>> Steve: FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF
NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JERRY SEINFELD
TAYLOR KINNEY. MUSICAL GUEST CAMILO AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW AND NOW HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH! HEY! OH, COME ON!
LOOKING GOOD THANK YOU VERY MUCH! HELLO!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, I WANT TO START OFF
BY WISHING EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEP, INSTEAD OF PFIZER AND MODERNA, PEOPLE JUST STAYED HOME AND DID SHOTS OF JAMESON.
YEP, ALL DAY WE GOT TO PLAY A FUN GAME DRUNK CO-WORKER OR BAD ZOOM
CONNECTION [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO -
ST. PATRICK'S DAY DURING COVID IS PRETTY STRANGE. YOU'VE GOT TO STAY SIX FEET
APART. OR AS IRISH DADS CALL IT, HUGGING. [ LAUGHTER ]
THE CDC PUT OUT GUIDELINES FOR HOW TO CELEBRATE YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUN HOLIDAY
WHEN YOU'RE GETTING TIPS FROM PEOPLE IN LAB COATS. ISN'T THAT FUN
YEAH THERE WEREN'T ANY BIG PARADES TODAY.
MY QUESTION IS, IS IT REALLY ST. PATRICK'S DAY IF I CAN'T WATCH A GUY ON FIFTH AVENUE
PUKE INTO A GREEN HAT AT 8:00 A.M.? YOU KNOW
I MEAN, ARE WE REALLY CELEBRATING WHEN I CAN'T SEE A A SUBWAY GRATE BLOW A KILT OVER
A MAN'S HEAD BUT PEOPLE STILL CELEBRATED. EVERYONE ATE CORNED BEEF AND
CABBAGE TO COMMEMORATE WHEN ST. PATRICK'S WENT KETO. [ LAUGHTER ]
IN CELEBRATION OF TODAY'S HOLIDAY, THE WHITE HOUSE FOUNTAIN WAS DYED GREEN.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. ACTUALLY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S JUST A LEAK IN THE MOUNTAIN DEW
PIPELINE INSTALLED BY TRUMP. [ LAUGHTER ] THEY'LL GET IT FIXED
WELL, THIS IS BIG. LAST NIGHT PRESIDENT BIDEN SAT DOWN FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
WITH GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS AND HE HAD SOME STRONG WORDS FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN
LISTEN TO THIS
YOU THINK HE'S A KILLER? >> UH-HUH.
I DO >> SO WHAT PRICE MUST HE PAY >> A PRICE HE'S GONNA PAY,
WELL, YOU'LL SEE SHORTLY >> Tariq: OKAY >> Jimmy: AND STEPHANOPOULOS
SAID, "OKAY, BUT DON'T CALL ME SHORTLY. [ LAUGHTER ]
OF COURSE, YOU WILL SEE SHORTLY IS POLITICAL CODE FOR, I HAVE NO FRIGGIN' IDEA
[ LAUGHTER ] BIDEN SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS IN AN '80s ACTION MOVIE
I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO PUT HIS BADGE IN THE DRAWER AND BE LIKE, "I'M NOT A COP TONIGHT,
GEORGE THIS IS PERSONAL." BUT BIDEN DIDN'T STOP THERE.
HE WENT ON TO SAY THIS ABOUT PUTIN.
HAVE A SOUL.
>> I DID SAY THAT TO HIM, YES. AND HIS RESPONSE WAS, "WE UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER."
I WASN'T BEING A WISE GUY. I WAS ALONE WITH HIM IN HIS OFFICE
THAT'S HOW IT CAME ABOUT I SAID, "I LOOKED IN YOUR EYES AND I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A
A SOUL." HE LOOKED BACK AND SAID, "WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.
>> Jimmy: THEN PUTIN WAS LIKE, "MR. BIDEN, ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME?
[ LAUGHTER ] THE WEIRD THING IS BIDEN ONCE SAID THE SAME THING TO A
A SCOOPER AT COLD STONE WHO FORGOT HIS HOT FUDGE "I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE
A SOUL." BIDEN SAID HE WAS ALONE IN PUTIN'S OFFICE
THEN PUTIN POINTED TO 52 DIFFERENT PLANTS IN THE ROOM AND SAID, "TRUST ME, WHEN
YOU'RE IN MY OFFICE, WE'RE NEVER ALONE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AT THE END OF THE INTERVIEW, STEPHANOPOULOS ASKED BIDEN ABOUT HIS DOG MAJOR WHO
RECENTLY GOT INTO SOME TROUBLE WITH A WHITE HOUSE STAFFER WATCH THIS
HOUSE? >> YEAH -- [ LAUGHTER ]
THE ANSWER IS YES. MAJOR WAS A RESCUE PUP MAJOR DID NOT BITE SOMEONE AND
PENETRATE THE SKIN, BUT HE'S A A SWEET DOG. 85% OF THE PEOPLE THERE LOVE
HIM. IT'S JUST, ALL HE DOES IS LICK THEM AND WAG HIS TAIL.
>> Jimmy: YEAH 85% OF THE PEOPLE LOVE HIM THE OTHER 15% ARE MISSING PART
OF THEIR FACE. [ LAUGHTER ] 85% JUST LOVE TO HAVE HIM
AROUND BIDEN WAS LIKE, "RELAX, AFTER IT HAPPENED, I LOOKED INTO
MAJOR'S EYES AND I SAW A SOUL. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, YOU GUYS, PRESIDENT BIDEN
IS ON HIS "HELP IS HERE" TOUR TO TALK ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF THE NEW STIMULUS PACKAGE
AND IT TURNS OUT, HE'S ALREADY BEEN A LOT OF PLACES TO PROMOTE THE BILL
HE EVEN RELEASED A SONG ABOUT IT TAKE A LOOK.
* I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE MA AND I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE * * I'VE BEEN TO CALIFORNIA
OKLAHOMA PENNSYLVANIA * * ARIZONA MASSACHUSETTS MISSISSIPPI SAN FRANCISCO *
* KANSAS CITY ALABAMA MINNESOTA CAROLINA * * NORTH DAKOTA NORTH KORE
VENEZUELA GUATEMALA * * INDONESIA COLORAD PAKISTAN CANCUN *
* TO THE MOON AUSTIN BOSTON IRAN AFGHANISTAN * * I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE MA
AND I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HE'S REALLY PUSHING
THIS THING HEY, GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR A "NEWS SMASH.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, IT'S
ST. PATRICK'S DAY. THE BIG PARADE MIGHT NOT BE HAPPENING THIS YEAR, BUT THAT
DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T CELEBRATE THE IRISH WITH SOME CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE THAT
YOU BOUGHT USING THE MONEY FROM YOUR STIMULUS CHECK. BIDEN SAYS 100 MILLION PEOPLE
WILL RECEIVE $1,400 OR MORE IN THE NEXT TEN DAYS. THOUGH I HAVE A FEELING A LOT
OF THEM WILL BLOW THEM ON MARCH MADNESS. PEOPLE ARE MAKING BETS LEFT AND
RIGHT. WHO WILL MAKE IT TO THE SWEET 16
THE FINAL FOUR WHO WILL GO ALL THE WAY? WELL, IF YOU WANT TO GO ALL THE
WAY, WHY NOT TRY -- TINDER THE APP IS IN THE NEWS BECAUSE THEY'RE MAILING FREE COVID
TESTS TO PEOPLE SO THEY CAN BE SAFE BEFORE GOING ON DATES SOME USERS LIKE THE IDEA
OTHERS THINK IT'S WEIRD. BUT ONE IDEA EVERYONE CAN GET BEHIND, STIMULUS CHECKS.
GIVE ME THAT STIMMY. THAT MOOLAH. THAT COLD HARD CASH.
THAT CHEDDAR THAT PAPER THAT LETTUCE
THAT GREEN GREEN BEER, GREEN HAIR, GREEN CLOTHES.
SOME PEOPLE PINCH YOU IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING GREEN. AND THEY'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE
YOU SHOULD AVOID ON TINDER YOU CAN GET TESTED BEFORE A BIG DATE
LET'S BE HONEST. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET TESTED AFTER, TOO
THOUGH I'VE GOT TO SAY, DATING RIGHT NOW SEEMS LIKE COMPLETE, MADNESS.
68 TEAMS VYING FOR THE TOP SPOT A BUNCH OF COLLEGE KIDS GOING
AT IT, WHICH IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO DESCRIBE TINDER IN CONCLUSION, YOU'RE IN LUCK.
GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY. IT'S THE LUCK OF THE IRISH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS HAS BEEN A "NEWS SMASH!
*
>> Jimmy: SOME SPORTS NEWS, I SAW THAT LeBRON JAMES RECENTLY BECAME PART OWNER OF THE BOSTON
RED SOX. THAT'S RIGHT THE RED SOX ARE NOW PARTLY
OWNED BY A YANKEES FAN WHO PLAYS FOR THE LAKERS, AND THEY FOUND OUT ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY
SO, PLEASE, CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS IN BOSTON. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT BUSINESS NEWS HERE, I SAW THAT YANKEE CANDLE JUST ANNOUNCED ITS SCENT OF THE YEAR
IS DISCOVERY IT'S ALREADY PREDICTED TO BE THIS YEAR'S MOST RE-GIFTED
CANDLE [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE CANDLE IS CALLED
DISCOVERY. IT'S A PRETTY FANCY NAME FOR SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO SIT
UNDISCOVERED ABOVE YOUR TOILET FOR THREE YEARS. AND FINALLY, A WOMAN IN FLORIDA
WAS JUST ARRESTED FOR SOMETHING PRETTY CRAZY WATCH THIS
DOING A BOTCHED NOSE JOB POLICE SAY THE WOMAN POSED AS A FAKE PLASTIC SURGEON AND
PERFORMED A NOSE JOB ON A MAN. SHE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANOTHER SURGERY WHEN SHE WAS
ARRESTED >> Jimmy: PATIENTS KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HER
SURGICAL GOWN HAD AN AUTO ZONE LOGO ON IT [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THEY STOPPED HER MID-SURGERY. MEANWHILE THE PATIENT WAS LIKE,
"UM, HELLO!" GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
EVERYBODY!
* >> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS, BEFORE WE
START I JUST WANT TO SEND OUR LOVE TO EVERYONE DOWN IN ATLANTA.
OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO EVERYONE IN THE COMMUNITY THERE [ APPLAUSE ]
THINKING ABOUT YOU TONIGHT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HIS NEW BOOK, "IS THIS ANYTHING," IS AVAILABLE NOW. JERRY SEINFELD IS HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MY MAN PLUS HE STARS IN THE HIT
SERIES, "CHICAGO FIRE," TAYLOR KINNEY IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM CAMILO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, BE SURE TO WATCH TOMORROW NIGHT. WE HAVE A BIG SHOW FOR YOU
MICHELLE OBAMA WILL BE WITH US [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE TALKING WITH HER AND
THEN WE'RE GOING TO DO A FIRST EVER ZOOM BOMB SO, THE WAY THIS WORKS IS WE
ARE GOING TO ZOOM BOMB SOME PEOPLE WE'RE JUST GOING TO CRASH
RANDOM ZOOM MEETINGS AND SURPRISE PEOPLE WITH MICHELLE OBAMA
IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY -- IT'S A LOT OF FUN THAT'S TOMORROW NIGHT.
AND THEN FRIDAY NIGHT, WE'RE HEADING OUT OF THE STUDIO TO DO A VERY SPECIAL "AT HOME" SHOW
FROM MY HOUSE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT WAS EXACTLY A YEAR AGO TODAY
THAT WE FIRST STARTED DOING THOSE, SO NOW IT'S A YEAR LATER AND WE'RE GOING TO DO ANOTHER
ONE AND IT'S A GOOD ONE. MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY IS ON THE SHOW
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'RE DOING, "THANK YOU NOTES," "ASK THE FALLONS," A WHOLE LOT
MORE AND I'M SURE MY KIDS WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
I HAVE TO ASK THEIR AGENTS TO GET BACK TO US AND WE'VE TEAMED UP WITH STATE
FARM TO HELP RAISE MONEY FOR FEEDING AMERICA. SO, WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO
DONATE, AND STATE FARM IS GOING TO MATCH THOSE DONATIONS IT IS A GREAT SHOW, A GREAT
CAUSE. FRIDAY NIGHT, "AT HOME" SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NOW IT IS TIME FOR "HASHTAGS," EVERYBODY. HERE WE GO
* HASHTAG HASHTAGS * >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING
EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND I ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC.
SO SINCE IT IS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AND WE ALL WANT TO GO OUT AND PARTY, BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT
A FEW MORE MONTHS. I THOUGHT WE COULD REMINISCE SO I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG
"PARTY FAIL," WHERE I ASKED YOU GUYS TO YOU TWEET OUT SOME OF YOUR BEST PARTY STORIES.
WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC, SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG.
AND NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE PARTY FAIL RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS.
THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM REZENDES NICK. HE SAYS, "A COLLEGE CRUSH ONCE
ASKED ME TO OPEN HER BEER AT A A PARTY. TO IMPRESS HER, I TRIED TO OPEN
WITH IT MY TEETH NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE THE BOTTLE SHATTERED AND MY
GUMS STARTED BLEEDING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. AS SHE LOOKED IN HORROR, SHE
SAID, "IT'S A TWIST-OFF. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE'S FROM @MORNINGSKINNY
THEY SAID, "ONE YEAR ON ST. PATTY'S, MY ROOMMATE AND I DECIDED TO CHANGE ALL OF OUR
LIGHT BULBS GREEN FOR OUR PARTY, INCLUDING THE FRONT DOOR LIGHT OF OUR APARTMENT
WHEN THE COPS GOT A LOUD NOISE COMPLAINT, THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHERE TO GO.
IT'S LIKE, WHO WOULD BE THE -- OKAY, THE GREEN HOUSE. THIS ONE'S FROM @JBELLPOE.
SHE SAYS, "FOR THEIR LITTLE GIRL'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, SOME FRIENDS CREATED A PINATA IN THE
SHAPE OF HER FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL I DON'T THINK THEY CONSIDERED
THE OPTICS OF HAVING A BUNCH OF 6-YEAR-OLDS BEAT A BABY SEAL WITH A STICK
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NOT A GOOD LOOK. THIS ONE'S FROM AJA THE FAIRY.
SHE SAYS, "MY FRIEND INVITED ME TO SOMEONE'S APARTMENT FOR A A PARTY.
WE WERE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME WHEN THE HOST YELLED, 'OH NO, THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE ARE
HOME.' WE HAD NO IDEA IT WASN'T HIS PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YOU DON'T LIVE HERE? THIS IS FROM @NOTJUSTARAND0.
HE SAYS, "I WAS PART OF A GROUP ZOOM GENDER REVEAL PARTY WHERE THE GRANDMOTHER OF THE MOM
WASN'T MUTED AND SAID TO HER CARETAKER, 'I'M SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T GET PREGNANT IN HIGH
SCHOOL, TO BE HONEST.' [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT IS A PARTY FAIL THERE,
MAN. THIS ONE IS FROM @ITSFLYTOBECHE
SHE SAYS, "WE HAD A WOODEN FRAME BEER PONG TABLE BACK IN COLLEGE.
SOME GUY TRIED TO SLAM DUNK A BEER PONG BALL INTO A CUP. BROKE THE TABLE AND ROLLED OFF
SIDEWAYS OUT OF OUR FIRST STORY WINDOW [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S GREAT OH, MY GOD THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON TAPE.
THAT'S REALLY GOOD THAT MAKES ME LAUGH. THIS LAST ONE IS WRITTEN BY
JVB. SHE SAYS, "AT MY FIRST HOUSE PARTY EVER I THOUGHT I HAD A
A GREAT TIME DESPITE NOT REMEMBERING ANYTHING IT WASN'T UNTIL THE NEXT DAY I
WAS TOLD I CAUSED A SCENE, HIT ON THE HOST'S BOYFRIEND, BROKE HER LAMP, AND TRIED TO EAT SOME
TOILET PAPER HAVEN'T BEEN TO A HOUSE PARTY EVER SINCE."
THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS."
TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO "TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK MORE OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK
JERRY SEINFELD IN THE HOUSE. COME ON. *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. YOU KNOW, IT CAN BE HARD TO
MAKE BIG LIFE DECISIONS, BUT I HAVE SOMEONE HERE WHO CAN HELP IT'S TIME FOR LIFE COACH WITH
JERRY SEINFELD
WITH JERRY SEINFELD * >> Jimmy: I AM JOINED NOW BY
JERRY SEINFELD JERRY, ARE YOU THERE >> JIMMY -
>> Jimmy: YES. >> I AM HERE I AM READY
LET'S DO SOME COMEDY >> Jimmy: JERRY, YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND.
I LOVE HEARING YOUR TAKE ON THINGS SO WE ASKED VIEWERS AT HOME --
>> I DO, TOO >> Jimmy: TO - >> I LOVE MY MIND.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU. >> AND I LOVE MY TAKE ON THINGS
>> Jimmy: WE ASKED VIEWERS AT HOME TO SEND IN QUESTIONS THAT THEY NEED YOUR COACHING ON
ARE YOU READY TO GIVE OUT SOME TOUGH ADVICE >> I AM.
BUT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, MY ADVICE TO MOST PEOPLE WITH MOST QUESTIONS IS JUST
GOING TO BE, SHAVE YOUR HEAD, MOVE TO PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD
>> JUST START OVER THAT'S GONNA BE MY ADVICE 99% OF THE TIME, NO MATTER WHAT
YOUR PROBLEM IS. >> Jimmy: YEAH I UNDERSTAND
>> OKAY. BUT I LOVE THIS KIND OF THING 'CAUSE I DO HAVE OPINIONS ON
EVERYTHING THEY'RE NOT CORRECT. THEY'RE JUST MINE.
>> Jimmy: OKAY THIS FIRST ONE -- "MY GIRLFRIEND GOES TO BED EARLY,
AND SHE GETS ANGRY THAT I DON'T GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME SHE LOVES SNUGGLING, BUT I LIKE
HAVING A FEW HOURS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT. AM I BEING SELFISH?"
>> YES AND YOU'RE ALSO A MORON, BECAUSE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
GET IN BED WITH HER. FIRST OF ALL, DO WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO.
IF SHE WANTS TO GO TO BED EARLY, YOU GO TO BED EARLY >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> SHE WILL FALL ASLEEP! THEN YOU GET UP AND DO WHAT YOU WANT
[ LAUGHTER ] IDIOT! >> Jimmy: I TOLD YOU
THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU CAUSING A PROBLEM?
>> YES, LET HER FALL ASLEEP. SHE'S NEVER GOING TO KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: CAUSING SUCH A BIG PROBLEM WHILE SHE'S AWAKE? SHE'S GOT -- YEAH, EXACTLY
>> YEAH. YOU THINK SHE CAN HEAR YOUR EYES OPEN?
SHE CAN'T. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HERE'S ANOTHER
QUESTION "MY UNEMPLOYED FRIEND HAS BEEN CRASHING AT MY PLACE FOR SIX
MONTHS THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM YET I LOVE HIM, BUT HE NEVER DOES
THE DISHES, HE EATS MY FOOD WITHOUT ASKING AND REGULARLY TAKES SHOWERS THAT LAST OVER AN
HOUR SHOULD I CONFRONT HIM OR JUST LET THINGS BE?
>> YOU ARE NOT PAUL McCARTNEY. YOU CANNOT LET IT BE [ LAUGHTER ]
TELL THIS PERSON -- YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT THEM, YES YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO ACT IT OUT IN OTHER WAYS.
SLAMMING CUPBOARDS AND, YOU KNOW, KNOCKING THINGS OVER TELL HIM, "LOOK, THIS IS
BOTHERING ME." DON'T BE SO -- DON'T BE SO WEAK
AND SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE. "MY BROTHER IS ABOUT TO HAVE
HIS FIRST CHILD AND WANTS TO NAME HIM SAFFRON MY BROTHER'S KIND OF A HIPPY,
BUT HE'S ALSO SUPER SENSITIVE AND HAS A TEMPER, BUT I DON'T WANT TO POKE THE DRAGON.
BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY SOMETHING, RIGHT? >> NO.
SHUT UP! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SAFFRON IS A BEAUTIFUL NAME.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL COLOR NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. AND --
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> NEED I SAY, SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX.
>> Jimmy: YEAH NO, NO, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY THAT
YEAH, EXACTLY. I LIKE THIS ONE. "I'M A BRIDE'S MAID IN A
A WEDDING THAT'S BEEN RESCHEDULED TWICE DUE TO COVID THEY JUST RESCHEDULED IT A
A THIRD TIME, BUT NOW, IT'S IN CABO, AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN ASK IF ANY OF US WERE AVAILABLE.
CAN I JUST BACK OUT AT THIS POINT? I'M SO OVER IT."
>> YEAH. YOU CAN, BUT CABO'S PRETTY GOOD
I WOULD GO TO CABO WHY NOT? THAT'S PRETTY GOOD
THAT'S NOT A BAD WEDDING PLACE ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IS PROBABLY -- OU'RE GOING TO
ENJOY IT THAT'S -- THAT'S MY KIND OF M.O. IN LIFE
ANYTHING MY WIFE WANTS ME TO DO, I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT TO DO IT, AND I'M ALWAYS GLAD I
DID IT >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T -- FOR THE MOST PART, YOU DON'T WANT --
LIKE TO DO THINGS? >> NO. WHATEVER -- WHATEVER ANYONE
WANTS ME TO DO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. IF I WANT TO DO IT, IF IT WAS
MY IDEA, EVEN THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SO IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO -
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHAT PERCENTAGE? >> 50/50, I'M GONNA LIKE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND IT'S MY IDEA >> Jimmy: 50/50.
>> SO ANYBODY ELSE'S IDEA, THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND VACATIONS.
BECAUSE A VACATION IS SOMEONE ELSE'S IDEA OF WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> THEY THINK YOU'LL LIKE THIS THEY THINK YOU WANT TO ZIP LINE
AND KAYAK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY
WHO ZIP LINES AND KAYAKS >> ZIP LINE IS LIKE -- YOU KNOW, LIKE -- LIKE, I NEED TO
KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DRY CLEANING THAT'S WHAT ZIP LINING IS.
I WANT TO HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE I WOULD DO A ZIP LINE WHERE AFTER THE ZIP LINE, THEY PUT ME
IN CLEAR PLASTIC ON A HOOK IN THE BACK OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S CAR BACK TO THE HOTEL.
GIVE ME THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF BEING DRY CLEANED. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "JERRY, I'VE BEEN SECRETLY USING MY GIRLFRIEND'S EXPENSIVE SHAMPOO AND THEN
ADDING A BIT OF MY CHEAPER ONE TO IT, SO SHE DOESN'T NOTICE." >> AH, GOOD.
I LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: "I FEEL BAD, BUT THE STUFF IS LIKE $50 A BOTTLE
SHOULD I STOP? >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: "DOES THIS MAKE ME A
A BAD PERSON?" >> NO. THERE ARE OTHER THINGS YOU DO
THAT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON, BUT NOT THIS [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS -- THIS I LIKE. SCREW HER. SCREW THE FANCY SHAMPOO PEOPLE
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> KEEP THE SCAM GOING AS LONG AS YOU CAN
I THINK IT'S VERY CREATIVE [ LAUGHTER ] VERY INVENTIVE
>> Jimmy: VERY CREATIVE. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO LAST ONE HERE. "WE'VE BEEN ORDERING LOTS OF
TAKE OUT DURING LAST YEAR, AND HAVE A BUNCH OF EXTRA KETCHUP PACKETS LYING AROUND
MY WIFE THINKS WE SHOULD THROW THEM OUT I DON'T WANT TO BE WASTEFUL AND
BUY A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP WHEN WE HAVE PERFECTLY GOOD PACKETS TO USE.
SHE SAYS I'M BEING UNCIVILIZED AM I WRONG?" >> THIS IS -- AGAIN, THIS IS SO
SIMPLE I CANNOT BELIEVE THE STUPIDITY OF THIS.
JUST TAKE A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP AND OPEN EACH ONE AND PUT IT IN
PUT IT IN. AND LET HER CATCH YOU DOING THAT
>> Jimmy: AND THEN IF SHE -- >> LET HER FIND YOU -- >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> WHEN SHE COMES HOME FROM WORK, SITTING THERE -- >> Jimmy: DOING THAT ALL DAY
LONG >> PUTTING THEM IN ONE AFTER THE OTHER.
BUT YEAH, MAYBE AND YOU THE SHAMPOO GUY COULD HANG OUT >> Jimmy: OR -
>> OR -- >> Both: SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR LIFE COACH
MY THANKS TO THE GREAT JERRY SEINFELD STICK AROUND
WE'LL BE TALKING WITH JERRY AFTER THE BREAK. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
* * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS ONE
OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES HIS BEST SELLING BOOK, "IS THIS ANYTHING" IS FILLED WITH 45
YEARS WORTH OF HIS STAND-UP MATERIAL IT IS UNBELIEVABLE
IT IS A MUST-OWN IT'S AVAILABLE NOW HERE HE IS, JERRY SEINFELD
JERRY, THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR DOING THIS SHOW. AND DOING -- DOING LIFE COACH.
I THINK IT HELPED A LOT OF PEOPLE LIFE COACH
>> I THINK I DID I CAN'T THINK OF ONE PERSON WHOSE LIFE WON'T BE BETTER
>> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE GIVING ADVICE TO PEOPLE >> OH, YEAH.
I COULD GIVE ADVICE CONSTANTLY UNWANTED, UNNECESSARY, NOT ASKED FOR.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER, I WENT TO YOU FOR ADVICE REALLY -- EARLY,
I MEAN, THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOU AT THE
IMPROV BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO FOLLOW YOU, BECAUSE YOU DESTROYED, YOU JUST CAME ON
AND SURPRISED EVERYBODY, IT WAS GREAT. AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE,
"WHOSE -- ARE THEY ON? I'M NOT GOING ON WHO IS JIMMY FALLON?
I GO, "THAT'S ME." AND THEN I WENT ON AND I END UP DOING AN
IMPRESSION OF YOU AND I KIND OF REBOUNDED. AND I DID -- I DID OKAY.
I DIDN'T CRUSH IT, I DIDN'T DO AMAZING. I DID OKAY
BUT THEN I GOT TO MEET YOU AT A PARTY. SOME BIG PARTY THAT I SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN AT AND YOU WERE TALKING WITH -- IT WAS ADAM SANDLER, MAYBE, AT HIS
HOUSE. AND YOU WERE TALKING WITH ADAM -
>> MY POOL >> Jimmy: YEAH >> MY POOL
BY A POOL? >> Jimmy: YOU WERE BY A POOL WITH GARRY SHANDLING
>> YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT >> Jimmy: YOU DO >> YEAH.
I REMEMBER THAT. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS ME. I WAS --
>> ME, SANDLER, AND SHANDLING AND YOU CAME UP. >> Jimmy: YES, I WALKED IN
BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS, BUT I SAID I HAD AN IN, KIND OF, BECAUSE I HAD JUST DONE THIS
AND I GO, HEY, AND I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS I PROBABLY DID NOT EVEN MAKE
EYE CONTACT WITH YOU AND I SAID, I FOLLOWED YOU AT THE IMPROV
AND YOU CRUSHED, IT BUT DID OKAY I ENDED UP DOING AN IMPRESSION
OF YOU AND I GOT UP AND YOU GO, "THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU
YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW PEOPLE." IT WAS KIND OF GREAT ADVICE.
BUT THAT'S GONNA BE PART OF THIS RIDE. >> WELL, BECAUSE THERE IS NO
ADVICE THAT'S THE -- THAT'S THE KIND OF WEIRD THING ABOUT STAND-UP
COMEDY IS LIKE, NOBODY CAN HELP YOU IT'S LIKE BEING A NEWBORN CALF
THE COW CAN'T SAY, "HERE'S HOW YOU WALK." IT'S JUST LIKE -- FIGURE IT
OUT, YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THAT WAS THE ADVICE
I WENT UP TO RODNEY DANGERFIELD THE SAME WAY YOU CAME UP TO ME WHEN I WAS A KID AT CATCH
A RISING STAR. FIRST AVENUE AND 78th STREET AND I WENT UP TO HIM AND YOU
KNOW, HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS I WAS JUST IN THE BAR STANDING THERE.
AND I GO, "CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO BE A A COMEDIAN?"
AND HE WENT, "YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT. OR YOU WON'T."
>> Jimmy: ISN'T THAT GREAT YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT >> YEAH, AND IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS GREAT >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU? THIS IS YOUR OFFICE?
>> I'M IN MY OFFICE. THIS IS MY OFFICE IN NEW YORK WHERE I MEET WITH PEOPLE OR I
DO STUFF >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. I LIKE THE SUPERMAN POSTER
>> YEAH. THAT'S MY SUPERMAN POSTER. THAT'S FROM THE '30s
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I GOT THAT. AND TO THE -- TO THE RIGHT OF THAT ,ARE THREE OF THE MOST
IMPORTANT THINGS TO ME THE TOP THING IS A BLOW-UP OF A POSTAGE STAMP OF THE SET OF
MY TV SERIES THEY PUT ON IT A POSTAGE STAMP AND I THOUGHT, THAT WAS A BIG
DEAL I THOUGHT THAT WAS REALLY GREAT.
THAT THEY PUT THIS -- AND THEY PUT THE NAME OF THE SHOW ON THERE.
AND THEN BELOW THAT IS AN AWARD I RECEIVED FOR WRITING AN ARTICLE FOR A CAR MAGAZINE
WHICH WAS MY ORIGINAL THING THAT I WANTED TO DO IF COMEDY DIDN'T WORK OUT.
I WANTED TO WRITE FUNNY ARTICLES FOR CAR MAGAZINES SO I ONLY WROTE ONE IN 2003.
AND I WON AN AWARD FOR IT, SO I'M VERY PROUD OF THAT AND THEN BELOW THAT IS ME ON
STAGE IN THE EAST ROOM OF THE WHITE HOUSE PERFORMING FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA AND
PAUL McCARTNEY WHEN HE WON THE GERSHWIN PRIZE >> Jimmy: GOSH
>> SO THAT WAS ON STAGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE. THAT'S IT.
JUST CLOSE THE BOOK AFTER THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH
THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW, YEAH IF YOU'RE ON STAGE AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> THAT MOMENT AND MY FIRST PITCH PERFECT STRIKE FROM JULY 5th, 2019.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO SAY THE DATE. WE ALL REMEMBER.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> THOSE ARE THE TWO PINNACLE MOMENTS OF MY LIFE
NOT COUNTING THE BIRTH OF THE KIDS, OF COURSE, WHICH WE ALWAYS HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, WE
ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY THAT. >> Jimmy: I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT, EARLIER THIS WEEK YOUR
WIFE JESSICA, PLEASE TELL HER I GIVE HER MY BEST >> I WILL.
>> Jimmy: SHE POSTED AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO. I FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM.
SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S FUNNY. SHE'S INTERESTING.
>> SHE'S AMAZING ON INSTAGRAM. >> Jimmy: SHE'S AMAZING. LIKE PRODUCING A SHOW, IT'S
JUST GREAT >> I KNOW, SHE IS REALLY INCREDIBLE
>> Jimmy: THERE'S AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF YOU ENJOYING A NEW YORK SLICE OF PIZZA.
>> YES >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS
THIS IS -- I LOVE THIS I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
THERE YOU GO
YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT NOW HERE'S WHY I ENJOY IT.
BECAUSE I LIKE -- I'VE HAD THAT PIZZA, BY THE WAY. >> THAT'S MAMA TU'S PIZZA ON
BROADWAY AND 106th I LOVE THAT PIZZA. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT PIZZA
TOO. >> I ALSO LOVE CAPIZZI ON 9th AND 38th, BUT THEY'RE CLOSED
RIGHT NOW. BUT THAT'S WHAT I CALL -- THERE IS A CERTAIN KIND OF HAPPY THAT
IS PIZZA HAPPY THAT ONLY PIZZA GIVES YOU THAT HAPPY, THAT FEELING.
WHEN YOU'RE PIZZA HAPPY, THAT'S IT >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT.
>> THAT'S ANOTHER, THAT'S IT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. THAT'S IT. CONGRATS AGAIN ON YOUR BOOK.
I ACTUALLY - >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I HAVE TWO COPIES OF
THE BOOK I LIKE TO HAVE IT WHEREVER, I JUST LIKE TO HAVE IT AROUND.
>> THOSE ARE ALL MY BITS ALL MY BITS THAT I - MY WHOLE LIFE.
I PUT IT IN A BOOK IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS SUDDENLY, GOD FORBID
THERE IT IS. THAT'S WHAT I DID. >> Jimmy: IN THE BOOK, YOU ALSO
TALK ABOUT "THE TONIGHT SHOW" BEING IT FOR A STAND-UP COMEDIAN
>> SURE. >> Jimmy: DID YOU CELEBRATE AFTER YOUR FIRST "TONIGHT
SHOW"? DID IT CHANGE THINGS FOR YOU >> OH, YEAH, EVERY "TONIGHT
SHOW." I DID MY FIRST ONE ON MAY 6TH, 1981
I DON'T KNOW DID I ABOUT 25 OR 30 OF THEM THROUGHOUT THE '80s AND THEN
THE '90s AND WELL, I'M STILL DOING THEM BUT --
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW, BUT I WAS IN L.A. IN THOSE DAYS, AND EVERY SHOT
THAT YOU WOULD DO WAS LIKE, I'M EITHER GETTING SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUSINESS OR I'M GOING TO
BE OUT OF THIS BUSINESS PRETTY SOON, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU DID YOU KNOW
THAT SIX MINUTES WAS YOUR OLYMPIC 100 METERS AND THE TENSION WAS
TREMENDOUSLY HIGH. AND YOU KNOW, YOU PRACTICE YOUR STUFF FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS AND
WEEKS. AND THEN YOU GO OUT THERE AND YOU WOULD BE ON TV IN FRONT OF
AN AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW, AND IF IT WORKS, EVERYONE KNOWS AND IF IT DOESN'T, EVERYONE
KNOWS. SO THE EXCITEMENT OF THAT, I FEEL VERY LUCKY THAT I FELT
THAT NERVE THAT TREMENDOUS NERVOUSNESS AND ENERGY OF THOSE APPEARANCES.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GO OUT AFTERWARDS WAS THERE A SPOT YOU USED TO GO
TO, LIKE A DINER OR SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE >> ALWAYS ITALIAN FOOD
YOU KNOW, I'M AN ITALAPHILE. YEAH, AND THEN I WOULD HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRINK, AND TOO MUCH
DESSERT, AND TOO MUCH COFFEE AND TOO MUCH EVERYTHING. AND JUST, YOU KNOW, AND I LEAVE
THE SUIT ON, YOU PULL THE TIE DOWN, AND YOU JUST EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND DRINK.
YEAH, THAT TO ME WAS WHAT IT'S ABOUT. >> Jimmy: YEAH
THAT'S ANOTHER IT. >> THAT'S IT >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT.
WELL, I'M GOING TO SAY FOR THIS INTERVIEW, THAT'S IT I'M ALWAYS HONORED WHEN YOU CAN
COME BY AND YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE. YOU ALWAYS COME BY
WE REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT, BUDDY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> ALWAYS A PLEASURE, PAL. >> Jimmy: BEST TO THE FAM. PICK UP A COPY OF, "IS THIS
ANYTHING" WHICH IS OUT NOW IT IS SO GOOD. TAYLOR KINNEY JOINS US AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME BACK.
* >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS CURRENTLY IN HIS NINTH SEASON
OF "CHICAGO FIRE," WHICH AIRS WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M. ON NBC AND IS STREAMING ON
PEACOCK, RIGHT NOW HERE IS TAYLOR KINNEY! TAYLOR
>> HEY >> Jimmy: IT IS SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW I'VE ACTUALLY MET YOU BEFORE,
BUT VERY BRIEFLY >> THIS WAS, I FORGET THE YEAR -- 2016, MAYBE SOMETHING
LIKE THAT. BUT EVERY YEAR, I THINK I'VE DONE IT FOUR TIMES -- WE DO
A POLAR PLUNGE, WHICH IS A A CHARITY EVENT FOR THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS IN CHICAGO.
THEY WAIT FOR, YOU KNOW, IN AND AROUND THE COLDEST DAY OF THE YEAR, AND THEY PUSH SOME ICE
AND DEBRIS UP FROM LAKE MICHIGAN YOU GET YOUR SWIM TRUNKS ON,
AND YOU JUMP IN. AND IT'S GOTTEN BIGGER, THE CROWDS
I REMEMBER YOU WERE THERE, VINCE VAUGHN WAS THERE, AND I REMEMBER YOU HAD A SUIT ON
AND YOU WERE LIKE JUST ALL FULL SUIT AND I GO, "WELL, HOW'S HE GONNA
GET OUT? THAT'S GOTTA BE, LIKE, TRIPLE AS COLD.
>> Jimmy: LOOK, THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> THERE YOU GO. >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER SEEING YOU.
MY HAIR WAS FROZEN IT WAS SPIKEY. >> OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING JUST
GOES - >> Jimmy: ICE. >> AND I'M SURE YOUR SUIT IS
STILL PROBABLY STIFF AS A BOARD. >> Jimmy: IT'S THAWING OUT,
YEAH IT'S HALFWAY FROM CHICAGO TO NEW YORK
YEAH BUT, I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT FOUR TIMES
GOOD FOR YOU THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S NOT A SURPRISE TO ME THAT
YOU DO THESE THINGS. 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN GREAT SHAPE BUT ALSO, YOU LIKE A GOOD
CHALLENGE. I KNOW YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS HAVE BIG GRILLING COMPETITIONS
WITH EACH OTHER. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: HOW DID THAT START
>> I KIND OF GREW UP ON FISH STICKS, AND MEATLOAF, AND LEFTOVER FISH STICKS AND
LEFTOVER CHICKEN AND SO IT WAS ALWAYS, I JUST EXPECTED THINGS TO TASTE LIKE
THAT AND, I WAS WORKING A LOT, I STARTED, KIND OF, COMING HOME
AND GRILLING ON MY OWN, LIKE, TOWARDS THE END OF HIGH SCHOOL, BEGINNING OF COLLEGE
I WOULD GO, IF I WAS DOING CARPENTRY WORK OR ROOFING, I STARTED GRILLING, AND I STARTED
WITH THESE MARINADES AND THEN, IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, MOM, LIKE, YOU ACTUALLY CAN
MAKE CHICKEN THAT DOESN'T CRACK AND DRY. LIKE, THIS IS DELICIOUS, IT'S
KIND OF GOOD." AND, SO, AS A JOKE WITH THAT, AND THEN, WE GOT MORE INTO
IT -- STARTED WRITING DOWN RECIPES. MY BROTHERS GOT IN ON IT
AND THEN IT BECAME A A COMPETITION OF SORTS, AND IT JUST, KIND OF, TOOK OFF.
>> Jimmy: WELL, YOU TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT
A RESTAURANT >> SO I OWN -- PART OWN A RESTAURANT AND THEATER, IN
LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. IT'S CALLED ZOETROPOLIS AND LANCASTER DISTILLERIES
THE THEATER -- IT'S A SMALL THEATER. WE DO INDEPENDENT FILM
DOCUMENTARIES, LIVE MUSIC. IT'S NOT A BIG VENUE MAYBE 90-PERSON CAPACITY
PRE-COVID. IT'S HELPING A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IN BETWEEN JOBS AND IN
AND OUT OF WORK. >> Jimmy: PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL STUFF.
YEAH >> IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE, LIKE, COME AND DO A LITTLE
STAGE, A LITTLE SET ON THE STAGE THERE AT ZOETROPOLIS >> Jimmy: IF YOU HAVE AN OPEN
MIC, I CAN'T HELP MYSELF I HAVE TO GO UP AND GRAB ON. ZOETROPOLIS?
>> ZOETROPOLIS IS THE THEATER. LANCASTER DISTILLERIES IS THE RESTAURANT
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WATCH ME I'M GOING TO COME FOR YOU.
>> I LOVE IT >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY CONGRATS ON "CHICAGO FIRE.
IT'S A GIANT HIT I MEAN, THIS IS SEASON NINE NOW?
>> YES >> Jimmy: I MEAN, WHAT IS IT LIKE WHEN YOU FIRST GET THAT
JOB AND YOU GO, OH, THIS COULD BE FUN LET'S SEE, LET'S SEE IF WE CAN
DO THIS. CUT TO, WHAT IS IT TEN YEARS LATER NOW?
YOU'RE STILL -- YOU'RE CRUSHING IT IT IS STILL A MAJOR HIT ON NBC
>> IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS, I HAD DONE PILOTS BEFORE EITHER THEY GO, THEY DON'T GET
PICKED UP. IT'S KIND OF, YOU KNOW, IT'S A A CRAP SHOOT
YOU DON'T KNOW BUT, YOU KNOW, WITH DICK WOLF BEING A PART OF THIS, AND LAW
AND ORDER, I SAID, "WELL, THIS COULD HAVE SOME LEGS." I THINK IT WAS ONE OF OUR
PRODUCERS SAYING, A SHOW RUNNER SAID, "HEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO GETTING A PLACE.
NOT BUYING BUT JUST, HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO -- GET OUT OF THE HOTEL.
AND, IT'S BEEN NINE YEARS NOW, SO >> Jimmy: WOW!
>> IT'S THE CLOSEST THING AS A A 9:00 TO 5:00 THAT I THINK THAT I'LL EXPERIENCE IN THIS
LINE OF WORK >> Jimmy: I'M A FAN OF THE SHOW, AND I HAVE TO ASK,
BECAUSE I USED TO LIVE BY A FIRE STATION WHEN I WAS FIRST ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.
AND THEY ARE A VERY HONEST BUNCH. DO YOU HEAR FROM REAL
FIREFIGHTERS WHO WATCH AND GO LIKE, "WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
>> FOR THE MOST PART, IT WAS POSITIVE RESPONSES BUT I THINK IN THE FIRST COUPLE
EPISODES, THEY WERE LIKE, "WELL, YOU GUYS -- YOU GOT THIS HOSE
YOU SLID DOWN THIS HOSE. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK UP?
WE DON'T DO THAT WHAT IS THAT?" >> Jimmy: IT'S A TV SHOW
IT'S A TELEVISION SHOW WE'RE NOT REALLY FIREFIGHTERS. >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
I WAS LIKE, "THERE'S A LITTLE CREATIVE LICENSE." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT? NO, NO." >> Jimmy: TAYLOR, THANKS SO
MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW, MAN. I'M A BIG FAN.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S TAYLOR KINNEY IN "CHICAGO FIRE.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> JUST WAITING FOR SOME ASPIRIN TO KICK IN
WHAT'S UP? >> DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE DELIVERY STELLA ORDERED FOR
THE APARTMENT? >> DELIVERY OF WHAT? >> THAT'S THE THING.
SHE WOULDN'T SAY >> I DON'T DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE
SHE KNOWS THAT >> WELL, IT'S HER HOME, TOO, SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO PUT HER
STAMP ON THE PLACE >> PROBABLY. >> HEY, YOU AND KIDD, IF IT'S
TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON AND YOU GUYS NEED THE LOFT YOURSELVES, JUST SAY THE WORD.
I PROMISE. I'M ALL GOOD >> DIDN'T I JUST SAY I DON'T
DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE? >> Jimmy: TAYLOR KINNEY. "CHICAGO FIRE" AIRS WEDNESDAYS
AT 9:00 P.M. ON NBC. AND EVERY SEASON IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON PEACOCK
TAYLOR, THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING ON THE SHOW. I APPRECIATE IT.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK * >> Jimmy: MAKING HIS LATE NIGHT
DEBUT, PERFORMING "ROPA CARA" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "MIS MANOS. HERE'S CAMILO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* [ PHONE RINGING
* [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE *
*
[ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
* * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
>> Jimmy: IT'S SAINT PATRICK'S DAY EVERYBODY. AND TO DO SAINT PATRICK'S DAY
RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DRINK A A GUINNESS BUT POURING A GUINNESS
CORRECTLY CAN BE PRETTY TRICKY, SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN IF WE PUT OUR BEER POURING TO THE
TEST TARIQ AND I WILL BOTH POUR GUINNESS INTO A GLASS AND
WHOEVER'S POUR IS BEST WINS. QUESTLOVE WILL JUDGE TARIQ, ARE YOUR READY FOR THIS
>> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: ALRIGHT, LET'S DO IT, GO
* * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
* [ LAUGHTER ] *
* ALRIGHT, PERFECT
QUESTLOVE, FINAL ANSWER. WHO WINS QUICKLY, ME OR TARIQ
>> Questlove: IS TARIQ DONE YET? >> Jimmy: WE DON'T KNOW.
>> Questlove: I LOVE BOTH MY FRIEND'S POURING OR NO >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD.
>> Questlove: TARIQ, I'M SORRY JIMMY, YOU WON *
[ DING ] >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?
MY THANKS TO JERRY SEINFELD, TAYLOR KINNEY, CAMILO AND THE ROOTS OF COURSE.
THANK YOU, TARIQ THANKS FOR WATCHING EVERYBODY. STAY SAFE.
WEAR A MASK. HAVE A HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY.
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *