWEAT. Jimmy: GET THIS, GUYS
AMAZON PRIME IS ROLLING OUT A FEATURE THAT WILL ALLOW YOU TO BOOST THE DIALOGUE IN MOVIES
AND TV SHOWS SO YOU CAN HEAR IT OVER THE BACKGROUND MUSIC AND EFFECTS.
Steve: OOH. [ AUDIENCE OOHS Jimmy: YEAH
IN OTHER NEWS, APPARENTLY MY DAD GOT A JOB AT AMAZON. [ LAUGHTER ]
FINALLY, LIKE, WAY TO GO, DAD. [ APPLAUSE ] YOUR DREAM CAME TRUE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SOME MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, TODAY NETFLIX ANNOUNCED THAT
THEY ARE SHUTTING DOWN THEIR DVD RENTAL BUSINESS. [ LAUGHTER ]
I MISS NETFLIX DVDs. I LOVE GETTING THOSE "ARE YOU STILL WATCHING?" POSTCARDS IN
THE MAIL [ LAUGHTER ] I SAW THAT NEARLY HALF A
A BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF COCAINE WAS JUST FOUND FLOATING OFF THE COAST OF ITALY
[ SCATTERED LAUGHTER ] IT'S ITALIAN COCAINE, SO YOU JUST SPRINKLE IT OVER YOUR
PASTA. [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, EVERYONE'S TALKING
ABOUT HOW IT DOESN'T COMPARE TO THE COCAINE THEIR GRANDMA USED TO MAKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, IT IS TUESDAY.
IT IS TIME FOR WETWEET HERE WE GO
♪ WETWEET
WETWEET ♪ Jimmy: NOW, WELCOME TO WETWEET.
THIS IS WHERE WE, AS A GROUP, DECIDE SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD POST ON TWITTER.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU FIVE DIFFERENT TWEETS WE'RE ALL GOING TO VOTE ON
WHETHER YOU LIKE EACH ONE OR NOT. YOU ALL HAVE VOTING CLICKERS AT
YOUR SEATS YOU CAN VOTE FOR ALL OF THEM YOU CAN VOTE FOR NONE OF THEM.
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE RESULTS LIVE
WE HAVE A GRAPHIC THAT MOVES UP AND DOWN AND EVERYTHING. Steve: OOH, CLASSY.
Jimmy: IT'S HIGH-TECHNOLOGY THIS-- WE SPENT ALL OF OUR MONEY ON THIS TECHNOLOGY
Steve: ON THIS HERE Jimmy: YEAH, VOTING TECHNOLOGY
WE'RE THE ONLY SHOW-- Steve: IN THE UNIVERSE. Jimmy: WELL -
Steve: IN THIS BUILDING AT THIS TIME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
ON THIS DAY. Jimmy: YES, THANK YOU - - THAT IS DOING THIS
TECHNOLOGY HIGGINS, ROOTS, YOU ALL HAVE CLICKERS
Steve: GOT 'EM. Jimmy: WHATEVER YOU TWEET WILL GET THE MOST LIKES.
AND WE'LL TWEET IT OUT LIVE ON THE SHOW, SO THAT YOU ALL CAN LIKE IT AT HOME AND WETWEET IT
[ AUDIENCE GROANS IT'S A SHARED EXPERIENCE ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS, YOU READY
FOR THIS HERE WE GO OUR FIRST TWEET IS, "TWITTER IS
TIKTOK FOR READERS." ♪ Steve: WOW.
Jimmy: IT'S A THINKER THERE Steve: YEAH Jimmy: IF YOU WANT TO READ
SOMETHING FUNNY-- Steve: YEAH, YOU GOTTA GO TO TWITTER.
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU GO ON TWITTER. Steve: IF YOU WANT TO WATCH
SOMETHING, YOU GO TO TIKTOK. Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT, THANK YOU.
Steve: SO, THEREFORE-- Jimmy: THAT'S-- THAT'S FOR-- YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK HERE. [ DRUMROLL ] I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS ONE'S GOING TO DO BUT LET'S LOOK AT THE RESULTS. COME ON.
OOH, GOD [ SAD TUBA ] OVERWHELMING NO.
NO THANKS ON THAT. Steve: NO, THANK YOU. Jimmy: "NO, THANK YOU" ON
THAT ONE Steve: THEY PREFER NOT TO READ
Jimmy: HOW IS HASHTAG DOING IS HE OKAY ♪
NO, DON'T PLAY THAT. ALL RIGHT, GOOD. THERE YOU GO
ALL RIGHT. [ SCATTERED CHEERS ] THIS NEXT ONE HERE SAYS "YOU
CAN'T HAVE BOTH A TOE RING AND A JOB AT THE SAME TIME." [ LAUGHTER ]
♪ ONE OR THE OTHER Steve: YEAH, CHOOSE
Jimmy: ONE OR THE OTHER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE VERY DANGEROUS, THOSE
TOE RINGS. Steve: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'VE HEARD
Jimmy: BE CAREFUL [ DRUMROLL ] LET'S SEE THE RESULTS ON THIS
TOE RING ONE ALL RIGHT, NOT BAD Steve: OH
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NOW I KNOW THEY WORK Steve: WOW, YEAH. Jimmy: NOW I KNOW THE
CLICKERS WORK. Steve: THOUGHT THEY WERE BROKEN
Jimmy: THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO HONEST. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
THIS NEXT ONE HERE SAYS "WHEN SHRIMP HEAR THE WORDS 'SHRIMP COCKTAIL,' THEY MUST BE SO
EXCITED. AND WHEN THEY SEE A SHRIMP COCKTAIL THEY MUST BE SO
TERRIFIED. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Steve: "OH, COCKTAIL?
YES. Jimmy: "WHY NOT?" Steve: "ALL RIGHT, I'D LOVE
TO." Jimmy: "IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE."
Steve: "OH, MY GOD. Jimmy: "OH, MIKE! HENRY!
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Steve: "FIVE OF MY FRIENDS! Jimmy: LET'S SEE THE RESULTS
HERE [ DRUMROLL ] I THINK THIS ONE IS GOING TO
BE - Steve: OH, WOW. Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S IT RIGHT
THERE! ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S GOOD! Steve: WOW. Jimmy: THAT ONE'S IN THE
LEAD, THAT'S GOOD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOT BAD.
LET'S TRY THIS ONE HERE. NEXT UP SAYS, "WHENEVER AN AUTOMATIC PAPER TOWEL DISPENSER
IN THE BATHROOM DOESN'T WORK, THERE'S ALWAYS HALF A SECOND WHERE I THINK I'M A GHOST.
[ LAUGHTER ] ♪ I LIKE THAT.
IT'S LIKE-- ♪ [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
♪ Steve: "I MUST BE A GHOST"? Jimmy: YEAH
ALL RIGHT. [ DRUMROLL ] LET'S SEE THE RESULTS HERE
ALL RIGHT, OKAY. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] HEY, VERY HONEST-- VERY HONEST
AUDIENCE THEY DON'T LIKE IT [ SAD TUBA ]
THANK YOU, TUBA. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, TUBA.
Steve: THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS Jimmy: YEAH, THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS
HERE WE GO OUR LAST ONE HERE SAYS "IT'S NOT BUTTER, IT'S NOT SCOTCH--
WHAT THE HELL FLAVOR IS BUTTERSCOTCH?" [ CHEERS ]
Steve: A LOT OF SCOTCH DRINKERS Jimmy: I THINK IT WAS THE
DELIVERY ON THAT, THAT REALLY HELPED "WHAT THE HELL FLAVOR IS
BUTTERSCOTCH?" Steve: "YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK--
Jimmy: "IT AIN'T BUTTER, IT AIN'T SCOTCH WHAT THE HELL FLAVOR IS
BUTTERSCOTCH?" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LET'S SEE THE-- I THINK I HAVE
A GOOD FEELING THERE Steve: YOU'VE-- I DO TOO I THINK THIS COULD BE NUMBER
ONE. Jimmy: IT'S GOING TO BE THIS ONE, RIGHT
WAIT, WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE THAT WAS CLOSE Audience: SHRIMP.
Steve: SHRIMP WAS 149 Jimmy: OH, I LIKE SHRIMP BETTER, I THINK.
Steve: I THINK IT WAS 149 Jimmy: I ALMOST DON'T WANT TO SEE THE RESULTS
Steve: WELL, YOU SOLD THIS ONE SO HARD. Jimmy: I DID.
[ DRUMROLL ] "WHAT THE HELL IS BUTTERSCOTCH?"
LET'S SEE THE RESULTS ON BUTTERSCOTCH Steve: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ Jimmy: WOW.
Steve: WHOA Jimmy: THAT'S NOT BAD [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
THANK YOU VERY - [ BELL DINGS ] THERE YOU GO, RIGHT THERE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'M GOING TO POST THIS DURING
THE COMMERCIAL BREAK IF YOU SEE IT ON YOUR FEED, GIVE IT A LIKE, GIVE IT
A WETWEET, AND ENJOY THAT'S FUN FINALLY, GUYS, THERE'S A
A STAIRWELL HERE IN 30 ROCK ON YOUR WAY INTO BUILDING AND EVERY TIME I'M WALKING INTO
IT, IT HAS GREAT ACOUSTICS IT JUST SOUNDS GOOD. AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT'D BE
FUN TO DO SOME SORT OF MUSICAL PERFORMANCE THERE. SO, EARLIER TODAY, WE GOT THE
JONAS BROTHERS, SOME BACK-UP SINGERS-- [ SCREAMS
AND A FEW OF THE ROOTS TO PERFORM THEIR NEW SONG "WAFFLE HOUSE" ON THAT
STAIRCASE. THIS IS MUSICAL STAIRS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHECK IT OUT
♪ HEY NOW
WE NEVER KNEW HOW TO FORFEIT HEY NO WE ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO TALK ♪
♪ HEY NOW COUPLE NIGHTS THREW GASOLINE ON THE FIRE ♪
♪ HEY NOW WE NEVER HOW TO PERFECT ♪ HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS KNE IT WOULD WORK 'CAUSE ♪ ♪ IF SOMETHING MISREA
OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID OH BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪ ♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED
IT'S GON' GET FIGURED OU OH DEEP CONVERSATION AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪ ♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS
WE'D TRY T KILL EACH OTHER ♪ ♪ BUT YOU KNO
IT'S ALWAYS LOVE HEY NOW ♪ ♪ WE NEVER KNEW
HOW TO FAKE IT HEY NOW ♪ ♪ WE ALWAYS KNE
HOW TO BREAK HEY NOW ♪ ♪ COUPLE NIGHTS
THREW GASOLINE ON THE FIRE ♪ ♪ 'CAUS
IF SOMETHING MISREAD OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪
♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S GON' GET FIGURED OU OH DEEP CONVERSATION
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪ ♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE'D TRY T KILL EACH OTHER ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOV NA NA NA OH YEA
NA NA NA NA NA ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOV NA NA NA
HEY YEAH NA NA NA NA NA ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAY
GON' GET FIGURED OUT CONVERSATION AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪ ♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS
WE'D TRY TO KILL EACH OTHE BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA ♪ HEY YEAH NA NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪ YEAH. HEY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, RIGHT
THERE! MY THANKS TO THE JONAS BROTHERS
THEIR NEW ALBUM "THE ALBUM" IS AVAILABLE MAY 12th WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
ANA de ARMAS IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YES!
JESSE PLEMONS IS JOINING US! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE'VE GOT GREAT STANDUP
FROM MIKE VECCHIONE. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
ANA de ARMAS, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
Jimmy: READY?
HERE WE GO WAIT, SLOW, SLOW. Jimmy: SO-- YEAH
♪
OSCAR-NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS ALONGSIDE CHRIS EVANS IN THE NEW MOVIE, "GHOSTED," WHICH
PREMIERS GLOBALLY, THIS FRIDAY, ON APPLE TV PLUS
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME, ANA de ARMAS
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: ANA, IT'S SO GREAT TO
SEE YOU. YOU SEE, AFTER "SNL" I DANCE.
Jimmy: YEAH NOW YOU-- YEAH, I MEAN-- I WORK IN THIS BUILDING NOW
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NOW YOU-- YOU HAVE AN ID HERE
NOW, YOU WERE GREAT HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," BY THE WAY.
THANK YOU Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS, THAT WAS FANTASTIC.
THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU MENTIONED IN YOUR
MONOLOGUE THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A U.S. CITIZEN. I AM.
Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. YEAH. IT'S PRETTY COOL
Jimmy: YOU'RE GONNA BE A U.S. CITIZEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH. Jimmy: IT'S A BIG DEAL. YEAH, IT'S A BIG DEAL
I LOVE IT. YEAH IT'S VERY SPECIAL.
Jimmy: WELL, IT'S BEEN SUCH A-- A YEAR FOR YOU. 'CAUSE NOT ONLY "SNL," AND NOT
ONLY, OF COURSE, CITIZENSHIP, BUT YOU ALSO WERE NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR
YEAH. Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS FOR THAT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL DESERVED. THANK YOU
Jimmy: WELL DESERVED. YOU'RE SO GREAT IN "BLONDE." Jimmy: HOW DID IT FEEL?
WHAT WERE THE OSCARS-- WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE DID YOU-- WAS IT AMAZING?
WAS IT - IT WAS-- IT WAS AMAZING. Jimmy: YEAH
IT WAS-- IT WAS ALSO AN EXPERIENCE THAT YOU CAN ONLY, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO EX-- YOU
HAVE TO BE THERE TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. IT WAS PRETTY SURREAL.
Jimmy: YEAH AND DID-- IT WAS AWESOME.
Jimmy: AND DID YOU END UP MEETING NEW FRIENDS? DID YOU SIT AT A FUN TABLE
A LOT OF PEOPLE YOU MEET A LOT OF PEOPLE ALL THESE ACTORS THAT YOU'VE
ALWAYS BEEN, YOU KNOW, LOOKING UP TO AND ADMIRING THEIR WORK. THERE WAS ONE IN PARTICULAR
THAT I WAS VERY, VERY HAPPY TO MEET Jimmy: YEAH, AND THIS IS KE
KE. Jimmy: KE HUY QUAN. YEAH.
Jimmy: HOW DID YOU MEET HIM AT FIRST I MET HIM-- I WAS AT THE
GOVERNOR'S BALL. Jimmy: YEP. AND HE CAME TO ME
AND I WAS BY MYSELF. AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS AND HE ASKED ME FOR A SELFIE
AND THEN, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, IF YOU SEEN HIS INSTAGRAM, HE POSTS SELFIES WITH EVERYBODY
AND MY BOYFRIEND SAW THE SELFIE AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,
YOU MET KE." AND I'M LIKE, "YEAH. WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HE'S LIKE, "HE'S DATA FROM 'THE GOONIES.'" [ LAUGHTER AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT?
Jimmy: HE IS! YEAH, I KNOW. BUT, I GREW UP-- LIKE, FOR
SOME REASON, IN CUBA, THEY WOULD PLAY "THE GOONIES" ALL THE TIME ON TV
LIKE, THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES EVER GROWING UP
Jimmy: REALLY AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT KE WAS THE GUY FROM "THE GOONIES.
Jimmy: YEAH, HE WAS A KID AT THE TIME YEAH
NOW HE'S A MAN AND THIS SELFIE WAS SO HORRIBLE
I'M SO SERIOUS BECAUSE I'M LIKE-- I DON'T KNOW
Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T KNOW-- YOU DIDN'T KNOW HIM. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW.
I DIDN'T GET EXCITED Jimmy: BUT THEN YOU SAW HIM AGAIN.
I SAW HIM AND I WAS LIKE-- I RAN TO HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "I NEED
A SELFIE WITH YOU. Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, RIGHT AND THEN I WAS VERY, VERY
HAPPY, OF COURSE Jimmy: WELL-- WELL, I HAVE TWO PICTURES
I HAVE TWO SELFIES HERE'S THE ONE THAT HE TOOK WHEN YOU DIDN'T REALLY
RECOGNIZE HIM. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN HERE'S THE ONE AFTER
YOU WENT UP TO HIM YOU'RE LIKE-- YES
Jimmy:-- "OH, YEAH HEY. [ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH. Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT-- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW
MOVIE, "GHOSTED. YES Jimmy: IT'S WITH
CHRIS EVANS, WHO, GOSH, HE'S JUST FANTASTIC HE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT
I SAW IT. YEAH Jimmy: YOU GUYS ARE GREAT
TOGETHER THIS IS YOUR THIRD MOVIE YOU'VE DONE TOGETHER.
YEAH, THIRD MOVIE TOGETHER. Jimmy: "KNIVES OUT. YEAH, WE MADE A "KNIVES OUT"
AND "GRAY MAN. Jimmy: "GRAY MAN. AND NOW, "GHOSTED."
Jimmy: YEAH, SO YOU'VE-- YOU'VE THROWN UP ON HIM IN "KNIVES OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU'VE KILLED-- YOU'VE SHOT HIM.
YES, I SHOT HIM IN THE BUTT Jimmy: YES. AND NOW YOU--
THREW UP-- THREW UP ON HIS FACE AND IN THIS ONE I'M TRYING
TO-- I, WELL, I KISS HIM. I'M NICE TO HIM. Jimmy: YOU SAVE HIM
I SAVE HIM. Jimmy: YOU SAVE HIS LIFE. EVEN BETTER
Jimmy: YEAH YEAH. YEAH
Jimmy: THE IDEA-- I LOVE IT IT'S BASICALLY YOU GUYS, TWO
BEAUTIFUL LOOKING PEOPLE, MEET, AND THEY-- THEY GO, "OH, LET'S GO ON A,
MAYBE, A DATE. SO THEY GO ON A DATE, AND THEN YOU GHOST HIM.
WELL, I'M WORKING Jimmy: YEAH, BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT.
HE DOESN'T KNOW. AND SO, HE GOES, "WAIT." SO HE GOT GHOSTED BY YOU
YEAH. Jimmy: HE'S LIKE-- BUT THEN HE REALIZES-- HE FORGOT THAT
YOU HAVE HIS - I GOT HIS INHALER, WHICH HAS ONE OF THOSE TAGS.
Jimmy: HE PUT AN APPLE TAG ON IT. YEAH.
Jimmy: SO HE CAN TRACK YOU. AND HE'S LIKE, "WAIT, I'M GOING TO FIND OUT, MAYBE IT WILL BE
ROMANTIC SHE'S IN LONDON. I'LL GO SURPRISER HER AND BE
LIKE, "HI, REMEMBER-- DON'T DO THAT PEOPLE. DON'T SHOW UP.
Jimmy: IT'S CALLED STALKING DON'T DO THAT, YEAH. DON'T DO THAT
Jimmy: DON'T DO THAT. YEAH BUT HE'S EMBARRASSED
HE'S LIKE, "ALL RIGHT. I TOOK IT TOO FAR. I TEXTED HER TOO MUCH, THAT'S
WHY SHE'S GHOSTING ME. THEN HE FINDS OUT YOU'RE A A SECRET AGENT
YEAH. Jimmy: YOU'RE A SPY YEAH.
Jimmy: AND YOU ARE A KICK ASS SPY. YOU'RE FANTASTIC IN IT
I TRY YEAH Jimmy: YEAH
YOU DO, YEAH I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ANA de ARMAS AND
CHRIS EVANS IN "GHOSTED" ON APPLE TV PLUS. TAKE A LOOK.
DIDN'T I ESPECIALLY THAT SOB STORY ABOUT
YOUR COWORKER THAT DIED. THAT IS LOW. THAT WAS ACTUALLY TRUE.
HER NAME WAS ELENA AND SHE REALLY DIED I MAY HAVE KILLED HER
WHAT? SHE WAS AN ENEMY AGENT. SHE WORKED FOR THESE GUYS.
YOU SAID SHE WAS A COWORKER SHE WAS IN A LOOSE SENSE
SEE, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. IT'S JUST LIES AND LIES, AND
MORE LIES. IT'S NOT LIES AND MORE LIES IT'S THE SUB-LIE OF THE FIRST
ORIGINAL LIE YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "GHOSTED." ANA de ARMAS
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAMS IS MY
ICE CREAM. YOUR ICE CREAM. Jimmy: WHICH IS THE TONIGHT
DOUGH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND SO, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH.
AND THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIG YEAR BY MAYBE HAVING A SPOON FULL
TOGETHER LISTEN, IF YOU GIVE ME ICE CREAM EVERY TIME I COME HERE -
Jimmy: I WILL BUT I'M GONNA DO ONE BETTER. OH, OKAY.
Jimmy: BECAUSE YOU SAID, ACTUALLY, IF YOU WANTED TO CHANGE THE FLAVOR-- YOU WERE
LIKE, "WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" YOU GO, "MAYBE I'D ADD A A LITTLE--" >> CONDENSED MILK
Jimmy: CONDENSED MILK WELL, OUR FRIENDS AT BEN & JERRY'S HEARD THIS, AND WANTED
TO SEND YOU A MESSAGE. TAKE A LOOK.
I'M BEN. I'M JERRY WE WERE SO EXCITED TO HEAR THAT
BEN & JERRY'S, THE TONIGHT DOUGH, IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM.
WE LOVE THAT YOU'RE A FAN AND CAME UP WITH SOMETHING IN OUR KITCHEN FOR A SPECIAL
ONE-DAY ONLY, ONE-TIME ONLY SURPRISE JIMMY, CAN YOU SHOW ANA WHAT
WE CAME UP WITH? Jimmy: SINCE IT WAS A DREAM OF YOURS TO HAVE YOUR OWN
FLAVOR, WE'D LIKE TO MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE HE'S YOUR SPECIAL ONE-TIME ONLY
ANA de ARMAS LECHE [ LAUGHTER ] ♪
OH, MY GOSH Jimmy: YOU GOT TO TRY IT. IT'S CONDENSED MILK-- IT'S
CONDENSED MILK IN THE ICE CREAM. HERE'S THE RECIPE ON HOW TO
MAKE IT. THAT'S YOUR CONDENSED MILK, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE THERE.
LOOK, YOU CAN SEE IT OH, MY GOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: YEAH, THERE YOU GO THIS IS TOO MUCH. Jimmy: SO EVERYONE--
WE WANTED OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE TO JOIN IN ON THE CELEBRATION TOO.
SO EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE IS GOING HOME WITH SOME BEN & JERRY'S TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE DIRECTIONS TO MAKE IT ARE POSTED
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED. COME ON. BEN & JERRY'S.
OH, MY GOSH Jimmy: ANA de ARMAS COME ON, EVERYBODY
HER MOVIE, "GHOSTED," PREMIERS GLOBALLY, THIS FRIDAY ON APPLE TV PLUS.
ANA AND I ARE PLAYING A BRAND NEW GAME, WHEN WE COME BACK. STICK AROUND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
ACTUALLY, THE MAIN REASON FOR ME COMING AND DOING THIS SHOW, IS I HAVE SOMETHING THAT
I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. Jimmy: SURE AND I ALSO HAVE A BONE TO
PICK WITH YOU. Jimmy: OH Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. I'M HERE WITH ANA de ARMAS, RIGHT HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE ARE BACK TO FACE-OFF IN A
A NEW GAME CALLED "BACKTIONARY."
Jimmy: NOW, THIS IS LIKE
PICTIONARY WITH A TWIST, OKAY? NOW I'M GOING TO GRAB A CLUE THAT I HAVE TO DRAW ON YOUR
BACK, OKAY I'LL PUT A PIECE OF PAPER ON YOUR BACK.
AND WHILE I'M DRAWING, YOU TRY TO RECREATE WHAT I'M DRAWING ON THAT EASEL OVER THERE, WHILE
YOU'RE-- WHILE YOU'RE GUESSING WHAT I'M DRAWING OKAY.
Jimmy: OKAY YOU READY FOR THIS LET'S TRY ROUND ONE.
AUDIENCE, WHAT CLUE? FOUR! [ AUDIENCE SHOUTING ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
OKAY I THINK WE CAN DO THIS ALL RIGHT, TURN AROUND, I WILL
PUT THE-- I'LL PUT THIS ON. OH, THIS ONE? OH, I'LL HAVE THE BIG ONE.
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'LL HAVE THE BIG MARKER THERE OKAY
OKAY. Jimmy: READY? OH, MY GOD.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, YOU READY, BUD? I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE--
OKAY READY? HERE WE GO
WAIT, SLOW, SLOW. Jimmy: SO-- YEAH, YEAH I HAVEN'T STARTED YET.
♪ [ LAUGHTER ] ♪
[ SCATTERED CHEERS ] ♪ OH.
Jimmy: YES. ♪ HOW MUCH TIME?
THAT? [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: YES, WHAT'D YOU
THINK? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHAT'S YOUR GUESS?
IS IT-- IT'S A - I DON'T KNOW [ BUZZER ]
Jimmy: WHAT'D YOU GUESS WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE THAT'S FANTASTIC, BETTER THAN
WHAT I DREW. THIS-- YOURS IS BETTER THAN WHAT I DREW.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] DUNNO WHAT I DREW. [ DINGS
LIGHTNING BOLT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LIGHTNING BOLT.
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH Jimmy: IT'S THUNDER AND
LIGHTNING BOLT, RIGHT? THAT WAS GOOD. YEAH.
Jimmy: LET'S GET A-- NOW, ALL RIGHT-- OKAY.
Jimmy: LET'S TRY AGAIN. TARIQ, WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT
Tariq: BECAUSE SHE-- HOW IS HER'S BETTER THAN YOURS? [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT DOESN'T MATTER. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
WHATEVER, IT WAS THE FIRST ROUND. OKAY, WHAT CLUE SHOULD SHE
PICK [ AUDIENCE SHOUTING SIX
SIX? Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, I'M NOT GONNA LOOK
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTING I'M NOT LOOKING, NOT LOOKING NO CHEATING, NO CHEATING, I'M
NOT LOOKING. I LIKE IT Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH. Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY OKAY.
Jimmy: WE GOT THIS? YEAH. YEAH
OKAY ♪ Jimmy: WAIT WHAT?
DO-- DO IT AGAIN. SORRY. SORRY, SORRY.
Jimmy: SORRY, DO IT AGAIN ♪ WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] HOW--? HOW ARE YOU FEELING THAT
Jimmy: I HAVE-- IT'S FEELING FANTASTIC. I-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M
FEELING RIGHT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] UH -
[ LAUGHTER ] UH, I DON'T KNOW UHH--
[ BUZZER ] OH, WOW. WAIT, I'M NOT DONE.
Jimmy: OH, WELL, I THINK ONE OF US IS [ LAUGHTER ]
DO IT ONE MORE TIME. YES, OKAY. I THINK THERE'S A HEART ON
THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
I'M GOING TO SAY A CLOCK A CLOCK. WHAT-- WAS I REMOTELY CLOSE
I GOT LOST OH. WELL, THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
A CLOCK. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: IT DOES AT MY HOUSE.
WAS I REMOTELY CLOSE I GOT LOST Jimmy: OH, IT'S A BUTTERFLY
OH, A MUCH NICER THING OH, I'M SORRY. [ SAD TUBA ]
I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT. [ APPLAUSE ] YOU'RE COVERING YOUR--
Jimmy: MINE WAS TERRIBLE. [ AIR HORN ] [ AIR HORN ]
OOH, BYEW BYEW BYEW. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND MEANS, IT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR THE
FINAL ROUND. OKAY. Jimmy: OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO
SHAKE THINGS UP HERE QUEST, YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A A HAND OVER HERE
Questlove: YES. Jimmy: NOW-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FOR THIS ROUND, WE'RE PLAYING TRIPLE BACKTIONARY OKAY.
Jimmy: ANA, YOU WILL DRAW ON MY BACK, AND I WILL DRAW ON QUEST'S BACK, THEN HE DRAW ON
HIS EASEL. IF HE GUESSES WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DRAW, WE ALL WIN.
Questlove: IT'LL BE A A MIRACLE. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH. Jimmy: IT'LL BE A MIRACLE, EXACTLY RIGHT.
OKAY. Jimmy: ANA, PICK A CLUE WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTING TEN OKAY
Jimmy: OKAY, LETS - NO, YOU GOT THAT Questlove: OKAY
Jimmy: OH, ALL RIGHT. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] OKAY, WAIT
Questlove: THEY SAID, "AW." Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW, IT MUST BE LIKE A PUPPY OR SOMETHING
OKAY Questlove: ALL RIGHT. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
ANA, I'M TRUSTING YOU ON THIS. YEP. UH, I MEAN, YOU CAN'T GET
THIS WRONG Jimmy: OH ♪
[ LAUGHTER ] OH. ♪
Jimmy: ARE WE DONE? Questlove: YOU GOTTA DO IT -
WAIT, ARE YOU DOING IT Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW ♪
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ] ♪
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WAIT,
DO IT AGAIN! I'M DONE. Jimmy: NO, NOT YOU, QUEST
NO, QUEST, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [ LAUGHTER ] Questlove: I'M DOING WHAT
YOU'RE DOING [ BUZZER ] Jimmy: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU
DRAWING? DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING Questlove: NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO DO IT AGAIN. Jimmy: ONE MORE TIME.
ONE MORE TIME. Questlove: DO IT AGAIN. DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN
Jimmy: DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN. I MEAN, MINE IS PRETTY BAD
TOO. Jimmy: GO OKAY.
♪ [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH
OH OH, WAIT, WAIT IS IT THAT
YES WELL, I DO MORE-- YEAH. MINE IS DIFFERENT, BUT YES,
THAT'S THE IDEA. ♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ DINGS Jimmy: IT WAS "SUN.
Questlove: OH Jimmy: SUN! YES
Questlove: OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING A FLOWER. OKAY
THAT'S NOT A GOOD SUN, BUT-- Jimmy: WHAT DOES IT SAY
"QUESTLOVE HAS A NEW BOOK OUT NOW. THERE YOU GO, RIGHT THERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SO IT MEANS THE WINNER IS QUESTLOVE.
ANA'S NEW MOVIE-- ANA de ARMAS, "GHOSTED" PREMIERS ON APPLE TV+ THIS
FRIDAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"TONIGHT SHOW. ♪ I THOUGHT WE WERE--
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN
OSCAR-NOMINATED ACTOR STARRING IN THE NEW LIMITED SERIES, "LOVE & DEATH," WHICH DEBUTS
THURSDAY, APRIL 27th ON HBO MAX. PLEASE WELCOME, JESSE PLEMONS.
MAX. PLEASE WELCOME, JESSE PLEMONS.
♪ ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: IT IS SO NICE TO SEE YOU!
GOOD TO SEE YOU Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. THANKS FOR COMING ON
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME Jimmy: JESSE, YOU-- I KNOW YOU'RE MARRIED TO A GOOD FRIEND
OF OURS, I LOVE HER SO MUCH. KIRSTEN DUNST, VERY TALENTED ACTRESS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND YOU HAVE TWO LITTLE BABIES HOW OLD ARE THE KIDS
OUR OLDEST IS ALMOST 5, OUR YOUNGEST JUST TURNED 2, A FEW DAYS AGO
Jimmy: AW, SO CUTE. AND ACTUALLY, THE MAIN REASON FOR ME COMING AND DOING
THIS SHOW, IS I HAVE SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
Jimmy: SURE I WANT TO THANK YOU Jimmy: YOU WANT TO THANK ME
I WANT TO THANK YOU, AND I ALSO HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.
Jimmy: OH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT NO, KIRSTEN WAS ON THE
SHOW A WHILE AGO - Jimmy: YEAH-- THIS WAS, I THINK, BEFORE
OUR OLDEST WAS BORN. AND YOU SENT A COUPLE OF YOUR BOOKS.
"YOUR BABIES FIRST WORD WILL BE MAMA." Jimmy: YES.
AND THE "DADA" BOOK Jimmy: YES, THAT'S RIGHT. AND THEY PROVIDED SOME, YOU
KNOW, GREAT TIMES FOR US WE REALLY ENJOYED THEM AND THEY'RE-- THEY'RE FOR
YOUNG KIDS, RIGHT, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? Jimmy: OH YEAH, THEY'RE FOR
YEAH - AND - [ LAUGHTER ]
- OUR KID-- OUR KID IS 5 NOW-- Jimmy: YEAH
- AND ALL HE WANTS TO READ IS "MAMA" AND "DADA" BOOK. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK THAT'S FANTASTIC. [ LAUGHTER ]
NO, IT IS - Jimmy: BUT HE'S 5 HE'S 5.
Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S PROBABLY - AND NOW I'M WORRIED ABOUT,
YOU KNOW, HIS-- HIS PROGRESS. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, HE NEEDS TO--
TAKE ANOTHER - YEAH, BUT - Jimmy:-- ANOTHER LEVEL
TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL NO, THE "DADA" BOOKS WERE GREAT--
WAIT, I KIND OF KNOW THE BONE YOU'RE ABOUT TO PICK, YEAH YOU'RE TIRED OF THE BOOK
I'M TIRED OF THE BOOK Jimmy: YEAH, I UNDERSTAND, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
I UNDERSTAND [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THAT'S WHY I WROTE THIS
BOOK, BECAUSE I WAS READING, YOU KNOW, THE SAME BOOKS YOU ALWAYS READ TO THE KIDS AND YOU
GO, "I CAN'T READ IT AGAIN I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY. IT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF BABY
SHARK, THIS BOOK, IT'S LIKE-- [ LAUGHTER ] YOU-- YOU -
Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO NO, IN A GOOD WAY Jimmy: OH, OKAY
IN A GOOD WAY IT'S LIKE HE CRACKED SOME CHILD'S MIND CODE--
Jimmy: YEAH THAT WAS-- I VERY-- I GOT VERY LUCKY WITH THAT BOOK,
"DADA. IT'S A VERY GOOD BOOK, BUT PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER BOOK.
PLEASE Jimmy: I-- I ACTUALLY-- I ACTUALLY DID, AND I WANT TO
GIVE IT TO YOU THIS IS-- DO YOU HAVE THIS? I KNOW-- "NANA.
[ LAUGHTER ] "NANA." Jimmy: "NANA LOVES YOU
MORE." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE-- THIS ONE-- THIS IS
THE ONE. I'M EXCITED, AND I'M A LITTLE SCARED.
Jimmy: NO, NO, I KNOW-- I KNOW KIRSTEN'S MOM, AND SO I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE
THIS-- SHE'S GOING TO LOVE THIS THIS IS A GOOD ONE
THERE'S MORE WORDS [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S GREAT.
Jimmy: IT'S MORE-- IT'S MORE WORDS, YEAH I'M TAKING BABIES-- WE'RE
GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER. I'M WRITING MORE AND MORE. ALL RIGHT
I'M EXCITED. Jimmy: I WANT YOU TO COME ON EVERY YEAR AND SEE MY PROGRESS
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, OKAY, GOOD. Jimmy: THANK YOU, JESSE, I
APPRECIATE THAT. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS NEW LIMITED SERIES, "LOVE & DEATH.
IT'S YOU AND ELIZABETH OLSEN, AND IT'S JUST CRUSH-- IS IT DAVID E. KELLEY?
DAVID E. KELLEY, DIRECTED BY LESLI LINKA GLATTER. Jimmy: JUST CRUSHES, MAN.
YEAH. Jimmy: THIS IS A BIZARRE STORY-- IT'S A TRUE STORY
AND DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE WHAT THE-- THE-- THE "LOVE & DEATH" PART, MAYBE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, WELL WE-- WE SORT OF LET YOU KNOW RIGHT OUT OF THE
GATE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO. THERE'S A-- AS JIMMY SAID, IT TAKES PLACE-- IT'S A TRUE
STORY. IT TAKES PLACE IN THE LATE 70s IN THE SUBURB OF DALLAS, THESE
LIKE, YOU KNOW, FAMILY ORIENTED, CHURCH GOING FOLKS THAT ARE KIND OF ALL CHASING
THE AMERICAN DREAM, AND, ON THE SURFACE, THINGS SEEM TO BE, YOU KNOW, WORKING OUT WELL
AND MY CHARACTER, ALLAN GORE, IS FRIENDS WITH THIS-- WITH LIZZIE'S CHARACTER
AND THEY PLAY-- THEY PLAY IN THIS CHURCH VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE. AND, AT A CERTAIN POINT,
THEY'RE BOTH GOING FOR THE SAME BALL, AND LIZZIE'S CHARACTER CATCHES MY CHARACTER'S SCENT
AND IN THAT MOMENT THINKS, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AN AFFAIR
WITH THAT GUY. AND-- AND THEN THAT'S HOW THE SHOW -
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT-- THAT-- THAT'S THE LOVE PART
THAT'S THE LOVE PART. AND THEN, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO WATCH TO FIND OUT THE OTHER
PART [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU HAVE TO WATCH TO FIND OUT THE OTHER PART
YOU CAN GOOGLE IT TOO. YES IT'S A VERY WELL KNOWN STORY
Jimmy: IT'S A TRUE-- IT'S A WELL-KNOWN STORY IT'S INSANE STORY, BUT WELL
ACTED. BEFORE WE SHOW A CLIP, I JUST WANT TO SAY-- I THINK I WANT
TO SAY THAT YOU WERE IN MAYBE SIX OR SEVEN MOVIES THAT WERE NOMINATED FOR OSCARS
AND I THINK THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT YOU'RE FANTASTIC, BUDDY.
THANK YOU Jimmy: YOU REALLY - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S JESSE PLEMONS AND ELIZABETH OLSEN IN "LOVE &
DEATH. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE MYSELF IF BETTY EVER FOUND OUT.
THAT WOULD JUST BE DEVASTATING TO HER I FEEL THE SAME
WE WOULD HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL THAT NO ONE WOULD NEVER KNOW, EXCEPT US.
THAT'S RIGHT. I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT JUST
WANTING TO GO TO BED, NOT GETTING TOO EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED AND SO FORTH.
THAT WOULD BE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME ME TOO, ALLAN
GOD, I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MYSELF-- WITHOUT HURTING MYSELF OR ANYONE ELSE.
Jimmy: WHOA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JESSE PLEMONS, EVERYBODY
"LOVE & DEATH" DEBUTS APRIL 27th ON HBO MAX. MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
HE HAS HIS COMEDY SPECIAL, "THE ATTRACTIVES," AVAILABLE NOW ON YOUTUBE, AND IT'S PROBABLY
GOING TO CRACK A MILLION TONIGHT.
PLEASE WELCOME, THE VERY FUNNY, MIKE VECCHIONE, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ THANK YOU, GUYS THANK YOU.
I'M SORRY I LOOK LIKE EVERY COP THAT'S BEEN IN TROUBLE ON THE NEWS
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M ACTUALLY A VERY NICE PERSON
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] PANDEMIC WAS TOUGH HEIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC, MY
FRIEND CALLS ME, HE'S LIKE, "MIKE, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO SPAIN THIS YEAR FOR RUNNING
WITH THE BULLS?" [ CHEERS ] I GO, "ISN'T THAT A LITTLE BIT
SOON?" REMEMBER LAST WEEK WHEN THE AIR ALMOST KILLED US
[ LAUGHTER ] REMEMBER FIVE DAYS AGO WE WERE ALMOST MURDERED BY THE AIR
NOW YOU WANT TO GO RUNNING WITH THE BULLS, WHICH I KNOW THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED, BUT THAT'S
NOT ACTUALLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOING. RUNNING WITH THE BULLS IMPLIES
THAT THE BULLS HAVE ACCEPTED YOU, AND YOU GUYS HAVE DECIDED TO EXERCISE TOGETHER
[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOING IS RUNNING FROM THE BULLS.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE, RUNNING WITH, RUNNING FROM
EVERYONE IS SO FOCUSED ON PRONOUNS NOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD LOOK AT SOME OF THESE
PREPOSITIONS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU.
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT I HAD BEDBUGS RECENTLY AND BEDBUGS ARE UNIQUE, BECAUSE
THEY ATTACK YOU, AND ATTACK YOU, AND ATTACK YOU, UNTIL YOU BREAK YOUR LEASE
[ LAUGHTER ] THERE'S NO WAY TO STOP BEDBUGS I DID FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SLOW
THEM DOWN, THOUGH. I INTRODUCED LADYBUGS INTO MY APARTMENT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] NOW THE LADYBUGS DON'T KILL THE BEDBUGS, BUT THEY WEAR THEM
DOWN EMOTIONALLY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU.
LIVING WITH MY GIRL, AND IT'S GOING PRETTY GOOD. I DID MAKE A MISTAKE
WE'RE LAYING IN BED ONE NIGHT, I GO, "LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
ON THE COUNT OF THREE, LET'S BLURT OUT OUR IQs. NEVER DO THAT WITH YOUR
SIGNIFICANT PARTNER. ONE OF YOU IS DUMBER [ LAUGHTER ]
IN OUR CASE, IT WAS ME, AND I WAS MUCH DUMBER. SHOCKINGLY DUMBER.
TO THE POINT WHERE SHE SAW IT AFFECTED ME. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SHE TRIED TO SAVE IT, YOU KNOW, SHE LOVES ME SHE GOES, "MIKE, YOU HAVE
A MUCH LOWER IQ THAN I DO. EVEN YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT YOU HAVE THIS OTHER THING CALLED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE,
AND THAT'S PRETTY VALUABLE, TOO. I DID SOME RESEARCH, AND IT
TURNS OUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS COMPLETELY FAKE
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT SMART PEOPLE TELL DUMB PEOPLE, "YOU
HAVE THIS," SO THAT THE DUMB PEOPLE DON'T FEEL SAD. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEY HAVE TO DO THE JOBS THAT THE SMARTER PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO DO
AS A RESULT, MY JOBS IN THE APARTMENT ARE AS FOLLOWS, SANITATION AND EXTERMINATION,
BUGS AND TRASH THAT'S MY JOBS, BUGS AND TRASH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND SOMETIMES SHE'LL QUIZ ME SHE'LL GO, "WHAT ARE YOUR JOBS?"
I'LL GO, "BUGS AND TRASH." AND SHE'LL BE LIKE, "WHO'S MY GUY?
I GO, "I AM. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE HAD AN INCIDENT THE OTHER
DAY, THERE WAS A BUG IN THE BATHROOM AND THE REASON I KNOW THERE WAS
A BUG IN THE BATHROOM, WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND SHE STARTS GOING, "A BUG,
A BUG. IT'S A BUG THERE'S A BUG.
I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, CAR ALARM, I GOT IT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I GO HIT THE LIGHT, BUG FREEZES, I FREEZE, IT'S A STANDOFF
YOU KNOW, I TRY TO KILL THIS BUG THREE TIMES. THE LAST TIME I STEP DIRECTLY
ON HIM, SCOOP HIM UP WITH TOILET PAPER, HE'S WOUNDED BUT NOT DEAD
I THROW HIM IN THE TOILET, I FLUSH. THIS BUG STIFF ARMS THE TOILET
PAPER. [ LAUGHTER ] HE HEISMAN'S THE TOILET PAPER,
GETS TO THE SIDE OF THE BOWL, WOUNDED, STARTS CLIMBING OUT [ LAUGHTER ]
I SEE THAT, I BACK OUT OF THE BATHROOM [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I YELL TO HER, I GO, "IT'S ALL CLEAR, BABE. SHE GOES IN THE BATHROOM, SHE
POPS BACK OUT. SHE GOES, "HE'S ALIVE AND BETTER THAN EVER."
I GO, "LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BUG HE HAS MORE OF A WILL TO LIVE
THAN YOU AND ME COMBINED." [ LAUGHTER ] SHE GOES, "WELL GO BACK IN
THERE AND KILL HIM." I GO, "RELAX, THIS ISN'T A A MAFIA FAMILY
YOU DON'T JUST ORDER ME TO KILL." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THIS BUG HAS A LOT OF THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT I ADMIRE IN ANY LIVING THING.
THIS BUG IS MENTALLY TOUGH, OVERCOMES ADVERSITY, NEVER QUITS.
THIS BUG IS BASICALLY WHO I WANT TO BE AS A PERSON [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M NOT GOING TO GO IN THERE AND KILL MY ROLE MODEL [ LAUGHTER ]
HE JUST LIVES WITH US NOW. SHE GOES, "WELL, I'M AFRAID TO GO IN THE BATHROOM."
I GO, "WELL, YOU SHOULD BE, BECAUSE YOU ORDERED HIS DEATH THREE TIMES.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M SURE HE OVERHEARD YOU, BECAUSE THIS BUG PROBABLY
DOESN'T HAVE THE HIGHEST IQ, BUT I'M SURE HE'S GOT A LOT OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. I'M MIKE VECCHIONE
THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
Jimmy: COME ON, BUD THANKS, BUDDY Jimmy: MIKE VECCHIONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "THE ATTRACTIVES" IS AVAILABLE NOW ON YOUTUBE
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
Jimmy: MY THANKS TO ANA de ARMAS, JESSE PLEMONS, JONAS BROTHERS, MIKE VECCHIONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GOOD JOB, BUD. AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE,
FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE