Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - DAVID SPADE,
QUINTA BRUNSON CHEF DANIEL HUMM MUSICAL GUEST LUCKY DAYE
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1641
Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK
YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. PLEASE, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT
SHOW," EVERYBODY THAT'S A CROWD RIGHT THERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WELCOME. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS,
GUYS THIS IS BIG. APPARENTLY PRESIDENT BIDEN IS
SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING CANCELLING STUDENT LOAN DEBT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WHEN ASKED HOW THE COUNTRY CAN AFFORD IT, BIDEN SAID, "I'M GOING TO SLIDE INTO ELON MUSK'S
DMs. [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, BIDEN WASN'T EVEN THINKING
ABOUT FORGIVING STUDENT LOAN DEBT UNTIL HE LOOKED AT HIS POLL NUMBERS WITH YOUNG VOTERS
"AND YOUR DEBT WILL BE FORGIVEN PERFECT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, BIDEN IS BASICALLY TELLING EVERY COLLEGE STUDENT,
"I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR FOUR YEARS IF YOU TAKE CARE OF MINE, YOU KNOW?"
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A RISKY MOVE FOR BIDEN. HE'S ABOUT TO WIN OVER
EVERYBODY WITH STUDENT LOANS, AND LOSE EVERYONE WHO JUST PAID THEM OFF
LIKE, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." MEANWHILE, TODAY AT THE
WHITE HOUSE, BIDEN HOSTED THE 2022 TEACHERS OF THE YEAR. YEAH
BIDEN HONORED THE TEACHERS OF THE YEAR, WHILE OVER IN THE NEXT ROOM, THEY HONORED THE
SUBSTITUTE OF THE YEAR BY PUTTING ON A MOVIE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AT THE CEREMONY, BIDEN AWARDED THE NATIONAL TEACHER OF THE YEAR A GLASS APPLE
THE TEACHER WAS LIKE, "THAT'S COOL, BUT HOW ABOUT A RAISE? [ CHEERS AND LAUGHTER
IT WAS A GREAT EVENT FOR THE TEACHERS, BUT IT WAS SUPER-AWKWARD AFTERWARD WHEN
BIDEN RAN INTO THEM AT THE GROCERY STORE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
"CAN'T SEE YOU OUTSIDE OF -- YOU HAVE A HUSBAND?" [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME BUSINESS NEWS, I READ THAT IF ELON MUSK BACKS OUT OF THE TWITTER DEAL, HE'LL HAVE TO PAY
A $1 BILLION TERMINATION FEE [ AUDIENCE OOHS YEAH
A BILLION DOLLAR TERMINATION FEE, IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME DEAL AS LEAVING PLANET FITNESS
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, TODAY AT CINEMACON IN LAS VEGAS,
13 YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL "AVATAR" HIT THEATERS, VIEWERS WERE TREATED TO A FIRST LOOK AT
JAMES CAMERON'S SEQUEL "AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER." YEAH, 13 YEARS
THAT'S A LONG TIME NOW THE CHARACTERS ARE SO OLD, THEY HAVE "THE WAY OF WATER"
THREE TIMES A NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE CHARACTERS ARE SO
OLD, THEY'RE NOW BLUE BECAUSE OF POOR CIRCULATION. THAT'S -
[ LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF BIG MOVIES, IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT
ROBERT PATTINSON'S GOING TO RETURN FOR A SEQUEL OF "THE BATMAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YES. THAT'S RIGHT
ECCENTRIC BILLIONAIRE WHO TRIES TO SOLVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS BY HIMSELF
SPOILER ALERT, HE JUST BUYS TWITTER. [ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, THIS IS PRETTY COOL SCIENTISTS HAVE CREATED GENETICALLY MODIFIED LETTUCE,
THAT CAN KEEP ASTRONAUT'S BONES FROM CRUMBLING ON THEIR TRIP TO MARS
YEAH WHEN ASKED THEIR OPINION ON IT, HERE'S WHAT SEVERAL ASTRONAUTS
HAD TO SAY THIS FIRST ASTRONAUT SAID, "THAT'S PRETTY COOL ABOUT THE
LETTUCE. HEY, WHAT WAS THAT THING ABOUT BONES CRUMBLING?
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS NEXT ASTRONAUT SAID, "YEAH, THANKS FOR THE CULINARY
INNOVATION, BUT I, TOO, AM STUCK ON THE BONE CRUMBLING PART."
[ LAUGHTER ] NEXT ASTRONAUT SAID, "ARE WE TALKING, LIKE, GRADUAL
CRUMBLING, OR MORE LIKE AN ALL-AT-ONCE CRUMBLING? BECAUSE THAT WILL SERIOUSLY
AFFECT MY DECISION WHETHER OR NOT TO GO TO MARS. COOL ABOUT THE LETTUCE, BY THE
WAY. [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, THIS LAST
ASTRONAUT SAID, "BONES OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT THOSE WERE BACON BITS
WHERE'S LANCE? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD STORY.
GET THIS, IN ALABAMA, AFTER RAW CHICKEN PARTS WERE SPILLED ALL OVER THE ROAD, POLICE TOLD
PEOPLE TO DRIVE CAREFULLY AND HOLD THEIR NOSE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
EW [ AUDIENCE OHS ] PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU
THINK WE'RE GOING TO DO, PULL OVER AND BREATHE DEEPLY? I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU --
[ LAUGHTER ] SADLY, NOW WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE CHICKEN
CROSSED THE ROAD [ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, I SAW THAT A TRAIN IN
ARGENTINA HAD TO BE DELAYED AFTER A MAN FELL ASLEEP ACROSS TWO SEATS, AND GOT HIS HEAD
STUCK UNDER THE METAL ARMREST. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
LAUGH ALL YOU WANT, BUT THAT'S FIRST CLASS ON SPIRIT AIRLINES [ LAUGHTER ]
AH, YOU KNOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S THE WAY TO GO
GET YOUR HEAD IN THERE HEY, I HEARD ABOUT A A 13-YEAR-OLD BOY WHO'S ABOUT
TO GRADUATE FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PHYSICS.
[ CHEERS ] YEAH, YOU CAN TELL HE'S SUPER SMART, 'CAUSE HE'S GRADUATING
JUST IN TIME TO HAVE HIS STUDENT LOANS FORGIVEN YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SMART -- SMART KID AND FINALLY, IT IS TIME TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THE STORIES MAKING HEADLINES TODAY AND WEIGH THE GOOD WITH THE BAD.
IT'S TIME FOR "PROS AND CONS." HERE WE GO
* PROS AND CONS
AND PROS AND CON AND PROS * [ APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: TONIGHT, WE'LL BE TAKING A LOOK AT THE PROS AND CONS OF LEGALIZING WEED IN
NEW JERSEY THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AS OF LAST WEEK, PEOPLE IN NEW JERSEY CAN NOW BUY RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA
SO, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE PROS AND CONS OF LEGALIZING WEED IN NEW JERSEY
HERE WE GO PRO, SAYING "FUHGEDDABOUDIT. [ LAUGHTER ]
CON, THEN ACTUALLY FORGETTING ABOUT IT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBABOUT. PRO, THE MARIJUANA BILL WAS
TOUGH TO PASS. CON, IT WAS MUCH EASIER TO PUFF-PUFF-PASS
THERE YOU GO [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE PRO, PEOPLE WILL QUICKLY GO
FROM THIS -- CON, TO THIS - THERE YOU GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PRO, A SHORT, TAN JOINT IN NEW YORK IS CALLED A BLUNT
CON, A SHORT, TAN JOINT IN NEW JERSEY IS CALLED A SNOOKI. OH
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ RIM SHOT ] PRO, SMOKING BEFORE CATCHING A
A LONG FLIGHT. CON, BRINGING A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO "TAKING THE RED-EYE
OUT OF NEWARK. IT'S LIKE -- [ APPLAUSE ]
PRO, GETTING STONED IN BAYONNE CON, THEN PLAYING HACKY SACK IN HACKENSACK
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE PRO, PEOPLE IN NEW JERSEY ALREADY KNOW HOW TO ROLL A
A JOINT. CON, IT'S LIKE ROLLING UP A BODY IN A CARPET BUT SMALLER
HEY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WOAH
PRO, NEW JERSEY MAY INTRODUCE MANY WEED-THEMED BUSINESSES. CON, LIKE THE NEW SOCIAL CLUB
THE BADA-BONG. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, PRO, LESS "AY,
OH!" CON, MORE LIKE, "HEY, WOAH." THAT'S THE "PROS AND CONS,"
EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
HIS NEW SPECIAL ON NETFLIX, "NOTHING PERSONAL," DAVID SPADE IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DAVID SPADE IS HERE! QUINTA BRUNSON IS HERE TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GREAT SHOW CHEF DANIEL HUMM IS HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHANGING THE GAME. AND WE GOT MUSIC FROM
LUCKY DAYE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: FIRST IT WAS JUST ME AND YOU.
YEAH. Jimmy: AND UH -- AND DO YOU REMEMEBER THIS ONE NICE LADY
WAS LEAVING AND SHE GOES, "DAVID SPADE, OH MY GOD, YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON EARTH
OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH Jimmy: AND I GO - [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU
TONIGHT. SHE CREATED AND STARS IN THE ABC SERIES "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY.
THE FIRST SEASON IS AVAILABLE ON HULU. IT IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW
IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW, WATCH IT IT IS JUST -- IT'S A FANTASTIC
SHOW QUINTA BRUNSON IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SHE'S GOT IT, MAN. SHE'S GOT IT HE JUST LAUNCHED A PLANT-BASED
MEAL SUBSCRIPTION CALLED ELEVEN MADISON HOME GO TO ELEVENMADISONHOME.COM.
CHEF DANIEL HUMM IS HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CHANGING THE GAME. AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM LUCKY DAYE TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT FIRST, HE IS AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR AND
WRITER -- DAVID, WERE YOU EMMY-NOMINATED YES
[ LAUGHTER ] ACTOR AND WRITER HE'S A VERY -- HE'S A VERY
FUNNY COMEDIAN WITH A BRAND-NEW STAND UP SPECIAL CALLED "DAVID SPADE: NOTHING PERSONAL"
WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME, THE ALWAYS
ENTERTAINING, DAVID SPADE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT Jimmy: YEAH STANDING OVATION FOR
MR. DAVID SPADE. ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUDDY. WE LOVE YOU.
JIMMY, I HAVE A STUPID QUESTION FOR YOU Jimmy: WHAT'S UP?
THIS IS SO -- AND I'M SO EMBARRASSED. UH, YOU'RE JIMMY KIMMEL OR
FALLON Jimmy: MY GOD FALLON.
Jimmy: YOUR MICROPHONE IS ON, YEAH OH, FALLON.
AND I KNEW THAT. BUT THEN I SAID BACKSTAGE AND TWO PEOPLE WEREN'T SURE.
AND THEN -- AND THEN, BUT I ALWAYS SAY JIMMY, JIMMY -- BUT I NEVER --
Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW THE LAST NAME. NO, I DON'T
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW NOW Jimmy: YEAH
I GOT TO SAY -- I HAD DINNER WITH YOU LAST NIGHT. WHEN YOU COME INTO TOWN, I'M
LUCKY ENOUGH YOU INVITE ME OUT -- YOU INVITE ME OUT TO DINNR
I KNOW, THERE'S FEW PEOPLE I LIKE TO EAT WITH YOU'RE ALWAYS HILARIOUS, FUN TO
GO OUT WITH. CHRIS ROCK CAME -- Jimmy: YEAH, ME AND
CHRIS ROCK IS INTERESTING TO SIT WITH EACH OTHER, BECAUSE CHRIS CAME A LITTLE BIT LATER.
SO, AT FIRST IT WAS JUST ME AND YOU. YEAH.
Jimmy: AND DO YOU REMEMBER, ONE NICE LADY WAS LEAVING, AND SHE GOES, "DAVID SPADE, OH, MY
GOD, YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON EARTH." OH, YEAH, YEAH.
Jimmy: AND I GO - [ LAUGHTER ] SHE LIKED YOU TOO
Jimmy: AND THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING LIKE, "YOU'RE OKAY TOO OR SOMETHING."
[ LAUGHTER ] SHE GOES, "AND YOU'RE DOING YOUR THING."
Jimmy: I'M LIKE, WHATEVER AND THEN CHRIS COMES IN. I KNOW.
AND THEN IT WAS, LIKE, OVER. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: PEOPLE WERE JUDGING
US PEOPLE WERE GOING IN ORDER THEY'RE GOING LIKE, "OKAY,
YOU'RE KIND OF FUNNY." "IF WE GO BY TV SHOWS --" [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT CHRIS WAS GREAT. ALSO, THAT PLACE WAS SO NICE Jimmy: POLO BAR
YES BUT SOMETIMES THEY TRY TO UPCHARGE YOU -- NOT THAT
RESTAURANT BUT OTHER ONES. BUT LIKE, "HEY, YOU WANT SOME TRUFFLES IN YOUR DIET COKE?"
"NO. [ LAUGHTER ] "ALL RIGHT."
Jimmy: WELL, THEY KNOW WHO THEY'RE DEALING WITH THEY GIVE IT LIKE YOU'RE
CHEAP. THEY'RE LIKE, "OKAY. $35 DIET COKE.
IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR YOU? Jimmy: YOU'RE A COMEDY BEAST.
YOU WENT -- YOU AND CHRIS WENT DID STANDUP AND SURPRISED THE AUDIENCE AT THE --
COMEDY CELLAR Jimmy: -- THE CELLAR LAST NIGHT.
YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT. YOU KNOW, WHEN I COME IN -- IT ALWAYS HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
AND THEN AT THE END OF DINNER, HE GOES, "WANNA GO DO A SET? [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT HE'S ON TOUR RIGHT NOW, AND I'M ON TOUR FOR ONCE SO WE GO OUT ON THE ROAD, AND
SO, HE'S SUPER POLISHED. HE CRUSHED IT. Jimmy: HOW WAS THE CROWD
LAST NIGHT THEY WERE GREAT YOU KNOW, YOU WALK IN -- THE
COMEDY CELLAR IS A GREAT ROOM. Jimmy: YOU'RE ON TOUR NOW DO YOU LOVE IT
I'M -- YEAH I HAVEN'T REALLY DONE A THEATER TOUR IN A LONG TIME.
SO, IT'S A LITTLE RIGMAROLE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THIS WAS EXCITING?
I WAS -- NOT REALLY. BUT I WAS -- [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: BY THE WAY, THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE HOW HE DID IT YESTERDAY.
IT'S SO MANY JOKES IT'S REALLY BITS AHOY Jimmy: I LOVE IT.
IT'S BITS AHOY FOR BOTH OF US. I LOVE IT. SO, WE GO
SO, HERE I AM FLYING AND THEN THE STEWARDESS COMES OUT -- THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT COMES OUT
AND SHE GOES, "IT'S A LITTLE SCARY. SHE GOES, "I HAVE AN
ANNOUNCEMENT." AND THEN WE'RE ALL LIKE, "UH-OH."
AND SHE GOES, "THERE'S A BOMB ON THE PLANE." THEN SHE GOES, "NO, NO
IT'S GOOD NEWS IT'S GOOD NEWS." [ LAUGHTER ]
I LIKE HER TO HAVE A LITTLE PERSONALITY. AND SO SHE GOES, "TAKE YOUR
MASKS OFF. THEY JUST ANNOUNCED YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR YOUR MASK."
AND THEN SHE HAD GARBAGE, AND SHE THREW IT IN. AND THEN SHE GOES, "TAKE 'EM
OFF. AND WE'RE ALL LIKE, "WOO HOO." AND EVERYONE DID IT.
AND THEN I GO, "OH, WAIT, I NEED IT IN THE AIRPORT." SO -
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ] Jimmy: I REMEMBER WHICH ONE
WAS MINE IT WAS. IT WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A GRAB
BAG SITUATION. I WAS LIKE, "THIS ONE FITS LITTLE PERFUMEY, BUT YOU KNOW,
JUST ABOUT A HALF MILE TO THE LUGGAGE. SO, THAT WAS GOOD.
THEN I GET OUT OF THE PLANE -- OH, WAIT, ACTUALLY ON THE PLANE, WHEN I TOOK IT OFF, THIS
GUY NEXT TO ME -- YOU REALIZE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU'RE KIND OF HIDDEN.
AND HE GOES, "HEY, MAN." I GO, "OH, HEY DUDE. AND HE GOES, "THAT WAS YOU?"
I GO, "YOU DIDN'T KNOW FOR THREE HOURS? I'M TALKING.
I'M STANDING I'M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, ACROSS. AND HE GOES, "AH, NO."
AND I GO, "I HAVE A 'GROWN UPS' COAT ON. I HAVE AN 'EMPEROR'S NEW
GROOVE' LUNCHBOX, NOTHING? AND HE'S LIKE, "NO." HE'S GOES, "I KNOW 'JOE DIRT.'
I GO, "OH, OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] SO I GET OFF
AND THEN I GO AND THEN THE FIRST GUY -- YOU KNOW, IT WAS AN EARLY FLIGHT.
AND I GO TO ONE OF THOSE LITTLE BAGEL STORES WHERE THEY HAVE A A TABLE THAT'S A LIKE CIRCLE
LIKE THIS BIG, YOU KNOW. FITS ONE AND THERE'S NO CHAIRS BECAUSE
THEY WANT YOU TO BEAT IT SO, I HAVE A LITTLE BAGEL, I'M LIKE -
JUST GROSSLY EATING A BAGEL. AND THEN A GUY STANDS NEXT TO ME, AND SCOOCHES HIS BAGEL NEXT
TO MINE. LIKE, IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT TWO BARELY
AND I GO - AND HE GOES, "A LITTLE A.M. BAGEL IN THE MORNING.
[ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, THE MOST CRAMMED IN TALK I GO, "YEAH.
HE GOES, "YEAH, I'M DOING A LITTLE BAGEL-AGE MYSELF. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN HE GOES, "BAGEL TIME USA," OR SOMETHING AND THEN I KIND OF STARTED
FADING OUT AND THEN HE GOES, "ALL RIGHT, BAGEL IT UP, DUDE.
Jimmy: OH, MY GOD [ LAUGHTER ] AND THAT WAS IT
AND I GO, "DID WE JUST TALK? I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED." Jimmy: DOING A LITTLE
BAGEL-AGE. AND THEN I WENT TO THE SUNGLASS HUT -- AND THEN I'M
GONNA LET YOU TALK IN A SECOND [ LAUGHTER ] BUT, I WENT TO SUNGLASS HUT.
IS IT SUNGLASSES OR SUNGLASS Jimmy: I SAY SUNGLASS HUT YEAH, I SAY THAT.
AND BY THE WAY IT WAS BUMPING. AND THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE BUYING SUNGLASSES.
AND THEN I THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING SO WELL, THEY
SHOULD HAVE A BUILDING NOW." FORGET THE HUT WE'RE MOVING OUT OF THAT
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NO MORE HUT. TAKE A STEP ABOVE THE HUT.
GET A BUILDING. YOU KNOW, COMMIT [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: SUNGLASS HUT THAT'S NOT IN THE SPECIAL, DON'T WORRY.
[ LAUGHTER ] I GIVE YOU THE DUDS HERE BUT THE SPECIAL IS ALL THE
CREAM OF THE CROP. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: BESIDES YOUR STANDUP
TOUR, YOU'RE ALSO DOING A VERY FUNNY PODCAST. OH, YEAH, WITH DANA
Jimmy: THE ONE AND ONLY DANA CARVEY. DANA CARVERY, GIVE HIM SOME
APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: "FLY ON THE WALL."
IT'S CALLED "FLY ON THE WALL." AND HOW DID THE PODCAST COME ABOUT?
WELL, DANA AND I, YOU KNOW, WE'RE ON THE SHOW. WE SORT OF OVERLAP -- WE DIDN'T
OVERLAP WITH YOU HE WAS ON BEFORE ME, AND THEN WE OVERLAPPED AND WE WERE
BUDDIES. AND THEN WE LIVE NEAR EACH OTHER, AND THEN I TRY TO --
DRAG HIM OUT TO DINNER SOMETIMES. WE HAVE A LOT OF LAUGHS.
HE'S SUPER FUNNY DUDE. WE TALK "SNL" STUFF. AND THEN LIKE, SOMEONE WE KNOW
FROM "SNL" WILL COME TO DINNER AND WE TALK ABOUT THIS I GO, "YOU HAVE TO DO A PODCAST
IN L.A IT'S SORT OF LIKE JURY DUTY. SO WE SAID, LET'S DO ONE, AND
THEN MAYBE WE'LL DO A SORT OF "SNL" SLANT TO IT BECAUSE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE ON THERE.
SO, WE DID THAT. IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. WE ACTUALLY DID A LIVE ONE
WE DID A LIVE ONE IN AUSTIN -- IT'S SO FUNNY. IT'S 2,800 SEAT THEATER, AND
IT'S JUST THREE GUYS TALKING IT'S, LIKE, NOT RINGLING BROTHERS, YOU KNOW
SO I GET SCARED, BUT THE CROWD WAS SUPER INTO IT. AND THEN WE'RE DOING ONE IN
L.A. NEXT WEEK WITH SANDLER. HE'S GOING TO BE OUR GUEST Jimmy: OH, REALLY
IT'S ALL FUN. JUST GOOFING AROUND. Jimmy: I HEARD -- I KNOW
TINA WAS ON. TINA WAS ON Jimmy: BASICALLY EVERYONE
FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. MIKE MEYERS IS THIS WEEK. WE HAD TOM HANKS
Jimmy: YEAH, A LOT OF GREAT PEOPLE EVERYONE -- YOU'RE -- I WANT
YOU ON Jimmy: WHERE IS THAT INVITE NO, BUT IT'S JUST, RIGHT
NOW, IT'S A LITTLE TRICKY. Jimmy: RIGHT NOW YOU'RE BOOKED
NO, NO. I -- YEAH, I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE
SURE WE GOT AN HOUR OF STUFF [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I'VE GOT TO WORK MY
WAY UP YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
YOUR STANDUP SPECIAL "NOTHING PERSONAL." MORE WITH DAVID SPADE WHEN WE
COME BACK. OH, MORE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* I PICKED A CARD AND THEN IT WAS EIGHT OF
SOMETHING ELSE I THINK EIGHT OF CLUBS AND HE SAID, "HERE, PUT IT IN
MY WALLET. I SAID, "OKAY, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME.
AND THEN HE DID A MOVE AND HE WAS LIKE, "I'M GOING MAKE IT CHANGE INTO THE EIGHT OF
HEARTS." I WAS LIKE, "WHATEVER. SO I JUST OPENED THE WALLET.
IT'S NOT THERE I SAID, "THE CARD'S NOT THERE. YOU SUCK
NO." Jimmy: WELCOME BACK WE'RE TALKING TO OUR GOOD PAL,
DAVID SPADE RIGHT HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: HE HAS A NEW COMEDY SPECIAL CALLED "NOTHING
PERSONAL." IT'S VERY -- IT'S HILARIOUS. YOU TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING.
THIS IS YOUR GREATEST HITS YEAH, SOME OF IT, YEAH. I TALKED ABOUT, ONE OF THE
THINGS WAS CLICK BAIT BECAUSE I GOT CAUGHT INTO SOME CLICK BAIT ONCE WHERE SOMEONE PASSED OUT
AT ONE OF MY SHOWS, HAD A SEIZURE. AND THEN, YOU KNOW HOW THEY
SWITCH IT TO GET THE HEADLINE. IT'S LIKE, "DAVID SPADE STOPS SHOW BECAUSE OF SEIZURE.
SO, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S ME, YOU KNOW Jimmy: YEAH
SO, PEOPLE GO, "OH! AND SO YOU CLICK ON IT BUT THE ONES THAT REALLY GET
YOU ARE SO OBVIOUS, AND I KNOW THEY ARE AND THEY JUST TAKE YOU DOWN
A WORM HOLE, BUT I CLICK THEM ANYWAY Jimmy: LIKE WHAT?
UH, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST READING ABOUT LIKE, "OH, CARDI B AND THE DRAFT IS COMING
UP." THEN IT GOES, "WHAT'S THE ONE VEGETABLE TOM BRADY REFUSES TO
EAT? AND I'M LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS STUPID WHO CARES? AND THEN I'M LIKE, "IS IT
A COCONUT? [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN IT GETS IN MY HEAD AND
I CAN'T -- AND I START TO GO DOWN AND IT BOTHERS ME.
EVERYTHING IS BLURRY I GO, I GOT TO FIND OUT. SO, I CLICK ON IT, AND IT GOES,
"TOM BRADY WAS BORN IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA." I GO, "UH-HUH.
Jimmy: OKAY "NEXT." "TOM BRADY STARTED PLAYING
FOOTBALL AT THE AGE OF SEVEN." I GO, "WHERE'S THE MOTHER [ BLEEP ] VEGETABLE THAT YOU
SWORE TO GOD YOU WOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT." AND THEN 55 CLICKS LATER, IT'S
A TOMATO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN Jimmy: IT'S A TOMATO. THERE YOU GO
NOW WE KNOW. SPOILER ALERT I WAS WAY OFF.
BUT THEN THEY GET MEAN IT GOES, "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THIS '80s ACTRESS LOOKS
LIKE NOW." [ LAUGHTER ] I'LL SAVE YOU 48 CLICKS AND TWO
AND A HALF HOURS SHE LOOKS LIKE [ BLEEP ] Jimmy: OKAY
I GO, IT'S SO MEAN. I GO, SHE AGED 30 YEARS IN 30 YEARS
THAT WAS HER BIG CRIME Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE -
THEN IT GOES, "LOOK AT THIS LADY NOW." AND IT WAS ME.
[ LAUGHTER ] "THAT'S ME, AND I LOOK GOOD NOW.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS GUY?" [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT "NOTHING PERSONAL. IT'S ON NETFLIX.
YES [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT DO PEOPLE NEED
TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SPECIAL WHAT DO THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT
I DON'T KNOW IT'S AN HOUR LONG. AND IT'S MINDLESS STUPIDITY.
AND YOU'LL BE HUNGRY FOR COMEDY AN HOUR LATER. IT DOESN'T EVEN SINK IN.
IT'S NOTHING IMPORTANT, I'LL TELL YOU THAT. IT'S NOT LIKE -- YOU WON'T WALK
AWAY LIKE THIS -- "I REALLY HAVE A LOT TO THINK ABOUT NOW. Jimmy: YOU LEAVE GOING LIKE,
"I HAD A GOOD TIME I LAUGHED. YOU'RE LIKE, "THAT WAS DUMB,
YEAH." Jimmy: NO BUT IT'S A GOOD TIME KILLER
Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. OH, WE HAVE A CLIP.
Jimmy: YEAH HERE'S DAVID SPADE IN "NOTHING PERSONAL."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
I SIT DOWN AND SOMETIMES IT'S SUCH A NICE RESTAURANT
THAT THE FISH IS MARKET PRICE. YOU EVER SEEN THAT THEY DON'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW
MUCH IT IS I THINK THE WAITER TRIES TO GUESS HOW RICH YOU ARE
BECAUSE I GO, "HOW MUCH IS THE TUNA?" HE GOES, "UM -
THE TUNA IS -- BAH, BAH, BAH - THE TUNA IS 70." I GO, "70 BUCKS?
HE GOES, "40, 40." [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DAVID SPADE,
EVERYBODY. CHECK OUT HIS STANDUP SPECIAL "NOTHING PERSONAL" STREAMING
RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S THE CLEANEST JOKE WE
COULD USE. Jimmy: QUINTA BRUNSON JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. YEAH, STICK AROUND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO
CREATED AND STARS IN THE HIT ABC SHOW, "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY." THE ENTIRE FIRST SEASON IS
STREAMING NOW ON HULU. PLEASE WELCOME QUINTA BRUNSON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. THANK YOU
Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME
Jimmy: IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU. I'M A BIG FAN.
I'M A BIG FAN Jimmy: WOW. I LOVE THIS.
HOW LONG ARE YOU IN NEW YORK FOR? I'M ONLY HERE UNTIL TONIGHT
I LEAVE RIGHT AFTER TONIGHT. Jimmy: OKAY RIGHT AFTER THIS.
Jimmy: HAVE YOU HAD FUN SAY HI TO MY PHILLY PEOPLE, THE ROOTS, HEY Y'ALL
Jimmy: YEP, YEP [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'VE HAD A GOOD TIME
I HAD TO COME DO A DISNEY EVENT YESTERDAY. Jimmy: YEAH
OR MONDAY I HAD TO DO A DISNEY EVENT WHERE YOU GO, LIKE, TELL PEOPLE
WHAT YOUR SHOW'S ABOUT AND THEY GIVE YOU MONEY [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH Jimmy: YEAH AND THAT WAS FINE?
IT ALL WENT WELL EXCEPT FOR I RAN INTO THE EVER-ELUSIVE, EVER-TERRIFYING
DAVID BLAINE I ALMOST SAID DAVID SPADE BECAUSE I JUST SAW HIM, BUT
HE'S WONDERFUL NO, DAVID BLAINE DID MAGIC TO ME
HE DID MAGIC TO ME, Y'ALL! [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DID MAGIC TO YOU
TO ME Jimmy: NO, NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
I MEAN, HE WALKED UP TO A A GROUP OF PEOPLE. DAVID BLAINE HAS AN EXCITING
NEW SHOW COMING OUT, SO FREE PROMO FOR HIM, BUT - [ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS TESTING THE MAGIC OUT, AND HE CAME UP TO ME AND I WAS TALKING TO A MAN FROM ESPN
AND HE ASKED, "YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE A MAGIC TRICK? MY CHRISTIAN BLACK SELF SAID
"NO -- [ LAUGHTER ] VERY QUICKLY
BUT THE MAN I WAS WITH SAID "YES," AND HE HEARD THAT "YES. THAT MAN HAD A BIG, DEEP VOICE,
HE WENT, "YEAH," SO IT WAS LIKE -- THAT'S WHAT HE HEARD Jimmy: YEAH
SO HE TAKES OUT THE CARD. HE HAS ME PUT MY HAND IN A A FIST
I'M SCARED OF HIM. I JUST WANT Y'ALL TO KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING Jimmy: HE'S BEEN ON THE
SHOW, YEAH, HE'S - HE'S SCARY. I HEARD HE COUGHED UP FROGS OR
SOMETHING? Jimmy: HE THREW UP A FROG, YEAH, ON OUR SHOW, YEAH.
THAT'S SCARY. IT'S FUNNY AND -- BUT IT'S SCARY, SO --
Jimmy: YEAH, QUESTLOVE PASSED OUT, YEAH DID HE?
Jimmy: YEAH, HE PASSED OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT SO HE -
OKAY, SO HE TELLS ME TO PUT MY HAND IN A FIST. Jimmy: UH-HUH
SO I PUT MY HAND IN A FIST, BUT THE OTHER HAND - HE SAYS, "HERE, PICK A CARD.
I PICK A CARD. HE SAID PICK -- YOU KNOW, WHATEVER
"WHAT'S THE CARD?" I SAY, "EIGHT OF DIAMONDS. AND HE SAID, "OH, OKAY
WELL THEN PICK EITHER EIGHT OR DIAMONDS." AND SO I PICKED AN EIGHT, AND
HE WAS LIKE, "OPEN YOUR OTHER HAND." THERE WAS AN EIGHT WRITTEN ON
MY HAND. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] Jimmy: NO, HE'S AMAZING
SO THAT'S IT THAT'S WHEN YOU LEAVE, RIGHT I ALMOST CLOSED THE FIST
BACK UP AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YOU GO, "I'M GETTING OUT. THAT'S WHEN YOU THINK IT'S
OVER I SAID, "OKAY, THANK YOU, DAVID.
THANK YOU. BUT I WAS JUST THINKING LIKE, "DO A MAGIC TRICK.
SO, THEN I TWEETED ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I WANTED PEOPLE TO PRAY FOR ME AFTER THAT.
SO, I TWEETED -- [ LAUGHTER ] I DID.
I DON'T MESS WITH MAGIC, Y'ALL I WASN'T ALLOWED TO WATCH "HARRY POTTER.
I DON'T EVEN WATCH THE TEAM, THE MAGIC, PLAY. I DON'T --
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU DID TWEET IT I DON'T
I'M NOT WATCHING IT. Jimmy: ORLANDO MAGIC, NO. YOU GO, "DAVID BLAINE JUST DID
MAGIC TO ME. THIS IS NOT A JOKE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME FOR REAL.
JUST ROLLED UP ON ME AND MAGIC'ED ALL OVER THE PLACE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I WANTED PRAYER AND PROTECTION Jimmy: YES.
I WANTED -- SO, I TWEET THAT I THINK EVERYTHING'S FINE.
Jimmy: YEAH I HAVE WINE I HAVE A GOOD TIME
Jimmy: SURE LATER ON IN THE NIGHT, DAVID BLAINE DOES HIS
PRESENTATION, BECAUSE HE HAS HIS NEW SHOW ON NAT GEO. AND AT THE END OF IT, HE'S
LIKE, "AND MY NEXT GUEST ACTUALLY TWEETED ABOUT ME TONIGHT.
AND I WAS LIKE, "NO! [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "WE'RE DONE!
WE'RE DONE, MAN! WE'RE GOOD!" AND I WAS LIKE, "I'M NOT
GETTING UP." AND HE'S LIKE, "THAT'S OKAY, I'LL COME OVER TO YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S NOT HIS VOICE I'M MAKING HIM WAY MORE -- I
DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SOUNDS LIKE Jimmy: YEAH, HE DOESN'T TALK LIKE THAT AT ALL
HE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE THAT AT ALL Jimmy: "I'M COMING OVER TO
YOU! THAT'S NOT DAVID BLAINE. HE'S VERY LIKE -
YEAH, HE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY LIKE - Jimmy: "I'LL COME OVER TO
YOU. YEAH, THAT IS WHAT HE'S LIKE -
THAT'S REALLY GOOD Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YOU. SO HE GOES, "I'LL COME OVER
TO YOU!" AND THEN - [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: DAVID BLAINE COMES OVER, HE SITS NEXT TO ME, AND THEN HE SAYS, "IS THIS
YOUR WINE? CAN I HAVE A SIP?" IN MY HEAD, I'M SAYING, "NO,
COVID. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEN I COULDN'T SAY
ANYTHING BECAUSE I WAS SO SCARED AND I SAID, "PLEASE DON'T MAKE
ME DISAPPEAR." AND HE SAID, "I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I CAN HAVE A SIP OF
YOUR WINE. AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, AND HE BIT MY WINE GLASS AND CHEWED
IT AND ATE IT. [ AUDIENCE GROANS Jimmy: HE ATE THE GLASS
HE ATE THE GLASS. Jimmy: HE ATE THE GLASS AND ATE IT
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] THAT GUY IS UNBELIEVABLE YOU SEE THIS?
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YES, IT IS
NO, IT'S NOT. SO THEN I'M SITTING THERE MINDING MY BUSINESS.
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME. AND THEN HE SAYS, "PICK A CARD."
I SAID, "I DID THAT ONCE LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE. SO I HAD TO DO IT, AND THEN I
PICKED A CARD. AND THEN IT WAS EIGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE
I THINK EIGHT OF CLUBS AND HE SAID, "HERE, PUT IT IN MY WALLET.
I SAID, "OKAY, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME. AND THEN HE DID A MOVE AND HE
WAS LIKE, "I'M GOING MAKE IT CHANGE INTO THE EIGHT OF HEARTS."
I WAS LIKE, "WHATEVER. SO I JUST OPENED THE WALLET. IT'S NOT THERE
I SAID, "THE CARD'S NOT THERE. YOU SUCK NO."
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEN - Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE,
THIS STORY ISN'T IT RIDIC -- I PROMISE IT'S ENDING SOON
BUT THEN - Jimmy: NO, I LOVE IT. OH, BEFORE THAT, HE TOOK
A PICTURE OF THE CARD IN MY PHONE, YOU GUYS. MY PHONE, QUINTA BRUNSON'S
PHONE. TOOK A PICTURE, AND IT WAS THE EIGHT OF CLUBS AND HE PUT MY
PHONE DOWN OPENS HIS WALLET, THE CARD'S NOT THERE.
HE SAYS -- I SAID, "OH, YOU MESSED UP. HE SAID, "NO, I DIDN'T
LOOK AT YOUR PHONE." [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: AGAIN, IF YOU CLOSE
YOUR EYES, IT'S LIKE DAVID BLAINE IS RIGHT HERE "LOOK AT YOUR PHONE!
I LOOK AT THE PICTURE IN MY PHONE. IT HAD CHANGED TO THE EIGHT OF
HEARTS AND THAT'S WHEN I WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, I DON'T MESS WITH HIM. SO, DAVID, IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, DON'T PLAY WITH ME
DON'T, DON'T - [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU
BECAUSE -- [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
WE GET IT. DAVID, WE LOVE YOU QUINTA, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
"ABBOTT ELEMENTARY." YES, YES. Jimmy: CONGRATS ON THE SHOW
THANK YOU Jimmy: I HEARD ABOUT IT EVERYONE LOVES IT.
I GO - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU
THANK YOU GUYS Jimmy: YOU KNOW, THE SHOW'S AUDIENCE HAS QUADRUPLED SINCE
THE PILOT FIRST AIRED. QUADRUPLED QUADRUPLED.
Jimmy: YEAH, THAT IS -- IT'S A MASSIVE HIT. AND I HEARD ABOUT THIS, AND
SOMEONE'S LIKE, "TRUST ME, YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH THIS." AND I GO, "I'LL CHECK IT OUT."
IT IS SO FUNNY IT'S JUST -- I HAVEN'T SEEN A REALLY KIND OF FUNNY, NEW
SITCOM IN YEARS. THANK YOU Jimmy: AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE
MOCKUMENTARY STYLE SET IN AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. AND IT'S FUNNY AND I MEAN --
HOW DO YOU SET IT UP FOR PEOPLE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT IT'S FOR THE FAMILY, BY THE
WAY. EVERYONE - YES
TO SET IT UP, IT IS A SHOW ABOUT A GROUP OF SCHOOLTEACHERS IN PHILADELPHIA.
IT WAS INSPIRED BY MY MOM WHO WAS A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER IN PHILADELPHIA
SHE WAS MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER. AND THEN I WENT TO THE SCHOOL
WHERE SHE TAUGHT FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS, AND SO I JUST GOT TO SEE A LOT OF BEHIND THE
SCENES, WHICH KIND OF INSPIRED THE MOCKUMENTARY STYLE, JUST BEING BEHIND THE SCENES.
AND IT'S ABOUT TEACHERS WHO DO THEIR VERY BEST IN A A PHILADELPHIA PUBLIC SCHOOL,
WHICH IS VERY FUNNY, AND - Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT -- INSPIRING AND INTERESTING
AND MAKES YOU THINK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE STATE OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN AMERICA
Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE IT. IT'S A GREAT SHOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU DO A GREAT JOB THANK YOU
Jimmy: YOU'RE SO FUNNY, THE WRITERS, GREAT JOB THEY'RE SO GREAT.
Jimmy: EVERYBODY. ACTORS EVERYONE'S GOOD.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S QUINTA BRUNSON IN "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY."
TAKE A LOOK.
YOU? YEAH, HE JUST MOVED IN LAST
MONTH. AND THAT'S GOING WELL YEP, HE'S SO GREAT.
SO, HE KNEW YOU AND WAS LIKE, "MORE! WELL, I THINK HE SOUNDS LIKE
A REALLY NEAT GUY, RIGHT OH, SURE. YEAH.
HEY, THERE'S MY GUY BLACK IT'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED
ZACH YOU MUST BE AVA. YOU WERE ALL THINKING IT.
I SEE YOU. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT WE ALWAYS LOOK AT YOU LIKE
THIS IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, ZACH
WELL, IF IT ISN'T MY PIZZA CRUST QUEEN. WE WENT OUT TO EAT LAST WEEK
AND I ATE ALL HIS PIZZA CRUST. I DON'T LIKE TO WASTE FOOD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: IT'S FAST. IT'S FUNNY QUINTA BRUNSON
CHECK OUT THE FIRST SEASON OF "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY" STREAMING NOW ON HULU.
COME BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I WILL.
Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHEF DANIEL HUMM. STICK AROUND
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE CHEF AND OWNER OF ELEVEN MADISON PARK, WHICH HAS THREE
MICHELIN STARS, AND IT IS CONSIDERED ONE OF THE BEST RESTAURANTS IN THE WORLD
HE JUST LAUNCHED ELEVEN MADISON HOME, A WEEKLY PLANT-BASED MEAL SUBSCRIPTION
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME CHEF DANIEL HUMM.
*
Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHEF
I ALWAYS FORGET HOW TALL YOU ARE EVERY TIME I SEE YOU WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW
YOU'VE BEEN ON THE SHOW MANY TIMES. YOU'VE COOKED FOR US
WE'VE DONE GAMES DO YOU REMEMBER THE ONE WHERE I WAS UPSIDE-DOWN?
I STILL REMEMBER. Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S LIKE I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD TASTE
FOOD DIFFERENTLY IF YOU WERE UPSIDE-DOWN AND IT TASTES THE SAME
YEAH -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FANS OF YOU AND
ELEVEN MADISON PARK AND ALL THESE RESTAURANTS HAVE CLOSED AT THE START OF THE PANDEMIC,
AND THEN YOU REOPENED LAST SUMMER AND YOU JUST ANNOUNCED THAT
IT'S ALL PLANT-BASED YOU CHANGED THE -- I MEAN, YOU WON AWARDS
YOU WERE THE BEST RESTAURANT IN THE WORLD. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT RISK
AND WHAT HAPPENED? YOU KNOW, WHEN I STARTED THE CAREER, I WENT AT IT WITH AN
ATHLETE'S MENTALITY, AND I WANTED TO WORK FOR THE BEST. I WANTED TO BE THE BEST.
I WANTED TO REACH EVERY ACCOLADE THAT WAS OUT THERE. AND AS YOU SAID, IN 2017, WE
BECAME THE BEST RESTAURANT IN THE WORLD. AND SHORTLY THEREAFTER THE
PANDEMIC HIT, AND IT WAS DEVASTATING FOR OUR INDUSTRY AND IT GAVE US TIME TO SIT BACK
AND RETHINK EVERYTHING AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT MOUNTAIN TOP THAT I CLIMBED FOR
SO MANY YEARS AND HOW BROKEN SO MANY OF THOSE SYSTEMS WERE AND ALSO HOW EMPTY I FELT AND THAT
THERE IS MUCH MORE TO DO THAN ACCOLADES. DURING THE PANDEMIC, NOT
KNOWING IF THERE WAS GOING TO BE A FUTURE OF ELEVEN MADISON PARK, I TURNED THE RESTAURANT
INTO A COMMUNITY KITCHEN AND WE COOKED OVER A MILLION MEALS FOR FOOD INSECURE
NEW YORKERS. Jimmy: WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AMAZING, BUDDY AND AS GOOD AS THAT WAS, OF COURSE, IT REALLY FILLED MY
TANK IT WAS REALLY SATISFYING, AND I RECONNECTED WITH FOOD IN A WAY
I WASN'T CONNECTED TO IN A VERY LONG TIME. AND I REALIZED THAT FOOD CAN
MAKE CHANGE AND THAT FOOD IS MY LANGUAGE SO WHEN IT WAS TIME TO REOPEN
THE RESTAURANT, FOR ME, IT WAS CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THE FUTURE WAS PLANT-BASED AND THAT THE
WORLD DIDN'T NEED ANOTHER PREPARATION OF BUTTER POACHED LOBSTER OR CRISPY SKINNED DUCK
WE NEEDED TO USE OUR CREATIVITY TO MAKE THAT FUTURE MORE DELICIOUS, MORE BEAUTIFUL, MORE
MEANINGFUL Jimmy: SO, YOU CREATED ELEVEN MADISON HOME --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE. THIS IS THE BOX.
THIS IS THE BOX YOU GET. AND RIGHT NOW IT'S IN NEW YORK CITY, RIGHT
BUT IF YOU GO TO ELEVENMADISONHOME.COM, YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS -- WHAT IS YOUR
MISSION WITH THIS? YOU KNOW, SO MANY OF OUR GUESTS NOW LEAVING THE
RESTAURANT ARE TELLING ME, "OH, IF PLANT-BASED COULD BE LIKE THIS, I WOULD EAT PLANT-BASED
ALL THE TIME." AND SO, THE IDEA OF THIS IS -- AND IT'S NOT A NEW IDEA, BUT IT
IS MUCH MORE URGENT THAN IT HAS BEEN AND SO THE MISSION IS TO EAT
PLANT-BASED ONE DAY A WEEK WE CAN ALL MAKE A CHANGE, ONE DAY A WEEK, AND IT WILL MAKE A
A HUGE CHANGE ON THE PLANET. Jimmy: YOU WERE NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE ME ONE OF THE FIRST
BOXES. EARLY ON I HAD COVID AND I DIDN'T LEAVE MY HOUSE, LIKE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. I WAS BY MYSELF. I SAID "HEY BUD, IF YOU HAVE
ANY SPARE FOOD, I'M HERE I'M BY MYSELF. AND YOU GO, "WELL, I'M ACTUALLY
DOING THIS THING." AND YOU SENT ME THIS BOX AND IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING.
I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU GET THE BOX YOU OPEN THE BOX, AND IT IS
JUST -- JUST LIKE THIS WE DIDN'T JUST DO THIS FOR TV. IT LOOKS THIS BEAUTIFUL.
LIKE THAT. AND THIS IS A FULL DAY, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER,
SNACKS, OF THE MOST AMAZING FOOD AND A NICE, BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN -- YOU HAVE A STORY
ABOUT THE FOOD, WHERE IT COMES FROM, THE FARMS, HOW YOU CAN MAKE IT IF THERE ARE THINGS TO
MAKE SOMETIMES THERE'S JUST STUFF YOU EAT OUT OF THE JAR
IT'S MEANT TO BE REALLY SUPER SIMPLE IT'S MEANT TO TELL A STORY AS
WELL, LIKE THE RESTAURANT DOES Jimmy: THE FRESHEST CARROTS --
OATS AND CARROTS. WE ALSO HAVE PRODUCTS IN HERE OF OTHER PEOPLE THAT WE LOVE
WHO ARE DOING GREAT THINGS IN THE PLANT SPACE. AND SO -
Jimmy: AND WHEN YOU BUY THIS, ALSO, YOU GIVE BACK AS WELL, RIGHT?
SO, FOR US, IT WAS CLEAR THAT AFTER THE PANDEMIC, I WANTED TO CREATE THIS CIRCULAR
ECOSYSTEM OF -- AT ELEVEN MADISON PARK EVERY DINER MAKES FIVE MEALS
FOR PEOPLE IN NEED WITH EVERY RESERVATION. AND SO, IT WAS CLEAR THAT WITH
EVERY BUSINESS GOING FORWARD, THAT HAS TO BE BUILT INTO THE BUSINESS
AND SO IT IS WITH THIS BOX AS WELL Jimmy: YEAH, SO YOU'RE
GIVING BACK AS WELL. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHAT A A RISK, WHAT A GAMBLE THIS IS,
BUT WHAT A GREAT THING YOU'RE DOING, AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE PROPS IN THE WORLD
YOU'RE BRILLIANT YOU'RE A GENIUS. NOT REALLY, BUT APPRECIATE
IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I LOVE HAVING YOU ON
DANIEL HUMM. CHEF DANIEL HUMM TO SIGN UP FOR ELEVEN MADISON
HOME, GO TO ELEVENMADISONHOME.COM. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM LUCKY DAYE. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: PERFORMING "OVER" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM
"CANDY DRIP," GIVE IT UP FOR LUCKY DAYE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * OH OOH OH OOH O OH OOH
OVER AND OVER AND OVER * * OH OOH OH OH OH OH OOH OHH OHH *
* * LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA * * EVERY TIME WE LINK UP
IT'S ONLY US THERE WE'RE THINKIN' WILL WE GET THERE *
* IS IT WRONG IS IT RIGHT YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU BUT I BE GETTIN'
MIXED SIGNALS * * WHY YOU SLOW DOWN DON'T STOP
THIS GREEN LIGHT * * NOW YOU CALLIN' ME SPECIA WHEN YOU KNO
I CAN'T HAVE YOU * * WHEN I'M ON TO THE NEXT ONE *
OH NOW YOU WAN GET AGGRESSIVE * * OH WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU KEEP ON MAKIN' BELIEVE NIGHTMARES TURNE INTO A DREAM *
* IF YOU'RE SO TOXIC TO M WHAT AM I FIENDIN' * * 'CAUSE I THOUGH
IT WAS OVE GOT ME THINKIN MY FEELINGS OVER *
* YOU KEEP DOIN' IT OVER AND OVE YOU KEEP CALLIN' ME BACK *
* I'M JUST TRYNA GET CLOSUR BUT YOU PULLIN' ME CLOSER AND CLOSER *
* PHONE RINGIN' LIK OVER AND OVE 'CAUSE YOU KEE
CALLIN' ME BACK * * LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA L
WHY YOU KEEP CALLIN' ME BACK * * LA LA LA LA L
BACK OVER AND OVER AND OVER * LOVE ME THEN YOU SWITCH U
I'D RATHER WE NEVER PICK U BUT CAN WE SLIP UP AND MIX UP SOMETIMES *
* YOU SAY IT DON'T MEAN I JUST WANT IT WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT *
* AM I CRAZY FOR WAITIN I MIGHT SLIDE * * NOW YOU CALLIN' ME SPECIA
WHEN YOU KNO I CAN'T HAVE YOU * * WHEN I'M ON
TO THE NEXT ON OH NOW YOU WAN GET AGGRESSIVE *
* OH WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KEEP ON MAKIN' BELIEVE NIGHTMARES TURNE
INTO A DREAM * * IF YOU'RE SO TOXIC TO M WHAT AM I FIENDIN' *
* 'CAUSE I THOUGH IT WAS OVE GOT ME THINKIN
MY FEELINGS OVER * * YOU KEEP DOIN' IT OVER AND OVE
YOU KEEP CALLIN' ME BACK * * I'M JUST TRYNA GET CLOSUR BUT YOU PULLIN' ME
CLOSER AND CLOSER * * PHONE RINGIN' LIK OVER AND OVE
CAUSE YOU KEEP CALLIN' ME BACK * * LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA L WHY YOU KEEP CALLIN' ME BACK *
* LA LA LA LA LA LA BACK O OVER AND OVER AND OVER *
* NOW YOU WALKIN' ON A THIN LINE WE BEEN THROUGH IT
LIKE TEN TIMES * * I'MA PUT YOU IN LIN YEAH I HAD YOU
ON AN INCLINE * * NOW I DON'T EVE WANT TO REPL
I'MA HAVE TO DECLINE * * YEAH YOU SHOW M I DON'T WANT TO REWIND
YEAH * * KNOW YOU A TE BUT THAT ATTITUD
AIN'T FINE * * * KNOW YOU A TE
BUT THAT ATTITUD AIN'T FINE HEY *
* * OVER AND OVER AND OVER * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: LUCKY DAYE, "CANDY DRIP" IS OUT NOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MY THANKS TO DAVID SPADE, QUINTA BRUNSON, CHEF DANIEL HUMM, LUCKY DAYE ONCE
AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE