>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JULIE ANDREWS,
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN COMEDIAN PREACHER LAWSON AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1678 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. I LOVE YOU
WELCOME. WELCOME, EVERYBODY ENJOY YOURSELF
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. YOU'RE WATCHING.
THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS
HERE THE FDA JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE BANNING JUUL
E-CIGARETTES, AND NOW VAPERS ARE RUSHING TO HOARD THEM. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH WELL, THEY'RE RUSHING BUT STOPPING EVERY FEW FEET TO
CATCH THEIR BREATH [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO JUDGE,
BUT IF THE TERMS VAPER AND HOARDER APPLY TO YOU, MAYBE IT'S TIME TO DO SOME
REEVALUATING I'M JUST SAYING. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEP. VAPORS ARE GOING NUTS TRYING TO FIND JUULS
FOR YOUR GOTH COUSIN, THIS IS BASICALLY MARCH 2020 ALL OVER AGAIN.
IT'S LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ] SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS.
IT'S A BIG MOVIE WEEKEND "ELVIS" IS OUT THIS WEEKEND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ANOTHER MOVIE CALLED "THE BLACK PHONE" JUST HIT THEATERS AND IT IS A HORROR THRILLER
ABOUT A PSYCHOPATH KNOWN AS "THE GRABBER." >> Steve: HM
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ACTUALLY, THE GRABBER SOUNDS LIKE A PRODUCT YOUR
GRANDMA WOULD BUY ON QVC YOU KNOW LIKE, "OH, I THINK I NEED THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THE GRABBER. IT'S THE TERRIFYING TALE OF
YOUR FRIEND WHO EATS FRENCH FRIES OFF YOUR PLATE [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE -- "I DON'T LIKE -- I REALLY -- WELL, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY,
NASAL SWABS ARE STILL THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO TEST FOR COVID.
YEP, WHILE THE WORST WAY IS TO BREATH ON YOUR FRIEND'S FACE AND GO, "DOES THIS SMELL LIKE
COVID TO YOU?" [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS
THE COMPANY THAT MAKES OREOS IS BUYING CLIF BAR FOR ALMOST $3 BILLION
[ AUDIENCE OOHS THEY OFFERED TO BUY NATURE VALLEY BARS, BUT THE DEAL
COMPLETELY FELL APART. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
CRUMBLE IT >> Jimmy: HEY, I SAW THAT IN OHIO A SEMITRUCK HAULING CHEESE
CAUGHT ON FIRE LOOK AT THAT LUCKILY FIVE MINUTES LATER A
A WINE TRUCK TIPPED OVER, AND IT TURNED INTO A DELIGHTFUL LITTLE AFTERNOON
[ LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF WINE, I READ THAT DUE TO INFLATION, WINE POURS AT
RESTAURANTS ARE ACTUALLY GETTING SMALLER. [ AUDIENCE BOOS
YOU CAN TELL THERE'S LESS WINE NOW WHEN YOU TURN ON "REAL HOUSEWIVES," THEY'RE DISCUSSING
WHETHER UKRAINE SHOULD JOIN NATO AND YOU GO, "HEY, THAT'S -
COME ON. [ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, I HEARD THE FDA ACTUALLY
APPROVED A NEW HAIR LOSS DRUG THAT REGROWS HAIR. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS, TARIQ
>> Tariq: YEAH, YEAH, I TOOK IT, AND IT TOTALLY WORKED. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT DID >> Tariq: YES. LOOK
I GREW THIS LONG, LUSCIOUS RAT TAIL DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT
[ CHEERS ] [ EERIE MUSIC [ POURING COFFEE ]
[ LAUGHTER ] [ TURNING TO STONE ] [ STONE BREAKS ]
[ APPLAUSE ] * HEY MOE HEY MOE HEY MOE HEY MO
WELL NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK * * NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK *
[ LIGHTNING STRIKE ] >> Tariq: LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: DEAL >> Steve: WERE THEY DANCING.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? >> Steve: WHAT WERE THEY DOING THREE WRITERS WERE DANCING BY
CUE CARDS. >> Jimmy: THEY WERE DANCING TO "THE CURLY SHUFFLE" BY JUMP 'N
THE SADDLE [ LAUGHTER ] * WHEN ME AND MY FRIEND
GO OUT ON THE TOWN WE CAN'T SIT STILL AND WE CAN'T SIT DOWN *
* WE DON'T LIKE TO FIGH AND WE DON'T LIKE TO SCUFFL
BUT WE DANCE ALL NIGHT * * DOING THE CURLY SHUFFLE HEY MOE HEY MO
WELL NYUCK NYUCK * * NYUCK NYUCK
NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK NYUC LA DEE LA DEEE *
>> Steve: OKAY >> Jimmy: HOW DO I KNOW EVERY SINGLE WORD?
>> Steve: HOW DO WE KNOW THAT? THE COMEDY GRAMMAR >> Jimmy: THAT WAS A GREAT JAM
RIGHT THERE, MAN YEAH >> Steve: I'M GLAD YOU
EXPLAINED IT >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
>> Steve: I COULDN'T - >> Jimmy: SO, TARIQ SHOWED HIS RAT TAIL
>> Steve: RIGHT. YEAH AND THEN -
>> Jimmy: EVERYONE HAD SUCH A FREAKOUT THAT THE WRITERS STARTED -- THEY STARTED
DRINKING AND DANCING TO "THE CURLY SHUFFLE. >> Steve: BY THE CUE CARDS
>> Jimmy: BY THE CUE CARDS >> Steve: IT WAS SO CRAZY. TARIQ'S RAT TAIL WAS SO
CRAZY -- >> Jimmy: UH-HUH >> Steve: THAT THEY WENT -- I
TURNED INTO STONE AND DIED >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: YOU BURNED YOUR HAND
SEVERELY WITH COFFEE >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: AND THEY STARTED
HAVING A PARTY >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT WAS TOTALLY --
>> Steve: DRINKING IT SOUNDED LIKE THEY LOVED IT. THEY'RE DANCING.
>> Jimmy: THEY HAD A GREAT TIME IT SPARKED SOMETHING
WE MIGHT TAKE THAT PART OUT. >> Steve: NO, NO, NO COME ON.
[ AUDIENCE BOOS >> Jimmy: NO, NOT THE WHOLE THING, JUST THE GUYS DANCING
>> NO! >> Steve: NO [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU GUYS DIDN'T EVEN LAUGH >> Steve: THEY LOVED IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU GUYS HATED IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NO, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT
>> Questlove: STAYS IN THE PICTURE. IT STAYS IN THE PICTURE.
>> Steve: IT STAYS IN THE PICTURE. >> Jimmy: IT STAYS IN THE
PICTURE. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO SOME OTHER JOKES THAT WON'T BE AS
FUNNY AS THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] HEY GUYS, THIS IS GOING VIRAL.
A WOMAN ON TIKTOK SAID THAT SHE USES THE WASHING MACHINE TO CLEAN HER VEGETABLES
[ AUDIENCE OOHS HER FAMILY ONLY GOT WORRIED WHEN SHE STARTED FOLDING HER
VEGETABLES AND PUTTING THEM IN THE DRESSER. [ LAUGHTER ]
GUYS, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW, BUT INSTEAD OF ME JUST TELLING
YOU ALL ABOUT IT, I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO JUST GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO DECIDE WHAT WE
TALK ABOUT THAT'S RIGHT IT'S TIME FOR "YOU PICK THE
JOKES. HERE WE GO
HA-HA-HA
YOU PICK THE JOKES * >> Jimmy: SO HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU TWO NEWS STORIES, AND THEN YOU GUYS GET TO PICK WHICH ONE WE TALK
ABOUT. OKAY HERE WE GO
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT STORY NUMBER ONE
CONGRESS TO GIVE AMERICANS A
A TAX BREAK AT THE PUMP. >> Jimmy: OKAY, HERE'S STORY NUMBER TWO
>> SOME RESIDENTS OF A TAMPA APARTMENT COMPLEX HAD A VERY UNUSUAL EXPERIENCE JUST A SHORT
WHILE AGO. WITNESSES SAY A NAKED MAN PULLED THE FIRE ALARM, THEN
SPRAYED RESIDENTS WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AS THEY EXITED THE BUILDING
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT
>> Steve: NYUCK, NYUCK, NYUCK, NYUCK. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHICH STORY DO YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT? ONE OR TWO >> Audience: TWO
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. GOOD CHOICE. OKAY
THAT'S RIGHT A NAKED GUY IN TAMPA PULLED THE FIRE ALARM, THEN SPRAYED PEOPLE
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER WHEN THEY CAME OUT. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO I GUESS EVEN THOUGH HE RETIRED, ROB GRONKOWSKI IS STILL LIVING IN TAMPA.
THAT'S WHERE HE IS [ RIM SHOT ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S DO ANOTHER PAIR OF STORIES. ONCE AGAIN, YOU GUYS GET TO
PICK HERE'S STORY NUMBER ONE.
TOOK AGGRESSIVE ACTION TO
TACKLE THE FASTEST INFLATION IN FOUR DECADES >> Jimmy: GOT IT
NOW, HERE'S STORY NUMBER TWO
>> MILK, EGGS, AND THIS? TESIA BRITT TELLS THE PROBLEM
SOLVERS WHEN SHE OPENED HER BAG OF DELIVERED GROCERIES FROM WALMART, SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE
A CRACK PIPE WAS PACKED INSIDE, RIGHT NEXT TO THE PINEAPPLE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHICH STORY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT NUMBER ONE OR NUMBER TWO
>> Audience: TWO >> Jimmy: GREAT CHOICE THAT'S RIGHT
A WOMAN'S WALMART DELIVERY INCLUDED A CRACK PIPE. [ LAUGHTER ]
NORMALLY IF YOU WANT CRACK AT WALMART, YOU JUST RAISE YOUR EYEBROWS AT THE CASHIER.
[ RIM SHOT ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT.
LET'S DO ONE LAST BATCH. IT'S YOUR CHOICE HERE'S STORY NUMBER ONE.
SHOWING PRESIDENT BIDEN'S JOB APPROVAL RATING HAS DROPPED FOR A FOURTH STRAIGHT WEEK
>> Jimmy: YEAH, AND HERE'S STORY NUMBER TWO
SOMETHING A LITTLE FISHY AFTER
CATCHING A CATFISH ON THE OHIO RIVER. WHEN HOOP CUT OPEN THE FISH, HE
FOUND A FOAM BALL AND AN ADULT TOY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: STORY NUMBER TWO >> Audience: YES >> Jimmy: GREAT CHOICE
THAT'S RIGHT A MAN FOUND A SEX TOY IN A A CATFISH.
IT WAS THE FIRST FISHING STORY WHERE NOBODY WANTED TO HEAR HOW BIG IT WAS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE M* >> Steve: CATFISH.
HE WAS REALLY CATFISHED. >> Jimmy: YOU WON'T BELIEVE -- YEAH, HE GOT CATFISHED
YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, FINALLY, IT IS TIME, OF
COURSE, TO COUNT DOWN THE HOTTEST SONGS AT THE TOP OF THE CHARTS RIGHT NOW
HERE WE GO WE DO THIS EVERY WEEK. NUMBER THREE, IT'S "WAIT FOR U"
BY FUTURE, FEATURING DRAKE AND TEMS THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NUMBER TWO, WE HAVE "FIRST CLASS" BY JACK HARLOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND HOLDING STEADY AT NUMBER ONE, IT'S "AS IT WAS" BY
HARRY STYLES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THOSE ARE THE TOP THREE SONGS.
NOW IT'S TIME TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE LOWEST CHARTED SONGS THIS WEEK
THIS IS "BOTTOM OF THE CHARTS. HERE WE GO
* BOTTOM OF THE CHART
BOTTOM OF THE CHARTS * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. FIRST UP, THIS IS AT NUMBER 95,
WE'VE GOT "ABOUT DAMN TIME" BY ELVIS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NOW, I GUESS ELVIS DID HIS OWN VERSION OF THE POPULAR LIZZO SONG BACK IN THE -
>> Steve: IN THE '70s? >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? >> Steve: WHEN DID HE DO IT?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW THE MOVIE'S THIS OUT AND SO, A LOT OF UNRELEASED
STUFF IS COMING OUT. >> Steve: SO ELVIS PRESLEY WOW.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS ELVIS PRESLEY DOING -- YEAH, LIZZO "ABOUT DAMN TIME.
>> Steve: ALL RIGHT. * * IN A MINUTE I'M
NEED A SENTIMENTAL MAN OR WOMAN TO PUMP ME UP FEELING FUSSY WALKIN' *
* IN MY BALENCI-USSIE TRYNA BRING OU THE FABULOUS *
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S WHY HE'S THE KING
>> Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: NEXT UP, COMING IN AT 96, WE'VE GOT "RUNNING UP THAT HILL" BY KATE BUSH WHILE
RUNNING UP A HILL. >> Steve: WOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SO, IT'S KATE BUSH, THE SONG THAT IS BACK IN THE CHARTS BECAUSE OF "STRANGER
THINGS." AND THIS IS A NEW VERSION SHE RECORDED WHILE RUNNING UP AN
ACTUAL HILL. >> Steve: WOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S GIVE IT A LISTEN * AND IF I ONLY COULD*
[ HEAVY BREATHING * I'D MAKE DEAL WITH GOD *
[ HEAVY BREATHING * GET HIM T SWAP OUR PLACES *
>> GOD, THIS HILL IS SO BIG. * RUNNING UP THAT ROA BE RUNNING UP THAT HILL *
>> I'M GONNA HURL. >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD, GOOD THAT'S GOOD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STAY HYDRATED. STAY HYDRATED.
UP NEXT, AT NUMBER 97 IS "DRAKE LISTS DRAKE'S CAKES. DRAKE JUST CAME OUT WITH A NEW
ALBUM. BUT THIS SONG IS NOT ON IT I GUESS, IT'S JUST DRAKE
LISTING VARIOUS DESSERT CAKES FROM THE BRAND, DRAKE'S. >> Steve: WOW.
I LOVE IT. >> Jimmy: LET'S SEE WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE.
* DEVIL DOG AND FUNNY BONE YANKEE DOODLES
AND RING DINGS * * YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY RING DIN
ON M STILL YOU USED TO * * CALL ME O
MY RING DING YOU USED TO CALL ME ON M YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY *
* RING DING * * >> Jimmy: OKAY
STOP, STOP, STOP USED TO CALL ME ON THE RING DING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: CALL ME ON MY RING DING
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT AT NUMBER 98, OF COURSE, IS
"JOLENE" BY BLINK-182. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] NOW I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL
FAMILIAR WITH THE CLASSIC SONG "JOLENE" BY DOLLY PARTON [ CHEERS ]
WELL THIS LESSER KNOWN VERSION IS FROM THE POP-PUNK SUPER BAND, BLINK-182.
AND THEY HAD A DIFFERENT TAKE. HERE, TAKE A LISTEN TO THIS. * JOLENE JOLENE
JOLENE JOLEN BEGGING YO TO TAKE MY MAN *
* TO TAKE MY MA BECAUSE YOU CA JOLENE *
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD. YEAH, WE'RE GOOD
THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP AT NUMBER 99 IS THE
"20th CENTURY FOX THEME" BY THE GRUNT BROTHERS NOW, I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT
THIS ONE IS, BUT I JUST GOT WORD - >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: -- THAT THE GRUNT BROTHERS ARE HERE, TONIGHT, IN THE BUILDING
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: AND THEY'RE ABLE --
THEY'RE ABLE TO PERFORM IT LIVE >> Steve: OH, MY GOD
>> Jimmy: THIS IS EXCITING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE TO PERFORM THE "20th CENTURY FOX
THEME" PLEASE WELCOME THE GRUNT BROTHERS
*
[ CLEARING THROAT [ SINGING WHILE GRUNTING ] *
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD
>> Jimmy: I HAVE NO -- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WAS.
>> Steve: LUCKILY, THEY TOLD YOU THEY WERE HERE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY TOLD ME -
>> Steve: YEAH, YOU GOT YOUR EARPIECE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE GRUNTS
BROTHERS ARE HERE. THEY GRUNT WHEN THEY RUN ON THE WAY OUT,
THEY'RE -- >> Steve: THEY GRUNT EVERYWHERE
[ GRUNTING ] [ LAUGHTER ] DON'T GO TO THE RESTROOM
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE GOING TO RUN UP THE HILL. YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] FINALLY, COMING IN AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE CHART, WE HAVE
"HOW YOU REMIND ME (EXTENDED ADDITION)" BY NICKELBACK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NOW THIS IS NEVER BEFORE RELEASED EXTENDED VERSION OF NICKELBACK'S HIT SONG "HOW YOU
REMIND ME. APPARENTLY THE INTRO IS A LOT LONGER
LET'S TAKE A LISTEN. * NEVER MADE IT AS A WISE MA
COULDN'T CUT I AS A POOR MAN * * STEALING * DIDN'T MAKE I
AS A DENTIST COULD NEVER BE A PARALEGAL *
* NEVER TRIED T BE A PLUMBER COULDN'T CUT IT AS A TAX
CONSULTANT * * HAVEN'T NEVER BEEN A JANITOR
COULDN'T HACK IT A A SCHOOL LIBRARIAN * >> Jimmy: OKAY
THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S ALL THAT IS ALL FOR "BOTTOM OF THE
CHARTS." WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW JULIE ANDREWS IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN IS ON THE SHOW
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE GOT GREAT STAND-UP COMEDY FROM PREACHER LAWSON.
STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "THANK YOU NOTES," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> AREN'T THOSE MINIONS ADORABLE DON'T YOU LOVE THEM?
>> Jimmy: HOW DO THEY DO IT? IT'S SO GENIUS
EVERYBODY. WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
SHE'S REPRISING HER ROLE AS GRU'S MOTHER IN "MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU," WHICH IS IN
THEATERS JULY 1st. JULIE ANDREWS IS HERE, THIS EVENING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: PLUS, HE STARS AS
DARTH VADER IN THE "STAR WARS" SERIES "OBI- WAN KENOBI" ON DISNEY PLUS.
MY MAN, HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN IS HERE, TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE HAVE VERY FUNNY STAND-UP FROM PREACHER LAWSON ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUYS, TODAY IS FRIDAY, AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP
WITH SOME PERSONAL STUFF I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME EMAILS, AND, OF COURSE, I SEND
OUT "THANK YOU NOTES." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I WAS JUST RUNNING A BIT
BEHIND, SO I'D LIKE TO WRITE OUT SOME RIGHT NOW JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU
NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
FANTASTIC. >> Steve: HE'S HUMMING "THE CURLY SHUFFLE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE KEYS ANYMORE
>> Steve: YEAH, HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE KNOWS THE --
HE KNOWS THE - >> Steve: I DON'T THINK HE'S PLAYING IT
>> Jimmy: FINALLY LEARNED THE SONG >> Steve: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, BEYONCE'S
NEW SONG, "BREAK MY SOUL," OR AS ADELE PUT IT, "A SONG THAT BREAKS YOUR SOUL, STAY IN YOUR
LANE, GIRL." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ]
* THANK YOU, HOSTESS' NEW CRYPTO CURRENCY THEMED SNACK CAKE,
$TWINKCOIN - [ LAUGHTER ] -- FOR TELLING THE WORLD YOU
KNOW WHAT CRYPTO IS, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT URBAN DICTIONARY IS.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: IT WAS TWO $TWINKCOIN
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, SENDING
YOUR KIDS TO SUMMER CAMP, FOR BASICALLY SAYING, "HERE, THEY'RE YOUR PROBLEM NOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "DO WHATEVER." I LIKE THIS ONE.
>> Steve: YOU LIKE THIS ONE? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, TRUCKER HATS, FOR JUST BEING REGULAR HATS WITH THE SCREENED IN BACK
PORCH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE *
THANK YOU, COVID VACCINES FOR KIDS UNDER 5, FOR FINALLY MAKING IT OKAY TO COUGH ON A
A BABY AGAIN [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE *
THANK YOU, LIGHT BULBS, FOR BEING A VERY OLD IDEA THAT GETS TO BE THE SYMBOL OF ALL NEW
IDEAS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: I DRAW
THAT'S DEEP. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, GOING TO
THE BEACH, FOR BEING 15 MINUTES OF FUN FOLLOWED BY SIX WEEKS OF FINDING LOOSE PATCHES OF SAND
ON YOUR BODY YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, GOSH STILL?
[ APPLAUSE ] * THANK YOU, WATER SLIDES, FOR
LETTING ME KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE FLUSHED. THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY
THOSE ARE "THANK YOU NOTES." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JULIE ANDREWS, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> IT'S DEFINITELY THE BEST
PART, IS JUST SEEING PEOPLE'S REACTION, YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY SEE VADER.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND YOU -- YOU HAVE, LIKE, YOU KNOW -
>> Jimmy: IS IT EASY TO SEE OUT OF THOSE EYE THINGS? >> NO.
I MEAN, IT'S VERY LIMITED VISIBILITY BUT WHEN SOMEONE DOES, SORT OF,
COME ACROSS YOUR FIELD OF VISION - >> Jimmy: THEY'RE FRIGHTENED
>>> OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN OSCAR, EMMY AND GRAMMY-WINNING LEGEND WHO'S REPRISING HER ROLE
AS GRU'S MOTHER IN "MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU" WHICH IS THEATERS JULY 1st.
PLEASE WELCOME THE ONE AND ONLY, JULIE ANDREWS.
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT FEEL GOOD TO GET
A STANDING OVATION >> IT SURE DOES. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK >> THANK YOU
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I LOVE HAVING YOU ON YOU'RE A FRIEND TO "THE TONIGHT
SHOW." YOU'VE BEEN ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW" WITH JACK PAR.
>> YES >> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN ON WITH JOHNNY CARSON, JAY LENO, AND
NOW, ME. >> AND YOU >> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY THAT
YOU'RE HERE. >> THANK YOU THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: OH, PLEASE I'M HONORED. I WANT TO --
YOU WERE GIVEN THE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD BY THE AMERICAN FILM INSTITUTE.
>> I WAS, LAST WEEK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT'S QUITE AN HONOR.
>> IT'S A HUGE HONOR, AND I WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. AND THEY SPOILED ME.
AND SO MANY PEOPLE CAME THAT NIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND THEN YOU'RE
SPEECH WAS SO TOUCHING, AND SO COOL >> OH, THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T -- IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS INTERESTING.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT ABOUT YOU YOU WANTED TO THANK THE CREW >> WELL, I ACTUALLY SAID THAT
NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGES, EXCEPT IN THE CREDITS THAT RUN BY FAR TOO FAST, AS WE WELL KNOW,
ESPECIALLY ON TV AND I WISH SOMETHING COULD BE DONE ABOUT THAT.
BUT I JUST WANTED TO ACKNOWLEDGE EVERYBODY IN THE STUDIO, AND THERE ARE HUNDREDS
OF PEOPLE BEHIND THE CAMERA, AND NOBODY EVER RECOGNIZES THEM
SO, I WANTED TO DO THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THERE'S SO MANY
PEOPLE THAT MAKE THE FILM, AND MAKE EVERYONE LOOK GOOD. YOU SAID THAT THERE WAS A SET
DESIGNER, OR PAINTER MAYBE >> IT STARTED -- IT'S A TRUE STORY, I WAS DRIVING HOME ONE
DAY OFF THE LOT AT 20th CENTURY FOX. AND I WAS FINISHING A LONG DAY
OF SHOOTING ON "THE SOUND OF MUSIC. AND I PASSED A GENTLEMAN AS I
GOT TO THE BACK GATE OF THE LOT, WHICH WAS A QUICK WAY HOME FOR ME
I PASSED A GENTLEMAN WHO WAS PAINTING IN A SORT OF OPEN SHED
AND HE SMILED AT ME AS I WAITED FOR THE GATE TO OPEN AT THE BACK
AND I ROLLED DOWN MY WINDOW AND SAID, "YOU'RE WORKING A BIT LATE TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU?"
AND HE CAME OVER AND TALKED TO ME AND HE TOLD ME HOW PROUD HE WAS, AND HOW LONG HE'D BEEN
WORKING AT THE STUDIO. AND HE SAID, ALMOST BOASTING, "YOU KNOW I'VE PAINTED SETS FOR
MARILYN MONROE, AND JACK LEMON, AND SHIRLEY McCLAIN. AND I SUDDENLY THOUGHT, "MY
GOD," THAT'S WHAT MADE ME WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE EVERYBODY BECAUSE HE WAS SO THRILLED TO
BE PART OF FILM. AND I DON'T THINK ANYBODY KNEW HE WAS THERE
>> Jimmy: YEAH. AND IN THIS BUSINESS IT'S JUST GREAT TO ACKNOWLEDGE EVERYBODY.
>> IT TAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE. IT'S HERE, EVERYWHERE, ABOUT COLLABORATION.
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU DID THIS, AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CEREMONY, YOU FLEW TO YOUR DAUGHTER'S
HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION >> YES, THE NEXT DAY [ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: YOU NAILED IT, AND SHE'S GOING TO STUDY THEATER AND FILM
>> YEP, SHE'S GOING TO SARAH LAWRENCE AND SHE'S GOING TO STUDY -
>> Jimmy: THEATER AND FILM, YEAH >> THEATER AND FILM AND
LITERATURE, AND ALL THE REST >> Jimmy: DO YOU GIVE HER ADVICE
>> A LITTLE BIT, BUT SHE'S GOT SOME KIND OF SAVVY THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE -- WELL, I DO KNOW
WHERE IT COMES FROM, I GUESS [ LAUGHTER ] BUT SHE SEEMS TO KNOW A LOT
ALREADY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SHE'S VERY, VERY SMART, AND
VERY TALENTED. >> Jimmy: DO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN REALIZE THEIR GRANDMOTHER IS
MARY POPPINS >> WELL, NOW THEY DO, I THINK. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN MY GRANDSON, THAT LOVELY YOUNG GIRL'S BROTHER WAS VERY YOUNG, HE WAS ABOUT FOUR I
GUESS. AND THEY WERE SHOWING "MARY POPPINS" AT A BIRTHDAY
PARTY THAT HE WENT TO. AND WHEN HIS MOTHER CAME TO PICK HIM UP, HE WAS STANDING
THIS CLOSE TO THE TELEVISION, LOOKING TERRIBLY PUZZLED AND MY DAUGHTER BENT DOWN, AND
SAID, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT LADY IS? AND HE WENT, "UH-UH.
AND SHE SAID, "IS IT MAYBE SOMEBODY THAT WE KNOW VERY WELL?"
AND HE SAID, "UH-U." AND SHE SAID, "IS IT MAYBE GRANNY JEWELS?
AND HE WENT, "OH, YES. [ LAUGHTER ] HE WAS THRILLED.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: ISN'T THAT GREAT >> THE BEST PART, WAS THE NEXT
DAY WHEN I WENT TO THE HOUSE TO SEE HIM, HE SAID, "HELLO, GRANNY JEWELS.
AND IT WAS WITH SUCH A KNOWING LOOK AND, "I KNOW WHAT YOU DO. [ LAUGHTER ]
ADORABLE YOU KNOW WITH KIDS -- SO SWEET YEAH
>> Jimmy: WHEN PEOPLE COME UP TO YOU ON THE STREET, DO THEY RECOGNIZE YOU FOR DIFFERENT
FILMS? >> YEAH, I THINK THEY CERTAINLY DO THESE DAYS.
BUT IT'S INTERESTING IT DEPENDS WHAT AGE THEY ARE, JIMMY.
IF IT'S A YOUNG KID, IT'S, "OH, I LOVED YOU IN 'PRINCESS DIARIES.'" [ CHEERS AND
APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YES. >> BUT IF IT'S AN OLDER LADY,
OR GRANNY, OR SOMEBODY LIKE THAT, IT'S, "I ADORED YOU IN 'SOUND OF MUSIC.'" OR SO ON --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SUCH A GREAT CAREER, BUT IT'S INTERESTING
THAT PROBABLY THE NUMBER ONE QUESTIONS IN ALL THE INTERVIEWS I WATCHED YOU DO RECENTLY, IS
EVERYONE ASKS YOU, "IS THERE GOING TO BE A PRINCESS DIARIES THREE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> HONESTLY, I DOUBT IT BECAUSE I'M THAT MUCH OLDER, AND ANNIE
IS THAT MUCH OLDER ANNIE HATHAWAY WHO WAS SO LOVELY
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH >> THERE WAS TALK ABOUT IT MANY YEARS AGO, BUT I THINK IT'S
GONE TOO FAR NOW I WOULD BE THRILLED IF IT WOULD HAPPEN, BUT CAN'T THINK OF WHAT
THE STORY WOULD BE NOW [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
I MEAN, LET'S TALK ABOUT ANOTHER BLOCK BUSTER A CHILDREN'S HIT, "MINIONS, THE
RISE OF GRU. >> YES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE OUT JULY 1st >> AREN'T THOSE MINIONS ADORABLE
DON'T YOU LOVE THEM? >> Jimmy: HOW DO THEY DO IT. IT'S SO GENIUS
>> THERE'S ONE THAT JUST SAYS, "HELLO." [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE'S ADORABLE. >> Jimmy: HE'S SO CUTE, YEAH I SAW WITH MY GIRLS AND THEY'RE
EIGHT AND SEVEN. AND THEY LOVED IT. DO YOU LIKE PLAYING A VILLAIN?
>> YES GRU'S MOM IS ONE OF THE WORST CHARACTERS YOU CAN POSSIBLY
IMAGINE. [ LAUGHTER ] SHE'S THE WORST ROLE MODEL FOR
A MOTHER SHE'S TERRIBLE TO GRU. AND IT WAS A DELIGHT TO GET MY
TEETH INTO IT, I HAVE TO ADMIT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU NAILED IT, YOU
NAILED IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S SO PERFECT.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S JULIE ANDREWS IN "MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU.
>> OH, YOU ANGEL THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK.
>> BLAH. >> WHAT? MOM, WHO IS THIS SWEATY GUY?
HE'S STINKING UP THE HOUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOKING CABBAGE.
>> HE'S MY NEW GURU. >> BLAH. >> TELL YOUR WEIRD BUDDIES THEY
BETTER START PULLING THEIR WEIGHT AROUND HERE, OR I'M KICKING THEM OUT
THEY ARE KILLING MY MELLOW VIBES. [ DOOR SLAMS ]
[ MOCKING SOUND HEY, I HEARD THAT. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JULIE ANDREWS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "MINIONS: THE RISE
OF GRU" IS IN THEATERS JULY 1st >> THANK YOU SO MUCH
>> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> OUR NEXT GUEST STARS AS DARTH VADER IN THE "STAR WARS" SERIES "OBI WAN KENOBI" WITH
ALL EPISODES STREAMING NOW ON DISNEY PLUS. PLEASE WELCOME
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
* *
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN HAYDEN, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE
YOU, BUD >> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, MAN.
>> Jimmy: FIRST TIME ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." >> YEAH.
WITH YOU, YEAH >> Jimmy: WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS.
I KNOW, WE GO BACK TO "FACTORY GIRL." WE WERE IN A MOVIE TOGETHER
CALLED "FACTORY GIRL" WITH SIENA MILLER - >> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU WERE FANTASTIC. WE HAD FUN
>> LIKEWISE, YEAH. WE HAD TOO MUCH FUN. >> Jimmy: WE ACTUALLY DID,
YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WE ACTUALLY PROBABLY HAD TOO
MUCH FUN, YEAH DO YOU REMEMBER BY HOW IMPRESSED YOU WERE BY MY
ACTING YOU WERE LIKE, "JIMMY, YOU SHOULD GO INTO TALK SHOW
BUSINESS." [ LAUGHTER ] >> I REMEMBER MEETING YOU FOR
THE FIRST TIME AND I WAS PLAYING A CHARACTER THAT WAS LOOSELY BASED ON BOB DYLAN AND
THE FIRST TIME WE MET, YOU WENT INTO, YOU KNOW, ONE OF YOUR IMPERSONATIONS OF BOB DYLAN AND
I WAS SO BLOWN AWAY BUT IT, AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOODNESS, WHY AREN'T YOU PLAYING THIS
ROLE?" [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, OH, MY GOD
NO, YOU CRUSH IT COME ON, MAN I WANT TO SAY CONGRATS ON THE
SUCCESS OF "OBI-WAN KENOBI." IT IS THE BIGGEST THING IN THE WORLD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER DUDE
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: THE FINALE DROPPED ON WEDNESDAY.
IT WAS TRENDING NUMBER ONE ON TWITTER FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS AFTER THAT
BUT FIRST, I WANT TO GO BACK TO TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU FIRST GOT CAST AS ANAKIN SKYWALKER
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU WERE STRAIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL A YEAR BEFORE DOING SCHOOL PLAYS AND --
>> Jimmy: WHERE WERE YOU IN CANADA? >> YEAH, I WAS LIVING IN
VANCOUVER AT THE TIME, AND IT WAS A LONG AUDITION PROCESS. AND I WAS RENTING AN APARTMENT
WITH A FRIEND OF MINE. AND HE KNEW I WAS UP FOR THIS ROLE AND WAS GOING TO BE
FINDING OUT SOON AND I GOT THE CALL I WAS, YOU KNOW, SHOCKED AND IN
DISBELIEF AND I REMEMBER WALKING TO THE LIVING ROOM JUST WITH THIS BIG SMILE ON MY FACE
AND HE KIND OF PUT THE DOTS TOGETHER, BUT TO CONFIRM IT FOR HIM, YOU KNOW, I LIT UP AN
IMAGINARY LIGHTSABER >> Jimmy: YES! >> HE GOT IT
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE -- >> HE WAS A BIG FAN TOO. HE HAD THE "STAR WARS"
SOUNDTRACK AND HE PUT THE DUEL OF THE FATES ON, AND WE HAD A WHOLE LIGHTSABER BATTLE, SORT
OF JUMPING AROUND OUR APARTMENT JUST SCREAMING LIKE GIDDY LITTLE KIDS.
>> Jimmy: EXCITED. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT IT'S SO COOL
>> IT'S AMAZING. >> Jimmy: ALL THESE YEARS LATER NOW, YOU'RE IN THE NEW "OBI WAN
KENOBI." YOU GET TO REALLY FULL ON DARTH VADER, AND WE HAD YOU AND
McGREGOR ON THE SHOW A COUPLE WEEKS AGO. AND HE SAID WHEN HE FIRST SAW
YOU AS DARTH VADER, HE WAS FRIGHTENED, HE ACTUALLY -- HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED.
AND HE WAS LIKE, "I FELT LIKE ACTUALLY REALLY FRIGHTENED." EVERYONE ON SET TOO.
DID YOU FEEL THAT WHEN YOU WEAR THE COSTUME AND YOU DRESS AS DARTH VADER?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT'S AN AMAZING COSTUME TO GET TO PUT
ON IT'S AN HONOR TO GET TO WEAR IT
BUT DEFINITELY THE BEST PART IS JUST SEEING PEOPLE'S REACTION WHEN THEY SEE VADER.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND YOU HAVE LIKE -- >> Jimmy: IS IT EASY TO SEE OUT
OF THOSE EYE THINGS? >> NO, I MEAN, IT'S VERY LIMITED VISIBILITY
BUT WHEN SOMEONE DOES SORT OF COME ACROSS YOUR FIELD OF VISION -
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE FRIGHTENED >> YOU SEE THE SORT OF THE CHANGE IN THEIR DEMEANOR, YOU
KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, PEOPLE ARE USUALLY VERY
CONFIDENT, BECOME A LITTLE MORE TIMID AND SHY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I WANTED TO ASK
BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I CAN ASK. DOES IT GET HOT?
>> IT'S SO HOT, YEAH YOU'RE SWEATING BUCKETS IN IT THE WHOLE TIME
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE, RIGHT >> YEAH, YEAH. BUT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE AN
UNDERCOMPONENT TO THE SUIT WHERE IF YOU GET TOO HOT, THEY PLUG YOU INTO THIS MACHINE AND
IT PUMPS COOLING LIQUID ALL AROUND YOUR BODY TO SORT OF COOL YOU DOWN.
>> Jimmy: REALLY >> YEAH, WHICH AGAIN SORT OF LIKE AIDS TO THE WHOLE FEELING
LIKE YOU'RE THIS MECHANICAL CREATURE RELYING ON THIS MECHANISM TO KEEP YOU GOING.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW. HOW ABOUT -- BY THE WAY, YOUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DAUGHTER,
SEVEN. DOES SHE KNOW THAT DADDY IS DARTH VADER?
>> SHE KNOWS DADDY'S DARTH VADER. SHE'S NEVER SEEN DADDY AS
DARTH VADER. I'M STILL WAITING A LITTLE BIT UNTIL THAT HAPPENS
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN PROBABLY SHOW HER -- >> I MIGHT SHOW HER THE
PREQUELS SOON. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT STILL, THERE'S SOME
STUFF -- >> Jimmy: BECAUSE IT'S STILL DADDY.
>> -- WE MIGHT HAVE TO FAST FORWARD THROUGH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
THAT'S TRUE YEAH DOES SHE HAVE A LIGHTSABER >> WE HAVE A COUPLE LIGHTSABERS
KICKING AROUND THE HOUSE AND ACTUALLY, SHE WAS MY FIRST LIGHTSABER TRAINING PARTNER
WHEN I CAME BACK TO THE "OBI WAN" SHOW. [ AUDIENCE AW'S
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUDDY THE SERIES FINALE BEGINS
STREAMING WEDNESDAY. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE AWAY ANY SPOILERS FOR ANYONE OUT THERE
WHO'S WATCHING THE SHOW AND NOT CAUGHT UP. IT'S VERY INTERESTING DOING
A TALK SHOW WHEN YOU'RE NOT REALLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT HAPPENS A LOT AND EVEN WHEN IT'S OUT, LIKE,
IT'S BEEN OUT AND THINGS ARE OUT FOR YEARS AND THEY GO DON'T MENTION WHAT IS HAPPENING AND I
GO SO JUST IN CASE BUT THIS IS FRESH. AS OF WEDNESDAY.
WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT THE FINALE >> AGAIN, NOT A LOT WITHOUT
SPOILING ANYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I KNEW THAT.
I KNEW THAT. YEAH >> BUT NO, THERE'S SOME GREAT
STUFF AND THERE'S VERY EMOTIONAL CONFRONTATION BETWEEN OBI WAN AND VADER THAT WAS A
A REAL SORT OF PRIVILEGE TO GET TO FILM -- >> Jimmy: WITH EWAN.
>> WITH EWAN, YEAH, YEAH >> Jimmy: HE'S A GREAT GUY HE'S A GOOD ACTOR.
GREAT GUY. >> I LOVE THE MAN TO BITS, YEAH
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S GOOD, AND YEAH, IT DOES GET VERY EMOTIONAL.
CONGRATS ON EVERYTHING AGAIN, BUDDY. I LOVE YOU, MAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN AND
EWAN MCGREGOR IN "OBI WAN KENOBI." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
I SEE THROUGH THE LIES OF THE JEDI >> HELP ME, MASTER QUI-GON
GIVE ME STRENGTH >> ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS ALIVE *
HE'S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR A LONG TIME. [DARTH VADER BREATH] [ CHEERS
AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YES! COME ON!
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN, EVERYBODY. "OBI WAN KENOBI" IS STREAMING NOW ON DISNEY PLUS
PREACHER LAWSON PERFORMS STANDUP AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CAN BE SEEN AT THE BLUE ROOM COMEDY
CLUB IN SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI, JULY 1ST AND 2ND MAKING HIS "TONIGHT SHOW"
DEBUT, PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY PREACHER LAWSON.
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> HI, THANK YOU SO MUCH I GOT FIVE SECONDS
THANK YOU. OH, MAN, THIS IS GREAT THIS IS SO COOL.
I'M ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON." THIS IS SO COOL.
THIS IS MY FIRST LATE NIGHT, YOU KNOW, THING. AND I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR IT
BECAUSE I HOPE PEOPLE RECOGNIZE ME I LIKE THAT, MAN
THAT'S COOL. I LOVE -- I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE -- PEOPLE THINK
THEY'RE BOTHERING ME WHEN THEY RECOGNIZE ME LIKE, "HEY, PREACHER, I DON'T
MEAN TO BOTHER YOU, BUT CAN I GET A PICTURE. THEN I GOT TO PLAY IT OFF LIKE
I DON'T NEED IT FOR MY SELF-ESTEEM. "ALL RIGHT, FINE, I GOT YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT I DO ON THE OUTSIDE.
ON THE INSIDE, I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD." I LOVE IT.
I JUST -- I HATE WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE ME AND SAY WEIRD THINGS
LIKE SOME PEOPLE COME UP TO ME LIKE, "YOU LOOK BIG ON TV. "OKAY.
YOU GOT A BIG TV THEN. [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU,
I'M SORRY YOU CATFISHED YOURSELF BRUH. [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, I'M NOT EVEN SHORT, I'M 5'11 LIKE, ACTUALLY
I'M NOT TINDER 5'11. YOU MEET ME IN PERSON, I'M LIKE, "HEY, BABY
HOW YOU DOING? LET ME GET THAT DOOR FOR YOU." [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, IT SAYS I'M 5'9" ONLINE I GOOGLED ME
IT SAYS I'M 5'9. NO I'M NOT BRUH. I'M A MAN, I NEED MY INCHES SO
I TALK TO MY MANAGER I WAS LIKE, "YO, BRO YOU GOT TO FIX THAT."
HE WAS LIKE, "I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT." OF COURSE, YOU WOULDN'T YOU
6'2" IDIOT YOU ALREADY MADE IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW WHO DID THAT, BUT WHEN I SEE YOU, I'M GOING TO HIGH-FIVE YOUR FACE, BRUH.
I SWEAR TO BOB -- ALL RIGHT, I'VE BEEN TRAINING SOME MMA. [ LAUGHTER ]
I'VE BEEN DOING UFC. SOME PEOPLE CALL IT UFC. LIKE, "YOU DO UFC?
UFC IS THE ORGANIZATION. MMA, MIXED MARTIAL ART IS THE SPORT.
IT'S LIKE SAYING, "YOU DO NBA? YOU DO GOLDEN STATE WARRIOR? IT'S BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW, SO
I'VE BEEN TRAINING A FEW YEARS I STARTED TRAINING ON MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY
BECAUSE I WAS LIKE, "WOW, I REALLY MISS HER. AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IF SHE
HAS A BOYFRIEND? AND THAT'S ALL I NEEDED. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO I WAS LIKE TIME TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT SO I WENT TO THIS MMA GYM
CALLED UPRISE IN L.A IT WAS GREAT I STARTED HITTING HEAVY BAGS
I WAS DOING MITTS AND STUFF, AND MY COACH P. HE WAS LIKE, "HEY, MAN, YOU MOVE AROUND
PRETTY GOOD. WHY DON'T YOU COME TO ONE OF THESE SPARRING SESSIONS, DO
SOME LIGHT FIGHTING. I'LL DO SOME LIGHT FIGHTING BRUH
ALL YOU DO IS TWIST RIGHT? I GOT IT MAN SO I WENT TO A SPARRING
SESSION, AND I BROUGHT A TINDER DATE TO THE SPARRING SESSION -- AND, YEAH, I KNOW NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I -- THE FIRST PERSON I SPARRED, HE WAS LIKE 6'19.
HE WAS THREE PEOPLE BIGGER THAN ME HE HAD TATTOOS
I DON'T KNOW IF Y'ALL KNOW THIS, BUT TATTOOS MAKE YOU STRONGER
[ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T REALIZE HE USED TO DATE THE GIRL THAT I BROUGHT ON
THE TINDER DATE. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] THEY WERE ENGAGED.
THEY HAD CHILDREN TOGETHER I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF THAT IS TRUE, BUT HE WAS HITTING ME
LIKE THAT. OKAY [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS MAN KICKED ME -- HE KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH SO HARD I HIT THE CABINET.
I WAS LIKE, "OH, BLACK LIVES MATTER YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE GO
THROUGH. HE WAS BLACK TOO I WAS LIKE, "YOU GOING TO DO
YOUR BROTHER LIKE THIS?" [ LAUGHTER ] SO I KEPT TRAINING
I KEPT TRAINING, AND I FEEL GOOD SO I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GOING TO DO AN ACTUAL MMA MATCH. SO, I DID MY FIRST ONE IN
JANUARY. SO THAT WAS PRETTY COOL. AND I WAS -- PEOPLE LIKE,
"THAT'S WEIRD YOU DO MMA YOU DON'T SEEM VIOLENT." AND I'M NOT.
LIKE, I'M TICKLISH [ LAUGHTER ] IF I'M EVER CHOKING YOU GOOCHIE
GOO YOU OUT. I GOT TO LET YOU GO, YOU KNOW? I LISTEN TO R&B MUSIC WHEN I'M
WORKING OUT. MY WALKOUT SONG TO MY MATCH WAS "STRAWBERRY KISSES" BY
AMBER SIMONE AND MY OPPONENT HE CAME OUT TO, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, DIE
MUSIC. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THE SONG, BUT I REMEMBER WALKING OUT AND
I WAS LIKE -- I WAS HAVING A A LOT OF FUN I WAS LIKE -- I WAS LOOSE, AND
I WASN'T NERVOUS AT ALL. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS WERE THERE
I WAS LIKE, "THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT." AND I LOOKED ACROSS THE CAGE,
AND I SEE HIM AND I'M LIKE, "WOW, HE LOOK -- HE WAY BIGGER THAN I REMEMBER.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, "IS THAT A A TATTOO?"
AND THEN - [ LAUGHTER ] THEN THE BELL RANG, AND WE CAME
OUT, AND I WAS LIKE, "LET'S GO." AND I HIT HIM THREE PUNCHES
LIKE, "POP, POP, POP." AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, SNAP, MAYBE I'M A BAD PERSON BECAUSE
I LIKED IT!" [ LAUGHTER ] SO I THREW A BUNCH OF PUNCHES,
BUT I FORGOT TO BREATHE. WHEN YOU WATCH FIGHTERS THEY BREATH LIKE --
AND I WAS LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT?
SO IMAGINE, IMAGINE SWINGING AS HARD AS YOU CAN UNDERWATER, AND THEN AS SOON AS YOU GET ABOVE
WATER SOMEONE TACKLES YOU. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE DID I WAS LIKE, "OH, SNAP.
HE'S TACKLING ME IS HE ON MY BACK IS HE CHOKING ME
YEAH, HE CHOKING ME. AND I LOOK ACROSS THE CAGE, AND I SEE MY BROTHER, HE GOES --
AH AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
MY FRIEND WAS RECORDING. HE'S LIKE SLOWLY PUTTING HIS PHONE DOWN LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW
THIS DUDE. I HEAR MY MOM YELL OUT, "GET OFF MY BABY!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I WAS LIKE, "I THINK I'M LOSING RIGHT NOW.
BUT ANYWAY, MY NAME IS PREACHER LAWSON, THANK YOU SO MUCH
I LOVE YOU THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: PREACHER LAWSON.
HE'LL BE AT THE BLUE ROOM IN SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI, JULY 1ST AND 2ND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>>> MY THANKS TO JULIE ANDREWS, HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN, PREACHER LAWSON, ONCE AGAIN.
AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE