Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CHRISSY TEIGEN
CRISTIN MILIOTI, MUSICAL GUEST, SOCCER MOMMY. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1639 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH WOW
THAT FEELS RIGHT THAT FEELS RIGHT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE
TONIGHT SHOW." YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I APPRECIATE IT.
WELL, GUYS, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THIS TODAY ELON MUSK BOUGHT TWITTER
FOR $44 BILLION. YEP. HE NOW OWNS SPACEX AND TWITTER
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE MUSK IS THINKING, I'VE SEEN THE HEAVENS, NOW ON
TO HELL. [ LAUGHTER ] TWITTER'S AN ODD THING TO BUY.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE BUYING YOUTUBE AND SAYING, "FORGET THE VIDEOS
I'M JUST HERE FOR THE MEAN COMMENTS." [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD BOUGHT TWITTER
RIGHT NOW BERNIE SANDERS IS SO MAD HE JUST TURNED INTO THE HULK
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, MUSK HAS SAID THAT HE'S PRO FREE SPEECH, SO A LOT OF
PEOPLE THINK THAT HE'LL LET FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP BACK ON THE PLATFORM
[ AUDIENCE GROANS YEAH, NOT EXACTLY WHAT WE MEANT WHEN WE ASKED FOR A RETURN TO
PRE-PANDEMIC VIBES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT WHEN IT HEARD, THE CAPS
LOCK KEY ON TRUMP'S PHONE WAS LIKE, "I'M BACK, BABY. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT LISTEN TO THIS, TODAY TRUMP TOLD FOX NEWS THAT HE WILL NOT RETURN TO TWITTER AND WILL
INSTEAD JOIN HIS OWN PLATFORM, TRUTH SOCIAL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WAIT, SO NOT EVEN TRUMP IS ON TRUTH SOCIAL YET THAT IS -- IT'S HIS APP.
[ LAUGHTER ] HE'S NOT ON HIS OWN APP? IF YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK,
TWITTER AND TRUTH SOCIAL ARE LIKE THE FOUR SEASONS AND FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT TRUMP'S NOT GIVING UP ON TRUTH
SOCIAL BUT AT A RALLY THIS WEEKEND, HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO MESS UP THE
NAME OF HIS OWN PLATFORM TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
BECAUSE OF THIS DIGITAL TYRANNY, WE HAD TO GIVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THEIR VOICE
BACK BY BUILDING SOMETHING CALLED, TROTH -- TRUTH SENTIAL TRUTH SOCIAL
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "TOUGH SOCIALS." [ LAUGHTER ]
"TROUT CHAPEL. "THOR RAGNAROK." [ LAUGHTER ]
SADLY EVEN TROUT CENTRAL HAS MORE USERS THAN TRUTH SOCIAL IT'S INTERESTING
[ LAUGHTER ] LET'S SWITCH GEARS OVER THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS
THERE'S BEEN A RISE IN COVID CASES, AND THE WHITE HOUSE IS CALLING FOR CAUTION BUT NOT
OVERREACTING EVEN THE CDC WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW IT'S REALLY BAD WHEN ELON MUSK TRIES TO BUY CLOROX
WIPES. [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE NEWS FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE. TODAY, THE TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING VISITED PRESIDENT BIDEN TO
CELEBRATE THEIR LAST TWO STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONSHIPS. YEP.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BIDEN SAID HE'S NOT A BIG LIGHTNING FAN, BUT HIS
CHILDHOOD FRIEND, BEN FRANKLIN, IS [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, HEY, GET THIS. CHIPPENDALES HAS HIRED A A LOBBYIST TO HELP THEM GET
FEDERAL COVID AID. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THEY'LL RECEIVE THEIR
MONEY, BUT THEY'RE JUST GOING TO GET IT LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS, I READ THAT THE OWNERS OF JCPENNY HAVE OFFERED TO BUY KOHL'S FOR
$8.6 BILLION MEANWHILE, BEST BUY IS CALLING UP RADIOSHACK LIKE, "YOU UP.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY A HIKER IN WASHINGTON HAD TO CALL THE FIRE
DEPARTMENT TO RESCUE HER AFTER SHE DROPPED HER PHONE IN AN OUT HOUSE TOILET AND GOT STUCK HEAD
FIRST TRYING TO GET IT OUT [ LAUGHTER ] [ AUDIENCE GROANS
IT'S ACTUALLY HARD FOR HER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE FIRE DEPARTMENT BECAUSE SHE HAD SUCH
CRAPPY SERVICE [ LAUGHTER ] FIREFIGHTERS WERE LIKE,
"THERE'S NO FIRE, BUT YOU'D BETTER BRING THE HOSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
GUYS, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE FIND MATH BORING THAT'S WHY WE'VE UPDATED MATH
TO MAKE EQUATIONS BE ABOUT STUFF YOU CAN RELATE TO. IT'S TIME FOR "POPULAR
MATHEMATICS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * POPULAR MATHEMATIC
MATHEMATICS * Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST EQUATION HERE.
IF YOU TAKE A CHECKMARK, PLUS A DAD BOD, IT EQUALS THE NIKE LOGO
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? SO THEN IF YOU TAKE A STREAMING
SERVICE, PLUS THE MOVIE "GONE IN 60 SECONDS," IT EQUALS CNN PLUS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT MAKES PEOPLE LIKE MATH AGAIN.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE MEXICAN CULTURE, PLUS ITALIAN CULTURE, PLUS A MIDDLE FINGER,
EQUALS TACO BELL'S MEXICAN PIZZA. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I'M STILL GOING TO TRY IT. I'M STILL GOING TO TRY IT, AND I'LL PROBABLY LIKE IT.
IF YOU TAKE AN OLD SCHOOL CAMERA, PLUS SHOOTING THE WHOLE ROLL OF FILM, PLUS FORGETTING
TO TAKE OFF THE LENS CAP, IT EQUALS KODAK BLACK [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AND FINALLY, IF YOU TAKE POSITIVE VIBES, PLUS POSITIVE COVID TEST, IT EQUALS
COACHELLA. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU GO
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "POPULAR MATHEMATICS." WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
CHRISSY TEIGEN IS HERE, TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CRISTIN MILIOTI IS HERE, TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM SOCCER MOMMY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BIG SHOW WE'RE PLAYING A BRAND-NEW GAME WITH CHRISSY TEIGEN WHEN WE
COME BACK. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE
EYE.
WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A BRAND NEW GAME CALLED "PRESS & GUESS." HERE WE GO
* PRESS PRES
PRESS * * AND GUESS YEAH *
Jimmy: NOW I'M GOING TO NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY AGAINST. SHE IS THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
OF THE HBO MAX DOCUSERIES, "THE WAY DOWN: GOD, GREED, AND THE CULT OF GWEN SHAMBLIN.
GIVE IT UP FOR CHRISSY TEIGEN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: WELCOME! A NEW GAME. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
A NEW GAME A NEW GAME. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW
IT WORKS WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS PRESSING OUR FACES UP AGAINST
THIS WINDOW HERE -- [ LAUGHTER ] AND SAYING A RANDOM PHRASE
WE HAVE TO GET THE OTHER PERSON TO GUESS THE PHRASE IN 15 SECONDS.
[ LAUGHTER ] IF YOU HAVE A WINDOW AT HOME WHERE YOU CAN DO THIS, SOMEONE
GO OUTSIDE, SOMEONE STAYS IN THE LIVING ROOM. WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.
15 SECONDS PHRASES ARE ON THE CARDS RIGHT HERE
SINCE YOU'RE MY GUEST, YOU ARE GOING TO GO FIRST. OH, GREAT
Jimmy: WHENEVER -- YEAH, OF COURSE THIS IS THE FIRST AND LAST
TIME YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHEN YOU'RE READY,
TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR CARD AND THEN PRESS YOUR FACE INTO THE WINDOW AND TRY TO GET ME TO
GUESS THE PHRASE [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, I'M GOING FIRST
Jimmy: YEAH I'M NOT LOOKING. QUESTLOVE HAS A GOOD VIEW
OVER THERE OKAY Jimmy: ARE YOU READY?
I MEAN, WE DIDN'T -- OKAY, WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO FOR IT? Jimmy: YEAH
GO FOR IT. LIKE, PRETTY HARD Jimmy: GO FOR IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] WAIT, I FORGOT IT WAIT
[ CYMBAL CRASH ] OKAY [ LAUGHTER ]
YOUNG OR -- OH, NO, I COULDN'T SAY IT SO MY TEETH GO OUT TOO FAR.
WHY CAN'T I -- Jimmy: NO, THE OTHER WAY WAS BETTER
THIS ONE? Jimmy: YEAH [ MUFFLED
"CHANGE YOUR TEETH." [ LAUGHTER ] "FEEL GOOD TEETH."
"FEEL. "FEEL. Jimmy: FEEL THE -- FEEL THE
SOMETHING? FILL "SPILL THE TEA."
"SPILL THE TEA. Jimmy: "SPILL THE TEA." I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT
[ LAUGHTER ] [ SAD TUBA ] ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, 15 SECONDS IS NOT QUITE ENOUGH ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
NOW IT'S MY TURN OH, MY GOSH, YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO LISTEN TO IT.
IT'S HARD IT'S -- Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
TEETH GO OUT, SO IT'S LIKE -- Jimmy: THIS IS HARD WITHOUT
EVEN PRESSING MY FACE AGAINST THE GLASS. HAVE YOU TRIED THIS BECAUSE
IT'S NOT -- IT'S NOT EASY. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, READY *
[ LAUGHTER ] [ MUFFLED WHAT?
[ MUFFLED [ BUZZER ] WHAT
Jimmy: I CAN'T EVEN DO THIS FIRST PART [ MUFFLED
KIDS? LIDS SHINS?
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: IT WAS -- IT WAS -- NO.
IT WAS, "PIGS IN A BLANKET." WOW! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
[ SAD TUBA ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. YOU ARE UP
YOU ARE UP RIGHT NOW YOU NEED TO DO THIS PART OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY THIS IS --
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, BUD [ LAUGHTER ] [ MUFFLED
A KEY? "HAKUNA." Jimmy: "MATATA"
[ DING ] * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YES! WE GOT ONE THAT'S ALL WE NEEDED
OKAY OKAY PAY ATTENTION.
WE GOT THIS. WE GOT THIS. OKAY.
* Jimmy: "UP, UP, AND AWAY! "UP, UP, AND AWAY!"
Jimmy: YES. * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'RE GETTING THIS [ LAUGHTER ] [ AIR HORN ]
OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND MEANS IT IS TIME FOR THE BONUS ROUND
TO RAISE THE STAKES, WE BOTH WILL BE SAYING THE SAME PHRASE INTO THE WINDOW, TRYING TO GET
QUESTLOVE TO GUESS WHAT WE ARE SAYING [ CHEERS ]
Questlove: OH, BOY. ALL RIGHT. Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
THE FINAL PHRASE HERE WE GO OKAY.
OKAY Questlove: COME ON. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE
YOU GOING? YOU CAN GO THERE I'LL GO HERE
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WAIT, I FORGOT. [ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, NOW I GOT IT I KNOW THIS. OKAY
Jimmy: YEAH [ MUFFLED "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE."
Jimmy: "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE." Questlove: "I -- Jimmy: "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE
EYE. "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE." Jimmy: "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE
EYE. Questlove: "I -- I SPY -- "WITH MY LITTLE EYE."
Jimmy: "WITH MY LITTLE EYE. Questlove: "I SPY -- Jimmy: "WITH --
"WITH MY LITTLE EYE." [ BUZZER ] Jimmy: "I -- I SPY WITH MY
LITTLE EYE." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ SAD TUBA ]
Questlove: THE HELL Jimmy: THAT WAS "PRESS AND GUESS.
THE CHAMPION, CHRISSY TEIGEN, EVERYBODY. WE'RE TALKING TO CHRISSY AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: YOU TOLD ME THAT MILES IS LEARNING HOW TO PLAY
BASEBALL YEAH, HE'S PLAYING TEE-BALL
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AND A BEST-SELLING
COOKBOOK AUTHOR. SHE'S ALSO EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THE DOCUSERIES, "THE WAY
DOWN." IT IS SO GOOD, BY THE WAY. "THE WAY DOWN.
I'VE WATCHED FOUR EPISODES OF IT GET READY.
IT'S CALLED "THE WAY DOWN: GOD, GREED, AND THE CULT OF GWEN SHAMBLIN.
THE FINAL TWO EPISODES PREMIERE ON HBO MAX THIS THURSDAY EVERYBODY PLEASE WELCOME,
CHRISSY TEIGEN
*
HI! Jimmy: NICE LITTLE STANDING
OVATION. HEY, EVERYBODY! YOU HAVE, LIKE, A FULL
AUDIENCE Jimmy: YEAH, WE HAVE A FULL AUDIENCE
THEY'RE THE BEST AUDIENCE OUT THERE. OH, IT LOOKS GREAT.
THEY ARE A GOOD AUDIENCE Jimmy: WE'RE EXCITED THAT YOU'RE HERE.
I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO BE HERE. Jimmy: I KNOW
I LOVE HAVING YOU. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS DOCUSERIES
YES Jimmy: 'CAUSE I'M -- HONESTLY, I'M OBSESSED
I'M FREAKING OUT IT'S PRETTY - IT'S JUICY
IT'S GOOD. Jimmy: IT IS INTENSE. BUT FIRST, HOW IS THE FAMILY
HOW ARE THE LITTLE BABIES? THEY ARE SO GOOD. THEY'RE KEEPING US SO BUSY
THEY JUST -- LUNA JUST TURNED 6 AND MILES IS ABOUT TO TURN 4
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT Jimmy: COME ON? YEAH.
Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT, ALREADY. YEAH, IT'S SO COOL THOUGH
Jimmy: 6 AND 4. YEAH, BUT THEY COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER
BUT IT'S LIKE IT KEEPS US ON OUR TOES ALL DAY I TRULY LOVE IT.
IT'S SO MUCH - Jimmy: YOU TOLD ME THAT MILES IS LEARNING HOW TO PLAY
BASEBALL YEAH, HE'S PLAYING TEE-BALL NOW.
WHICH IS SO COOL - Jimmy: AT 4 -- BECAUSE I LOVED BASEBALL
GROWING UP, SO Jimmy: AND DOES HE UNDERSTAND THE RULES
NO, NOT AT ALL. Jimmy: OKAY, YEAH NO.
HE'S LIKE A BLANK -- I MEAN, IMAGINE GOING INTO IT BLINDLY. LIKE HE LITERALLY DOESN'T --
HE'S NEVER SEEN A BASEBALL GAME BEFORE YOU'LL BE LIKE -
HIS COACH WILL BE LIKE, "GO TO FIRST BASE." AND HE'S LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW
WHAT FIRST BASE IS!" [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, I DON'T --
YEAH HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY. Jimmy: IT'S A TRICKY GAME TO
JUST PUT ON AND BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT," AND TRY TO EXPLAIN WHILE IT'S HAPPENING
IT'S TOO TRICKY. YEAH. NO IT IS
AND HONESTLY, THEY HAVE -- THEY HAVE HIM PLAY LIKE EVERY DIFFERENT --
Jimmy: POSITION EVERY POSITION. AND THEY WERE LIKE, "MILES IS
GOING TO PLAY FIRST. AND I WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT
THE BALL IS ALWAYS GOING TO GO TO HIM." BUT HE DID AND HE -- I DON'T
KNOW WE HAVE FUN WATCHING WE'LL SAY THAT
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU BROUGHT US A VERY CUTE CLIP OF MILES GETTING -
WAS IT HIS FIRST HIT YEAH, IT WAS HIS FIRST HIT. AND I -- OH, MY GOD, IT WAS
SO - IT WAS REALLY -- Jimmy: SO HE HITS THE BALL
AND THEN DOESN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT - HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Jimmy: OF COURSE.]E BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T EXPLAINED IT TO HIM
Jimmy: YEAH HERE'S MILES -- HERE'S MILES GETTING HIS FIRST HIT.
LOOK AT THIS
[ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: HE'S JUST WALKING. [ LAUGHTER ] YES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S MILES THAT'S MY DUDE
CONGRATULATIONS. HE WAS SO COOL HE'S LIKE, "NOW WHAT'S UP?
I KNOW -- I KNOW. WE ARE NOT AN ATHLETIC BUNCH, HONESTLY
BUT JOHN IS SO PROUD SOMEONE IS LIKE, "DROP THE BAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DROP THE BAT LIKE, YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN
EVERY PART LIKE, OF COURSE HE WOULDN'T KNOW TO DROP THE BAT
Jimmy: NO, COME ON. BUT IT'S SO SWEET Jimmy: THAT'S THE BEST
THING. IT'S REALLY AWESOME. Jimmy: HAVING KIDS IS THE
GREATEST THING YEAH, IT REALLY IS SO FUN Jimmy: I HEARD THAT YOU HAD
A RECENT INCIDENT WITH LUNA AND THE TOOTH FAIRY. OH YEAH
YEAH WHAT A - Jimmy: HOW DOES THE TOOTH
FAIRY -- I KNOW - WELL, I DON'T KNOW THE RULES
OF ANYTHING. LIKE, NO ONE -- LIKE, YOU FORGET, LIKE, WHAT THE LIE IS.
LIKE, AT EASTER WE WERE LIKE - LIKE -- SHE WAS LIKE, SO - Jimmy: WHAT'S THE BACK
STORY? YEAH, DID WE LEAVE THE EGGS OUT, OR DID THE EASTER BUNNY
BRING THE EGGS Jimmy: YEAH, EASTER BUNNY AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M --
DID I MAKE THE BASKET, OR DID THE EASTER BUNNY MAKE THE BASKET
Jimmy: SOMETIMES THE BUNNY BRINGS THE BASKET. RIGHT
Jimmy: SOMETIMES YOU PROVIDE THE BASKET BUT, SO, IT DOESN'T -- YEAH,
THERE'S NO RHYME -- THERE'S NO RULES. Jimmy: NO RULES
EVER. Jimmy: TOOTH FAIRY IS REALLY OUT THERE.
TOOTH FAIRY - Jimmy: THAT'S A TOUGH ONE TO EXPLAIN.
YEAH. SO, SHE LOSES HER FIRST TOOTH, AND THEN I PROMPTLY DROPPED IT
DOWN THE SINK, LIKE IMMEDIATELY, IN MY BATHROOM SINK
AND IT'S KIND OF AN ODD SINK SO THERE'S THIS -- THERE'S THIS, LIKE, KIND OF LONG DIVOT
THAT IT COULD FALL INTO. AND SO WE HAD TO -- IT WAS, LIKE, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. WE HAD TO BRING SOMEONE IN WITH A CAMERA, LIKE THE
ROTO-ROOTER CAMERA THING THAT GOES DOWN AND SPIRALS IN Jimmy: WHAT
FOUND THE TOOTH, PUT IT IN A ZIPLOC BAG I WAS SO HAPPY
AND THEN I THREW THE ZIPLOC BAG AWAY, LIKE IMMEDIATELY [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YOU TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YEAH, I DID
Jimmy: LIKE, CLEAN IT UP, THROW IT OUT YEAH.
THAT'S MY THING TOO, IS I THROW AWAY EVERYTHING. I LOVE THROWING THINGS AWAY.
Jimmy: YEAH SO, YEAH, THAT ONE'S GONE BUT I DO HAVE HER OTHER ONES
Jimmy: YEAH, MY -- FRANNY SWALLOWED HER FIRST TOOTH. OH REALLY
Jimmy: YEAH, SHE WAS LIKE, "I LOST MY FIRST TOOTH." "OH, MY GOD, WHERE IS IT?"
HOW GROSS ARE THEIR FIRST -- THEIR TEETH TOO? Jimmy: SHE'S -- "I SWALLOWED
IT." [ LAUGHTER ] THE ROOT IS SO LONG
I DIDN'T KNOW TEETH ROOTS WERE THAT LONG. IS IT JUST LUNA?
Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT TOOTH WAS READY TO BE PULLED [ LAUGHTER ]
MAYBE NOT Jimmy: REALLY, YEAH NO, I DON'T THINK I HAD MY -- I
DID RECENTLY, THOUGH, MY DAD WAS GIVING ME STUFF THAT HE'S HAD FOREVER AND DIDN'T WANT,
AND GAVE ME, LIKE, A BAG OF MY OWN TEETH. SEE, THAT'S -- I THINK
THAT'S COOL. [ LAUGHTER ] NO
Jimmy: NO THANKS. NO THANKS. I HAVE THEIR UMBILICAL
CORDS. Jimmy: WHAT I HAVE --
Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK HE GAVE ME THAT TOO. IT WAS IN -- LET'S JUST KEEP IT
IN THE SHOE BOX. WE'RE GOOD I HAVE THE CORDS, TEETH,
EVERYTHING Jimmy: SURPRISE ME LATER. YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH, I GO, "NO, WE'LL FREAK OUT MY KIDS LATER. I DON'T DO THE FINGERNAILS
THOUGH Jimmy: OH, STOP IT. NO ONE HAS FINGERNAILS
NO. NO RIGHT?
Jimmy: BUT I'M JUST LIKE, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH MY --"
I DON'T KNOW I GUESS IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING.
NO YOUR OLD TEETH? Jimmy: NO
I DON'T -- YEAH, I DON'T KNOW MY MOM KEEPS ALL THAT STUFF
TOO. Jimmy: IT'S WILD. YEAH.
Jimmy: IT'S WILD WHAT PARENTS KEEP I KNOW.
I DON'T MIND IT THOUGH, I'VE GOT TO SAY Jimmy: YEAH, I'M GOOD NOT
HAVING ANY - [ LAUGHTER ] I'M LIKE -
I'M FINE WITHOUT IT Jimmy: YEAH YOU KNOW, I WAS LOOKING AT THIS
BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE, YOU GUYS -- WHEN
NORMAL FAMILIES GO OUT, THEY GO TO WHATEVER. THEY GO TO A RESTAURANT, THEY
GO BOWLING WHEN YOU GUYS GO OUT, YOU GO TO THE GRAMMYS.
[ LAUGHTER ] WE GO BOWLING A LOT Jimmy: HERE'S YOU AT THE
GRAMMYS. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] EVERYONE LOOKING GOOD.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE TO BRING THE KIDS THAT WAS THEIR FIRST TIME TO
LAS VEGAS. Jimmy: OH, IS THAT WHERE IT WAS?
YEAH, IT WAS CRAZY. BECAUSE WELL, JOHN, WHEN HE TOLD ME WE WERE GOING TO GO TO
GRAMMYS, HE WAS LIKE, "DO YOU WANT TO GO?" AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, IT'S LIKE,
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON VACATION DURING THIS TIME. AND THEN HE WAS LIKE, "NO.
HE'S LIKE, "WELL, I'VE BEEN ASKED TO PERFORM." Jimmy: HE WAS GREAT, BY THE
WAY. LIKE, LET'S BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY OUT
YEAH, IT WAS REALLY WONDERFUL. BUT HE DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS IN LAS VEGAS.
SO, LIKE, WE HAD TO BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY TO VEGAS. Jimmy: IT'S USUALLY IN L.A.
YEAH. SO THEY HAD A GOOD TIME, THOUGH
THEY GOT TO SEE, LIKE, A TON OF CELEBRITIES, OBVIOUSLY Jimmy: BUT GET DRESSED UP
AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL Jimmy: AND THEY JUST LOOK
LIKE -- LOOK HOW COOL. YEAH. AND MILES LOVES A SUIT
HE'S VERY -- HE'S LIKE JOHN. Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S LIKE, "YEAH, I JUST HIT A SINGLE
NO BIG DEAL. [ LAUGHTER ] NOW I'M OFF TO THE GRAMMYS
[ LAUGHTER ] I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS DOCUSERIES, OKAY
YEAH. Jimmy: NOW IT'S CALLED "THE WAY DOWN."
W-A-Y. YES Jimmy: AND I SAY THAT
BECAUSE DIDN'T GWEN HAVE A A THING CALLED LIKE "THE WEIGH?
YEAH, SO SHE HAD -- SHE STARTED AS THIS -- SHE STARTED SOMETHING CALLED "THE WEIGH
DOWN WORKSHOP. AND SHE WAS JUST THIS BIG DIET GURU
SHE WAS AN AUTHOR. SHE SOLD A LOT OF BOOKS. AND THEN SHE RE -- YOU KNOW,
WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE LOVE MORE THAN MONEY IS POWER. SO, SHE KIND OF DECIDED TO MELD
IT WITH THIS, LIKE, TOXIC CHRISTIANITY AND THEN START THIS CULT-LIKE FOLLOWING AT
THIS CHURCH CALLED THE REMNANT FELLOWSHIP Jimmy: YEAH
STARTED HER OWN CHURCH YES SHE PREYED ON THE INSECURITIES
OF A LOT OF THE PEOPLE THAT FOLLOWED HER AND SHE BASICALLY HAD THESE,
YOU KNOW, FUNDAMENTALIST VALUES, BUT SHE TIED IT INTO, YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO PRAY
INSTEAD OF -- EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO EAT, YOU SHOULD JUST PRAY
AND IT WAS BASICALLY LIKE, INTUITIVE EATING BUT IT WAS JUST ALL DONE SO
WRONG AND SO TOXIC Jimmy: AND EVERYONE BOUGHT THIS BOOK.
AND EVERYONE GOT - EVERYONE BOUGHT THE BOOK. EVERYONE WAS SO DOWN WITH "THE
WEIGH DOWN." Jimmy: SHE WAS ON EVERY TALK SHOW
AND IT'S A THING YES YEAH
Jimmy: AND YOU'RE LIKE, "WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON?" OH IT WAS A BIG THING
YEAH, SO -- AND SHE JUST TOOK OFF. SHE JUST GOT MORE AND MORE
POWERFUL AND HAD MORE AND MORE FOLLOWERS. AND EVERYTHING
THE EGO GOT BIGGER THE HAIR GOT BIGGER. Jimmy: HER HAIR, BY THE WAY,
IS UNBELIEVABLE. HER HAIR, YEAH. Jimmy: YOU THINK IT'S A
A JOKE IT'S NOT A JOKE. I KNOW.
YOU START TO -- AND THEN, I WAS ACTUALLY LIKE -- WHEN WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS AT SOUTH BY
SOUTHWEST, WE WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY Jimmy: HOW?
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE SHE WORE THESE, LIKE, CHUNKY SHOES AND HAD BIG HAIR
AND I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS TO MAKE HERSELF FEEL SMALLER, IN A WAY.
LIKE, IF SHE WAS SURROUNDED BY THESE BIG THINGS, IT MAKES HER FEEL DAINTY OR SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW Jimmy: I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY OTHER PERSON WITH THAT HAIRDO
IN MY LIFE NO, NEVER Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
COMPARE IT TO. HIGHER THE HAIR, THE CLOSER TO GOD THEY SAY.
Jimmy: WOW -- YEAH, THERE IT IS MAYBE THAT'S IT
Jimmy: SHE DEFINITELY GOT CLOSE. AND THE HUSBAND AND ALL THAT
STUFF -- YEAH. Jimmy: AND THEN YOU GO --
YEAH, THE HUSBAND WAS TARZAN I MEAN, IT WAS ALL SUCH
A WEIRD -- Jimmy: NO, HER HUSBAND ACTUALLY WAS -
HE WAS TARZAN Jimmy: HE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE JUNGLE
OH, NO, SORRY HE PLAYED TARZAN Jimmy: PLAYED TARZAN.
YEAH, YEAH TARZAN'S NOT REAL [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: HOPEFULLY THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP THEY'RE LIKE, "TOOTH FAIRY,
EASTER BUNNY, TARZAN." [ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW.
Jimmy: "WHAT IS GOING ON? TARZAN IS REAL Jimmy: JUST DOESN'T KNOW IF
HE BRINGS HIS OWN BASKETS. WHO KNOWS. I THINK JOE WAS ACTUALLY,
KIND OF, THE MOST FASCINATING PART OF THE SERIES Jimmy: ME TOO
BECAUSE HE'S, LIKE, SO CAPTIVATING. AND IT'S SO WEIRD.
YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS GUY HAS EVER OPENED THE BIBLE.
HE'S, LIKE, READING IT SIDEWAYS AND HE'S LIKE TRYING -
Jimmy: AND NOW HE'S IN CHARGE YEAH, AND NOW HE'S THE
LEADER Jimmy: HE'S A LEADER, AND HE'S TELLING THESE PEOPLE ABOUT
THIS RELIGION. AND EVERYONE'S LIKE, "WHO IS THIS GUY?"
AND, YOU KNOW, NATASHA WHO IS FEATURED ON IT AS WELL, WAS HIS EX
AND THE MOTHER OF HIS -- Jimmy: SHE WAS GREAT. YEAH, SHE'S INCREDIBLE.
AND SHE JUST GOES, SHE'S LIKE, "HE WAS NEVER RELIGIOUS. HE WAS NEVER A RELIGIOUS
PERSON HE WAS AN OUT OF WORK ACTOR. AND JUST, LIKE, HE DIDN'T
REALLY -- THIS WASN'T THE PERSON HE WAS. Jimmy: BUT IT'S ALSO NOT
THAT LONG AGO, SADLY I KNOW. Jimmy: I MEAN, LIKE -
I KNOW. Jimmy: YOU GO, LIKE, "OH, IS THIS FROM THE '60s OR
SOMETHING? I KNOW. Jimmy: AND YOU GO, "THIS
WAS, LIKE, TEN YEARS AGO." THAT'S THE WEIRDEST PART TO ME, IS THESE STORIES EXIST, AND
WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT -- THAT THIS IS HAPPENING. SO WHEN IT WAS BROUGHT TO ME, I
WAS LIKE, "NO WAY THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK.
Jimmy: BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT -- AS YOU WERE FINISHING UP
PRODUCTION ON THE SERIES, SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED. YEAH, OH, MY GOD, IT WAS --
YEAH, WE WOKE UP ONE DAY AND JUST SCROLLING OUR NEWS FEED AND SAW THAT THEIR -- GWEN'S --
GWEN AND JOE'S PLANE HAD CRASHED INTO A LAKE OUTSIDE OF NASHVILLE.
AND EVERYONE ON THE PLANE DIED SO, YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST LIKE -- IT WAS TERRIFYING
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW WHO WAS ON THE PLANE EXACTLY AND NATASHA DIDN'T KNOW IF HER
DAUGHTER WAS ON THE PLANE. AND IT WAS JUST SO SCARY AND A REALLY WEIRD TIME.
AND, YOU KNOW, WE'D GET ON THE PHONE WITH HBO MAX AND WE WONDER, YOU KNOW, SHOULD WE
CONTINUE WITH THIS BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, AS TIME PASSED, WE REALIZED THAT PEOPLE
WERE MORE AND MORE OKAY WITH SPEAKING OUT NOW THAT SHE WAS GONE
LIKE THEY WERE VERY FEARFUL OF HER. Jimmy: THEY WERE AFRAID TO
SAY ANYTHING YEAH, THEY WERE SCARED TO GO AGAINST HER.
THEY DIDN'T KNOW IF THE CHURCH WOULD COME AND ATTACK THEIR FAMILIES
OR, YOU KNOW, THEY FELT LIKE THEY WERE IN DANGER. SO, WHEN SHE HAD PASSED,
PEOPLE -- AND THAT'S KIND OF WHAT PART TWO IS, GOING INTO IT NOW, ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT
ARE NO LONGER AFRAID TO SPEAK OUT. Jimmy: OH, IT IS FANTASTIC.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S A PEEK OF THE NEW EPISODE OF "THE WAY DOWN."
TAKE A LOOK.
THAT TEXT WASN'T JUST FOR
THE PEOPLE WITHIN REMNANT, BUT FROM ANYONE OUTSIDE OF REMNANT THAT WOULD GET AHOLD OF THAT
THAT, I BELIEVE, WAS DEFINITELY MORE OF HER MOTIVE BEHIND THAT TEXT THAN IT WAS BEING SENT
DIRECTLY TO THE REMNANT CONGREGATION A LOT OF WHAT CULTS OFTEN DO
WITH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS IS VERY ORWELLIAN IT WILL BE ALMOST IGNORED
BECAUSE IT DOES NOT FIT THEIR NARRATIVE THAT THEIR LEADER WAS STRUCK DOWN IN AN ACCIDENT THAT
GOD COULD HAVE PROTECTED HER FROM IF THE RIGHTEOUS ARE PROTECTED
BY THE HAND OF GOD, HOW COULD GWEN HAVE DIED LIKE THAT [ APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: CHRISSY TEIGEN, EVERYBODY. THE FINAL EPISODES OF "THE WAY
DOWN: GOD, GREED, AND THE CULT OF GWEN SHAMBLIN" PREMIERE THURSDAY ON HBO MAX.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CRISTIN MILIOTI. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A TALENTED ACTRESS WHO STARS IN THE HBO MAX SERIES "MADE FOR LOVE," WHICH RETURNS FOR ITS
SECOND SEASON THIS THURSDAY. EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME CRISTIN MILIOTI.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: CRISTIN MILIOTI! HI! Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE
SHOW OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU.
Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC THANKS SO MUCH. Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I'M DOING
A LITTLE RESEARCH FOR OUR INTERVIEW HERE AND I SAW IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO
THAT YOU HAD ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST -- ONE OF YOUR FIRST ROLES, YOU WERE IN "ONCE" ON
BROADWAY YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WAS TEN
YEARS AGO. Jimmy: TEN YEARS AGO. IT'S BANANAS.
Jimmy: THAT'S WILD. YEAH. Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER
ABOUT -- BECAUSE YOU GOT NOMINATED FOR A TONY FOR THAT. I DID
Jimmy: YEAH I WAS YEAH
I WAS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
YEAH, TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT. I MEAN, THAT'S PRETTY -- YEAH, IT WAS WILD
IT WAS, LIKE, BEYOND ANYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED IT WAS REALLY, LIKE, A GOLDEN
EXPERIENCE Jimmy: YEAH IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Jimmy: DO YOU GET NERVOUS WHEN FAMOUS PEOPLE COME TO SEE THE SHOW AND -
TERRIBLY. I -- Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE TO NOT
KNOW I LIKE TO NOT KNOW. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO KNOW WHEN
FRIENDS OF MINE ARE THERE. Jimmy: RIGHT. I'VE GOTTEN A LOT CHILLER
ABOUT THAT NOW BECAUSE THAT'S NOT QUITE AS CHILL A THING TO DO.
BE LIKE, "COME SEE IT, BUT DON'T TELL ME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE NOT QUITE DOING THAT ANYMORE YEAH, I DON'T DO THAT
ANYMORE. BUT I WAS REALLY ALWAYS VERY, VERY NERVOUS
AND -- THERE WAS ONE NIGHT WHERE I ENTER, LIKE, THROUGH THE BACK OF THE AUDIENCE FOR
THAT SHOW, AND I ENTER -- SO, YOU WAIT IN THE BACK OF THE HOUSE.
AND I SAW THERE WAS SECRET SERVICE EVERYWHERE AND BEYONCE AND JAY-Z HAD BEEN
COMING TO SEE, LIKE, A LOT OF BROADWAY SHOWS THAT WEEK AND I WAS LIKE, "HERE WE GO.
LIKE, I WAS LIKE, "WELL, THEY'RE HERE THIS IS GREAT.
Jimmy: I'M ABOUT TO MEET THEM I WAS ABOUT TO MEET -
AND I WAS LIKE SHAKING AND I WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE HERE
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE GOING TO SEE IT. OKAY
ALL RIGHT. AND I -- WE DID THE SHOW AND THEY, QUICKLY, AS SOON AS
IT ENDS, THEY WERE LIKE, "COME BACKSTAGE, SOMEONE PRETTY SPECIAL WANTS TO MEET YOU
GUYS." AND WE WERE ALL LIKE SHAKING - [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
Jimmy: BEYONCE JUST HEARD ME SING WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? AND THEY WERE LIKE, "OKAY,
GUYS, COME ON OUT. JOE BIDEN'S HERE." AND I WAS LIKE -
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YES. WHICH, YOU KNOW
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IT'S DIFFERENT. Jimmy: IT'S A DIFFERENT TYPE
OF - IT'S JUST DIFFERENT Jimmy: IT'S A DIFFERENT -
IT'S DIFFERENT Jimmy: IT'S DIFFERENT TYPE OF SPECIAL
IT'S A DIFFERENT TYPE OF SPECIAL. BUT IT'S VERY -- THEY'RE PRETTY
DIFFERENT. Jimmy: YEAH, DID BEYONCE EVER COME TO SEE THE SHOW?
SHE DIDN'T MAKE IT. I THINK SHE HAD STUFF SHE HAD TO DO.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND -- THEY'RE BUSY. Jimmy: SHE NEVER SAW "ONCE"
ONCE YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. SHE DIDN'T SEE IT ONCE
Jimmy: "NONCE." SHE SAW IT "NONCE." Jimmy: SHE SAW IT "NONCE.
YEAH, SHE SAW IT NONCE. THAT'S OKAY. Jimmy: WE ASKED IF YOU HAD
ANY PHOTOS OF ANYONE BACKSTAGE, AND YOU WERE LIKE, "I GUESS. THEN, WOW, THIS IS A HOME RUN.
A HOME RUN. Jimmy: LIZA MINNELLI CAME TO SEE YOU.
YES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT WOULD FREAK ME
OUT MORE THAN -- OH, WELL, YOU CAN SEE I'M OUT OF MY BODY
I HAVE -- SHE CAME AND I BURST INTO DOVES AND I COULDN'T -- I WAS BESIDE MYSELF.
BECAUSE SHE'S AN ICON. Jimmy: WELL, IT'S LIZA MINELLI
THERE'S NO ONE GREATER. AND HER WHOLE ENTIRE CAREER -- I MEAN, I JUST REWATCHED
"ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" IN LOCKDOWN AND HER ON THAT IS INCREDIBLE.
Jimmy: LIZA MINNELLI IS JUST A -- SHE'S A LEGEND
AMAZING. AND "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" IS LIKE FUNNY "SUCCESSION.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT
AS I WAS WATCHING -- I MEAN, "SUCCESSION" IS VERY FUNNY, TOO.
BUT I WAS LIKE, "WOAH. THERE'S LIKE -- THERE'S LIKE SOME -
Jimmy: I GET IT YEAH. Jimmy: YEAH
BUT SHE WAS -- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO LIZA MINELLI? NOTHING
I THINK I JUST STAMMERED AND SHOOK AND GOT SWEATY AND - Jimmy: DID EVERYONE FREAK
OUT? SHE WAS LOVELY. SHE LINED US ALL UP AND SHE
WENT UP AND DOWN THE LINE AND GAVE EVERYONE, LIKE, TWO SPECIFIC COMPLIMENTS WHILE
HOLDING THEIR SHOULDERS. SHE HELD MY FACE I MEAN, I PASSED OUT
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID, BUT --
Jimmy: I LOVE LIZA MINELLI. I KNOW. Jimmy: SPEAKING OF ICONS --
I WAS SO NERVOUS. Jimmy: THERE'S A THING -- THERE'S A CHER BIOPIC IN THE
WORKS. AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE I'M A BIG CHER FAN
YEAH. Jimmy: BUT -- THERE'S FANS ON TWITTER THAT SAID YOU SHOULD
PLAY HER IN THE BIOPIC WELL -- AND I WAS VERY FLUMMOXED BY THAT.
FLATTERED. Jimmy: FLATTERED AND FLUMMOXED.
FLATTERED AND FLUMMOXED BURSTING INTO BATS I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
YEAH, I REALIZED A FRIEND OF MINE HAD TOLD ME ABOUT IT. AND I THINK I HAD FOUND IT SO
OUTLANDISH AND, LIKE, LOVELY BUT I WAS LIKE, "WELL, NO. LIKE, SHE'S CHER
AND SHE'S -- I MEAN, I WORSHIP AT HER FEET TOO. BUT SHE'S LIKE A SLINKY CAT AND
I'M LIKE, YOU KNOW - I'M LIKE DON KNOTTS ON A BOAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HE'S HAVING FUN, BUT HE'S WINDSWEPT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S LIKE -- Jimmy: YOU THINK YOU'RE
DON KNOTTS ON A BOAT COMPARED TO SLINKY CAT YEAH.
LIKE, SHE'S LIKE CHIQ AND SHE'S LIKE, ALL -- AND I JUST -
Jimmy: YOU'RE DON KNOTTS? ON A BOAT, JIMMY. DID I STUTTER?
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DON KNOTTS ON A BOAT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
LIKE, SHE'S SO, LIKE, HIP BABE GROOVY Jimmy: SHE'S UNBELIEVABLE
UNBELIEVABLE. I WOULD -- I'VE SEEN "BURLESQUE" 30 TIMES
Jimmy: BUT WHAT IF THERE'S A DON KNOTTS BIOPIC? YOU UP FOR THAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING TO FIGHT. I'M GOING TO FIGHT TOOTH AND
NAIL YEAH I'M GOING TO BE LIKE, "GET
THIS, HE'S ON A BOAT." [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HE HAS LONG HAIR
HE HAS LONG HAIR. Jimmy: AND HE'S GORGEOUS. BUT HE'S ON A BOAT.
Jimmy: "MADE FOR LOVE," SEASON TWO PREMIERES THIS THURSDAY ON HBO MAX.
I LOVED THE FIRST SEASON EVERYONE LOVED THE FIRST SEASON
CONGRATS ON THE GREAT REVIEWS. HOW DO YOU SET UP SEASON TWO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE
WELL -- Jimmy: IT'S TRICKIER. GOSH, IT'S TRICKIER
Jimmy: WELL, YOUR HUSBAND'S PLANTED A CHIP IN YOUR BRAIN AND HE CAN SEE EVERYTHING
AND THEN I -- MY ONE ALLY IS MY FATHER I'VE BEEN GASLIT BY MY HUSBAND
I'M NOW GASLIGHTING MY FATHER. IT IS A COMEDY BUT, WE --
Jimmy: RAY ROMANO PLAYS YOUR DAD. RAY ROMANO PLAYS MY DAD
BUT WE -- SHE HAS TO LIVE THIS, LIKE, DOUBLE LIFE LIE NOW. AND SO, IT GETS VERY, VERY
MURKY. Jimmy: VERY TRICKY. VERY TRICKY
Jimmy: YOU AND BILLY ARE GREAT TOGETHER YOU GUYS HAVE WORKED TOGETHER?
YEAH, WE PLAYED HUSBAND AND WIFE IN THIS INDY FILM A A MILLION YEARS AGO.
AND IT WAS, LIKE, THE FIRST FILM - IT WAS THE FIRST JOB I EVER
JUST GOT A PHONE CALL AND THEY WERE LIKE, "THEY WANT YOU TO PLAY THIS ROLE."
AND I WAS LIKE, "THEY DO?" BUT -- WHICH IS GREAT, BUT THEN DON'T --
Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO AUDITION YOU DON'T HAVE TO AUDITION,
WHICH IS SO GREAT. BUT YOU DON'T -- THEN THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO
DO SO, I SHOWED UP AND I HAD, LIKE, FOUR LINES
BUT I MADE THIS WHOLE BACK STORY THAT SHE HAD A PILL ADDICTION AND SHE WORE SHOES
THAT WERE TOO SMALL, SO I WOULD WALK WEIRD AND I HAD A DRESS THAT I
COULDN'T, LIKE, TURN AROUND IN SO THAT SHE'D HAVE TO BE LIKE REALLY, LIKE, SLURRY BUT, LIKE,
LOCKED AND IT WAS - Jimmy: THAT'S A CHOICE.
I'LL SAY. Jimmy: FOR FOUR LINES FOR FOUR LINES.
YEAH, I WAS LIKE, "WELL, I GOT TO --" Jimmy: DID YOU TALK TO THE
DIRECTOR OR ANYONE BEFORE YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHOICE NO, NO.
Jimmy: SO YOU CAME ON SET AS THIS PERSON. SO I CAME ON SET --
Jimmy: YOU'RE GO, "OH, GET READY. ARE THE CAMERAS ARE ROLLING?
AS THE CAMERAS ROLLING. Jimmy: BECAUSE HERE COMES THIS PERSON.
AND I CAME UP, AND I FORGET WHAT MY FIRST LINE IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE, "THANKS
FOR INVITING ME TO THE PARTY" OR SOMETHING AND I WAS LIKE, IN A SAUSAGE
DRESS BEING LIKE, "THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THE PABBY." AND THEY WERE LIKE, "CUT
NO." AND SHE WAS LIKE -- AND I REMEMBER THE DIRECTOR LIKE --
AND IT WAS A BIG PARTY SCENE AND SHE CAME OVER AND SHE WAS LIKE, "WHAT --
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" YEAH, LIKE - Jimmy: "ARE YOU OKAY?
"ARE YOU OKAY?" EXACTLY. SHE WAS LIKE "ARE YOU NERVOUS?
AND I WAS LIKE, "NO, WELL, SHE HAS A PILL ADDICTION." Jimmy: MY CHARACTER HAS A
A PILL ADDICTION AND I HAD FOUR LINES. AND I WAS LIKE, "SHE'S LIKE,
WELL, BECAUSE SHE TOOK ALL THOSE PILLS BEFORE THE PARTY, I DON'T KNOW."
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "YEAH, CAN YOU JUST MAKE HER SOUTHERN?" AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU GOT IT.
AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, ACTION. AND I WAS LIKE "HOWDY --
Jimmy: "HEY, Y'ALL! "HEY, Y'ALL IT'S, LIKE, REALLY GREAT BEING
AT THIS PARTY. Jimmy: DISASTER DISASTER.
AND THEN -- AND BILLY AND I GOT UP TO -- WE TOOK A TRAIN TO TOON TOWN.
WE WERE GETTING -- 'CAUSE THEN I WAS LIKE, "WELL, NOW EVERYTHING'S OUT THE WINDOW.
I'M SOUTHERN I HAD A WHOLE THING GOING. Jimmy: IS HE SOUTHERN TOO
NOW? I BELIEVE HE WAS. I DON'T REMEMBER
Jimmy: SO HE'S LIKE, "HEY Y'ALL. I DON'T THINK THE PICTURE --
THIS PICTURE, I JUST, LIKE, WENT TO THE '40s THE MOVIE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I DON'T THINK -- Jimmy: I DON'T THINK THE
PICTURE -- THEY NEVER MADE IT. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THE PICTURE EVEN TOOK PLACE IN THE
SOUTH. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT YEAH
IT DIDN'T TAKE PLACE IN THE SOUTH. NO, AND BOTH OF US WERE JUST
LIKE - "OH, MY LORD." Jimmy: CAN WE SEE THAT
MOVIE? CAN WE SEE YOU IN IT YOU PERSONALLY CANNOT
[ LAUGHTER ] SORRY. Jimmy: I REALLY WANT TO
YOU CAN'T, I'M SORRY. Jimmy: I REALLY CAN'T NO.
Jimmy: I PROMISE YOU. AS A FRIEND, I PROMISE YOU YOU GUYS CAN'T.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS CAN'T.
ANYONE IN THE ROOM IS NOT ALLOWED, UNFORTUNATELY Jimmy: BUT WE CAN WATCH YOU
IN "MADE FOR LOVE" ON HBO MAX. I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S CRISTIN MILIOTI IN "MADE
FOR LOVE." TAKE A LOOK.
AM I A GHOST OR SOMETHING. DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE ME I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
I AM HAZEL GOGOL, AND I AM [ BLEEP ALLOWED TO BE DOWN HERE NOW
BECAUSE I HAVE -- BECAUSE I HAVE THIS. UM, YOU.
WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT IS YOUR NAME WELL, WILLIAM
IS THAT A SEVERED FINGER GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. GOOD MORNING.
DID YOU NEED TO - YOU NEED TO TELL THEM THAT I'M ALLOWED TO BE DOWN HERE.
AND THAT THEY CAN TALK TO ME LIKE I'M A NORMAL [ BLEEP ] PERSON BECAUSE -
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M THE BOOGIEMAN. OF COURSE
RIGHT, RIGHT I'LL CORRECT THIS IMMEDIATELY. Jimmy: WOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HOW FUN. CRISTIN MILIOTI, EVERYBODY
SEASON TWO OF "MADE FOR LOVE" PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM SOCCER MOMMY. STICK AROUND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: PERFORMING "SHOTGUN"
FROM HER UPCOMING ALBUM "SOMETIMES, FOREVER," PLEASE WELCOME SOCCER MOMMY
* *
* FOGGED UP THE WINDOWS IN THE BAC COFFEE AND MENTHOL
ON YOUR BREATH * * UPPERS AND MY HEART NEVER MESHED
I HATED COMING DOW THIS FEELS THE SAME * * WITHOUT THE BAD THING
SO WHENEVER YOU WANT M I'LL BE AROUND I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN *
* WAITING TO SOUN WHENEVER YOU WANT ME I'LL BE AROUND
I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN * * WAITING TO SOUN OH YEAH *
* * * COLD BEER AND ICE CREAM
IS ALL WE KEEP THE ONLY THING WE REALLY NEED *
* CAUSE I LIK DESSERT AND ALCOHO AND WATCHING AS YOU GE
DRUNK AND YOU'RE STUMBLING * * IN THE HALL SO WHENEVER YOU WANT M
I'LL BE AROUND I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN * * WAITING TO SOUN
WHENEVER YOU WANT ME I'LL BE AROUND I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN *
* WAITING TO SOUN OH YEAH * *
* LOOK AT YOUR BLUE EYE LIKE THE STARS
STUCK IN THE HEADLIGHT OF A CAR * * YOU KNOW I'LL TAK
YOU AS YOU ARE AS LONG AS YOU DO ME JUST LET ME LAY HERE *
* IN YOUR ARM AND WHENEVER YOU WANT ME I'LL BE AROUND
I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN * * WAITING TO SOUN WHENEVER YOU WANT ME
I'LL BE AROUND I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN * * WAITING TO SOUN
WHENEVER YOU WANT ME I'LL BE AROUND I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN *
* WAITING TO SOUN WHENEVER YOU WANT ME I'LL BE AROUND
I'M A BULLET IN A SHOTGUN * * WAITING TO SOUN OH YEAH *
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH. SOCCER MOMMY, "SOMETIMES,
FOREVER" IS OUT JUNE 24th. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
CHRISSY TEIGEN, CRISTIN MILIOTI, SOCCER MOMMY, ONCE AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU.