1 00:00:22,076 --> 00:00:23,444 Steve: FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF 2 00:00:23,444 --> 00:00:27,048 NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:27,048 --> 00:00:30,017 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - NORMAN REEDUS, 4 00:00:30,017 --> 00:00:34,722 CHARLI AND DIXIE D'AMELIO, COMEDIAN MIKE VECCHIONE, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:34,722 --> 00:00:40,628 ROOTS CREW AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:48,936 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 7 00:00:48,936 --> 00:01:03,684 Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HELLO! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:01:03,684 --> 00:01:09,156 AND WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW" EVERYONE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 9 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,827 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE WELL, GUYS, BIG NEWS IN 10 00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,328 WASHINGTON TODAY AS CONGRESS FINALLY PASSED THE $1.9 TRILLION COVID RELIEF 11 00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:22,703 PACKAGE. THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 12 00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:25,106 MOST AMERICANS ARE THRILLED THE BILL PASSED. IN FACT, PRESIDENT BIDEN IS SO 13 00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:32,246 AMPED, HE JUST BIT HIS DOG [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, THIS BILL 14 00:01:32,246 --> 00:01:36,417 IS HUGE, IT'S $1.9 TRILLION. THAT'S LIKE A DOLLAR FOR EVERY EMAIL YOU GOT THIS YEAR THAT 15 00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:42,323 STARTED WITH, "IN THESE CHALLENGING TIMES. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 16 00:01:42,323 --> 00:01:44,725 MEANWHILE, TOMORROW, PRESIDENT BIDEN WILL DELIVER HIS FIRST PRIMETIME ADDRESS TO 17 00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:50,398 MARK THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE COVID SHUTDOWN. YEAH, ONE YEAR AGO, TODAY, MANY 18 00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:53,801 AMERICANS LEFT HALF A SANDWICH IN THEIR OFFICE LIKE, "EH, I'LL GET IT TOMORROW. 19 00:01:53,801 --> 00:01:59,740 [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, BIDEN'S VERY BUSY YESTERDAY, HE VISITED A LOCAL 20 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,943 HARDWARE STORE THAT RECEIVED A A SMALL BUSINESS LOAN. AND I THOUGHT HIS CONVERSATION 21 00:02:02,943 --> 00:02:07,248 WITH THE OWNERS WAS PRETTY INTERESTING. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 22 00:02:08,983 --> 00:02:11,419 HERE IT'S AN HONOR. YOU GOT YOURSELF A REAL NICE 23 00:02:11,419 --> 00:02:14,088 HAMMER STORE, JACK [ LAUGHTER ] WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I'D TAKE 24 00:02:14,088 --> 00:02:18,426 DATES TO THE HAMMER STORE, SHOW THEM THE CAMPING FOOD. THESE CAMPERS, THEY'D EAT DUST 25 00:02:18,426 --> 00:02:23,230 THAT YOU GET WET AND TURNS INTO JUICY CORNCOBS BACK THEN, I'D EAT MY FOOD WITH 26 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:28,936 A HAMMER, USE THE BACK END TO SCRAPE THE CORN RIGHT OFF THE COBB 27 00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:32,306 CORN KERNELS FLYING EVERYWHERE THEN WE'D SWEEP THEM UP USING THE HAMMER 28 00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:40,247 [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: LATER -- LATER IN THE CONVERSATION, THIS HAPPENED. 29 00:02:41,415 --> 00:02:44,118 YOU SELL ANY YO-YOS HERE, BOSS NO. 30 00:02:44,118 --> 00:02:46,387 I COULD YO-YO WITH THE BEST OF THEM. LEARNED IT FROM A MAN NAMED 31 00:02:46,387 --> 00:02:50,024 YO-YO SAM. HE MADE UP THIS MOVE CALLED SPANK THE MAILBOX. 32 00:02:50,024 --> 00:02:52,426 [ LAUGHTER ] WE USED TO MEET UP AT THE MILKSHAKE SHOP AND GO DRAG 33 00:02:52,426 --> 00:02:55,830 RACING TRY TO USE HIS YO-YO TO WIN A RACE, WHIPPED IT OUT OF HIS 34 00:02:55,830 --> 00:03:00,101 WINDOW AND BOP ANOTHER DRIVER IN THE JAW THEY BOTH WENT CAREENING OFF 35 00:03:00,101 --> 00:03:05,539 DEADMAN'S CURVE, 40 STORY DROP BOTH SURVIVED, NOT A SCRATCH ON THEM 36 00:03:05,539 --> 00:03:15,516 LET'S JUST SAY HE DOESN'T SPANK THE MAILBOX NO MORE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 37 00:03:15,516 --> 00:03:17,852 Jimmy: I JUST FOUND IT ODD, BUT THEN HE LEFT THEM WITH THIS 38 00:03:20,087 --> 00:03:23,224 SOCK HOPS AT THE HARDWARE STORE BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. WE'D ALL TIRE OURSELVES OUT SO 39 00:03:23,224 --> 00:03:28,162 GOOD, WE'D HAVE TO USE HAMMERS AS CANES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 40 00:03:28,162 --> 00:03:31,399 END OF THE NIGHT, THE FLOOR WAS COVERED IN HAMMERS AND CORN KERNELS. 41 00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:34,835 GREAT MEMORIES [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: WHAT'S HE TALKING 42 00:03:34,835 --> 00:03:40,307 ABOUT? WHAT SOME BUSINESS NEWS HERE. 43 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,909 I SAW THAT SEVEN-ELEVEN IS ADDING SOMETHING NEW TO ITS MENU, AND JUDGING BY THE 44 00:03:41,909 --> 00:03:46,714 MENU, AND JUDGING BY THE REACTIONS, IT SHOULD BE A HUGE HIT. 45 00:03:47,982 --> 00:03:48,682 SEVEN-ELEVEN IS ADDING A NEW 46 00:03:48,682 --> 00:03:54,121 ITEM TO ITS HOT FOOD LINEUP, FISH BITES FISH BITES. 47 00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:57,391 I JUST THINK THAT'S A BAD IDEA I HAVE A VERY SENSITIVE 48 00:03:57,391 --> 00:04:00,695 STOMACH SO I JUST GET WORRIED. I'M LIKE, "OOH, I DON'T KNOW." I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO DO 49 00:04:00,695 --> 00:04:05,566 FAST FOOD FISH THIS ISN'T FAST FOOD FISH THIS IS SEVEN-ELEVEN 50 00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:13,774 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHEN THE FISH BITES WERE ADDED TO THE HOT FOOD 51 00:04:13,774 --> 00:04:16,143 CASE, A 50-YEAR-OLD TAQUITO WAS LIKE, "WELCOME TO HELL, BITCH! [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:17,945 [ APPLAUSE ] I KNOW THEY'VE BEEN BUSY, BUT HOW DOES THE CDC LET THIS SLIP 53 00:04:17,945 --> 00:04:30,891 THROUGH THE CRACKS YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING BUT THIS IS NICE, IF YOU ORDER 54 00:04:30,891 --> 00:04:32,326 THE FISH BITES, THEY JUST AUTOMATICALLY HAND YOU THE BATHROOM KEY 55 00:04:32,326 --> 00:04:38,866 [ LAUGHTER ] ACTUALLY, I'D RATHER EAT THE BATHROOM KEY 56 00:04:38,866 --> 00:04:42,303 [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, WELL, THIS IS COOL. I SAW THAT YESTERDAY TIMBALAND 57 00:04:42,303 --> 00:04:48,109 AND SWIZZ BEATZ SOLD THE STREAMING PLATFORM VERZUZ TO TRILLER. 58 00:04:48,109 --> 00:04:49,810 I FEEL LIKE THAT SENTENCE MIGHT BE A LITTLE CONFUSING IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS 59 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:54,281 ARE, SO HERE LET'S TEST THAT THEORY OUT IT'S TIME FOR "TELL 60 00:04:54,281 --> 00:04:56,684 THEORY OUT IT'S TIME FOR "TELL A GRANDPARENT. 61 00:04:57,852 --> 00:04:59,120 * TELL A GRANDPARENT * Jimmy: NOW, WE ARRANGED FOR 62 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,489 ONE OF OUR STAFF MEMBER'S GRANDPARENTS TO JOIN US ON ZOOM SO WE COULD TELL THEM THE NEWS 63 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:09,730 AND GET THEIR REACTION BOB AND MARGARET ARE YOU THERE HI, JIMMY 64 00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:13,067 Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR NEWS? 65 00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:17,571 SURE. Jimmy: ALRIGHT YESTERDAY, TIMBALAND AND SWIZZ BEATZ SOLD 66 00:05:17,571 --> 00:05:24,278 STREAMING PLATFORM VERZUZ TO TRILLER. I'M SORRY, COULD YOU REPEAT 67 00:05:24,278 --> 00:05:28,516 THAT Jimmy: SURE TIMBALAND AND SWIZZ BEATZ SOLD 68 00:05:28,516 --> 00:05:35,556 STREAMING PLATFORM VERZUZ TO TRILLER. YOU THINK THAT'S NEWS 69 00:05:35,556 --> 00:05:39,727 CALL US BACK WHEN JAY-Z SELLS TIDAL TO CLUBHOUSE [ LAUGHTER ] 70 00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:52,973 [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: WHAT I DIDN'T -- THAT DIDN'T GO HOW 71 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:58,112 I PLANNED. DID HE DAB AT THE END? OVER IN NEW JERSEY, I READ 72 00:05:58,112 --> 00:06:02,583 ABOUT AN AMTRAK WORKER WHO IS BEING ACCUSED OF SELLING SOME INTERESTING EQUIPMENT. 73 00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,150 BEING ACCUSED OF SELLING SOME INTERESTING EQUIPMENT. LISTEN TO THIS 74 00:06:05,252 --> 00:06:06,353 NEW JERSEY IS ACCUSED OF STEALING 77 CHAIN SAWS, 75 00:06:06,353 --> 00:06:15,796 103 CHAINSAW BARS AND 163 CHAINS FROM AMTRAK Jimmy: LUCKILY, HE'LL HAVE 76 00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:19,967 NO PROBLEM IN JAIL "WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?" "STEALING CHAINSAWS. 77 00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:27,942 [ LAUGHTER ] EVERY BIRTHDAY, HIS WIFE LOOKS AT HER GIFT BOX LIKE, "LET ME 78 00:06:27,942 --> 00:06:32,580 GUESS, ANOTHER CHAINSAW. [ LAUGHTER ] PUT IT IN THE CLOSET WITH THE 79 00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:36,751 OTHER ONES." AND, FINALLY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT A TIKTOK THAT 80 00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:40,321 SHOWS OFF ONE FAMILY'S DIY QUARANTINE PROJECT WATCH THIS 81 00:06:41,956 --> 00:06:46,360 DURING QUARANTINE, MY HUSBAND BUILT A VIDEO RENTAL STORE IN OUR BASEMENT. 82 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:54,135 INSTEAD OF REFINISHING OUR KITCHEN CABINETS, HE DECIDED TO BUILD A VIDEO RENTAL STORE 83 00:06:54,135 --> 00:06:56,270 Jimmy: MEANWHILE, THEIR FRIENDS ARE LIKE, "I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT GOFUNDME WASN'T 84 00:06:56,270 --> 00:07:00,207 TO HELP WITH THEIR MORTGAGE. [ APPLAUSE ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GIVE IT 85 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:01,742 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! 86 00:07:06,347 --> 00:07:11,619 * 87 00:07:11,619 --> 00:07:17,625 * Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. 88 00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,795 FROM "THE WALKING DEAD" ON AMC, NORMAN REEDUS IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 89 00:07:20,795 --> 00:07:25,599 PLUS THEIR NOW DOCUSERIES, "THE D'AMELIO SHOW," WILL DEBUT THIS SUMMER 90 00:07:25,599 --> 00:07:29,437 CHARLI AND DIXIE D'AMELIO ARE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 91 00:07:29,437 --> 00:07:33,574 AND JOINING US IN STUDIO -- THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR US. MAN, EVERYONE'S BEEN HIT HARD 92 00:07:33,574 --> 00:07:35,276 BY THIS QUARANTINE, BUT I ALWAYS THINK OF STAND-UP COMEDIANS AND COMEDY CLUBS AND 93 00:07:35,276 --> 00:07:43,751 JUST -- MAN OH MAN, IT'S JUST BEEN SUCH A TOUGH YEAR SO, WE APPRECIATE HE'S COMING 94 00:07:43,751 --> 00:07:49,790 IN, IN STUDIO, MIKE VECCHIONE IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 95 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,927 VERY, VERY FUNNY VERY, VERY FUNNY GENTLEMAN AND THEN A LITTLE LATER IN THE 96 00:07:52,927 --> 00:07:57,798 SHOW, WE HAVE THE -- GOT THE "TONIGHT SHOW FILM FESTIVAL" - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 97 00:07:57,798 --> 00:08:01,836 AND AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX. IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT SHOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 98 00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:06,841 RIGHT NOW IT IS TIME FOR "GOOD NAME, BAD NAME, GREAT NAME." HERE WE GO 99 00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:12,480 * GOOD NAME BAD NAM GREAT NAME YES * Jimmy: FIRST UP, WE HAVE 100 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,717 "COMING 2 AMERICA. THAT IS A GOOD NAME FOR A MOVIE. 101 00:08:16,717 --> 00:08:21,155 THAT IS A BAD NAME FOR A COVID STRAIN IT IS A GREAT NAME FOR 102 00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:26,594 PRINCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE [ APPLAUSE ] SEE HOW THE BIT WORKS NOW? 103 00:08:26,594 --> 00:08:30,297 NEXT, WE HAVE, "I GOT A STORY TO TELL. THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A 104 00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:36,303 A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT BIGGIE BAD NAME FOR A MIME CAMP [ LAUGHTER ] 105 00:08:36,303 --> 00:08:42,109 GREAT NAME FOR ANY JOE BIDEN SPEECH [ APPLAUSE ] 106 00:08:42,109 --> 00:08:46,147 AFTER THAT THERE'S "JOHNNY ROCKETS. THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A 107 00:08:46,147 --> 00:08:53,087 A RESTAURANT IT'S A BAD NAME FOR A BIDET. [ LAUGHTER ] 108 00:08:53,087 --> 00:08:57,558 GREAT NAME FOR AN UBER DRIVER. YEAH, GET ME THERE, BUDDY. [ APPLAUSE ] 109 00:08:57,558 --> 00:09:00,828 AFTER THAT, WE HAVE "YOGURT LAND." THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A FROZEN 110 00:09:00,828 --> 00:09:05,032 YOGURT SHOP. IT'S A BAD NAME FOR A THEME PARK 111 00:09:05,032 --> 00:09:08,469 IT'S A GREAT NAME FOR THE BOTTOM SHELF IN EVERY OFFICE FRIDGE 112 00:09:08,469 --> 00:09:11,238 OH, YEAH [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S WHERE EVERYONE'S YOGURT 113 00:09:11,238 --> 00:09:13,174 IS UP NEXT, WE HAVE "DRAG RACE. WELL, THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A 114 00:09:13,174 --> 00:09:18,746 A REALITY SHOW BAD NAME FOR A CIGARETTE SMOKING COMPETITION. 115 00:09:18,746 --> 00:09:22,483 GREAT NAME FOR A TUBING COMPETITION. OH, I SEE. 116 00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:24,652 [ APPLAUSE ] I GET IT AND FINALLY, WE HAVE "DAYS 117 00:09:24,652 --> 00:09:28,155 INN. THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A MOTEL CHAIN. 118 00:09:28,155 --> 00:09:32,727 BAD NAME FOR A HOSPITAL. GREAT NAME FOR HOW I SPENT THE PAST 12 MONTHS 119 00:09:32,727 --> 00:09:35,496 WELL, THERE YOU GO [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S ALL FOR "GOOD NAME, BAD 120 00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:39,433 NAME, GREAT NAME," EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUYS, IT IS TIME TO KICK OFF 121 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:46,073 NIGHT THREE OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW FILM FESTIVAL." HERE WE GO 122 00:09:48,075 --> 00:09:50,411 THE "TONIGHT SHOW FILM FESTIVAL." Jimmy: ALL WEEK LONG WE'VE 123 00:09:50,411 --> 00:09:54,415 TEAMED UP WITH SAMSUNG TO DEBUT SHORT FILMS MADE BY RISING CREATORS WITH A PASSION FOR 124 00:09:54,415 --> 00:09:57,585 FILMMAKING SO, TEN FINALISTS WERE CHOSEN FOR THE FESTIVAL AND EACH WERE 125 00:09:57,585 --> 00:10:04,458 GIVEN A SAMSUNG GALAXY S21 ULTRA 5G PHONE TO MAKE A A NEW FILM FOR US. 126 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:08,963 THIS IS AN AMAZING PHONE LOOK AT ALL OF THE LENSES ON THIS GUY 127 00:10:08,963 --> 00:10:11,699 THIS IS A -- THIS IS A POWERFUL MACHINE HERE IT HAS A THING IN HERE CALLED 128 00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:18,305 8K VIDEO SNAP. YOU READY FOR THIS, TARIQ? YOU'RE GONNA FREAK OUT, MAN. 129 00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:21,208 SO, I'M GONNA TAKE A VIDEO OF YOU. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT 130 00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:25,780 I'LL DELETE IT, RIGHT AFTER I POST IT ON MY SOCIALS. Tariq: COOL 131 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:28,115 Jimmy: SO, THERE'S THE VIDEO OF YOU SO, I HIT PLAY, THERE. 132 00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:31,585 RIGHT THERE, I LIKE THAT SHOT OF YOU YOU GO UP TO THIS BUTTON HERE, 133 00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:39,126 IT TAKES A PHOTO OF THE VIDEO. NEVER TAKE A PHOTO EVER AGAIN. IT'S A THING OF THE PAST 134 00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:42,129 VIDEOTAPE EVERY SINGLE THING IN YOUR LIFE. Tariq: SO YOU TOOK A SCREEN 135 00:10:42,129 --> 00:10:45,366 SHOT OF THAT VIDEO Jimmy: BUT IT'S NOT EVEN JUST A SCREEN SHOT 136 00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,902 THE QUALITY ON THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE IT'S LIKE YOU TOOK A PHOTO 137 00:10:47,902 --> 00:10:51,806 Tariq: NICE Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S CRAZY 138 00:10:51,806 --> 00:10:54,675 THIS THING IS A POWERFUL, POWERFUL DEVICE. Tariq: YEAH 139 00:10:54,675 --> 00:10:59,413 Jimmy: YOU CAN -- YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH THIS THING IT HAS 8K RESOLUTION VIDEO 140 00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:03,718 YOU CAN MAKE A MOVIE ON THIS THING, WHICH IS WHAT OUR FINALIST DID, ACTUALLY 141 00:11:03,718 --> 00:11:06,921 WE GAVE EACH OF OUR FILMMAKERS A THEME. THE THEME WAS, "A DIFFERENT 142 00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:10,091 FOCUS," AND WE ASKED THEM TO INTERPRET THAT IN THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAY 143 00:11:10,091 --> 00:11:14,662 TONIGHT'S FILM WAS CREATED BY MARGO AKOPOV SHE IS A COLLEGE STUDENT FROM 144 00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:18,265 BURBANK, CALIFORNIA. WHEN HER CAMPUS SHUT DOWN BECAUSE OF COVID-19, SHE WAS 145 00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:25,106 UPSET ABOUT MISSING HER SENIOR YEAR, UNDERSTANDABLY, AND HAVING TO MOVE BACK HOME 146 00:11:25,106 --> 00:11:26,941 BUT SHE DECIDED TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE, THAT SHE WAS SAFE, AND SHE WAS HEALTHY AND SHE WAS 147 00:11:26,941 --> 00:11:32,446 WITH HER LOVED ONES. SO WITH THIS FILM, SHE WANTS TO CHALLENGE EVERYONE TO THINK OF 148 00:11:32,446 --> 00:11:36,250 SOMETHING POSITIVE THAT'S COME FROM THE PAST YEAR HERE'S THE DEBUT OF "OVER THE 149 00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:49,430 HILLS AND FAR AWAY" FROM [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 150 00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:52,733 EVERYBODY. I WANT TO THANK MARGO AKOPOV FOR CREATING THAT FILM FOR US. 151 00:11:52,733 --> 00:11:59,140 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GREAT JOB. AND THANK YOU AGAIN TO SAMSUNG 152 00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:02,676 WE ARE CELEBRATING "THE TONIGHT SHOW FILM FESTIVAL" ALL WEEK LONG SO KEEP WATCHING FOR THAT 153 00:12:02,676 --> 00:12:06,447 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AS YOU GUYS KNOW, WE'RE ALWAYS 154 00:12:06,447 --> 00:12:09,784 STRIVING TO GET BETTER HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW. HARDER 155 00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:12,753 BETTER FASTER STRONGER 156 00:12:12,753 --> 00:12:16,490 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHICH IS WHY WE ASK VIEWERS AT HOME TO SEND IN ANY SUGGESTIONS 157 00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:20,961 THAT THEY HAVE JUST TO GET SOME FEEDBACK OF WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF THE SHOW. 158 00:12:20,961 --> 00:12:24,665 THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO SEE US DO THAT KIND OF STUFF WE SHOULD DO 159 00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:27,368 WE SHOULD DO SO TONIGHT LET'S LOOK INSIDE THE "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." 160 00:12:29,403 --> 00:12:30,337 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 161 00:12:30,337 --> 00:12:34,809 * LOOK INTO THE BOX SUGGESTION BOX * Jimmy: THIS FIRST ONE HERE 162 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:38,746 IS FROM RUBY KERNS "HEY, JIMMY, HAVE YOU SEEN THE APP ON TIKTOK CALLED AVATARIFY, 163 00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:46,120 WHERE YOU CAN ANIMATE A PHOTO OF ANYONE TO SING A SONG YOU SHOULD TRY IT ON THE SHOW. 164 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,422 YEAH, I ACTUALLY HAVE SEEN THAT IT'S REALLY FUN SO WE THOUGHT 165 00:12:48,422 --> 00:12:52,426 WE COULD TRY IT OUT ON SOME POLITICIANS. ENJOY. 166 00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:57,231 * YO LISTEN U HERE'S THE STORY ABOUT A LITTLE GUY THA 167 00:12:57,231 --> 00:13:03,304 LIVES IN A BLUE WORLD* * I'M BLU DA BA DEE DA BA DA 168 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:11,846 DA BA DEE DA BA DA DA BA DEE DA BA DAA * * DA BA DEE DA BA DAA 169 00:13:11,846 --> 00:13:14,081 DA BA DEE DA BA DAA * Jimmy: WOW, IT'S NICE TO SEE THEM ALL GETTING ALONG, ISN'T 170 00:13:14,081 --> 00:13:15,783 IT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LET'S GET ANOTHER SUGGESTION 171 00:13:15,783 --> 00:13:19,920 HERE THIS ONE IS FROM RHONDA BERKOWITZ 172 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,522 "TODAY IS MARIO DAY SO YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE THE MARIO FRANCHISE 173 00:13:21,522 --> 00:13:26,794 ON YOUR SHOW." IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU MENTIONED THAT BECAUSE WE JUST ORDERED 174 00:13:26,794 --> 00:13:36,404 ONE OF THOSE GREEN TUBES FROM NINTENDO LOOK AT THIS THING 175 00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:40,775 IT'S HEAVY I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS IF I STICK MY HAND IN HERE? 176 00:13:40,775 --> 00:13:44,745 [ MARIO SOUND THIS IS CNN TONIGHT I'M DON LEMON. 177 00:13:44,745 --> 00:13:47,348 WE HAVE SOME BREAKING NEWS AND A LOT TO GET TO -- [ MARIO SOUND 178 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:50,951 SO LET'S GET RIGHT - WHAT THE - WHAT THE - 179 00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:56,691 [ MARIO SOUND [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT 180 00:13:56,691 --> 00:14:00,061 HAPPENED LET'S TRY ANOTHER SUGGESTION HERE 181 00:14:00,061 --> 00:14:05,833 THIS NEXT SUGGESTION IF FROM TAYLOR BINX. "HEY, JIMMY, I HEARD A RUMOR 182 00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:09,637 THERE IS A POT OF GOLD HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN 30 ROCK SINCE ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS 183 00:14:09,637 --> 00:14:15,643 COMING UP, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU CAN CONFIRM OR DENY THIS RUMOR? 184 00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:27,888 WELL, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THIS BUT THERE ACTUALLY IS A - * 185 00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:33,461 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NEVER MIND 186 00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:38,165 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. [ LAUGHTER ] 187 00:14:38,165 --> 00:14:44,105 MOVING ON. THIS NEXT ONE IS LEE KALPAKIS. "HEY, JIMMY, HAVE YOU HEARD OF 188 00:14:44,105 --> 00:14:46,841 EAT-BOXING IT'S LIKE BEATBOXING BUT YOU MAKE ALL OF THE SOUNDS USING 189 00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:51,712 FOOD YOU SHOULD TRY IT. THAT'S A GREAT SUGGESTION, 190 00:14:51,712 --> 00:14:56,917 ACTUALLY I LOVE EAT-BOXING. EARLIER TODAY, IN FACT, ME AND 191 00:14:56,917 --> 00:15:00,688 THE ROOTS RECORDED A SOUND OF US EATING AND THEN PUT IT TO A A BEAT 192 00:15:00,688 --> 00:15:01,655 US EATING AND THEN PUT IT TO A A BEAT CHECK IT OUT 193 00:15:02,823 --> 00:15:05,493 * Tariq: GROSS. 194 00:15:05,493 --> 00:15:18,272 * A-CHOO! * 195 00:15:18,272 --> 00:15:25,946 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT WAS CATCHY. ALL RIGHT. 196 00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:27,915 LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE HERE THIS ONE IS FROM LATESHA SIMMONS. 197 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,650 "HEY, JIMMY, SOMETIMES I SEE A A PICTURE OF A REALLY COOL MOTORCYCLE COME ACROSS ON 198 00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:31,152 INSTAGRAM BUT I WONDER WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE. MAYBE YOU COULD DO A GUIDE TO 199 00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:42,129 MOTORCYCLE SOUNDS ON THE SHOW? WELL, I'M NO EXPERT ON THIS, BUT I KNOW WHO IS. 200 00:15:42,129 --> 00:15:44,198 OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS NORMAN REEDUS FROM "THE WALKING DEAD." 201 00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:48,569 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND HE'S ON OUR SHOW HE'S ON THE SHOW AND HE 202 00:15:48,569 --> 00:15:51,405 ACTUALLY USED TO WORK IN A A MOTORCYCLE SHOP. SO NOW HERE IS "NORMAN REEDUS' 203 00:15:51,405 --> 00:15:53,107 A MOTORCYCLE SHOP. SO NOW HERE IS "NORMAN REEDUS' GUIDE TO MOTORCYCLE SOUNDS." 204 00:15:54,175 --> 00:15:59,613 * HELLO, GUYS 205 00:15:59,613 --> 00:16:04,852 WELCOME TO "THE NORMAN REEDUS SOUNDS TO MOTORCYCLE SOUNDS. FIRST UP IS A CLASSIC. 206 00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:07,688 THE HARLEY DAVIDSON. THIS BIG BOY'S GONNA RUMBLE ON YOU. 207 00:16:07,688 --> 00:16:15,496 IT'S GONNA KIND OF BE LIKE - [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND NEXT WE HAVE THE 208 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:21,469 KAWASAKI NINJA IT'S GONNA SOUND SOMETHING LIKE THIS 209 00:16:21,469 --> 00:16:27,341 [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND YOU'LL PROBABLY HEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 210 00:16:27,341 --> 00:16:33,080 [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND WOO! YOU'RE GONNA GO -- 211 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,317 [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND "OH, [ BLEEP ] [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND 212 00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:39,954 AND THEN YOU'RE GETTING -- [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA GET 213 00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:44,492 A TICKET THIS IS VERY OLD SCHOOL. I IMAGINE IT'S GOING TO SOUND 214 00:16:44,492 --> 00:16:50,831 SOMETHING LIKE THIS. [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND YOU KNOW THESE JINGLY BITS 215 00:16:50,831 --> 00:17:00,107 [ IMITATES MOTORCYCLE SOUND [ HORN ] SEE YOU NEXT TIME. 216 00:17:00,107 --> 00:17:03,344 AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW * 217 00:17:03,344 --> 00:17:05,179 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: HOW GREAT IS THAT DUDE, MAN? 218 00:17:05,179 --> 00:17:11,419 I LOVE THAT, MAN I COULD WATCH THAT ALL DAY HEE-HEE. 219 00:17:11,419 --> 00:17:15,089 HERE IS ANOTHER SUGGESTION FROM JOSH CHERAPICA "I ALWAYS WONDERED IF 220 00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:19,093 BOOMERANGS ACTUALLY WORK I DON'T THINK THEY DO. CAN YOU TEST ONE OUT ON THE 221 00:17:19,093 --> 00:17:23,064 SHOW?" I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED THAT, TOO I KIND OF AGREE. 222 00:17:23,064 --> 00:17:34,375 I DO NOT THINK THAT THEY WORK. BUT HERE, LET ME GIVE IT A A SHOT 223 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:38,579 I GUESS IT DOESN'T WORK. THERE IS YOUR ANSWER OKAY 224 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:41,849 WE ARE DOWN TO OUR LAST SUGGESTION HERE. THIS ONE IS FROM NANCY MOORE 225 00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:43,617 "HEY, JIMMY, YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE HAVE A JET SKI RACE IN THE HUDSON RIVER 226 00:17:43,617 --> 00:17:51,359 WITH BILL GATES. THAT IS A GREAT IDEA WELL, WE ACTUALLY REACHED OUT 227 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,695 TO BILL GATES AND, GET THIS, HE SAID YES SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE IS 228 00:17:54,695 --> 00:18:04,271 BILL GATES AND I RACE -- [ LAUGHTER ] Tariq: THAT'S ALL THE TIME 229 00:18:04,271 --> 00:18:07,775 WE HAVE FOR "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." MY THANKS TO DON LEMON, 230 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:11,812 NORMAN REEDUS, AND BILL GATES. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE 231 00:18:11,812 --> 00:18:32,833 "TONIGHT SHOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 232 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,802 Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A VERY TALENTED ACTOR WHO YOU KNOW FROM THE HIT 233 00:18:34,802 --> 00:18:41,075 SHOW "THE WALKING DEAD," WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON AMC. 234 00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:45,846 AND YOU CAN SEE HIS SHOW "RIDE WITH NORMAN REEDUS" SUNDAYS AT MIDNIGHT - 235 00:18:45,846 --> 00:18:50,751 SUNDAYS AT MIDNIGHT ON AMC HERE HE IS, NORMAN REEDUS. HEY. 236 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,087 HI, JIMMY Jimmy: HEY, BUD GOOD TO SEE YOU 237 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,722 Jimmy: IT IS SO GREAT TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING 238 00:18:54,722 --> 00:18:58,426 BACK ON THE SHOW YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU HERE. AN EXTENDED VERSION OF SEASON 239 00:18:58,426 --> 00:19:02,697 TEN OF "WALKING DEAD" IS AIRING NOW. AND IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT 240 00:19:02,697 --> 00:19:08,369 SEASON 11, WHICH YOU'RE CURRENTLY FILMING, WILL BE LAST SEASON 241 00:19:08,369 --> 00:19:11,939 CRAZY Jimmy: ALSO, THIS SUNDAY'S EPISODE WILL BE THE 150th 242 00:19:11,939 --> 00:19:20,948 EPISODE OF THE SHOW? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE NUMBERS 243 00:19:20,948 --> 00:19:26,887 I THINK I TRY TO COUNT HOW MANY ADVIL I'VE TAKEN IN 150 EPISODES, YOU KNOW 244 00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:30,291 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S NUTS. YOU KNOW, WE WERE FILMING -- I 245 00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:34,128 MEAN, WE'RE FILMING RIGHT NOW, BUT, YOU KNOW, WE DID THESE SIX SORT OF MINI EPISODES, INTIMATE 246 00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:41,836 EPISODES, BECAUSE OF COVID AND JUST TO FIGURE OUT A WORK PROGRAM. 247 00:19:41,836 --> 00:19:44,638 AND NOW WE'RE DOING THESE BIG GIANT ONES AGAIN BUT, I'M SITTING ON THIS 248 00:19:44,638 --> 00:19:50,611 MAN-MADE STRUCTURE, AND THERE'S A BIG HOLE IN IT, AND IT'S DRIZZLING RAIN 249 00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:52,480 IT'S LIKE 3:00 IN THE MORNING, AND I'M LOOKING OUT OVER THIS FIELD, AND I'M LIKE, "WOW, THIS 250 00:19:52,480 --> 00:20:00,755 IS WHERE THE PRISON WAS. Jimmy: WOW. YOU KNOW? 251 00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:02,757 I BLEW UP A TANK OVER THERE, AND HERSHEL'S HEAD GOT CHOPPED OFF RIGHT DOWN THERE, AND I'M 252 00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:04,492 STARTING TO GET A LITTLE MISTY-EYED THINKING ABOUT IT, AND I'M LOOKING AT WHERE THIS 253 00:20:04,492 --> 00:20:06,227 PRISON USED TO BE WITH THESE GIANT GUARD TOWERS, AND I'M REMEMBERING A TIME WHEN STEVEN 254 00:20:06,227 --> 00:20:23,778 AND ANDY AND I WERE FORCED TO RUN AROUND THIS PRISON OVER AND OVER IN THE GEORGIA HEAT 255 00:20:23,778 --> 00:20:29,250 AND WE GET TO ONE SPOT, AND WE SIT DOWN, AND THEY'RE LIKE, "COME ON, LET'S DO IT AGAIN. 256 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:32,186 AND WE START TAKING OFF OUR SHOES AND WE'RE JUST -- YOU KNOW, WE'RE BOTH KIND OF, LIKE, 257 00:20:32,186 --> 00:20:36,457 GIVING THE FINGER. WE'RE LIKE, "WE'RE NOT GETTING UP, LIKE GIVE US TEN MINUTES." 258 00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:38,759 WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DROP DEAD. Jimmy: YOU GAVE US THAT 259 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:44,331 PHOTO. YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] 260 00:20:44,331 --> 00:20:50,771 Jimmy: NOT COUNTING JUST THOSE MEMORIES WHAT A CULTURAL IMPACT YOU'VE 261 00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:53,174 HAD -- THE SHOW HAS HAD. YEAH. YOU KNOW, I THINK ABOUT, LIKE, 262 00:20:53,174 --> 00:20:55,309 YOU KNOW, I HAVE, LIKE, STORE ROOMS FULL OF BOBBLE HEADS, AND BOWLING PINS AND ALL SORTS OF 263 00:20:55,309 --> 00:21:03,150 WEIRD DARYL DIXON STUFF. YOU KNOW, MY CROSSBOW IS IN THE SMITHSONIAN WITH MY WINGED 264 00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:08,723 VEST, RIGHT NEXT TO ROCKY BALBOA'S ITALIAN STALLION ROBE AND GLOVES. 265 00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:11,892 Jimmy: WOW. NUTS. YEAH 266 00:21:11,892 --> 00:21:13,694 IN CONEY ISLAND, THERE'S A A SHARK WITH A BUNCH OF SCARS ON ITS FACE NAMED DARYL DIXON, 267 00:21:13,694 --> 00:21:21,635 WHICH IS KIND OF WILD. YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN ALL OF THE COMMERCIALS. 268 00:21:21,635 --> 00:21:25,106 I'VE SEEN, YOU KNOW, ZOMBIES IN JOGGING SHOES DRINKING SPORTS DRINKS, DRIVING TOYOTA'S, LIKE, 269 00:21:25,106 --> 00:21:30,378 I'VE SEEN IT ALL YOU KNOW IT'S PRETTY WILD 270 00:21:30,378 --> 00:21:32,446 Jimmy: YOU -- I ALWAYS BRING THIS UP, BUT I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU 271 00:21:32,446 --> 00:21:36,617 YOU ACTUALLY BECAME AN AIR FRESHENER. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT 272 00:21:36,617 --> 00:21:43,691 DUDE, I WILL ALWAYS KEEP THIS, AND SO IF YOU EVER WANT THIS, I -- IT'S IN MY DRESSING ROOM. 273 00:21:43,691 --> 00:21:47,828 I HAVE IT FROM YEARS AGO WHEN YOU GAVE IT TO ME. BUT THAT'S MAKING IT, MAN, WHEN 274 00:21:47,828 --> 00:21:50,364 YOU BECOME YOUR OWN AIR FRESHENER. IT SMELLS OF LONELINESS AND 275 00:21:50,364 --> 00:21:55,136 DESPAIR? Jimmy: NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO 276 00:21:55,136 --> 00:21:57,905 THE STORY'S NOT ENDING FOR YOU YOU'RE ACTUALLY -- YOUR CHARACTER IS GETTING ITS OWN 277 00:21:57,905 --> 00:21:59,774 SPIN-OFF YOU'RE GETTING YOUR OWN SPIN-OFF 278 00:21:59,774 --> 00:22:07,314 YEAH. MELISSA AND I ARE DOING SOMETHING TOGETHER 279 00:22:07,314 --> 00:22:09,150 YOU KNOW, IT'S GOING TO LOOK DIFFERENT. IT'S GOING TO BE A DIFFERENT 280 00:22:09,150 --> 00:22:13,521 FLAVOR, TOTALLY. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING TO BE YET. 281 00:22:13,521 --> 00:22:16,090 AND WE'RE KIND OF WAITING. Jimmy: IN THE FUTURE OR WE DON'T KNOW 282 00:22:16,090 --> 00:22:19,093 WHO KNOWS I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHO KNOWS. Jimmy: YEAH 283 00:22:19,093 --> 00:22:22,830 I HAVE NO IDEA. YOU KNOW Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. 284 00:22:22,830 --> 00:22:27,401 AT LEAST IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU LIVE IT COULD BE "WEEKEND AT 285 00:22:27,401 --> 00:22:31,472 BERNIE'S," SHE COULD DRAG MY ZOMBIE BODY ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 286 00:22:31,472 --> 00:22:34,942 Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE, ACTUALLY THAT IS TRUE 287 00:22:34,942 --> 00:22:39,447 YOU NEVER KNOW THERE ARE A FEW MORE EPISODES LEFT IN SEASON TEN, AND SEASON 288 00:22:39,447 --> 00:22:45,219 11 COMES BACK THIS SUMMER. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT HOW THESE EPISODES WILL SET UP THE 289 00:22:45,219 --> 00:22:50,124 FINAL SEASON YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW, WE DID THIS -- WE DID 290 00:22:50,124 --> 00:22:54,195 THE INTIMATE ONES. Jimmy: I LIKE THEM. YEAH. 291 00:22:54,195 --> 00:22:59,233 I LIKED THEM TOO I LIKED HEARING, YOU KNOW, SORT OF EVERYBODY DEALING WITH THE 292 00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:06,207 AFTERMATH OF THOSE TWO GIANT WARS BACK-TO-BACK. THIS IS MORE ROOTED IN -- I 293 00:23:06,207 --> 00:23:08,642 WANT TO SAY REALITY? YOU KNOW IT'S OUR BAD GUYS, YOU KNOW, 294 00:23:08,642 --> 00:23:13,748 THERE'S ALWAYS A BAD GUY, BUT OUR THREAT ARE MORE BASED IN REALITY, WHICH IS VERY APROPOS 295 00:23:13,748 --> 00:23:23,391 FOR THE TIMES RIGHT NOW IF IT MAKES ANY SENSE. I DON'T WANT TO SAY TOO MUCH 296 00:23:23,391 --> 00:23:27,428 Jimmy: YEP. YOU KNOW? THE THREAT IS VERY REAL, AND 297 00:23:27,428 --> 00:23:31,098 IT'S VERY DIFFERENT. Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. 298 00:23:31,098 --> 00:23:33,334 YEAH. Jimmy: HERE IS NORMAN REEDUS IN A NEW EPISODE OF "THE 299 00:23:33,334 --> 00:23:35,269 IN A NEW EPISODE OF "THE WALKING DEAD." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 300 00:24:06,267 --> 00:24:07,768 "THE WALKING DEAD" AIRS SUNDAYS 301 00:24:07,768 --> 00:24:12,073 AT 9:00 P.M. ON AMC. AND YOU CAN WATCH EPISODES EARLY, ON THURSDAY, ON AMC 302 00:24:12,073 --> 00:24:16,277 PLUS WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHARLI AND DIXIE D'AMELIO. 303 00:24:16,277 --> 00:24:36,197 STICK AROUND * Jimmy: MY NEXT GUESTS HAVE 304 00:24:36,197 --> 00:24:41,569 NEARLY 160 MILLION TIKTOK FOLLOWERS BETWEEN THEM THEY HOST A WEEKLY PODCAST 305 00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:47,174 CALLED "CHARLI AND DIXIE: 2 CHIX." AND THIS SUMMER THEIR FAMILY 306 00:24:47,174 --> 00:24:50,111 WILL BE THE SUBJECT OF A NEW DOCU-SERIES CALLED "THE D'AMELIO SHOW. 307 00:24:50,111 --> 00:24:53,848 HERE ARE CHARLI AND DIXIE D'AMELIO AH, LOOK 308 00:24:53,848 --> 00:24:57,284 COME ON. LOOK AT THE SISTERS. I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE 309 00:24:57,284 --> 00:25:01,756 A LOT OF TIMES WE'LL ASK GUESTS WHAT THEY'VE BEEN UP TO IN QUARANTINE 310 00:25:01,756 --> 00:25:07,862 DIXIE, IN YOUR CASE, YOU LAUNCHED A MUSIC CAREER. YES 311 00:25:07,862 --> 00:25:13,267 Jimmy: GIANT, BY THE WAY. YOU RELEASED YOUR SONG "BE HAPPY" IN JUNE 312 00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:20,241 IT HAS OVER 100 MILLION YOUTUBE VIEWS, 70 MILLION STREAMS ON SPOTIFY. 313 00:25:20,241 --> 00:25:28,215 WOW, DID YOU REALIZE IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT MUCH OF A HIT I MEAN, I HONESTLY HAD NO 314 00:25:28,215 --> 00:25:31,919 IDEA THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN AT ALL. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT BUT 315 00:25:31,919 --> 00:25:37,725 NEVER REALLY THOUGHT IT COULD HAPPEN AND THEN IT DID PRETTY WELL 316 00:25:37,725 --> 00:25:41,529 Jimmy: PRETTY WELL? OH, MY PRETTY WELL? 317 00:25:41,529 --> 00:25:44,598 ARE YOU KIDDING ME ANY PLANS FOR MORE MUSIC IS THERE AN ALBUM IN THE WORKS, 318 00:25:44,598 --> 00:25:49,236 ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN TELL US? DEFINITELY AN ALBUM AT SOME POINT BUT MY NEXT SONG IS 319 00:25:49,236 --> 00:25:54,141 COMING OUT APRIL 9th, WHICH I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT Jimmy: LOVE IT. 320 00:25:54,141 --> 00:25:58,946 NEW JAM FROM DIXIE, ALL RIGHT, GOOD WHAT DID YOU THINK, BECAUSE YOU 321 00:25:58,946 --> 00:26:02,717 DIDN'T JOIN TIKTOK RIGHT AWAY. CHARLI JOINED FIRST. WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU SAW 322 00:26:02,717 --> 00:26:06,053 HER MAKING TIKTOKS WERE YOU LIKE, "COOL, I WANT TO DO THAT? 323 00:26:06,053 --> 00:26:10,825 DID YOU THINK THAT WAS COOL? YOU CAN BE HONEST SHE STARTED AT A TIME WHERE 324 00:26:10,825 --> 00:26:12,793 TIKTOK WAS SO REALLY EMBARRASSING AND I WAS REALLY EMBARRASSED THAT SHE WAS 325 00:26:12,793 --> 00:26:23,804 POSTING AND MY FRIENDS AT SCHOOL WERE VERY INTO WHAT SHE WAS DOING. 326 00:26:23,804 --> 00:26:26,874 AND I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOSH, SHE IS SO WEIRD, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH 327 00:26:26,874 --> 00:26:30,077 SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS LIKE, I JUST HIT A A HUNDRED K. 328 00:26:30,077 --> 00:26:33,681 AND I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOODNESS THIS IS SO INSANE. 329 00:26:33,681 --> 00:26:38,119 SHE WAS LIKE, TALK TO ME WHEN YOU HIT A MILLION AND THAT IS WHEN SHE JOINED! 330 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,390 Jimmy: YEAH AND THEN A LITTLE COMPETITION. CHARLI, I NOTICE THAT YOU 331 00:26:42,390 --> 00:26:47,094 STARTED CHANGING UP YOUR CONTENT A LITTLE BIT RECENTLY. YOU'RE POSTING REVIEWS OF 332 00:26:47,094 --> 00:26:52,666 THINGS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE I JUST SAW KINETIC SAND, I THINK I SAW? 333 00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:56,103 YEAH. Jimmy: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR FOLLOWERS ARE GOING TO BE 334 00:26:56,103 --> 00:26:59,673 INTO IF I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, IT WAS WHAT I WAS 335 00:26:59,673 --> 00:27:06,347 DOING ON A DAY-TO- DAY BASIS I WAS DOING REVIEWS TO MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND I WAS LIKE 336 00:27:06,347 --> 00:27:11,786 WHY NOT FILM THIS? THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. MAYBE PEOPLE WILL ENJOY IT 337 00:27:11,786 --> 00:27:14,655 I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE LIKE CHANGES VERY OFTEN AND I WAS LIKE, WHY DON'T I SHARE THIS WITH 338 00:27:14,655 --> 00:27:17,925 EVERYONE AND SEE WHAT THEY THINK? AND I DID AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY 339 00:27:17,925 --> 00:27:21,429 REALLY LIKED IT. Jimmy: DO YOU THINK THAT IS THE KEY TO BEING SUCCESSFUL ON 340 00:27:21,429 --> 00:27:27,201 SOCIAL MEDIA, JUST BEING HONEST I THINK SO. 341 00:27:27,201 --> 00:27:30,838 I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO BE AS AUTHENTIC AS YOU CAN BE, BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN TELL WHEN 342 00:27:30,838 --> 00:27:34,875 YOU'RE NOT BEING AUTHENTIC AND THEY DON'T RESONATE WITH THAT AS MUCH. 343 00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:38,479 Jimmy: BEFORE YOU STARTED DOING THIS, CHARLI, YOU WERE A A COMPETITIVE DANCER 344 00:27:38,479 --> 00:27:45,252 WOULD YOU EVER GO BACK TO THAT I ACTUALLY JUST STARTED GETTING BACK INTO TRAINING 345 00:27:45,252 --> 00:27:53,127 WE GOT A DANCE STUDIO IN MY HOUSE, WHICH IS SO AMAZING REALLY NEVER THOUGHT THAT THAT 346 00:27:53,127 --> 00:27:56,731 WOULD HAPPEN AND I'VE BEEN WORKING VERY CLOSELY WITH BLAKE McGRATH WHO 347 00:27:56,731 --> 00:27:58,432 HAS KIND OF BROUGHT ME FROM LIKE BEING OUT OF DANCE AND FEELING SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT 348 00:27:58,432 --> 00:28:05,473 MYSELF BECAUSE I FELT LIKE EVERY TIME I DANCED I HAD TO PROVE 349 00:28:05,473 --> 00:28:07,375 SOMETHING TO EVERYONE AND THAT IS NOT WHAT DANCE IS ABOUT AND HE REALLY HELPED ME FIND MYSELF 350 00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:14,648 AGAIN. AND WE ARE GOING TO BE WORKING ON A SOLO FOR THIS YEAR SO 351 00:28:14,648 --> 00:28:19,053 HOPEFULLY I CAN GET BACK INTO THE COMPETITION SCENE BECAUSE I REALLY MISS IT 352 00:28:19,053 --> 00:28:23,290 Jimmy: YOU'RE ON "TIME MAGAZINE'S TIME 100 NEXT" LIST AND THE PERSON THAT WRITES 353 00:28:23,290 --> 00:28:32,466 ABOUT YOU IS JENNIFER LOPEZ. WHAT YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY 354 00:28:32,466 --> 00:28:37,171 YOU HAVE TO BE EXCITED THAT IS LEGENDARY! THAT IS LEGENDARY! 355 00:28:37,171 --> 00:28:40,207 THAT WAS INSANE I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS WRITING ABOUT ME UNTIL I WOKE UP AND I 356 00:28:40,207 --> 00:28:44,512 SAW EVERYONE WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOODNESS, J.LO WROTE THIS ABOUT YOU. 357 00:28:44,512 --> 00:28:49,083 AND I WAS LIKE, WAIT, HOLD ON. THIS IS NOT REAL THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN 358 00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:53,688 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. THAT WAS INSANE TO ME WHEN I SAW THAT 359 00:28:53,688 --> 00:28:59,794 WHAT SHE SAID REALLY MADE ME FEEL SO GREAT AND SO CONFIDENT IN MYSELF. 360 00:28:59,794 --> 00:29:04,131 BECAUSE SHE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I MATTER TO HER AND HAVING YOUR IDOL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU LIKE THAT 361 00:29:04,131 --> 00:29:09,537 IS SOMETHING SO AMAZING AND SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. 362 00:29:09,537 --> 00:29:13,474 Jimmy: HAVE YOUR OWN DOCU-SERIES COMING TO HULU THIS SUMMER TO CALLED "THE D'AMELIO 363 00:29:13,474 --> 00:29:17,611 SHOW." I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT BUT ARE YOU -- IS IT 364 00:29:17,611 --> 00:29:23,951 EVERYTHING I MEAN, YOU ARE GUYS GOING TO GET IN FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS? 365 00:29:23,951 --> 00:29:28,356 WE HAVEN'T YET. WE SAID BEFORE THE FILMING STARTED, WHO IS GOING TO BE THE 366 00:29:28,356 --> 00:29:35,062 FIRST ONE TO FLIP A TABLE? THAT HAS NOT HAPPENED YET. Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO! 367 00:29:35,062 --> 00:29:38,065 THE TABLES IN OUR HOUSE ARE HEAVY. THEY ARE HARD TO FLIP. 368 00:29:38,065 --> 00:29:42,436 Jimmy: YOU GOT TO BE -- GO GET LIKE A REALLY -- LIKE A PLASTIC TABLE OR SOMETHING 369 00:29:42,436 --> 00:29:47,575 OUTSIDE AND PRACTICE THAT. YOU HAVE TO FLIP A TABLE A VERY DRAMATIC SCENE 370 00:29:47,575 --> 00:29:50,411 LUCKILY, WE HAVE NOT HAD ANY OF THOSE WE DON'T REALLY ARGUE THAT MUCH 371 00:29:50,411 --> 00:29:55,649 ANY MORE NOT WITH WORDS. WITH OUR EYES MORE 372 00:29:55,649 --> 00:30:01,022 YES WE ARE LITERALLY LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ] 373 00:30:01,022 --> 00:30:04,959 Jimmy: CHARLI AND DIXIE ARE PLAYING "KNOW YOUR SIS" AFTER THE BREAK. 374 00:30:04,959 --> 00:30:24,812 COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. *. Jimmy: WELCOME BACK 375 00:30:24,812 --> 00:30:27,214 WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH DIXIE AND CHARLI D'AMELIO. NOW, YOU BOTH ARE SISTERS AND 376 00:30:27,214 --> 00:30:32,686 YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY CLOSE, BUT I WANTED TO SEE JUST HOW CLOSE YOU ARE IN A GAME WE LIKE TO 377 00:30:32,686 --> 00:30:37,391 CALL, "KNOW YOUR SIS." NOW, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS ONE OF YOU WILL WEAR NOISE 378 00:30:37,391 --> 00:30:40,895 CANCELING HEADPHONES WHILE THE OTHER ANSWERS A QUESTION ABOUT YOU. 379 00:30:40,895 --> 00:30:44,165 AND THEN YOU'LL TAKE THE HEADPHONES OFF AND WE'LL SEE IF YOUR ANSWER MATCHES. 380 00:30:44,165 --> 00:30:47,768 MAKES SENSE? YES YES 381 00:30:47,768 --> 00:30:51,505 Jimmy: CHARLI, THE FIRST QUESTION IS ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE PUT ON YOUR HEADPHONES 382 00:30:51,505 --> 00:30:54,809 CHARLI -- AND PLAY SOME MUSIC LOUD GIVE A THUMBS UP WHEN YOU'RE 383 00:30:54,809 --> 00:31:00,681 READY AND YOU CAN'T HEAR US. ALRIGHT, DIXIE, HERE'S THE QUESTION 384 00:31:00,681 --> 00:31:03,184 ARE YOU READY? MM-HMM. Jimmy: WHAT IS THE MOST 385 00:31:03,184 --> 00:31:10,858 NORMAL TEENAGER THING THAT CHARLI DOES? UM, HER ROOM BASICALLY LOOKS 386 00:31:10,858 --> 00:31:19,100 LIKE A TOY STORE WITH STUFFED ANIMALS, KINETIC SAND, ORBEEZ. LIKE, SHE HAS A FIVE-YEAR-OLD'S 387 00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:25,606 ROOM Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY WOW. 388 00:31:25,606 --> 00:31:29,210 OKAY HERE WE GO ALRIGHT GOOD 389 00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:33,581 THE QUESTION WAS, "WHAT'S THE MOST NORMAL TEENAGER THING THAT CHARLI DOES? 390 00:31:33,581 --> 00:31:36,984 UM, PROBABLY THE FACT THAT I HAVE A LOT OF TOYS, WHICH IS PROBABLY THE MOST -- 391 00:31:36,984 --> 00:31:43,858 [ BELL RINGS ] Jimmy: THAT MATCHES WE HAVE ONE POINT THERE. 392 00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:48,362 YOU JUST -- THAT'S JUST NORMAL YOU JUST LOVE TOYS SHE TELLS ME ALL THE TIME 393 00:31:48,362 --> 00:31:51,132 SHE'S LIKE, "YOU'RE VERY NORMAL, LIKE IT'S --" Jimmy: YEAH 394 00:31:51,132 --> 00:31:52,900 ALRIGHT DIXIE, IT'S YOUR TURN TO PUT ON THE HEADPHONES AND GIVE US A THUMBS UP WHEN YOU 395 00:31:52,900 --> 00:32:02,510 CAN'T HEAR US. OKAY HERE WE GO 396 00:32:02,510 --> 00:32:06,080 CHARLI, HERE'S THE QUESTION. OKAY. Jimmy: WHAT IS DIXIE MOST 397 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:13,187 LIKELY TO DO ON A DAY OFF? TAKE A NAP FOR THE ENTIRE DAY. 398 00:32:13,187 --> 00:32:16,090 Jimmy: REALLY YEAH. Jimmy: LIKE HOW LONG? 399 00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:20,294 AN HOUR? A COUPLE OF HOURS? THE WHOLE DAY 400 00:32:20,294 --> 00:32:24,098 Jimmy: THE WHOLE DAY. LIKE FIVE, EIGHT HOURS. Jimmy: REALLY 401 00:32:24,098 --> 00:32:27,401 YEAH. Jimmy: WOWZERS! ALRIGHT, THAT'S INTERESTING. 402 00:32:27,401 --> 00:32:35,009 ALL RIGHT. LET ME ASK DIXIE OKAY 403 00:32:35,009 --> 00:32:42,650 DIXIE, HERE'S THE QUESTION "WHAT DOES DIXIE MOST LIKELY DO ON A DAY OFF?" 404 00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:45,720 PROBABLY SLEEP ALL DAY AND WATCH LIKE NETFLIX OR SOMETHING. 405 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:50,958 Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH! YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER WELL! THIS IS EXACTLY RIGHT. 406 00:32:50,958 --> 00:32:52,793 FOR THE FINAL ROUND, DIXIE, PLEASE PUT ON THE HEADPHONES, GIVE US A THUMBS UP WHEN YOU 407 00:32:52,793 --> 00:32:59,266 CAN'T HEAR US. CHARLI, HERE IS THE QUESTION YOU READY? 408 00:32:59,266 --> 00:33:05,272 "WHEN IS A TIME THAT DIXIE BROKE THE RULES THAT YOUR PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW ABOUT 409 00:33:05,272 --> 00:33:12,480 COME ON! I'M GONNA GET HER - SHE STOLE MY MOM'S CAR ONCE. 410 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:16,550 I DON'T WANT TO GET HER IN TROUBLE! SORRY, MOM 411 00:33:16,550 --> 00:33:19,153 Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHERE DID SHE GO 412 00:33:19,153 --> 00:33:22,757 I DON'T KNOW. SHE PROBABLY WENT TO LIKE A FRIEND'S HOUSE OR SOMETHING. 413 00:33:22,757 --> 00:33:26,694 I THINK SHE JUST WANTED TO BE LIKE REBELLIOUS ONCE AND THAT WAS IT 414 00:33:26,694 --> 00:33:30,965 SHE STOPPED THERE. Jimmy: WAS IT LATE AT NIGHT I HAVE NO IDEA. 415 00:33:30,965 --> 00:33:35,136 I JUST REMEMBER HER TELLING ME, "OH, YEAH, I STOLE THE CAR." I WAS LIKE, "OKAY! 416 00:33:35,136 --> 00:33:39,940 Jimmy: DOES MOM KNOW ABOUT THIS I DON'T THINK SO. 417 00:33:39,940 --> 00:33:46,147 I HOPE SHE DOES, THOUGH, SO I'M NOT THE PERSON TO TELL HER Jimmy: OKAY, VERY GOOD. 418 00:33:46,147 --> 00:33:49,450 LET'S HAVE DIXIE TAKE OFF THE HEADPHONES OKAY -- 419 00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:54,121 SCREAMING OH, AM I LOUD Jimmy: DIXIE, THE QUESTION 420 00:33:54,121 --> 00:33:55,790 WAS "WHEN WAS A TIME THAT YOU BROKE THE RULES THAT YOUR PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW 421 00:33:55,790 --> 00:34:02,396 ABOUT? WATCH HER EXPOSE HERSELF FOR SOMETHING ELSE 422 00:34:02,396 --> 00:34:13,207 Jimmy: IT MIGHT HAPPEN. THAT MY PARENTS STILL DON'T KNOW ABOUT 423 00:34:13,207 --> 00:34:16,277 Jimmy: DID YOU SNEAK OUT? OKAY, THEY KNOW THIS. I LITERALLY JUST TOLD THEM THIS 424 00:34:16,277 --> 00:34:20,881 A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, BUT I DID STEAL MY MOM'S CAR IN HIGH SCHOOL TO DRIVE TO MY FRIEND'S 425 00:34:20,881 --> 00:34:24,585 [ BELL RINGING ] Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT! OH, YOU'RE SO LUCKY! 426 00:34:24,585 --> 00:34:27,421 YOU'RE SO LUCKY! I WANTED TO HEAR THE OTHER STORY CAUSE YOU'RE LIKE, "WHICH 427 00:34:27,421 --> 00:34:32,927 ONE! YOU LUCKED OUT I WANTED HER TO SAY 428 00:34:32,927 --> 00:34:34,795 SOMETHING ELSE IT'S LIKE WE JUST REVEALED TWO THINGS THAT OUR PARENTS DID NOT 429 00:34:34,795 --> 00:34:37,965 KNOW Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR. 430 00:34:37,965 --> 00:34:40,868 I GO, OH MY GOD. WELL, YOU GOT A GOOD SISTER RIGHT THERE. 431 00:34:40,868 --> 00:34:44,705 YOU GUYS ARE GOOD. YEAH, YOU'RE GREAT SISTERS CONGRATS ON THAT 432 00:34:44,705 --> 00:34:50,177 THAT IS, "KNOW YOUR SIS. "THE D'AMELIO SHOW" IS COMING TO HULU THIS SUMMER. 433 00:34:50,177 --> 00:34:53,013 THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE GUYS WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 434 00:34:53,013 --> 00:34:55,116 "TONIGHT SHOW" RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND 435 00:34:55,116 --> 00:35:11,832 COME ON BACK Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE HOST OF "MIKE VECCHIONE 436 00:35:11,832 --> 00:35:16,570 INVESTIGATES," AVAILABLE AT APPLE PODCAST. PLEASE WELCOME, ONE OF OUR 437 00:35:16,570 --> 00:35:21,509 FAVORITES, BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW" STAGE, THE VERY FUNNY, MIKE VECCHIONE 438 00:35:21,509 --> 00:35:32,887 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU SO MUCH, 439 00:35:32,887 --> 00:35:35,623 EVERYBODY. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO THANK 440 00:35:35,623 --> 00:35:38,893 MR. JIMMY FALLON FOR BRINGING LIVE STAND-UP COMEDY BACK TO TELEVISION 441 00:35:38,893 --> 00:35:45,433 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AMAZING. AND SHOUT-OUT TO NEW YORK CITY 442 00:35:45,433 --> 00:35:50,137 WE'RE COMING BACK, BABY. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT. 443 00:35:50,137 --> 00:35:53,741 THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'M GOING TO MISS ABOUT THE PANDEMIC, THOUGH 444 00:35:53,741 --> 00:35:55,342 FOR EXAMPLE, WALKING INTO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING MY TEMPERATURE TAKEN LIKE I'M 445 00:35:55,342 --> 00:36:01,515 BEING EXECUTED [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I ENJOY IT 446 00:36:01,515 --> 00:36:06,554 "THIS IS TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE!" [ LAUGHTER ] 447 00:36:06,554 --> 00:36:08,255 I LIKE IT WHEN THE HOSTESS TAKES A BREAK AND I GO UP AND TAKE THE THERMOMETER, AND I 448 00:36:08,255 --> 00:36:15,696 JUST START USING IT ON PEOPLE FOR COMEDY REASONS A COUPLE WALKS IN. 449 00:36:15,696 --> 00:36:20,301 YOU KNOW, I POINT IT TO THE WOMAN, AND I GO, "YOU'RE PREGNANT, YOU'RE PREGNANT. 450 00:36:20,301 --> 00:36:30,478 THEN I POINT IT TO THE GUY AND GO, "YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER!" I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE GYM 451 00:36:30,478 --> 00:36:33,748 AND THERE'S A LOT OF PAPER WORK AT THE GYM NOW I GO THERE 452 00:36:33,748 --> 00:36:36,684 THE GUY GIVES ME, LIKE, TEN FORMS. I GO, "YEAH, I'M NOT TRYING TO 453 00:36:36,684 --> 00:36:41,555 PURCHASE THE GYM [ LAUGHTER ] I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A 454 00:36:41,555 --> 00:36:43,257 A WORKOUT. HE GOES, "WE'RE TRYING TO DETERMINE WHETHER YOU'RE 455 00:36:43,257 --> 00:36:48,429 HEALTHY ENOUGH TO BE AT THE GYM. I'M LIKE, "HEY, BUDDY! 456 00:36:48,429 --> 00:36:55,269 LET ME SAVE YOU SOME TROUBLE I'M NOT HEALTHY ENOUGH TO BE AT THE GYM. 457 00:36:55,269 --> 00:36:58,873 IF I WAS HEALTHY ENOUGH TO BE AT THE GYM, I WOULDN'T BE AT THE GYM, OKAY? 458 00:36:58,873 --> 00:37:04,145 I'D BE AT HOME EATING DOUGHNUTS. I TRY TO KEEP UP WITH MY MENTAL 459 00:37:04,145 --> 00:37:07,048 HEALTH I'M DOING AFFIRMATIONS AND THE AFFIRMATIONI DO IS 460 00:37:07,048 --> 00:37:13,287 MILLIONAIRE MINDSET. EVERY MORNING I SIT ON THE COUCH, I CLOSE MY EYES, AND I 461 00:37:13,287 --> 00:37:18,059 REPEAT THE PHRASE, "I AM A VERY POWERFUL MILLIONAIRE I AM A VERY POWERFUL 462 00:37:18,059 --> 00:37:23,898 MILLIONAIRE. HEY, GUYS, I'M A VERY POWERFUL MILLIONAIRE. 463 00:37:23,898 --> 00:37:28,703 GIRLFRIEND WALKS OUT, SHAKES ME, INTERRUPTS MY MINDSET, YOU KNOW 464 00:37:28,703 --> 00:37:32,206 AND SHE GOES, "YOU LEFT THE DISHES IN THE SINK LAST NIGHT. IS THAT WHAT WE'RE DOING 465 00:37:32,206 --> 00:37:36,077 LEAVING THE DISHES IN THE SINK?" I TURN TO HER, I'M LIKE, "DO 466 00:37:36,077 --> 00:37:39,747 YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO [ LAUGHTER ] I AM A VERY POWERFUL 467 00:37:39,747 --> 00:37:44,685 MILLIONAIRE. YOU CAN'T TALK TO A VERY POWERFUL MILLIONAIRE THAT WAY. 468 00:37:44,685 --> 00:37:50,925 BUT LATER I FOUND OUT, SHE HAD BEEN DOING A BILLIONAIRE MINDSET. 469 00:37:50,925 --> 00:37:57,098 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT OUR EVENINGS CAN ESCALATE IN QUARANTINE. 470 00:37:57,098 --> 00:38:03,804 THEY REALLY CAN. FOR EXAMPLE, MY GIRLFRIEND IS FROM INDIANA 471 00:38:03,804 --> 00:38:07,174 DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT PEOPLE FROM INDIANA DO NOT LIKE TO BE CALLED HILLBILLIES 472 00:38:07,174 --> 00:38:10,778 YEAH THAT IS A SLUR THE POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM IS 473 00:38:10,778 --> 00:38:14,849 FARM TO TABLE. THE FARM TO TABLES DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL THEM 474 00:38:14,849 --> 00:38:19,887 HILLBILLIES. IT GETS THEIR OVERALLS IN A TWIST! 475 00:38:19,887 --> 00:38:25,693 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, IT'S ESCALATING. SHE GOES, "YOU'RE ALWAYS MAD AT 476 00:38:25,693 --> 00:38:27,228 ME THAT'S THE PROBLEM." I GO, "I DON'T THINK THAT'S 477 00:38:27,228 --> 00:38:30,498 TRUE." SHE GOES, "IT IS AND TO PROVE IT, I'M GOING TO START A LOG 478 00:38:30,498 --> 00:38:33,667 EVERY TIME YOU GET MAD AT ME, I'M GOING TO WRITE IT DOWN IN THE LOG. 479 00:38:33,667 --> 00:38:35,503 I WAS LIKE, "LOOK, NO DISRESPECT, BUT YOU HAVE A A TENDENCY TO OVERREACT 480 00:38:35,503 --> 00:38:42,410 SOMETIMES, SO I WOULD LIKE ACCESS TO THE LOG. SHE GOES, "NO YOU WILL NOT HAVE 481 00:38:42,410 --> 00:38:45,913 ACCESS TO THE LOG. I GO, "WELL, THEN I'M GONNA START MY OWN LOG 482 00:38:45,913 --> 00:38:50,918 EVERY TIME YOU DENY ME ACCESS TO YOUR LOG, I'M GONNA WRITE IT DOWN IN MY LOG." 483 00:38:50,918 --> 00:38:53,988 AND THAT WAS THE LAST ARGUMENT WE HAD WE DON'T ARGUE ANYMORE, BECAUSE 484 00:38:53,988 --> 00:38:57,658 IT'S TOO MUCH PAPER WORK [ LAUGHTER ] I FIGURE IF I WANT TO DO THAT 485 00:38:57,658 --> 00:39:06,333 MUCH PAPER WORK, I'D GO TO THE GYM! [ APPLAUSE ] 486 00:39:06,333 --> 00:39:09,937 I'M A CATHOLIC, AND I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU GUYS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 487 00:39:09,937 --> 00:39:13,040 YOU'RE WELCOME [ LAUGHTER ] WHEN YOU'RE CATHOLIC, WHAT YOU 488 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,043 DO IS YOU GO TO CHURCH IT'S OPEN NOW. IT'S LEGAL 489 00:39:16,043 --> 00:39:19,914 YOU SAY A PRAYER, YOU LIGHT A CANDLE, BUT I'M A VERY COMPETITIVE CATHOLIC 490 00:39:19,914 --> 00:39:23,284 SO BEFORE I LIGHT MY CANDLE, I BLOW EVERYBODY ELSE'S CANDLE OUT. 491 00:39:23,284 --> 00:39:29,056 [ LAUGHTER ] I'VE BEEN LOSING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT IN THE 492 00:39:29,056 --> 00:39:34,595 QUARANTINE, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN DOING INTERMITTENT FASTING AND THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND 493 00:39:34,595 --> 00:39:38,666 INTERMITTENT FASTING, IS THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT ALL THE TIME 494 00:39:38,666 --> 00:39:42,737 SOMETIMES, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT AND I WAS DOING IT AS A CHILD, 495 00:39:42,737 --> 00:39:47,508 BECAUSE MY FATHER HAD A GAMBLING PROBLEM HE WOULD LOSE THE MONEY THAT WE 496 00:39:47,508 --> 00:39:51,078 WERE GOING TO USE TO BUY FOOD -- HE WOULD LOSE IT ON FOOTBALL 497 00:39:51,078 --> 00:39:54,181 AND MY FRIENDS WERE NO HELP. THEY'RE LIKE, "MIKE, ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THIS WEEK?" 498 00:39:54,181 --> 00:40:00,521 I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW. DID THE DOLPHINS WIN BY THREE? THAT'S ALL MY TIME 499 00:40:00,521 --> 00:40:05,559 YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH! NEW YORK CITY, BABY! 500 00:40:05,559 --> 00:40:08,029 * Jimmy: MIKE VECCHIONE, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE IN THE 501 00:40:08,029 --> 00:40:14,602 STUDIO MIKE VECCHIONE CHECK OUT MIKE VECCHIONE 502 00:40:14,602 --> 00:40:19,106 YOU CAN'T SEE, BUT YOU'RE GETTING A STANDING OVATION WITH THOSE TEN PEOPLE RIGHT THERE 503 00:40:19,106 --> 00:40:22,243 WE LOVE YOU, BUDDY THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT CHECK OUT "MIKE VECCHIONE 504 00:40:22,243 --> 00:40:27,748 INVESTIGATES" AT APPLE PODCAST MY THANKS TO NORMAN REEDUS, CHARLI AND DIXIE D'AMELIO. 505 00:40:27,748 --> 00:40:33,654 MIKE VECCHIONE, ONE MORE TIME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE 506 00:40:33,654 --> 00:40:35,823 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. STAY SAFE. 507 00:40:35,823 --> 00:40:41,495 WEAR A MASK. STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MYERS."