>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - MARLON WAYANS,
NATASHA LYONNE MUSICAL GUEST DOVE CAMERON AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 420. >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU! WELCOME!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WELL, GUYS, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS NETFLIX JUST ANNOUNCED THAT FOR
THE FIRST TIME IN OVER A A DECADE, THEY LOST SUBSCRIBERS, AND NOW THEIR
STOCK IS CRASHING. YEAH NOT ONLY DID THEIR STOCK
PLUMMET, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT ALL THE CASH THEY HAD IN THE BANK WAS JUST CAKE
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, APPARENTLY RAISING THEIR SUBSCRIPTION FEE EVERY EIGHT
SECONDS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA [ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT NOW NETFLIX IS SO DESPERATE FOR MONEY, THEY'RE NOW GOOGLING "IS THERE A REAL
LIFE 'SQUID GAME'? IT'S SAD [ LAUGHTER ]
NETFLIX IS BLAMING THEIR LOSSES ON FIERCE COMPETITION, INFLATION, AND RUSSIA.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHEN HE HEARD THAT, PRESIDENT BIDEN WAS LIKE, "HEY, GET YOUR
OWN EXCUSES. THAT'S - [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT NOW NETFLIX SAYS THEY'RE OPEN TO LAUNCHING LOWER PRICED STREAMING PLANS WITH ADS
[ AUDIENCE GROANS THAT'S RIGHT ENTERTAINMENT WITH COMMERCIALS
IT'S AN INNOVATIVE NEW CONCEPT CALLED "TELEVISION." [ LAUGHTER ]
VERY INTERESTING YEP, NETFLIX IS LOSING MONEY YOU CAN TELL IT'S HAVING AN
EFFECT ON ALL OF THEIR SHOWS FOR INSTANCE, "EMILY IN PARIS" IS NOW "EMILY IN PITTSBURGH.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S STILL GOOD. >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: ALSO, "THE CROWN" IS NOW "THE HAT." [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, "BRIDGERTON" IS NOW "AMERICAN GIRL DOLLS BEING RUBBED AGAINST EACH OTHER" WITH
HUMAN HANDS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'LL STILL WATCH IT, BUT -
WELL, THIS IS NICE I READ THAT NEXT MONTH PRESIDENT BIDEN IS RETURNING TO
HIS ALMA MATER, THE UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE, TO DELIVER THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH.
YEP, FRESHMEN ARE ACTUALLY INVITED TO THIS GRADUATION BECAUSE WHEN BIDEN'S DONE
SPEAKING THEY'LL BE SENIORS. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BUT I'M SURE BIDEN'S ADDRESS WILL INSPIRE KIDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SAYS, "I'M LIVING PROOF
THAT IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS YOU CAN ACHIEVE THEM, IN 60 YEARS."
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL I SAW THAT THE CDC HAS OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED A NEW
CENTER THAT WILL FORECAST OUTBREAKS OF INFECTIOUS DISEASES
IT RAISES A LOT OF QUESTIONS LIKE, "ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY DID?
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT CDC DOES, RIGHT? IT FEELS SORT OF LIKE CNN
LAUNCHING CNN PLUS IT'S LIKE, WAIT, WHAT ARE WE -- WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE
LISTEN TO THIS TODAY VIN DIESEL ANNOUNCED THAT THE TITLE OF THE NEXT "FAST AND
FURIOUS" MOVIE IS "FAST X. [ AUDIENCE OOHS IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE AN
OVER-THE-COUNTER LAXATIVE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: ZOINK.
>> Jimmy: IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FEDEX KNOCKOFF WHERE A GUY NAMED DENNIS SHOWS UP
WITH YOUR PACKAGE. "HEY, YOU ORDERED FAST X?" [ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, GET THIS, EVERYONE, NASA JUST RELEASED A NEW REPORT WHERE THEY SAY THEIR BIGGEST
PRIORITY IS PROBING URANUS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: COME ON.
>> Jimmy: HIGGINS, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT URANUS? >> Steve: WELL, I KNOW IT'S THE
7th PLANET FROM THE SUN. >> Jimmy: INTERESTING. >> Steve: IT'S ALSO THE THIRD
LARGEST PLANET IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM IT'S ALMOST FOUR TIMES LARGER
THAN EARTH >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: IT ALSO REMINDS ME OF, YOU KNOW, YOUR ANUS, YOU KNOW, LIKE THE WORDD
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. >> Steve: IS IT THE RED PLANET
NO, IT'S A BROWN PLANET, RIGHT URANUS [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WOULDN'T KNOW. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT URANUS AS A WHOLE?
>> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: NOT A BLACK HOLE,
THOUGH THAT'S A DIFFERENT - >> Jimmy: YEAH, DIFFERENT
THING. >> Steve: CELESTIAL BODY >> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
WELL, GUYS TODAY IS 4/20 AND ODDLY ENOUGH, TOMORROW - [ CHEERS ]
YEAH, HAPPY 4/20, EVERYONE TOMORROW - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ODDLY ENOUGH, TOMORROW, THE SALE OF RECREATIONAL WEED WILL BEGIN IN NEW JERSEY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ONE DAY AFTER 4/20 I MEAN, REALLY
THAT'S LIKE CHIPOTLE OFFERING FREE GUAC ON SEIS DE MAYO, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
[ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, POLICE SAY THAT A A MAN IN WEST VIRGINIA WAS
ARRESTED AFTER HE WAS PULLED OVER, AND INSTEAD OF HANDING OFFICERS HIS REGISTRATION, HE
GAVE THEM HIS METH [ LAUGHTER ] HIS LAWYER WAS LIKE, "YOUR
HONOR -- I GOT NOTHING." [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, DID YOU GUYS SEE
THE PICTURE OF FRENCH PRESIDENT EMMANUEL MACRON THAT WAS GOING AROUND YESTERDAY
IT WENT VIRAL BECAUSE HIS SHIRT IS UNBUTTONED AND HE'S SHOWING A LOT OF CHEST HAIR.
HERE IT IS HERE IT IS RIGHT -- YEAH [ AUDIENCE OOHS
WELL, MACRON IS RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION RIGHT NOW AND HE ACTUALLY ASKED US IF HE COULD
PREMIERE A NEW CAMPAIGN SONG ON OUR SHOW TONIGHT SO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME FRENCH PRESIDENT EMMANUEL MACRON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* BONJOUR IT IS M WITH MY CHEST HAIR YOU SEE DO YOU THINK I'M SEX
I SURE HOPE YOU SAY OUI * * I HAVE GOOD POLICIE FOR ZE ECONOMY
I SHALL MAKE MY VP EMILY IN PARIS * [ LAUGHTER ]
* I'M AS FRENCH AS CAN BE I CAN GET YOU IN FRE TO ZE PATISSERIE
THE CHEF IS RATATOUILLE * [ LAUGHTER ] * WE CAN NIBBLE ZE BRIE
SMOKE A CIG BY THE SEA * * GIVE MY CHEST HAIR A SQUEEZE
AS IT BLOWS IN ZE BREEZE * [ LAUGHTER ] * NOW I MUST SAY ADIE
BUT IN TWENTY TWENTY-DEU IF YOU ALL VOTE FOR ME I WILL WHISPER MERCI *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * BUT FOR NOW I BID YOU ADIEU ADIEU ADIEU *
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
TONIGHT! MARLON WAYANS IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NATASHA LYONNE IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM DOVE CAMERON [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE ARE PLAYING "TRUE CONFESSIONS" WHEN WE COME BACK STICK AROUND, EVERYONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: SO YOU WERE AT -- SO
IT'S LIKE A CLUB, AND YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO TUPAC. >> YEAH, IT WAS ME, HIM, AND
BIGGIE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE
TONIGHT SHOW." IT IS TIME TO PLAY A GAME OF DECEPTION CALLED "TRUE
CONFESSIONS.
*
>> Jimmy: MY FIRST OPPONENT TONIGHT IS A MULTITALENTED
ACTOR, WRITER, AND COMEDIAN WHOSE NEW HBO MAX SPECIAL "MARLON WAYANS PRESENTS: THE
HEADLINERS" PREMIERES TOMORROW PLEASE WELCOME MARLON WAYANS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WOW. WOW.
>> I'M GOING TO WIN THIS ONE, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: LIKE A MAGNET BROUGHT
YOU IN >> THAT'S RIGHT. I'M HERE FOR BUSINESS.
I'M WINNING THIS ONE I'VE BEEN ON THIS SHOW 17 TIMES
I HAVEN'T WON NOTHING. THIS IS RIGGED [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MARLON AND I WILL BE FACING OFF AGAINST AN AMAZING ACTRESS WHO'S CURRENTLY
STARRING IN SEASON TWO OF "RUSSIAN DOLL" WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX
PLEASE WELCOME NATASHA LYONNE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
NATASHA LYONNE [ CHEERS ] GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> YOU TOO >> Jimmy: HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS.
IN FRONT OF EACH OF US ARE TWO ENVELOPES CONTAINING CONFESSIONS.
ONE IS TRUE. THE OTHER IS A LIE ONCE YOU READ A CONFESSION, THE
OTHER TWO PLAYERS GET TO INTERROGATE YOU. THEN WE HAVE TO COME TO
A UNANIMOUS DECISION IS IT THE TRUE OR IS IT A LIE? MARLON, YOU'LL GO FIRST.
WHICH ENVELOPE SHOULD MARLON OPEN ONE OR TWO
>> SIR >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHAT DO YOU -- >> I GET TO CHOOSE
>> Jimmy: NO, I THINK WE'LL CHOOSE RIGHT?
>> SEE, IT'S ALREADY RIGGED. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THE
AUDIENCE THINK ONE. TWO.
EVERYONE IS SAYING TWO >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: OKAY
>> IT'S SO CRAZY YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO WIN. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I AM GOING TO WIN I ONCE TOLD TUPAC THAT HE HAD EYES LIKE SNUFFLEUPAGUS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> THERE'S NO WAY, MAN THERE IS NO WAY.
>> Jimmy: THERE'S NO WAY THAT HE COULD -- WHAT YEAR WAS THIS >> OH, THIS IS IN THE '90s
I REMEMBER WE HAD BAGGY PANTS ON AND HE WAS STILL RHYMING LIKE HEY, B, SEE ME.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHERE WERE YOU GUYS? >> WHERE WERE WE
>> Jimmy: YEAH -- WITH TUPAC >> -- IN LOS ANGELES THAT WAS -- OLD CLUB
>> I DON'T KNOW MAN. >> Jimmy: GLAM SALAM >> THIS WAS IN GLAM SLAM
>> Jimmy: OH GLAM SLAM >> YEAH. >> WAS IT LIKE A TENNIS THING?
LIKE A -- ALSO GLAMOR? GLAM SLAM? >> YOU KNOW, GLAM SLAM
PRINCE HE LIKE - >> Jimmy: GLAM >> GLAM AND HE LIKE SLAM
>> NOW I UNDERSTAND. >> Jimmy: -- LIKE A CLUB AND YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO TUPAC
>> YEAH, IT WAS ME, HIM, AND BIGGIE [ LAUGHTER ]
I'VE GOT TO PUT MY GLASSES ON. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, PUT YOUR GLASSES ON THIS WAY.
WAIT, SO YOU, TUPAC, AND BIGGIE WERE SITTING TOGETHER, AND YOU LEAN OVER TO TUPAC AND YOU GO,
YOUR EYES LOOK LIKE SNUFFLEUPAGUS. >> HOW LONG Y'ALL GONE ANSWER
ME QUESTIONS [ LAUGHTER ] I TOLD HIM -
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS HIS REACTION >> I'M SO SORRY.
I HAVE A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHEN SOMEONE'S EYES LOOK LIKE
SNUFFLEUPAGUS. >> THIS IS WHAT THE CARD SAYS. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO, I THINK BECAUSE HE HAS VERY LONG EYELASHES >> OH, I SEE
>> LIKE MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS AND HE ALSO HAS REALLY SOFT HANDS. AND I CALLED HIM THE PALMOLIVE
THUG [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DID HE GO CRAZY?
DID HE FREAK OUT OR DID HE LAUGH? >> AND WHAT WAS BIGGIE DOING
THIS WHOLE TIME? >> BIGGIE WAS JUST -- IT WAS ALL -- HE WAS JUST BREATHING
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE WAS JUST BREATHING.
OKAY >> OH, OH, OH, OH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE WAS JUST BREATHING. OKAY
I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE MARLON -- I'VE SEEN HIM IN ACTION. HE'S VERY POPULAR GUY, VERY
CHARMING >> OH, HE IS HE'S A WONDER.
>> Jimmy: I COULD SEE HIM GO TO PARTIES AND I COULD SEE HIM ACTUALLY SAYING TO TUPAC THAT
AND -- >> AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND GETTING
A LAUGH. SNUFFALUFFAGUS LIKE EYE LASHES BUT --
>> AND YET I THINK IT'S DEFINITELY THE TRUTH NO, I'M JUST KIDDING
IT'S A LIE IT'S A LIE >> Jimmy: WE THINK IT'S A LIE.
>> I GOT YOU, JIMMY! IT'S THE TRUTH >> Jimmy: WHAT?!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> NO WAY.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> WHAT? >> Jimmy: NO WAY
>> I DID -- TUPAC AND I DID "ABOVE THE RIM" TOGETHER I WENT TO SEE TUPAC AND BIGGIE
PERFORM AT GLAM SLAM WE WAS ALL SITTING AROUND CRACKING JOKES, AND I TOLD HIM
HE HAD EYES LIKE MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS, EYELASHES WERE SO LONG
>> Jimmy: THAT IS A GREAT STORY. YOU GOT US
MARLON WAYANS, CONGRATULATIONS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I WON
I WON! >> Jimmy: FIRST TIME YOU EVER WON.
NO ONE EVER WINS >> DO I GET A PRIZE? [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
>> YOU GET A WHOLE ASHTRAY >> Jimmy: YOU GET THE WHOLE ASHTRAY OF FAKE CIGARETTES
BURNING. ALL RIGHT. IT IS MY TURN.
WHICH ENVELOPE SHOULD I OPEN >> ONE, BABY, ONE, BABY. >> Jimmy: OKAY, ONE.
ON MONDAY, I WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND I HELPED THE PRESIDENT TIE HIS TIE.
>> BIDEN OLD HE NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THOSE TIES
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> MY FIRST QUESTION IS WHEN WAS MONDAY
THAT'S WHAT'S TRIPPING ME UP [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S YOUR FIRST
QUESTION MONDAY WAS THIS WEEK >> TODAY IS WEDNESDAY.
>> Jimmy: TODAY IS WEDNESDAY >> SO LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING.
>> WHAT TIME ON MONDAY WAS THIS >> Jimmy: I WAS THERE FOR THE
EASTER EGG ROLL. I WENT WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS, WE WENT AND I READ A BOOK.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IF I WAS GOING TO MEET THE PRESIDENT. THEN, I MET HIM AND THEN I TIED
HIS TIE. >> WAS HE NOT WEARING A TIE? WHY WERE IN HIS DRESSING
QUARTERS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WASN'T IN HIS
DRESSING QUARTERS. I WAS ACTUALLY IN THE BLUE ROOM
YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE GREEN ROOM TO GET TO THE BLUE ROOM TO GET A PHOTO WITH THE
PRESIDENT -- >> WHAT HAPPENS, THAT'S WHY THE --
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> WHAT'D HE SMELL LIKE? WHAT HE SMELL LIKE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WAS IT COLOGNE - >> Jimmy: OLD SPICE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> DENTURES? OLD SPICE.
OKAY >> Jimmy: NO, NO HE SMELLED GREAT
>> COFFEE BREATH >> Jimmy: HE WAS THERE -- NO COFFEE BREATH.
HE WAS THERE WITH THE FIRST LADY AND I WALKED OUT, I WAS KIND OF
NERVOUS. I BROUGHT -- I WAS THERE WITH MY KIDS.
HE MADE A JOKE TO MY KIDS. HE SAID, I KNOW WHO YOUR DAD IS, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
IT WAS FUNNY AND THEN HE STOOD UP AND THE FIRST LADY SAID, JIMMY'S TIE
LOOKS GREAT. HE ALWAYS HAS NICE TIES ON HIS SHOW
I GO, THAT'S CAUSE I -- I GO THANK YOU. IT'S 'CAUSE I KNOW HOW TO TIE
A KNOT I KNOW HOW TO TIE A GOOD KNOT. AND HE GOES, "WHAT'S THE
SECRET?" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I GO, I CAN TIE YOURS.
>> WHAT KIND OF TIE WAS -- DID YOU DO DOUBLE KNOT DOUBLE WINDSOR
WHAT KIND OF TIE - >> Jimmy: IT'S A FLIPOVER. I DON'T KNOW -
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER IT'S A TWO FLIP AND THEN A PUSH THROUGH AND THEN A YANK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] NO I GAVE A NICE TIE AND IT WORKED
I COULDN'T BELIEVE NO ONE WAS STOPPING ME. YOU DON'T REAL HE SEE SECRET
SERVICE BECAUSE THEY'RE HIDING BUT NO ONE STOPPED ME. NO ONE EVEN SAID DON'T DO THAT
HE'S THE ONE THAT LOOSENED IT AND TOOK IT ALL DOWN AND I'M LIKE 'M GONNA DO THIS
AND I DID IT I TIED THE PRESIDENT'S TIE AND HE WENT AND SPOKE TO
AMERICA. >> I MEAN I DON'T NOT BELIEVE IT IS THE TROUBLE HERE
>> HE'S JIMMY, HE'S GOING TO -- I WOULD LET HIM IF I WAS THE PRESIDENT.
>> AND IF I WASN'T THE PRESIDENT. >> NOW, IF I WAS OBAMA TIE -
NA, GET UP ON ME WE GOOD, WE GOOD BRO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> WITH BIDEN HE MAY TAKE THE -- I'M GONNA SAY IT'S REAL
>> I THINK IT'S TRUE AH, YOU'RE LYING >> Jimmy: I GOT YOU.
IT'S A LIE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
COME ON NOW. I JUST MADE IT UP. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT STORY TO
TELL THEY WOULDN'T LET ME TOUCH THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
>> WOW WERE YOU EVEN THERE AT ALL >> Jimmy: NO, I WASN'T -- NO
I WAS THERE. I WAS THERE. I WAS THERE.
I WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE ON MONDAY I JUST FIGURED THAT WOULD BE
SOME TYPE OF STORY THAT HAPPENED TO ME >> YOU'RE A GOOD LIAR.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, NATASHA, IT IS NOW YOUR TURN. GO FOR IT.
>> WHICH ONE >> Jimmy: NUMBER ONE NUMBER ONE
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I KNOW IT'S SEASON TWO OF "RUSSIAN DOLL" BUT NUMBER ONE.
COME ON. >> GO ON >> THE FIRST TIME I EVER FLEW
ON A PLANE, MARLON BRANDO, MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND. WE WORKED TOGETHER WITH ON
"SCARY MOVIE 2" WAS IN FIRST CLASS, AND HE BROUGHT WITH HIM AN ENTIRE BIRTHDAY CAKE TO EAT
ON THE PLANE >> DID HE SHARE THE CAKE >> HE INITIALLY DID NOT WANT
TO I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, BUT BRANDO'S BIRTHDAY IS APRIL
3rd. I'M APRIL 4th. SO, YOU KNOW, WE WOULD STAY IN
TOUCH, AND HE WOULD -- ANYWAY - >> Jimmy: TOO MANY DETAILS
ALREADY. I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GETTING A A LITTLE NERVOUS
YOU'RE STARTING TO GIVE US TOO MUCH DETAILS WE DIDN'T ASK WHAT BIRTHDAY IT
WAS. >> I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE A SIMILAR
BIRTHDAY >> WHERE WERE YOU GUYS ON YOUR WAY TO
>> HE WAS ON HIS WAY BACK FROM AUSTRALIA BECAUSE OF THE - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I ONLY LAUGH CAUSE IT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE >> Jimmy: I DO LIKE THAT MOVIE
VAL KILMER >> THAT MOVIE, YOU'RE ALWAYS TEXTING.
>> Jimmy: I ALWAYS SAY I LOVE - [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
THAT AND "SUPERMAN" ARE MY TWO FAVORITES. >> AND I ALWAYS SAY WHAT ABOUT
"APOCALYPSE NOW" AND YOU ALWAYS SAY "IT'S ABOUT MOREAU BABY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S ABOUT --
BABY SO, YOU SAID HE'S FLYING BACK FROM AUSTRALIA
AND YOU -- GREETED HIM ON THE PLANE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY >> I LIKE FLYING, OKAY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WOW, I THINK THIS IS OFF THE RAIL
THE QUESTION IS NATASHA LYONNE PLAYING US RIGHT NOW AND PURPOSELY SAYING -
>> GUYS I JUST -- MARLON I WANT YOU -- LOOK AT ME >> MY NAME IS MARLON
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> MY MARLON INSTINCTS I KNEW BRANDO TOO.
>> WE KNEW BRANDO. >> YES >> I HAVE THOSE DAILIES.
>> YEAH BUT SEE -- >> Jimmy: DOES HE TALK LIKE THIS
DOES HE TALK LIKE THIS >> YOU KNEW HIM AS -- ON THE SET.
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Jimmy: WERE YOU IN FIRST CLASS AS WELL?
>> NO. >> OH, YOU DON'T THINK I TRAVEL FIRST CLASS?
>> Jimmy: NO YOU DO! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE.
>> NOT BACK THEN NOT BACK THEN. >> DURING THE FILMING OF "THE
ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU." >> OH, OKAY. WELL, MAYBE.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> WASN'T I. >> YOU JUST LOOK SO YOUNG.
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: HE -- "HEY MARLON GOOD TO SEE YOU.
AND HE GOES -- >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: HE GOES --
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, IT'S MY BIRTDAY -- >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CAKE OR HE GOES, "I DON'T WANT TO
SHARE CAKE." >> ALL RIGHT, FINE YOU KNOW WHY IT'S WEIRD?
I WANTED TO SELL YOU ON THE FACT THAT HE GAVE ME CAKE. BUT YOU KNOW IT'S BRANDO, HE
LIKES A SNACK, AND NO, I DIDN'T GET ANY CAKE >> YOU ALREADY TELL HALF A LIE
THAT YOU SAID HE GAVE YOU THE CAKE >> OKAY WHATEVER, BUT THAT'S
NOT WHAT'S WRITTEN HERE. I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE -
>> Jimmy: FIRST CLASS, HE BROUGHT A WHOLE ENTIRE BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH HIM ON THE FLIGHT.
I'M GONNA SAY, I DON'T KNOW MAN. HONESTLY -
>> THAT'S TOO OBSCURE NOT TO BE REAL IT HAS TO BE REAL.
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S TRUE. DID IT HAPPEN? >> TO ME
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> NO WAY, BABY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
COME ON. COME ON. THAT IS A PRO.
THAT IS A PRO RIGHT THERE. THAT'S A GOOD ONE RIGHT THERE. >> Jimmy: THAT IS THE ONLY
NON-LIAR MARLON WAYANS, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NATASHA LYONNE WE'RE TALKING TO MARLON AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. I KIND OF BELIEVED IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN, ONE OF OUR FAVORITES, AND A VERY TALENTED ACTOR
HIS NEW SPECIAL "MARLON WAYANS PRESENTS: THE HEADLINERS" IS ON HBO MAX TOMORROW, AND TICKETS
ARE ON SALE FOR HIS "MICROPHONE FIEND TOUR." EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME
MARLON WAYANS.
*
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S A STANDING -- THAT'S
A STANDING OVATION FOR MARLON WAYANS. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW
>> HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY 'EM TO DO THAT? >> Jimmy: NEVER, WE LOVE -- WE
LOVE YOU >> SUCH A FRIEND >> Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU.
>> HEY, MY MAN >> Jimmy: COME ON. >> CONGRATS, BROTHER
>> Jimmy: COME ON. [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Jimmy: A LITTLE -
>> YOU LITTLE OSCAR WINNER, GO ON ACADEMY AWARD WINNER, LOVE, YOU
CHANGED ALREADY. LOOK, THE AFRO'S NOW SLICKED BACK
[ LAUGHTER ] HE CHANGED HE'S -- NOW YOU SPEAKING IN
EASTERN STANDARD DIALECT [ LAUGHTER ] "I AM A SERIOUS PERFORMER NOW.
MY NAME NOW IS AMIR K. THOMPSON DON'T CALL ME BY MY GOVERNMENT
[ LAUGHTER ] IT HAS DIGNITY NOW BLACK THOUGHT, YOU ARE --
TARIQ, YOU ARE NO LONGER 'BLACK THOUGHT,' YOU ARE 'NEGRO CONTEMPLATION.'
>> Jimmy: OKAY, HEY -- CHANGED IT [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO OR SAY.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M GOING TO DO. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I -- BUT I'M
HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE, I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE IN NEW YORK CITY.
WE LOVE YOU HERE >> THANK YOU I LOVE -- LOVE BEING HOME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IF -- YOU KNOW, TODAY, I WAS GONNA ASK YOU -
>> ALTHOUGH IT'S CHANGED A LOT LIKE, I'LL GO TO MY OLD NEIGHBORHOOD
I WAS IN THE -- I GREW UP IN THE HOOD, YOU KNOW, ON 16th STREET AND 9th AVENUE
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND BACK IN THE DAY IT WAS THE GHETTO
BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS ALL GENTRIFIED ALL MY STREET CRED IS GONE
I'LL BE LIKE, "YO, YOU KNOW I'M FROM UP -- FROM CHELSEA. THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU TALKING
ABOUT THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT GET YO ASS --" [ LAUGHTER >> Jimmy: IT'S CHANGED NOW,
IT'S DIFFERENT NOW, YEAH >> SO DIFFERENT. >> Jimmy: I WAS -- TODAY'S
4/20 AND I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU, BECAUSE YOU'VE PLAYED STONERS
IN A FEW FILMS >> I THOUGHT YOU WAS GOING TO ASK ME IF I WANT TO LIGHT UP
I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT." >> Jimmy: NO, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S ON YOU, BROTHER, IT'S ON YOU >> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO ASK
YOU, DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, 4/20? >> UM, IT DOES
NOT -- IT DON'T MEAN AS MUCH AS IT DOES SNOOP DOGG, BUT -- [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> HE'S PROBABLY CRYING. HE'S TAKING THE MONTH OFF.
[ LAUGHTER ] 'CAUSE HE'S IN - >> Jimmy: EXACTLY RIGHT.
>> BUT IT MEANS, LIKE, FOR ME, I -- IT'S FUN. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT IT.
LIKE, SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT SMOKING WEED I'M NOT.
LAST TIME I GOT HIGH WAS AT A BARBECUE -- I HAVE ALLERGIC REACTIONS TO IT.
I GOT HIGH AT A BARBECUE AT MY HOUSE, AND I THOUGHT I WAS SPIDER-MAN
I WAS LITERALLY -- [ LAUGHTER ] -- GOING AROUND MY HOUSE,
GOING -- [ LAUGHTER ] AND I SEEN THE WEB, AND I WOULD
JUMP AND STICK ON THE WALL [ LAUGHTER ] AND I DID THIS ALL AROUND MY
HOUSE FOR, LIKE, FOUR HOURS. AND PEOPLE WAS LIKE -- AND AFTER THAT, THEY WAS LIKE,
"MARLON -- NO MORE WEED FOR MARLON." >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE -- >> PEOPLE WOULD RATHER GIVE ME CRACK THAN WEED.
THAT'D BE AN EASIER HIGH FOR ME >> Jimmy: THEY -- YOU'VE
PLAYED -- YOU'VE WON A STONY AWARD. >> I LEARNED MULTIPLE WEED HEAD
AWARDS I'M REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING WEED HEADS.
I STUDIED THEM HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED >> Jimmy: YEAH, TELL ME.
>> I'M A METHOD ACTOR. SO - >> Jimmy: OKAY
>> INSTEAD OF ME SKOING IT, 'CAUSE WHEN YOU SMOKE, I FORGET EVERYTHING I DO.
IT'D BE REAL FUNNY, BUT I FORGET WHAT THE HELL I DID ONE TIME I GOT HIGH AND I WROTE
WHAT I -- I WAS LIKE, "I'M GONNA BEAT -- I'M A WRITE MYSELF DOWN -- WRITE DOWN WHAT
I DID. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND I WROTE IT DOWN
AND I -- IT WAS LIKE MY THIRD GRADE HANDWRITING. I DIDN'T KNOW --
I COULDN'T READ -- >> Jimmy: WHAT YOU WROTE DOWN. >> SO, I LEARNED, "LET ME GET
MY FRIENDS HIGH. I WOULD GET BIG BAGS OF WEED, AND I WOULD GET THEM HIGH.
AND I WOULD JUST WATCH THEM -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND TAKE NOTES
AND THEN I - >> Jimmy: THEY MUST HAVE LOVED THAT
>> YEAH. AND I DID 'EM IN MOVIES. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE PARANOID
ENOUGH >> SO, I DID ONE OF MY BOYS, SHORTY, "SCARY MOVIE."
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT >> HE'S A REAL DUDE, RIGHT [ CHEERS ]
AND HE WANTED TO SUE ME. [ LAUGHTER ] HE ROLLED UP -- SUE ME -- "SON,
I'M SUING YOU FOR CHARACTER DEFECATION." [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, "FIRST OF ALL, YOU MEAN 'DEFAMATION.'" "NO, SON, I SAID 'DEFECATION'
'CAUSE YOU [ BLEEP ] ON ME." [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE -- I WAS LIKE,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE WAS LIKE, "I SEENED -- I SEENED -- IT'S SEENED.
THE PAST SENSE OF SEENED, STUPID I SEENED YOU DO ME IN THAT
MOVIE, 'REQUIEM FOR A DREAM.'" I SAID, "DUDE, I DIDN'T DO YOU IN 'REQUIEM FOR A DREAM,' I DID
YOU IN 'SCARY MOVIE.'" HE GOES, "AHH! SON, THAT'S MY JOINT RIGHT
THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] "YOU SHOULD HAVE WON AN EMMY,
A GRAMMY FOR THAT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SHOULD'VE WON
A GRAMMY FOR THAT MOVIE, THAT'S GREAT. YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I THINK WE
TALKED ABOUT -- ONE OF THE TIMES WE TALKED ABOUT TAKING VITAMINS
'CAUSE YOU ALWAYS -- YOU LOOK SO YOUNG - >> THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: AND YOU TAKE -- YOU DO TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. >> I TAKE EVERYTHING
I TAKE -- SEE, SHORTY WOULD TELL YOU, "WEED HAS NUTRIENTS. [ LAUGHTER ]
"IT DOES IT GOT VITAMINS AND NUTRIENTS. IT GOT VITAMINS T, C, AND H.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND C, B, AND D. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH >> SO, I DO, I DO TAKE A LOT OF
VITAMINS BUT I JUST -- I DON'T KNOW, I JUST -
IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME I'M JUST DEVELOPING WEIRD. LIKE, I JUST NOW GOT A CHEST
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU GOT THIS YEAR? >> YEAH, IT'S A WEIRD FEELING
TO ACTUALLY HAVE A CHEST LIKE, WHEN A WOMAN LAYS ON YOUR CHEST AND IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S
SLIDING DOWN OFF YOUR -- [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, SHE GOT GRIT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SLIDING DOWN >> YEAH, NOW I CAN FINALLY GROW
A BEARD. IT'S NOT ALL -- MY BEARD USED TO GROW LIKE, AS IF SOMEONE
PUSHED ME IN A FIRE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND IT GREW CRAZY, ALL
SCRAGGLY LIKE, NOW I'M READY FOR LEADING MAN OR STUFF LIKE THAT
I COULDN'T DO THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU COULD --
YOU ALWAYS HAD A GOOD LOOKING -- I MEAN, YOU ALWAYS HAD A YOUNG
FACE >> I WAS CUTE. BUT YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO GET
THAT - YOU KNOW, I GOTTA -- FEEL THAT JIMMY, THIS -- I WEAR MY SUITS
TIGHT NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH YOU DO.
EXACTLY RIGHT. >> COME ON >> Jimmy: DON'T MESS WITH
MARLON WAYANS, MAN >> I WEAR MY SUITS TIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH
I MEAN, YOU ALWAYS LOOK YOUNG. LIKE, DO PEOPLE CARD YOU STILL >> WELL, I GET CARDED SOMETIME
AND I'M LIKE, "THAT'S CUTE DUDE, I'VE BEEN AROUND SINCE THE '40s."
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M OLD AS HELL. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF -- I'M ALWAYS GOING TO LOOK YOUNG THAT'S A GOOD THING.
>> Jimmy: YEP. >> THERE'S SOME PEOPLE THAT DON'T HAVE THAT.
LIKE, MORGAN FREEMAN HAS LOOKED OLD FOR, LIKE, 60 YEARS. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO, NEITHER ONE OF US ARE AGING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE JUST LOOKS THAT AGE. >> ONLY WAY YOU CAN TELL
MORGAN'S AGE IS, YOU GOTTA COUNT THE MOLES ON HIS FACE. [ LAUGHTER ]
EVERY MOLE IS AN EXTRA YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] LET ME STOP BEFORE
MORGAN FREEMAN BUST MY ASS, I'M -- >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'LL KILL YOU,
RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] IS THIS -- YOUR "MICROPHONE
FIEND TOUR," CONGRATS. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING STAND
UP I LOVE THAT YOU'RE DOING - KICKS OFF IN L.A. AT THE
PALACE, APRIL 30th >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: "NETFLIX IS A JOKE
FEST." >> YES >> Jimmy: THEN YOU GO TO
TAMPA, FLORIDA, BILOXI, MISSISSIPPI, LOOK AT ALL THESE DATES.
AUSTIN, TEXAS, DALLAS, TEXAS >> I'M TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: COME ON. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> IT'S TAKING A LONG TIME
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT. >> I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR 49 YEARS, IT'S -
ONE OF THESE DAYS IT'S GONE KICK IN, AND I'M BE SOMEBODY >> Jimmy: YEAH, ONE OF THESE
DAYS - MARLON WAYANS -- >> ME AND MORGAN FREEMAN ARE
GONNA DO BUDDY ACTION COMEDIES TOGETHER [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT >> IT'D BE GREAT
>> Jimmy: BUT I LOVE SEEING YOUR ACTING, BUT I ALSO LOVE SEEING YOU DO STANDUP.
BY THE WAY, MARLONWAYANSOFFICIAL.COM IS WHERE YOU SHOULD GO FOR THE
TICKETS. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO YOU DON'T GET
RIPPED OFF BY SCALPERS >> YES >> Jimmy: BUT YOU'RE ALSO DOING
ANOTHER COOL THING, WHICH, YOU KNOW, I GOT MY START IN COMEDY, SO I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE
DOING. IT'S ON HBO, TOMORROW. >> YES
>> Jimmy: SO IT'S YOUR SECOND HBO SPECIAL. HBO MAX, IT'S CALLED "THE
HEADLINERS." >> YES, IT'S WHERE I TAKE FIVE OF THE PEOPLE THAT OPEN FOR ME,
AND I OPEN FOR THEM, AND THEY'RE THE HEADLINER. SO, I'M GIVING -- IT'S THEIR
NIGHT FOR THEM TO BE FUNNY AS HELL >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT -
>> YOU KNOW, CHAUNTE WAYANS, D.C. ERVIN, ESAU McGRAW, AND TONY BAKER
AND IT'S A REALLY FUN NIGHT OF COMEDY >> Jimmy: GOOD FOR YOU FOR
DOING THAT - >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND GETTING THEIR
CAREERS KICKED OFF I LOVE THAT, JUST LIKE - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT'S LIKE RODNEY DANGERFIELD TYPE OF STUFF. >> OPENING FOR PEOPLE -- NOBODY
UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD IT IS TO OPEN FOR PEOPLE. AS AN OPENER, IT'S A VERY HARD
THING. LIKE, FOR ME, I OPENED -- I HAD MY BROTHERS.
I OPENED FOR THEM. THAT WAS HARD. >> Jimmy: WAS IT REALLY?
>> YEAH, BECAUSE MY BROTHERS ARE MEAN, AND -- [ LAUGHTER ]
NO, I OPENED FOR THEM -- >> Jimmy: IS THIS DAMON? >> DAMON, KEENAN, SHAWN, AND -
>> Jimmy: YOU OPENED FOR ALL OF THEM >> JACKIE, JERMAINE, ALL THE
WAYANS [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, I LOVE JERMAINE.
JERMAINE WAYANS? >> WE WENT ON A TOUR, RIGHT? AND SO, THEY MADE ME GO OUT
FIRST, RIGHT AND THEY'RE FUNNY, LIKE, THERE'S RULES OF ENGAGEMENT,
LIKE - THEY LIKE, "DON'T RUN THE LIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT.
THEY GAVE ME 15 MINUTES, GET IN, GET OUT. I WOUND UP GOING 17 MINUTES.
MY BROTHERS WAS PISSED OFF THEY SAID, "DON'T RUN THE LIGHT.
SO, THE NEXT CITY WE WENT TO, EACH ONE OF THEM, THEY SAID, "YOU'RE GOING TO CLOSE."
I DIDN'T HAVE A CLOSER SET I HAD AN OPENER SET. THEY SAID, "YOU'RE GOING TO
CLOSE. EACH ONE OF THEM DID AN HOUR BEFORE ME, AND THEN GAVE ME
A TIRED, DRUNK AUDIENCE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND THEN THEY WAS LIKE, "LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT - >> I DAMN NEAR GOT BOOED THAT NIGHT.
SO, THE NEXT NIGHT, THEY WAS LIKE, "THIS IS FUNNY WE GONE DO IT AGAIN.
SO, THEY DO THE SAME THING BUT I HAD PREPARED MY CLOSER SET.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> AND SO I WENT OUT AND I -- I DID AN HOUR.
AND I BROUGHT THE AUDIENCE BACK UP AND I DESTROYED >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND MY CRAZY BROTHER, THIS IS DAMON, "MM. I'M CLOSING TOMORROW."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: EXACTLY. ONCE YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON,
LIKE, "DUDE, GET OUT OF THE WAY. EXACTLY.
LITTLE BROTHER, YEAH >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW
EVERYONE A CLIP FROM YOUR SPECIAL. HERE'S MARLON WAYANS IN
"MARLON WAYANS PRESENTS: THE HEADLINERS." HBO MAX, TAKE A LOOK
YOUNG MAN? I WAS 18, I SAID, "I'M MOVING
OUT HERE TO BE AN ACTOR. HE SAID, "NO, YOU'RE A BLACK ACTOR.
I WAS LIKE, "NO, I'M AN ACTOR. HE SAYS, "NO, YOU'RE A BLACK ACTOR.
AND IF YOU GONE BE A BLACK ACTOR IN HOLLYWOOD, I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, YOUNG
BROTHER. THERE'S NO WORK FOR YOU IN HOLLYWOOD.
SO, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A BLACK ACTOR, I NEED YOU TO BE A WRITER, A PRODUCER -
[ APPLAUSE ] A CREATOR. AND THEN YOU CAN CREATE WORK
FOR YOUR BLACK ACTORS TO WORK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND BECAUSE OF JOHN SINGLETON,
I HAVE WRITTEN, STARRED, AND PRODUCED - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
-- OVER 21 TERRIBLE [ BLEEP ] MOVIES [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: SET THEM UP. MARLON WAYANS, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"MARLON WAYANS PRESENTS: THE HEADLINERS" IS ON HBO MAX TOMORROW
GO TO MARLON WAYANS OFFICIAL.COM FOR TICKETS, SEE MARLON LIVE ON TOUR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NATASHA LYONNE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A FOUR-TIME EMMY NOMINEE WHO CO-CREATED AND STARS IN THE ACCLAIMED SERIES, "RUSSIAN
DOLL." SEASON TWO BEGAN STREAMING TODAY ON NETFLIX
PLEASE WELCOME NATASHA LYONNE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * >> Jimmy: WOW.
COME ON, BUD >> HEY >> Jimmy: NATASHA, IT'S ALWAYS
GREAT TO SEE YOU >> HI, JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU? >> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING
ON, THANKS FOR PLAYING THE GAME I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ALL
THESE -- ALL THIS EXCITING NEWS >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
THERE'S A LOT GOING ON >> Jimmy: IT'S -- IT'S A LOT >> MAKING NEWS
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, YOU WERE -- YOU WERE ACTING, BUT YOU'RE ALSO PRODUCING ALL THESE
MULTIPLE PROJECTS. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: "RUSSIAN DOLL" SEASON
TWO, IT STARTED TODAY. >> YEAH, YEAH. IT'S NOW STREAMING
YEAH AND, UH -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT, BY THE WAY? I -- I FOLLOW YOU ON THE
SOCIALS. >> OH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE, YOU
KNOW WELL, YOU'RE VERY FUNNY. >> NO, NO, I'M GOING TO FOLLOW
BACK EVENTUALLY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT WEIRD >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, YEAH,
YEAH >> YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: I JUST WANTED TO PUT
IT -- SAY IT OUT LOUD ON LIVE TELEVISION >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BUT, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T REALIZE, YOU LOVE THE GAME WORDLE, BY THE WAY.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS. >> OH, I DO. >> Jimmy: YOU LOVE IT.
>> I DO FEEL TERRIBLE, 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THESE NICE PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING, AND THEY'RE HOPING
FOR SOMETHING, BUT IT'S JUST REALLY MY WORDLE, AND QUORDLE, AND OCTORDLE, AND SEDECORDLE,
AND DUOTRIGORDLE SCORES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> DUOTRIGORDLE IS A LOT OF FUN YOU SEE, BECAUSE IT'S 32 GRIDS AT ONCE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S TOO MANY FOR ME >> IT'S JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S LIKE -- YEAH. >> IT'S REALLY -- IT'S - >> Jimmy: REALLY, THAT'S WHERE
YOU WANT TO GO >> OH, THAT'S THAT SWEET SPOT, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT IT "OOH, THAT'S THAT SWEET SPOT,
JIMMY. >> THAT SWEET SPOT YEAH
>> Jimmy: SO HOW DO YOU -- WHY DO YOU LOVE THE -- THE WORDLE GAME
WHY DO YOU LOVE THE -- THOSE - >> EH, YOU KNOW, I LIKE TO HEAR THE CLICK, THE WHITE NOISE
SOUND, THE CLICK AND WHEN YOU TAP THE BUTTONS, YOU FEEL LIKE A CAT.
IT ALSO INCORPORATES - [ LAUGHTER ] -- READING AND WORDS, WHICH I
LIKE, AND TAPPING. AND IT'S NOT EXCLUSIVE TO THAT I ALSO ENJOY CHESS, AND THE
CROSSWORD, AND THE "NEW YORK TIMES" SPELLING BEE. >> Jimmy: WAIT
>> SO I HAVE A LOT OF HOBBIES. >> Jimmy: WAIT >> I DO IT ALL ON THE PHONE.
I'M ESSENTIALLY A CYBORG, AT THIS POINT [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I'M DOING, AT LEAST, I WOULD SAY FOUR TO SIX HOURS A DAY OF GAMING.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW, CONGRATULATIONS, OH, MY GOD. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: GOT TO GET A TWITCH CHANNEL NEXT
>> YEAH. AND I ALSO -- I BEAT ZELDA DURING THE PANDEMIC.
>> Jimmy: OH, WASN'T THAT UNBELIEVABLE >> YEAH, I'M GETTING A LOT
DONE >> Jimmy: LOOK AT YOU! I LOVE THIS!
>> YEAH. AND THE SHOW IS OUT TODAY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THERE YOU
GO, YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND IT'S OUT TODAY
>> SO THAT'S GREAT >> Jimmy: SO YOU, YOU KNOW, I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A LONG TIME,
LOVE EVERYTHING YOU DO "ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK," CONGRATULATIONS, THAT WAS
GREAT. AND THEN YOU GO, "YEAH, I'M GONNA COME UP WITH THIS IDEA
FOR 'RUSSIAN DOLL' AND PRODUCE IT WITH AMY POEHLER -- >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: "AND -- AND JUST FIGURE THIS OUT. HOW DID YOU EVEN -- HOW DID YOU
SELL THE IDEA OF "RUSSIAN DOLL"? >> OH, I'M NOT SURE HOW WE SOLD
IT I GUESS, THE ALGORITHM UM, BUT --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GREAT, YOU DID A FANTASTIC JOB WITH IT.
>> AW, THANK YOU SO MUCH WE WORK VERY HARD. I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT
BUT, WELL WHAT HAPPENED BACK -- WELL, I'VE KNOWN YOU GUYS BECAUSE OF MAYA --
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU AND AMY AND -- AND FRED AND EVERYTHING, FOR LIKE,
25 YEARS OR SOMETHING NOW. >> Jimmy: WILD >> AND -- AND ONE DAY AMY
CALLED ME. I WAS AT HOME. I WAS WATCHING "NYPD BLUE.
I WAS ON A REAL BENDER I'M A LITTLE BIT IN LOVE WITH DENNIS FRANZ AS ANDY SIPOWICZ.
>> Jimmy: OH, I REMEMBER >> I JUST THINK HE'S A REAL CUTIE.
AND, UH -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO, I WAS WATCHING THAT, YOU
KNOW, EATING ICE CREAM AND CHICKEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SHE CALLS ME UP, AND SHE SAYS, "HEY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY, AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN YOU,
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE OLDEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. AND I SAID, "WHY ARE YOU
CALLING AND INSULTING ME?" [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, "I DON'T HAVE
TIME FOR THIS, PLEASE. >> "I'M HAVING A TOUGH ENOUGH TIME AS IT IS, AMY."
>> Jimmy: "I'M HANGING UP THE PHONE NOW. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"
>> AND SHE SAID -- SHE SAID, "I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A SHOW ABOUT THAT."
AND SO WE MADE THAT SHOW, "OLD SOUL." IT DIDN'T GET PICKED UP.
BUT THEN WE MADE "RUSSIAN DOLL." AND, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> AND SO -- NOW STREAMING, LIKE I SAID.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SO "RUSSIAN DOLL" -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I LOVED IT, I GO, "THAT WAS TRIPPY." YOU DID -- YOU JUST PLAYED IT
SO WELL. BUT IT'S BASICALLY LIKE A "GROUNDHOG DAY" TYPE OF VIBE,
WHERE YOU KEPT DYING EACH EPISODE, AND THEN RELIVING YOUR -- YOUR BIRTHDAY.
BUT WHAT IS SEASON TWO ABOUT >> YES, WELL, THIS YEAR IT'S A A BIT OF A DEEPER DIVE
IF YOU THINK OF THE MATRYOSHKA DOLL, THERE'S, YOU KNOW, EVER DEEPER DOLLS INSIDE OF THERE
AND SO IF SEASON ONE WAS SORT OF A MEDITATION ON "HOW DO I STOP DYING?" IN A WAY, SEASON
TWO IS POSING THE QUESTION OF "HOW DO I START LIVING?" AND SO IT'S -- IT KIND OF GETS
IN -- IT'S A REAL PSYCHEDELIC, PHILOSOPHICAL, ROMP, AND IF THAT'S YOUR SCENE, YOU'LL
REALLY ENJOY YOURSELF. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT'S A WILD RIDE.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY LET US MAKE IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT LOOKS GREAT
I KNOW ANNIE MURPHY JOINED THE CAST TOO >> YEAH, ANNIE MURPHY IS A
A SENSATION. >> Jimmy: SHE'S FANTASTIC. YOU GUYS TOGETHER?
FORGET IT. >> OH, MY GOD. AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A SCORSESE
CHARACTER IN THIS. I MEAN, SHE IS JUST -- DOES EXCELLENT WORK
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE IS NATASHA LYONNE IN
"RUSSIAN DOLL," SEASON TWO
>> A BOURBON
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, HON >> YEAH, "HON," THAT'S ARGUABLY THE ONLY THING I'M SURE OF
BASIC CONCEPTS LIKE TIME AND SPACE ARE SUDDENLY ELUDING ME. I MEAN, LAST NIGHT, THIS PLACE
WAS MAYHEM CAUSE WI-FI WENT OUT, BUT IN THE NEW HERE AND NOW, APPARENTLY GRATUITOUS
NUDITY IS BACK IN PLAY * WELL, MY PAST, YOUR FUTURE
BEGS THE QUESTION, AM I HAUNTING YOU OR ARE YOU HAUNTING ME
>> YOU SEEM PRETTY RELAXED FOR A GHOST. >> TELL YOU WHAT I DID NOT
EXPECT, FOR THE SIX TRAIN TO RUN THROUGH SOME KIND OF A WORM HOLE
HIT ME, PLEASE >> YOU'RE A TIME TRAVELER. >> EH, I PREFER THE TERM "TIME
PRISONER." >> HM. >> Jimmy: YEAH, COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COME ON, BUDDY I ALSO WANT TO SAY, YOU GOT
TO -- YOU GOT TO DIRECT SOME OF THESE. >> OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I DIRECT ABOUT HALF THE SEASON AND, YOU KNOW, WE WRITE IT, AND WE'VE GOT A PRETTY SENSATIONAL
THING -- AN ALL-LADIES WRITER'S ROOM THEY'RE GENIUSES, I SWEAR TO
GOD. >> Jimmy: HEY, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
>> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING ON, IT'S ALWAYS SO GREAT TO SEE
YOU. NATASHA LYONNE, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CHECK OUT THE NEW SEASON OF "RUSSIAN DOLL," STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX
DOVE CAMERON PERFORMS AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING HER HIT
"BOYFRIEND," PLEASE WELCOME DOVE CAMERON
* * I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE FINALLY ALON
I CAN'T BELIEV I ALMOST WENT HOME * * WHAT ARE THE CHANCE
EVERYONE'S DANCING AND HE'S NOT WITH YOU * * THE UNIVERSE MUST HAV
DIVINED THIS WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOT GRAB YOUR WRIST *
* I COULD BE A BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN HIM I COULD DO THE THING
THAT SHE NEVER DID * * UP ALL NIGH I WON'T QUIT
THINKING I'M GONNA STEAL YOU FROM HIM * * I COULD B
SUCH A GENTLEMAN PLUS ALL MY CLOTHE WOULD FIT *
* * I COULD BE A BETTER BOYFRIEND *
* I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU TWICE ALL THE WAYS
HE CAN'T SUFFICE * * GIVE YOU SOME ADVIC I WOULD LEAVE WITH M
THE UNIVERSE MUS HAVE DIVINED THIS * * LADIES FIRS
BABY I INSIST * * I COULD BE A BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN HIM
I COULD DO THE THING THAT HE NEVER DID * * UP ALL NIGH
I WON'T QUIT THINKING I'M GONNA STEAL YOU FROM HIM *
* I COULD BE SUCH A GENTLEMA PLUS ALL MY CLOTHE
WOULD FIT * * * I COULD BE A BETTER
BOYFRIEND THAN HIM I COULD BE A BETTE BOYFRIEND *
* I NEVER WOULD HAV LEFT YOU ALONE HERE ON YOUR OWN *
* GLUED TO THAT PHONE NEVER WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU ALONE *
* FOR SOMEONE ELS TO TAKE YOU HOME I COULD BE A BETTE
BOYFRIEND THAN HIM * * I COULD DO THE THINGS THAT HE NEVER DI
UP ALL NIGHT I WON'T QUIT * * I'M GONNA STEAL
YOU FROM HIM PLUS YOU KNOW MY CLOTHES WOULD FIT *
* I COULD BE A BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN HIM I COULD DO THE THING
THAT HE NEVER DID * * UP ALL NIGH I WON'T QUIT
I'M GONNA STEAL YO FROM HIM * * SUCH A GENTLEMA
PLUS ALL MY CLOTHE WOULD FIT * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, DOVE CAMERON "BOYFRIEND" IS OUT NOW
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO MARLON WAYANS AND NATASHA LYONNE
DOVE CAMERON, RIGHT HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * *