1 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,029 >> Steve: FROM ROCKEFELLER 2 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,029 CENTER IN THE HEART OF 3 00:00:25,029 --> 00:00:27,000 NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE 4 00:00:25,029 --> 00:00:27,000 TONIGHT SHOW STARRING 5 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,021 JIMMY FALLON." 6 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,021 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS 7 00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:31,006 GUESTS - 8 00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:31,006 RASHIDA JONES, BILL BURR, MUSIC 9 00:00:31,006 --> 00:00:35,002 GUEST OLD DOMINION 10 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:41,021 AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 11 00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:41,021 ROOTS CREW 12 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:41,021 HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIMMY FALLON 13 00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:48,015 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 14 00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:48,015 ♪ 15 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:52,019 ♪ 16 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:52,019 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 17 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,015 >> Jimmy: HEY! 18 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,015 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 19 00:00:54,015 --> 00:01:01,005 OH 20 00:00:54,015 --> 00:01:01,005 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 21 00:01:01,005 --> 00:01:04,024 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 22 00:01:01,005 --> 00:01:04,024 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. 23 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:08,027 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY 24 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:08,027 WELL, GUYS IT WAS ANOTHER BIG 25 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,001 DAY IN WASHINGTON AS HOUSE 26 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,001 DEMOCRATS FORMALLY INTRODUCED 27 00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:16,005 THE RESOLUTION TO IMPEACH 28 00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:16,005 PRESIDENT TRUMP. 29 00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:18,007 AND IF YOU'RE WATCHING, NO, 30 00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:18,007 THIS IS NOT A REPEAT 31 00:01:18,007 --> 00:01:21,019 YEP, TRUMP IS BEING IMPEACHED 32 00:01:18,007 --> 00:01:21,019 AGAIN. 33 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:25,013 RIGHT NOW EVERYONE IN AMERICA 34 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:25,013 IS HAVING DEJA COUP. 35 00:01:25,013 --> 00:01:27,025 [ LAUGHTER ] 36 00:01:25,013 --> 00:01:27,025 TRUMP WAS CHARGED WITH 37 00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:29,018 "INCITEMENT OF INSURRECTION. 38 00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:29,018 YOU KNOW YOU MESSED UP WHEN 39 00:01:29,018 --> 00:01:34,015 YOU'RE CHARGED WITH THE TITLE 40 00:01:29,018 --> 00:01:34,015 OF A '90S STAR TREK MOVIE. 41 00:01:34,015 --> 00:01:37,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 42 00:01:34,015 --> 00:01:37,018 IT'S NEVER GOOD WHEN CROWDS 43 00:01:37,018 --> 00:01:41,000 RISE TO THE LEVEL OF KLINGON 44 00:01:37,018 --> 00:01:41,000 IT'S LOOKING LIKE ONE MORE 45 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,001 IMPEACHMENT FOR TRUMP. 46 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,001 TRUMP GETS IMPEACHED THE WAY 47 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:49,009 MOST PEOPLE GET VACCINATED, IN 48 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:49,009 TWO DOSES. 49 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,021 SOME PEOPLE SAY IMPEACHING 50 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,021 TRUMP WILL DIVIDE THE COUNTRY. 51 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:53,010 REALLY 52 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:53,010 HOW MUCH MORE DIVIDED CAN THE 53 00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,016 COUNTRY GET? 54 00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,016 WE'RE CURRENTLY IN A STATE OF 55 00:01:56,016 --> 00:02:00,003 MONOPOLY GAME AFTER 56 00:01:56,016 --> 00:02:00,003 THANKSGIVING 57 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,027 THAT'S WHERE WE ARE. 58 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,027 MEANWHILE, SOME OF TRUMP'S MOST 59 00:02:02,027 --> 00:02:04,003 LOYAL DEFENDERS ARE SAYING WE 60 00:02:02,027 --> 00:02:04,003 SHOULDN'T KICK HIM WHILE HE'S 61 00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:09,010 DOWN 62 00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:09,010 EVEN "THE KARATE KID" IS GOING 63 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:13,022 THIS ONE TIME FEELS OKAY I 64 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:13,022 THINK. 65 00:02:13,022 --> 00:02:16,015 SWEEP THE LEG, SWEEP THE LEG 66 00:02:13,022 --> 00:02:16,015 IF YOU THINK TRUMP IS UPSET 67 00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:18,027 ABOUT GETTING IMPEACHED, 68 00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:18,027 IMAGINE HOW HE FELT THE OTHER 69 00:02:18,027 --> 00:02:21,003 DAY WHEN TWITTER ANNOUNCED 70 00:02:18,027 --> 00:02:21,003 THEY'RE PERMANENTLY SUSPENDING 71 00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:23,005 HIS ACCOUNT. 72 00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:23,005 A LIFETIME BAN 73 00:02:23,005 --> 00:02:33,007 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 74 00:02:23,005 --> 00:02:33,007 A LIFETIME BAN 75 00:02:33,007 --> 00:02:37,004 TRUMP'S BASICALLY THE PETE ROSE 76 00:02:33,007 --> 00:02:37,004 OF SOCIAL MEDIA. 77 00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:38,011 RIGHT NOW TRUMP'S PHONE IS 78 00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:38,011 STUFFED INTO A PILE OF RICE 79 00:02:38,011 --> 00:02:43,024 AFTER BEING DRENCHED WITH 80 00:02:38,011 --> 00:02:43,024 TEARS. 81 00:02:43,024 --> 00:02:44,029 THE GOOD NEWS IS NOW TWITTER 82 00:02:43,024 --> 00:02:44,029 CAN GO BACK TO WHAT IT USED TO 83 00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:50,022 BE FOR, JUDGING CELEBRITIES AT 84 00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:50,022 AWARD SHOWS. 85 00:02:50,022 --> 00:02:51,028 IN ADDITION TO TWITTER, TRUMP 86 00:02:50,022 --> 00:02:51,028 HAS BEEN BANNED OR RESTRICTED 87 00:02:51,028 --> 00:02:53,001 FROM APPLE, FACEBOOK, 88 00:02:51,028 --> 00:02:53,001 INSTAGRAM, SNAPCHAT, GOOGLE, 89 00:02:53,001 --> 00:03:00,010 AMAZON, PINTEREST, TIKTOK -- 90 00:02:53,001 --> 00:03:00,010 [ BREATH ] 91 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,008 -- YOUTUBE, REDDIT, TWITCH, 92 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,008 STRIPE, DISCORD AND SHOPIFY. 93 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:08,011 [ LAUGHTER ] 94 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:08,011 TRUMP STARTED THIS YEAR 95 00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:09,018 THINKING HE SHOULD BE ON MT. 96 00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:09,018 RUSHMORE, NOW CAN'T GET ON 97 00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:13,026 INSTAGRAM. 98 00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:13,026 IN ONE WEEKEND, TRUMP'S PHONE 99 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:18,004 BECAME A $2,000 FLASHLIGHT 100 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:18,004 [ LAUGHTER ] 101 00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:25,018 [ APPLAUSE ] 102 00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:25,018 NOW TRUMP CAN'T TWEET, SNAP, 103 00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:27,024 POST OR STREAM 104 00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:27,024 IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD HE CAN'T 105 00:03:27,024 --> 00:03:33,017 EVEN SELL EMBROIDERED PILLOWS 106 00:03:27,024 --> 00:03:33,017 ON ETSY. 107 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:36,010 OF COURSE NOW WE'RE GOING TO 108 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:36,010 HAVE TO SETTLE WITH HIM HOLDING 109 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:37,016 50 PRESS CONFERENCES A DAY AND 110 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:37,016 YELLING 280 CHARACTERS AT 111 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:40,028 A TIME 112 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:40,028 IT'S 2:00 A.M., TIME FOR 113 00:03:40,028 --> 00:03:44,002 ANOTHER PRESS CONFERENCE 114 00:03:40,028 --> 00:03:44,002 IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD, PGA WILL NO 115 00:03:44,002 --> 00:03:45,006 LONGER HOLD THE 2022 PGA 116 00:03:44,002 --> 00:03:45,006 CHAMPIONSHIP AT TRUMP NATIONAL 117 00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:51,019 GOLF CLUB IN BEDMINSTER, NEW 118 00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:51,019 JERSEY 119 00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:59,003 [ APPLAUSE ] 120 00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:59,003 NO MORE TWITTER, NO MORE PGA 121 00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,010 IF DIET COKE COMES OUT AGAINST 122 00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,010 TRUMP, HE'S GOING TO LOSE HIS 123 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:02,017 MIND 124 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:02,017 AGAIN. 125 00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:05,026 LET'S CHANGE GEARS 126 00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:05,026 NICKELODEON AIRED FIRST EVER 127 00:04:05,026 --> 00:04:12,019 KID-FRIENDLY BROADCAST OF AN 128 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:12,019 NFL PLAYOFF GAME 129 00:04:07,015 --> 00:04:12,019 CHECK OUT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE. 130 00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:17,003 >> NOW PLUNGING FORWARD. 131 00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:17,003 END ZONE AND TOUCHDOWN 132 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:21,018 >> AI MEANND THERE'S THE SLIME 133 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:21,018 [ IMITATING FOG HORN ] 134 00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:25,019 >> AND NOW WILL LUTZ WILL COME 135 00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:25,019 ON FOR THE EXTRA POINT 136 00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:27,015 AND HE KICKS IT RIGHT THROUGH 137 00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:27,015 SPONGEBOB. 138 00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:31,010 [ LAUGHTER ] 139 00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:31,010 >> Jimmy: YEAH 140 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,018 THAT ACTUALLY LOOKED NORMAL TO 141 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,018 ME, THEN AGAIN, I WATCH EVERY 142 00:04:32,018 --> 00:04:36,001 GAME AFTER DROPPING AN INSANE 143 00:04:32,018 --> 00:04:36,001 AMOUNT OF ACID 144 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:39,009 [ LAUGHTER ] 145 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:39,009 "RIGHT THROUGH SPONGEBOB THERE, 146 00:04:39,009 --> 00:04:42,027 CONGRATULATIONS. 147 00:04:39,009 --> 00:04:42,027 [ LAUGHTER ] 148 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:44,026 IT WAS GREAT 149 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:44,026 THE SLIME CANNONS. 150 00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:46,025 IT WAS AWESOME 151 00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:46,025 A LOT OF PEOPLE ENJOYED SEEING 152 00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:49,011 THE GAME LIKE THIS 153 00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:49,011 I MEAN, IT WAS WAY BETTER THAN 154 00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:53,012 THE TIME THEY HAD THE RUGRATS 155 00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:53,012 HOST A UFC FIGHT 156 00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:56,007 [ LAUGHTER ] 157 00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:56,007 THAT JUST DIDN'T WORK. 158 00:04:56,007 --> 00:04:57,010 ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, HBO 159 00:04:56,007 --> 00:04:57,010 ANNOUNCED THEY ARE REBOOTING 160 00:04:57,010 --> 00:05:00,019 "SEX AND THE CITY. 161 00:04:57,010 --> 00:05:00,019 YEAH 162 00:05:00,019 --> 00:05:05,013 [ APPLAUSE ] 163 00:05:00,019 --> 00:05:05,013 EVEN CRAZIER, THERE'S ALSO 164 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,005 GOING TO BE A VERSION THAT AIRS 165 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,005 ON NICKELODEON 166 00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:12,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 167 00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:12,018 YEP, EVERYONE IS BACK, EXCEPT 168 00:05:12,018 --> 00:05:16,021 KIM CATTRALL WON'T REPRISE HER 169 00:05:12,018 --> 00:05:16,021 ROLE AS SAMANTHA 170 00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,025 IT'S LIKE "THE AVENGERS" 171 00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,025 REBOOTING, BUT THOR IS LIKE YOU 172 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:25,005 WON'T BE SEEING THIS HAMMER. 173 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:25,005 [ LAUGHTER ] 174 00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:27,012 [ DRUM ] 175 00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:27,012 YEP, 17 YEARS AFTER THE FINAL 176 00:05:27,012 --> 00:05:31,021 EPISODE, "SEX AND THE CITY" 177 00:05:27,012 --> 00:05:31,021 COMING BACK. 178 00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:32,027 THEY ALREADY RELEASED AN 179 00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:32,027 EPISODE AND FIRST 20 MINUTES IS 180 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:36,013 MR. BIG WAITING FOR HIS PILL TO 181 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:36,013 KICK IN. 182 00:05:36,013 --> 00:05:42,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 183 00:05:36,013 --> 00:05:42,018 AND FINALLY I SAW THAT DWAYNE 184 00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:44,010 "THE ROCK" JOHNSON IS LAUNCHING 185 00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:44,010 A HEALTHY ENERGY DRINK CALLED 186 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,008 ZOA. 187 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,008 YOU CAN TELL THE DRINK IS GOOD, 188 00:05:47,008 --> 00:05:48,012 NANCY PELOSI JUST CHUGGED ONE, 189 00:05:47,008 --> 00:05:48,012 CRUSHED THE CAN ON HER 190 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:53,021 FOREHEAD, SAID, "LET'S IMPEACH 191 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:53,021 THIS JIMBRONI. 192 00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:58,024 WE GOT A GREAT SHOW. 193 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:58,024 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 194 00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:58,024 EVERYBODY. 195 00:06:01,011 --> 00:06:09,024 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 196 00:06:01,011 --> 00:06:09,024 >> Jimmy: HI EVERYONE. 197 00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,000 THANK YOU VERY MUCH.5 IT IS 198 00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,000 MONDAY 199 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,012 WE'RE EXCITED TO BE BACK 200 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,012 WE HAVE EXCITING BUNCH OF SHOWS 201 00:06:14,012 --> 00:06:18,000 AHEAD. 202 00:06:14,012 --> 00:06:18,000 NICOLE KIDMAN WILL BE HERE 203 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,015 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 204 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,015 AMAZING. 205 00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:23,000 DID YOU SEE "THE UNDOING." 206 00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:23,000 >> Tariq: YEAH, I DID. 207 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,002 >> Jimmy: SHE CRUSHED IT 208 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,002 ANTHONY MACKIE 209 00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:29,014 OH I LOVE ANTHONY MACKIE WILL 210 00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:29,014 BE HERE, I LOVE ANTHONY MACKIE 211 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:33,015 PLUS, ANNE HATHAWAY, 212 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:33,015 ANGELA BASSETT, LILY SINGH 213 00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:35,020 OH, STAY UP LATE TONIGHT 214 00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:35,020 LILLY SINGH IS PREMIERING AFTER 215 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:40,008 SETH 216 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:40,008 SO IT'S ME, SETH AND LILY. 217 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:45,010 WE LOVE YOU LILLY SINGH. 218 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:45,010 CHECK OUT LILLY TONIGHT. 219 00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,009 BUT FIRST WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 220 00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,009 FOR YOU TONIGHT. 221 00:06:47,009 --> 00:06:48,024 SHE STARS ON THE MOVIE "ON THE 222 00:06:47,009 --> 00:06:48,024 ROCKS" ON APPLE TV PLUS. 223 00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:55,015 RASHIDA JONES IS HERE. 224 00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:55,015 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 225 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,020 PLUS FROM THE FILM "THE KING OF 226 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,020 STATEN ISLAND" AND "THE 227 00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,000 MANDALORIAN," BILL BURR IS 228 00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,000 HERE 229 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:05,019 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 230 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:05,019 THAT DUDE IS NEXT LEVEL FUNNY. 231 00:07:05,019 --> 00:07:07,023 >> Tariq: YEAH MAN 232 00:07:05,019 --> 00:07:07,023 >> Jimmy: HE'S ON A DIFFERENT 233 00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:09,025 WORLD, MAN 234 00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:09,025 IT'S JUST -- GOD, I JUST LOVE 235 00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:12,020 THAT GUY SO MUCH 236 00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:12,020 AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM 237 00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:20,009 OLD DOMINION 238 00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:20,009 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 239 00:07:20,009 --> 00:07:21,015 GUYS, IT CAN BE HARD TO SAY 240 00:07:20,009 --> 00:07:21,015 GOODBYE, BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE 241 00:07:21,015 --> 00:07:25,004 TO 242 00:07:21,015 --> 00:07:25,004 AND THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I 243 00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:28,002 WOULD LIKE TO SAY GOODBYE TO 244 00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:28,002 NOW. 245 00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:30,014 IT'S TIME FOR "GO ON, GIT. 246 00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:30,014 ♪ GO ON GIT 247 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:47,006 GO ON GI 248 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:47,006 GO ON GO ON GO ON GIT ♪ 249 00:07:47,006 --> 00:07:50,014 >> GO ON, GIT, RUBBER CEMENT 250 00:07:47,006 --> 00:07:50,014 WHICH ARE YOU? 251 00:07:50,014 --> 00:07:55,015 RUBBER OR CEMENT 252 00:07:50,014 --> 00:07:55,015 OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE YOU'RE 253 00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:56,018 SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT 254 00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:56,018 ALTOGETHER, SOME STRANGE 255 00:07:56,018 --> 00:08:02,011 CONCOCTION THAT THE HUMAN MIND 256 00:07:56,018 --> 00:08:02,011 CAN'T CURRENTLY COMPREHEND 257 00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:03,021 AND I BET THEY'VE EVEN GOT A 258 00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:03,021 A NAME FOR IT -- 259 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:14,008 GLUE 260 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:14,008 NOW GO ON, GIT 261 00:08:14,008 --> 00:08:17,000 GO ON GIT, JACK PLAYING CARD 262 00:08:14,008 --> 00:08:17,000 WHAT IS YOUR JOB IN THE PLAYING 263 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,003 CARD MONARCHY? 264 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,003 YOU AIN'T A KING, YOU AIN'T 265 00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:25,020 A QUEEN, AS FAR AS I CAN - 266 00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:25,020 [ LAUGHTER ] 267 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:36,008 AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, AS FAR AS 268 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:36,008 I CAN TELL, CHOKING HAZARD 269 00:08:36,008 --> 00:08:37,014 AS FAR AS I CAN TELL YOU'RE 270 00:08:36,008 --> 00:08:37,014 JUST SOME DUDE HANGING OUT 271 00:08:37,014 --> 00:08:40,020 AFTER THE NUMBER 10. 272 00:08:37,014 --> 00:08:40,020 I'M TELLING THE DEALER TO HIT 273 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:55,010 AND I'M TELLING YOU TO GIT 274 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:55,010 GO ON GIT, QTIPS, Y'ALL AIN'T 275 00:08:55,010 --> 00:09:04,007 NOTHING BUT A TOOTHPICK WITH 276 00:08:55,010 --> 00:09:04,007 GOLDEN GIRLS HAIR. 277 00:09:04,007 --> 00:09:13,013 GIT. 278 00:09:04,007 --> 00:09:13,013 GO ON GIT, BREAKING NEWS 279 00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,021 I KNOW IT'S BREAKING, THAT'S 280 00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,021 WHAT MAKES IT NEWS 281 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,011 AIN'T NO NEWS SHOW CALLED OLD 282 00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:39,014 NEWS AND BESIDES -- HOLD UP, 283 00:09:16,028 --> 00:09:39,014 BREAKING NEWS. 284 00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:39,014 GIT! 285 00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:50,004 GO ON GIT. 286 00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:50,004 ROOMBAS. 287 00:09:50,004 --> 00:09:51,010 I KNOW YOU'RE TO SAVE TIME BUT 288 00:09:50,004 --> 00:09:51,010 WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE JUST GOING 289 00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:52,017 OVER THE SAME SPOT TEN TIMES, 290 00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:52,017 MOVING MY CHAIRS AROUND AND 291 00:09:52,017 --> 00:09:59,005 THEN FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS 292 00:09:52,017 --> 00:09:59,005 GO HOME, ROOMBA, YOU'RE DRUNK, 293 00:09:59,005 --> 00:10:00,009 AND ON YOUR WAY OUT, GET A 294 00:09:59,005 --> 00:10:00,009 A SLICE OF GO ON TO HELP SOAK 295 00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:07,016 UP THE GIT 296 00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:07,016 GOT THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. 297 00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:08,022 WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE OF 298 00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:08,022 "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. 299 00:10:08,022 --> 00:10:29,007 ♪ 300 00:10:08,022 --> 00:10:29,007 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK 301 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:30,015 EVERYBODY, KNOW IT CAN BE HARD 302 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:30,015 TO MAKE BIG LIFE DECISIONS, AND 303 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:34,028 SOMETIMES WE CAN ALL USE A 304 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:34,028 A LITTLE HELP. 305 00:10:34,028 --> 00:10:35,028 WITH THAT IN MIND, IT'S TIME 306 00:10:34,028 --> 00:10:35,028 FOR "LIFE COACH WITH 307 00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:43,007 BILL BURR. 308 00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:43,007 ♪ LIFE COACH WITH BILL BURR ♪ 309 00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:50,000 >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. 310 00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:50,000 ♪ LIFE COACH ♪ 311 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,023 JOINED NOW BY LIFE COACH 312 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,023 BILL BURR. 313 00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:57,017 >> MIGHT BE THE HEIGHT OF THE 314 00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:57,017 SEGMENT, THAT LITTLE SONG. 315 00:10:57,017 --> 00:10:59,009 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE VIEWERS SEND 316 00:10:57,017 --> 00:10:59,009 IN QUESTIONS THEY NEED YOUR 317 00:10:59,009 --> 00:11:01,024 COACHING ON. 318 00:10:59,009 --> 00:11:01,024 WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO GIVE 319 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:06,025 TOUGH ADVICE 320 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:06,025 >> THAT'S RIGHT, IF YOU CAN'T 321 00:11:06,025 --> 00:11:08,015 AFFORD A PROFESSIONAL, ASK 322 00:11:06,025 --> 00:11:08,015 SOMEONE WITH NO DEGREE 323 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:12,023 LET'S DO IT. 324 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:12,023 >> Jimmy: FIRST ONE SAYS, "I'M 325 00:11:12,023 --> 00:11:14,015 READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP 326 00:11:12,023 --> 00:11:14,015 WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND MOVE IN 327 00:11:14,015 --> 00:11:18,000 TOGETHER 328 00:11:14,015 --> 00:11:18,000 BUT HE SAYS HE CAN'T BECAUSE 329 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,019 HE'S ALLERGIC TO MY CAT. 330 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,019 I LOVE MY CAT, I CAN'T GET RID 331 00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:23,001 OF HER 332 00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:23,001 WHAT SHOULD I DO?" 333 00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,000 >> WELL, IT'S GREAT THAT YOU 334 00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,000 LOVE YOUR CAT BECAUSE YOUR 335 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,022 BOYFRIEND DOESN'T LOVE YOU 336 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,022 ALL RIGHT? 337 00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:30,014 IF HE LOVED YOU, HE WOULD HAVE 338 00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:30,014 MOVED IN WITH YOU. 339 00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:34,012 OR IF HE LOVED YOU AT THAT 340 00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:34,012 LEVEL. 341 00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:37,007 LIKE IF I MET -- WHAT I MET MY 342 00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:37,007 WIFE, WOMAN OF MY DREAMS, IF 343 00:11:37,007 --> 00:11:39,009 SHE HAD A CAT AND I WAS 344 00:11:37,007 --> 00:11:39,009 ALLERGIC, I WOULD HAVE FIGURED 345 00:11:39,009 --> 00:11:42,021 SOMETHING OUT. 346 00:11:39,009 --> 00:11:42,021 YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, THINK 347 00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:50,011 ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME, BUT YOU 348 00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:50,011 GOT A CAT SO - 349 00:11:50,011 --> 00:11:52,003 I THINK HE ENJOYS HAVING SEX 350 00:11:50,011 --> 00:11:52,003 WITH YOU, BUT DOESN'T WANT TO 351 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:57,010 GO ANY FURTHER 352 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:57,010 I HOPE YOU GOT A NICE CAT. 353 00:11:57,010 --> 00:12:00,022 >> Jimmy: LOVE THAT. 354 00:11:57,010 --> 00:12:00,022 NUMBER TWO 355 00:12:00,022 --> 00:12:02,021 I'M GETTING MARRIED IN JUNE, 356 00:12:00,022 --> 00:12:02,021 BUT THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH MY 357 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,020 COWORKER JOSH. 358 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,020 I DON'T WANT TO BREAK MY 359 00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:07,015 FIANCE'S HEART, AND UPSET OUR 360 00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:07,015 FAMILIES, BUT I'M AFRAID IF I 361 00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:09,004 GO THROUGH WITH IT, I'LL REGRET 362 00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:09,004 IT 363 00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:13,009 HELP 364 00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:13,009 >> YEAH. 365 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,008 DON'T MARRY THE GUY. 366 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,008 >> Jimmy: YEAH 367 00:12:16,008 --> 00:12:17,013 >> I DON'T EVEN THINK YOU'RE IN 368 00:12:16,008 --> 00:12:17,013 LOVE WITH THE GUY YOU'RE 369 00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:21,006 WORKING WITH 370 00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:21,006 >> Jimmy: ME NEITHER 371 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,014 >> YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE -- YOU 372 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,014 DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 373 00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:25,010 PROBLEM IS, JIMMY, THEY NEVER 374 00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:25,010 TEACH YOU HOW TO BREAK UP WITH 375 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,008 SOMEBODY 376 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,008 THIS PERSON HAS PROBABLY WANTED 377 00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:32,023 TO GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP 378 00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:32,023 FOR WHAT WOULD YOU SAY 379 00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:36,008 AT LEAST A YEAR, MAYBE TWO 380 00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:36,008 >> Jimmy: YEP. 381 00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:40,006 >> WHAT THIS PERSON REALLY 382 00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:40,006 NEEDS IT HELP HOW TO BREAK UP. 383 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:44,017 ALL YOU SAY IS WE NEED TO TALK 384 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:44,017 AND WHEN HE SITS DOWN SAY 385 00:12:44,017 --> 00:12:46,026 "LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO MARRY 386 00:12:44,017 --> 00:12:46,026 YOU. 387 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,022 JUST GET IT OUT THERE. 388 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,022 NOW THE BAND-AID'S BEEN RIPPED 389 00:12:49,022 --> 00:12:51,024 OFF. 390 00:12:49,022 --> 00:12:51,024 WHATEVER HE'S GOING TO DO, IT'S 391 00:12:51,024 --> 00:12:55,025 GOING TO CRUSH HIM 392 00:12:51,024 --> 00:12:55,025 BREAK HIS HEART. 393 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:58,004 BUT WOULD BE WAY WORSE IF YOU 394 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:58,004 BROKE HIS HEART A COUPLE 395 00:12:58,004 --> 00:13:01,009 DECADES, AND COUPLE OF KIDS 396 00:12:58,004 --> 00:13:01,009 FROM NOW 397 00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:03,012 YOU KNOW 398 00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:03,012 JUST GET OUT OF IT 399 00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:07,023 "I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU." 400 00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:07,023 >> Jimmy: I TOTALLY AGREE. 401 00:13:07,023 --> 00:13:14,003 >> BANG THAT GUY AT WORK, BUT 402 00:13:07,023 --> 00:13:14,003 YOU DON'T LOVE HIM EITHER. 403 00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,013 >> Jimmy: "I JUST MOVED IN WITH 404 00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,013 MY GIRLFRIEND AND SHE SNORES 405 00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:16,019 TERRIBLY 406 00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:16,019 I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND HER BY 407 00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:18,021 SLEEPING IN ANOTHER ROOM, BUT 408 00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:18,021 ALSO WANT TO GET SOME SLEEP. 409 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:25,028 WHAT SHOULD I DO?" 410 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:25,028 >> STOP THINKING THAT WOMEN ARE 411 00:13:25,028 --> 00:13:29,006 SO PRECIOUS. 412 00:13:25,028 --> 00:13:29,006 THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS 413 00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:31,012 THEY'RE JUST LIKE MEN. 414 00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:31,012 THEY MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES AND 415 00:13:31,012 --> 00:13:36,022 HAVE FAULTS. 416 00:13:31,012 --> 00:13:36,022 THIS DYNAMIC WHEN YOU GET IN 417 00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,017 RELATIONSHIPS, WOMEN CAN 418 00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,017 BASICALLY SAY, ANYTHING TO WORK 419 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,019 ON THEY BRING UP BUT YOU 420 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,019 APPROACH LIKE END OF ACTION 421 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:49,003 MOVIE, WHAT WIRE I CAN I SNIP 422 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:49,003 SO THIS THING DOESN'T BLOW UP. 423 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:53,027 YOU GOT TO SIT THERE AND SAY 424 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:53,027 LISTEN 425 00:13:53,027 --> 00:13:55,017 NOT SAYING I DON'T LOVE YOU OR 426 00:13:53,027 --> 00:13:55,017 CARE ABOUT YOU 427 00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:56,026 BUT YOU SOUND LIKE A DUMP TRUCK 428 00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:56,026 FULL OF PEAT MOSS BACK UP EVERY 429 00:13:56,026 --> 00:14:04,026 NIGHT AND I CAN'T GET TO SLEEP 430 00:13:56,026 --> 00:14:04,026 I DON'T WANT YOU TO WEAR A 431 00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:11,007 A SCUBA MASK, YOU KNOW, SO CAN 432 00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:11,007 I JUST SLEEP IN THE OTHER ROOM 433 00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:12,016 >> Jimmy: OR CAN WE GET 434 00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:12,016 A BREATHE RIGHT STRIP? 435 00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:15,029 THERE'S THINGS WE CAN DO 436 00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:15,029 >> YOUR SNORING IS AS UGLY AS 437 00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,027 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, HONEY, I 438 00:14:15,029 --> 00:14:17,027 HAVE TO SLEEP DOWN THE HALL. 439 00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:21,009 THIS IS A GREAT EXERCISE 440 00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:21,009 THOUGH 441 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:22,014 THERE'S THIS WHOLE NARRATIVE 442 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:22,014 THAT GUYS ARE JUST A-HOLES TO 443 00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:24,028 OUR GIRLS, EVERY ONE OF US 444 00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:24,028 MOST ARE JUST LIKE THIS GUY, 445 00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:32,006 AFRAID, DON'T WANT TO SAY 446 00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:32,006 ANYTHING, BUT YOUR MOM PUSHED 447 00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:38,011 MY KID DOWN THE STAIRS THE 448 00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:38,011 OTHER DAY. 449 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,027 I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU 450 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,027 YOU JUST GOT TO GET IT OUT 451 00:14:39,027 --> 00:14:41,013 THERE. 452 00:14:39,027 --> 00:14:41,013 MY WIFE SNORES, I JUST TAKE MY 453 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:49,002 FOOT AND SLOWLY PUSH HER OUT OF 454 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:49,002 THE BED. 455 00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:52,007 >> Jimmy: OKAY 456 00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:52,007 HERE WE GO 457 00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:54,009 >> SHE DOES IT TO ME TOO 458 00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:54,009 WAKE ME UP, YOU GOT TO GET OUT 459 00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:57,028 OF HERE. 460 00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:57,028 IF I SNORE, SHE'S LIKE GET OUT 461 00:14:57,028 --> 00:14:59,022 OF HERE. 462 00:14:57,028 --> 00:14:59,022 HANDS ME THE PILLOW AND 463 00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:03,007 COMFORTER. 464 00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:03,007 I DON'T WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY 465 00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:09,020 UPSET WITH HER 466 00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:09,020 >> Jimmy: NO 467 00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:14,005 >> HONESTY 468 00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:14,005 >> Jimmy: MY ROOMMATE KEEPS 469 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:15,021 LEAVING DISHES IN THE SINK AND 470 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:15,021 FORGETS TO WASH THEM 471 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:18,012 HE DOESN'T EVEN WIPE OFF THE 472 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:18,012 FOOD 473 00:15:18,012 --> 00:15:19,025 ALREADY TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT 474 00:15:18,012 --> 00:15:19,025 TWICE BUT HE KEEPS DOING IT. 475 00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:25,003 HOW DO I GET HIM TO CHANGE 476 00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:25,003 >> FIRST OF ALL ADDRESS THE 477 00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:28,010 HONESTY OF THE SITUATION 478 00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:28,010 HE DOESN'T KEEP FORGETTING 479 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,009 WHAT HAPPENS IS YOU KEEP 480 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,009 WASHING HIS DISHES 481 00:15:31,009 --> 00:15:32,016 AND YOU'RE NOT CALLING HIM ON 482 00:15:31,009 --> 00:15:32,016 HIS [ BLEEP ] -- SORRY, YOU'RE 483 00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:38,023 NOT CALLING HIM ON HIS 484 00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:38,023 BUSINESS 485 00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:44,001 CAN YOU BEAT THIS GUY UP 486 00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:44,001 IF YOU CAN, YOU CAN THREATEN 487 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:48,014 VIOLENCE, USE THE THREAT OF 488 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:48,014 VIOLENCE 489 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,022 YOU DON'T DO THIS, I'M GOING TO 490 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,022 BEAT THE [ BLEEP ] OUT OF YOU, 491 00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:50,027 WHICH YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY 492 00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:50,027 THAT ANYMORE DESPITE WHEN 493 00:15:50,027 --> 00:15:56,026 SOMEBODY NEEDS AN ASS KICKING. 494 00:15:50,027 --> 00:15:56,026 SO JIMMY, WE GOT GO MORE 495 00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:59,029 PROGRESSIVE HERE 496 00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:59,029 >> Jimmy: OKAY 497 00:15:59,029 --> 00:16:03,014 BUT LEAVING DISHES IN THE SINK, 498 00:15:59,029 --> 00:16:03,014 THIS IS -- TALENT HIM? 499 00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:04,022 >> JUST START SCRAPING THE FOOD 500 00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:04,022 OFF HIS PLATE AND PUTTING IT IN 501 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:09,006 HIS PILLOW CASE. 502 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:09,006 BUT BE NICE, LEAVE A POST-IT 503 00:16:09,006 --> 00:16:11,009 YOU KEEP FORGETTING YOUR FOOD 504 00:16:09,006 --> 00:16:11,009 ON THE PLATE SO FIGURED WOULD 505 00:16:11,009 --> 00:16:16,013 PUT IN PLACE YOU WOULD REMEMBER 506 00:16:11,009 --> 00:16:16,013 IT 507 00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:17,021 DON'T DO IT AND NOT SAY THAT 508 00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:17,021 YOU DID IT BECAUSE THEN YOU'RE 509 00:16:17,021 --> 00:16:20,014 GOING TO LOOK LIKE SOME CHICK 510 00:16:17,021 --> 00:16:20,014 WHO KEYED HIS CAR. 511 00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:24,016 YOU GOT TO LET HIM KNOW YOU DID 512 00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:24,016 IT 513 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,005 WHEN HE COMES OUT, LISTEN I'M 514 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,005 NOT YOUR MAID AND YOU'RE NOT 515 00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:30,029 FORGETTING AND I'M NOT CLEANING 516 00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:30,029 UP AFTER YOU 517 00:16:30,029 --> 00:16:32,005 DO IT AGAIN, I'M GOING TO TAKE 518 00:16:30,029 --> 00:16:32,005 BIGGEST PLATE THAT I CAN FIND 519 00:16:32,005 --> 00:16:36,019 THAT YOU USED OR I USED AND 520 00:16:32,005 --> 00:16:36,019 SMASH IT OVER YOUR HEAD. 521 00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:38,002 I HATE TO SAY THAT, BUT 522 00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:38,002 VIOLENCE IS ONLY THING PEOPLE 523 00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:45,029 LIKE THAT UNDERSTAND 524 00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:45,029 THE THREAT OF VIOLENCE 525 00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:47,011 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO DO THIS ALL 526 00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:47,011 NIGHT LONG 527 00:16:47,011 --> 00:16:51,021 >> MY NEW SELF-HELP BOOK 528 00:16:47,011 --> 00:16:51,021 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LAST ONE 529 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:54,018 HERE 530 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:54,018 FIGURED I WOULD SAY THIS - 531 00:16:54,018 --> 00:16:56,013 >> OUT OF EVERYBODY, THAT GUY 532 00:16:54,018 --> 00:16:56,013 BUGGED ME THE MOST 533 00:16:56,013 --> 00:16:58,019 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY 534 00:16:56,013 --> 00:16:58,019 >> OH, YEAH. 535 00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:03,016 I LIVED WITH A GUY LIKE THAT 536 00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:03,016 >> Jimmy: FORGET TO WASH THEM. 537 00:17:03,016 --> 00:17:04,019 BRINGING THIS UP BECAUSE YOU 538 00:17:03,016 --> 00:17:04,019 HAVE TWO BABIES, BEAUTIFUL 539 00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:06,002 FOUR-YEAR-OLD. 540 00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:06,002 MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER EMMA 541 00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:15,027 REFUSES TO EAT HER VEGETABLES, 542 00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:15,027 ALL SHE WANTS IS DESSERT 543 00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:17,005 IF I TRY TO HIDE THE VEGETABLES 544 00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:17,005 IN OTHER FOODS SHE JUST PICKS 545 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:20,015 THEM OUT AND THROWS THEM ON THE 546 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:20,015 FLOOR. 547 00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:22,014 PLEASE HELP. 548 00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:22,014 >> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT 549 00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:25,020 HAPPENS. 550 00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:25,020 SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOVE YOUR 551 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,024 KIDS SO MUCH YOU'RE AFRAID TO 552 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,024 DISCIPLINE THEM AND YOU'RE 553 00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:28,000 LITERALLY GOTTEN TO -- READING 554 00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:28,000 THAT QUESTION, I UNDERSTAND IT 555 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,007 AS A PARENT BUT ALSO IT'S KIND 556 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,007 OF HILARIOUS THAT YOU'RE ACTING 557 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:37,006 LIKE THIS FIVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL 558 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:37,006 CAN BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU 559 00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:40,005 YOU'RE THE PARENT, SHE'S THE 560 00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:40,005 KID. 561 00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:41,014 TELL THE KID THEY HAVE TO SIT 562 00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:41,014 UNTIL THEY FINISH VEGETABLES 563 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:48,008 AND DESSERT SHOULD BE SOMETHING 564 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:48,008 SOMETHING OCCASIONALLY HAVE. 565 00:17:48,008 --> 00:17:49,012 YOU HAVE TO UNDO WHAT YOU DO, 566 00:17:48,008 --> 00:17:49,012 LET THIS KID GET AWAY WITH 567 00:17:49,012 --> 00:17:55,019 MURDER 568 00:17:49,012 --> 00:17:55,019 FACT THAT KID IS THROWING 569 00:17:55,019 --> 00:17:56,023 VEGETABLES ON THE FLOOR AND 570 00:17:55,019 --> 00:17:56,023 YOU'RE TOLERATING IT IS YOUR 571 00:17:56,023 --> 00:18:01,009 OWN DAMNED FAULT 572 00:17:56,023 --> 00:18:01,009 KID IS ACTING LIKE IT'S GOT ITS 573 00:18:01,009 --> 00:18:04,003 OWN SITCOM SERIES. 574 00:18:01,009 --> 00:18:04,003 IT'S NOT PAYING RENT, NO 575 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:10,022 BARGAINING CHIPS 576 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:10,022 >> Jimmy: NOT UNBOXING TOYS OR 577 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:14,016 ANYTHING 578 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:14,016 >> IT'S NOT "RYAN'S WORLD. 579 00:18:14,016 --> 00:18:20,012 DAUGHTER LOVES THAT WORLD. 580 00:18:14,016 --> 00:18:20,012 ONE OF THE FEW TIMES I LIE TO 581 00:18:20,012 --> 00:18:23,018 MY DAUGHTER, CAN I WATCH RYAN, 582 00:18:20,012 --> 00:18:23,018 NO HE'S SLEEPING 583 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:30,002 I COULDN'T DO IT 584 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:30,002 FINALLY SAID DADDY CAN ONLY 585 00:18:30,002 --> 00:18:35,025 HANDLE 20 MINUTES OF THAT SHOW, 586 00:18:30,002 --> 00:18:35,025 SORRY. 587 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:37,001 I CAN WATCH BUGS BUNNY ALL DAY 588 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:37,001 LONG, I CAN WATCH "SESAME 589 00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:42,028 STREET" THERE'S JOKES FOR ME 590 00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:42,028 TOO. 591 00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:44,005 I WATCH "RYAN'S WORLD" AND I'M 592 00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:44,005 FASCINATED WITH THE PARENTS' 593 00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:52,010 ENERGY 594 00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:52,010 I GET THEIR ALL MAKING CASH BUT 595 00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:56,002 I FEEL BAD FOR THEM. 596 00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:56,002 I DON'T WANT TO JINX RYAN BUT I 597 00:18:56,002 --> 00:19:06,013 DON'T THINK THAT MARRIAGE IS 598 00:18:56,002 --> 00:19:06,013 GOING TO LAST. 599 00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:09,019 GETTING BACK TO THE LITTLE KID 600 00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:09,019 WITH THE VEGETABLES, YOU'RE 601 00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:13,023 GOING TO HAVE TO SIT THROUGH 602 00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:13,023 EPIC MELTDOWNS AND MAKE HER EAT 603 00:19:13,023 --> 00:19:16,022 THE VEGETABLES AND YOU'RE DOING 604 00:19:13,023 --> 00:19:16,022 A GOOD THING 605 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:21,023 BECAUSE THIS KID IS GOING TO 606 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:21,023 BECOME A FAT PERSON IF THEY'RE 607 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:25,011 NOT EATING VEGETABLES AND OTHER 608 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:25,011 KIDS ARE GOING TO BE MEAN TO 609 00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:28,007 THEM NO MATTER HOW MANY 610 00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:28,007 POSITIVE THINGS ARE OUT THERE 611 00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:32,005 ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 612 00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:32,005 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. 613 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,024 YOU NEED TO GET THIS KID 614 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,024 SHREDDED SO THE KID CAN GO OUT 615 00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:36,026 IN THE WORLD AND HAVE A CHANCE 616 00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:36,026 WHEN IT TURNS SIX. 617 00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:47,027 >> Jimmy: SHREDDED 618 00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:47,027 >> I DON'T KNOW, I GET IT. 619 00:19:47,027 --> 00:19:49,003 BECAUSE MY -- YOU KNOW, MY 620 00:19:47,027 --> 00:19:49,003 DAUGHTER MANIPULATES ME PRETTY 621 00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:53,001 WELL 622 00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:53,001 BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL. 623 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:54,015 I HAVE A LINE. 624 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:54,015 AND KID STARTING TO THROW FOOD 625 00:19:54,015 --> 00:20:00,010 ON THE LINE, THAT'S JUST NOT 626 00:19:54,015 --> 00:20:00,010 HAPPENING. 627 00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:02,010 >> Jimmy: GOSH 628 00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:02,010 DUDE, THIS HAS BEEN 629 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,012 UNBELIEVABLE 630 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,012 NOT EVEN JUST SAYING THIS. 631 00:20:04,012 --> 00:20:07,002 UNBELIEVABLE 632 00:20:04,012 --> 00:20:07,002 I THOUGHT THE BIT WAS GOING TO 633 00:20:07,002 --> 00:20:09,029 BE FUN BUT IT'S BEYOND FUN, IT 634 00:20:07,002 --> 00:20:09,029 WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SO VERY YOU 635 00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:17,022 I LOVED IT, IT'S VERY SMART, 636 00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:17,022 REALLY APPRECIATE IT 637 00:20:17,022 --> 00:20:19,018 FANTASTIC FOR ALL THESE PEOPLE 638 00:20:17,022 --> 00:20:19,018 THEY'RE LUCKY THEY GOT A LIFE 639 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:25,000 COACH WITH BILL BURR 640 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:25,000 >> WHENEVER YOU WANT TO DO IT, 641 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,019 JIMMY, I GOT THE TIME, PANDEMIC 642 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,019 HAS OPENED UP MY SCHEDULE. 643 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:47,011 ♪ 644 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:47,011 >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS 645 00:20:47,011 --> 00:20:53,001 A VERY TALENTED ACTOR, WRITER 646 00:20:47,011 --> 00:20:53,001 AND DIRECTOR 647 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,000 SHE STARS ALONGSIDE BILL MURRAY 648 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,000 IN THE MOVIE "ON THE ROCKS," 649 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,024 STREAMING NOW ON APPLE TV PLUS 650 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,024 HERE IS RASHIDA JONES! 651 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:03,016 IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU 652 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:03,016 >> HEY 653 00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:04,022 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH, THANK 654 00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:04,022 YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE 655 00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:08,022 SHOW 656 00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:08,022 >> GOOD TO BE HERE 657 00:21:08,022 --> 00:21:13,012 >> Jimmy: ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE 658 00:21:08,022 --> 00:21:13,012 YOU. 659 00:21:13,012 --> 00:21:14,017 EVERY TIME WE TALK YOU'VE 660 00:21:13,012 --> 00:21:14,017 EITHER JUST FINISHED OR STARTED 661 00:21:14,017 --> 00:21:15,024 SOMETHING REALLY COOL, EITHER 662 00:21:14,017 --> 00:21:15,024 FOR WORK OR FUN BUT ALWAYS LIKE 663 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:20,003 WHAT ARE YOU DOING 664 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:20,003 OH, I'M GOING TO WRITE A 665 00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:22,004 A SCRIPT 666 00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:22,004 I'M DOING A PODCAST WITH BILL 667 00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:26,005 GATES. 668 00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:26,005 UNBELIEVABLE BY THE WAY. 669 00:21:26,005 --> 00:21:27,012 WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN INTO NOW, 670 00:21:26,005 --> 00:21:27,012 WHAT IS THE NEW INTEREST I NEED 671 00:21:27,012 --> 00:21:32,018 TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT 672 00:21:27,012 --> 00:21:32,018 >> I WISH I COULD SAY IT WAS 673 00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:36,014 SOMETHING EPIC 674 00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:36,014 BUT IT'S LIKE GARDENING. 675 00:21:36,014 --> 00:21:38,013 IS THAT EPIC 676 00:21:36,014 --> 00:21:38,013 >> Jimmy: NO, BUT I'LL TAKE 677 00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:40,004 THAT 678 00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:40,004 THAT'S REAL. 679 00:21:40,004 --> 00:21:43,008 GARDENING. 680 00:21:40,004 --> 00:21:43,008 I LOVE GARDENING, WOULD LOVE TO 681 00:21:43,008 --> 00:21:45,027 GARDENING. 682 00:21:43,008 --> 00:21:45,027 HOW DEEP DO YOU GO 683 00:21:45,027 --> 00:21:51,026 DO YOU CHANGE OUTFITS? 684 00:21:45,027 --> 00:21:51,026 >> I GO DEEP, I CHANGE OUTFITS, 685 00:21:51,026 --> 00:21:56,027 I HAVE A HAT, CONTRAPTIONS AND 686 00:21:51,026 --> 00:21:56,027 TOOLS. SHOVELS AND THINGS. 687 00:21:56,027 --> 00:22:02,007 >> Jimmy: SHEARS 688 00:21:56,027 --> 00:22:02,007 >> NOT LIKE MOMMIE DEAREST 689 00:22:02,007 --> 00:22:05,009 VIBES. 690 00:22:02,007 --> 00:22:05,009 SMALLER ONES 691 00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:10,020 >> Jimmy: TINY CLIPPERS. 692 00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:10,020 >> HERB ONES, YEAH 693 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:14,004 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU GROW 694 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:14,004 FLOWERS, HERBS 695 00:22:14,004 --> 00:22:16,004 >> I HAVE A LOT OF HERBS, 696 00:22:14,004 --> 00:22:16,004 VEGETABLES, LETTUCE AND KALE 697 00:22:16,004 --> 00:22:25,000 FRENCH SNAP PEAS AND CHIVES AND 698 00:22:16,004 --> 00:22:25,000 BASIL. 699 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,004 CRAZY THING IS I HAVE THIS 700 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,004 PLANT CALLED YARROW IN MY 701 00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:30,010 GARDEN AND I HAVE A TEACHER 702 00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:30,010 THAT SAYS JUST SO YOU KNOW, 703 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:36,014 THIS STOPS BLEEDING. 704 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:36,014 OKAY, WHATEVER WITCHY MAGIC, 705 00:22:36,014 --> 00:22:43,020 WHATEVER 706 00:22:36,014 --> 00:22:43,020 >> Jimmy: I'LL HAVE A YARROW 707 00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:47,015 >> CAN'T WAIT TO STOP MY 708 00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:47,015 BLEEDING WITH YARROW 709 00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:56,008 BUT I CUT MY FINGER. 710 00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:56,008 POURING BLOOD, NOTHING WAS 711 00:22:56,008 --> 00:23:03,029 WORKING. 712 00:22:56,008 --> 00:23:03,029 RUBBED IT ON MY CUT AND 713 00:23:03,029 --> 00:23:08,011 IMMEDIATELY STOPPED AND THERE 714 00:23:03,029 --> 00:23:08,011 WAS CLOTTING RING AROUND IT 715 00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:10,014 LIKE THIS. 716 00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:10,014 MAGIC. 717 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,022 IT FREAKED ME OUT. 718 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,022 >> Jimmy: WHAT 719 00:23:12,022 --> 00:23:15,004 YARROW 720 00:23:12,022 --> 00:23:15,004 >> YARROW. 721 00:23:15,004 --> 00:23:16,007 >> Jimmy: YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME 722 00:23:15,004 --> 00:23:16,007 SOMETHING. 723 00:23:16,007 --> 00:23:18,000 I LOVE IT. 724 00:23:16,007 --> 00:23:18,000 YARROW, GOING TO START GROWING 725 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:24,006 THAT 726 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:24,006 >> THAT'S ACTUALLY PRACTICAL 727 00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:28,026 FORGET ABOUT YOUR PALATE, 728 00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:28,026 THAT'S MEDICAL 729 00:23:28,026 --> 00:23:33,004 >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. 730 00:23:28,026 --> 00:23:33,004 I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE BABY. 731 00:23:33,004 --> 00:23:36,012 OH, MY GOSH, I MEAN SO CUTE. 732 00:23:33,004 --> 00:23:36,012 HOW GREAT IS IT TO GET TO SPEND 733 00:23:36,012 --> 00:23:40,024 MORE TIME WITH HIM 734 00:23:36,012 --> 00:23:40,024 >> IT'S PRETTY HILARIOUS AND 735 00:23:40,024 --> 00:23:43,020 GREAT. 736 00:23:40,024 --> 00:23:43,020 HE'S REALLY THE ONLY MARKER OF 737 00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:44,023 TIME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE 738 00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:44,023 EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST LIKE SO 739 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:49,029 SUBJECTIVE 740 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:49,029 BUT YOU KNOW, HE'S BECOMING 741 00:23:49,029 --> 00:24:02,013 A PERSON AND I GET TO SEE THE 742 00:23:49,029 --> 00:24:02,013 WHOLE THING, WHICH IS AWESOME. 743 00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:04,002 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO KNOW HOW 744 00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:04,002 MUSICAL IS THE BABY. 745 00:24:04,002 --> 00:24:05,014 YOU COME FROM MUSICAL FAMILY 746 00:24:04,002 --> 00:24:05,014 OBVIOUSLY QUINCY JONES, WE LOVE 747 00:24:05,014 --> 00:24:06,024 QUINCY 748 00:24:05,014 --> 00:24:06,024 YOUR PARTNER IS A MUSICIAN 749 00:24:06,024 --> 00:24:10,025 YOU'RE MUSICAL 750 00:24:06,024 --> 00:24:10,025 IS HE MUSICAL? 751 00:24:10,025 --> 00:24:11,028 >> IT'S NOT TONE DEAF, THAT'S 752 00:24:10,025 --> 00:24:11,028 THE GOOD NEWS. 753 00:24:11,028 --> 00:24:14,000 >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. 754 00:24:11,028 --> 00:24:14,000 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 755 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,012 I DON'T KNOW, WHO KNOWS WHAT 756 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,012 WILL BE. 757 00:24:15,012 --> 00:24:19,007 HE HAS A VERY GOOD SENSE OF 758 00:24:15,012 --> 00:24:19,007 MELODY AND RHYTHM. 759 00:24:19,007 --> 00:24:24,018 HE'S VERY INTO DRUMS 760 00:24:19,007 --> 00:24:24,018 >> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT "ON 761 00:24:24,018 --> 00:24:26,004 THE ROCKS," YOU AND BILL 762 00:24:24,018 --> 00:24:26,004 MURRAY, SOFIA COPPOLA? 763 00:24:26,004 --> 00:24:31,004 WHAT 764 00:24:26,004 --> 00:24:31,004 >> I GUESS THAT'S A COOL THING 765 00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:38,018 I DID, RIGHT 766 00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:38,018 >> Jimmy: YES, YOU THINK SO? 767 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,018 NOW IT'S GETTING AWARDS BUZZ 768 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,018 YEAH, I THINK IT'S SOMETHING 769 00:24:40,018 --> 00:24:42,019 YOU CAN TALK ABOUT 770 00:24:40,018 --> 00:24:42,019 CAN YOU TELL EVERYONE WHAT IT'S 771 00:24:42,019 --> 00:24:46,004 ABOUT? 772 00:24:42,019 --> 00:24:46,004 >> YEAH. 773 00:24:46,004 --> 00:24:48,026 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT'S SO WEIRD 774 00:24:46,004 --> 00:24:48,026 BECAUSE IT'S INSTANT VINTAGE 775 00:24:48,026 --> 00:24:57,021 WE FILMED IT LAST SUMMER AND WE 776 00:24:48,026 --> 00:24:57,021 FILMED ALL OVER NEW YORK 777 00:24:57,021 --> 00:24:58,028 AND IT'S, YOU KNOW, THE CITY'S 778 00:24:57,021 --> 00:24:58,028 SO BEAUTIFUL IN IT, SUCH AN 779 00:24:58,028 --> 00:25:02,015 IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY. 780 00:24:58,028 --> 00:25:02,015 THE FACT THAT WE DID THAT JUST 781 00:25:02,015 --> 00:25:03,021 UNDER THE WIRE BEFORE LOCKDOWN, 782 00:25:02,015 --> 00:25:03,021 IT'S IMMEDIATELY NOSTALGIC, 783 00:25:03,021 --> 00:25:08,020 A WEIRD THING. 784 00:25:03,021 --> 00:25:08,020 BUT IT'S ALSO A MOVIE ABOUT 785 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:09,022 A FATHER AND DAUGHTER 786 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:09,022 RELATIONSHIP, SOMETHING THAT'S 787 00:25:09,022 --> 00:25:17,009 CLOSE TO MY HEART AND SOFIA'S 788 00:25:09,022 --> 00:25:17,009 HEART OBVIOUSLY. 789 00:25:17,009 --> 00:25:18,015 HAVING THE FATHER THAT CHANGES 790 00:25:17,009 --> 00:25:18,015 THE ENERGY IN A ROOM WHEN HE 791 00:25:18,015 --> 00:25:23,026 WALKS IN 792 00:25:18,015 --> 00:25:23,026 SOMETHING I'M ALSO FAMILIAR 793 00:25:23,026 --> 00:25:26,022 WITH 794 00:25:23,026 --> 00:25:26,022 NAVIGATING THAT RELATIONSHIP, 795 00:25:26,022 --> 00:25:28,023 BEING AN ADULT THROUGH THAT 796 00:25:26,022 --> 00:25:28,023 RELATIONSHIP IS KIND OF WHAT 797 00:25:28,023 --> 00:25:32,011 THE MOVIE IS ABOUT 798 00:25:28,023 --> 00:25:32,011 >> Jimmy: HAS QUINCY OR FRANCIS 799 00:25:32,011 --> 00:25:37,019 FORD COPPOLA SEEN THE MOVIE? 800 00:25:32,011 --> 00:25:37,019 >> BOTH. 801 00:25:37,019 --> 00:25:44,025 >> Jimmy: ARE THEY GOING THAT'S 802 00:25:37,019 --> 00:25:44,025 NOT ME 803 00:25:44,025 --> 00:25:46,002 >> NEITHER ARE WILLING TO FEEL 804 00:25:44,025 --> 00:25:46,002 THEY'RE THE INSPIRATION FOR THE 805 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:51,015 MOVIE. 806 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:51,015 SO THAT'S GREAT. 807 00:25:51,015 --> 00:25:53,001 >> Jimmy: WE'RE COOL BUT BILL 808 00:25:51,015 --> 00:25:53,001 MURRAY IS COOL 809 00:25:53,001 --> 00:26:00,024 BILL IS MOST FUN HUMAN 810 00:25:53,001 --> 00:26:00,024 >> THE COOLEST, SO FUN 811 00:26:00,024 --> 00:26:02,000 >> Jimmy: THE CAR CHASE, I 812 00:26:00,024 --> 00:26:02,000 HEARD HE WENT OFFSCRIPT DRIVING 813 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,029 AROUND WHERE HE WASN'T SUPPOSED 814 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,029 TO BE. 815 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:07,021 >> YEAH. 816 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:07,021 HE FANCIES HIMSELF AN 817 00:26:07,021 --> 00:26:12,019 AMATEUR -- 818 00:26:07,021 --> 00:26:12,019 PROBABLY MORE LIKE PROFESSIONAL 819 00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:14,007 STUNT DRIVER 820 00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:14,007 REALLY PRIDES HIMSELF ON DOING 821 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:18,022 MOST OF IT HIMSELF 822 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:18,022 WOULD SPEAK STUNT TALK WITH HIS 823 00:26:18,022 --> 00:26:25,009 STUNT DOUBLE 824 00:26:18,022 --> 00:26:25,009 BUT HE DID MOST OF THE DRIVING 825 00:26:25,009 --> 00:26:26,017 HIMSELF, AND I THINK PART OF IT 826 00:26:25,009 --> 00:26:26,017 WAS BECAUSE HE LIKES TO -- YOU 827 00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:27,023 KNOW, LIKES TO PULL A STUNT, TO 828 00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:27,023 MAKE PEOPLE SCREAM AND LAUGH 829 00:26:27,023 --> 00:26:37,014 AND FEEL SURPRISED 830 00:26:27,023 --> 00:26:37,014 SO HE WOULD -- YOU KNOW, WE'D 831 00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:41,007 FINISH THE SCENE AND HE'D BOLT 832 00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:41,007 AND LOSE THE FOLLOW VAN AND ALL 833 00:26:41,007 --> 00:26:48,005 OF OUR ESCORTS AND JUST RIP UP 834 00:26:41,007 --> 00:26:48,005 10th AVENUE. 835 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:51,006 AND GET US BUSTED. 836 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:51,006 GOT US BUSTED ONCE 837 00:26:51,006 --> 00:26:52,026 >> Jimmy: NO 838 00:26:51,006 --> 00:26:52,026 >> WE WERE FINE BECAUSE IT'S 839 00:26:52,026 --> 00:26:57,003 HIM. 840 00:26:52,026 --> 00:26:57,003 TOTALLY. 841 00:26:57,003 --> 00:26:58,016 WE SAW LIGHTS. 842 00:26:57,003 --> 00:26:58,016 I SAW LIGHTS BEHIND US, THAT'S 843 00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:01,008 NOT THE PRODUCTION GUYS. 844 00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:01,008 GUY WAS LIKE WHAT ARE YOU 845 00:27:01,008 --> 00:27:09,010 DOING, GET OFF THE STREET. 846 00:27:01,008 --> 00:27:09,010 IT WAS LOVELY, WE WERE FINE. 847 00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:10,019 >> Jimmy: THAT'S BILL MURRAY 848 00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:10,019 DRIVING. 849 00:27:10,019 --> 00:27:12,004 OKAY 850 00:27:10,019 --> 00:27:12,004 LET ME ESCORT YOU BACK TO THE 851 00:27:12,004 --> 00:27:15,022 SET. 852 00:27:12,004 --> 00:27:15,022 >> EXACTLY 853 00:27:15,022 --> 00:27:18,024 DO YOU NEED ANY GAS? 854 00:27:15,022 --> 00:27:18,024 IT'S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE 855 00:27:18,024 --> 00:27:22,009 GETS AWAY WITH EVERYTHING. 856 00:27:18,024 --> 00:27:22,009 THAT GUY 857 00:27:22,009 --> 00:27:24,004 >> Jimmy: YOU TWO TOGETHER 858 00:27:22,009 --> 00:27:24,004 THAT'S GREAT 859 00:27:24,004 --> 00:27:29,019 AND SOFIA IS AWESOME 860 00:27:24,004 --> 00:27:29,019 HERE'S A CLIP, RASHIDA JONES 861 00:27:29,019 --> 00:27:34,022 AND BILL MURRAY IN "ON THE 862 00:27:29,019 --> 00:27:34,022 ROCKS. 863 00:27:34,022 --> 00:27:37,014 >> WHAT DOES DEAN HAVE PLANNED 864 00:27:34,022 --> 00:27:37,014 FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? 865 00:27:37,014 --> 00:27:40,022 >> HE'S NOT GOING TO BE HERE 866 00:27:37,014 --> 00:27:40,022 FOR MY BIRTHDAY. 867 00:27:40,022 --> 00:27:43,017 >> WHAT KIND OF GUY FORGETS HIS 868 00:27:40,022 --> 00:27:43,017 WIFE'S BIRTHDAY? 869 00:27:43,017 --> 00:27:45,013 >> HE DIDN'T FORGET. 870 00:27:43,017 --> 00:27:45,013 HE HAS A WORK TRIP 871 00:27:45,013 --> 00:27:46,016 WE'RE GOING TO CELEBRATE WHEN 872 00:27:45,013 --> 00:27:46,016 HE GETS BACK 873 00:27:46,016 --> 00:27:50,025 >> THAT'S NOT THE SAME 874 00:27:46,016 --> 00:27:50,025 I TRAVELED, I NEVER MISSED A 875 00:27:50,025 --> 00:27:54,010 A BIRTHDAY 876 00:27:50,025 --> 00:27:54,010 >> RIGHT, BUT YOU HAD SOME 877 00:27:54,010 --> 00:28:05,019 OTHER SHORTCOMINGS 878 00:27:54,010 --> 00:28:05,019 >> LIKE WHAT 879 00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:13,028 >> THANK YOU 880 00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:13,028 >> SPACIBA 881 00:28:13,028 --> 00:28:15,027 ALL RIGHT. 882 00:28:13,028 --> 00:28:15,027 I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO 21, 883 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:19,028 JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND CHECK 884 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:19,028 HIS TEXTS, WILL YOU? 885 00:28:19,028 --> 00:28:23,000 >> RASHIDA JONES, EVERYBODY. 886 00:28:19,028 --> 00:28:23,000 "ON THE ROCKS" IS STREAMING NOW 887 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,005 ON APPLE TV PLUS 888 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,005 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BILL 889 00:28:24,005 --> 00:28:27,025 BURR 890 00:28:24,005 --> 00:28:27,025 STICK AROUND EVERYBODY 891 00:28:27,025 --> 00:28:45,023 ♪ 892 00:28:27,025 --> 00:28:45,023 >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 893 00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:50,004 GRAMMY NOMINATED COMEDIAN AND 894 00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:50,004 VERY TALENTED ACTOR RECEIVED 895 00:28:50,004 --> 00:28:57,015 RAVE REVIEWS FOR WORK IN FILM 896 00:28:50,004 --> 00:28:57,015 "THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND," 897 00:28:57,015 --> 00:29:06,004 STREAMING ON HBO MAX, AND SEE 898 00:28:57,015 --> 00:29:06,004 HIM IN THE BLOCKBUSTER SHOW, 899 00:29:06,004 --> 00:29:07,026 "THE MANDALORIAN." 900 00:29:06,004 --> 00:29:07,026 BILL BURR. 901 00:29:07,026 --> 00:29:11,014 LOOK AT YOU. 902 00:29:07,026 --> 00:29:11,014 >> I LOVE YOU GIVE THE AUDIENCE 903 00:29:11,014 --> 00:29:13,007 APPLAUSE 904 00:29:11,014 --> 00:29:13,007 APPLAUSE TO EVERYONE 905 00:29:13,007 --> 00:29:16,025 THERE HE IS. 906 00:29:13,007 --> 00:29:16,025 KEEP IT GOING FOR HIM. 907 00:29:16,025 --> 00:29:20,016 >> Jimmy: I CAN'T HELP MYSELF, 908 00:29:16,025 --> 00:29:20,016 IT'S A THING 909 00:29:20,016 --> 00:29:24,008 I JUST AM USED TO DOING IT 910 00:29:20,016 --> 00:29:24,008 >> I DO STAND-UP NOW OUTSIDE 911 00:29:24,008 --> 00:29:27,013 NEXT TO HIGHWAYS 912 00:29:24,008 --> 00:29:27,013 I MEAN THAT'S -- IT JUST IS WHAT 913 00:29:27,013 --> 00:29:30,025 IT IS. 914 00:29:27,013 --> 00:29:30,025 THOSE EARLY SHOWS BATTLING RUSH 915 00:29:30,025 --> 00:29:35,014 HOUR, BRUTAL 916 00:29:30,025 --> 00:29:35,014 LATE AT NIGHT, JUST THE THIRD 917 00:29:35,014 --> 00:29:38,011 SHIFT AND DRUNK DRIVERS, IT'S 918 00:29:35,014 --> 00:29:38,011 NOT BAD, YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR 919 00:29:38,011 --> 00:29:41,014 THE CROWD. 920 00:29:38,011 --> 00:29:41,014 >> Jimmy: PROBABLY TAKE ONE, 921 00:29:41,014 --> 00:29:45,014 RIGHT? 922 00:29:41,014 --> 00:29:45,014 HORNS HONKING IS ONE THING 923 00:29:45,014 --> 00:29:50,021 >> LIGHTS FLASHING 924 00:29:45,014 --> 00:29:50,021 AT THIS POINT WHEN CARS PULL IN, 925 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:59,020 THERE'S TOO MANY PRIUSES, GOING 926 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:59,020 TO BE TOO SENSITIVE A CROWD. 927 00:29:59,020 --> 00:30:02,010 NEED SUVs TO BALANCE OUT THE 928 00:29:59,020 --> 00:30:02,010 ELECTRIC CARS AND IT'S FUN 929 00:30:02,010 --> 00:30:09,016 AUDIENCE 930 00:30:02,010 --> 00:30:09,016 TOO MUCH OF EITHER, TOO MUCH 931 00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:10,013 SUVs YELL BUILD THE WALL, THE 932 00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:10,013 USUAL. 933 00:30:10,013 --> 00:30:14,001 >> Jimmy: DO PEOPLE STILL GET 934 00:30:10,013 --> 00:30:14,001 MAD AT YOU FOR STAYING STUFF 935 00:30:14,001 --> 00:30:17,026 THEY MUST. 936 00:30:14,001 --> 00:30:17,026 >> LIKE WHEN THE NITWITS WENT TO 937 00:30:17,026 --> 00:30:20,024 THE CAPITOL, EVERYBODY WAS 938 00:30:17,026 --> 00:30:20,024 OBVIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT IT, 939 00:30:20,024 --> 00:30:28,016 SAYING IT WAS WRONG THING TO DO. 940 00:30:20,024 --> 00:30:28,016 I WAS DOING MY PODCAST, WHAT AM 941 00:30:28,016 --> 00:30:32,017 I THE 9 MILLIONTH PEOPLE TO DO 942 00:30:28,016 --> 00:30:32,017 THIS 943 00:30:32,017 --> 00:30:37,025 I DID MISDIRECTION, TAKES A LOT 944 00:30:32,017 --> 00:30:37,025 TO OFFEND ME, BUT LAST NIGHT, 945 00:30:37,025 --> 00:30:41,004 THOSE UNIFORMS THE MIAMI HEAT 946 00:30:37,025 --> 00:30:41,004 WORE AGAINST THE BOSTON 947 00:30:41,004 --> 00:30:45,025 CELTICS -- AND SAME LEVEL OF 948 00:30:41,004 --> 00:30:45,025 OFFENDED AS PEOPLE AT CAPITOL. 949 00:30:45,025 --> 00:30:47,017 IT WAS ABSURD, BUT JIMMY, I'M A 950 00:30:45,025 --> 00:30:47,017 CLOWN, I'M NOT RUNNING FOR 951 00:30:47,017 --> 00:30:52,001 OFFICE 952 00:30:47,017 --> 00:30:52,001 AND THESE PEOPLE, DOZEN PEOPLE 953 00:30:52,001 --> 00:30:55,000 GOT -- TOOK THE TIME TO SEND ME 954 00:30:52,001 --> 00:30:55,000 A TWEET. 955 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,027 ONE GUY SENT ME A STATEMENT TO 956 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,027 LET ME KNOW HE WAS NO LONGER 957 00:30:59,027 --> 00:31:03,012 GOING TO BE -- AFTER TEN YEARS, 958 00:30:59,027 --> 00:31:03,012 HE WAS GIVING ME HIS 959 00:31:03,012 --> 00:31:07,007 RESIGNATION. 960 00:31:03,012 --> 00:31:07,007 THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT SOCIAL 961 00:31:07,007 --> 00:31:11,028 MEDIA. 962 00:31:07,007 --> 00:31:11,028 NOT LIKE JOE SIXPACK HAS THE EGO 963 00:31:11,028 --> 00:31:14,027 OF CELEBRITY 964 00:31:11,028 --> 00:31:14,027 HE REALLY FELT LIKE HE NEEDED TO 965 00:31:14,027 --> 00:31:18,013 MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT AND 966 00:31:14,027 --> 00:31:18,013 EVERYBODY ELSE HAD TO HEAR IT. 967 00:31:18,013 --> 00:31:22,013 RATHER THAN MOVING ON TO ANOTHER 968 00:31:18,013 --> 00:31:22,013 PODCAST. 969 00:31:22,013 --> 00:31:26,001 >> TALKING ABOUT ANTIMASKERS, 970 00:31:22,013 --> 00:31:26,001 SHOULD PEOPLE WEAR MASK OR NOT 971 00:31:26,001 --> 00:31:27,027 WEAR MASK. 972 00:31:26,001 --> 00:31:27,027 PEOPLE SHOULD WEAR MASKS 973 00:31:27,027 --> 00:31:36,002 >> YEAH. 974 00:31:27,027 --> 00:31:36,002 THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTORS SAY. 975 00:31:36,002 --> 00:31:39,007 SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU 976 00:31:36,002 --> 00:31:39,007 WOULDN'T DO IT AND NOW GOT A 977 00:31:39,007 --> 00:31:40,029 VACCINE, SAYING NOT GOING TO DO 978 00:31:39,007 --> 00:31:40,029 IT 979 00:31:40,029 --> 00:31:44,015 I UNDERSTAND PEOPLE NOT WHITE 980 00:31:40,029 --> 00:31:44,015 SAYING THEY'RE NOT GOING TO DO 981 00:31:44,015 --> 00:31:48,009 IT, I WOULDN'T TRUST WHITE 982 00:31:44,015 --> 00:31:48,009 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT EITHER. 983 00:31:48,009 --> 00:31:51,008 BUT STARTED IN ENGLAND WITH 984 00:31:48,009 --> 00:31:51,008 WHITE PEOPLE, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD 985 00:31:51,008 --> 00:31:54,026 SIGN 986 00:31:51,008 --> 00:31:54,026 BUT PEOPLE WILL NOT WANT TO TAKE 987 00:31:54,026 --> 00:31:58,015 IT 988 00:31:54,026 --> 00:31:58,015 EF 989 00:31:58,015 --> 00:32:01,022 EVENTUALLY TO GET THROUGH IN, 990 00:31:58,015 --> 00:32:01,022 CIA WILL HAVE TO GET IN 991 00:32:01,022 --> 00:32:05,027 CHOPPERS, SHOOTING PEOPLE COMING 992 00:32:01,022 --> 00:32:05,027 OUT OF FOOD COURTS WITH VACCINE 993 00:32:05,027 --> 00:32:10,021 LIKE THEY DO WITH WILD BOARS 994 00:32:05,027 --> 00:32:10,021 >> Jimmy: EXACTLY. 995 00:32:10,021 --> 00:32:15,003 >> JUST MAKE THEM DO IT. 996 00:32:10,021 --> 00:32:15,003 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA 997 00:32:15,003 --> 00:32:19,011 SOMEONE IS ON THAT RIGHT NOW 998 00:32:15,003 --> 00:32:19,011 2020 OBVIOUSLY HAS BEEN BIZARRE 999 00:32:19,011 --> 00:32:27,023 FOR A LOT OF US. 1000 00:32:19,011 --> 00:32:27,023 BUT YOU'VE BEEN FIRING ON ALL 1001 00:32:27,023 --> 00:32:35,003 CYLINDERS, YOU APPEARED IN A 1002 00:32:27,023 --> 00:32:35,003 COUPLE OF EPISODES OF 1003 00:32:35,003 --> 00:32:36,022 "MANDALORIAN," I THINK FAVREAU 1004 00:32:35,003 --> 00:32:36,022 LOVES YOU. 1005 00:32:36,022 --> 00:32:41,017 BILL BURR IS CRUSHING THIS 1006 00:32:36,022 --> 00:32:41,017 >> YOU KNOW THE DEAL, YOU'VE 1007 00:32:41,017 --> 00:32:44,012 DONE ACTING. 1008 00:32:41,017 --> 00:32:44,012 THEY GOT TO WRITE IT 1009 00:32:44,012 --> 00:32:48,016 IF IT'S NOT ON THE PAGE, THEN 1010 00:32:44,012 --> 00:32:48,016 THEY EDIT AND PUT IT TO MUSIC. 1011 00:32:48,016 --> 00:32:51,009 I JUST SAID WHAT THEY WROTE, 1012 00:32:48,016 --> 00:32:51,009 IT'S RICK AND JON AND THOSE GUYS 1013 00:32:51,009 --> 00:32:56,010 OVER THERE 1014 00:32:51,009 --> 00:32:56,010 >> Jimmy: I HEARD SOME FANS WERE 1015 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:58,022 LIKE WHY DOES HE HAVE A BOSTON 1016 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:58,022 ACCENT. 1017 00:32:58,022 --> 00:33:04,002 >> THAT'S HILARIOUS. 1018 00:32:58,022 --> 00:33:04,002 NEVER HEARD BOSTON ACCENT IN 1019 00:33:04,002 --> 00:33:08,004 OUTER SPACE. 1020 00:33:04,002 --> 00:33:08,004 WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH 1021 00:33:08,004 --> 00:33:12,001 GO TO GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY, 1022 00:33:08,004 --> 00:33:12,001 SOMEONE IS LIKE HOW'S IT GOING, 1023 00:33:12,001 --> 00:33:17,028 YOU TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THEM? 1024 00:33:12,001 --> 00:33:17,028 WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT HAN 1025 00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:21,023 SOLO IS TALKING TO BIGFOOT AND 1026 00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:21,023 HE'S SPEAKING ENGLISH AND NEVER 1027 00:33:21,023 --> 00:33:37,006 BREAK CHARACTER. 1028 00:33:21,023 --> 00:33:37,006 HIT THE BUTTON, CHEWIE 1029 00:33:37,006 --> 00:33:40,004 THAT'S ALL FINE. 1030 00:33:37,006 --> 00:33:40,004 C 1031 00:33:40,004 --> 00:33:47,001 C3PO WITH ENGLISH ACCENT 1032 00:33:40,004 --> 00:33:47,001 LIKE HE'S HANGING OUT WITH 1033 00:33:47,001 --> 00:33:49,010 LYNYRD SKYNYRD 1034 00:33:47,001 --> 00:33:49,010 NIT-PICKING NERDS. 1035 00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:52,021 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. 1036 00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:52,021 ON TOP OF THAT, SPEAKING OF GOOD 1037 00:33:52,021 --> 00:34:02,024 ACTING CHOPS 1038 00:33:52,021 --> 00:34:02,024 YOU'RE GREAT IN "KING OF STATEN 1039 00:34:02,024 --> 00:34:04,026 ISLAND," JUDD APATOW, YOU AND 1040 00:34:02,024 --> 00:34:04,026 MARISSA TOMEI. 1041 00:34:04,026 --> 00:34:13,011 >> SHE'S THE BEST I'VE EVER 1042 00:34:04,026 --> 00:34:13,011 WORKED WITH. 1043 00:34:13,011 --> 00:34:17,019 UNEFFING BELIEVABLE. 1044 00:34:13,011 --> 00:34:17,019 >> Jimmy: YOU TOO, IT'S LIKE 1045 00:34:17,019 --> 00:34:20,018 WATCHING A DIFFERENT DUDE. 1046 00:34:17,019 --> 00:34:20,018 WHAT GOOD ACTING IS. 1047 00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:25,008 DIALOGUE WAS GOOD. 1048 00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:25,008 >> THEY WROTE A GREAT MOVIE AND 1049 00:34:25,008 --> 00:34:31,003 JUDD IS REAL COOL WHERE IT'S 1050 00:34:25,008 --> 00:34:31,003 LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU COME UP, YOU 1051 00:34:31,003 --> 00:34:34,015 DO THE THING, DO THE SCENE, DO 1052 00:34:31,003 --> 00:34:34,015 TWO TAKES OF IT THE WAY THEY 1053 00:34:34,015 --> 00:34:37,029 WROTE IT, THEN HE JUST COMES UP 1054 00:34:34,015 --> 00:34:37,029 AND GOES THAT LITTLE AREA THERE, 1055 00:34:37,029 --> 00:34:42,017 MAYBE WANT TO BUILD THAT OUT 1056 00:34:37,029 --> 00:34:42,017 AND MAYBE THE FIRST WEEK HAD A 1057 00:34:42,017 --> 00:34:48,001 LITTLE ANXIETY ABOUT DOING IT. 1058 00:34:42,017 --> 00:34:48,001 WORKING WITH MARISSA WAS 1059 00:34:48,001 --> 00:34:52,026 INTIMIDATING BECAUSE SHE'S 1060 00:34:48,001 --> 00:34:52,026 JUST -- UNREAL, SO GOOD. 1061 00:34:52,026 --> 00:34:55,027 BUT FOURTH OR FIFTH DAY I 1062 00:34:52,026 --> 00:34:55,027 REALIZED I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE 1063 00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:58,010 FUN. 1064 00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:58,010 THIS IS JUST IMPROV AND HAVING 1065 00:34:58,010 --> 00:35:04,007 FUN. 1066 00:34:58,010 --> 00:35:04,007 AND EVERYBODY I WAS WORKING 1067 00:35:04,007 --> 00:35:06,009 WITH, PETE DAVIDSON, JUST A 1068 00:35:04,007 --> 00:35:06,009 REALLY SPECIAL DUDE I MET ON THE 1069 00:35:06,009 --> 00:35:12,012 WAY UP 1070 00:35:06,009 --> 00:35:12,012 WE WERE ALWAYS TIGHT AND THAT 1071 00:35:12,012 --> 00:35:15,017 MOVIE TOTALLY SOLIDIFIED OUR 1072 00:35:12,012 --> 00:35:15,017 FRIENDSHIP, SO I ENDED UP 1073 00:35:15,017 --> 00:35:19,019 GAINING A LIFELONG FRIEND OUT OF 1074 00:35:15,017 --> 00:35:19,019 DOING THAT 1075 00:35:19,019 --> 00:35:20,028 HE HELPED ME THROUGH "SNL" THAT 1076 00:35:19,019 --> 00:35:20,028 WEEK. 1077 00:35:20,028 --> 00:35:25,025 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE GREAT ON 1078 00:35:20,028 --> 00:35:25,025 "SNL" TOO, BY THE WAY. 1079 00:35:25,025 --> 00:35:28,025 >> I GOT TO WORK WITH ALL THESE 1080 00:35:25,025 --> 00:35:28,025 GUYS I'M FANS OF, IT WAS 1081 00:35:28,025 --> 00:35:31,026 AWESOME. 1082 00:35:28,025 --> 00:35:31,026 >> Jimmy: I LIKE PETE, HE'S A 1083 00:35:31,026 --> 00:35:35,019 GREAT DUDE 1084 00:35:31,026 --> 00:35:35,019 CONGRATS ON EVERYTHING, BILL AND 1085 00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:37,015 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR COMING ON 1086 00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:37,015 BUDDY. 1087 00:35:37,015 --> 00:35:42,010 >> COMING ON 1088 00:35:37,015 --> 00:35:42,010 I WOULD DO THIS EVERY NIGHT IF 1089 00:35:42,010 --> 00:35:47,004 HE D 1090 00:35:42,010 --> 00:35:47,004 DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO L.A.X. AND 1091 00:35:47,004 --> 00:35:54,013 GET ON A PLANE, ALL THE SHOWS, 1092 00:35:47,004 --> 00:35:54,013 SAME BLACK SHIRT 1093 00:35:54,013 --> 00:35:56,012 BILL, TELL US ABOUT "STAR WARS," 1094 00:35:54,013 --> 00:35:56,012 WELL - 1095 00:35:56,012 --> 00:36:02,016 >> >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOOD, I'LL 1096 00:35:56,012 --> 00:36:02,016 CALL YOU TOMORROW. 1097 00:36:02,016 --> 00:36:10,016 BILL BURR, CHECK HIM OUT IN 1098 00:36:02,016 --> 00:36:10,016 "MANDALORIAN" ON DISNEY PLUS AND 1099 00:36:10,016 --> 00:36:21,000 "THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND" ON 1100 00:36:10,016 --> 00:36:21,000 HBO MAX. 1101 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 >> Jimmy: THEY ARE NOMINATED 1102 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 FOR TWO GRAMMYS, INCLUDING BEST 1103 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:29,000 COUNTRY SONG 1104 00:36:26,015 --> 00:36:29,000 PERFORMING "NEVER BE SORRY," 1105 00:36:27,008 --> 00:36:29,000 HERE IS OLD DOMINION 1106 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:37,019 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1107 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:37,019 ♪ 1108 00:36:37,019 --> 00:36:45,000 ♪ 1109 00:36:37,019 --> 00:36:45,000 ♪ WE SWUNG OUR FEET 1110 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,008 OFF OF THE EDGE OF THE MOO 1111 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,008 WE GOT THAT HIGH 1112 00:36:48,008 --> 00:36:52,006 FOR A MINUTE ♪ 1113 00:36:48,008 --> 00:36:52,006 ♪ SOMETIMES FOREVER 1114 00:36:52,006 --> 00:36:55,018 GETS AWAY FROM YOU 1115 00:36:52,006 --> 00:36:55,018 NO MATTER HOW HARD 1116 00:36:55,018 --> 00:37:00,009 YOU GRIP IT ♪ 1117 00:36:55,018 --> 00:37:00,009 ♪ SORRY THE SKY FELL DOWN 1118 00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:06,015 SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHY 1119 00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:06,015 ALL WE DO IS APOLOGIZE ♪ 1120 00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:09,010 ♪ OH BUT I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1121 00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:09,010 FOR MY HANDS IN THE POCKET 1122 00:37:09,010 --> 00:37:11,000 OF YOUR HOODIE 1123 00:37:09,010 --> 00:37:11,000 CALLED YOU SUGAR ♪ 1124 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,021 ♪ JUST TO MAKE YOU SMIL 1125 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,021 AND I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1126 00:37:14,021 --> 00:37:17,004 FOR THE SHOE 1127 00:37:14,021 --> 00:37:17,004 THAT I BOUGHT YOU ♪ 1128 00:37:17,004 --> 00:37:19,000 ♪ IN CHICAG 1129 00:37:17,004 --> 00:37:19,000 WE WERE WALKIN 1130 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:26,003 DOWN THE MIRACLE MIL 1131 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:26,003 OH I OH I ♪ 1132 00:37:26,003 --> 00:37:29,018 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1133 00:37:26,003 --> 00:37:29,018 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1134 00:37:29,018 --> 00:37:33,009 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1135 00:37:29,018 --> 00:37:33,009 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1136 00:37:33,009 --> 00:37:37,000 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1137 00:37:33,009 --> 00:37:37,000 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1138 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,015 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1139 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,015 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1140 00:37:40,015 --> 00:37:44,029 ♪ SOMETIMES TWO PEOPL 1141 00:37:40,015 --> 00:37:44,029 END UP VICTIMS OF LOVE 1142 00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:48,018 IT DON'T WORK OU 1143 00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:48,018 LIKE YOU PLANNED IT ♪ 1144 00:37:48,018 --> 00:37:51,027 ♪ JUST 'CAUSE WE COULDN'T 1145 00:37:48,018 --> 00:37:51,027 GET THE STARS TO LINE UP 1146 00:37:51,027 --> 00:37:55,015 DON'T MEAN WE LEAV 1147 00:37:51,027 --> 00:37:55,015 EMPTY-HANDED ♪ 1148 00:37:55,015 --> 00:37:59,016 ♪ SORRY THE SUN CAME UP 1149 00:37:55,015 --> 00:37:59,016 SORRY THE SECOND VERSE 1150 00:37:59,016 --> 00:38:03,001 JUST WASN'T AS SWEET 1151 00:37:59,016 --> 00:38:03,001 AS THE FIRST ♪ 1152 00:38:03,001 --> 00:38:05,016 ♪ OH BUT I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1153 00:38:03,001 --> 00:38:05,016 FOR THAT NIGHT 1154 00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:07,025 IN SANTA BARBARA 1155 00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:07,025 WE GOT LOCKED OUT ♪ 1156 00:38:07,025 --> 00:38:10,020 ♪ OF YOUR CAR 1157 00:38:07,025 --> 00:38:10,020 IN THE POURING RAI 1158 00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:13,025 AND I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1159 00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:13,025 FOR MISSING THE PARTY ♪ 1160 00:38:13,025 --> 00:38:16,001 ♪ 'CAUSE THE WAY YOUR BOD 1161 00:38:13,025 --> 00:38:16,001 LOOKED IN THAT DRESS 1162 00:38:16,001 --> 00:38:23,002 BLEW ME AWAY 1163 00:38:16,001 --> 00:38:23,002 OH I OH I ♪ 1164 00:38:23,002 --> 00:38:26,023 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1165 00:38:23,002 --> 00:38:26,023 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1166 00:38:26,023 --> 00:38:30,018 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1167 00:38:26,023 --> 00:38:30,018 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1168 00:38:30,018 --> 00:38:34,009 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1169 00:38:30,018 --> 00:38:34,009 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1170 00:38:34,009 --> 00:38:38,013 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1171 00:38:34,009 --> 00:38:38,013 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1172 00:38:38,013 --> 00:38:57,011 ♪ 1173 00:38:38,013 --> 00:38:57,011 ♪ OH I OH I 1174 00:38:57,011 --> 00:39:01,009 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1175 00:38:57,011 --> 00:39:01,009 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1176 00:39:01,009 --> 00:39:06,017 I'LL NEVER BE SORRY BABY ♪ 1177 00:39:01,009 --> 00:39:06,017 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1178 00:39:06,017 --> 00:39:10,001 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1179 00:39:06,017 --> 00:39:10,001 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1180 00:39:10,001 --> 00:39:13,013 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1181 00:39:10,001 --> 00:39:13,013 ♪ YEAH I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1182 00:39:13,013 --> 00:39:15,025 FOR MY HANDS IN THE POCKET 1183 00:39:13,013 --> 00:39:15,025 OF YOUR HOODIE 1184 00:39:15,025 --> 00:39:20,000 CALLED YOU SUGAR ♪ 1185 00:39:15,025 --> 00:39:20,000 ♪ JUST TO MAKE YOU SMIL 1186 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,015 YEAH I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1187 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,015 FOR THE SHOE 1188 00:39:22,015 --> 00:39:25,000 THAT I BOUGHT YOU ♪ 1189 00:39:22,015 --> 00:39:25,000 ♪ IN CHICAG 1190 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,012 WE WERE WALKIN 1191 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,012 DOWN THE MAGNIFICENT MIL 1192 00:39:27,012 --> 00:39:36,009 OH I OH I ♪ 1193 00:39:27,012 --> 00:39:36,009 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1194 00:39:36,009 --> 00:39:40,006 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1195 00:39:36,009 --> 00:39:40,006 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1196 00:39:40,006 --> 00:39:43,021 FOR LOVING YOU ♪ 1197 00:39:40,006 --> 00:39:43,021 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE SORRY 1198 00:39:43,021 --> 00:39:47,019 I'LL NEVER BE SORR 1199 00:39:43,021 --> 00:39:47,019 I'LL NEVER BE SORRY ♪ 1200 00:39:47,019 --> 00:39:52,004 ♪ FOR LOVING YO 1201 00:39:47,019 --> 00:39:52,004 I'LL NEVER BE SORRY ♪ 1202 00:39:52,004 --> 00:39:54,019 ♪ 1203 00:39:52,004 --> 00:39:54,019 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1204 00:39:54,019 --> 00:39:56,008 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU TO OLD 1205 00:39:54,019 --> 00:39:56,008 DOMINION 1206 00:39:56,008 --> 00:39:58,014 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE 1207 00:39:56,008 --> 00:39:58,014 COME BACK. 1208 00:39:58,014 --> 00:40:15,027 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1209 00:39:58,014 --> 00:40:15,027 ♪ 1210 00:40:15,027 --> 00:40:17,014 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU ALL FOR 1211 00:40:15,027 --> 00:40:17,014 WATCHING 1212 00:40:17,014 --> 00:40:19,022 STAY SAFE OUT THERE. 1213 00:40:17,014 --> 00:40:19,022 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 1214 00:40:19,022 --> 00:40:20,022 SETH MEYERS. 1215 00:40:20,022 --> 00:40:28,020 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 1216 00:40:22,021 --> 00:40:28,020 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1217 00:40:24,003 --> 00:40:28,020 ♪