Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ICE-T,
BETTY GILPIN MUSICAL GUEST PUSHA T. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1637 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: AH, WELCOME EVERYBODY! THANK YOU!
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. YOU'RE HERE!
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
THANK YOU. THAT -- THAT APPLAUSE LASTED LONGER THAN CNN PLUS
Steve: OH [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, TODAY IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT THE STREAMING SERVICE CNN PLUS IS
SHUTTING DOWN JUST 32 DAYS AFTER IT LAUNCHED. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, CNN PLUS IS GONE, WHICH MEANS IN SIX MONTHS, IT'LL BE TURNED INTO SPIRIT
HALLOWEEN PLUS [ LAUGHTER ] 32 DAYS, OH, MY --
I'VE HAD AVOCADOS THAT LAST LONGER THAN THAT [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, IT WAS DOING SO BADLY, ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS CALL THEIR ONE SUBSCRIBER, LIKE,
"HEY, DOUG, WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU COULD TELL THIS WAS ON THE HORIZON THOUGH WHEN CNN HAD A CNN COUNTDOWN CLOCK TO THE
END OF CNN PLUS. IT WAS VERY INTERESTING. [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS, OR WHAT WE THINK MIGHT BE NEWS DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
PIERS MORGAN INTERVIEWED FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP, AND HE RELEASED A PROMO THAT SHOWS
TRUMP STORMING OUT AFTER REFUSING TO ADMIT THAT HE LOST THE ELECTION
BUT NOW TRUMP IS CLAIMING HE NEVER STORMED OUT, AND THAT PIERS MORGAN ACTUALLY DOCTORED
THE FOOTAGE. [ LAUGHTER ] IN TRUMP'S DEFENSE, I REALLY
DON'T SEE HIM STORMING ANYWHERE I JUST -
[ LAUGHTER ] UH, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE CLIP, HERE -- HERE IT IS
OF THE YEAR. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE REAL
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER LET'S FINISH UP THE INTERVIEW. MORGAN VERSUS TRUMP
TURN THE CAMERA OFF VERY DISHONEST [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: MY ONLY QUESTION IS, HAS -- HAS TRUMP BEEN LIVING AT MAR-A-LAGO, OR UNDER A HEAT
LAMP AT GOLDEN CORRAL? [ LAUGHTER ] I -- I WAS WONDERING
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I WAS WONDERING THAT HE'S DONE!
Steve: NICE Jimmy: FLIP HIM OVER! Steve: TEXAS TOAST.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SPEAKING OF CRAZY THINGS ON TV, LAST NIGHT WAS A
A NEW EPISODE OF "THE MASKED SINGER," AND THE JACK-IN-THE-BOX WAS REVEALED TO
BE RUDY GIULIANI WATCH THIS
FORMER ASSOCIATE ATTORNEY GENERAL -- OH, MY GOD.
FORMER MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, RUDY GIULIANI * I'M HERE
TO TELL YOU HONE THAT I'M BAD TO THE BONE *
GET THAT BONE, COME ON! * BAD TO THE BONE BAD REAL BAD
VERY BAD * [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY
TAKES TALENT NOT TO HIT ANY NOTES. I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY --
[ LAUGHTER ] AFTER SEEING THAT, THE CDC REINSTATED THE MASK MANDATE.
THEY'RE LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ] "PUT THE MASK BACK ON NOW.
NOW WE'RE PUTTING THE MASK BACK ON." THAT'S RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "JUST PUT IT -- FOR ALL OF US. WELL, THIS IS NUTS
LAST NIGHT, THE ARMY -- THE ARMY DROPPED PARACHUTISTS INTO THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS
BASEBALL STADIUM, BUT THE FAA FORGOT TO TELL THE CAPITOL IT WAS HAPPENING, SO THEY THOUGHT
THE PLANE WAS A THREAT AND EVACUATED THE CAPITOL. [ LAUGHTER ]
COME ON, YOU CAN'T SNEAK UP ON THE CAPITOL LIKE THAT! [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S LIKE THROWING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR SOMEONE WHO JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK
IT'S LIKE, "HEY! CAN'T DO THAT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THANKFULLY, EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL NANCY PELOSI GOT BACK AND WAS LIKE, "DAMN IT, WHO THE
HELL TOOK MY PODIUM AGAIN? ALL RIGHT, COME ON NOW IT'S NOT FUNNY."
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY GUYS, GET THIS APPARENTLY A SOURCE CLOSE TO
BERNIE SANDERS SAID THAT HE MIGHT RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2024 IF JOE BIDEN DOESN'T.
SO I GUESS THE DEMOCRATIC TICKET IN 2024 IS BETWEEN THE MUPPETS IN THE BALCONY
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "STATLER 2024! HEY, HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS
TODAY IS QUEEN ELIZABETH'S 96th BIRTHDAY. HEY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND TO CELEBRATE, THE ROYAL
FAMILY POSTED A BRAND-NEW PHOTO OF HER THIS IS REAL
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WOW, THE NEW "GAME OF THRONES" SPINOFF LOOKS GREAT. I THINK IT'S -
[ LAUGHTER ] WHO KNOWS? I'M TELLING YOU, SHE'S GOT TO
STOP FEEDING THE CORGIS. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING I THINK --
[ LAUGHTER ] LOOKS LIKE SHE'S STARRING IN A A BUDWEISER COMMERCIAL
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THE QUEEN TURNED 96 TODAY, AND WE WANTED TO WISH
HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY THE ONLY WAY WE KNOW HOW. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO -
[ DRUMROLL ] PLEASE WELCOME THE WAIT STAFF FROM THE TIMES SQUARE
APPLEBEE'S COME ON OUT, GUYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* APPLEBEE'S IS FUN IT'S TRU APPLEBEE'S IS FU
IT'S TRUE * * ESPECIALLY WHEN WE SING FOR YO
ESPECIALLY WHE WE SING FOR YOU * * GOOD NEWS I
WE SING FOR FREE GOOD NEWS IS WE SING FOR FREE *
* BAD NEWS IS WE SING OFF KE BAD NEWS I
WE SING OFF KEY * * SOUND OFF HAPP
SOUND OF BIRTHDAY * * HAPPY BIRTHDA
TO YOU * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GUYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, EVERYBODY
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THAT WAS GOOD. NOT BAD.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S THE REAL -- Steve: AW, SUCH A THRILL.
Jimmy: TIMES SQUARE APPLEBEE'S, GO GET THEIR AUTOGRAPH TONIGHT, YEAH.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WELL, PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS
IN FLORIDA, A BRIDE AND WEDDING CATERER HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY LACING THE LASAGNA AT
HER WEDDING WITH CANNABIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DON'T CLAP FOR THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] Steve: COME ON. Jimmy: PEOPLE WERE
SUSPICIOUS AFTER WATCHING THE BRIDE AND GROOM FEED EACH OTHER THE ENTIRE WEDDING CAKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT DEFINITELY EXPLAINS WHY THE FATHER/DAUGHTER DANCE WAS
TO A FOUR-HOUR GRATEFUL DEAD BOOTLEG. [ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, I HEARD ABOUT A MAN IN NORTH CAROLINA WHO ROBBED A A DOLLAR STORE, REGRETTED IT,
AND THEN RETURNED ALL THE CASH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, APPARENTLY THE GUY LOOKED
AROUND THE STORE AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU GUYS NEED THIS MORE THAN I DO.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, A 21-YEAR-OLD CHIHUAHUA HAS OFFICIALLY
CLAIMED THE TITLE OF THE WORLD'S OLDEST DOG [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
THE DOG IS SO OLD HE FETCHES THE TENNIS BALL, AND THEN PUTS IT ON THE BOTTOM OF HIS WALKER
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, EVERYBODY.
ICE-T IS HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ICE-T!
THAT'S MY DUDE BETTY GILPIN IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC. HIS NEW ALBUM'S OUT TOMORROW NIGHT.
PUSHA T IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS," EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: @CHEFDISNEY. SHE SAYS, "CAPTAIN SLOTH
HE'LL GET TO IT WHEN HE GETS TO IT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
GIVE HIM TIME.
WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS ON "LAW & ORDER: SVU,"
WHICH RETURNS WITH NEW EPISODES APRIL 28th RIGHT HERE ON NBC THE ONE AND ONLY ICE-T IS HERE
TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ONE OF OUR FAVORITE GUESTS
Steve: LOVELY MAN Jimmy: PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER IN THE NEW SERIES "GASLIT,"
WHICH PREMIERES SUNDAY ON STARZ. BETTY GILPIN IS HERE, COMING
BACK TO THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND AS I SAID, WE'VE GOT GREAT
MUSIC FROM -- PUSHA T IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PUSHA T.
"IT'S ALMOST DRY" IS THE ALBUM, AND I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS GOING TO BE A GIANT, GIANT,
GIANT RECORD GET READY FOR THAT IT'S AWESOME
GUYS, RIGHT NOW IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO
* * HASHTAG
HASHTAGS * * Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING
EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC.
SO, SINCE THE NEW TRAILER FOR "THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER" CAME OUT THIS WEEK -- I CAN'T WAIT.
IT LOOKS AWESOME I SENT OUT THE HASTAG #REJECTEDSUPERHEROES
AND I ASKED YOU GUYS TO SHARE SOME OF YOUR FUNNIEST IDEAS FOR A BAD SUPERHERO NAME
WITHIN MINUTES, IT WAS A A TRENDING TOPIC, SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG.
[ APPLAUSE ] NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE REJECTED
SUPERHEROES FROM YOU GUYS. THIS FIRST ONE HERE IS FROM @MELLOTRON42
Steve: OOH. Jimmy: WHAT IS A MELLOTRON, JAMES?
JAMES, THAT'S MORE LIKE -- [ IMITATING INSTRUMENT ] DO YOU HAVE MELLOTRON?
* Steve: OOH, BEATLES * IT'S BEATLE-Y
IT'S BEATLES AND IT'S JOHN * * AND IT'S PAUL
AND RING AND OF COURS IT'S GEORGE TOO *
* ALL RIGHT. THAT'S A MELLOTRON
[ APPLAUSE ] I LIKE THAT SOUND. ALL RIGHT, SO MELLOTRON42,
THESE ARE HIS BAD SUPERHERO NAMES. HE SAYS, "SUPERMAN BUN."
OH, THERE YOU GO [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: OH, BOY.
Jimmy: YOU MIND IF I CRASH AT YOUR PLACE FOR A WEEK Steve: WAIT, THAT'S YOUR
SUPER POWER? Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @GHOST7.
THEY SAY "THE WORDLER. OH, THERE YOU GO, YEAH, INTERESTING.
[ LAUGHTER ] Steve: SPOIL IT FOR YOU Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@GOLOBADAM HE SAYS, "CRYPTO-MAN HE'S THE MOST POWERFUL
SUPERHERO IN THE -- OH, WAIT, NEVER MIND, NOT NOW. WAIT, HE IS AGAIN!
NO, MY BAD, NOT NOW. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE IS FROM
@RYANBARTHOLOMEE HE SAYS "THE DAD JOKER." OH, THERE YOU GO, YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT SHOULD BE A CHARACTER I LIKE THAT ONE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ARE THERE ANY GOOD DAD JOKES HAVE YOU HEARD ANY
Steve: LATELY Jimmy: YEAH OR OLD ONES?
YOU GOT ANY GOOD ONES? Steve: OH, MY GOD I'VE GOT SO MANY, I CAN'T EVEN
REMEMBER ONE Jimmy: I KNOW, I'M TRYING TO THINK OF A GOOD DAD JOKE THAT I
HEARD. NO, I TOLD THAT ALREADY ON THE SHOW
Steve: WAS IT DIRTY Jimmy: NO Steve: WAS IT FILTHY?
Jimmy: NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] UH -
Steve: COME ON! ONE. Jimmy: I'M ON A SEAFOOD
DIET Steve: WHAT'S THAT? Jimmy: FISH, YOU KNOW,
SALMON [ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ]
TURN IT -- LITTLE TWIST. TURNING IT ON ITS HEAD YEAH, EXACTLY.
Steve: I EXPECTED YOU TO SAY, "I SEE FOOD, I EAT IT." Jimmy: THIS IS FROM
@BRIGGREENE. HE SAYS "THE MANSCAPED CRUSADER."
OH, INTERESTING. [ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS FROM @CHEFDISNEY
Steve: OOH. Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD NAME YOU CAN GET THAT
Steve: CHEF DISNEY? Jimmy: I'M ASSUMING, RIGHT? Steve: YOU THINK HE WORKS AT
DISNEY Jimmy: I DON'T. [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: DO YOU THINK HE'S A CHEF Jimmy: I DON'T THINK -- CHEF
DISNEY IS SUCH A -- I MEAN, YOU'D THINK THAT'D BE TAKEN UP Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: BY THE CHEF FROM DISNEY Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: MAYBE SHE IS THE CHEF AT DISNEY. I HAVE NO IDEA
I DON'T THINK SO Steve: BUT THERE'S NO NUMBER AFTER IT
Jimmy: NO, YOU'D THINK IT'D BE -- WHAT, LIKE - Steve: LIKE CHEF DISNEY
FIVE - Jimmy: HUNDRED, YEAH, YEAH, NO
THE ONLY -- LIKE THIS IS THE ORIGINAL CHEF DISNEY Steve: WOW.
OOH LA LA. Jimmy: MAKING - MAKING -- BE OUR GUEST
I KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] AND MAKING MICKEY MOUSE
PANCAKES FOR OVER 50 YEARS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] CHEF DISNEY.
SHE SAYS "CAPTAIN SLOTH. HE'LL GET TO IT WHEN HE GETS TO IT."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LIKE, ANY TIME GUY'S ON HIS WAY
HE'LL FIGHT CRIME. THIS ONE'S FROM @JEREMYIZZY1 HE SAYS "THE HOT FLASH."
OH, THERE YOU GO [ LAUGHTER ] JEREMY IZZY HAD TO PUT A ONE
AFTER IT Steve: YEAH, SEE? THERE'S --
Jimmy: BECAUSE THERE'S ALREADY ONE BEFORE JEREMY IZZY Steve: NO CHEF DISNEY, MAN.
Jimmy: NO, CHEF DISNEY. HE NAILED IT Steve: I MIGHT GO DO, LIKE,
@CHEFDISNEY2 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU'D PROBABLY GET A
A LOT OF FOLLOWERS Steve: YEAH, I'LL PRETEND I'M CHEF DISNEY.
THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE Jimmy: I DON'T THINK THIS PERSON IS A CHEF AT DISNEY
Steve: REALLY Jimmy: I DON'T THINK YOU'D --
Steve: YOU THINK DISNEY WOULD GO, "DON'T." Jimmy: YEAH
I THINK DISNEY WOULD SAY NO AND I THINK YOU PROBABLY ALSO, AS THE CHEF FROM DISNEY, YOU WOULD
PROBABLY BE LIKE, "YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT ENOUGH GOING ON." Steve: YEAH
I'M BUSY [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I DON'T WANT TO BRING
MY WORK -- YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO BRING MY WORK TO MY - Steve: I COOK FOR ABOUT A
A MILLION PEOPLE A DAY Jimmy: YEAH I WANT TO GO ON TWITTER AND
JUST, LIKE, SAY WHAT I DON'T LIKE ABOUT SOMETHING OR -- Steve: COMPLAIN ABOUT GOOFY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE CHEF DISNEY,
IT'LL GET TRACED BACK TO YOU YOU GET BUSTED - Steve: THEY'LL GO, "HEY, DID
YOU SAY THIS ABOUT GOOFY?" "YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
"YOU'RE FIRED. Jimmy: OUR LAST ONE HERE IS FROM @MYLACARDERO.
SHE SAYS "JERSEY THOR. THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR
FAVORITES, GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAG. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ICE-T
EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS ON THE VERY POPULAR
LONG-RUNNING TELEVISION SERIES "LAW & ORDER: SVU," WHICH RETURNS WITH NEW EPISODES
APRIL 28th, RIGHT HERE ON NBC. PLEASE WELCOME THE ONE, THE ONLY, ICE-T.
* Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS.
I ALWAYS LOVE WHEN YOU COME ON THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK TO THE SHOW, BUD.
THEY JUST TOLD ME I'VE BEEN HERE NINE TIMES. Jimmy: ISN'T THAT CRAZY
THAT'S CRAZY, RIGHT THERE Jimmy: I WANT YOU TO BE HERE 100 TIMES.
LET'S GO. Jimmy: I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BUD
I HAVE SOMETHING HERE THAT I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER THOUGHT I'D SEE IN MY LIFETIME, AND
I'VE BEEN A FAN OF YOURS FOR A A LONG TIME. YOU ARE ON A CHEERIOS BOX.
[ LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT THAT THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MADE IT Jimmy: WOW, HONEY NUT
CHEERIOS IF YOU EVER TOLD ME AS I KID, LIKE, "ICE-T IS GOING TO BE ON
A CEREAL BOX --" [ LAUGHTER IMPOSSIBLE. YOU COULD PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD
AND SAID -- I'D BE LIKE, "NO NO WAY IS THAT GOING TO EVER HAPPEN."
Jimmy: EVER AND I'D BE SHOT, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I LOVE -- ARE YOU A FAN, OR DID THEY REACH OUT
HOW DID IT HAPPEN? THEY REACHED OUT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
I'M A LITTLE OLDER NOW, AND THEY WANTED SOMEBODY TO REPRESENT HEART HEALTH
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN A A CHANGING OF THE GUARDS, JIMMY.
YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE THAT WERE SCARED OF US IN HIP-HOP ARE GONE NOW
SO YOU GO TO THE CEOs OF THESE BIG COMPANIES, THEY'RE LIKE 45-YEAR-OLD GUYS, YOU KNOW, OR
WOMEN, AND THEY'RE JUST LIKE, "I LOVE YOU. I MEAN, THAT'S HOW WE MADE IT
INTO THE SUPER BOWL. YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY WHO WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL WERE THE BAD
GUYS, YOU KNOW 50 AND EM ALL OF -- SNOOP AND EVERYBODY.
Jimmy: YEAH SO THE GUARDS HAVE CHANGED, AND NOW THE PEOPLE IN POWER
LOVE HIP-HOP, AND I'M ON A A CHEERIOS BOX [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: I THINK IT'S GREAT ISN'T THAT WILD.
THAT'S SO GOOD IT'S AN HONOR. IT ACTUALLY ALSO INSPIRED
SOMETHING CALLED THE ICE-T CHALLENGE. THIS IS A THING THAT YOU DID
NOT START. YOUR FANS STARTED THIS THEY STARTED IT
WHAT THEY WOULD DO, IS THEY'D GO IN THE STORES AND THEY'D FLIP THE BOX AROUND TO WHERE
THEY SAID, "ICE, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE FRONT OF THE BOX.
AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING THESE BOXES AROUND
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S REAL CRAZY. Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN GROCERY STORES PEOPLE ARE JUST GOING IN,
THEY'RE GOING, "NO." [ LAUGHTER ] I LIKE THAT CHALLENGE.
IT'S COOL, IT'S COOL. YOU KNOW, IT'S FUN NOBODY GETS HURT
Jimmy: I'M GOING TO DO IT THIS WEEKEND YEAH.
Jimmy: I THINK IT'S FUN [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK IT'S GOOD.
I'LL GET THE KIDS DOING IT TOO YOU KNOW, I FOLLOW YOU ON THE SOCIALS.
YOU'RE A GREAT FOLLOW. I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE. I DO LOVE FOLLOWING YOU.
BUT THIS THING CAUGHT MY EYE THE OTHER DAY, AND I WAS CONCERNED.
I GO, "OH, MY GOSH." AND IT GOT NATIONAL ATTENTION. THIS IS FROM YOU
@FINALLEVEL, IT SAYS, "I WAS ROBBED AT A GAS STATION IN NEW JERSEY LAST NIGHT.
AFTER MY HAND STOPPED TREMBLING, I MANAGED TO CALL THE COPS
THEY WERE QUICK TO RESPOND AND CALM ME DOWN MY MONEY IS GONE
THE POLICE ASKED ME IF I KNEW WHO DID IT, AND I SAID, 'YES IT WAS PUMP NUMBER NINE.'"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S A GOOD JOKE [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT JOKE GOT A MILLION LIKES. I NEVER GOT A MILLION LIKES ON
TWITTER BEFORE I GOT TO TELL THE TRUTH. MY BUDDY CAZ, FROM ROLLIN'
SIXTIES -- Jimmy: YEAH -- HIT ME WITH THAT JOKE,
AND I KIND OF REWROTE IT, AND I PUT I WAS IN NEW JERSEY AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF
SO, I KIND OF PLAGIARIZED HIS JOKE HE GETS SOME CREDIT, TOO
Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, GOOD, CAZ, YEAH, YOU GET
A LITTLE - YEAH, CAZ HOOKED IT UP. Jimmy: YEAH, HE HOOKED UP
THAT WAS - BUT IT WAS ON THE NEWS. I'M WATCHING, YOU KNOW,
CHANNEL -- CNN "ICE-T GETS ROBBED." PEOPLE LIKE NEGATIVE STUFF
I THINK WHAT CAUGHT EVERYONE'S ATTENTION WAS THE FACT, "OH, SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED."
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE LIKE STUFF THAT HAPPENS BAD TO PEOPLE IF IT SAID ICE-T WON SOMETHING,
THAT SOMETHING GREAT HAPPENED, THEY'D SCROLL RIGHT BY "HE GOT ROBBED."
[ LAUGHTER ] "WHAT HAPPENED?" YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
AND THEN I GOT THEM IN THE END WITH PUMP NINE, YOU KNOW I'M SAYING
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU GOT THEM WITH THE JOKE
PUMP NINE -- I LOVED IT. [ APPLAUSE ] YOU ALSO DO A THING, A
A RECURRING THING ON TWITTER, A THING CALLED ICE COLD FACTS. YEAH.
Jimmy: AND THESE ARE INSPIRATIONAL SOMETIMES, MOTIVATIONAL TWEETS FROM YOU,
PIECES OF ADVICE FROM YOU. THINGS I'VE HEARD, OR THINGS I MADE UP, JUST THINGS THAT
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT ARE ACTUALLY FACTS Jimmy: I THOUGHT THAT WE
COULD GO THROUGH A FEW OF YOUR TWEETS AND YOU CAN TELL US A A LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOUR
THOUGHTS BEHIND THEM LET'S GO. Jimmy: OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S PRETTY GOOD TOO "LET'S GO" IS EVEN GOOD.
THAT'S A FACT WE'RE ABOUT TO GO. Jimmy: LET'S GO
[ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE ABOUT TO GO. THAT'S RIGHT
ALL RIGHT, ICE COLD FACT "AT SOME POINT YOU'RE GOING TO REALIZE THAT IF YOU DON'T GO
GET IT, IT'S NOT GOING TO GET GOT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: THAT IS -- DUDE, IT'S GOOD I MEAN, YOU JUST CAN'T SIT
ON THE -- YOU CAN'T SAY "I'M GONNA GO TO GYM" AND JUST SIT ON THE COUCH
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE JUST AUTOMATICALLY GOING TO GET IN SHAPE.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO Jimmy: YEAH AT ANYTHING YOU WANT, NO
ONE -- I'LL BACK THAT UP WITH NO ONE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING WITH YOUR DREAM.
WHATEVER YOUR DREAM IS, IT'S YOURS. SO IF YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN,
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN PERSONALLY DON'T EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN
BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. Jimmy: YEAH
I LOVE THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ] ICE COLD FACT. UH-OH
Jimmy: "A LIE WILL GET AROUND THE WORLD TWICE BEFORE THE TRUTH CAN GET ITS PANTS
ON." [ LAUGHTER ] KIND OF GOING BACK TO WHAT
I'M SAYING PEOPLE LOVE THE LIES, THEY LOVE THE DRAMA, SO DRAMA SPREADS
REALLY, REALLY FAST, YOU KNOW? SOMETHING THAT'S TRUE AND POSITIVE, UNFORTUNATELY, HUMANS
DON'T CONNECT TO THAT. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST A CASE STUDY IN OUR HUMAN NATURE.
Jimmy: YEAH AND THEN -- YEAH BUT I LIKE IT CAN GO AROUND THE
WORLD BEFORE THE TRUTH CAN GET ITS PANTS ON YEAH, BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN
GET UP WHAT THEY LYING ABOUT? Jimmy: YEAH, WHAT'S THAT
ABOUT. WHAT THEY LYING ABOUT LET ME TELL THEM
IT'S TOO LATE. Jimmy: I'LL DO THIS LAST ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ] I WANT TO DO THIS LAST ONE ICE COLD FACT.
"IF YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM, YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I AGREE. I TOTALLY AGREE AS A FOLLOWER.
I LOVE SEEING YOUR STUFF IT ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH, AND IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK
I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THAT THAT'S JUST AN ICE COLD FACT
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "LAW &
ORDER: SVU." LET'S GO. Jimmy: YOU'RE ABOUT TO WRAP
UP SEASON 23, IS THAT POSSIBLE RIGHT NOW, WE ARE FILMING THE FINAL EPISODE OF SEASON 23
WE GOT THE RECORD AT 21, AND NOW I'M HOPING WE GO TO LIKE SEASON 29 OR SOMETHING
I MEAN, THIS YEAR WE HAD SOME OF THE BEST RATINGS EVER IT'S JUST -- I'M LUCKY TO BE ON
BOARD THAT SHIP. Jimmy: ARE YOU -- CAN YOU TELL US HOW THE SEASON ENDS?
I DON'T DIE [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WELL
THAT'S GOOD. YOU WORRIED ABOUT THAT YEAH.
YEAH, WHEN YOU'RE ON A SHOW THIS LONG, LIKE, YOU KNOW, I READ THE SCRIPT AND I GET SHOT,
I'M LIKE, "I'M SHOT. AND I START -- OH, RIGHT THERE "WHEW, I'M ALIVE."
[ LAUGHTER ] I GOT SHOT ON PAGE 20. 43 I'M BREATHING
[ LAUGHTER ] YES! Jimmy: I LOVE YOU DICK WOLF
I'M LIKE, "YO, LET ME KNOW SOMETHING, MAN." Jimmy: CONGRATS ON ANOTHER
GREAT SEASON I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ICE-T IN "LAW & ORDER:
SVU. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
JUANA RAMIREZ IS THE SOUL OF THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. IF ANYTHING IS GOING ON,
SHE'LL KNOW ABOUT IT OKAY, I'M GONNA WAIT OUT HERE
NOBODY LIKES A BAKERY FULL OF COPS GET ME A COFFEE AND SOME
CHISME Jimmy: COME ON, ICE-T, EVERYBODY.
COME ON, YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "LAW & ORDER: SVU" RETURNS WITH
NEW EPISODES APRIL 28th. WE'RE PLAYING "SETTLES IT" AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE ARE HANGING OUT WITH ICE-T,
RIGHT HERE, NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE KNOWN TO SAY THE BLUNT
TRUTH, SO I THOUGHT YOU COULD SETTLE SOME OF THE BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT DEBATES OF ALL
TIME ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS ABSOLUTELY.
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME FOR "ICE-T SETTLES IT."
* ICE-T SETTLES I ICE-T SETTLES IT * Jimmy: OKAY
FIRST UP, BLOCKING OR MUTING SOMEONE ON TWITTER MUTE THEM
A LOT OF PEOPLE GET OFF BECAUSE THEY GOT BLOCKED THEY -- DUMMIES WRITE THAT OFF
AS A BADGE - YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL THEM? Jimmy: YEP.
DUMB [ BLEEP ] Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH. THEY GET OFF AS A BADGE OF
HONOR. "OH, I GOT BLOCKED BY ICE-T. I'M IMPORTANT.
BUT IF YOU MUTE THEM, THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE BLOCKED AND THEN, THEY JUST YELL OFF
INTO THE TWITTER VOID OF NOTHINGNESS. THEY THINK THEY'RE TALKING TO
YOU. [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: RIGHT?
DON'T GIVE THEM THAT - HIT THAT MUTE BUTTON AND LET THEM YELL INTO NOTHING
AND NOBODY GETS TO HEAR THEM AGAIN. Jimmy: I LOVE IT.
NUMBER TWO, HERE WE GO HOW ABOUT THIS SLOW WALKERS OR SLOW TALKERS
I HATE SLOW TALKERS YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH I RAP SLOW
BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME -- I'M LIKE, "SPEED IT UP, GET TO THE POINT.
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I ALWAYS DO THAT WITH COCO
I'M LIKE - [ CLAPPING ] [ LAUGHTER ]
I KNOW THERE'S A PUNCH LINE COMING COME ON.
Jimmy: LET'S GO LET'S GET TO IT, YEAH. YEAH, SLOW TALKERS DRIVE ME
BANANAS. Jimmy: I WAS BEHIND, THOUGH, A FAMILY THIS MORNING.
I WAS WALKING INTO WORK, AND IT WAS -- THEY ARE THE SLOWEST WALKING FAMILY, EVER
AND I LOVE THAT THEY'RE A FAMILY AND THAT'S GREAT AND EVERYTHING
BUT THERE WAS LIKE FIVE OF THEM AND THEY REALLY -- THEY WERE
ALMOST ON THE EDGE, ALMOST BY THE STREET THEY JUST HAD THE WHOLE
SIDEWALK BLOCKED OFF YEAH, I GET THAT. WELL, I'M A SLOW WALKER,
THOUGH YOU KNOW, PLAYERS, WE WALK SLOW
WE IN NO RUSH. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, NO
I WALK LIKE THIS THAT'S HOW YOU -- [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: THAT'S HOW I WALK. THAT'S HOW I WALK THE WAY. PLAYERS WALK LIKE THIS.
* [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WE PROBABLY WALKED BY EACH OTHER, YEAH
YEAH -- YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS UP YOUR SHOES YOU GOT TO KEEP EVERYTHING
TOGETHER, YOU DIG? [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THIS
SHOULD YOU REHEAT SPAGHETTI? YEAH, WHY NOT Jimmy: I KNOW
I THINK IT TASTES -- WHY NOT I MEAN, IT'S GOOD.
IF IT WAS GOOD SPAGHETTI IF IT WAS BAD SPAGHETTI, IT MIGHT TURN INTO ANTIMATTER
I DON'T KNOW YOU KNOW - Jimmy: YOU EVER HAD FRIED -
YOU EVER HAD FRIED SPAGHETTI YOU FRY SPAGHETTI Jimmy: CHECK IT OUT
NO -- HEY, LEARN SOMETHING NEW ON "JIMMY FALLON." [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS READY?
PLAYSTATION OR XBOX? OH, MAN, YOU TRYING TO MESS WITH SOME OF MY SPONSORSHIPS
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NO, NO, NO I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, MAN
I MEAN -- YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY HAVE BOTH SYSTEMS Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW
YOU KNOW, THEY FIGHT -- LIKE GAMERS, BUT NOW THEY ACTUALLY HAVE CROSS-PLATFORM PLAYING
WHERE YOU CAN BE ON, YOU KNOW - Jimmy: EITHER ONE
-- YOU CAN BE ON PLAYSTATION AND PLAY -- YEAH SO, I'M A GAMER, BUT -
YEAH, I HAD TO HAVE BOTH OF THEM BECAUSE SOME GAMES EXCLUSIVELY COME OUT ON THE
GAMES FIRST. AND I WANT THEM, SO, YOU KNOW, ONE TIME I TOLD PEOPLE, I SAID,
"I HAVE TWO GAMING CONSOLES. THEY'RE LIKE, "THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE RICH.
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S TWO BUGATTIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
Jimmy: NO, YEAH, NO I UNDERSTAND IT'S A DAMN GAMING CONSOLE.
Jimmy: LIKE A BENTLEY OR LAMBORGHINI, YEAH. YEAH, COME ON
TAKE IT EASY TAKE IT EASY Jimmy: TAKE IT EASY, YEAH
"CALL OF DUTY" OR "HALO? "CALL OF DUTY." Jimmy: THERE YOU GO
ONLY REASON IS 'CAUSE I'M NOT REALLY A SPACE GUY, EVEN THOUGH I PLAY "DESTINY."
BUT I'M NOT INTO -- AND ALSO, I MISSED THE LEARNING CURVE ON "HALO.
YEAH, "CALL OF DUTY" IS MORE REAL YOU RUN AROUND WITH GUNS
Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH GET IT IN Jimmy: OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ] GREATEST RAP ALBUM OF ALL TIME [ AUDIENCE OOHs
THAT'S DIFFICULT I SAY "PAID IN FULL" BY ERIC B. AND RAKIM.
Jimmy: WOW. WOW. I LOVE THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ] YEAH. Jimmy: WHY THAT ONE
BECAUSE THAT WAS THE MOST INFLUENTIAL ALBUM TO ME WHEN I WAS MAKING MY ALBUM.
I SAY "FEAR OF A BLACK PLANET" WITH PUBLIC ENEMY WOULD BE A A CLOSE SECOND
AND THEN "STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON," NWA WOULD BE IN THE TOP THREE.
BUT EACH ONE OF THOSE ALBUMS HAD A LOT TO DO WITH INFLUENCE ME AS AN EMCEE
BUT WHEN I HEARD RAKIM, I HAD NEVER HEARD NOBODY RAP LIKE THAT
AND IT WAS SO MANY HITS ON THAT ALBUM. Jimmy: IT WAS CRAZY
GET "PAID IN FULL," AND YOU'LL BANG IT ALL THE WAY TO THE HOUSE.
Jimmy: ERIC B. AND RAKIM. I LOVE THAT. GUCCI OR CHANEL?
WELL, MY DAUGHTER'S NAME IS CHANEL THIS IS A TRICK QUESTION
Jimmy: YEAH YEAH -- I GOT TO GO WITH CHANEL
SHE'S PROBABLY GONE WATCH THIS AND THINK -- Jimmy: YEAH, HI, CHANEL
BUT SHE LIKES GUCCI TOO YOU KNOW, SHE -- WE MESSED UP. WE COULD HAVE NAMED HER
ANYTHING WE DECIDED TO NAME HER SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO BREAK
US DOWN THE LINE [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, RIGHT
BUT BECAUSE COCO -- SO, IT WAS KIND OF PLAY OFF of COCO AND CHANEL
Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT I THOUGHT SO HOW ABOUT THIS ONE THEN IF
SHE'S WATCHING "DORA" OR "PEPPA." "PEPPA PIG.
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. STRAIGHT UP, "PEPPA PIG." Jimmy: WOW.
"PEPPA PIG" HAS CHANEL TALKING LIKE SHE'S BRITISH [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: "MUDDY PUDDLES." YEAH, "MUDDY PUDDLES. Jimmy: "MUDDY PUDDLES."
YEAH -- YEAH. "READY, STEADY READY, STEADY?
I'M LIKE, "IT'S READY, SET, GO." "NO, NO, DADDY, IT'S READY,
STEADY, GO." Jimmy: ICED TEA, SWEETENED OR UNSWEETENED
WHO DRINKS UNSWEETENED ICED TEA? THAT'S SOME WHITE PEOPLE
[ BLEEP ]. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO SAY
ME I WAS GOING TO SAY ME. "CAN I GET UNSWEETENED, PLEASE
* I WANT UNSWEETENED." BLACK PEOPLE HAS REAL -- WE
DRINK SWEETNESS. WE DRINK KOOL-AID. WE DRINK THINGS THAT TASTE
GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] AND TEA IS NOT THE PLACE TO GO
TO GET HEALTHY ANYWAY. I MEAN, YOU CAN DO GREEN TEA, I GET IT, IF THAT'S YOUR THING
BUT UNSWEETENED TEA. THAT'S NASTY Jimmy: OKAY
HERE WE GO LAST ONE, LAW OR ORDER WELL, LAW IS -- LAW WOULD BE
THE COURT, I GUESS Jimmy: YEP. SO, IT'S MOTHER [ BLEEP ]
ORDER, CUZZ, COME ON Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
COME ON, THAT IS - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ICE-T!
MY THANKS TO ICE-T "LAW & ORDER: SVU" RETURNS WITH NEW EPISODES APRIL 28th.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A THREE-TIME EMMY-NOMINATED
ACTRESS WHO STARS IN THE NEW SERIES "GASLIT," WHICH PREMIERES SUNDAY AT 8:00 P.M.
ON STARZ PLEASE WELCOME BETTY GILPIN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HI! Jimmy: BETTY, WELCOME BACK
TO THE SHOW. THANKS FOR HAVING ME. Jimmy: OH, PLEASE
I APPRECIATE THIS. WE JUST HAD ICE-T ON, AND WE WERE TALKING -
IT'S KIND OF A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR NEW YORK ACTORS TO BE ON "LAW & ORDER."
YES, YEAH YEAH FOR, LIKE, THE FIRST COUPLE OF
YEARS OF MY CAREER, IT WAS ONLY THEATER AND "LAW & ORDER." SO, I DID AN ORDER OF "SVU."
I WAS -- A PEDOPHILE WITH VOCAL FRY. Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU AND I WAS A LESBIAN -- Jimmy: NO SPINOFF -- NO
SPINOFF FROM THAT ONE. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT CALL
Jimmy: YEAH AND I WAS A LESBIAN WITH ACNE ON THE MOTHERSHIP, WE
CALLED IT. JUST THE NORMAL "LAW & ORDER." Jimmy: INTERESTING.
SO YOU WERE MULTIPLE DIFFERENT -- WERE YOU EVER A A DEAD BODY?
I WAS A DEAD BODY ON "CRIMINAL INTENT." AND THEN, WITHIN THE SAME YEAR
I WAS AN ALIVE PERSON. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SAME SEASON?
YES, SAME SEASON. THEY WERE LIKE, "NO ONE CARES. NO ONE REMEMBERS YOU."
[ LAUGHTER ] I HAD FUN. BUT I WAS -- THE DEAD BODY, I
WAS FRAN DRESCHER'S DAUGHTER, WHICH IS AN HONOR. BUT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT
CASTING. Jimmy: YEAH BUT YEAH, I WAS FOUND --
TRUE FANS WILL KNOW. I WAS FOUND NAKED IN AN OIL DRUM
VINCENT D'ONOFRIO, LIKE, FOUND MY NAKED DEAD BODY Jimmy: SO SORRY TO HEAR
THAT YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND WE FILMED IT WHERE -- I DON'T KNOW IF THEY STILL FILM "SVU" THERE BUT WE FILMED IT
OUTSIDE CHELSEA PIERS. Jimmy: YEP. AND THEY HAD THESE ALL THESE
MODESTY SCREENS BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO BE NAKED AND CRUMPLED UP IN THIS OIL BARREL.
SO THEY HAD ALL THESE SCREENS PROTECTING ME FROM THE CREW ON THE CHELSEA PIERS SIDE
AND AS I WAS TAKING OFF MY ROBE, I WAS LIKE, "OH, THE WESTSIDE HIGHWAY."
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: ALL THREE HUMAN BEINGS -
YEAH. Jimmy: "WAIT, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
THIS WAS THE TIME BEFORE, YOU KNOW, INTIMACY COORDINATORS
THEY WERE LIKE, "WE'RE LOSING LIGHT. TAKE THE ROBE OFF.
Jimmy: YEAH AND THEN, YOU JUST HAD TO BE - AND THEN -- SO, WE FILMED
THE SCENE OF THEM ZIPPING UP THE BODY BAG AT A DIFFERENT LOCATION AT, LIKE, A REMOTE
BEACH. AND THIS IS MY FIRST JOB EVER. AND I REMEMBER THEM ZIPPING UP
THE BODY BAG VINCENT D'ONOFRIO HAD LIKE A A GRUMBLING SCENE OVER MY BODY
BAG. AND I JUST SORT OF HAD TO BE IN THERE.
AND THEN, THEY CALLED CUT. THEY'RE LIKE, "THAT'S LUNCH, GUYS
GREAT DAY. AND I HEAR, LIKE, FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL GETTING FARTHER AND
FARTHER AWAY VAN DOORS CLOSING. AND THEN, LIKE, TEN SECONDS
GOES BY. I HEAR ONE FAR AWAY P.A. BEING LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER ] FOOTSTEPS COMING TOWARDS ME. LIKE, UNZIPS
SUNLIGHT IN MY FACE. YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
"LET'S GET YOU OUT OF THERE. Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. LIKE, "HELLO, HELP
HELLO? NO, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HIGH MAINTENANCE.
Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T WANT TO - I WANTED TO WORK AGAIN IN THE SAME SEASON.
Jimmy: IT'S THE FIRST JOB YOU DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE SCENE, OF COURSE
NO. Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN ON OUR SHOW BEFORE, BUT I JUST HEARD
YOU HAD -- WE MET EACH OTHER BEFORE THAT. I MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT
BACK IN THIS BUILDING IN THE '90s IN THIS BUILDING IN 1998.
WHAT A TIME IT WAS I WAS 12 YEARS OLD AND MY BRAIN WAS A CAPITAL OF DELUSIONS
BECAUSE I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I WASN'T A CHILD STAR. MY PARENTS WOULDN'T LET ME BE
A CHILD ACTOR. BUT WE GOT TICKETS TO "SNL." AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, MAYBE
FATE WILL HAVE IT THAT I GET DISCOVERED IN THE AUDIENCE OF 'SNL.'
AND -- Jimmy: LORNE MICHAELS MIGHT JUST SEE YOU IN THE AUDIENCE
AND BE LIKE, "YOU HAVE SOMETHING. REALLY ANYONE
Jimmy: ANYONE TIME WOULD STOP AND I'D BECOME MILLIE BOBBY BROWN MEETS
DANIEL DAY LEWIS AT ONCE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, FINALLY.
Jimmy: YEAH AND JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT WAS THE HOST, WHO I WAS OBSESSED
WITH SHE HAD EVERYTHING I DIDN'T. IMDB PAGE AND CLEAVAGE
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M PRAYING FOR BOTH AND SHE WAS DATING CARSON DALY
AT THE TIME. Jimmy: OF COURSE. THEY WERE, LIKE, THE HOTTEST
COUPLE HE WAS HOSTING "TRL. Jimmy: MASSIVE.
THEY WERE THE IT COUPLE. YEAH, LIKE THE TOM HOLLAND AND ZENDAYA OF THE DAY
Jimmy: YES. IT WAS REMARKABLE AND I SAT RIGHT BEHIND HIM
I WAS LIKE, THIS IS FATE I'M BEHIND CARSON DALY HE'S GOING TO TURN AROUND --
'CAUSE, I GUESS, IN MY HEAD HE WAS THE -- LIKE, "TRL" AND "GUYS AND DOLLS" WAS MY WORLD.
SO, I WAS LIKE, "CARSON DALY PROBABLY RUNS MGM. HE'LL TURN AROUND AND SEE ME
AND MAKE ME A STAR." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH
"YOU GOT SOMETHING, KID. YEAH, EXACTLY YEAH, AND I'D HAVE A CONTRACT
BY MONDAY. Jimmy: YEAH DIDN'T HAPPEN
MY STRATEGY WAS TO -- THIS WAS, YOU KNOW, BEFORE COVID I'LL JUST COUGH ON THE BACK OF
HIS NECK [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE -
Jimmy: I'M SORRY. SO, YOUR PLAN IS TO COUGH ON THE BACK OF CARSON DALY'S NECK
YEAH. Jimmy: TO THE POINT IT WOULD ANNOY HIM MAYBE?
WELL, HE'D BE LIKE "WHO IS - WHO IS THAT?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: IT'S SUCH A GREAT DELIVERY
"HEY, WHO IS -- HEY, WHO IS THAT?" "OH, MY GOD
CAN WE GET THE HOUSE LIGHTS UP THIS IS A STAR." Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR
THAT THAT'S A VERY FUN STORY. AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE
NOW. OH, MY GOSH. NOMINATED FOR EMMYS AND YOU'RE
JUST CRUSHING IT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "ROAR" QUICKLY.
"ROAR" IS -- IT'S ON APPLE TV PLUS AND EVERY EPISODE TELLS
A DIFFERENT WOMAN'S STORY. YEAH. Jimmy: THIS STORY -- THEY'RE
ALL SUPER INTERESTING. THIS ONE IS CALLED "THE WOMAN WHO WAS KEPT ON A SHELF.
YES Jimmy: AND YOU LITERALLY ARE UP ON A SHELF.
YES, SO THIS WAS CREATED BY LIZ FLAHIVE AND CARLY MENSCH, WHO CREATED "GLOW" AND WE
WORKED TOGETHER ON "NURSE JACKIE." SO THEY KIND OF KNOW THAT MY
PERSONAL BRAND IS PLAYING WOMAN WHO ARE NOT OKAY AND THIS IS NO EXCEPTION
IT'S KIND OF LIKE A FANTASTICAL ALLEGORY FOR THE TROPHY WIFE AND I PLAY A WOMAN WHO LIVES ON
HER HUSBAND'S SHELF AND GOES SLOWLY INSANE. Jimmy: YEAH, I LOVE IT.
I THINK THE WHOLE SEASON, THE WHOLE IDEA, EVERY SINGLE EPISODE IS A DIFFERENT STORY OF
A WOMAN. YEAH, YEAH. Jimmy: AND IT'S -- IT'S WELL
DONE NICOLE KIDMAN, CYNTHIA ERIVO, ALISON BRIE
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Jimmy: ALISON BRIE! YEAH, SHE WAS HERE TALKING
ABOUT IT IT'S GREAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "GASLIT"
NOW. THIS IS YOUR OTHER SHOW. THIS SHOW IS -- BASICALLY,
EVERYBODY IS SAYING IS JULIA ROBERTS' RETURN, KIND OF WE HAVEN'T SEEN JULIA IN A
A WHILE. HER PERFORMANCE IS INSANE SHE'S INCREDIBLE
Jimmy: SHE IS INCREDIBLE. INCREDIBLE. Jimmy: YEAH, AND -- HAVE YOU
EVER WORKED WITH JULIA BEFORE OR MET HER I HAD NEVER -- NO
I'D NEVER WORKED WITH HER. IT'S SO UNFORTUNATE. I, IN THIS SERIES, PLAY
MO DEAN, WHO WAS A REAL PERSON WIFE OF JOHN DEAN, WHO WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL.
AND MO DEAN HAD -- YEAH, SO SHE HAS WHITE BLONDE HAIR
AND I DO NOT AGAINST ALL ODDS. AND I WORE THIS WIG THAT WAS THIS PLATINUM BLONDE, ALMOST
LIKE DAENERYS TRAGARYAN WIG. AND THE PROCESS WAS -- IT WASN'T JUST LIKE YOU POP THE
WIG ON LIKE, THEY HAD TO PUT A BALD CAP AND PAINT IT WHITE AND THEN
PUT THE WIG ON AND I WAS LIKE, "PLEASE, LORD DON'T LET THE FIRST TIME I MEET
JULIA ROBERTS BE HALFWAY THROUGH WHEN I LOOK LIKE A A WHITE WALKER IN A NURSING
HOME." [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE IT WAS TWO TENDRILS
COMING - IT LOOKED INSANE, INSANE, INSANE
I ONCE FACETIMED BY HUSBAND IN THAT BALD CAP, AND HE WAS LIKE, "NEVER DO THIS AGAIN."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND OF COURSE I MET HER WHEN I WAS IN THAT EXACT PHASE.
LIKE, "HI, GIRL-LEGEND I NORMALLY DON'T LOOK LIKE THIS
I'M SO SORRY THIS IS TERRIFYING." Jimmy: AND SHE'S JUST THE
MOST FUN YEAH, SHE'S INCREDIBLE. Jimmy: YEAH, AND THEN KNOCKS
IT OUT OF THE PARK Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP.
HERE'S BETTY GILPIN IN "GASLIT. TAKE A LOOK.
WAIT, PLEASE. JOHN.
PLEASE. YOU SEEM VERY LATE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS
I AM LOOKING FOR A MAN AND I CAN'T WASTE MY TIME WITH LITTLE BOYS ANYMORE.
I KNOW I WAS [ BLEEP ] THE OTHER NIGHT. BUT I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO
YOU. THERE'S THIS FUNDRAISER NEXT WEEKEND.
EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE IN D.C. IS GOING TO BE THERE YOU WANT TO TAKE ME TO
A REPUBLICAN FUNDRAISER? IT'LL BE GREAT MATERIAL FOR YOUR NOVEL
PLUS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY. WE CAN JUST SIT IN THE CORNER
ALL NIGHT, DRINKING JOHN MITCHELL SCOTCH JOHN MITCHELL
MARTHA MITCHELL'S HUSBAND? YEAH, WHY YOU LIKE HIM
SHE'S COMPLETELY INSANE I LOVE HER Jimmy: BETTY GILPIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "GASLIT" PREMIERES THIS SUNDAY AT 8:00 P.M. ON STARZ.
I LOVE YOU, BUD. COME BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT. PUSHA T PERFORMS FOR US AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: PERFORMING "DREAMIN OF THE PAST" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM
"IT'S ALMOST DRY," GIVE IT UP FOR PUSHA T.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * IT'S LEVELS IT'S LAYERS
SO PRAY FOR THE PLAYER WE HOLLOW THE WALL IN BACK OF BODEGAS *
* I GOT MONEY IT'S SO MANY YEA THEY SAID GIMM
HE GOT PLENTY YEAH * * BRUH YOU -- AIN'T FLEXIN' YOU CRAMPIN'
MY WEIGHT KEEP A ON THE BIKES LIKE AMBLIN' * * WEIGHT LOSS RENT LOSS
SCRAMBLIN' NOW PASS THE CHAMPAGNE TO THE CHAMPION *
* MY -- GET MONEY GET MONEY GET MONE LIKE YE SAMPLIN' *
* GUN STUTT MAKE THE DRUMLIN LIKE GRAMBLING *
* MGM GAMBLIN BLEW A SMALL MANSION ANNOYED 'CAUSE THIS CHIC
CALLIN' LANVIN LAEN-VEN * * WHAT WHO YOU STAMPIN' THEM -- JUST STAND-INS
NOT ME THEY CENSOR AND BLOCK ME * * YOU HOLLERIN' TOP FIV
I ONLY SEE TOP M AWARD SHOWS THE ONLY WAY YOU -- CAN ROB ME *
* IT'S LEVELS IT'S LAYERS SO PRAY FOR THE PLAYER CLIP 'EM BABY IF HE FLINCH
AT THE PRICE OF BOTTEGA * * I GOT MONEY IT'S SO MANY YEA
THEY SAID GIMM HE GOT PLENTY YEAH * * BRUH YOU -- AIN'T DRI
YOU DRYIN' KEVLAR IN HIS BALENCIAGA JACKET LININ' *
* YOU AND YOUR CHIC INCOME COMBININ' I'M SENDIN' LORRAINE SCHWART
DIAMOND MININ' * * FIND EM I CAME UP WITH
ENZO DRIFTERS * * SO YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE
THERE'S WINDOW STICKER AND WINDOW LICKERS * * YOU KNOW THE TYPE
ALWAYS TRYNA GET IN YO PICTURE * * I WAS TRYNA
GET THE DOPE THROUGH IN YO SISTER * * WE WON BAGGIN' UP THE WOR
WOULDN'T BE NO DISHE BE NO CHRISTMAS MISTLETO BE NO KISSES *
* MADE A WAY FOR OURSELVE WE AIN'T NEED NO WISHE IT'S LEVELS IT'S LAYER
SO PRAY FOR THE PLAYERS * * WE HOLLOW THE WALLS IN BACK OF BODEGAS *
* I GOT MONEY IT'S SO MANY YEA THEY SAID GIMM
HE GOT PLENTY YEAH * * WALK IT DOWN LIKE BRADY GETS BETTER WITH TIM
DIDN'T HAVE TO REINVENT THE WHEEL * * JUST A BETTER DESIG
CRITIC HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND * * HATER
HE'S OUT OF HIS PRIME YE ALWAYS WHERE THE MONEY'S AT *
* LIKE LOTTERY SIGN STILL I CLIM ROCKSTAR
THIRD EYE BLIND * * I WAS BORED BY THESE ALBUM
SO IT GOTTA BE TIME * * NO REWARD FOR THE LATTE SO IT GOTTA BE MIN
HUFF AND PUFF IN THE CLU THEN I GOTTA BE SHINE * * IT'S LEVELS IT'S LAYERS
SO PRAY FOR THE PLAYER WE HOLLOW THE WALL IN BACK OF BODEGAS *
* I GOT MONEY IT'S SO MANY YEA THEY SAID GIMM
HE GOT PLENTY YEAH * * AND MY HEART WA BEATING FAST *
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"IT'S ALMOST DRY. OUT NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
RAP ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Jimmy: PUSHA T! "IT'S ALMOST DRY" IS OUT NOW
MY THANKS TO ICE-T, BETTY GILPIN, PUSHA T, AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE