1 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,357 >> Steve: FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF 2 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:27,961 NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,331 TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JERRY SEINFELD 4 00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:36,269 TAYLOR KINNEY. MUSICAL GUEST CAMILO AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:41,374 ROOTS CREW AND NOW HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:53,753 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH! HEY! OH, COME ON! 7 00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:58,024 LOOKING GOOD THANK YOU VERY MUCH! HELLO! 8 00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:03,730 THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 9 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:10,870 "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, I WANT TO START OFF 10 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:18,078 BY WISHING EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:24,084 YEP, INSTEAD OF PFIZER AND MODERNA, PEOPLE JUST STAYED HOME AND DID SHOTS OF JAMESON. 12 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,853 YEP, ALL DAY WE GOT TO PLAY A FUN GAME DRUNK CO-WORKER OR BAD ZOOM 13 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:34,961 CONNECTION [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO - 14 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,597 ST. PATRICK'S DAY DURING COVID IS PRETTY STRANGE. YOU'VE GOT TO STAY SIX FEET 15 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:44,104 APART. OR AS IRISH DADS CALL IT, HUGGING. [ LAUGHTER ] 16 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,974 THE CDC PUT OUT GUIDELINES FOR HOW TO CELEBRATE YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUN HOLIDAY 17 00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:52,445 WHEN YOU'RE GETTING TIPS FROM PEOPLE IN LAB COATS. ISN'T THAT FUN 18 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,748 YEAH THERE WEREN'T ANY BIG PARADES TODAY. 19 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,283 MY QUESTION IS, IS IT REALLY ST. PATRICK'S DAY IF I CAN'T WATCH A GUY ON FIFTH AVENUE 20 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:02,055 PUKE INTO A GREEN HAT AT 8:00 A.M.? YOU KNOW 21 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,823 I MEAN, ARE WE REALLY CELEBRATING WHEN I CAN'T SEE A A SUBWAY GRATE BLOW A KILT OVER 22 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:09,829 A MAN'S HEAD BUT PEOPLE STILL CELEBRATED. EVERYONE ATE CORNED BEEF AND 23 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:16,970 CABBAGE TO COMMEMORATE WHEN ST. PATRICK'S WENT KETO. [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,240 IN CELEBRATION OF TODAY'S HOLIDAY, THE WHITE HOUSE FOUNTAIN WAS DYED GREEN. 25 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:27,414 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. ACTUALLY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S JUST A LEAK IN THE MOUNTAIN DEW 26 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:32,352 PIPELINE INSTALLED BY TRUMP. [ LAUGHTER ] THEY'LL GET IT FIXED 27 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:40,927 WELL, THIS IS BIG. LAST NIGHT PRESIDENT BIDEN SAT DOWN FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW 28 00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,429 WITH GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS AND HE HAD SOME STRONG WORDS FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN 29 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,697 AND HE HAD SOME STRONG WORDS FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN LISTEN TO THIS 30 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,500 YOU THINK HE'S A KILLER? >> UH-HUH. 31 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,103 I DO >> SO WHAT PRICE MUST HE PAY >> A PRICE HE'S GONNA PAY, 32 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,839 WELL, YOU'LL SEE SHORTLY >> Tariq: OKAY >> Jimmy: AND STEPHANOPOULOS 33 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:57,544 SAID, "OKAY, BUT DON'T CALL ME SHORTLY. [ LAUGHTER ] 34 00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:01,815 OF COURSE, YOU WILL SEE SHORTLY IS POLITICAL CODE FOR, I HAVE NO FRIGGIN' IDEA 35 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:06,386 [ LAUGHTER ] BIDEN SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS IN AN '80s ACTION MOVIE 36 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,755 I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO PUT HIS BADGE IN THE DRAWER AND BE LIKE, "I'M NOT A COP TONIGHT, 37 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:25,105 GEORGE THIS IS PERSONAL." BUT BIDEN DIDN'T STOP THERE. 38 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:25,939 BUT BIDEN DIDN'T STOP THERE. HE WENT ON TO SAY THIS ABOUT PUTIN. 39 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:27,607 HAVE A SOUL. 40 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:29,676 >> I DID SAY THAT TO HIM, YES. AND HIS RESPONSE WAS, "WE UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER." 41 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,544 I WASN'T BEING A WISE GUY. I WAS ALONE WITH HIM IN HIS OFFICE 42 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,546 THAT'S HOW IT CAME ABOUT I SAID, "I LOOKED IN YOUR EYES AND I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A 43 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,382 A SOUL." HE LOOKED BACK AND SAID, "WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. 44 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:40,553 >> Jimmy: THEN PUTIN WAS LIKE, "MR. BIDEN, ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME? 45 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,389 [ LAUGHTER ] THE WEIRD THING IS BIDEN ONCE SAID THE SAME THING TO A 46 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:48,828 A SCOOPER AT COLD STONE WHO FORGOT HIS HOT FUDGE "I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE 47 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:52,532 A SOUL." BIDEN SAID HE WAS ALONE IN PUTIN'S OFFICE 48 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,167 THEN PUTIN POINTED TO 52 DIFFERENT PLANTS IN THE ROOM AND SAID, "TRUST ME, WHEN 49 00:03:54,167 --> 00:04:02,042 YOU'RE IN MY OFFICE, WE'RE NEVER ALONE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 50 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,677 AT THE END OF THE INTERVIEW, STEPHANOPOULOS ASKED BIDEN ABOUT HIS DOG MAJOR WHO 51 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:08,148 RECENTLY GOT INTO SOME TROUBLE WITH A WHITE HOUSE STAFFER WATCH THIS 52 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,085 HOUSE? >> YEAH -- [ LAUGHTER ] 53 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,588 THE ANSWER IS YES. MAJOR WAS A RESCUE PUP MAJOR DID NOT BITE SOMEONE AND 54 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:20,960 PENETRATE THE SKIN, BUT HE'S A A SWEET DOG. 85% OF THE PEOPLE THERE LOVE 55 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:25,532 HIM. IT'S JUST, ALL HE DOES IS LICK THEM AND WAG HIS TAIL. 56 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:29,069 >> Jimmy: YEAH 85% OF THE PEOPLE LOVE HIM THE OTHER 15% ARE MISSING PART 57 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:33,740 OF THEIR FACE. [ LAUGHTER ] 85% JUST LOVE TO HAVE HIM 58 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,711 AROUND BIDEN WAS LIKE, "RELAX, AFTER IT HAPPENED, I LOOKED INTO 59 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:45,552 MAJOR'S EYES AND I SAW A SOUL. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, YOU GUYS, PRESIDENT BIDEN 60 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:50,256 IS ON HIS "HELP IS HERE" TOUR TO TALK ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF THE NEW STIMULUS PACKAGE 61 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:53,526 AND IT TURNS OUT, HE'S ALREADY BEEN A LOT OF PLACES TO PROMOTE THE BILL 62 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:57,230 HE EVEN RELEASED A SONG ABOUT IT TAKE A LOOK. 63 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:03,370 * I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE MA AND I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE * * I'VE BEEN TO CALIFORNIA 64 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,206 OKLAHOMA PENNSYLVANIA * * ARIZONA MASSACHUSETTS MISSISSIPPI SAN FRANCISCO * 65 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:09,609 * KANSAS CITY ALABAMA MINNESOTA CAROLINA * * NORTH DAKOTA NORTH KORE 66 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,879 VENEZUELA GUATEMALA * * INDONESIA COLORAD PAKISTAN CANCUN * 67 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:17,684 * TO THE MOON AUSTIN BOSTON IRAN AFGHANISTAN * * I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE MA 68 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:21,688 AND I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HE'S REALLY PUSHING 69 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:27,827 THIS THING HEY, GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR A "NEWS SMASH. 70 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:34,134 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, IT'S 71 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:37,270 ST. PATRICK'S DAY. THE BIG PARADE MIGHT NOT BE HAPPENING THIS YEAR, BUT THAT 72 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,905 DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T CELEBRATE THE IRISH WITH SOME CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE THAT 73 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:45,779 YOU BOUGHT USING THE MONEY FROM YOUR STIMULUS CHECK. BIDEN SAYS 100 MILLION PEOPLE 74 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:51,084 WILL RECEIVE $1,400 OR MORE IN THE NEXT TEN DAYS. THOUGH I HAVE A FEELING A LOT 75 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,621 OF THEM WILL BLOW THEM ON MARCH MADNESS. PEOPLE ARE MAKING BETS LEFT AND 76 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,823 RIGHT. WHO WILL MAKE IT TO THE SWEET 16 77 00:05:56,823 --> 00:06:00,427 THE FINAL FOUR WHO WILL GO ALL THE WAY? WELL, IF YOU WANT TO GO ALL THE 78 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:05,031 WAY, WHY NOT TRY -- TINDER THE APP IS IN THE NEWS BECAUSE THEY'RE MAILING FREE COVID 79 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:09,602 TESTS TO PEOPLE SO THEY CAN BE SAFE BEFORE GOING ON DATES SOME USERS LIKE THE IDEA 80 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:14,841 OTHERS THINK IT'S WEIRD. BUT ONE IDEA EVERYONE CAN GET BEHIND, STIMULUS CHECKS. 81 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:19,446 GIVE ME THAT STIMMY. THAT MOOLAH. THAT COLD HARD CASH. 82 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,748 THAT CHEDDAR THAT PAPER THAT LETTUCE 83 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,250 THAT GREEN GREEN BEER, GREEN HAIR, GREEN CLOTHES. 84 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,619 SOME PEOPLE PINCH YOU IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING GREEN. AND THEY'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE 85 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:31,157 YOU SHOULD AVOID ON TINDER YOU CAN GET TESTED BEFORE A BIG DATE 86 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:34,961 LET'S BE HONEST. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET TESTED AFTER, TOO 87 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:38,565 THOUGH I'VE GOT TO SAY, DATING RIGHT NOW SEEMS LIKE COMPLETE, MADNESS. 88 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,634 68 TEAMS VYING FOR THE TOP SPOT A BUNCH OF COLLEGE KIDS GOING 89 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:48,975 AT IT, WHICH IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO DESCRIBE TINDER IN CONCLUSION, YOU'RE IN LUCK. 90 00:06:48,975 --> 00:07:01,654 GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY. IT'S THE LUCK OF THE IRISH 91 00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:02,722 IT'S THE LUCK OF THE IRISH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS HAS BEEN A "NEWS SMASH! 92 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:03,823 * 93 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,792 >> Jimmy: SOME SPORTS NEWS, I SAW THAT LeBRON JAMES RECENTLY BECAME PART OWNER OF THE BOSTON 94 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:09,629 RED SOX. THAT'S RIGHT THE RED SOX ARE NOW PARTLY 95 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:14,868 OWNED BY A YANKEES FAN WHO PLAYS FOR THE LAKERS, AND THEY FOUND OUT ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY 96 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:20,540 SO, PLEASE, CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS IN BOSTON. [ LAUGHTER ] 97 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,342 BUT BUSINESS NEWS HERE, I SAW THAT YANKEE CANDLE JUST ANNOUNCED ITS SCENT OF THE YEAR 98 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:28,848 IS DISCOVERY IT'S ALREADY PREDICTED TO BE THIS YEAR'S MOST RE-GIFTED 99 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:33,253 CANDLE [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE CANDLE IS CALLED 100 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,055 DISCOVERY. IT'S A PRETTY FANCY NAME FOR SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO SIT 101 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:39,793 UNDISCOVERED ABOVE YOUR TOILET FOR THREE YEARS. AND FINALLY, A WOMAN IN FLORIDA 102 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:43,830 WAS JUST ARRESTED FOR SOMETHING PRETTY CRAZY WATCH THIS 103 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,736 DOING A BOTCHED NOSE JOB POLICE SAY THE WOMAN POSED AS A FAKE PLASTIC SURGEON AND 104 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:54,774 PERFORMED A NOSE JOB ON A MAN. SHE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANOTHER SURGERY WHEN SHE WAS 105 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:59,079 ARRESTED >> Jimmy: PATIENTS KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HER 106 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:05,752 SURGICAL GOWN HAD AN AUTO ZONE LOGO ON IT [ LAUGHTER ] 107 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,821 YEAH, THEY STOPPED HER MID-SURGERY. MEANWHILE THE PATIENT WAS LIKE, 108 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:13,293 "UM, HELLO!" GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 109 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,894 GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY! 110 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:28,475 * >> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS, BEFORE WE 111 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:32,312 START I JUST WANT TO SEND OUR LOVE TO EVERYONE DOWN IN ATLANTA. 112 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:38,051 OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO EVERYONE IN THE COMMUNITY THERE [ APPLAUSE ] 113 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,286 THINKING ABOUT YOU TONIGHT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 114 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:45,625 HIS NEW BOOK, "IS THIS ANYTHING," IS AVAILABLE NOW. JERRY SEINFELD IS HERE 115 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:50,063 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MY MAN PLUS HE STARS IN THE HIT 116 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:54,267 SERIES, "CHICAGO FIRE," TAYLOR KINNEY IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 117 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:59,839 AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM CAMILO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 118 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:03,610 GUYS, BE SURE TO WATCH TOMORROW NIGHT. WE HAVE A BIG SHOW FOR YOU 119 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:07,213 MICHELLE OBAMA WILL BE WITH US [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE TALKING WITH HER AND 120 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:12,318 THEN WE'RE GOING TO DO A FIRST EVER ZOOM BOMB SO, THE WAY THIS WORKS IS WE 121 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:16,790 ARE GOING TO ZOOM BOMB SOME PEOPLE WE'RE JUST GOING TO CRASH 122 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,193 RANDOM ZOOM MEETINGS AND SURPRISE PEOPLE WITH MICHELLE OBAMA 123 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,495 IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY -- IT'S A LOT OF FUN THAT'S TOMORROW NIGHT. 124 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,764 AND THEN FRIDAY NIGHT, WE'RE HEADING OUT OF THE STUDIO TO DO A VERY SPECIAL "AT HOME" SHOW 125 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:32,772 FROM MY HOUSE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT WAS EXACTLY A YEAR AGO TODAY 126 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,674 THAT WE FIRST STARTED DOING THOSE, SO NOW IT'S A YEAR LATER AND WE'RE GOING TO DO ANOTHER 127 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:42,248 ONE AND IT'S A GOOD ONE. MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY IS ON THE SHOW 128 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,050 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'RE DOING, "THANK YOU NOTES," "ASK THE FALLONS," A WHOLE LOT 129 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,752 MORE AND I'M SURE MY KIDS WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE. 130 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:49,356 I HAVE TO ASK THEIR AGENTS TO GET BACK TO US AND WE'VE TEAMED UP WITH STATE 131 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,659 FARM TO HELP RAISE MONEY FOR FEEDING AMERICA. SO, WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO 132 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:56,596 DONATE, AND STATE FARM IS GOING TO MATCH THOSE DONATIONS IT IS A GREAT SHOW, A GREAT 133 00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:01,167 CAUSE. FRIDAY NIGHT, "AT HOME" SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 134 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,236 NOW IT IS TIME FOR "HASHTAGS," EVERYBODY. HERE WE GO 135 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:14,614 * HASHTAG HASHTAGS * >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING 136 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,818 EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND I ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. 137 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:22,489 SO SINCE IT IS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AND WE ALL WANT TO GO OUT AND PARTY, BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT 138 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,759 A FEW MORE MONTHS. I THOUGHT WE COULD REMINISCE SO I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG 139 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:30,997 "PARTY FAIL," WHERE I ASKED YOU GUYS TO YOU TWEET OUT SOME OF YOUR BEST PARTY STORIES. 140 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,401 WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC, SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG. 141 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:40,073 AND NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE PARTY FAIL RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS. 142 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,677 THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM REZENDES NICK. HE SAYS, "A COLLEGE CRUSH ONCE 143 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:47,080 ASKED ME TO OPEN HER BEER AT A A PARTY. TO IMPRESS HER, I TRIED TO OPEN 144 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:51,251 WITH IT MY TEETH NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE THE BOTTLE SHATTERED AND MY 145 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,187 GUMS STARTED BLEEDING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. AS SHE LOOKED IN HORROR, SHE 146 00:10:54,187 --> 00:11:05,832 SAID, "IT'S A TWIST-OFF. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE'S FROM @MORNINGSKINNY 147 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,500 THEY SAID, "ONE YEAR ON ST. PATTY'S, MY ROOMMATE AND I DECIDED TO CHANGE ALL OF OUR 148 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,639 LIGHT BULBS GREEN FOR OUR PARTY, INCLUDING THE FRONT DOOR LIGHT OF OUR APARTMENT 149 00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:16,142 WHEN THE COPS GOT A LOUD NOISE COMPLAINT, THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHERE TO GO. 150 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:23,917 IT'S LIKE, WHO WOULD BE THE -- OKAY, THE GREEN HOUSE. THIS ONE'S FROM @JBELLPOE. 151 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,685 SHE SAYS, "FOR THEIR LITTLE GIRL'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, SOME FRIENDS CREATED A PINATA IN THE 152 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:29,656 SHAPE OF HER FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL I DON'T THINK THEY CONSIDERED 153 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:37,097 THE OPTICS OF HAVING A BUNCH OF 6-YEAR-OLDS BEAT A BABY SEAL WITH A STICK 154 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:42,102 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NOT A GOOD LOOK. THIS ONE'S FROM AJA THE FAIRY. 155 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,338 SHE SAYS, "MY FRIEND INVITED ME TO SOMEONE'S APARTMENT FOR A A PARTY. 156 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,108 WE WERE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME WHEN THE HOST YELLED, 'OH NO, THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE ARE 157 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:53,413 HOME.' WE HAD NO IDEA IT WASN'T HIS PLACE. 158 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:59,552 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YOU DON'T LIVE HERE? THIS IS FROM @NOTJUSTARAND0. 159 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,056 HE SAYS, "I WAS PART OF A GROUP ZOOM GENDER REVEAL PARTY WHERE THE GRANDMOTHER OF THE MOM 160 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,858 WASN'T MUTED AND SAID TO HER CARETAKER, 'I'M SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T GET PREGNANT IN HIGH 161 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:16,603 SCHOOL, TO BE HONEST.' [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT IS A PARTY FAIL THERE, 162 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:20,407 MAN. THIS ONE IS FROM @ITSFLYTOBECHE 163 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,710 SHE SAYS, "WE HAD A WOODEN FRAME BEER PONG TABLE BACK IN COLLEGE. 164 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,147 SOME GUY TRIED TO SLAM DUNK A BEER PONG BALL INTO A CUP. BROKE THE TABLE AND ROLLED OFF 165 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:33,753 SIDEWAYS OUT OF OUR FIRST STORY WINDOW [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 166 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,490 THAT'S GREAT OH, MY GOD THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON TAPE. 167 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:45,565 THAT'S REALLY GOOD THAT MAKES ME LAUGH. THIS LAST ONE IS WRITTEN BY 168 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,901 JVB. SHE SAYS, "AT MY FIRST HOUSE PARTY EVER I THOUGHT I HAD A 169 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,504 A GREAT TIME DESPITE NOT REMEMBERING ANYTHING IT WASN'T UNTIL THE NEXT DAY I 170 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,674 WAS TOLD I CAUSED A SCENE, HIT ON THE HOST'S BOYFRIEND, BROKE HER LAMP, AND TRIED TO EAT SOME 171 00:12:54,674 --> 00:13:00,246 TOILET PAPER HAVEN'T BEEN TO A HOUSE PARTY EVER SINCE." 172 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:03,049 THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." 173 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:06,152 TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO "TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS. 174 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:09,756 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK MORE OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK 175 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:33,079 JERRY SEINFELD IN THE HOUSE. COME ON. * 176 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:36,082 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. YOU KNOW, IT CAN BE HARD TO 177 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:40,186 MAKE BIG LIFE DECISIONS, BUT I HAVE SOMEONE HERE WHO CAN HELP IT'S TIME FOR LIFE COACH WITH 178 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,921 HAVE SOMEONE HERE WHO CAN HELP IT'S TIME FOR LIFE COACH WITH JERRY SEINFELD 179 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:49,129 WITH JERRY SEINFELD * >> Jimmy: I AM JOINED NOW BY 180 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,966 JERRY SEINFELD JERRY, ARE YOU THERE >> JIMMY - 181 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,934 >> Jimmy: YES. >> I AM HERE I AM READY 182 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:59,839 LET'S DO SOME COMEDY >> Jimmy: JERRY, YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND. 183 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,475 I LOVE HEARING YOUR TAKE ON THINGS SO WE ASKED VIEWERS AT HOME -- 184 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,778 >> I DO, TOO >> Jimmy: TO - >> I LOVE MY MIND. 185 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:07,947 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. >> AND I LOVE MY TAKE ON THINGS 186 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:11,051 >> Jimmy: WE ASKED VIEWERS AT HOME TO SEND IN QUESTIONS THAT THEY NEED YOUR COACHING ON 187 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,521 ARE YOU READY TO GIVE OUT SOME TOUGH ADVICE >> I AM. 188 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,490 BUT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, MY ADVICE TO MOST PEOPLE WITH MOST QUESTIONS IS JUST 189 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:25,331 GOING TO BE, SHAVE YOUR HEAD, MOVE TO PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD 190 00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:28,835 >> JUST START OVER THAT'S GONNA BE MY ADVICE 99% OF THE TIME, NO MATTER WHAT 191 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,571 YOUR PROBLEM IS. >> Jimmy: YEAH I UNDERSTAND 192 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,306 >> OKAY. BUT I LOVE THIS KIND OF THING 'CAUSE I DO HAVE OPINIONS ON 193 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:37,310 EVERYTHING THEY'RE NOT CORRECT. THEY'RE JUST MINE. 194 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,746 >> Jimmy: OKAY THIS FIRST ONE -- "MY GIRLFRIEND GOES TO BED EARLY, 195 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:45,552 AND SHE GETS ANGRY THAT I DON'T GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME SHE LOVES SNUGGLING, BUT I LIKE 196 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:50,924 HAVING A FEW HOURS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT. AM I BEING SELFISH?" 197 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,259 >> YES AND YOU'RE ALSO A MORON, BECAUSE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS 198 00:14:53,259 --> 00:15:00,433 GET IN BED WITH HER. FIRST OF ALL, DO WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO. 199 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:04,471 IF SHE WANTS TO GO TO BED EARLY, YOU GO TO BED EARLY >> Jimmy: YEAH 200 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:10,810 >> SHE WILL FALL ASLEEP! THEN YOU GET UP AND DO WHAT YOU WANT 201 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:14,114 [ LAUGHTER ] IDIOT! >> Jimmy: I TOLD YOU 202 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:17,150 THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU CAUSING A PROBLEM? 203 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:21,755 >> YES, LET HER FALL ASLEEP. SHE'S NEVER GOING TO KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 204 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,591 >> Jimmy: CAUSING SUCH A BIG PROBLEM WHILE SHE'S AWAKE? SHE'S GOT -- YEAH, EXACTLY 205 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,760 >> YEAH. YOU THINK SHE CAN HEAR YOUR EYES OPEN? 206 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:32,065 SHE CAN'T. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HERE'S ANOTHER 207 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,502 QUESTION "MY UNEMPLOYED FRIEND HAS BEEN CRASHING AT MY PLACE FOR SIX 208 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:39,773 MONTHS THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM YET I LOVE HIM, BUT HE NEVER DOES 209 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:44,144 THE DISHES, HE EATS MY FOOD WITHOUT ASKING AND REGULARLY TAKES SHOWERS THAT LAST OVER AN 210 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:50,817 HOUR SHOULD I CONFRONT HIM OR JUST LET THINGS BE? 211 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:56,623 >> YOU ARE NOT PAUL McCARTNEY. YOU CANNOT LET IT BE [ LAUGHTER ] 212 00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:01,528 TELL THIS PERSON -- YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT THEM, YES YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT. 213 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:06,399 YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO ACT IT OUT IN OTHER WAYS. 214 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:13,039 SLAMMING CUPBOARDS AND, YOU KNOW, KNOCKING THINGS OVER TELL HIM, "LOOK, THIS IS 215 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:18,244 BOTHERING ME." DON'T BE SO -- DON'T BE SO WEAK 216 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,780 AND SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, 217 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:24,384 YEAH ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE. "MY BROTHER IS ABOUT TO HAVE 218 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:29,823 HIS FIRST CHILD AND WANTS TO NAME HIM SAFFRON MY BROTHER'S KIND OF A HIPPY, 219 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:34,961 BUT HE'S ALSO SUPER SENSITIVE AND HAS A TEMPER, BUT I DON'T WANT TO POKE THE DRAGON. 220 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,064 BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY SOMETHING, RIGHT? >> NO. 221 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:42,202 SHUT UP! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SAFFRON IS A BEAUTIFUL NAME. 222 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:47,340 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL COLOR NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. AND -- 223 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,144 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> NEED I SAY, SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX. 224 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,246 >> Jimmy: YEAH NO, NO, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY THAT 225 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,415 YEAH, EXACTLY. I LIKE THIS ONE. "I'M A BRIDE'S MAID IN A 226 00:16:55,415 --> 00:17:00,120 A WEDDING THAT'S BEEN RESCHEDULED TWICE DUE TO COVID THEY JUST RESCHEDULED IT A 227 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,724 A THIRD TIME, BUT NOW, IT'S IN CABO, AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN ASK IF ANY OF US WERE AVAILABLE. 228 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,761 CAN I JUST BACK OUT AT THIS POINT? I'M SO OVER IT." 229 00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:10,296 >> YEAH. YOU CAN, BUT CABO'S PRETTY GOOD 230 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,799 I WOULD GO TO CABO WHY NOT? THAT'S PRETTY GOOD 231 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:19,372 THAT'S NOT A BAD WEDDING PLACE ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IS PROBABLY -- OU'RE GOING TO 232 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:23,410 ENJOY IT THAT'S -- THAT'S MY KIND OF M.O. IN LIFE 233 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,247 ANYTHING MY WIFE WANTS ME TO DO, I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT TO DO IT, AND I'M ALWAYS GLAD I 234 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:32,185 DID IT >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T -- FOR THE MOST PART, YOU DON'T WANT -- 235 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,321 LIKE TO DO THINGS? >> NO. WHATEVER -- WHATEVER ANYONE 236 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,058 WANTS ME TO DO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. IF I WANT TO DO IT, IF IT WAS 237 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:45,398 MY IDEA, EVEN THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO. [ LAUGHTER ] 238 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,869 >> Jimmy: SO IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO - 239 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:53,473 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHAT PERCENTAGE? >> 50/50, I'M GONNA LIKE THAT. 240 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,209 [ LAUGHTER ] AND IT'S MY IDEA >> Jimmy: 50/50. 241 00:17:56,209 --> 00:18:00,680 >> SO ANYBODY ELSE'S IDEA, THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND VACATIONS. 242 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,517 BECAUSE A VACATION IS SOMEONE ELSE'S IDEA OF WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE. 243 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:08,021 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THEY THINK YOU'LL LIKE THIS THEY THINK YOU WANT TO ZIP LINE 244 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:15,562 AND KAYAK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY 245 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:21,468 WHO ZIP LINES AND KAYAKS >> ZIP LINE IS LIKE -- YOU KNOW, LIKE -- LIKE, I NEED TO 246 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:27,273 KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DRY CLEANING THAT'S WHAT ZIP LINING IS. 247 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:31,745 I WANT TO HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE I WOULD DO A ZIP LINE WHERE AFTER THE ZIP LINE, THEY PUT ME 248 00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:36,049 IN CLEAR PLASTIC ON A HOOK IN THE BACK OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S CAR BACK TO THE HOTEL. 249 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:48,461 GIVE ME THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF BEING DRY CLEANED. [ LAUGHTER ] 250 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,399 >> Jimmy: "JERRY, I'VE BEEN SECRETLY USING MY GIRLFRIEND'S EXPENSIVE SHAMPOO AND THEN 251 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:57,437 ADDING A BIT OF MY CHEAPER ONE TO IT, SO SHE DOESN'T NOTICE." >> AH, GOOD. 252 00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:01,274 I LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: "I FEEL BAD, BUT THE STUFF IS LIKE $50 A BOTTLE 253 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:04,210 SHOULD I STOP? >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: "DOES THIS MAKE ME A 254 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:08,148 A BAD PERSON?" >> NO. THERE ARE OTHER THINGS YOU DO 255 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,217 THAT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON, BUT NOT THIS [ LAUGHTER ] 256 00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:17,123 THIS -- THIS I LIKE. SCREW HER. SCREW THE FANCY SHAMPOO PEOPLE 257 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,292 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> KEEP THE SCAM GOING AS LONG AS YOU CAN 258 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:23,329 I THINK IT'S VERY CREATIVE [ LAUGHTER ] VERY INVENTIVE 259 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:27,734 >> Jimmy: VERY CREATIVE. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS ALL RIGHT. 260 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,469 HERE WE GO LAST ONE HERE. "WE'VE BEEN ORDERING LOTS OF 261 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:33,506 TAKE OUT DURING LAST YEAR, AND HAVE A BUNCH OF EXTRA KETCHUP PACKETS LYING AROUND 262 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,576 MY WIFE THINKS WE SHOULD THROW THEM OUT I DON'T WANT TO BE WASTEFUL AND 263 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:40,513 BUY A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP WHEN WE HAVE PERFECTLY GOOD PACKETS TO USE. 264 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,751 SHE SAYS I'M BEING UNCIVILIZED AM I WRONG?" >> THIS IS -- AGAIN, THIS IS SO 265 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:48,588 SIMPLE I CANNOT BELIEVE THE STUPIDITY OF THIS. 266 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:54,094 JUST TAKE A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP AND OPEN EACH ONE AND PUT IT IN 267 00:19:54,094 --> 00:20:00,066 PUT IT IN. AND LET HER CATCH YOU DOING THAT 268 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,602 >> Jimmy: AND THEN IF SHE -- >> LET HER FIND YOU -- >> Jimmy: YEAH 269 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,772 >> WHEN SHE COMES HOME FROM WORK, SITTING THERE -- >> Jimmy: DOING THAT ALL DAY 270 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,841 LONG >> PUTTING THEM IN ONE AFTER THE OTHER. 271 00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:12,746 BUT YEAH, MAYBE AND YOU THE SHAMPOO GUY COULD HANG OUT >> Jimmy: OR - 272 00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:16,049 >> OR -- >> Both: SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND MOVE TO PHOENIX. 273 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,985 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR LIFE COACH 274 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,055 MY THANKS TO THE GREAT JERRY SEINFELD STICK AROUND 275 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,457 WE'LL BE TALKING WITH JERRY AFTER THE BREAK. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. 276 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:43,743 * * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS ONE 277 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:48,882 OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES HIS BEST SELLING BOOK, "IS THIS ANYTHING" IS FILLED WITH 45 278 00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:53,253 YEARS WORTH OF HIS STAND-UP MATERIAL IT IS UNBELIEVABLE 279 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:57,624 IT IS A MUST-OWN IT'S AVAILABLE NOW HERE HE IS, JERRY SEINFELD 280 00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:04,531 JERRY, THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR DOING THIS SHOW. AND DOING -- DOING LIFE COACH. 281 00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:07,567 I THINK IT HELPED A LOT OF PEOPLE LIFE COACH 282 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:12,605 >> I THINK I DID I CAN'T THINK OF ONE PERSON WHOSE LIFE WON'T BE BETTER 283 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,743 >> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE GIVING ADVICE TO PEOPLE >> OH, YEAH. 284 00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:23,550 I COULD GIVE ADVICE CONSTANTLY UNWANTED, UNNECESSARY, NOT ASKED FOR. 285 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,485 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER, I WENT TO YOU FOR ADVICE REALLY -- EARLY, 286 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:30,457 I MEAN, THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOU AT THE 287 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:36,763 IMPROV BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO FOLLOW YOU, BECAUSE YOU DESTROYED, YOU JUST CAME ON 288 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,465 AND SURPRISED EVERYBODY, IT WAS GREAT. AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE, 289 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:43,870 "WHOSE -- ARE THEY ON? I'M NOT GOING ON WHO IS JIMMY FALLON? 290 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,839 I GO, "THAT'S ME." AND THEN I WENT ON AND I END UP DOING AN 291 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:48,908 IMPRESSION OF YOU AND I KIND OF REBOUNDED. AND I DID -- I DID OKAY. 292 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,978 I DIDN'T CRUSH IT, I DIDN'T DO AMAZING. I DID OKAY 293 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:57,884 BUT THEN I GOT TO MEET YOU AT A PARTY. SOME BIG PARTY THAT I SHOULDN'T 294 00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,619 HAVE BEEN AT AND YOU WERE TALKING WITH -- IT WAS ADAM SANDLER, MAYBE, AT HIS 295 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:04,057 HOUSE. AND YOU WERE TALKING WITH ADAM - 296 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:06,426 >> MY POOL >> Jimmy: YEAH >> MY POOL 297 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:09,462 BY A POOL? >> Jimmy: YOU WERE BY A POOL WITH GARRY SHANDLING 298 00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:13,967 >> YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT >> Jimmy: YOU DO >> YEAH. 299 00:22:13,967 --> 00:22:16,236 I REMEMBER THAT. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS ME. I WAS -- 300 00:22:16,236 --> 00:22:18,338 >> ME, SANDLER, AND SHANDLING AND YOU CAME UP. >> Jimmy: YES, I WALKED IN 301 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:23,143 BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS, BUT I SAID I HAD AN IN, KIND OF, BECAUSE I HAD JUST DONE THIS 302 00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:26,546 AND I GO, HEY, AND I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS I PROBABLY DID NOT EVEN MAKE 303 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,816 EYE CONTACT WITH YOU AND I SAID, I FOLLOWED YOU AT THE IMPROV 304 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,985 AND YOU CRUSHED, IT BUT DID OKAY I ENDED UP DOING AN IMPRESSION 305 00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:36,256 OF YOU AND I GOT UP AND YOU GO, "THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU 306 00:22:36,256 --> 00:22:40,193 YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW PEOPLE." IT WAS KIND OF GREAT ADVICE. 307 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:44,698 BUT THAT'S GONNA BE PART OF THIS RIDE. >> WELL, BECAUSE THERE IS NO 308 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:48,835 ADVICE THAT'S THE -- THAT'S THE KIND OF WEIRD THING ABOUT STAND-UP 309 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:55,809 COMEDY IS LIKE, NOBODY CAN HELP YOU IT'S LIKE BEING A NEWBORN CALF 310 00:22:55,809 --> 00:22:58,778 THE COW CAN'T SAY, "HERE'S HOW YOU WALK." IT'S JUST LIKE -- FIGURE IT 311 00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:02,916 OUT, YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THAT WAS THE ADVICE 312 00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:04,784 I WENT UP TO RODNEY DANGERFIELD THE SAME WAY YOU CAME UP TO ME WHEN I WAS A KID AT CATCH 313 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:12,859 A RISING STAR. FIRST AVENUE AND 78th STREET AND I WENT UP TO HIM AND YOU 314 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:17,464 KNOW, HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS I WAS JUST IN THE BAR STANDING THERE. 315 00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:21,735 AND I GO, "CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO BE A A COMEDIAN?" 316 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:28,174 AND HE WENT, "YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT. OR YOU WON'T." 317 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,677 >> Jimmy: ISN'T THAT GREAT YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT >> YEAH, AND IT WAS GREAT. 318 00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:33,646 IT WAS GREAT >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU? THIS IS YOUR OFFICE? 319 00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:35,615 >> I'M IN MY OFFICE. THIS IS MY OFFICE IN NEW YORK WHERE I MEET WITH PEOPLE OR I 320 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:42,389 DO STUFF >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. I LIKE THE SUPERMAN POSTER 321 00:23:42,389 --> 00:23:44,691 >> YEAH. THAT'S MY SUPERMAN POSTER. THAT'S FROM THE '30s 322 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:49,796 I DON'T KNOW WHERE I GOT THAT. AND TO THE -- TO THE RIGHT OF THAT ,ARE THREE OF THE MOST 323 00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:53,099 IMPORTANT THINGS TO ME THE TOP THING IS A BLOW-UP OF A POSTAGE STAMP OF THE SET OF 324 00:23:53,099 --> 00:24:00,473 MY TV SERIES THEY PUT ON IT A POSTAGE STAMP AND I THOUGHT, THAT WAS A BIG 325 00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:04,778 DEAL I THOUGHT THAT WAS REALLY GREAT. 326 00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:07,313 THAT THEY PUT THIS -- AND THEY PUT THE NAME OF THE SHOW ON THERE. 327 00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:09,149 AND THEN BELOW THAT IS AN AWARD I RECEIVED FOR WRITING AN ARTICLE FOR A CAR MAGAZINE 328 00:24:09,149 --> 00:24:18,224 WHICH WAS MY ORIGINAL THING THAT I WANTED TO DO IF COMEDY DIDN'T WORK OUT. 329 00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:26,533 I WANTED TO WRITE FUNNY ARTICLES FOR CAR MAGAZINES SO I ONLY WROTE ONE IN 2003. 330 00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:28,635 AND I WON AN AWARD FOR IT, SO I'M VERY PROUD OF THAT AND THEN BELOW THAT IS ME ON 331 00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:30,270 STAGE IN THE EAST ROOM OF THE WHITE HOUSE PERFORMING FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA AND 332 00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:39,979 PAUL McCARTNEY WHEN HE WON THE GERSHWIN PRIZE >> Jimmy: GOSH 333 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:44,250 >> SO THAT WAS ON STAGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE. THAT'S IT. 334 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:48,288 THAT'S IT. JUST CLOSE THE BOOK AFTER THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH 335 00:24:48,288 --> 00:24:50,190 THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW, YEAH IF YOU'RE ON STAGE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. 336 00:24:50,190 --> 00:25:00,200 >> THAT MOMENT AND MY FIRST PITCH PERFECT STRIKE FROM JULY 5th, 2019. 337 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:18,785 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO SAY THE DATE. WE ALL REMEMBER. 338 00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:24,391 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> THOSE ARE THE TWO PINNACLE MOMENTS OF MY LIFE 339 00:25:24,391 --> 00:25:26,159 NOT COUNTING THE BIRTH OF THE KIDS, OF COURSE, WHICH WE ALWAYS HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, WE 340 00:25:26,159 --> 00:25:27,861 ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY THAT. >> Jimmy: I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT, EARLIER THIS WEEK YOUR 341 00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:30,430 WIFE JESSICA, PLEASE TELL HER I GIVE HER MY BEST >> I WILL. 342 00:25:30,430 --> 00:25:33,299 >> Jimmy: SHE POSTED AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO. I FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM. 343 00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:35,301 SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S FUNNY. SHE'S INTERESTING. 344 00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:37,404 >> SHE'S AMAZING ON INSTAGRAM. >> Jimmy: SHE'S AMAZING. LIKE PRODUCING A SHOW, IT'S 345 00:25:37,404 --> 00:25:38,905 JUST GREAT >> I KNOW, SHE IS REALLY INCREDIBLE 346 00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,540 >> Jimmy: THERE'S AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF YOU ENJOYING A NEW YORK SLICE OF PIZZA. 347 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:42,308 >> YES >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS 348 00:25:42,308 --> 00:25:46,913 THIS THIS IS -- I LOVE THIS I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 349 00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:48,915 THERE YOU GO 350 00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:52,852 YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT NOW HERE'S WHY I ENJOY IT. 351 00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:58,224 BECAUSE I LIKE -- I'VE HAD THAT PIZZA, BY THE WAY. >> THAT'S MAMA TU'S PIZZA ON 352 00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:07,167 BROADWAY AND 106th I LOVE THAT PIZZA. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT PIZZA 353 00:26:07,167 --> 00:26:09,035 TOO. >> I ALSO LOVE CAPIZZI ON 9th AND 38th, BUT THEY'RE CLOSED 354 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:10,770 RIGHT NOW. BUT THAT'S WHAT I CALL -- THERE IS A CERTAIN KIND OF HAPPY THAT 355 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:18,078 IS PIZZA HAPPY THAT ONLY PIZZA GIVES YOU THAT HAPPY, THAT FEELING. 356 00:26:18,078 --> 00:26:22,449 WHEN YOU'RE PIZZA HAPPY, THAT'S IT >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT. 357 00:26:22,449 --> 00:26:26,953 >> THAT'S ANOTHER, THAT'S IT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? 358 00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:30,890 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. THAT'S IT. CONGRATS AGAIN ON YOUR BOOK. 359 00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:33,493 I ACTUALLY - >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I HAVE TWO COPIES OF 360 00:26:33,493 --> 00:26:38,431 THE BOOK I LIKE TO HAVE IT WHEREVER, I JUST LIKE TO HAVE IT AROUND. 361 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:41,935 >> THOSE ARE ALL MY BITS ALL MY BITS THAT I - MY WHOLE LIFE. 362 00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:45,538 I PUT IT IN A BOOK IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS SUDDENLY, GOD FORBID 363 00:26:45,538 --> 00:26:50,243 THERE IT IS. THAT'S WHAT I DID. >> Jimmy: IN THE BOOK, YOU ALSO 364 00:26:50,243 --> 00:26:53,947 TALK ABOUT "THE TONIGHT SHOW" BEING IT FOR A STAND-UP COMEDIAN 365 00:26:53,947 --> 00:26:57,450 >> SURE. >> Jimmy: DID YOU CELEBRATE AFTER YOUR FIRST "TONIGHT 366 00:26:57,450 --> 00:27:02,355 SHOW"? DID IT CHANGE THINGS FOR YOU >> OH, YEAH, EVERY "TONIGHT 367 00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:07,727 SHOW." I DID MY FIRST ONE ON MAY 6TH, 1981 368 00:27:07,727 --> 00:27:09,829 I DON'T KNOW DID I ABOUT 25 OR 30 OF THEM THROUGHOUT THE '80s AND THEN 369 00:27:09,829 --> 00:27:16,136 THE '90s AND WELL, I'M STILL DOING THEM BUT -- 370 00:27:16,136 --> 00:27:18,538 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW, BUT I WAS IN L.A. IN THOSE DAYS, AND EVERY SHOT 371 00:27:18,538 --> 00:27:20,340 THAT YOU WOULD DO WAS LIKE, I'M EITHER GETTING SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUSINESS OR I'M GOING TO 372 00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:31,651 BE OUT OF THIS BUSINESS PRETTY SOON, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU DID YOU KNOW 373 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:37,657 THAT SIX MINUTES WAS YOUR OLYMPIC 100 METERS AND THE TENSION WAS 374 00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:44,431 TREMENDOUSLY HIGH. AND YOU KNOW, YOU PRACTICE YOUR STUFF FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS AND 375 00:27:44,431 --> 00:27:46,399 WEEKS. AND THEN YOU GO OUT THERE AND YOU WOULD BE ON TV IN FRONT OF 376 00:27:46,399 --> 00:27:54,207 AN AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW, AND IF IT WORKS, EVERYONE KNOWS AND IF IT DOESN'T, EVERYONE 377 00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:57,077 KNOWS. SO THE EXCITEMENT OF THAT, I FEEL VERY LUCKY THAT I FELT 378 00:27:57,077 --> 00:28:07,721 THAT NERVE THAT TREMENDOUS NERVOUSNESS AND ENERGY OF THOSE APPEARANCES. 379 00:28:07,721 --> 00:28:11,658 >> Jimmy: DID YOU GO OUT AFTERWARDS WAS THERE A SPOT YOU USED TO GO 380 00:28:11,658 --> 00:28:13,293 TO, LIKE A DINER OR SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE >> ALWAYS ITALIAN FOOD 381 00:28:13,293 --> 00:28:17,464 YOU KNOW, I'M AN ITALAPHILE. YEAH, AND THEN I WOULD HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRINK, AND TOO MUCH 382 00:28:17,464 --> 00:28:27,507 DESSERT, AND TOO MUCH COFFEE AND TOO MUCH EVERYTHING. AND JUST, YOU KNOW, AND I LEAVE 383 00:28:27,507 --> 00:28:32,112 THE SUIT ON, YOU PULL THE TIE DOWN, AND YOU JUST EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND DRINK. 384 00:28:32,112 --> 00:28:36,816 YEAH, THAT TO ME WAS WHAT IT'S ABOUT. >> Jimmy: YEAH 385 00:28:36,816 --> 00:28:41,388 THAT'S ANOTHER IT. >> THAT'S IT >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT. 386 00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:47,394 WELL, I'M GOING TO SAY FOR THIS INTERVIEW, THAT'S IT I'M ALWAYS HONORED WHEN YOU CAN 387 00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:52,899 COME BY AND YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE. YOU ALWAYS COME BY 388 00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:54,968 WE REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT, BUDDY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 389 00:28:54,968 --> 00:28:57,404 >> ALWAYS A PLEASURE, PAL. >> Jimmy: BEST TO THE FAM. PICK UP A COPY OF, "IS THIS 390 00:28:57,404 --> 00:29:02,642 ANYTHING" WHICH IS OUT NOW IT IS SO GOOD. TAYLOR KINNEY JOINS US AFTER 391 00:29:02,642 --> 00:29:05,278 THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME BACK. 392 00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:26,266 * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS CURRENTLY IN HIS NINTH SEASON 393 00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:28,034 OF "CHICAGO FIRE," WHICH AIRS WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M. ON NBC AND IS STREAMING ON 394 00:29:28,034 --> 00:29:37,410 PEACOCK, RIGHT NOW HERE IS TAYLOR KINNEY! TAYLOR 395 00:29:37,410 --> 00:29:40,447 >> HEY >> Jimmy: IT IS SO NICE TO SEE YOU. 396 00:29:40,447 --> 00:29:44,517 AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW I'VE ACTUALLY MET YOU BEFORE, 397 00:29:44,517 --> 00:29:47,387 BUT VERY BRIEFLY >> THIS WAS, I FORGET THE YEAR -- 2016, MAYBE SOMETHING 398 00:29:47,387 --> 00:29:53,059 LIKE THAT. BUT EVERY YEAR, I THINK I'VE DONE IT FOUR TIMES -- WE DO 399 00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:58,398 A POLAR PLUNGE, WHICH IS A A CHARITY EVENT FOR THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS IN CHICAGO. 400 00:29:58,398 --> 00:30:02,002 THEY WAIT FOR, YOU KNOW, IN AND AROUND THE COLDEST DAY OF THE YEAR, AND THEY PUSH SOME ICE 401 00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:09,109 AND DEBRIS UP FROM LAKE MICHIGAN YOU GET YOUR SWIM TRUNKS ON, 402 00:30:09,109 --> 00:30:13,146 AND YOU JUMP IN. AND IT'S GOTTEN BIGGER, THE CROWDS 403 00:30:13,146 --> 00:30:16,750 I REMEMBER YOU WERE THERE, VINCE VAUGHN WAS THERE, AND I REMEMBER YOU HAD A SUIT ON 404 00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:21,121 AND YOU WERE LIKE JUST ALL FULL SUIT AND I GO, "WELL, HOW'S HE GONNA 405 00:30:21,121 --> 00:30:23,223 GET OUT? THAT'S GOTTA BE, LIKE, TRIPLE AS COLD. 406 00:30:23,223 --> 00:30:29,662 >> Jimmy: LOOK, THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:31,431 >> THERE YOU GO. >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER SEEING YOU. 408 00:30:31,431 --> 00:30:33,400 MY HAIR WAS FROZEN IT WAS SPIKEY. >> OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING JUST 409 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,468 GOES - >> Jimmy: ICE. >> AND I'M SURE YOUR SUIT IS 410 00:30:35,468 --> 00:30:37,537 STILL PROBABLY STIFF AS A BOARD. >> Jimmy: IT'S THAWING OUT, 411 00:30:37,537 --> 00:30:39,506 YEAH IT'S HALFWAY FROM CHICAGO TO NEW YORK 412 00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:42,575 YEAH BUT, I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT FOUR TIMES 413 00:30:42,575 --> 00:30:47,047 GOOD FOR YOU THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S NOT A SURPRISE TO ME THAT 414 00:30:47,047 --> 00:30:51,651 YOU DO THESE THINGS. 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN GREAT SHAPE BUT ALSO, YOU LIKE A GOOD 415 00:30:51,651 --> 00:30:57,924 CHALLENGE. I KNOW YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS HAVE BIG GRILLING COMPETITIONS 416 00:30:57,924 --> 00:31:00,560 WITH EACH OTHER. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: HOW DID THAT START 417 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,162 >> I KIND OF GREW UP ON FISH STICKS, AND MEATLOAF, AND LEFTOVER FISH STICKS AND 418 00:31:02,162 --> 00:31:08,435 LEFTOVER CHICKEN AND SO IT WAS ALWAYS, I JUST EXPECTED THINGS TO TASTE LIKE 419 00:31:08,435 --> 00:31:12,072 THAT AND, I WAS WORKING A LOT, I STARTED, KIND OF, COMING HOME 420 00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:16,843 AND GRILLING ON MY OWN, LIKE, TOWARDS THE END OF HIGH SCHOOL, BEGINNING OF COLLEGE 421 00:31:16,843 --> 00:31:20,246 I WOULD GO, IF I WAS DOING CARPENTRY WORK OR ROOFING, I STARTED GRILLING, AND I STARTED 422 00:31:20,246 --> 00:31:27,087 WITH THESE MARINADES AND THEN, IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, MOM, LIKE, YOU ACTUALLY CAN 423 00:31:27,087 --> 00:31:31,591 MAKE CHICKEN THAT DOESN'T CRACK AND DRY. LIKE, THIS IS DELICIOUS, IT'S 424 00:31:31,591 --> 00:31:35,428 KIND OF GOOD." AND, SO, AS A JOKE WITH THAT, AND THEN, WE GOT MORE INTO 425 00:31:35,428 --> 00:31:39,699 IT -- STARTED WRITING DOWN RECIPES. MY BROTHERS GOT IN ON IT 426 00:31:39,699 --> 00:31:43,536 AND THEN IT BECAME A A COMPETITION OF SORTS, AND IT JUST, KIND OF, TOOK OFF. 427 00:31:43,536 --> 00:31:45,939 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT 428 00:31:45,939 --> 00:31:50,844 A RESTAURANT >> SO I OWN -- PART OWN A RESTAURANT AND THEATER, IN 429 00:31:50,844 --> 00:31:56,216 LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. IT'S CALLED ZOETROPOLIS AND LANCASTER DISTILLERIES 430 00:31:56,216 --> 00:31:58,385 THE THEATER -- IT'S A SMALL THEATER. WE DO INDEPENDENT FILM 431 00:31:58,385 --> 00:32:06,393 DOCUMENTARIES, LIVE MUSIC. IT'S NOT A BIG VENUE MAYBE 90-PERSON CAPACITY 432 00:32:06,393 --> 00:32:09,295 PRE-COVID. IT'S HELPING A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IN BETWEEN JOBS AND IN 433 00:32:09,295 --> 00:32:13,933 AND OUT OF WORK. >> Jimmy: PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL STUFF. 434 00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:16,202 YEAH >> IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE, LIKE, COME AND DO A LITTLE 435 00:32:16,202 --> 00:32:33,253 STAGE, A LITTLE SET ON THE STAGE THERE AT ZOETROPOLIS >> Jimmy: IF YOU HAVE AN OPEN 436 00:32:33,253 --> 00:32:36,122 MIC, I CAN'T HELP MYSELF I HAVE TO GO UP AND GRAB ON. ZOETROPOLIS? 437 00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:38,858 >> ZOETROPOLIS IS THE THEATER. LANCASTER DISTILLERIES IS THE RESTAURANT 438 00:32:38,858 --> 00:32:41,695 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WATCH ME I'M GOING TO COME FOR YOU. 439 00:32:41,695 --> 00:32:44,531 >> I LOVE IT >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY CONGRATS ON "CHICAGO FIRE. 440 00:32:44,531 --> 00:32:47,267 IT'S A GIANT HIT I MEAN, THIS IS SEASON NINE NOW? 441 00:32:47,267 --> 00:32:48,735 >> YES >> Jimmy: I MEAN, WHAT IS IT LIKE WHEN YOU FIRST GET THAT 442 00:32:48,735 --> 00:32:51,204 JOB AND YOU GO, OH, THIS COULD BE FUN LET'S SEE, LET'S SEE IF WE CAN 443 00:32:51,204 --> 00:32:54,107 DO THIS. CUT TO, WHAT IS IT TEN YEARS LATER NOW? 444 00:32:54,107 --> 00:32:58,745 YOU'RE STILL -- YOU'RE CRUSHING IT IT IS STILL A MAJOR HIT ON NBC 445 00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:03,316 >> IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS, I HAD DONE PILOTS BEFORE EITHER THEY GO, THEY DON'T GET 446 00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:05,085 PICKED UP. IT'S KIND OF, YOU KNOW, IT'S A A CRAP SHOOT 447 00:33:05,085 --> 00:33:07,387 YOU DON'T KNOW BUT, YOU KNOW, WITH DICK WOLF BEING A PART OF THIS, AND LAW 448 00:33:07,387 --> 00:33:12,192 AND ORDER, I SAID, "WELL, THIS COULD HAVE SOME LEGS." I THINK IT WAS ONE OF OUR 449 00:33:12,192 --> 00:33:20,066 PRODUCERS SAYING, A SHOW RUNNER SAID, "HEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO GETTING A PLACE. 450 00:33:20,066 --> 00:33:22,669 NOT BUYING BUT JUST, HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO -- GET OUT OF THE HOTEL. 451 00:33:22,669 --> 00:33:25,839 AND, IT'S BEEN NINE YEARS NOW, SO >> Jimmy: WOW! 452 00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:27,607 >> IT'S THE CLOSEST THING AS A A 9:00 TO 5:00 THAT I THINK THAT I'LL EXPERIENCE IN THIS 453 00:33:27,607 --> 00:33:33,713 LINE OF WORK >> Jimmy: I'M A FAN OF THE SHOW, AND I HAVE TO ASK, 454 00:33:33,713 --> 00:33:38,184 BECAUSE I USED TO LIVE BY A FIRE STATION WHEN I WAS FIRST ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. 455 00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:45,358 AND THEY ARE A VERY HONEST BUNCH. DO YOU HEAR FROM REAL 456 00:33:45,358 --> 00:33:48,695 FIREFIGHTERS WHO WATCH AND GO LIKE, "WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" 457 00:33:48,695 --> 00:33:53,299 >> FOR THE MOST PART, IT WAS POSITIVE RESPONSES BUT I THINK IN THE FIRST COUPLE 458 00:33:53,299 --> 00:33:58,004 EPISODES, THEY WERE LIKE, "WELL, YOU GUYS -- YOU GOT THIS HOSE 459 00:33:58,004 --> 00:34:01,174 YOU SLID DOWN THIS HOSE. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK UP? 460 00:34:01,174 --> 00:34:05,311 WE DON'T DO THAT WHAT IS THAT?" >> Jimmy: IT'S A TV SHOW 461 00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:09,482 IT'S A TELEVISION SHOW WE'RE NOT REALLY FIREFIGHTERS. >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 462 00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,852 I WAS LIKE, "THERE'S A LITTLE CREATIVE LICENSE." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU 463 00:34:12,852 --> 00:34:14,821 TALKING ABOUT? NO, NO." >> Jimmy: TAYLOR, THANKS SO 464 00:34:14,821 --> 00:34:19,059 MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW, MAN. I'M A BIG FAN. 465 00:34:19,059 --> 00:34:21,928 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S TAYLOR KINNEY IN "CHICAGO FIRE. 466 00:34:21,928 --> 00:34:31,404 HERE'S TAYLOR KINNEY IN "CHICAGO FIRE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 467 00:34:32,706 --> 00:34:34,274 >> JUST WAITING FOR SOME ASPIRIN TO KICK IN 468 00:34:34,274 --> 00:34:36,176 WHAT'S UP? >> DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE DELIVERY STELLA ORDERED FOR 469 00:34:36,176 --> 00:34:38,111 THE APARTMENT? >> DELIVERY OF WHAT? >> THAT'S THE THING. 470 00:34:38,111 --> 00:34:40,080 SHE WOULDN'T SAY >> I DON'T DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE 471 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,649 SHE KNOWS THAT >> WELL, IT'S HER HOME, TOO, SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO PUT HER 472 00:34:42,649 --> 00:34:50,290 STAMP ON THE PLACE >> PROBABLY. >> HEY, YOU AND KIDD, IF IT'S 473 00:34:50,290 --> 00:34:56,196 TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON AND YOU GUYS NEED THE LOFT YOURSELVES, JUST SAY THE WORD. 474 00:34:56,196 --> 00:35:00,033 I PROMISE. I'M ALL GOOD >> DIDN'T I JUST SAY I DON'T 475 00:35:00,033 --> 00:35:03,370 DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE? >> Jimmy: TAYLOR KINNEY. "CHICAGO FIRE" AIRS WEDNESDAYS 476 00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:08,708 AT 9:00 P.M. ON NBC. AND EVERY SEASON IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON PEACOCK 477 00:35:08,708 --> 00:35:12,445 TAYLOR, THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING ON THE SHOW. I APPRECIATE IT. 478 00:35:12,445 --> 00:35:15,281 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. 479 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:33,633 COME ON BACK * >> Jimmy: MAKING HIS LATE NIGHT 480 00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:39,539 DEBUT, PERFORMING "ROPA CARA" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "MIS MANOS. HERE'S CAMILO. 481 00:35:39,539 --> 00:35:40,373 FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "MIS MANOS. HERE'S CAMILO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 482 00:35:42,175 --> 00:35:46,646 * [ PHONE RINGING 483 00:35:46,646 --> 00:36:19,846 * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE * 484 00:36:19,846 --> 00:37:02,455 * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE * 485 00:37:02,455 --> 00:37:42,929 * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE * 486 00:37:42,929 --> 00:38:00,013 [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE * * 487 00:38:02,315 --> 00:38:06,853 * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE 488 00:38:06,853 --> 00:38:39,386 * * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE 489 00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:02,909 >> Jimmy: IT'S SAINT PATRICK'S DAY EVERYBODY. AND TO DO SAINT PATRICK'S DAY 490 00:39:02,909 --> 00:39:06,079 RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DRINK A A GUINNESS BUT POURING A GUINNESS 491 00:39:06,079 --> 00:39:08,815 CORRECTLY CAN BE PRETTY TRICKY, SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN IF WE PUT OUR BEER POURING TO THE 492 00:39:08,815 --> 00:39:11,751 TEST TARIQ AND I WILL BOTH POUR GUINNESS INTO A GLASS AND 493 00:39:11,751 --> 00:39:16,690 WHOEVER'S POUR IS BEST WINS. QUESTLOVE WILL JUDGE TARIQ, ARE YOUR READY FOR THIS 494 00:39:16,690 --> 00:39:21,828 >> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: ALRIGHT, LET'S DO IT, GO 495 00:39:21,828 --> 00:39:39,079 * * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 496 00:39:39,079 --> 00:39:53,526 * [ LAUGHTER ] * 497 00:39:53,526 --> 00:40:03,036 * * ALRIGHT, PERFECT 498 00:40:03,036 --> 00:40:07,941 QUESTLOVE, FINAL ANSWER. WHO WINS QUICKLY, ME OR TARIQ 499 00:40:07,941 --> 00:40:12,479 >> Questlove: IS TARIQ DONE YET? >> Jimmy: WE DON'T KNOW. 500 00:40:12,479 --> 00:40:16,649 >> Questlove: I LOVE BOTH MY FRIEND'S POURING OR NO >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. 501 00:40:16,649 --> 00:40:18,718 >> Questlove: TARIQ, I'M SORRY JIMMY, YOU WON * 502 00:40:18,718 --> 00:40:22,422 [ DING ] >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR? 503 00:40:22,422 --> 00:40:27,360 MY THANKS TO JERRY SEINFELD, TAYLOR KINNEY, CAMILO AND THE ROOTS OF COURSE. 504 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,630 THANK YOU, TARIQ THANKS FOR WATCHING EVERYBODY. STAY SAFE. 505 00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:34,467 WEAR A MASK. HAVE A HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY. 506 00:40:34,467 --> 00:40:36,636 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 507 00:40:36,636 --> 00:40:42,308 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *