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Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART

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00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:18,818
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON."

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00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:22,989
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AN
GUESTS -
MICHAEL STRAHAN,

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00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:26,493
JUDY BLUME
MUSICAL GUEST, BLACK THOUGHT
AND EL MICHELS AFFAIR FEATURING

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KIRBY,
AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW
Questlove: 1840

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00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:40,040
Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON

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♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,569
Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ENJOY YOURSELF, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME,

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00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:15,241
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU'RE HERE.

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THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
WELL, GUYS, THIS IS NICE,

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EARLIER TONIGHT, THE BIDEN'S
HOSTED THE PRESIDENT OF
SOUTH KOREA AND HIS WIFE FOR A

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A STATE DINNER AT THE WHITE HOUSE. YEAH

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BIDEN WANTED TO MEET THE MOST
POWERFUL PEOPLE IN SOUTH KOREA,
BUT BTS WAS BUSY

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
SO -
BUT THE-- BUT THE STATE DINNER

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WAS FUN.
THE SOUTH KOREAN PRESIDENT WAS
NODDING OFF BECAUSE OF THE JET

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LAG AND BIDEN WAS NODDING OFF
BECAUSE IT WAS 6:00 P.M.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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IT'S LATE.
IT'S LATE.
I SAW THAT THE GUESTS WERE

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SERVED MARYLAND CRAB CAKE,
FENNEL, AND CUCUMBER SLAW, AND
A YELLOW SQUASH SOUP

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[ CHEERS ]
THEN LIKE EVERY OTHER FANCY
MEAL, EVERYONE HIT UP

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A McDONALD'S IMMEDIATELY AFTER
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"CAN I GET A QUARTER POUNDER

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00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,525
STARVING."
WELL, PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT
THIS, TODAY, DISNEY FILED

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00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,160
A LAWSUIT AGAINST FLORIDA
GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS FOR
WAGING A, QUOTE, "RELENTLESS

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00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:15,068
CAMPAIGN TO WEAPONIZE
GOVERNMENT POWER AGAINST THE COMPANY.

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00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,671
YEAH
IN AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT, THE
HEAD OF DISNEY'S LEGAL TEAM

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SAID -
[ DONALD DUCK VOICE
WE WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THIS

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OUTRAGEOUS GOVERNMENT OVERREACH.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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Jimmy: WOW-- THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, DONALD
[ DONALD DUCK VOICE

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GO DUCK YOURSELF.
Jimmy: OH -
[ LAUGHTER ]

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♪
Steve: DUCK, DUCK
Jimmy: GO DUCK MY -

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Steve: GO DUCK YOURSELF
Jimmy: GO DUCK MYSELF
THAT'S RIGHT, DeSANTIS WILL BE

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REPRESENTED BY THE FLORIDA
ATTORNEY GENERAL, WHILE DISNEY
WILL BE REPRESENTED BY

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"SHE-HULK: ATTORNEY AT LAW."
[ LAUGHTER ]
DISNEY HADN'T-- HASN'T TAKEN

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A POLITICIAN TO COURT SINCE
THEY SUED JOHN BOLTON FOR
COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GEPPETTO
SPEAKING OF FLORIDA,

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GOVERNOR-- APPARENTLY FORMER
PRESIDENT TRUMP IS LISTENING TO
INSIDERS WHO ARE URGING HIM TO

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MAKE DeSANTIS HIS RUNNING MATE
[ AUDIENCE GROANS
I HAVE A FEELING ADDING

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DeSANTIS TO THE TICKET WILL BE
LIKE ADDING MENTOS TO DIET COKE

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
MEANWHILE, I READ THAT TRUMP IS
THREATENING TO SKIP THE

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REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES.
TRUMP WAS LIKE, "AS PEOPLE KEEP

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TELLING ME, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME
THAT."
A REPUBLICAN DEBATE WITHOUT

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TRUMP.
EVEN C-SPAN2 WAS LIKE, "PASS."
[ LAUGHTER ]

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WELL RIGHT NOW TRUMP HAS A LOT
GOING ON
HE'S GOT A NEW BOOK, HE'S ON

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THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, AND HE'S
STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION.
SO, TO FIND OUT HOW TRUMP'S

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FEELING ABOUT EVERYTHING, HE
ACTUALLY AGREED TO JOIN US FOR
AN INTERVIEW

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SO, LET'S ASK HIM A FEW
QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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MR. TRUMP, THANKS FOR DOING THIS
JIMMY KIMMEL.

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00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:11,251
[ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: CLOSE ENOUGH
NOW YOU-- YOU-- YOU'VE GOT A

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00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,587
A NEW BOOK OUT CALLED "LETTERS
TO TRUMP," HOW MUCH OF YOUR
BOOK DID YOU ACTUALLY READ

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00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:18,725
LIKE A PAGE OR TWO PAGES.
Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ]

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THE BOOK HAS A LOT OF LETTERS
FROM FAMOUS PEOPLE, LIKE OPRAH
AND KING CHARLES, WHAT WOULD

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YOU SAY IS YOUR FAVORITE LETTER
THE LETTER "C."

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[ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: NOW YOUR-- YOUR
RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN IS IN FULL

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00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,842
SWING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK AMERICANS SAY
WHEN THEY THINK ABOUT A REMATCH

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BETWEEN YOU AND BIDEN?
I WANT TO VAPE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:44,551
Steve: WOW!
Jimmy: OKAY, WELL BIDEN IS
LEADING YOU AMONG WOMEN,

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INDEPENDENTS AND SENIORS
IS THERE ANYWHERE THAT YOU'VE
BEEN LEADING BIDEN

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ARRESTS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: OKAY, INTERESTING.

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00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,771
NOW YOU'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT
ALL OF YOUR SUCCESSES, CAN YOU
GIVE US TWO EXAMPLES OF THINGS

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00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,606
THAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER
DON JR.

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00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:17,317
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND ERIC
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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Jimmy: BACK TO THE ELECTION,
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN BEAT DeSANTIS

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OH, YES, YES, YES
OH, YES.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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Jimmy: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
SPELL DeSANTIS
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: AND FINALLY, BEFORE
YOU GO, CAN YOU DO AN

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00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,640
IMPRESSION OF SOMEONE WHOSE
DENTURES ARE FALLING OUT OF
THEIR MOUTH?

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GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: THERE YOU GO

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I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING US

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00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:53,453
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
PRESIDENT TRUMP, THANK YOU
VERY -

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NICE OF HIM.
WELL, GET THIS, GUYS, TODAY
A CONGRESSMAN FROM OKLAHOMA

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BROUGHT RONALD McDONALD AND
GRIMACE TO THE CAPITOL
HERE'S-- HERE'S A PHOTO

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00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:02,495
GRIMACE TO THE CAPITOL
HERE'S-- HERE'S A PHOTO

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Jimmy: YEAH
WOW, QUITE A FALL FROM GRACE

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00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:09,703
FOR TUCKER CARLSON AND
DON LEMON, BUT HEY, YOU KNOW I
THINK A GIG'S A GIG.

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00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,039
A GIG'S A GIG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN TRUMP SAW RONALD McDONALD

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00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,343
WAS THERE, HE WAS LIKE, "I'M
STORMING THE CAPITOL
LET'S GO!"

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[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, GUYS, LET'S SWITCH GEARS,
I LOVE THE SPRINGTIME, ALL THE

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00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:24,884
NATURE -
LET'S JUST GO AROUND AND SAY
WHAT WE LOVE MOST ABOUT SPRING

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I'LL START
FOR ME, I LOVE THE -
♪ RAIN RAIN I LOVE THE SMEL

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OF THE RAIN RAIN RAIN IN
MY FACE AND I'M RUN RU
RUNNING IN PLACE ♪

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♪ AND I'M LOVING THE SMEL
OF THE SUN SUN I LOVE TH
WARMTH OF THE SUN SUN SU

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ON MY NOSE ♪
♪ AND THE SUN SUN SHINE O
MY CLOTHES AND I'M LOVING TH

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WARMTH OF THE WIND WIND
LOVE THE RUSH OF THE WIND ♪
♪ WIND WIND IN MY HAIR AS I

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DANCE DANCE DANCING IN AIR
AND I'M LOVING THE RUSH OF THE
WIND ON MY FACE ♪

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♪ SUN ON MY NOS
WIND IN MY HAI
SAND IN MY TOE

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DANCE ON THE SAND ♪
♪ FLYING SO FRE
I LOVE THE WAY

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OF THE RAIN ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: MOVING ON--

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[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, THIS IS WILD, AHEAD OF
HIS CORONATION, A LIFE SIZE

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CHOCOLATE BUST OF KING CHARLES
HAS BEEN UNVEILED.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING.

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HAS BEEN UNVEILED.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING.

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Steve: OH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

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00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,334
Jimmy: YEP, THEY STOPPED AT
THE SHOULDERS, BECAUSE THEY
WERE LIKE, "I THINK THIS IS

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CREEPY ENOUGH.
HEY, GUYS, DID YOU SEE THIS?
BEATS IS LAUNCHING NEW

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00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:58,845
TRANSPARENT EAR BUDS
HERE'S MY ADVICE, IF YOU DROP
ONE, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
NOT GOING TO FIND IT
MOVE ON.

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00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:09,055
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND FINALLY, THERE'S A NEW
SMART DEVICE CALLED COMPANION

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00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:15,929
THAT BABYSITS YOUR DOG BY
ENTERTAINING IT, FEEDING IT AND
MONITORING ITS HEALTH.

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00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,897
YEP, THERE'S ALSO A CHEAPER
OPTION, IT'S CALLED NOT HAVING
A DOG.

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00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,867
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,

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00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,235
EVERYBODY.
COME ON.

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
♪

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AW, WHAT A SHOW.
WHAT A SHOW TONIGHT.

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WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR TONIGHT.
ONE OF OUR FAVORITES, HE IS THE

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00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,555
CO-ANCHOR OF "GOOD MORNING
AMERICA" AND HIS SKINCARE LINE
"MICHAEL STRAHAN SKIN AND SHAVE

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ROUTINE" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
MICHAEL STRAHAN IS HERE, TONIGHT.

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Steve: COME ON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: ONE OF THE ALL TIME

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BEST
I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT OUR--
OUR SECOND GUEST AS WELL

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SHE IS A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR
WHOSE BOOKS HAVE SOLD OVER
90 MILLION COPIES.

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00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,614
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Steve: OH
Jimmy: YEP.

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00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,482
THE MOVIE, BASED ON HER NOVEL,
"ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME,
MARGARET," IS IN THEATERS

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00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:13,620
FRIDAY
JUDY BLUME IS JOINING US -
Steve: COME ON!

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00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:21,394
Jimmy:-- TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM

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BLACK THOUGHT AND EL MICHELS
AFFAIR FEATURING KIRBY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD, BUD
THANK--
GUYS, RIGHT NOW IT IS TIME FOR

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00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,038
"TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS."
HERE WE GO

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ HASHTAG
HASHTAGS ♪

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Jimmy: NOW, THIS WEEK, I
SENT OUT THE #IFIWASPRESIDENT,
AND I ASKED YOU GUYS TO TWEET

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OUT SOMETHING FUNNY OR WEIRD
THINGS THAT YOU WOULD MAKE
HAPPEN IF YOU WERE ELECTED

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00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:51,658
PRESIDENT.
WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS
A TRENDING TOPIC, SO THANK YOU

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00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:56,229
ALL FOR PLAYING ALONG.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF

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MY FAVORITE IFIWASPRESIDENT
TWEETS FROM YOU GUYS
HERE WE GO, THIS ONE'S FROM

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@NIKOSEATTLE
HE SAYS, "I WOULD MAKE THE
MONDAY AFTER THE SUPER BOWL

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A NATIONAL HOLIDAY FOR
CELEBRATION AND RECOVERY."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:14,748
WE CAN GET BEHIND THAT
Steve: COME ON.
Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM

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00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,485
@JENNA2NYC
SHE SAYS, "PEOPLE WHO DO
CROSSFIT WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO

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00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:26,793
DISCUSS IT WITH ANYONE NOT IN
CROSSFIT."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:30,430
THIS ONE'S FROM @MOLLYSMOM
THEY SAY, "I WOULD MAKE IT
MANDATORY THAT ALL CEREAL TO

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00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,198
COME IN RESEALABLE, PLASTIC
ZIPPER BAGS AS OPPOSED TO THE
FOLDED WAX PAPER THAT THEY ARE

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00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:40,273
STILL USING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Steve: YEAH

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00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:46,946
Jimmy: YES!
EXACTLY RIGHT!
THIS ONE'S FROM @RSTARE.

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00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,682
HE SAYS, "I'D MAKE ALL SENATORS
WEAR WIGS, LIKE BRITISH
PARLIAMENT, BUT THEY'D BE

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00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:57,757
MULLETS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S FUN

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00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:00,660
THIS ONE'S FROM-- SPEAKING OF
MULLETS, THIS ONE'S FROM
@LONGHAIREDGUY31

134
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,229
Steve: OH
Jimmy: HE SAYS, "IF ANY
McDONALD'S IN THE COUNTRY HAS

135
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:08,968
A BROKEN ICE CREAM MACHINE,
THEY SHALL FLY THEIR FLAG AT
HALF-MAST.

136
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:13,139
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
DISGRACE

137
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:18,411
HOW DARE YOU
Steve: FIX IT
Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU, SIR!

138
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:30,223
[ SMACK
Steve: ICE CREAM!
Jimmy: ICE CREAM!

139
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:36,563
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!
Steve: ICE CREAM.
IT'S ICED CREAM.

140
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:43,670
Jimmy: I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM,
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

141
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:48,942
[ SMACK
GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR
[ FLATULENCE ]

142
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:54,614
THIS ONE'S FROM @GEOFFJEFF -
Steve: GEOFFJEFF.
Jimmy: GEOFFJEFF55.

143
00:11:54,614 --> 00:12:00,053
HE SAYS, "WEED WOULD BE LEGAL.
I KNOW IT IS ALREADY, BUT IT
WOULD BE EVEN MORE LEGAL."

144
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:06,860
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GEOFFJEFF!
Steve: WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR

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00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,530
USERNAME TO BE GEOFF.
Jimmy: GEOFFJEFF.

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00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,465
Steve: JUST GEOFF
Jimmy: GEOFFJEFF SAYS IT.
NAH, GEOFFJEFF SAYS IT, MAN, HE

147
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:19,939
MEANS IT
"JUST MAKE IT MORE LEGAL."
THIS ONE'S FROM @LACEYDAWES.

148
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,076
SHE SAYS, "I WOULD MAKE
REFRIGERATORS BIGGER SO I CAN
FIT THE PIZZA BOX IN IT.

149
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,311
Steve: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: YEAH

150
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:28,915
Steve: COME ON.
Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THAT THING?

151
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:34,187
THIS ONE'S FROM @RUEXCITE.
THEY SAY, "I'D TURN MOUNT
RUSHMORE INTO THE TEENAGE

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00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:38,124
MUTANT NINJA TURTLES."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SURE

153
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:42,395
Steve: SURE, WHY NOT?
Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@CVANRYSDAM.

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00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:46,433
HE SAYS, "HOT DOGS AND HOT DOG
ROLLS WOULD BE PACKAGED WITH
THE SAME NUMBER.

155
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:53,106
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Steve: SURE, WHY NOT.
Jimmy: CLASSIC.

156
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:57,377
Steve: YEAH, CLASSIC.
Jimmy: I'VE HEARD OF THAT
JOKE, YEAH

157
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,446
Steve: YEAH, WHAT
Jimmy: WELL, HOW MANY HOT
DOGS YOU GET-- THE EIGHT HOT

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00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:03,416
DOGS, RIGHT?
Steve: RIGHT--
Jimmy: AND HOW MANY ROLLS

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00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,152
YOU GET?
Steve: SIX.
Jimmy: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM

160
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,855
[ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: I THINK IT'S TEN AND
EIGHT, YEAH.

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00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,957
I THINK YOU GET--
Jimmy: TEN-- TEN ROLLS
Steve: TEN HOT DOGS, EIGHT

162
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:15,061
ROLLS.
YES
Jimmy: TEN DOGS

163
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,897
Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: OH YEAH, YEAH.
Steve: SO, TEN HOT DOGS

164
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,632
Jimmy: TEN HOT DOGS AND--
YEAH
Steve: EIGHT ROLLS.

165
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,501
Jimmy: SO, YOU GOTTA GET TWO
NAKED DOGS
Steve: SURE

166
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[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: THROW TWO-- THROW
TWO DOGS IN ONE BUN.

167
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,539
Steve: YEAH
YEAH!
Steve: HEY.

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00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,608
Jimmy: OH
IT'S ALL RIGHT
Steve: IT'S A FAMILY SHOW

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00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:33,213
TWO DOGS, ONE BUN, YEAH!
♪
Jimmy: IT'S A HOT-- THEY'RE

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00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:37,584
THE HOT DOG--
Steve: GEOFFJEFF55.
Jimmy: COME ON.

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00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:43,923
[ DONALD DUCK VOICE
GO DUCK YOURSELF.
Jimmy: OKAY, DONALD, DONALD

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00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:47,227
THIS ONE'S FROM @JONCOOPER23
HE SAID, "I WOULD REGULATE CAR
COMPANIES TO MAKE THE SUN

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00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,597
VISORS ACTUALLY COVER THAT
ANNOYING CORNER SPOT
YOU KNOW THE ONE I'M TALKING

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00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:54,434
ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, I KNOW THAT ONE.

175
00:13:54,434 --> 00:14:01,875
THAT ONE THERE
LAST ONE'S FROM
@LITERALLYHATGUY

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00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:06,146
HE SAYS, "AIR FORCE ONE'S
GETTING' A HOT TUB, BAY-BAY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,782
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW
HASHTAGS."

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00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:11,051
TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR
FAVORITES, GO TO
TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS

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00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,254
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MICHAEL STRAHAN!

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00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:21,795
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪

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00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,063
Jimmy: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

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00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:28,401
DOES A CHARITY GOLF TOURNAMENT
AND WE WENT FOR IT-- YEAH
AND IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

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00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,571
AND YOU CAME OUT
AND THERE WAS A TON OF PEOPLE
OUT THERE, ATHLETES PLAYING.

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00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,307
BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE CAN ONLY
BE ONE WINNER, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING

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00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:49,356
AND--
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN

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00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:54,394
NFL HALL OF FAMER AND CO-ANCHOR
OF "GOOD MORNING AMERICA."
HIS SKIN CARE LINE,

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00:14:54,394 --> 00:15:02,202
MICHAEL STRAHAN'S SKIN AND
SHAVE ROUTINE IS AVAILABLE AT MICHAELSTRAHANSKIN.COM

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00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:06,539
PLEASE WELCOME OUR PAL,
MICHAEL STRAHAN!

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00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:23,890
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: COME ON, BUD

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00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:31,865
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO
Jimmy: STRAY, IT IS
APPEARANCE NUMBER 19 FOR YOU

191
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,501
I KNOW.
Jimmy: IT'S A RECORD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

192
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:39,239
MOST EVER.
I MEAN, JIMMY
I DON'T SHOW UP AT MY OTHER

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00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:43,910
REAL JOBS 19 TIMES -
Jimmy: 19 TIMES
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON

194
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:46,179
THE SHOW AND ALWAYS BEING AWESOME.
I CONSIDER THIS LIKE ANOTHER

195
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,948
JOB EXCEPT I DON'T GET PAID FOR THIS
[ LAUGHTER ]

196
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,686
Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY.
BUT IT'S ALL GOOD
I'M HAPPY TO SEE EVERYBODY

197
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:55,188
THAT'S WHY I KEEP COMING BACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BEST AUDIENCE IN TELEVISION.

198
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,091
Jimmy: I GOT TO SEE-- I GOT
TO SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND.
THIS PAST WEEKEND WE GOT TO

199
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,326
SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER
WE WERE IN VEGAS -
YEAH.

200
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:04,264
Jimmy:-- FOR
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DOES A
A CHARITY GOLF TOURNAMENT.

201
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,900
AND WE WENT FOR IT-- YEAH
AND IT WAS A BIG DEAL.
AND YOU CAME OUT

202
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,937
IT WAS A TON OF PEOPLE OUT
THERE, ATHLETES PLAYING.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE CAN ONLY

203
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,708
BE ONE WINNER, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING
AND--

204
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:22,248
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH
THERE YOU GO

205
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,884
THAT'S ME AND JUSTIN
WE WON THE TOURNAMENT.
JUSTIN -

206
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,954
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND
JIMMY FALLON WON THE

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00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:32,759
TOURNAMENT
OKAY.
OKAY

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00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,394
CAN I SPEAK?
CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
Jimmy: MM-MM.

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00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:39,332
FIRST OF ALL, THE WIND--
THE WIND IS BEYOND SUSPECT
THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY.

210
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,735
Jimmy: WHAT
BEYOND.
THERE'S A LOT I COULD SAY, WE

211
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:46,539
DON'T HAVE TIME.
AND TWO, WE WERE IN VEGAS.
Jimmy: YEAH

212
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:50,810
IT WAS 80, 90 DEGREES, AND
YOU'RE DRESSING LIKE YOU'RE IN SCOTLAND

213
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,747
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I LITERALLY LOOKED AT HIM,
AND I TOLD MY PARTNER,

214
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:59,352
MATTHEW STAFFORD, I SAID,
"JIMMY LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WHO'S
DRESSED--

215
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,022
LIKE HE'S THE INVISIBLE MAN WHO
WANTS TO BE SEEN."
[ LAUGHTER ]

216
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:05,925
HE'S GOT-- HE'S GOT SO MUCH
ON, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]

217
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:09,763
WHY WERE YOU-- IT'S 90.
WHY DO YOU HAVE A SWEATER ON
[ LAUGHTER ]

218
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:12,165
Jimmy: THAT'S A STYLISH MAN
RIGHT THERE.
THAT WAS A SWEATY MAN RIGHT

219
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,267
THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAD A GREAT TIME, MAN

220
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,469
WE HAD A GREAT TIME.
Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT
IT IS--

221
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,338
'CAUSE I PACKED-- I FLEW FROM
NEW YORK, AND I PICKED A COUPLE
OF OUTFITS I THOUGHT WOULD BE

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00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:25,211
COOL AND FUN TO WEAR
AND THEN WHEN I GET THERE, I
GOT NO OTHER -

223
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,048
I DIDN'T BRING OPTIONS
WELL, YOU KNOW THEY GOT AN
APP CALLED WEATHER

224
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,582
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST LOOK ON THAT SUCKER AND
YOU CAN PUT IN ANYWHERE IN THE

225
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:34,254
WORLD, AND IT TELLS YOU WHAT
THE WEATHER'S GOING TO BE.
Jimmy: NO ONE TELLS A CHAMP

226
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:38,925
HOW TO DRESS, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
COME ON, BUD

227
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:43,363
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
YOU-- YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT
OF MAD GOLFERS OUT THERE FOR

228
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:48,101
NEXT YEAR.
I WILL TELL YOU THAT
Jimmy: RIGHT?

229
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,070
A LOT OF THEM
Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOME NFL NEWS, HERE.

230
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,571
'CAUSE THIS IS BIG NEWS IN
NEW YORK
AARON RODGERS IS COMING TO THE

231
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:59,279
NEW YORK JETS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU KNOW, EAGLE FANS OVER

232
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:03,316
THERE GOING, "AH, WHATEVER,
WHATEVER."
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT-- I

233
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,785
THINK IT'S GREAT
I MEAN, TO ME, IT SHOWS-- I
DON'T KNOW IF THEY'LL GET HIM

234
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,656
FOR MORE THAN ONE YEAR
THAT'S THE THING
BUT THEY GAVE UP A FIRST ROUND

235
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,826
PICK AND SOME OTHER STUFF.
BUT IT SHOWS THAT THEY'RE ALL
IN AND THEY THINK THEY'VE GOT

236
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:14,594
A TEAM WHO COULD MAKE A RUN AT IT
Jimmy: WELL, THEY HAD A

237
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,564
A GOOD-- THEY HAVE A GOOD
DEFENSE, RIGHT
THEY HAVE A GREAT DEFENSE

238
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:22,268
THEY HAVE GREAT RECEIVERS.
GREAT RUNNING BACK
THEY JUST COULDN'T SCORE

239
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,170
I MEAN, THEIR QUARTERBACK LAST
YEAR, I THINK HE NEEDS SOME
TIME TO DEVELOP A LITTLE BIT

240
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:27,407
MORE
Jimmy: YEP.
AND I THINK THERE'S NO ONE

241
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,410
BETTER TO LEARN FROM THAN
AARON RODGERS.
SO, IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIM

242
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:33,446
FOR A YEAR OR TWO, I THINK THE
JETS, THEY BROUGHT A LOT OF EXCITEMENT

243
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:37,283
IT'S GOING TO SELL A LOT OF
SEASON TICKETS IF THEY'RE NOT
ALREADY SOLD OUT

244
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,752
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE
GOING TO GET HIM FOR MORE THAN
A YEAR OR TWO.

245
00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,787
SO GOOD LUCK
Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

246
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,957
DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO FIT
IN IN NEW YORK
I DON'T KNOW IF-- I DON'T

247
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:48,061
KNOW IF AARON ROGERS AND THE
MEDIA--
THE MEDIA HERE IS KIND OF LIKE

248
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:53,133
"GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, THEY-- THEY DON'T LIKE

249
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:58,405
YOU.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM LIKE YOU
Jimmy: YEAH

250
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,240
AND I THINK HE COMES IN
ALREADY OFF A DARKNESS RETREAT,
SO, THEY'RE GOING TO BE LIKE,

251
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,443
"YOU KNOW, THIS GUY.
Jimmy: THIS GUY DID THE
DARKNESS RETREAT

252
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,178
AND THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE
HIM-- I THINK THEY'RE GOING TO
PROBABLY TRY TO GIVE HIM A

253
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:10,450
A LITTLE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT,
BUT THEY'RE LOOKING.
Jimmy: IT'S TOUGH

254
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,218
SO, IT'S GOING TO BE
INTERESTING TO SEE HOW HE
HANDLES THE MEDIA BECAUSE THEY

255
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,155
CAN'T-- THEY CAN'T BE TAMED
HERE IN NEW YORK
THEY'RE TOUGH.

256
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:18,024
Jimmy: NO, YOU CAN'T TELL
THEM WHAT'S UP NO.

257
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,827
Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THE DRAFT
COMING UP?
ANY--

258
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,030
I'M INTERESTED IN THE QUARTERBACKS
LIKE WHO GOES-- DOES YOUNG GO

259
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:31,805
FIRST FROM ALABAMA
OR DOES STROUD FROM OHIO STATE
LIKE, YOU KNOW, I JUST LIKE

260
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:33,673
WATCHING THE FIRST FEW BECAUSE
EVERY TEAM KNOWS WHO THEY'RE
GOING TO PICK PRETTY MUCH.

261
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,376
Jimmy: THEY DO.
BUT THEN THEY RUN THE CLOCK OUT.

262
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:40,647
SO, THEY MAKE SOMETHING THAT
SHOULD TAKE 15 MINUTES TO GET
30 PICKS TAKE, LIKE, 4 HOURS

263
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,315
Jimmy: SO, THE DEALS ARE DONE
THEY KNOW WHO IT IS.

264
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:45,819
YEAH, FOR THE MOST PART
AND I'M LIKE," COME ON, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE GOING TO

265
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:48,655
PICK
HURRY UP
I GOT STUFF TO DO.

266
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,724
Jimmy: YEAH
BUT YOU'VE BEEN IN THIS POSITION

267
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,492
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
I GET NERVOUS FOR THESE KIDS

268
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:55,095
I WAS NERVOUS.
Jimmy: YOU WERE YEAH.

269
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:58,298
I WAS LIKE, "DO I GOT TO GET A
A REAL JOB
OR--" YOU KNOW.

270
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,567
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: EXACTLY.
"MOM, DAD

271
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,869
I'M HOME!"
Jimmy: YEAH, "I'M STAYING
I'M STAYING A WHILE.

272
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:06,272
"I'M STAYING.
BUT, YEAH, YOU GET NERVOUS
BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FUTURE

273
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:10,543
YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW, WHERE
YOU'RE GOING TO END UP
YOU DON'T KNOW-- YOU'RE HOPING

274
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,179
YOU GO SOMEWHERE THAT WORKS FOR
YOU, AND YOU FIT IN.
FOR ME, IT WAS, FORTUNATELY

275
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:16,349
ENOUGH, TO COME HERE TO
NEW YORK
BUT I WAS STILL SCARED TO

276
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:21,187
DEATH.
'CAUSE YOU HAD LAWRENCE TAYLOR
AND I WAS FREAKING OUT ABOUT

277
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:25,525
THAT GOING, "YOU HAVE HIM.
YOU DON'T NEED ME.
PLUS IT'S COLD HERE.

278
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,061
AND I WAS COMING FROM HOUSTON.
I DIDN'T WANT ANY PART OF THAT
Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH

279
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,096
EXACTLY, YEAH.
I MEAN, THE ONLY THING I
LOOKED FORWARD TO WAS THAT WE

280
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,498
GOT TO PLAY THE EAGLES TWICE A
A YEAR SO WE COULD KICK THEIR BUTTS.

281
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:38,805
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: WHY-- WHY DO YOU
START-- EVERY TIME YOU COME

282
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:43,076
HERE, YOU START WITH THE ROOTS
BECAUSE I'M SITTING HERE
TALKING TO YOU AND THEY'RE

283
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,812
STARING.
I FEEL THE HATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]

284
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:48,982
[ SAD TUBA ]
I CAN FEEL IT!
Jimmy: SEE, I LOVE THAT YOU

285
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:51,384
WALKED OUT TODAY, AND THEY
PLAYED THE "ROCKY" THEME
EXACTLY

286
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,920
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Jimmy: PHILLY
ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH

287
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,889
PHILLY
BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS, MAN
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU WERE GOOD

288
00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,191
FOR ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE SACKS A
A YEAR
Questlove: HEY!

289
00:20:58,191 --> 00:21:05,165
[ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: BUT LOOK AT WHERE
YOU'VE COME.

290
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:06,700
YOU STARTED OFF PLAYING FOOTBALL
IT IS NOW BEYOND

291
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:09,803
YOU'RE MICHAEL STRAHAN NOW
YOU'RE A LOT OF GREAT THINGS
YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SKIN CARE

292
00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:16,242
LINE
YEAH, MAN
Jimmy: CAN WE DISCUSS THIS?

293
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:18,111
WELL, YOU HAD A BEARD LAST
TIME WE WERE HERE.
Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT

294
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,513
YOU KNOW.
AND NOW IT'S GONE.
Jimmy: NO, BUT THAT'S GOOD.

295
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,382
I LIKE YOU WITH IT.
IT LOOKED GOOD
Jimmy: YOU DID?

296
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,150
REALLY
YEAH.
Jimmy: YOU THINK I SHOULD

297
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,885
GROW IT BACK NO.
Jimmy: OKAY

298
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:29,489
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAD A LITTLE PHASE
I HAD A PHASE.

299
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:32,325
YEAH, IT LOOKED GOOD.
Jimmy: BUT NOW I CAN USE
MORE OF YOUR PRODUCT

300
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:39,232
YEAH, YOU CAN -
Jimmy: 'CAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE
A BEARD, IT'S LESS FACE.

301
00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:41,601
WHEN YOU HAVE THE BEARD, YOU
KNOW, YOU USE THE BEARD OIL.
EVEN THOUGH YOU USE IT ON YOUR

302
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,403
CUTICLES IF YOUR CUTICLES ARE BAD.
BUT NOW, I THINK NOW WHAT

303
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,339
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED -
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED-- WHERE'S
IT AT?

304
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,241
THE BEARD WASH, FACE AND BEARD
WASH WITH THE FACE WASH.
Jimmy: OKAY, I COULD USE

305
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:50,944
THAT
YOU USE THAT.
AND THEN, YOU NEED THE FACE AND

306
00:21:50,944 --> 00:21:55,782
NECK MOISTURIZERS.
KEEP YOUR SKIN SOFT AND SUPPLE
BUT--

307
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:59,386
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
ANY OTHER TIME, SINCE YOU'RE
SHAVING NOW, THIS SHAVE LOTION,

308
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:02,589
THIS WON THE, YOU KNOW, THE NEW
BEAUTY AWARD 2023.
THEY CHOSE THIS AS THE BEST

309
00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:08,695
SHAVE GEL CREAM OUT OF OVER
10,000 PRODUCTS.
Jimmy: COME ON,

310
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:13,500
MICHAEL STRAHAN.
COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

311
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,368
YEAH, YEAH.
Jimmy: WHY?
YOU KNOW WHAT

312
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:19,205
HONESTLY, IT REALLY WORKS.
AND I LOVE IT BECAUSE IT'S
CLEAR.

313
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:21,808
SO, WHEN I PUT IT ON, I CAN SEE
THE OUTLINE OF MY BEARD AND
WHATEVER I'M GOING TO DO

314
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:26,312
AND I DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES
AND MISS LINES AND DIFFERENT
THINGS LIKE THAT

315
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:32,552
THEN, FOR YOU NOW, SINCE YOU'RE
GOING TO BE SHAVING IT CLEAN -
POST-SHAVE BALM.

316
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,621
Jimmy: REALLY
POST-SHAVE BALM?
YEAH.

317
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:41,528
I MEAN, YOUR SKIN LOOKS GREAT ALREADY.
Jimmy: YEAH, LET ME JUST--

318
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,964
DOES IT HAVE A SMELL TO IT
NO, IT DOESN'T
SEE, THAT'S THE THING

319
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,800
BECAUSE YOU GOT TO -
Jimmy: OOH, I LIKE THAT
I LEARNED ALL THESE

320
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,368
DIFFERENT THINGS WHEN WE WERE
WORKING ON THIS.
BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT TOO

321
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:51,271
MANY SMELLS, BECAUSE SMELLS ARE SUBJECTIVE
SOMEBODY LIKES IT OR NOT

322
00:22:51,271 --> 00:22:53,106
SO, IF YOU KIND OF KEEP THINGS
SOMEWHAT NEUTRAL, YOU'RE GOING
TO GIVE YOURSELF A, YOU KNOW,

323
00:22:53,106 --> 00:22:54,908
MORE PEOPLE WHO MAY LIKE IT.
Jimmy: DUDE YOU'RE CRUSHING
IT, BUD.

324
00:22:54,908 --> 00:22:57,110
I'M TRYING IT, MAN.
Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE AT
TARGET NOW, TOO.

325
00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:59,612
YEAH, WE'RE AT TARGET.COM
WE'RE AT -
Jimmy: THAT'S MASSIVE

326
00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:04,351
AMAZON, CVS, RITE AID, AND MICHAELSTRAHANSKIN.COM
Jimmy:

327
00:23:04,351 --> 00:23:07,821
MICHAELSTRAHANSKIN.COM
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TARGET.COM

328
00:23:07,821 --> 00:23:10,557
MICHAEL STRAHAN, EVERYBODY
MICHAEL AND I ARE DOING
SOMETHING FUN AND SPORTY AFTER

329
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:21,501
THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND
♪

330
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,437
I'M NOT USING THOSE GREEN,
I'M GONNA HAVE BLUE BALLS.
[ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS

331
00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:28,508
Jimmy: TMI.
TMI.
Jimmy: I-- OH, MY GOSH, OH,

332
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:33,279
REALLY
OOH, NO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

333
00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,827
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
I'M HERE WITH MICHAEL STRAHAN!

334
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:51,898
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YO!
Jimmy: AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GO

335
00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:55,235
HEAD TO HEAD IN A GAME OF
"STIC-TAC- TOE."

336
00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:59,773
♪ STIC TAC TO
STIC TAC TOE
YEAH ♪

337
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,408
Jimmy: THIS IS JUST LIKE
REGULAR TIC-TAC-TOE, BUT WITH
AN ADDED CHALLENGE

338
00:24:01,408 --> 00:24:06,680
EACH SQUARE CONTAINS A PRODUCT
FROM THE MICHAEL STRAHAN SKIN
AND SHAVE ROUTINE LINE

339
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,950
[ CHEERS ]
YOU'VE GOT YOUR CLEAR SHAVING
LOTION, YOUR FACE AND NECK

340
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:13,787
MOISTURIZER, AND YOUR CALMING
POST-SHAVE BALM.
INSTEAD OF DRAWING AN X OR AN

341
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:17,957
O, YOU HAVE TO BOUNCE
A PING-PONG BALL AND GET IT TO
STICK TO THE PRODUCT

342
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:22,062
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF ANOTHER
PLAYER'S BALL IS ALREADY THERE
WHOEVER GETS THREE IN A ROW

343
00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:25,732
FIRST WINS OKAY.
Jimmy: MICHAEL, YOU'RE MY

344
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:28,101
GUEST.
ALL RIGHT
WELL, I'M NOT USING THOSE

345
00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:30,870
GREEN, I'M GONNA HAVE BLUE BALLS.
[ RIM SHOT ]

346
00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:35,675
[ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS
Jimmy: TMI.
TMI.

347
00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:38,311
TMI
Jimmy: OH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE--
'CAUSE YOU'RE PLAYING FOR THE

348
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:39,079
GIANTS
YEAH.
YEAH, YEAH

349
00:24:39,079 --> 00:24:41,815
Jimmy: OH, I UNDERSTAND
I UNDERSTAND
SEE-- SEE--

350
00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:43,683
Jimmy: GIANTS, YEAH
NOW I UNDERSTAND, SORRY.
YEAH, TMI

351
00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:45,652
Jimmy: I MISUNDERSTOOD.
YOU DIDN'T MISUNDERSTAND,
YOU GOT IT

352
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:50,090
Jimmy: I KNOW I DID
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]

353
00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:54,194
WELL, THIS IS GONNA TAKE A LONG
TIME, I THINK.
[ CHEERS ]

354
00:24:54,194 --> 00:24:55,595
THERE WE GO
♪
BAM.

355
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:59,532
♪
[ SCATTERED CHEERS ]
IS IT ONE BOUNCE OR, LIKE,

356
00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:02,035
EIGHT BOUNCES?
Jimmy: IT DOESN'T MATTER.
♪

357
00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:09,409
OH!
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
[ AUDIENCE OOHS

358
00:25:09,409 --> 00:25:11,277
Jimmy: THAT SHOVED YOUR -
YOU WERE ON ANOTHER LEVEL IN VEGAS.

359
00:25:11,277 --> 00:25:13,813
MAYBE THAT'S AFFECTING YOUR--
YOUR TIC-TAC-TOE
Jimmy: WAS I?

360
00:25:13,813 --> 00:25:18,718
♪
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
OH, THAT WAS AWFUL.

361
00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:26,626
THERE WE GO!
[ CHEERS ]
♪

362
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,595
Jimmy: I THOUGHT-- OH, MY GOSH REALLY

363
00:25:28,595 --> 00:25:35,702
OOH, NO.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NOT BAD THOUGH

364
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:37,570
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO
JUST TO LAND -
OH, COME ON!

365
00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:42,142
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
COME ON!
OH, MY GOSH, BACKWARDS

366
00:25:42,142 --> 00:25:44,144
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I CAN'T HIT ANYTHING -
ALL RIGHT

367
00:25:44,144 --> 00:25:45,945
LET'S END IT
Y'ALL READY TO END IT?
Audience: YEAH!

368
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:50,483
OH!
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
♪

369
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:54,087
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER AND CHEERS
♪
COME ON, JIMMY!

370
00:25:54,087 --> 00:26:12,138
[ CHEERS ]
♪
[ CHEERS ]

371
00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,673
♪
Jimmy: NO, NO, YOU GOTTA GET THAT

372
00:26:13,673 --> 00:26:17,077
I GOT TO GET WHAT
Jimmy: THREE IN A ROW
OH, REALLY?

373
00:26:17,077 --> 00:26:19,312
Jimmy: YEAH, TIC-TAC-TOE.
OH, THAT'S HOW TIC-TAC-TOE
IS PLAYED, OKAY.

374
00:26:19,312 --> 00:26:23,350
Jimmy: YEAH
THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY, OKAY
♪

375
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:26,219
Jimmy: YOU'RE UP.
OH, IT'S ME
Jimmy: YEAH

376
00:26:26,219 --> 00:26:28,388
LET'S END IT.
OOH!
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]

377
00:26:28,388 --> 00:26:35,195
♪
♪
Jimmy: JUST WHAT AM I -

378
00:26:35,195 --> 00:26:42,402
♪
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS ]

379
00:26:42,402 --> 00:26:50,276
♪
[ CHEERS ]
♪

380
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:55,648
NOT ONE BALL -
♪
[ CHEERS ]

381
00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:57,851
THERE YOU GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THE WINNER

382
00:26:57,851 --> 00:27:03,757
JUST LIKE THE GOLF TOURNAMENT
[ LAUGHTER ]

383
00:27:03,757 --> 00:27:06,026
OH, YEAH
Jimmy: MICHAEL STRAHAN, EVERYBODY.

384
00:27:06,026 --> 00:27:09,662
YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU.

385
00:27:09,662 --> 00:27:14,467
MICHAEL STRAHAN SKIN AND
SHAVE ROUTINE IS AVAILABLE NOW
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

386
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,671
JUDY BLUME
GIVE ME THE WIN.
JUST GIVE ME THE WIN

387
00:27:17,671 --> 00:27:35,522
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS

388
00:27:35,522 --> 00:27:42,162
A BELOVED BEST-SELLING AUTHOR,
WHOSE BOOKS HAVE SOLD OVER
90 MILLION COPIES IN

389
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:45,665
39 LANGUAGES
A FILM BASED ON HER
BREAKTHROUGH NOVEL, "ARE YOU

390
00:27:45,665 --> 00:27:49,502
THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET"
OPENS IN THEATERS FRIDAY

391
00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:51,905
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME,
JUDY BLUME

392
00:27:54,174 --> 00:28:15,261
♪
Jimmy: I'M SO EXCITED TO
HAVE THE JUDY BLUME HERE

393
00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:18,898
YES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I AM SUCH A FAN.

394
00:28:18,898 --> 00:28:21,034
THANK YOU
Jimmy: WHEN DID IT ALL START
FOR YOU?

395
00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:24,471
YOU WERE MAKING PICTURE BOOKS,
IS THAT CORRECT?
YEAH, I WAS WRITING PICTURE

396
00:28:24,471 --> 00:28:27,640
BOOKS.
YOU KNOW, I HAD LITTLE KIDS.
I WAS CREATIVE

397
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,045
I NEEDED CREATIVE EXCITEMENT
Jimmy: YEAH
AND SO, WHAT KIND OF BOOKS

398
00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:35,048
WHAT WOULD YOUR BOOKS BE, LIKE,
CALLED, OR ABOUT
THEY WERE TERRIBLE RHYMING

399
00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:38,818
PICTURE BOOKS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
REALLY BAD

400
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:40,787
IMITATION DR. SEUSS.
Jimmy: REALLY BAD NO.

401
00:28:40,787 --> 00:28:42,956
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: OH
CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF

402
00:28:42,956 --> 00:28:46,059
A BOOK THAT YOU-- YOU--
A PICTURE BOOK THAT YOU WROTE?
I COULD

403
00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:48,661
Jimmy: YEAH
WHAT -
YOU PROMISE NOT TO FALL

404
00:28:48,661 --> 00:28:50,063
DOWN
Jimmy: YEAH
NO

405
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:52,065
UNLESS YOU'RE LAUGHING.
Jimmy: YEAH, NO
I WOULD LOVE IT.

406
00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:54,567
OKAY.
OKAY
SO, THIS WAS CALLED "YOU MOM

407
00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:58,872
YOU.
NOT PUBLISHED.
I'VE TOLD MY KIDS, "IF YOU EVER

408
00:28:58,872 --> 00:29:02,709
PUBLISH IT AFTER I'M GONE, I'LL
HAUNT YOU.
Jimmy: OH, MY GOD

409
00:29:02,709 --> 00:29:05,445
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NO
HOW ARE-- IT'S CALLED-- "YOU

410
00:29:05,445 --> 00:29:07,080
MOM--
"YOU MOM YOU.
IT'S ABOUT A MOTHER WHO'S

411
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:11,117
TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HER LITTLE
KIDS THAT SHE WAS ONCE A KID
SO, IT GOES LIKE THIS.

412
00:29:11,117 --> 00:29:15,722
"YOU, MOM, YOU
YOU WERE A KID
TELL US, TELL US WHAT YOU DID.

413
00:29:15,722 --> 00:29:20,226
"OKAY, OKAY I'LL TELL YOU ALL,
THE THINGS I DID WHEN I WAS SMALL.

414
00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:23,063
I THINK IT'S, "I SUCKED MY
THUMB, I LOVED A BEAR, ONE TIME
I CUT OFF ALL MY HAIR.

415
00:29:23,063 --> 00:29:25,231
[ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: NO, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING-- WHY IS THAT -

416
00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:29,035
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WHY ARE YOU EMBARRASSED?
THAT'S AWESOME

417
00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:31,805
IT WAS TERRIBLE
Jimmy: "YOU MOM YOU"?
AND NOT-- AND NOT ONLY

418
00:29:31,805 --> 00:29:36,109
THAT, BUT I ILLUSTRATED THEM MYSELF
AND I REALLY DO NOT HAVE ANY

419
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:39,813
TALENT
Jimmy: AND, YEAH-- AND THEY
ARE--

420
00:29:39,813 --> 00:29:42,549
BUT SO -
AND I PUT THEM TOGETHER WITH
BRASS FASTENERS.

421
00:29:42,549 --> 00:29:44,718
YOU KNOW, LIKE WE DID IN SCHOOL
Jimmy: OF COURSE.

422
00:29:44,718 --> 00:29:47,053
LITTLE BRASS FASTENERS.
AND THEN I SENT THEM OFF TO
PUBLISHING COMPANIES

423
00:29:47,053 --> 00:29:50,757
Jimmy: AND WHAT WAS THE RESPONSE
I GOT REJECTIONS.

424
00:29:50,757 --> 00:29:53,259
Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, YOU DID, YEAH.

425
00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:58,398
MY FAVORITE REJECTION WAS,
"DOES NOT WIN IN COMPETITION
WITH OTHERS.

426
00:29:58,398 --> 00:30:00,834
FROM "HIGHLIGHT" MAGAZINE.
Jimmy: NO
YES

427
00:30:00,834 --> 00:30:02,802
Jimmy: "HIGHLIGHT" MAGAZINE
I NEVER LET MY KIDS READ
THAT MAGAZINE.

428
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:07,741
[ LAUGHTER ]
NEVER.
Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS, NO

429
00:30:07,741 --> 00:30:09,476
WAY.
YES
YES.

430
00:30:09,476 --> 00:30:11,778
Jimmy: BUT THEN LOOK AT YOU NOW.
I MEAN, HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU

431
00:30:11,778 --> 00:30:13,213
DONE
29-- 29 BOOKS
SO, I HEAR.

432
00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:15,382
Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH.
Jimmy: "ARE YOU"-- "ARE YOU

433
00:30:15,382 --> 00:30:19,019
THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET."
"TALES OF A FOURTH GRADE
NOTHING"-- MY DAUGHTER'S

434
00:30:19,019 --> 00:30:24,257
READING THAT NOW
"BLUBBER," "FOREVER,"
"SUPERFUDGE.

435
00:30:24,257 --> 00:30:29,295
THESE ARE LEGENDARY BOOKS.
I REMEMBER GROWING UP, YOU WERE
IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

436
00:30:29,295 --> 00:30:32,365
YOU WERE, LIKE, YOU WERE
BANNED, I THINK.
WERE YOU GROWING UP IN THE

437
00:30:32,365 --> 00:30:34,868
'80s
Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH.

438
00:30:34,868 --> 00:30:36,970
Jimmy: YOU WERE BANNED-- I
THINK-- YOU WERE BANNED IN MY HOUSE.

439
00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,272
OOH, OOH.
Jimmy: MY MOM DIDN'T LET MY
SISTER READ YOU.

440
00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:41,675
BUT SHE DID
Jimmy: SHE DID.
SHE DID

441
00:30:41,675 --> 00:30:44,110
Jimmy: OH, YEAH
'COURSE SHE DID
Jimmy: KIDS GET WHAT THEY

442
00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:45,945
WANT
I MEAN, THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO--

443
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,914
Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK SHE
BORROWED IT FROM HER --- IS SAY -

444
00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:49,783
Jimmy: "NO.-- "I DON'T WANT--
WELL, I TELL PARENTS, I SAY,

445
00:30:49,783 --> 00:30:54,487
"DON'T TELL THEM THESE WERE THE
FAVORITE BOOKS WHEN YOU WERE A
A KID.

446
00:30:54,487 --> 00:30:58,958
DON'T TELL THEM THAT
THEY WILL NOT WANT TO READ
THEM, BECAUSE MOM IS NOT COOL.

447
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:01,361
SO, THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.
YOU PUT THEM ON TABLES AND, YOU
KNOW, YOU LET THEM LOOK AND

448
00:31:01,361 --> 00:31:05,065
SAY, "OH
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY FOR
THAT."

449
00:31:05,065 --> 00:31:08,068
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: OH
THAT'S PRETTY--

450
00:31:08,068 --> 00:31:12,305
THERE YOU GO.
Jimmy: SEE?
GENIUS

451
00:31:12,305 --> 00:31:16,176
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THERE'S A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT YOU
CALLED, "JUDY BLUME FOREVER,"

452
00:31:16,176 --> 00:31:20,547
THAT'S OUT RIGHT NOW ON
PRIME VIDEO, AND I LOVED IT.
AND I'LL TELL YOU THE PART THAT

453
00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:24,184
I REALLY-- IT REALLY GOT ME
NOT ONLY ARE-- YOU HAVE A
A LEGENDARY CAREER, BUT YOU

454
00:31:24,184 --> 00:31:30,990
WROTE BACK TO YOUR FAN MAIL,
AND YOU SAVED YOUR FAN MAIL.
I DID KEEP ALL OF MY FAN

455
00:31:30,990 --> 00:31:35,995
MAIL, YES.
AND I'M NOTORIOUSLY-- I THROW
AWAY EVERYTHING.

456
00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:38,098
Jimmy: YEAH
EVERYBODY KNOWS I THROW AWAY EVERYTHING

457
00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:40,600
BUT I KEPT EVERY ONE OF THOSE LETTERS.
Jimmy: AND YOU-- IT'S

458
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:45,505
AMAZING TO WATCH
YOU WROTE THEM BACK.
[ APPLAUSE ]

459
00:31:45,505 --> 00:31:48,808
BOXES AND BOXES
Jimmy: YOU HAVE THEM.
I MEAN, YOU WERE GETTING

460
00:31:48,808 --> 00:31:51,211
2,000 A MONTH FAN LETTERS.
AT ONE POINT, YEAH.
I DIDN'T WRITE EVERYBODY BACK.

461
00:31:51,211 --> 00:31:54,114
Jimmy: NO, I UNDERSTAND THAT
BUT THE ONES WHO--

462
00:31:54,114 --> 00:31:56,583
Jimmy: YOU KEPT THEM THOUGH
THE ONES WHO NEEDED ME.
THE ONES WHO NEEDED TO HEAR

463
00:31:56,583 --> 00:31:58,585
FROM ME, I WROTE BACK.
Jimmy: YEAH
AND THEN-- AND THEN THERE ARE

464
00:31:58,585 --> 00:32:03,256
TWO GIRLS WHO WROTE YOU, THAT
ARE IN THE MOVIE NOW
THEY'RE IN THEIR 50s

465
00:32:03,256 --> 00:32:06,459
AND THEY HAVE THEIR OWN
KIDS, TEENAGE KIDS
Jimmy: AND THEY HAVE THEIR

466
00:32:06,459 --> 00:32:09,262
OWN KIDS
IT'S-- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING
YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT

467
00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:13,867
IT'S JUST A GREAT DOCUMENTARY.
BUT NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE
MAIN EVENT

468
00:32:13,867 --> 00:32:18,471
OUT THIS FRIDAY, "ARE YOU THERE
GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET" IS
FINALLY A MOVIE.

469
00:32:18,471 --> 00:32:22,642
I KNOW, 53 YEARS LATER.
BUT THAT'S MY FAULT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

470
00:32:22,642 --> 00:32:24,944
THAT'S MY FAULT.
Jimmy: WHY-- WHY IS IT YOUR
FAULT?

471
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:27,781
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T SELL IT.
Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T WANT--
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SELL IT

472
00:32:27,781 --> 00:32:29,983
I DIDN'T WANT-- I DIDN'T
THINK THAT IT SHOULD BE
A MOVIE.

473
00:32:29,983 --> 00:32:33,520
NOT EVERY BOOK SHOULD BE A
A MOVIE.
AND I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT HOW

474
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:40,093
IT WOULD BE DONE FOR ALL THESE YEARS.
AND THEN SUDDENLY, LIKE, FROM

475
00:32:40,093 --> 00:32:44,864
THE SKY CAME THE PERFECT TEAM.
Jimmy: YEAH
AND I KNEW IT WAS, AND--

476
00:32:44,864 --> 00:32:47,701
Jimmy: WHO WAS THE TEAM
KELLY FREMON CRAIG, WHO
WROTE THE LETTER TO ME, AND

477
00:32:47,701 --> 00:32:51,104
SAID -
AND BY THE WAY, SHE SAID, "I
HAVE WRITTEN AND DIRECTED

478
00:32:51,104 --> 00:32:57,977
A MOVIE CALLED 'THE EDGE OF
SEVENTEEN.'" AND I'M LIKE,
"WHAT?

479
00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:01,815
Jimmy: I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
I LOVE THAT MOVIE
I SAW THAT MOVIE

480
00:33:01,815 --> 00:33:04,684
Jimmy: OH, YEAH
THIS IS-- WHAT A
A CREDENTIAL, RIGHT?

481
00:33:04,684 --> 00:33:09,389
NOBODY EVER CAME TO ME BEFORE
WITH SUCH A CREDENTIAL
AND IF THAT WERE NOT ENOUGH,

482
00:33:09,389 --> 00:33:13,193
SHE SAID, "AND MY MENTOR IS
JAMES L. BROOKS.
Jimmy: NO, NO,

483
00:33:13,193 --> 00:33:16,529
JAMES L. BROOKS IS A LEGEND.
[ APPLAUSE ]
SO DID THEY-- DID THEY TRY TO

484
00:33:16,529 --> 00:33:20,333
WOO YOU?
DID THEY COME TO KEY WEST?
THEY DID.

485
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:23,269
Jimmy: THEY DID
THEY CAME TO KEY WEST VERY QUICKLY.

486
00:33:23,269 --> 00:33:25,372
Jimmy: YEAH
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS MOST
WORRIED ABOUT?

487
00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:27,374
WHAT WOULD I GIVE THEM FOR
LUNCH?
[ LAUGHTER ]

488
00:33:27,374 --> 00:33:30,210
Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
OF COURSE, JUDY BLUME WOULD
WORRY ABOUT THAT

489
00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:33,813
YOU ARE SO FUNNY
YOU HAVE SUCH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR.

490
00:33:33,813 --> 00:33:36,082
AND BY THE WAY, YOU'VE GOTTA BE
HAPPY, THE MOVIE TURNED OUT GREAT.

491
00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:40,754
THE MOVIE IS-- IT'S A DREAM
COME TRUE.
Jimmy: YOU'RE GETTING GREAT

492
00:33:40,754 --> 00:33:42,589
REVIEWS.
PEOPLE ARE TALKING -
I NEVER-- I NEVER THOUGHT

493
00:33:42,589 --> 00:33:47,594
THAT WE COULD DO THIS, THAT IT
COULD BE DONE, BUT -
Jimmy: YEAH

494
00:33:47,594 --> 00:33:51,231
BUT KELLY-- AND THE ACTORS
ARE INCREDIBLE
Jimmy: YEAH

495
00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:55,502
YOU WERE TELLING ME BACKSTAGE.
YOU WERE SAYING THAT-- YOU GO,
"I THINK I'M THE ONLY AUTHOR

496
00:33:55,502 --> 00:33:57,103
THAT WILL SAY THE MOVIE IS
BETTER THAN THE BOOK."
YEAH, I AM PROBABLY THAT,

497
00:33:57,103 --> 00:34:00,206
BUT--
Jimmy: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
IT IS IN THIS -

498
00:34:00,206 --> 00:34:03,476
Jimmy: IN THIS CASE-- IN THIS CASE, BECAUSE
IT'S ROUNDED OUT

499
00:34:03,476 --> 00:34:07,313
Jimmy: YOU DID IT
THE CHARACTERS ARE ALL THERE.

500
00:34:07,313 --> 00:34:10,150
Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU
IT'S SO GOOD.
Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW

501
00:34:10,150 --> 00:34:11,785
EVERYONE A CLIP.
HERE'S A SCENE FROM "ARE YOU

502
00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:12,752
THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET."
TAKE A LOOK.

503
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:14,754
THIS AND YOU SAY, "I MUST!

504
00:34:14,754 --> 00:34:21,761
I MUST
I MUST INCREASE MY BUST!
DOES THAT REALLY WORK

505
00:34:21,761 --> 00:34:25,498
I'M LIVING PROOF.
NOW COME ON, GET UP.
GET UP, GET UP, GET UP

506
00:34:25,498 --> 00:34:29,302
YOU'LL SEE
GET UP
I MUST!

507
00:34:29,302 --> 00:34:32,505
I MUST
I MUST INCREASE MY BUST!
Together: I MUST!

508
00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:35,241
I MUST INCREASE MY BUST!
CHIN UP
Together: WE MUST

509
00:34:35,241 --> 00:34:42,916
WE MUST!
WE MUST INCREASE OUR BUST!
WE MUST

510
00:34:42,916 --> 00:34:45,218
WE MUST!
WE MUST INCREASE -
[ SCREAMING

511
00:34:45,218 --> 00:34:50,890
SHUT UP
WE MUST INCREASE OUR BUST
YOU'RE SO STUPID, SHUT UP

512
00:34:50,890 --> 00:34:56,262
I FEEL IT WORKING MOM
[ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS

513
00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:58,231
Jimmy: COME ON!
JUDY BLUME, EVERYBODY.
"ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME,

514
00:34:58,231 --> 00:35:01,501
MARGARET" HITS THEATERS FRIDAY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," AFTER THE

515
00:35:01,501 --> 00:35:03,370
BREAK.
STICK AROUND
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

516
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:26,760
PLEASE COME BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪

517
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,263
Jimmy: PERFORMING THE TITLE
TRACK FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM
"GLORIOUS GAME," GIVE IT UP FOR

518
00:35:30,263 --> 00:35:35,268
BLACK THOUGHT AND
EL MICHELS AFFAIR FEATURING

519
00:35:35,268 --> 00:35:38,872
KIRBY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

520
00:35:39,472 --> 00:35:55,989
♪ YEA
OKAY I'M TOO BLACK
FOR Y'ALL TO ERASE ♪

521
00:35:55,989 --> 00:35:59,192
♪ SHOOT TOO STRAIGH
FOR Y'ALL TO RETRACE
TOO ABSTRACT

522
00:35:59,192 --> 00:36:02,128
FOR Y'ALL TO REPLACE ♪
♪ YOU ALL WOULD BE SAFE
BUT Y'ALL A DEEPFAKE

523
00:36:02,128 --> 00:36:05,432
TOO FAKE FOR M
TO WASTE TIME ♪
♪ TOO TWO-FACED

524
00:36:05,432 --> 00:36:08,468
FOR ME TO SAY FINE
I'M THE ONE-MAN-ARMY ASON ♪
♪ THE BASELINE IS

525
00:36:08,468 --> 00:36:11,104
WE JUST SAYIN'
THE SAME KIND ♪
♪ LOVE'S A MASS OFF

526
00:36:11,104 --> 00:36:13,940
TIME TO BLAST OF
BATON OUR PASS OFF
RHYME YOUR ASS OFF ♪

527
00:36:13,940 --> 00:36:16,476
♪ IF WE CLASH OUR HAL
OF TRASH OFF
THEN HAUL OUR CASH OFF

528
00:36:16,476 --> 00:36:19,312
AND BALL IN NASSAU ♪
♪ THAT'S AL
IT AIN'T TOO MUCH TALK

529
00:36:19,312 --> 00:36:22,716
ALL Y'ALL CHUMPS
IT AIN'T ENOUGH CHALK ♪
♪ Y'ALL THOUGHT THE NAM

530
00:36:22,716 --> 00:36:25,785
WAS JUST THOUGHT
COME ON I'M TOO STRONG
FOR YA'LL TO CUT SHORT ♪

531
00:36:25,785 --> 00:36:28,521
♪ YOU SEE LIGHT LIKE MINE
ONCE A LIFETIM
WHEN SOME YOUNG GU

532
00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:30,824
BECOMES AN ICON ♪
♪ BUT SOMEHOW
THEY'LL CUT DOWN

533
00:36:30,824 --> 00:36:33,660
THE FLIGHT TIME ♪
♪ UNLESS YOU PUSH THA
HEAT DOWN THE PIPELINE ♪

534
00:36:33,660 --> 00:36:36,930
♪ MY MIND IS HARD TO EXPLAI
CALL YA'LL ALL ABOAR
FOR THIS TRAIN ♪

535
00:36:36,930 --> 00:36:40,667
♪ I FLOAT LIK
A NAUTILUS MAN
DAMN I LOV

536
00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:44,838
THIS GLORIOUS GAME ♪
♪ AH THEY THINK
THEY DID IT BABY

537
00:36:44,838 --> 00:36:50,176
BACK IN THEY DAY BABY ♪
♪ I SWEAR
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS

538
00:36:50,176 --> 00:36:54,781
SWEAR TO GOD ♪
♪ IF AND THEY DID IT BABY
BACK IN THE DAY BABY

539
00:36:54,781 --> 00:36:58,952
I SWEA
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS ♪
♪ I MIGHT TAKE MY FUR OFF

540
00:36:58,952 --> 00:37:05,191
AND TALK LIKE THIS BAB
I MIGHT PUT MY GAME ON
AND TAKE YO CHICK BABY ♪

541
00:37:05,191 --> 00:37:10,230
♪ I MIGHT PUT MY FUR ON
AND TALK MY ISH BABY
I MIGHT PUT MY GAME ON

542
00:37:10,230 --> 00:37:15,035
AND TAKE YO CHICK BABY ♪
♪ OKAY I'M PROOF THAT
WE ALL SHOULD GET FREE

543
00:37:15,035 --> 00:37:17,671
DIRECT FRO
THE STREETS OF S.P. ♪
♪ WHO ALONE TRYNA

544
00:37:17,671 --> 00:37:20,040
BE THE NEXT THING ♪
FOR REAL I'M JUST TRYN
BE THE BEST ME SO ♪

545
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:24,244
♪ NO GAS I'M HIGHER OCTAN
WHICH ICON AM
IF NOT FLAMES ♪

546
00:37:24,244 --> 00:37:26,646
♪ GODDAMNIT
GUESS WHO NOT LAME
AND LOCKED THE BLOCK DOW

547
00:37:26,646 --> 00:37:30,717
BEFORE THE BLOCK CHAINED ♪
♪ STOP PLAYIN
THE STAKES IS TOO HIGH

548
00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:33,319
SOME SAY LIFE'S A BITC
THEN YOU DIE ♪
♪ PATIENCE BRINGS ALL

549
00:37:33,319 --> 00:37:35,722
THINGS IN DUE TIME
IF YOU'S A REAL ON
WELL THAT'S A TRUE SIGN ♪

550
00:37:35,722 --> 00:37:38,925
♪ MY TIME THE VALUABLE KIND
TAKE THESE WORDS
THE RENDEVOUS-BY ♪

551
00:37:38,925 --> 00:37:43,296
♪ I DROP PSYCHOLOGICAL LINE
Y'ALL STILL ON
THE COMICAL SIDE ♪

552
00:37:43,296 --> 00:37:46,566
♪ SEEKERS KEEP THIS CLOSE
TO YOUR CHES
WEAKNESS KILLED THIS CULTURE

553
00:37:46,566 --> 00:37:48,768
MORE OR LESS ♪
♪ YOUR PROJECTS
IS SUCH A SNOREFES

554
00:37:48,768 --> 00:37:51,938
NO PAYCHEC
JUST EXIT STAGE LEFT ♪
♪ MY MIND I

555
00:37:51,938 --> 00:37:54,341
HARD TO EXPLAI
I CONTAIN ON
MARVELOUS BRAIN ♪

556
00:37:54,341 --> 00:37:57,177
♪ CALL Y'ALL ABOARD
FOR THIS TRAIN ♪
DAMN I LOVE THIS

557
00:37:57,177 --> 00:38:02,449
GLORIOUS GAME ♪
♪ AH THEY THINK
THEY DID IT, BAB

558
00:38:02,449 --> 00:38:06,052
BACK IN THEY DAY BABY ♪
♪ I SWEAR
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS

559
00:38:06,052 --> 00:38:11,558
SWEAR TO GOD ♪
♪ IF AND THEY DID IT BABY
BACK IN THE DAY BABY

560
00:38:11,558 --> 00:38:16,363
I SWEA
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS ♪
♪ I MIGHT PUT MY FUR ON

561
00:38:16,363 --> 00:38:23,136
AND TALK MY ISH BABY
I MIGHT PUT MY GAME ON
AND TAKE YO CHICK BABY ♪

562
00:38:23,136 --> 00:38:27,540
♪ I MIGHT PUT MY FUR ON
AND TALK MY ISH BABY
I MIGHT PUT MY GAME ON

563
00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:39,452
AND TAKE YO CHICK ♪
♪ HEY HEY-YEA
HEY THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS

564
00:38:39,452 --> 00:38:44,157
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS ♪
♪ I SWEAR

565
00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:59,606
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS
GET UP

566
00:38:59,606 --> 00:39:04,511
♪
♪ THESE ARE THE GLORY DAY
THESE ARE THE GLOR

567
00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:10,116
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS
THESE ARE THE GLORY ♪
♪ THESE ARE THE GLORY DAY

568
00:39:10,116 --> 00:39:15,155
THESE ARE THE GLOR
THESE ARE THE GLORY DAYS
BABY ♪

569
00:39:15,155 --> 00:39:25,899
♪ THESE ARE
THE GLORY DAYS ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

570
00:39:25,899 --> 00:39:28,268
Jimmy: THANK YOU, BUD
THANK YOU, MAN
Tariq: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT,

571
00:39:28,268 --> 00:39:34,441
YEAH, YEAH
Jimmy: FANTASTIC.
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, RIGHT

572
00:39:34,441 --> 00:39:36,176
THERE.
COME ON.
BLACK THOUGHT,

573
00:39:36,176 --> 00:39:39,446
EL MICHEL'S AFFAIR, KIRBY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"GLORIOUS GAME" IS OUT NOW

574
00:39:39,446 --> 00:40:00,667
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK EVERYBODY.
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
♪

575
00:40:00,667 --> 00:40:04,070
Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
MICHAEL STRAHAN, JUDY BLUME,
BLACK THOUGHT, EL MICHELS

576
00:40:04,070 --> 00:40:11,077
AFFAIR, KIRBY!
AND, OF COURSE, THE ROOTS,
RIGHT THERE, FROM

577
00:40:11,077 --> 00:40:15,648
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH

578
00:40:15,648 --> 00:40:18,952
SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

579
00:40:18,952 --> 00:40:19,786
♪
♪