>> Jimmy: HEY, EVERYBODY
WELCOME TO AN ALL-NEW
"TONIGHT SHOW.
WE'RE HERE IN NEW YORK CITY,
IT'S A BIG NOR'EASTER IN 2021.
AND IF YOU CAN SEE THE STREETS
ARE BASICALLY EMPTY.
I MEAN, THE CITY IS KIND OF
SHUT DOWN RIGHT NOW.
BUT WE ARE GOING TO DO A
A BRAND-NEW SHOW FOR YOU GUYS
BECAUSE WE'RE HERE
BUT IF THIS WERE PRE-PANDEMIC
TIMES, WE WOULD HAVE TO DO THE
SHOW WITH NO AUDIENCE ANYWAY
SO WITH THAT IN MIND, THIS
MIGHT BE THE FIRST NORMAL SHOW
WE'VE DONE IN TEN MONTHS
SO LET'S DO IT
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW"!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Steve: FROM 30 ROCKEFELLER
CENTER IN THE HEART OF
NEW YORK CITY, IT'S
"THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS
GUESTS -
BRYAN CRANSTON
JOHN CENA, MUSICAL GUEST
REMI WOLF,
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW
AND NOW HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HELLO, WELCOME, THANK YOU.
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY
HELLO, WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW,"
EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME,
I APPRECIATE IT.
WELL, GUYS, THE FIRST
NOR'EASTER OF 2021 BEGAN
YESTERDAY AND CONTINUED ALL DAY
TODAY.
JUST BLASTING THE NORTHEAST
WITH SNOW.
HERE IN NEW YORK, A STATE OF
EMERGENCY WAS DECLARED
NOT REALLY SURE THAT WAS
NECESSARY.
SINCE LAST MARCH, OUR RESTING
STATUS HAS PRETTY MUCH BEEN
STATE OF EMERGENCY
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, NEW YORK CITY GOT
NEARLY TWO FEET OF SNOW.
ALL DAY, NEW YORKERS WERE
FRANTICALLY SHOVELING UNTIL
THEY REMEMBERED THERE'S NOWHERE
TO GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT WHAT A CRAZY STORM IT'S
BEEN SO FAR.
FREEZING TEMPERATURES, HIGH
WINDS, MULTIPLE FEET OF SNOW
TODAY, EVEN THE ANTI-MASKERS
WERE LIKE, "OKAY, GIMME ONE.
JUST -
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE WEATHER IS SO BAD,
TOMORROW, PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL IS
GONNA POP OUT OF HIS LITTLE
GROUNDHOG AIRBNB LIKE, "WHAT DO
YOU THINK I'M PREDICTING
GO BOTHER SAM CHAMPION WITH
THIS CRAP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SERIOUSLY, THE WEATHER WAS SO
BRUTAL, EVEN JOE BIDEN SPENT
THE DAY AT MAR-A-LAGO.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT
THE EAST COAST IS BEING ROCKED
BY A BLIZZARD RIGHT NOW.
IN NEW YORK, IT IS SO COLD -
>> Tariq AND Questlove: HOW
COLD IS IT
>> Jimmy: IT'S SO COLD, I SAW
A SUBWAY RAT WEARING A PAIR OF
BERNIE MITTENS
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT IS SO COLD --
>> Tariq AND Questlove: HOW
COLD IS IT
>> Jimmy: IT'S SO COLD, PFIZER
AND MODERNA ARE STORING THEIR
VACCINES OUTSIDE ON FIFTH
AVENUE
I MEAN, IT IS COLD
>> Tariq AND Questlove: HOW
COLD IS IT
>> Jimmy: IT'S SO COLD, THE
NEW YEAR'S EVE BALL WENT BACK
UP
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S SO COLD -
>> Tariq AND Questlove: NO,
JIMMY, STOP.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT, ROOTS?
>> Tariq AND Questlove: WHEN WE
SAY, "HOW COLD IS IT," WE MEAN
IT LITERALLY
WE ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW
COLD IT IS
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, IT'S, LIKE,
35 DEGREES
>> Tariq AND Questlove: THANK
YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: BUT THE SNOWSTORM
ISN'T BAD NEWS FOR EVERYONE.
TAKE A LOOK AT HOW ONE OF THE
PANDAS AT THE NATIONAL ZOO WAS
HANDLING IT.
EITHER LOVES THE SNOW OR IS
INCREDIBLY DRUNK
[ LAUGHTER ]
30 SECONDS AFTER THIS VIDEO,
THE PANDA THREW UP BAMBOO FOR
FIVE STRAIGHT MINUTES.
THEY DON'T SHOW THAT
[ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, HERE IN NEW YORK,
KIDS GOT SOME PRETTY MIXED NEWS
ABOUT SCHOOLS THIS MORNING
LISTEN TO THIS
>> NEW YORK CITY SCHOOLS ARE
CLOSED
HOWEVER, STUDENTS ARE REQUIRED
TO LEARN REMOTELY TODAY.
>> Jimmy: IN THE SPLIT SECOND
BETWEEN HEARING "SCHOOLS
CLOSED" AND "REMOTE LEARNING,"
EVERY TEACHER FINISHED A BOTTLE
OF WINE.
YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
COME ON, THEY MADE THEM GO TO
SCHOOL ON A SNOW DAY
SERIOUSLY, THOSE ZOOM ROOMS
MUST'VE LOOKED LIKE
A PISSED-OFF "BRADY BUNCH"
OPENING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, GUYS, TODAY IN
WASHINGTON, PRESIDENT BIDEN MET
WITH TEN REPUBLICAN SENATORS
ABOUT THEIR COVID RELIEF PLAN.
THEY WANT ABOUT $600 BILLION IN
AID, WHILE DEMOCRATS WANT
$1.9 TRILLION.
YEAH, THE MEETING GOT HEATED
ACCORDING TO THE TRANSCRIPT,
BIDEN SHOUTED 12 "COME ON,
MANS" AND 19 "GIMME A BREAKS."
WELL, THIS ISN'T GOOD.
THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL IS NEXT
WEEK AND TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM
DOESN'T SEEM READY
WATCH THIS
>> WITH JUST DAYS TO GO UNTIL
HIS SECOND IMPEACHMENT TRIAL,
ALL FIVE OF THE IMPEACHMENT
LAWYERS EXPECTED TO REPRESENT
FORMER PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
HAVE QUIT.
SPLITTING OVER A DISAGREEMENT
IN STRATEGY.
>> Jimmy: TRUMP WAS FURIOUS.
NOT THAT THEY QUIT, THAT HE
COULDN'T FIRE THEM ON TWITTER.
YEAH, TRUMP AND HIS LAWYERS
DISAGREED ON STRATEGY.
APPARENTLY TRUMP GOT UPSET WHEN
THEY WANTED TO HAVE ONE.
BUT THERE'S GOOD NEWS FOR
TRUMP.
BECAUSE AFTER HE LOST FIVE
LAWYERS, HE WAS ABLE TO REPLACE
THEM WITH TWO NEW ONES
CAN WE HEAR A LITTLE ABOUT
THEM
>> DONALD TRUMP HAS PICKED TWO
NEW ATTORNEYS, DAVID SCHOEN AND
BRUCE CASTOR
>> DAVID SCHOEN WAS CONSULTING
WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN BEFORE HIS
DEATH.
>> BRUCE CASTOR, MOST NOTABLY,
DECIDING NOT TO GO AHEAD WITH
THE PROSECUTION OF BILL COSBY
IN 2005.
>> Jimmy: WHAT
WAS THE GUY WHO DEFENDED SADDAM
HUSSEIN NOT AVAILABLE?
I MEAN, EVEN RUDY GIULIANI
THOUGHT, "YOU'RE GOING WITH
THESE GUYS?"
OH, LISTEN TO THIS
IF YOU'RE STILL TRAVELING
DURING THE PANDEMIC, MAYBE THIS
WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING ELSE TO
THINK ABOUT.
>> ACCORDING TO A SAFETY
REPORTING SYSTEM RUN BY NASA,
THE RISE OF IN-FLIGHT ERRORS
DURING COMMERCIAL FLIGHTS IS
BEING BLAMED ON PILOTS BEING
RUSTY BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC.
>> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY, IT'S
JUST LIKE RIDING A BIKE --
30,000 FEET OFF THE GROUND
IT'S NOT GOOD WHEN YOU HEAR
A PILOT WALK INTO THE COCKPIT
AND GO, "OH, BOY
THERE ARE BUTTONS ON THE
CEILING TOO?
SOME BUSINESS NEWS
I SAW THAT THIS MONTH, DUNKIN'
DONUTS IS OFFERING FREE COFFEE
EVERY MONDAY
WELL, IN HONOR OF THAT, WE'D
LIKE TO GIVE A LITTLE SHOUT-OUT
TO THEIR MOST LOYAL CUSTOMER IN
HISTORY.
♪
♪ AFFLECK ALWAYS HAS A DUNKIN'?
HIS HAND ♪
♪ AFFLECK ORDERS JUST TOO LARGE
FOR JUST ONE MAN ♪
♪ AFFLECK DRINKING DUNKIN'
WITHOUT FAIL AFFLECK HE EVEN
DRINKS IT ON HIS MAIL ♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S MY DUDE
OH, I READ ABOUT A WOMAN IN
MINNESOTA WHO WANTED TO SHOW
HER DAUGHTER HER WEDDING DRESS
AND HAD AN INTERESTING
SURPRISE
CHECK THIS OUT
>> A MINNESOTA WOMAN IS ON A
A QUEST TO FIND HER WEDDING
GOWN
SHE PULLED OUT THE BOX SHE PAID
FOR 14 YEARS AGO, AND WAS
SHOCKED TO FIND HER GOWN HAD
BEEN SWAPPED WITH SOMEONE
ELSE'S
>> Jimmy: THEN SHE OPENED THE
FROZEN WEDDING CAKE IN THE
FREEZER AND DISCOVERED IT WAS
A BURRITO.
YEAH, THE WOMAN WAS LIKE, "THIS
CAN'T BE MY WEDDING DRESS
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FIT ME AT
ALL.
AND FINALLY, I HEARD ABOUT A
A MAN IN IDAHO WHO JUST WON THE
LOTTERY FOR THE SIXTH TIME
YEAH, THIS LAST JACKPOT WAS
$250,000
AND WITH THE MONEY, HE PLANS TO
BUY IDAHO.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GIVE IT
UP FOR THE ROOTS
♪
>> Jimmy: IT IS MONDAY
WE'RE EXCITED TO BE BACK,
WHOEVER IS HERE IN THE OFFICE,
IT'S A TOUGH DAY
THANK YOU.
WE'VE GOT AN AMAZING WEEK OF
SHOWS AHEAD.
DREW BARRYMORE, DOLLY PARTON,
KELLY RIPA, AND NOAH CENTINEO
WILL ALL BE JOINING US
AND SHE HAS THE NUMBER ONE SONG
IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW WITH
"DRIVER'S LICENSE.
THREE WEEKS AT THE TOP OF THE
BILLBOARD GLOBAL 200 CHART
OLIVIA RODRIGO WILL BE HERE TO
PERFORM.
WHAT A WEEK.
BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE
FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HE STARS AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCES
THE SHOWTIME SERIES "YOUR
HONOR.
BRYAN CRANSTON IS HERE
PLUS, JOINING US FROM THE SET
OF HIS UPCOMING HBO MAX SERIES
"PEACEMAKER," JOHN CENA IS
HERE
HE MIGHT GIVE US A SNEAK PEEK
AT WHAT "PEACEMAKER" LOOKS
LIKE
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM REMI
WOLF
I'M EXCITED TO SHOW YOU GUYS
THIS THING
THIS IS VERY INTERESTING
YOU KNOW I LIKE TO COME UP WITH
IDEAS, THE WEIRD INVENTIONS,
THE SPINNIES, THE iPHONE POCKET
SQUARE THAT WAS COOL THAT WE
DID WITH J. CREW
I HAD THIS IDEA FOR A NEW
SNEAKER I WAS GOING TO PITCH TO
NIKE
AND IT WAS CALLED THE STEP
LOCK
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE STEP LOCK, THIS
IS MY PITCH.
TO NIKE.
YOU STEP INTO THE SHOE, ALSO
LIKE IT'S A SKI BOOT, AND YOU
CLICK INTO IT, LIKE A SKI TYPE
OF THING
ANYWAYS, WHAT I DID, I'M
FRIENDS WITH SOME OF THE PEOPLE
OVER AT NIKE
AND I'VE DONE THINGS WITH THEM
BEFORE, FOR CHARITY, STUFF LIKE
THAT
NIKE CALLED AND SAID WE'LL TAKE
A MEETING WITH JIMMY
AND SO WE'RE THERE, ALL OF THE
DEVELOPERS, THE HEAD
DEVELOPMENT FOR NIKE IS IN THE
ROOM
MARK SMITH, SWAN PAKE IS IN
THERE.
WE'RE TALKING, I TOOK A SNEAKER
AND I SAWED IT IN HALF
SO I GO, THAT'S THE IDEA
YOU PUT YOUR -- YOU KNOW, I
DON'T WANT TO TIE MY SHOES
ANYMORE.
I WANT TO SLIDE IN AND THEN
STEP CLICK IT ON
YEAH
AND, YOU KNOW, WHAT IF ALSO IF
YOU'RE AN ATHLETE WITH A
A DISABILITY
AND YOU CAN'T USE YOUR HANDS TO
TIE A SHOE OR SOMETHING.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT FOR THEM,
OR FOR THE ELDERLY
IF YOU CAN'T BEND OVER TO PUT
YOUR SHOES ON.
I JUST WANT TO GET IN THERE
AND -- ANYWAYS, THEY TAKE THE
MEETING.
AND I CAN JUST TELL I'M ON TO
SOMETHING.
AND THIS IS MAJOR.
THEY GO, JIMMY, I THINK IT WAS
SWAN WHO SAID TO ME, JIMMY,
THIS IS A GREAT IDEA
THIS IS SO GREAT, THAT WE WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
THEY SHOW ME THIS PRESENTATION
OF SOMETHING THEY'VE BEEN
WORKING ON FOR TEN YEARS
AND IT'S CALLED THE FLY EASE
IT'S CALLED THE NIKE -- ANYWAY,
I RECEIVED THIS BOX IN THE MAIL
TODAY FROM NIKE.
ON THE COVER OF THE BOX IS ALL
OF MY DRAWINGS OF THE STEP LOCK
IDEA SNEAKER THAT I HAD.
WITH MY NAME
NIKE MADE ME THIS AWESOME BOX.
AND ALSO, THEY MADE THE FLY
EASE SHOE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SO THIS IS -- AGAIN, LET ME
SHOW YOU
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS
AT ALL
BUT IT SAYS HERE, JIMMY, THIS
IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S FIRST
PAIRS OF NIKE GO FLY EASE.
LOOK FAMILIAR?
SORRY WE BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
STEP IN AND GO WHEREVER
LAUGHTER AND JOY AWAIT YOU
LET'S GO
SWAN AND THE NIKE FLY EASE
TEAM
I THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL OF THEM
TO DO.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW IT
WORKS.
THEY SAID I WANT YOU TO TRY TO
DO THIS WITHOUT USING YOUR
HAND
SO WE WILL
WHERE SHOULD I DO IT, ON THE
FLOOR HERE
RIGHT HERE
HERE WE GO
SO -- ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO TRY IT, LET'S SEE
IF WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK
♪
YEAH
SO YOU OPEN THAT RIGHT THERE
ALREADY I'M INTO IT.
QUEST, YOU'RE GOING TO FREAK
OUT, DUDE.
>> I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS
READY?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> WHOA!
>> Jimmy: THAT'S IT.
DUDE, I'M NOT -- THESE ARE
AWESOME.
THESE ARE SO COMFY, AND COOL
I'M, LIKE, FREAKING OUT RIGHT
NOW.
LOOK AT THIS
ISN'T THAT CRAZY
THEN YOU FLIP THEM OFF LIKE
THAT
COME ON, NOW
I LOVE IT.
THIS IS THE JAM.
LOOK AT THE TECHNOLOGY
LOOK AT THE TECHNOLOGY THERE
IT'S A BAND RIGHT THERE.
I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
BECAUSE NIKE, WHEN THEY DO
THINGS, THEY JUST DO IT WITH -
>> THEY DO IT.
THEY JUST DO IT.
>> Jimmy: THEY JUST DO IT.
>> THEY JUST DO IT
>> Jimmy: THEY JUST DO IT, BUT
THEY DO IT WITH LOVE AND WITH
CARE, AND THEY'RE THINKING
ABOUT PEOPLE AND HOW TO MAKE
PEOPLE'S LIFE EASIER
THERE'S JUST -- THEY HAVE
A HEART.
THEY HAVE A HEART, AND THEY
HAVE A HEART AND A SOUL.
>> YEAH.
YEAH, MAN.
>> Jimmy: A HEART AND A SOUL
IT JUST COMES TO ME.
THERE'S A HEART AND A SOUL OF
THE COMPANY.
AND A LOVE
ANYWAYS, THANK YOU, NIKE, SWAN,
EVERYONE AT NIKE FOR SENDING
THESE OVER
THAT WAS PRETTY COOL
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> DON'T FORGET THE ROOTS.
>> Jimmy: THESE SOCKS ARE NOT
AVAILABLE IN STORES.
YOU HAVE TO BUY THEM OFF OF AN
AMERICAN GIRL DOLL
GUYS, I AM SO PSYCHED THAT
BRYAN CRANSTON IS HERE
WE ALWAYS LOVE HAVING HIM.
WE WERE ACTUALLY TEXTING OVER
THE WEEKEND, AND IT TURNS OUT
THAT WE'RE BOTH OBSESSED WITH
FANCY SOAPS.
YEAH, HERE, CHECK THIS OUT
♪
♪ FANCY SOAPS I
A FANCY DISH
ONE'S A SEASHELL
ONE'S A FISH ♪
♪ ONE SOAP'S PURPLE
ONE SOAP'S TEA
ONE SOAPS MADE
WITH DRIED OATMEAL ♪
♪ LAVENDER LEMONGRASS
LILY LILAC
THIS ONE COMES IN A DRAWSTRING
SACK ♪
♪ TINY SOAP
VANILLA AND PLUM
PUT THEM OUT
WHEN COMPANY COMES ♪
♪ SOAPS WERE MADE
TO MAKE YOU CLEANE
THIS ONE'S CITRU
THAT ONE'S MADINA ♪
♪ HEART-SHAPED SOAP
FOR A LOVE THAT'S TRUE
CRYSTAL SOAP THAT YO
CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH ♪
♪ DISH TERRIN
PLATTER TRAY
FANCY SOAPS GO
ON DISPLAY ♪
♪ PINE TREE SOA
TO PUT IN YOUR POCKE
GOAT MILK SOAP
FROM THE FARMER'S MARKET ♪
♪ TEA TIME SOAP
WITH CHAMOMILE
SHEA BUTTER SOAP
FOR A SOFT APPEAL ♪
♪ FRUITY SOAPS SMEL
LIKE FRUIT SNACK
LAVA SOAP THAT
IS ENTIRELY BLACK ♪
♪ WHEN A FRIEND STOPS B
WHETHER READY OR NOT
NO LIQUID SOAP
FOR A TWO-PUMP SHOT ♪
♪ NOT POTPOURRI
NOR CANDLESTICKS
JUST FANCY SOAPS
IN A FANCY DISH ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
BRYAN CRANSTON
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE
BREAK, EVERYBODY
COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS AN
EMMY WINNER, A TONY WINNER, AND
A "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR
HE IS THE STAR AND EXECUTIVE
PRODUCER OF THE SHOW TIME
SERIES "YOUR HONOR," WHICH AIRS
SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 10:00 P.M
HERE HE IS, THE ONE AND ONLY
BRYAN CRANSTON
>> HEY, JIMMY.
>> OH, LOOK AT YOU
YOU ARE THE BEST
YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD, BUDDY.
WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU STOP BY AND
WE APPRECIATE IT ALWAYS,
ALWAYS, ALWAYS
THANK YOU FOR GOING ABOVE AND
BEYOND AND DOING "FANCY SOAPS.
THAT WAS FUN
>> IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I AM
A FANCY SOAP COLLECTOR AND YOU
DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT.
>> Jimmy: I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
>> AMAZING
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T REALIZE
THIS, BUT SOAP ACTUALLY PLAYS
A BIG PART IN YOUR ACTING
CAREER
ONE OF YOUR FIRST GIGS WAS A
A SOAP COMMERCIAL, AND WE HAVE
A PHOTO.
HERE IS A SHOT OF BRYAN
CRANSTON IN HIS SHIELD SOAP
COMMERCIAL
THAT'S A STUD RIGHT THERE.
COME ON.
DO YOU REMEMBER GETTING THIS
GIG?
>> A YOUNG MAN
YEAH, I DO REMEMBER.
IN ORDER TO GET A SOAP
COMMERCIAL YOU HAVE TO GO IN
REALLY STINKY.
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S GOOD TO
KNOW
>> I MEAN, YEAH, IT IS AFTER
BIG GARLIC MEAL THE NIGHT
BEFORE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I GOT YOU.
>> AND A FEW DRINKS STINKY AND
RUNNING IN SWEATS AND COMING IN
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO SHOW THE
PRODUCT WORKS.
>> Jimmy: SOMETHING ELSE I
DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BEFORE
YOUR ACTING CAREER TOOK OFF,
YOU WERE BRIEFLY A STAND-UP
COMEDIAN
WHAT GOT YOU INTO STAND-UP, DO
YOU REMEMBER
>> YOU KNOW, JIMMY, IT COMES
MORE NATURALLY TO YOU BUT I
DIDN'T COME NATURALLY TO ME.
I WAS AFRAID OF IT
I THINK THE ONLY REASON I
THOUGHT I SHOULD DO SOME
STAND-UP IS BECAUSE IT
FRIGHTENED ME, AND JUST THE
IDEA OF YOU'RE ALONE ON STAGE,
A MICROPHONE AND A LIGHT
SHINING ON YOU, AND THAT'S IT.
GO
AND I THOUGHT, WOW, TO BE ABLE
TO DO THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.
SO I TOOK A CLASS AND STARTED
WRITING SOME MATERIAL, AND WENT
AROUND TO THE COMEDY STORE AND
THE IMPROV AND THE LAUGH STOP
AND THE PLAYBOY CLUB IN LOS
ANGELES AND DID THE ROUTINE.
I NEVER GOT PAID FOR IT, FOR
SHOULD I EVER HAVE BEEN PAID
FOR IT
>> Jimmy: NOPE
>> I JUST DID THE OPEN MIC
NIGHTS, AND I ROSE FROM -- I
ROSE ALL THE WAY UP TO THE
LOFTY POSITION OF MEDIOCRE
>> Jimmy: OH, CONGRATULATIONS.
OH, MY GOD
WOW.
YOU GOT ALL THE WAY UP TO
MEDIOCRE, YEAH
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER ANY
OF YOUR SET AT ALL, ANY JOKES?
>> WELL, THE ONE THAT REALLY
WORKED THE BEST WAS WHEN I WAS
TALKING ABOUT HOW THE PLIGHT OF
CAR SALES IN THE COUNTRY HAVE
GONE DOWN AND, YOU KNOW,
PARTICULARLY MEN, MUCH MORE
WOMEN ARE BUYING CARS THAN MEN
I SAID THERE'S AN EASY WAY FOR
MEN TO BUY CARS, JUST NAME THEM
AFTER WOMEN'S BODY PARTS
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH
>> IT IS LIKE, GUYS, HOW ABOUT
THE PERKY LITTLE FORD NIPPLE
>> Jimmy: I SEE A GOOD BIT
THAT WOULD TOTALLY WORK.
I SEE IT ALREADY
EARLIER IN YOUR INTRO I WAS
LISTING YOUR AWARDS.
YOU WON A TONY, YOU WON AN
EMMY, YOU'RE A "NEW YORK TIMES"
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR.
YOU WON ANOTHER AWARD.
YOU HAVE AN AWARD-WINNING
MESCAL
>> YEAH.
WE JUST WON DOUBLE GOLD, YEAH,
FROM "CIGAR AND SPIRITS
MAGAZINE."
DOS HOMBRES.
>> Jimmy: DOS HOMBRES MESCAL
>> DOS HOBRES.
>> Jimmy: YOU AND AARON PAUL
GOT TOGETHER AND STARTED
I LOVE THIS.
>> YOU KNOW, ABOUT THREE YEARS
AFTER THE END OF "BREAKING BAD"
WE WERE IN NEW YORK TOGETHER
HAVING DINNER AND WE HADN'T
SEEN EACH OTHER A LOT SINCE
THEN
IT WAS, GOD, I MISS YOU, YOU
KNOW, WE USED TO SEE EACH OTHER
ALL THE TIME AND IT WAS SO
INTIMATE AND WE WERE REALLY
GOOD FRIENDS, BUT LIFE GOES ON
AND YOU MOVE ON TO OTHER
THINGS
HE SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT WE OUGHT
TO DO IS START A MESCAL
COMPANY.
AND I WENT, YOU'RE KIDDING, THE
THING WITH THE WORM AT THE
BOTTOM
HE GOES, THAT'S A BS MARKETING
THING.
I MEAN REALLY GOOD MESCAL.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS THAT.
THAT WAS IT, THAT'S WHAT I KNEW
IT AT.
>> YEAH, THAT WAS HORRIBLE AND
CHEAP.
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
HE TOOK ME TO A MESCAL BAR
WE TASTED A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT
KINDS AND I SAID, THIS IS
DELICIOUS.
WE WENT DOWN FOR A WEEK AND
TESTED AND TASTED ABOUT 80
DIFFERENT MESCALS UNTIL WE
FOUND DOS HOMBRES.
IT IS JUST A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT.
>> Jimmy: IT IS DELICIOUS.
>> OLD WORLD, GLUTEN FREE.
IT IS FANTASTIC.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE SOME AND IT IS
ACTUALLY DELICIOUS
I LOVE IT.
BUT THAT'S CRAZY THAT YOU JUST
DO THAT OUT OF LOVE OF MISSING
EACH OTHER AND YOU GO, LET'S
JUST DO THIS SO WE'RE FORCED TO
TALK TO EACH OTHER AND HANG
OUT.
>> THERE'S A REASON FOR US TO
TALK TO EACH OTHER EVERY DAY,
YEAH
>> Jimmy: HEY, I WANT TO TALK
ABOUT YOUR SHOW TIME SERIES
"YOUR HONOR.
FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN IT,
CAN YOU SET THIS UP?
>> YEAH.
"YOUR HONOR" IS ABOUT
A SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE AND HIS
SON.
HIS SON IS 17, A SWEET KID, AND
HE UNFORTUNATELY GETS INVOLVED
IN A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT WHERE
A BOY DIES AND HE PANICS AND HE
LEAVES THE SCENE OF THE
ACCIDENT THEREBY BECOMING
A CRIME SCENE. WHEN HE TELLS ME
AND CONFESSES WHAT HAPPENED, I
TELL HIM, YOU'VE GOT TO DO THE
RIGHT THING, YOU HAVE TO BE
ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS
AND I CONVINCE HIM, WE'RE GOING
TO TURN HIM IN TO THE POLICE
AND GO THROUGH THE SYSTEM.
STATION I NOTICE THE PARENTS OF
THE BOY WHO DIED THAT MORNING
AND THE MAN, THE FATHER IS A
A VICIOUS MOB BOSS AND I KNOW
THAT THAT MAN WILL KILL MY SON
REGARDLESS OF WHOSE FAULT IT
WAS OR ANYTHING.
AND SO WITH THAT NEW
INFORMATION I REALIZE I CAN'T
JUST TURN MY SON IN TO BE
KILLED, I HAVE TO PROTECT HIM.
SO WE DO AN ABOUT FACE AND WE
LEAVE, AND FROM THAT POINT ON
WE REVERSE ENGINEER EVERYTHING
THAT HAPPENED, CREATING ALIBIS,
DESTROYING EVIDENCE,
MANIPULATING THE JURY SYSTEM
AND THE WHOLE THING, AND, OF
COURSE, IT IS A DOWNWARD
SPIRAL
IT IS VERY TENSE, VERY
EMOTIONAL.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I JUST DIDN'T THANK THAT THE
SOCIETY HAD ENOUGH ANXIETY IN
THEIR LIVES SO WE'RE
CONTRIBUTING
>> YOU THINK PEOPLE NEED MORE?
NO
>> WE NEED MORE.
>> Jimmy: IT IS A HIT AND
CONGRATS
I KNOW YOU DIRECT THE FINALE
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: COMING UP.
>> YEAH, I DIRECT THE TENTH
EPISODE OF IT, AND IT IS -- YOU
KNOW, IT IS VERY INTERESTING
DIRECTING YOURSELF. THE
DIRECTOR ME WILL ALWAYS
APPROACH THE ACTOR ME AND SAY
SOMETHING LIKE, WOW, I MEAN
YOU'RE A LOT BETTER LOOKING
THAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
>> Jimmy: SLOW CLAP.
>> AND THEN THE ACTOR ME GETS
FLUSTERED AND FEELS THE
FLIRTATION AND SLEEPS WITH THE
DIRECTOR
IT IS KIND OF NASTY REALLY
>> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN SLEEPING WITH THE
DIRECTOR
>> OH, MANY YEARS, AND IT
HASN'T GOTTEN ME VERY FAR.
I'M ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED, TOO
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
>> REALLY.
IS THAT IT
REALLY
THAT'S ALL
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS ALL
YEAH, I LIKED THE FLIRTING
BETTER
WELL, HERE IS BRYAN CRANSTON,
NOT NECESSARILY DIRECTED BY
BRYAN CRANSTON, IN "YOUR
HONOR.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> 12 OF OUR PEERS WILL DO
EXACTLY WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO,
TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY I AM
MAKING A MOVE.
NOW, ARE WE DONE HERE?
>> ONLY NUMBER IN HERE IS MINE
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE
AND WHEN YOU'VE DONE IT, AND I
WANT IT BY 10:00 A.M. THE DAY
AFTER TOMORROW
LET'S CALL THAT A DEADLINE, AND
LET'S GIVE THAT WORD ITS
LITERAL MEANING.
>> Jimmy: BRYAN CRANSTON,
EVERYBODY.
CHECK OUT "YOUR HONOR" SUNDAY
NIGHTS AT 10:00 P.M. ON
SHOWTIME
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN
CENA
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING
BACK TO OUR SHOW, BUDDY.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> THANK YOU, JIMMY.
THANK YOU, BUDDY
BE WELL.
>> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A
A GREAT ACTOR, A 16-TIME WWE
WORLD CHAMPION AND A
A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR.
YOU CAN ALSO SEE HIM IN A SUPER
BOWL COMMERCIAL FOR MOUNTAIN
DEW, MAJOR MELON, HERE IS
JOHN CENA!
>> WOW
HELLO, JIMMY
>> Jimmy: WOW, JOHN.
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO
SOMETHING.
>> THIS IS MY JOB.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR -- WAIT,
I LOVE IT.
THIS IS "PEACEMAKER"
>> THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL
INTERVIEW THAT "PEACEMAKER" HAS
EVER DONE AND I WANTED TO
BESTOW IT UPON YOU, AND IT IS
A REALLY SPECIAL OCCASION.
SO THANKS FOR HAVING ME, MAN
I LOVE BEING THERE IN PERSON,
BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE MILES AWAY I
WANTED TO -- I WANT
"PEACEMAKER" TO SHOW UP.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, I LOVE THIS.
WAIT
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
BECAUSE THIS IS -- WE TALKED
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE.
YOU WERE OUR FIRST GUEST
IN-STUDIO, BY THE WAY.
THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT
YOU SAID YOU'RE DOING
A SPIN-OFF SERIES FOR
"PEACEMAKER" AND HERE YOU ARE
AS -- ARE YOU ON SET
>> YEAH, SO THIS IS ACTUALLY
"PEACEMAKER'S" HOUSE, AND ON
THE CONTRARY, "PEACEMAKER" WAS
LIKE A POLAR OPPOSITE OF BRUCE
WAYNE WHERE BRUCE WAYNE WOULD
BE A BILLIONAIRE WITH A BAT
CAVE
I LING IN A SINGLE WIDE AND
THIS IS MY OUTFIT.
SO IT IS A BIT OF AN
INTERESTING STORY AND A BIT OF
A NEW TALE
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE
THIS CHARACTER
>> I WOULD SAY LIKE A DOUCHEY,
BROEY CAPTAIN AMERICA.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE IT.
CAN YOU SHOW -- DO YOU HAVE
PANTS, DO YOU HAVE A CAPE?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
>> OH, DUDE, IF YOU WANTED TO
GET WEIRD, I WILL SHOW YOU THE
FULL PIECE
IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, I DON'T WANT
TO GET WEIRD
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
I LOVE THAT YOU DID THIS
THAT COMES OUT IN AUGUST,
RIGHT, "THE SUICIDE SQUAD"
>> YES, IN AUGUST AND
"PEACEMAKER" WILL BE OUT
SHORTLY ON HBO MAX
>> Jimmy: I HEARD THIS RUMOR
ABOUT YOU IN THE MOVIE, AND LET
ME KNOW IF IT IS TRUE, THAT ONE
OF THE MOST DIFFICULT SCENES IN
THE MOVIE INVOLVED YOU EATING
AN EMPANADA.
WE HAVE A PHOTO OF SOME --
>> OH, MAN
THE STUNTS WERE INCREDIBLE AND
FILMING THE MOVIE WAS
TREACHEROUS, BUT THAT RIGHT
THERE IS THE FACE OF DEFEAT.
THAT IS ME EATING MY 37th OF 40
EMPANADAS.
WE HAD TO DO THIS ONE, BIG TAKE
BECAUSE THE HORRIBLY BEAUTIFUL,
CORRUPTED MIND OF JAMES GUNN
OPERATES IN SO MANY INTRICATE
PIECES AND YOU WANTED THIS BIG,
GIANT TAKE WHERE I THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE COOL, OH, IT WOULD BE
FUN TO EAT THE WHOLE EMPANADA.
THROW THE THING OVER MY
SHOULDER, THE GUY CATCHES IT
IT IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
EVERYBODY IS GOING TO THINK IT
IS AWESOME
I HAD TO DO IT 40 TIMES AND
NEARLY ATE MYSELF SICK, AND YOU
CAN TELL BY THAT PICTURE I WAS
NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY.
THAT WAS MY MOST DIFFICULT
STUNT IN "THE SUICIDE QUAD."
>> Jimmy: COULD WE SEE THAT
PHOTO ONE MORE TIME?
IT WAS JUST SUCH A GOOD PHOTO.
IT HAS TO JUST -- OH, MY GOD
IS THAT NUMBER 38?
>> THAT DOESN'T TURN OUT TO BE
SOME SORT OF MEME, THEN THE
MEME CULTURE IS DEAD
>> Jimmy: EXACTLY, RIGHT
JOHN, I READ THAT LAST YEAR WAS
THE FIRST YEAR THAT YOU WEREN'T
ABLE TO COMPETE IN WWE RAW
THIS IS 2004, BUT YOU WILL BE
BACK, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I WILL.
I JUST, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU
KNOW, THE STATE OF THE WORLD, I
MEAN I'M NOT SITTING HERE ON
THE COUCH NEXT TO YOU.
IT IS A DIFFICULT AND
UNPREDICTABLE TIME, AND RIGHT
NOW I'M DOING THIS
I'M FILMING "PEACEMAKER" AND
THAT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT OF
MY TIME AND I CAN'T BOUNCE BACK
AND FORTH DUE TO INTERNATIONAL
RESTRICTIONS
SO ANOTHER LEAST FOR THE TIME
BEING I'M HERE, AND I'M STILL
AWAY FROM WWE BUT I VERY MUCH
LOOK FORWARD TO RETURNING AS
SOON AS I POSSIBLY CAN
>> Jimmy: YOU REALLY ARE ONE OF
THE HARDEST WORKING GUYS I
KNOW
IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING
YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE ALSO IN A
A SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL THIS
YEAR
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE
COMMERCIAL BECAUSE IT IS FOR
THE NEW MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR
MELON, AND THIS IS YOUR
SECOND -
>> YEAH, MAN, LET'S TALK ABOUT
IT
>> Jimmy: IT IS YOUR SECOND
SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL, IT IS
JUST INTERESTING TO ME
>> I KNOW, BACK-TO-BACK SUPER
BOWLS.
I MEAN THIS IS INCREDIBLE,
SECOND SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL
THIS IS GREAT.
>> Jimmy: I MEAN I HATE TO CUT
YOU OFF AND EVERYTHING LIKE
THAT, BUT LAST YEAR I ASKED YOU
TO BE IN A SUPER BOWL
COMMERCIAL WITH ME AND THIS
YEAR YOU'RE IN A COMMERCIAL.
I JUST FIND IT INTERESTING
THAT -- THAT YOU DIDN'T ASK ME
TO BE IN IT.
>> OH, YEAH.
NO, NO, NO
SO LONG STORY SHORT, MOUNTAIN
DEW MAJOR MELON CAME TO ME AND
SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT, WE WANT TO
DO THIS AWESOME SUPER BOWL
COMMERCIAL THAT'S GOING TO
REINVENT ADVERTISING AND THE
WAY PEOPLE WATCH THE BIG GAME.
WHO DO YOU WANT YOUR SIDE KICK
TO BE?
I SAID, OF COURSE, I WANT IT TO
BE JIMMY FALLON.
THEY SAID, WE CAN DO THAT OR WE
CAN GIVEAWAY ON BEHALF OF
MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR MELON A
A MILLION DOLLARS AND CHANGE
SOMEBODY'S LIFE.
SO I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WHAT
WOULD JIMMY FALLON DO?
JIMMY FALLON IS A MAN OF THE
PEOPLE
JIMMY FALLON WOULD WANT TO
CHANGE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
JIMMY, DON'T YOU WANT TO GIVE
SOMEONE THE CHANCE TO WIN
A MILLION DOLLARS?
>> Jimmy: YES!
>> YES
SO SCREW YOU BEING IN THE SUPER
BOWL COMMERCIAL.
YOU'RE THE MAN THAT'S GOING TO
BE THE VEHICLE TO GIVE SOMEBODY
A MILLION DOLLARS IF THEY CAN
IDENTIFY ALL OF THE BOTTLES OF
MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR MELON IN THE
BIG GAME'S COMMERCIAL.
>> Jimmy: OKAY
I FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER
ABOUT THIS
SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
IS IF YOU WATCH THE COMMERCIAL
DURING THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU
HAVE TO COUNT HOW MANY MAJOR
MELON BOTTLES ARE IN THE
COMMERCIAL
IF YOU CAN COUNT THEM AND --
>> THIS ONE IS A LAY-UP.
EVERYONE IS ALREADY GOING TO BE
WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL.
WATCH THE MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR
MELON COMMERCIAL, BECAUSE YOU
WILL BE WATCHING ALL OF THE
COMMERCIALS, COUNT THE NUMBER
OF MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR MELON
BOTTLES THAT YOU SEE, POST IT
AND TAG MOUNTAIN DEW'S TWITTER
HANDLE
IF YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU CAN WIN A
A MILLION DOLLARS AND THAT'S IN
A LONG WAY, THANKS TO YOU,
JIMMY FALLON
THANKS TO YOU.
>> Jimmy: WOW, I JUST WANT TO
SAY I'M HONORED AND I CAN'T
WAIT TO SEE WHAT I DO.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE
SOMEBODY'S LIFE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE
SOMEBODY'S LIFE.
>> Jimmy: SEE.
>> JIMMY FALLON, GIVING AWAY A
A MILLION BUCKS.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE
THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS
DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME WHEN
WE COME BACK
>> I WOULD LOVE TO
>> Jimmy: HERE WE GO
>> SLAP YOU IN A FACE, YOU GIVE
$3,000 AWAY, BUT, YES, I WILL
PLAY A GAME WITH YOU
>> Jimmy: MORE WITH JOHN CENA
AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYONE
WE ARE HERE WITH JOHN CENA
NOW, JOHN, YOU'RE A MAN OF MANY
TALENTS SO I WANTED TO PUT YOUR
THINKING SKILLS TO THE TEST.
IT IS TIME FOR "THINK FAST."
>> ONE, TWO, THREE, THINK FAST
>> Jimmy: NOW, HERE IS HOW IT
WORKS.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS
ASKING EACH OTHER FIVE TOTALLY
RANDOM QUESTIONS
ONE PERSON ASKS THE QUESTIONS,
THE OTHER PERSON HAS TO ANSWER
EACH QUESTION AS SOON AS IT IS
ASKED, AND I MEAN IMMEDIATELY.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE ANSWER
IS RIGHT OR WRONG.
IT JUST HAS TO BE THE FIRST
THING THAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD
>> SURE, LET'S DO THIS
>> Jimmy: JOHN, BECAUSE YOU'RE
THE GUEST, I'M GOING TO READ
YOUR QUESTION FIRST.
READY?
CAN WE DIM THE LIGHTS HERE
HERE WE GO
WHAT DO YOU CALL THE HOLE IN
THE DOUGHNUT
>> IT IS THE MISSING LINK, THE
SPACE BETWEEN.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT NOISE IN
THE BASEMENT
>> THAT WOULD BE MY FART AND
WEATHER MACHINE MALFUNCTIONING
AGAIN.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS A WEATHER YOU
WON'T FIND IN THE DICTIONARY
>> BLUE PLUMPKIN AND YOU CAN
USE YOUR MIND TO PUT TOGETHER
WHAT THAT MEANS.
YOU WILL FIND IT IN THE URBAN
DICTIONARY MAYBE
>> Jimmy: WHY DIDN'T LINDA
INVITE TERRY TO HER PARTY?
>> BECAUSE THERE'S A LONG BACK
STORY THERE HAVING TO DO WITH
TERRY OPENING AN ONLY-FANS
ACCOUNT AND LINDA NOT KNOWING
ABOUT IT AND BEING UPSET
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
WHAT DID IT SAY IN YOUR FORTUNE
COOKIE
>> MAN WHO HAS TOO MUCH TO
DRINK AT NIGHT WAKE UP WITH
YELLOW PANTS IN THE MORNING.
>> Jimmy: CORRECT, THAT IS
TRUE
THAT IS TRUE
NICE JOB
THAT WAS FAST THINKING
NOW, IT IS MY TURN, JOHN
WHENEVER YOU ARE READY YOU CAN
ASK ME THE QUESTION.
>> HERE WE GO.
QUESTION ONE, WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH MY $700
>> Jimmy: I DOUBLED IT ON FAN
DUEL
>> WHO IS THE FIFTH NINJA
TURTLE
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CARLOS
>> CARLOS, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
SHIFT IN GEOGRAPHY
WHAT IS YOUR NEW CATCH PHRASE
GOING TO BE?
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT ME
>> I LOVE IT
WHY DID YOU KISS THAT TREE
>> Jimmy: LOOK, I HAD BEEN DAY
DRINKING AND IT IS THE LAST
TIME I -- I WOULD EVER DO THAT,
BUT I'M A GROWN MAN NOW AND
I'VE SEEN THE TREE AND THE
TREE, I WILL SAY, IS HAPPILY
MARRIED TO ANOTHER TRUE.
>> IT ALL TURNED OUT GREAT
THEN
LASTLY, SAY A SENTENCE NO ONE
HAS EVER SAID BEFORE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AN EXCITING
EPISODE OF FISHING
I DON'T KNOW
I HAVE NO IDEA
NOW IT IS TIME FOR THE FINAL
ROUND.
IN THIS ROUND WE'LL BOTH HAVE
THE SAME SET OF QUESTIONS AND
WE'LL ASK AND ANSWER THEM ONE
AT A TIME, GOING BACK AND
FORTH.
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS
>> FAIR.
LET'S DO THIS.
>> Jimmy: COULD WE DIM THE
LIGHTS
OKAY
NOW IT IS OFFICIAL
WHAT'S THE WORST PICKUP LINE
>> I REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOU
TO SATISFY MY SEXUAL NEED.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING TO PROM
>> Jimmy: CUE LOTS
WHAT IS THE RUMOR ABOUT TOMMY?
>> IT IS THAT TOMMY IS AN ALIEN
AND ALSO LOVES TO PLAY GIN
RUMMY WHICH IS FASCINATING
BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK
EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE WOULD BE
THAT INTO CARDS.
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> WHAT'S A NOISE AN ANIMAL
DOESN'T MAKE
>> Jimmy: KA-FLOO.
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: WHO INVENTED Wi-Fi
>> THAT WOULD BE JAMES ANDERSON
TIMBUKTU
IF COASTERS COULD TALK, WHAT
WOULD THEY SAY
>> Jimmy: MMM.
>> FAIR.
>> Jimmy: WHY CAN'T I SEE YOU?
>> WELL, IT IS BECAUSE IN
CERTAIN ENVIRONMENTS WHEN I PUT
MY HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE I
DO BECOME INVISIBLE AND I'M
A SUPERHERO.
I HAVE POWERS, DUDE.
WHY IS GRANDMA IN JAIL
>> Jimmy: EVERYONE THINKS IT IS
MONEY LAUNDERING, BUT, NO, SHE
PUSHED HER HUSBAND OFF THE
UPPER DECK OF A CRUISE SHIP TO
GET ON "DATELINE."
>> FAIR.
>> Jimmy: SING A SONG ABOUT
PENGUINS
♪ PENGUINS ARE FROM THE COLD
POLAR NORTH AND SOUTH MAYBE DUE
TO GEOGRAPHY ♪
♪ THEY LIKE COLD WEATHER AND
THEY WALK FUNNY AND CUTE ♪
♪ AND THEY'RE ALSO THE SYMBOL
OF A PUBLISHING COMPANY ♪
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
THAT'S A GOOD TWIST ENDING TO
THAT ONE
>> YELL A TYPE OF SOUP
>> Jimmy: MINESTRONE
>> I KNOW THAT WAS GOING TO BE
IT
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY
MINESTRONE
>> Jimmy: YOU DID?
>> I DID
NOBODY IS GOING TO GO FOR
VEGETABLE OR GAZPACHO.
YOU WERE GOING MINESTRONE ALL
THE WAY.
>> Jimmy: I WAS THINKING
CHICKEN NOODLE COULD BE ONE,
TOO, BUT I WENT MINESTRONE
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DUDE, I HAVE A CONNECTION.
I WILL SEE YOU DURING THE SUPER
BOWL
>> I THINK THAT GAME SHOWS US
NEITHER ONE OF US CAN THINK
FAST
>> Jimmy: THAT'S IT.
WE DID
THAT WAS IT.
WE DID -- WE JUST THOUGHT FAST
THAT WAS THOUGHT FAST WITH JOHN
CENA
CHECK OUT JOHN'S COMMERCIAL FOR
MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR MELON AIRING
DURING THE SUPER BOWL THIS
SUNDAY
COUNT THOSE BOTTLES.
I LOVE THAT AD
>> CHEERS TO YOU, JIMMY FALLON
>> Jimmy: STICK AROUND
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
COME ON.
♪
>> Jimmy: PERFORMING "HELLO,
HELLO, HELLO" AND "PHOTO I.D."
FROM HER EP "I'M ALLERGIC TO
DOGS," HERE'S REMI WOLF!
♪
♪ HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO
HELL
THERE HE GO MY BAB
NEVER ANSWERS IN THE ROOM ♪
♪ STEPS OUTSIDE
OR PUTS IT ON SNOOZE
HE JUST DO WHATEVER HE DO ♪
♪ ME AND MY BABY USED T
WAKE UP A LITTLE PAST NOON
NOW HE'S WAKIN' UP TOO SOON ♪
♪ TO GET ON THE PHONE
WITH YOU
LIKE HELLO HELLO HELLO ♪
♪ HOW'S MY LITTLE LAD
IN THE NEW YORK SNOW
YEAH HE SAYS I LOVE YO
I LOVE YOU LOADS ♪
♪ WE GOT A CERTIFIED GAMBLE
MESSIN' WITH M
HELLO HELLO HELLO ♪
♪ I GOT ONE FOOT IN
AND ONE OUT THE DOOR
I THINK IT'S 'BOUT TIM
THAT I TAKE CONTROL ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M
CERTIFIED GAMBLE
MESSIN' WITH M
HELLO HELLO HELLO ♪
♪ HELLO HELLO HELLO
NEW WEEK NO SLEEP NO KEY
I LOST 'EM IN THE STREET ♪
♪ AND NO I CAN'T SE
WITHOUT YO
BILLY AND BADU
I'LL FOLLOW YOU ♪
♪ INTO ANY ROOM
'CAUSE I CAN'T HEA
WITHOUT YOU ♪
♪ GETS WEIRD WHEN
YOU TALK ABOUT IT ♪
♪
♪ LIT IN LINE
SMILE FOR THE PHOTO ID
INSIDE THAT'S WHER
WE CAN BE FREE ♪
♪ YOUR HIGHNESS
CAUGHT YOU SIPPIN' ON LEAN
REMINDS ME THAT'S HO
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ♪
♪ YOU FELL ASLEEP TOO FAS
I WANT MY MONEY BACK
BUT I CAN'T DEAL
WITHOUT YOU ♪
♪ STUCK BEHIND YOUR BEA
I KICK MY FEET U
YOU'RE SO MEAN ♪
♪ BUT I CAN'T DREAM
WITHOUT YO
GETS WEIRD WHE
YOU TALK ABOUT IT ♪
♪ LIT IN LINE
SMILE FOR THE PHOTO ID
INSIDE THAT'S WHER
WE CAN BE FREE ♪
♪ YOUR HIGHNESS
CAUGHT YOU SIPPIN' ON LEAN
REMINDS ME THAT'S HO
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ♪
♪ OOH BAB
TURN OFF THE LIGHT
YOU'RE GONNA MAK
MY BODY FRY ♪
♪ OOH BABY DON'T YOU CR
GETS WEIRD WHE
YOU TALK ABOUT IT ♪
♪ OOH BAB
TURN OFF THE LIGHT
YOU'RE GONNA MAK
MY BODY FRY ♪
♪ OOH BABY DON'T YOU CR
GETS WEIRD WHE
YOU TALK ABOUT IT ♪
♪ LIT IN LINE
SMILE FOR THE PHOTO ID
INSIDE THAT'S WHER
WE CAN BE FREE ♪
♪ YOUR HIGHNESS
CAUGHT YOU SIPPIN' ON LEAN
REMINDS ME THAT'S HO
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ♪
♪ SEE THAT GIRL AROUND YO
I'LL BE STEPPING ON HER TOES
YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME THINGS
THAT I DIDN'T WANNA KNOW ♪
♪ SEE THAT GIRL AROUND YO
I'LL BE STEPPING ON HER TOES
YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME THINGS
THAT I DIDN'T WANNA KNOW ♪
♪ AND IF I SEE THAT GIR
AROUND YOU I'LL BE
STEPPIN' ON HER TOES ♪
♪ YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME
THINGS THAT I DIDN'T
WANNA KNOW ♪
♪ AND IF I SEE THAT GIR
AROUND YOU I'LL BE
STEPPIN' ON HER TOES ♪
♪
♪ LIT IN LINE
SMILE FOR THE PHOTO ID
INSIDE THAT'S WHER
WE CAN BE FREE ♪
♪ YOUR HIGHNESS
CAUGHT YOU SIPPIN' ON LEAN
REMINDS ME THAT'S HO
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU TO
REMI WOLF.
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE
COME BACK, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR
WATCHING EVERYBODY
STAY SAFE.
WEAR A MASK.
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪