1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,679 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:19,786 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:23,289 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JARED LETO 4 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:27,327 STEPHEN MERCHANT COMEDIAN TAYLOR TOMLINSON, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:35,201 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1625 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:40,640 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:46,680 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:46,680 --> 00:01:00,360 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:06,166 >> Jimmy: YOU SOUND GREAT! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 10 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:10,403 "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT. 11 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:14,240 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 12 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,609 LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS WELL GUYS, TODAY CNN OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED THEIR BRAND NEW 13 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:22,549 STREAMING SERVICE, CNN PLUS. THAT'S RIGHT WITH CNN PLUS CAN YOU GET NEWS 14 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:34,694 FROM CNN ALL DAY AT ANY TIME OR, AS THAT'S ALSO KNOWN, CNN. [ LAUGHTER ] 15 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,629 BUT CNN IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO REACH A YOUNGER AUDIENCE WITH THEIR STREAMING SERVICE, WHICH 16 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:42,235 EXPLAINS WHY ONE SHOW IS JUST WOLF BLITZER PLAYING FORTNITE FOR AN HOUR. 17 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:46,406 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, CNN PLUS OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED TODAY. 18 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,875 THAT'S RIGHT, A WHOLE STREAMING SERVICE FILLED WITH CNN SHOWS AND FOOTAGE. 19 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:52,612 CHECK OUT SOME OF THE SLOGANS THAT THEY'RE TESTING OUT TO GET PEOPLE ON BOARD. 20 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,750 FIRST, UP THERE'S "CNN PLUS, THE AIRPORT BAR EXPERIENCE RIGHT ON YOUR PHONE. 21 00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:02,122 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE I EVER SEE THAT AND I GO, "WOW, THAT'S 22 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,792 A GREAT CHANNEL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] NEXT UP THERE'S "CNN PLUS, THE 23 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:10,530 MOST TRUSTED NAME IN NEWS ACCORDING TO CNN.COM [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,967 YOU SAID THAT? AND FINALLY, THERE'S "CNN PLUS, YOUR DAILY DOSE OF ANXIETY -- 25 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:19,072 NOW ON MOBILE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE UGH! 26 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:25,178 OH, GOSH LET'S SWITCH GEARS GUYS, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT 27 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:28,782 THIS THE HOUSE COMMITTEE INVESTIGATING THE CAPITOL RIOT, 28 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:34,087 SAID THAT TRUMP'S WHITE HOUSE PHONE RECORDS HAVE A SEVEN HOUR GAP ON JANUARY 6th 29 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:38,124 SEVEN HOURS. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE IS A FAN OF THE SHOW "DATELINE," 30 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:43,096 BUT IF YOUR PHONE RECORDS ARE MISSING EVEN 10 MINUTES, YOU'RE GUILTY 31 00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,466 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S JUST -- "BETWEEN 9:45 AND 9:55, 32 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:52,105 TERRENCE DIDN'T ANSWER HIS PHONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 33 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,474 HE SAID HE WAS TAKING A NAP THAT HE ALWAYS TAKES, EVERY NIGHT. 34 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,778 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AT 9:45. THE ONLY TIME THERE SHOULD BE 35 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,381 A SEVEN HOUR GAP IS WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY. 36 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:08,054 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU PUT ON A DR. SEUSS HAT, GOT ON THE TRAIN 37 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,290 YEP, SEVEN HOURS ARE MISSING, YEAH EVEN THE GHOST OF RICHARD NIXON 38 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:17,764 IS LIKE, "I DON'T THINK CAN YOU DO THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 39 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,733 AND NOW AFTER MAKING THE DISCOVERY, THE HOUSE COMMITTEE IS INVESTIGATING WHETHER TRUMP 40 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:24,070 USED BURNER PHONES IT'S ALWAYS REASSURING WHEN A PRESIDENT ACTS LIKE 41 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:29,676 A CHARACTER IN "THE WIRE." YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 42 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,745 SERIOUSLY, WERE THEY PLANNING AN INSURRECTION OR SELLING WEED TO HIGH SCHOOL KIDS? 43 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,714 I DON'T -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. [ LAUGHTER ] 44 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,349 MEANWHILE, AFTER PRESIDENT BIDEN'S RECENT REMARK THAT PUTIN CANNOT REMAIN IN 45 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,118 POWER, A REPORTER ASKED BIDEN IF HE THINKS HIS COMMENT COULD CAUSE PUTIN TO ESCALATE HIS 46 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:45,191 BEHAVIOR YEAH, 'CAUSE UP UNTIL NOW PUTIN HAS KEPT THINGS PRETTY CHILL, I 47 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:51,197 THINK. [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T THINK ANYTHING BIDEN 48 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,400 SAYS IS GONNA CHANGE WHAT PUTIN DOES IT'S LIKE SHOUTING TO A LION AT 49 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,902 THE ZOO. IT DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING 50 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,004 IF THE LION CAN GET OVER THAT FAKE RIVER, YOU'RE GOING TO GET MAULED 51 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:03,877 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS FEDEX JUST ANNOUNCED THAT AFTER 52 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:09,049 MORE THAN 50 YEARS, ITS FOUNDER AND CEO IS STEPPING DOWN [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 53 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:12,152 YEP. ON HIS LAST DAY HE'LL BE DRIVEN HOME AND THEN THROWN ON TO HIS 54 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:18,425 FRONT LAWN [ LAUGHTER ] [ RIM SHOT ] 55 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:27,834 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WHOA >> Jimmy: OF COURSE HE DOESN'T 56 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,570 WANT TO LOSE TOUCH, SO HE GAVE ALL HIS COWORKERS HIS TRACKING NUMBER, WHICH IS NICE. 57 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:35,275 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS HE'S IN WISCONSIN RIGHT NOW, 58 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,678 HE'LL BE HOME SOON YOU GOTTA SEE THIS APPARENTLY VERIZON CUSTOMERS 59 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:43,583 HAVE BEEN RECEIVING SPAM TEXTS FROM THEIR OWN PHONE NUMBERS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 60 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:47,387 IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOU GET A TEXT FROM YOURSELF AT 2:00 A.M. THAT SAYS "ME UP? 61 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:56,363 [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, AT&T CUSTOMERS ARE LIKE, "HA HA, THAT'S WHAT YOU 62 00:04:56,363 --> 00:05:05,205 GET FOR USING A COMPANY THAT HAS CELL SERVICE." [ LAUGHTER ] 63 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:11,344 HEY, LISTEN TO THIS. I READ THAT AVOCADO PRICES HAVE SKYROCKETED TO A 24 YEAR HIGH. 64 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:14,848 MAN, DID I PICK THE WRONG TIME TO ENJOY GASOLINE OVER MY AVOCADO TOAST. 65 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:18,885 [ LAUGHTER ] EVERYTHING ABOUT IT FEELS WRONG. 66 00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,488 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEP. EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR CHEAPER 67 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,257 OPTIONS WHICH EXPLAINS THIS NEW JINGLE I SAW TODAY * AVOCADOS FROM 68 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:29,062 NEW JERSEY * THERE YOU GO, 'EY! [ LAUGHTER ] 69 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:33,333 "I GOT YOUR AVOCADOS RIGHT HERE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 70 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,669 >> Steve: "A COUPLE OF 'EM, 'EY. >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, POLICE 71 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,370 SAY THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A A DENNY'S IN PENNSYLVANIA EMBEZZLED OVER $200,000 FROM 72 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:44,911 THE RESTAURANT [ AUDIENCE OHS ] IT'S SERIOUS 73 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,646 IF CHARGED, THE MANAGER COULD FACE TEN YEARS IN THE GRAND SLAMMER. 74 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,115 THERE YOU GO - [ LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GIVE IT 75 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:49,716 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY. 76 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:59,225 * 77 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:09,369 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: VERY NICE, THANK YOU, 78 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,339 ROOTS. I APPRECIATE THAT. I COULDN'T EVEN GET TO THE END 79 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,574 OF THAT PUNCHLINE. >> Steve: "GRAND SLAMMER," THAT'S A GREAT JOKE, COME ON 80 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,409 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I WAS LIKE, "GRAND SLAMMER," EVERYONE SAW IT COMING. 81 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:19,446 I DID SAY IT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] GUYS, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR 82 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,114 YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW MARVEL FILM "MORBIUS," WHICH HITS THEATERS 83 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:27,654 AND IMAX THIS FRIDAY JARED LETO IS HERE >> Steve: OH 84 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:32,792 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: "MORBIUS," IT'S GOOD HE'S ALWAYS FUN. 85 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,861 >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: PLUS, HE DIRECTS, WRITES, AND STARS IN THE SERIES 86 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:40,767 "THE OUTLAWS," WHICH IS AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY ON PRIME VIDEO. 87 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:47,073 STEPHEN MERCHANT IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE VERY FUNNY HUMAN 88 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,610 SPEAKING OF FUNNY, WE HAVE GREAT STANDUP FROM TAYLOR TOMLINSON 89 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,480 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 90 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:58,151 >> Jimmy: "LOOK AT YOU!" STREAMING ON NETFLIX TAYLOR TOMLINSON 91 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,788 HEY, EVERYONE, IT IS NANA WEEK AND MY NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK, "NANA LOVES YOU MORE" IS OUT 92 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:08,194 TODAY! IT'S PUB DAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 93 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:12,799 * IT IS -- THEY CALL -- THEY CALL IT "PUB DAY. 94 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,868 >> Steve: "PUB DAY." >> Jimmy: PUBLISHING DAY >> Steve: OH 95 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,736 >> Jimmy: AND IT'S CALLED PUB DAY. IT'S A LITTLE INSIDE 96 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,372 BUSINESS -- YEAH >> Steve: SO, YOU GO TO A PUB. >> Jimmy: I WENT TO A PUB AND 97 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,842 GOT SMASHED, TODAY, YEAH >> Steve: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 98 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,377 >> Jimmy: NO, I GOT A LOT -- SAY "HAPPY PUB DAY," AND THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS. 99 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,780 >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: PUBLISHING YEAH 100 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,314 DO YOU WANT ME TO READ YOU A A PAGE >> Steve: PLEASE 101 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,617 >> Jimmy: WHICH ONE? >> Steve: NOT THE SUPER SAD ONE, I DON'T WANT TO CRY 102 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,052 >> Jimmy: NO, THERE'S ONLY ONE KIND OF, LITTLE SAD ONE IN THERE. 103 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:36,189 BUT IT'S NOT THAT SAD. >> Steve: RIGHT. READ THAT ONE. 104 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,926 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU PICKED A GOOD ONE. 105 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:49,102 >> Steve: OH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * 106 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,138 >> Jimmy: "MORE THAN GOLD OR TREASURE OR MONEY? YOU ARE MY TREASURE. 107 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,209 YOU ARE MY HONEY." [ AUDIENCE AWS ] >> Steve: OH 108 00:07:56,209 --> 00:08:05,919 [ APPLAUSE ] OH SNAP 109 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,755 >> Jimmy: ANYWAY, THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE MEMORIES YOU'LL MAKE 110 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:12,592 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHEN YOU READ THIS >> Steve: AND IT'S $16,000 111 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,661 >> Jimmy: $16,000, YEAH. >> Steve: WOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 112 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,429 >> Jimmy: IN -- IN CRYPTO BUCKS. >> Steve: OH, CRYPTO BUCKS 113 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,598 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: AND -- >> Jimmy: YOU PLAY -- YOU PAY 114 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:21,034 30 JIMMY COIN -- >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: -- FOR THIS. 115 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,936 >> Steve: SURE >> Jimmy: AND YOU GET -- IT'S ONLY LIKE, WORTH, LIKE, FOUR 116 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:26,139 ETHEREUM YOU GET -- YOU GET 30 JIMMY COIN. 117 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,042 >> Steve: RIGHT. SOME - >> Jimmy: YOU GET -- 118 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,744 >> Steve: APE COIN >> Jimmy: YEP, YOU GET APE COIN, OF COURSE. 119 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,380 OBVIOUSLY, DOGE DOLLAR YOU GET -- >> Steve: KOHL'S CASH. 120 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,448 >> Jimmy: YEP. YOU GET -- UH, YEAH. DESK COIN, YOU GET THAT. 121 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:38,385 YOU TRADE IN THAT. YOU GOTTA WAIT A WEEK. >> Steve: YOU GOTTA WAIT A 122 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:39,919 A WEEK, OR ELSE IT TRANSFORMS. >> Jimmy: OH, IT'S GOING TO GO DOWN 123 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,555 YOU'LL LOSE ALL YOU -- >> Steve: YEAH IF YOU DON'T, THEY CHARGE 124 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:43,957 A FEE. >> Jimmy: -- NOW, IT'LL GO DOWN 125 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,925 I WOULD WAIT A WEEK AND THEN BUY THIS >> Steve: YEAH, YEAH 126 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,461 >> Jimmy: AND THEN - [ WHISTLES ] >> Steve: YEAH, THEN - 127 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,630 >> Jimmy: THEN SELL IT AGAIN >> Steve: YEAH, AS AN NFT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 128 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,465 >> Jimmy: AS AN NFT. >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: THEN BUY IT BACK WITH 129 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,068 AN AMERICAN DOLLAR >> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 130 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,336 >> Jimmy: SELL IT FOR GAS MONEY. >> Steve: YEAH 131 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,605 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SO ALL WEEK LONG, WE'RE GONNA -- WE'RE GIVING 132 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,373 SOME LOVE TO ALL THE GRANDMAS OUT THERE. ALL THE NANAS, ALL THE 133 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:06,913 GAM-GAMS, ALL MEE-MAWS YEAH, ALL THE NONNAS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 134 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,882 >> Steve: ABUELAS! >> Jimmy: THE ABUELAS IN THE WORLD, WITHOUT YOU, WHAT WOULD 135 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,751 WE BE? WE LOVE YOU. AND TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH WE 136 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:15,889 LOVE YOU, EACH NIGHT THIS WEEK WE'RE SHINING A SPOTLIGHT ON A A TALENTED GRANDMA ON OUR SHOW 137 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,826 SO TONIGHT'S NANA IS DOROTHEA TAYLOR. SHE IS 71 YEARS OLD, AND SHE'S 138 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:23,430 FROM MYRTLE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA AND TONIGHT, SHE'S GOING TO 139 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,733 PLAY THE DRUMS FOR US. COME ON OUT HERE, DOROTHEA >> Steve: YEAH 140 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:26,766 COME ON OUT HERE, DOROTHEA >> Steve: YEAH 141 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:37,544 * >> Jimmy: DOROTHEA 142 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,280 WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE 143 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,751 I KNOW YOU HAVE THREE CHILDREN HOW MANY GRANDKIDS DO YOU HAVE >> I HAVE TWO GRANDCHILDREN. 144 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:49,789 ONE, 13, WHO'S GOING TO BE A A MUSICIAN TOO, AND AN 8-MONTH-OLD. 145 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,525 [ AUDIENCE AWS ] >> Jimmy: AW, COME ON. WELL, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THAT 146 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,361 BOOK >> BRAND NEW >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. 147 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:57,964 YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY THE DRUMS FOR US, BUT I HEARD THAT YOU HAD A SPECIAL REQUEST. 148 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:04,738 >> I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A DRUM-OFF WITH QUESTLOVE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 149 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:08,475 >> Jimmy: A DRUM-OFF WITH QUESTLOVE. NOW WE'RE TALKING! 150 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:12,078 ARE THESE DRUMS PERFECTLY FINE FOR YOU HERE >> THESE ARE PERFECTLY FINE. 151 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:16,116 I HAVE A KIT JUST LIKE THIS AT HOME THAT I GIG OUT WITH >> Jimmy: YEAH 152 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,184 PERFECT. THEN WHY DON'T YOU GET UP THERE, GET READY TO GO 153 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,286 WE'RE GONNA START THIS DRUM-OFF [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 154 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:24,324 CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU? * HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING 155 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:28,161 THE DRUMS? >> 58 YEARS. >> Jimmy: HEY! 156 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,430 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ APPLAUSE ] I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP 157 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,166 QUEST, YOU BETTER BRING -- YOU BETTER BRING YOUR A-GAME, BUDDY. 158 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,336 >> Questlove: I HOPE SO. I'VE ONLY BEEN PLAYING FOR 58 MONTHS. 159 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,872 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: UH, DOROTHEA, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, LET THE 160 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:45,979 DRUM-OFF BEGIN >> OKAY. * 161 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:59,192 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 162 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:13,173 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 163 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:23,350 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 164 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:43,236 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 165 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,872 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH YES! 166 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:55,382 YEAH YEAH JUST -- DON'T EVEN 167 00:11:55,382 --> 00:12:01,621 * YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH [ APPLAUSE ] 168 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:05,859 DOROTHEA, WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THIS LAST ONE. THAT WAS AMAZING, BY THE WAY 169 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,628 FOR THIS LAST ONE -- HOW ABOUT SOMETHING THAT QUESTLOVE HIMSELF HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE 170 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:12,866 DOING WHEN - >> Questlove: PHIL >> Jimmy: PHIL COLLINS WAS 171 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,201 ON - >> Questlove: AW, MAN, COME ON >> Jimmy: PHIL COLLINS WAS ON 172 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,771 THE SHOW, AND WE REALLY HYPED UP THAT SOLO FROM "IN THE AIR TONIGHT. 173 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:23,076 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ IMITATING DRUM SOLO AND THEN WHEN PHIL CAME ON TO 174 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:27,847 PLAY IT WITH US AND QUEST, I JUST KIND OF SNUCK AROUND AND STARED AT QUEST. 175 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:31,351 FOR LIKE - >> Questlove: HE STARTED ME RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT 176 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,420 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: UH, CAN YOU -- WHAT DO YOU THINK 177 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,954 CAN YOU DO THE CLASSIC DRUM SOLO FROM "IN THE AIR TONIGHT," PHIL COLLINS 178 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:43,096 >> I'LL TRY IT >> Jimmy: OKAY, BUDDY. * 179 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,765 * >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 180 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,301 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT GIVE IT UP FOR DOROTHEA TAYLOR, 181 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:53,106 EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND 182 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,710 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. COME ON BACK 183 00:12:56,710 --> 00:13:15,295 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO 184 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:32,479 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * 185 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:37,450 >> Steve: AND NOW, IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR "LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK." 186 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:37,484 ONCE AGAIN FOR "LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK." 187 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:53,366 * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO 188 00:13:53,366 --> 00:14:02,876 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * 189 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:11,284 * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 190 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:18,825 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * 191 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:28,435 * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 192 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:38,278 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO 193 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:47,253 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 194 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:55,228 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 195 00:14:55,228 --> 00:15:04,204 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 196 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:11,745 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 197 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:19,719 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO 198 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:29,329 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * 199 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:38,505 * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK 200 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:48,248 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] * * LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOO 201 00:15:48,248 --> 00:16:08,134 LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 202 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:35,695 [ LAUGHTER ] * [ LAUGHTER ] 203 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:41,801 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THIS HAS BEEN, "LET US PLAY WITH YOUR LOOK." 204 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:53,947 * >> I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO WEAR A SHIRT 205 00:16:53,947 --> 00:17:01,354 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I JUST REALIZED THAT I REMEMBERED TO WEAR A SHIRT 206 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:18,605 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN OSCAR-WINNING ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MARVEL FILM 207 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:24,377 "MORBIUS" WHICH IS IN THEATERS AND IMAX THIS FRIDAY PLEASE WELCOME JARED LETO! 208 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:24,411 AND IMAX THIS FRIDAY PLEASE WELCOME JARED LETO! 209 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:45,231 * >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY MAN 210 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:49,569 JARED LETO MY FAVE! COME ON, BUD 211 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,771 THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK ON THE SHOW. >> SO HAPPY TO BE HERE 212 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,074 HEY, GUYS, HOW YOU DOING >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO 213 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:59,479 WEAR A SHIRT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I JUST REALIZED -- I 214 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:04,551 JUST REALIZED THAT I REMEMBERED TO WEAR A SHIRT. [ LAUGHTER ] 215 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:08,621 THAT'S USUALLY MY LOOK >> WE COULD TRADE OFF. >> Jimmy: HOW SAD WOULD THAT 216 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,490 BE BEFORE WE GET IN TO "MORBIUS," BY THE WAY, I'M SO PSYCHED TO 217 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:16,229 TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT IT IS NANA WEEK HERE AT THE SHOW 218 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:22,035 AND I HAVE A PHOTO HERE OF YOU BRINGING YOUR GRANDMA RUBY TO A PREMIER IN 2004. 219 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:27,374 [ AUDIENCE AWS ] >> YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 220 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,342 >> Jimmy: A LITTLE CHEEK PINCH RIGHT THERE. >> SHE GOT AHOLD AND DIDN'T LET 221 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,746 GO >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT YOU WERE TELLING ME THAT 222 00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:36,883 YOUR OSCAR-WINNING PERFORMANCE IN "DALLAS BUYERS CLUB," YOU TOOK SOME OF HER MANNERISMS. 223 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,085 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, SHE HAD A HEART OF GOLD. SHE WAS, LIKE, THE 224 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:42,455 QUINTESSENTIAL SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER. AND WHEN SHE WASN'T CHASING ME 225 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:48,261 AROUND WITH A FLY SWATTER -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SHE DID? 226 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:52,399 >> DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN SCHOOLED BY YOUR GRANDMA. [ LAUGHTER ] 227 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,768 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I LEARNED A LOT OF LESSONS. >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, THAT'S 228 00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:57,971 WHAT GRANDMA DOES. >> SHE WASN'T AFRAID TO TEACH ME 229 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,073 BUT ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY IS, SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON -- I SAW THE ORIGINAL 230 00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:05,845 "DRACULA" BECAUSE OF HER I WAS UP LATE AT NIGHT THERE WAS A GIANT COCKROACH 231 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:10,316 THAT RAN ACROSS MY NECK. THAT'S ANOTHER STORY [ LAUGHTER ] 232 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,053 I WAS SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR, WHICH YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE A KID >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. 233 00:19:13,053 --> 00:19:17,424 >> THAT'S NORMAL >> Jimmy: I DO IT AS AN ADULT. [ LAUGHTER ] 234 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:21,461 IT DEPENDS ON WHAT NIGHT IT IS >> YEAH. A COCKROACH, IT WAS A CRAZY 235 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:25,031 THING, IT WAS HYSTERICAL -- BUT ANYWAY, I WAS UP AND SHE LET ME STAY UP AND 236 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:29,769 WATCH THE ORIGINAL "DRACULA" WITH HER AND THAT'S WHEN I FELL IN LOVE 237 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:33,039 WITH VAMPIRES. TRUE STORY >> Jimmy: WOW. 238 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,108 NO WAY >> YEAH. GRANDMA RUBY 239 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,844 >> Jimmy: GRANDMA RUBY, SHOUTOUT TO HER, YEAH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 240 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,479 I WANT TO GET INTO "MORBIUS," BUT FIRST, YOUR SHOW "WE CRASHED" STARTED STREAMING 241 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:46,920 EARLIER THIS MONTH ON APPLE TV PLUS EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT 242 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,089 YOU'RE, LIKE, TRENDING EVERY OTHER DAY. >> I APPRECIATE THAT ONE BIT OF 243 00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:51,825 APPLAUSE THAT WAS VERY NICE [ LAUGHTER ] 244 00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,693 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT ONE PERSON YEAH 245 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,528 BUT IT IS. PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS. >> YEAH. 246 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:59,399 IT'S A FUN ONE >> Jimmy: IT'S A REAL STORY. YOU PLAY A REAL GUY -- 247 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,868 ADAM NEUMANN >> YEAH, ADAM NEUMANN WHO STARTED A LITTLE COMPANY CALLED 248 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:08,742 "WE WORK." AND GREW IT FROM NOTHING INTO A $47 BILLION EMPIRE 249 00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:12,345 HAD A LOT OF SUCCESS A LOT OF FAILURE AND WE EXAMINED THIS CRAZY 250 00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:17,150 STORY. REALLY COLORFUL CHARACTER. BUT IT WAS A BLAST 251 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,886 I DO IT WITH ANNIE HATHAWAY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, BOTH OF YOU GUYS ARE FANTASTIC 252 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,755 >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: GETTING GREAT REVIEWS. 253 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:26,326 YOU GET THE ACCENTS DOWN YOU KNOW -- IT'S -- IS IT AN ISRAELI ACCENT 254 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,461 >> IT'S AN ISRAELI ACCENT, YEAH I HAD A GREAT TEAM OF ISRAELIS 255 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:34,534 HELPING ME OUT AND GUIDING ME, BEATING ME UP. COACHING ME. 256 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,936 >> Jimmy: TELLING YOU THAT'S WRONG. >> MAKING SURE I NEVER -- I 257 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,106 DIDN'T STRAY FROM THE BATH >> Jimmy: YES. >> YOU KNOW, BUT THEY WERE 258 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,975 VERY -- THEY WEREN'T DELICATE BUT THEY WERE VERY -- THEY WERE AMAZING. 259 00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:47,213 >> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER GET TO MEET THE GUY YOU WERE PLAYING? >> YOU KNOW, I DID ACTUALLY. 260 00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:51,584 I HAD A TOP SECRET MEETING WITH HIM. AND TOP SECRET BECAUSE IT WAS 261 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,521 TOP SECRET >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. [ LAUGHTER ] 262 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,157 SAY NO MORE. >> HE SPILLED THE BEANS RECENTLY, SO NOW I CAN TALK 263 00:20:57,157 --> 00:21:00,960 ABOUT IT BUT I MET HIM. I THOUGHT HE WAS A LOVELY GUY. 264 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:05,065 >> Jimmy: AND, WELL, I CAN TELL YOU, I WATCHED "MORBIUS. IT IS A GIANT MARVEL MOVIE, AND 265 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:09,936 YOU'RE THE FIRST TO ACTUALLY TAKE HIM FROM COMIC BOOK TO THE SCREEN 266 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:15,375 HERE IS "MORBIUS" RIGHT HERE CHARMING LOOKING GUY [ LAUGHTER ] 267 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:18,945 HE IS NEITHER GOOD NOR EVIL, I WOULD SAY. >> NO, HE'S SOMETHING IN 268 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:23,683 BETWEEN. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THAT DELICATE DANCE BETWEEN 269 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:27,087 GOOD AND EVIL. BUT I LIKE THE COMPLEXITY. I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE THAT 270 00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:31,091 NINE PACK RIGHT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THEY DID THROW AN 271 00:21:31,091 --> 00:21:34,928 EXTRA TWO OR THREE ABS IN THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] 272 00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:36,629 BUT YOU DO HAVE -- YOUR BODY GOES FROM FRAIL INTO -- BASICALLY, YOU FEEL BAD FOR YOU 273 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:45,638 FROM THE FIRST SCENE I'M LIKE ROOTING FOR YOU SINCE DAY ONE. 274 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,242 >> YEAH. I START OFF PLAYING DR. MICHAEL MORBIUS, WHO'S THIS 275 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:53,513 BRILLIANT SCIENTIST AND DOCTOR WHO'S SEARCHING FOR A VERY -- A CURE TO A REALLY RARE 276 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:57,350 DISEASE. HE'S SICK, AND HE'S FRAIL, AND HE'S REALLY DYING BEFORE OUR 277 00:21:57,350 --> 00:22:03,223 EYES SO, THAT WAS INCREDIBLY CHALLENGING. 278 00:22:03,223 --> 00:22:07,293 AND THEN HE BECOMES STRONG AND POWERFUL AND THEN ULTIMATELY, 279 00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:10,330 MONSTEROUS >> Jimmy: WELL, YOUR CHARACTER INVENTS AN ARTIFICIAL BLOOD 280 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:15,135 WHICH SAVES SO MANY DISEASES, AND ACTUALLY GETS AWARD WINNING. 281 00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:18,438 AND YOU'RE A GREAT GUY, AND THAT'S AWESOME THAT YOU DID THAT, BUT THEN YOU ALSO HAVE 282 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:21,074 YOUR OWN THING THAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH AND YOU GO, "YOU KNOW, I WANT 283 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:27,180 TO RESEARCH THESE VAMPIRE BATS IN COSTA RICA. AND LET'S SEE WHAT THEY'RE ALL 284 00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:29,683 ABOUT, 'CAUSE THEY SUCK THE BLOOD, BUT MAYBE THERE'S A WAY THEY CAN TAKE OUT THE BLOOD. 285 00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:33,620 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU MIX IT WITH YOURS. 286 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:36,456 AND THERE'S A LOT OF CENTRIFUGE IN THE MOVIE -- ANY FANS OF CENTRIFUGE 287 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,324 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU GET TO SEE THAT IN THE FILM 288 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:41,428 >> AS SOON AS THOSE VIALS START SPINNING -- I'M IN >> Jimmy: YES, THAT'S WHEN THE 289 00:22:41,428 --> 00:22:47,834 MOVIE STARTS GOING AND SO, YOU'RE LIKE, "MAYBE I CAN PUT --" 'CAUSE NOW YOU'RE 290 00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:51,204 THIS FAMOUS DOCTOR "I COULD PUT A LITTLE VAMPIRE BAT BLOOD IN ME. 291 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:55,108 AND MAYBE SAVE ME, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. YOU TEST IT. 292 00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:59,312 >> IT'S NOT THE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD >> Jimmy: NO, AND YOU'VE TRIED 293 00:22:59,312 --> 00:23:01,047 DIFFERENT THINGS AND YOU DO IT, AND ALL THE SUDDEN YOU'RE ALL POWERFUL 294 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,450 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU CAN WALK AGAIN. 295 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:05,418 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU DON'T NEED CRUTCHES 296 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,287 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON? 297 00:23:07,287 --> 00:23:09,689 THEN YOU JUST START TURNING INTO A VAMPIRE, A BAT. >> YES 298 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,859 >> Jimmy: FRIGHTENING. >> YES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 299 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:14,394 [ HISSING YES. >> Jimmy: YES. 300 00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,062 FRIGHTENING. >> BY THE WAY, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD 301 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:19,532 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, I AUDITIONED FOR IT. YEAH 302 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:22,068 I DIDN'T GET IT. I AUDITIONED TO PLAY YOUR LITTLE BROTHER 303 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,437 I WAS LIKE, YEAH IF THERE IS A SEQUEL, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GIVE ME A CALL 304 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:27,707 >> I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HIM IN A SEQUEL, WOULD YOU NOT? >> Jimmy: YEAH 305 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:33,513 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, DR. MORBIUS. 306 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:36,249 >> YOU SHOULD PUT A SCENE IN THERE. >> Jimmy: "HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, 307 00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:39,419 DR. MORBIUS. >> "OH, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] 308 00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:43,923 >> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE TO BE - BUT THEN YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE, AND YOU START 309 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:49,696 ROOTING FOR YOU. AND YOU GO, "WE NEED MORBIUS." >> YEAH, WE DO 310 00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:52,098 >> Jimmy: TO STOP THE EVIL >> WE NEED MORBIUS TO STOP THE EVIL, THAT'S FOR SURE. 311 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:53,833 YOU KNOW WHAT, I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I'VE EVER STARRED IN A VERY -- 312 00:23:53,833 --> 00:24:00,240 A HUGE FILM LIKE THIS. I'VE NEVER -- MY WHOLE CAREER, I'VE MADE MOSTLY INDEPENDENT 313 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:10,350 FILMS AND MADE A CAREER OUT OF PLAYING SMALLER PARTS. BUT THIS IS, LIKE, THE FIRST 314 00:24:10,350 --> 00:24:17,457 TIME I'VE EVER STARRED IN A BIG MARVEL MOVIE LIKE THIS AND I'M INCREDIBLY EXCITED 315 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:27,500 AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT MORBIUS HAS EVER BEEN ON THE SCREEN 316 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,903 SO THAT WAS A BIG HONOR TO GET ASKED TO BRING THIS CHARACTER TO LIFE. 317 00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:33,506 >> Jimmy: IT'S GIANT GO SEE IT IN THE THEATERS. GO SEE IT IN IMAX. 318 00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:36,142 GET POPCORN. IT'S LOUD, IT'S FUN, IT'S EXCITING 319 00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:38,645 AND HE'S - >> DRINK A LITTLE BLOOD IF YOU WANT 320 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,714 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, YEAH, THE RIGHT TYPE, OF COURSE. I HAVE TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS 321 00:24:40,714 --> 00:24:42,415 YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER OR ANYTHING BUT YOU WERE CAUSING A LITTLE 322 00:24:42,415 --> 00:24:44,217 BIT OF STIR, WHICH YOU TEND TO DO --BUT YOU WERE AT THE "SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME" 323 00:24:44,217 --> 00:24:45,752 PREMIERE >> YES >> Jimmy: AND YOU GO THERE, AND 324 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:48,154 EVERYONE IS LIKE, "AW, COOL, JARED LETO IS AWESOME. HE'S A STUD. 325 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:50,557 WE LOVE THIS GUY." AND THEN SOMEONE ZOOMED IN, AND YOU WERE WEARING THIS NECKLACE 326 00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:53,626 IT SAYS, JUST THE NUMBER SIX NOW. THERE IS A WAY -- THERE'S 327 00:24:53,626 --> 00:24:55,895 A THING CALLED THE SINISTER SIX -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD? 328 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:59,099 MORBIUS, SPIDERMAN, SAYING THINGS HAPPEN. THIS IS HERE 329 00:24:59,099 --> 00:25:03,136 YOU'RE HERE. WHAT JUST WENT DOWN RIGHT NOW? I SHOWED THAT PHOTO. 330 00:25:03,136 --> 00:25:06,406 YOUR REACTION IS VERY POKER FACE YOU KNOW 331 00:25:06,406 --> 00:25:08,808 >> IT WAS ACTUALLY MEANT TO BE A NINE IT JUST GOT FLIPPED. 332 00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:11,311 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD THAT'S WHAT IT IS. 333 00:25:11,311 --> 00:25:14,814 SORRY ABOUT THAT OH, NOW I GET IT THERE YOU GO 334 00:25:14,814 --> 00:25:16,583 IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE YOU GO I TAKE IT BACK 335 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:19,085 SORRY. I APOLOGIZE. [ LAUGHTER ] 336 00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:21,154 THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THAT I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP, HERE IS JARED LETO IS 337 00:25:21,154 --> 00:25:23,957 "MORBIUS." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 338 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:40,273 * [ WIND HOWLING ] * 339 00:25:40,273 --> 00:25:57,290 * * 340 00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:07,067 >> Jimmy: OH, IT'S FUN 341 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:09,035 JARED LETO, EVERYBODY! "MORBIUS" HITS THEATERS THIS WEEKEND. 342 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:13,506 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STEPHEN MERCHANT STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. 343 00:26:13,506 --> 00:26:38,531 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 344 00:26:38,531 --> 00:26:40,200 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST DIRECTS, WRITES, AND STARS IN THE NEW SERIES "THE OUTLAWS" 345 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:44,871 WHICH IS AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY ON PRIME VIDEO EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME 346 00:26:44,871 --> 00:26:48,308 EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME STEPHEN MERCHANT 347 00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:50,977 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 348 00:26:50,977 --> 00:27:06,926 * >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. 349 00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:10,430 STEPHEN MERCHANT ONE OF MY FAVS THANKS FOR COMING BACK TO THE 350 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:13,833 SHOW >> I LOVE YOU, BROTHER I LOVE BEING ON THE SHOW 351 00:27:13,833 --> 00:27:15,802 IT IS NANA WEEK HERE AT THE SHOW AND I WAS TALKING TO YOU BACKSTAGE. 352 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:19,172 AND I WAS SAYING DO YOU HAVE ANY FOND MEMORY OF YOUR GRANDMA? 353 00:27:19,172 --> 00:27:23,109 >> MY GRANDMOTHER -- A LOVELY WOMAN A DEAR SWEET WOMAN, IRENE. 354 00:27:23,109 --> 00:27:27,047 BUT NOT AN OPTIMISTIC LADY [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW HOW THERE'S LIKE -- 355 00:27:27,047 --> 00:27:29,349 THERE'S PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND OF GLASS HALF FULL? >> Jimmy: YES. 356 00:27:29,349 --> 00:27:31,584 >> AND THERE ARE SOME WHO ARE GLASS HALF EMPTY IRENE -- THERE IS NOTHING IN 357 00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:35,789 THE GLASS. [ LAUGHTER ] THE GLASS HAS BEEN KNOCKED OFF 358 00:27:35,789 --> 00:27:39,392 THE TABLE, SMASHED AND THROWN IN THE TRASH >> Jimmy: OH, INTERESTING. 359 00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:41,695 >> AND LIKE, JUST SO - LIKE, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LIKE 13. 360 00:27:41,695 --> 00:27:44,197 I SAID -- SHE SAID TO ME, "WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS WHAT GIFT WOULD YOU LIKE?" 361 00:27:44,197 --> 00:27:47,067 I SAID, "I WOULD LOVE AN OVERCOAT, LIKE GRANDAD." MY GRANDAD HAD THIS LOVELY 362 00:27:47,067 --> 00:27:52,072 OVERCOAT WITH THIS BIG, KIND OF -- SORT OF SHEEPSKIN COLLAR I WAS LIKE, "COULD I GET ONE 363 00:27:52,072 --> 00:27:54,808 LIKE THAT? AND SHE SAID, "WELL, YOU CAN HAVE HIS." 364 00:27:54,808 --> 00:27:57,210 AND I SAID, "WELL, DOESN'T GRANDAD NEED IT? AND SHE SAID, "HE'LL PROBABLY 365 00:27:57,210 --> 00:28:04,551 BE DEAD SOON." [ LAUGHTER ] HONESTLY, SHE SAID, "YOU KNOW, 366 00:28:04,551 --> 00:28:10,023 HIS HEART'S NOT WHAT IT WAS. HE LIVED FOR 20 YEARS AFTER THAT 367 00:28:10,023 --> 00:28:14,260 I WAS FREEZING [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO 368 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:16,129 BE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE >> IT'S SO LOVELY TO BE BACK IN FRONT OF REAL PEOPLE 369 00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:19,065 >> Jimmy: IT IS PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 370 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:21,501 >> IT'S GREAT TO BE -- IT'S GREAT TO BE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE 371 00:28:21,501 --> 00:28:24,204 IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK IN THE AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW, GOING TO SHOWS AGAIN. 372 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:26,740 GOING TO THEATER SHOWS >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE A BIG MUSIC FAN. 373 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:30,110 >> LOVE GOING TO LIVE MUSIC. THE LAST TIME I WENT TO A CONCERT WAS BEFORE COVID WAS 374 00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:33,079 THE BOSS -- WAS BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. I SAW HIM ON BROADWAY. 375 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:35,949 I SAW HIM IN L.A TWO SHOWS IN L.A >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A BIG 376 00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:38,418 SPRINGSTEEN FAN? >> LOVE THE BOSS ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE MAN 377 00:28:38,418 --> 00:28:42,689 I WENT -- THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I WENT TO SEE BRUCE AT THE FORUM IN L.A 378 00:28:42,689 --> 00:28:46,526 AND I -- I VERY NEARLY BROKE HIS NECK [ LAUGHTER ] 379 00:28:46,526 --> 00:28:49,362 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, EXPLAIN THIS TO ME NOW >> YEAH, YEAH. 380 00:28:49,362 --> 00:28:51,664 SO I LOVE THE BOSS AND I WENT DOWN THERE AND WENT TO THE SHOW ONE. 381 00:28:51,664 --> 00:28:53,633 AND DURING THE SHOW, DURING "HUNGRY HEART," HE FALLS OUT INTO THE CROWD 382 00:28:53,633 --> 00:28:57,070 AND THE CROWD KIND OF CARRY HIM ON THEIR HANDS >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH 383 00:28:57,070 --> 00:28:59,406 CROWD SURF >> FROM THE STAGE -- CROWD SURFING, RIGHT 384 00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:01,608 AND SO I'M LOVING -- I'M WATCHING THIS. I WAS VIDEOING IT. 385 00:29:01,608 --> 00:29:04,210 I DID THE HOLDING. I JUST LOVED IT. >> Jimmy: HE'S A GOD 386 00:29:04,210 --> 00:29:06,746 >> AND I THOUGHT, "I'M GOING TO GO BACK NIGHT TWO. 'CAUSE I WANT A PIECE OF THAT 387 00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:08,481 ACTION." I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT GETS TO TOUCH THE 388 00:29:08,481 --> 00:29:11,551 GREAT MAN, RIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO I GO BACK. 389 00:29:11,551 --> 00:29:14,721 I GET A SECOND TICKET. I KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING TO BE. YOU KNOW, AT WHAT TIME 390 00:29:14,721 --> 00:29:18,224 I KNOW WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO I'M THINKING, "I'M GOING TO TOUCH THIS 70-YEAR-OLD MAN!" 391 00:29:18,224 --> 00:29:21,027 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE A STALKER IN A RETIREMENT VILLAGE 392 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:24,330 LIKE, I'M REALLY - I'M JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO COME OUT, RIGHT? 393 00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:28,168 SO HE -- I GET INTO POSITION AND I'M WAITING FOR HIM. AND HE COMES OUT AND HE FALLS 394 00:29:28,168 --> 00:29:30,570 INTO THE CROWD * EVERYBODY HAS A HUNGRY HEART * 395 00:29:30,570 --> 00:29:33,440 AND HE'S COMING TOWARDS ME I'M BRACING MYSELF FOR HIM AND THE BOSS -- AND I BRACE 396 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:40,847 MYSELF AND I RECEIVE THE BOSS BUT I FORGET THAT I'M 6'7. 397 00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:45,218 SO HE STARTS GOING UPWARDS AND I'M HOLDING HIM. AND THE PERSON BEHIND ME IS 398 00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:48,922 LIKE REGULAR HEIGHT. AND THEY CAN'T REACH HIM >> Jimmy: NO 399 00:29:48,922 --> 00:29:51,825 [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND SO NOW I'M LIKE - THERE'S A MOMENT IN TIME WHERE 400 00:29:51,825 --> 00:29:57,063 I'M TAKING THE FULL WEIGHT OF BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. I'M HOLDING THE BOSS 401 00:29:57,063 --> 00:29:59,566 AND YOU KNOW WHAT, LIKE, HE'S A SMALL MAN. BUT HE'S A LOT HEAVIER THAN 402 00:29:59,566 --> 00:30:01,935 YOU'D THINK. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> LIKE, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO 403 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:05,672 MOVE A SOFA BED? YOU KNOW, LIKE, THEY'RE HEAVIER THAN THEY LOOK 404 00:30:05,672 --> 00:30:08,575 >> Jimmy: YES, HE'S A STURDY, STURDY MAN >> WELL, HE'S DENSE WITH 405 00:30:08,575 --> 00:30:10,043 TALENT >> Jimmy: HE'S DENSE WITH TALENT 406 00:30:10,043 --> 00:30:11,644 >> AND I'M HOLDING HIM LIKE THIS AND I HAVE A VISION OF MY 407 00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:16,816 GRANDMOTHER SAYING, "YOU SHOULD NEVER HOLD ROCK STARS. [ LAUGHTER ] 408 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:23,023 >> Jimmy: YOU ALMOST KILLED BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, YEAH! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 409 00:30:23,023 --> 00:30:24,891 >> YEAH, SO I JUST -- I HAD TO, LIKE, BEND AT THE KNEES AND, LIKE, FINALLY HAND HIM OFF TO 410 00:30:24,891 --> 00:30:27,627 THE OTHER PERSON AND HE WAS SINGING THE WHOLE TIME 411 00:30:27,627 --> 00:30:29,829 HE DIDN'T NOTICE >> Jimmy: YOU SAVED HIS LIFE >> SAVED HIS LIFE. 412 00:30:29,829 --> 00:30:31,798 >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, BRUCE, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, THAT WAS STEPHEN WHO 413 00:30:31,798 --> 00:30:36,036 SAVED YOUR LIFE AT THE FORUM SECOND NIGHT, NUMBER TWO AT THE FORUM. 414 00:30:36,036 --> 00:30:38,338 >> NIGHT NUMBER TWO. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "THE OUTLAWS." 415 00:30:38,338 --> 00:30:42,042 CONGRATULATIONS ON THIS. YOU WRITE -- YOU WRITE THIS. IT'S A COMEDY DRAMA SERIES 416 00:30:42,042 --> 00:30:44,344 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHICH I THINK YOU'RE GREAT AT, TOO. 417 00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:47,313 'CAUSE I THINK YOU'RE ALSO A A VERY GOOD DRAMATIC ACTOR BUT THIS, HOW DID YOU COME UP 418 00:30:47,313 --> 00:30:50,684 WITH THIS IDEA >> MY PARENTS USED TO WORK WHEN I WAS GROWING UP FOR COMMUNITY 419 00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:53,086 SERVICE. YOU KNOW, IF YOU GET, LIKE, A DUI OR SOME OTHER CRIME, THEY 420 00:30:53,086 --> 00:30:55,789 DON'T SEND YOU TO PRISON NECESSARILY. THEY MAKE YOU PICK UP GARBAGE 421 00:30:55,789 --> 00:31:01,194 OR, YOU KNOW, RENOVATE A A BUILDING AS A PUNISHMENT AND MY PARENTS WERE INVOLVED 422 00:31:01,194 --> 00:31:03,496 WITH THAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS 423 00:31:03,496 --> 00:31:06,499 AN INTERESTING AREA FOR A COMEDY OR A DRAMA. BECAUSE YOU'D HAVE VERY 424 00:31:06,499 --> 00:31:10,170 UNLIKELY PEOPLE SORT OF COMING THROUGH. LIKE, MY MOTHER, THERE WAS A 425 00:31:10,170 --> 00:31:14,741 A KID WHO I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH, DAVE, WHO -- HE WAS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH. 426 00:31:14,741 --> 00:31:19,446 AND HE WAS THE WORLD'S LAZIEST THIEF. AND ONE TIME, DAVE GOT CAUGHT 427 00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:22,182 IN A HOUSE STEALING THE TV AND THE HOMEOWNERS CAME IN THEY'RE LIKE, "DAVE, WHAT YOU 428 00:31:22,182 --> 00:31:25,251 ARE DOING? AND HE'S LIKE "I'M NOT DAVE. AND THEY'RE LIKE "YEAH, YOU 429 00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:28,088 ARE. YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR." [ LAUGHTER ] 430 00:31:28,088 --> 00:31:31,091 HE DIDN'T EVEN GO A BLOCK OVER HE WAS STEALING FROM HIS OWN NEIGHBORS. 431 00:31:31,091 --> 00:31:33,760 SO, THERE WAS PEOPLE LIKE THAT COME THROUGH AND I JUST THOUGHT WHAT AN 432 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,628 INTERESTING IDEA LIKE, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHY ARE THEY DOING COMMUNITY 433 00:31:35,628 --> 00:31:37,797 SERVICE? AND LET'S MAKE THAT INTO A A SHOW 434 00:31:37,797 --> 00:31:40,800 >> Jimmy: AND THEY HAVE TO COME TOGETHER YOU HAVE A GREAT CAST AND ONE 435 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:41,901 OF MY FAVORITES, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IN THIS SHOW 436 00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:47,540 AND GOSH, HE IS A TREASURE, MAN. >> HE'S AMAZING. 437 00:31:47,540 --> 00:31:49,709 HE'S A BRILLIANT GUY AMAZING IN THE SHOW. FANTASTIC. 438 00:31:49,709 --> 00:31:52,012 AN HONOR TO HAVE HIM >> Jimmy: HE'S ONE OF THE GREATEST 439 00:31:52,012 --> 00:31:54,848 AND YOU GOT TO FILM IN YOUR HOMETOWN >> I FILMED IN MY HOMETOWN IN 440 00:31:54,848 --> 00:31:57,117 THE U.K. AND, WE SAID TO HIM, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO IN 441 00:31:57,117 --> 00:32:01,755 ENGLAND, HE SAID I'D LOVE TO GO TO STONEHENGE. >> Jimmy: YEAH 442 00:32:01,755 --> 00:32:03,723 >> SO WE WENT -- I TOOK CHRISTOPHER WALKEN TO STONEHENGE 443 00:32:03,723 --> 00:32:06,326 >> Jimmy: THIS IS REAL LIKE, THIS IS HONESTLY -- TALK ABOUT GOALS. 444 00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:09,062 >> RIGHT >> Jimmy: HERE IS YOU AND CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AT 445 00:32:09,062 --> 00:32:13,066 STONEHENGE [ AUDIENCE OHS ] THAT'S AMAZING 446 00:32:13,066 --> 00:32:17,370 >> ISN'T THAT LOVELY >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LOVE THAT. [ APPLAUSE ] 447 00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:20,340 DID HE - DID HE ENJOY IT? DID HE - 448 00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:22,409 >> AGAIN, HE DIDN'T SAY MUCH AND THEN AT ONE POINT, LIKE, WE'D BEEN THERE FOR AN HOUR AND 449 00:32:22,409 --> 00:32:26,980 HE JUST SAID "APPARENTLY THE BLUE STONES HAVE HEALING PROPERTIES." 450 00:32:26,980 --> 00:32:28,748 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY >> Jimmy: WOW. 451 00:32:28,748 --> 00:32:33,553 >> IS THAT HOW WE WOULD -- HOW WOULD HE SAY THAT? >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH 452 00:32:33,553 --> 00:32:38,692 "APPARENTLY, THE BLUE STONES HAVE HEALING PROPERTIES. >> EXACTLY 453 00:32:38,692 --> 00:32:43,096 EXACTLY. * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 454 00:32:43,096 --> 00:32:47,000 SO, HE SAID -- HE SAID, "MAY I TOUCH THE STONE?" TO THE GUIDE AND IT'S SUCH A BRITISH THING. 455 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,603 SHE SAID, "NO. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M LIKE "REALLY 456 00:32:50,603 --> 00:32:52,105 YOU CAN'T LET CHRISTOPHER WALKEN TOUCH ONE OF THE STONES 457 00:32:52,105 --> 00:32:54,874 THEY'VE BEEN HERE 5,000 YEARS. >> Jimmy: HE'S A LEGEND, YEAH. >> COME ON 458 00:32:54,874 --> 00:32:56,843 WHAT DO YOU DO TAKE THEM IN AT NIGHT? OF COURSE PEOPLE TOUCH THE 459 00:32:56,843 --> 00:32:58,445 STONES >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> THEY'RE NOT LIKE LAWN 460 00:32:58,445 --> 00:33:00,246 FURNITURE. YOU DON'T COVER THEM UP. BUT SHE WOULDN'T -- SHE 461 00:33:00,246 --> 00:33:02,749 WOULDN'T LET HIM DO IT >> Jimmy: YEAH I THINK IT'S A BUCKET LIST 462 00:33:02,749 --> 00:33:05,919 THING THAT YOU PROBABLY NEVER THOUGHT WOULD BE IN YOUR BUCKET 463 00:33:05,919 --> 00:33:08,321 YEAH IT'S LIKE, "WOW, I'M AT STONEHENGE WITH 464 00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:10,857 CHRISTOPHER WALKEN LIFE IS GOOD." >> IT'S REALLY - 465 00:33:10,857 --> 00:33:13,460 THAT WAS A SURREAL MOMENT. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. 466 00:33:13,460 --> 00:33:14,894 HERE'S STEPHEN MERCHANT IN "THE OUTLAWS. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 467 00:33:14,894 --> 00:33:14,928 OUTLAWS. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 468 00:33:15,795 --> 00:33:19,799 >> GREG, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? >> I'M A LAWYER. 469 00:33:19,799 --> 00:33:22,068 >> KEEP THAT QUIET SHAMEFUL >> A LAWYER WHO'S BADLY 470 00:33:22,068 --> 00:33:26,773 ORGANIZED, CAN'T REMEMBER CASE PRECIDENTS I USE WIKIPEDIA TO CONDUCT MOST 471 00:33:26,773 --> 00:33:31,277 OF MY LEGAL RESEARCH I'VE MISSED COURT DEADLINES. I'VE FORGED SIGNATURES 472 00:33:31,277 --> 00:33:33,246 >> WE'VE ALL DONE THAT >> IN MY OFFICE, I HAVE THIS COVER. 473 00:33:33,246 --> 00:33:35,081 LIKE ONE OF THE CUPBOARD OF CHAOS. I'VE STUFFED EVERY LETTER, 474 00:33:35,081 --> 00:33:39,586 WITNESS STATEMENT, AFFIDAVIT THAT'S PROOF OF MY INCOMPETENCE IN THERE 475 00:33:39,586 --> 00:33:42,756 AND I CAN'T DESTROY THEM I CAN'T FILE THEM, SO I LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR THAT SOMEONE WILL 476 00:33:42,756 --> 00:33:44,457 OPEN THE CUPBOARD AND I'LL NEVER WORK IN LAW AGAIN. EVEN THOUGH I'M PROBABLY GOING 477 00:33:44,457 --> 00:33:50,296 TO GET FIRED ANYWAY UNLESS I BRING IN SOME NEW CLIENTS. ACTUALLY, DOES ANYONE NEED A 478 00:33:50,296 --> 00:33:54,467 A LAWYER I'VE GOT SOME BUSINESS CARDS HERE 479 00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:56,970 >> OH, YEAH. YEAH THANK YOU. 480 00:33:56,970 --> 00:34:04,310 >> HEY, ARE YOU ANY GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 481 00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:06,379 >> Jimmy: YEAH STEPHEN MERCHANT, EVERYBODY. SEASON ONE OF "THE OUTLAWS" IS 482 00:34:06,379 --> 00:34:08,081 AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY ON PRIME VIDEO. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 483 00:34:08,081 --> 00:34:10,650 STANDUP COMEDY FROM TAYLOR TOMLINSON COME ON BACK 484 00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:29,903 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS A 485 00:34:29,903 --> 00:34:33,306 A NEW STANDUP SPECIAL, "LOOK AT YOU" STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY 486 00:34:33,306 --> 00:34:36,309 PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY TAYLOR TOMLINSON 487 00:34:37,610 --> 00:34:52,759 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 488 00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:54,494 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH OH, MY GOD IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HERE. 489 00:34:54,494 --> 00:34:56,696 IT IS A ROUGH COUPLE OF YEARS. I GOT BANGS AT ONE POINT THINGS GOT DARK. 490 00:34:56,696 --> 00:34:59,299 I DIDN'T WANT BANGS. I JUST NEEDED PEOPLE TO CHECK ON ME, AND - 491 00:34:59,299 --> 00:35:02,902 [ LAUGHTER ] IT WORKS, BY THE WAY YOU POST A SELFIE AND BANGS, 492 00:35:02,902 --> 00:35:07,040 EVERYBODY'S LIKE, "FIRE EMOJI. YOU GO, GIRL!" THEN THEY TEXT YOU, LIKE, "YOU 493 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,677 OKAY?" [ LAUGHTER ] HERE'S WHAT I DID. 494 00:35:10,677 --> 00:35:15,382 I GOT BANGS AND THEN TWO DAYS LATER I DID MUSHROOMS FOR THE FIRST TIME 495 00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:19,052 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND AS SOON AS I DID THOSE MUSHROOMS, I WAS LIKE "I SHOULD 496 00:35:19,052 --> 00:35:26,192 HAVE DONE THESE FIRST. [ LAUGHTER ] I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN THESE 497 00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:30,797 BANG IF I FORGAVE MYSELF, HUH? BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? HAVING BANGS FEELS EXACTLY LIKE 498 00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:34,501 BEING ON MUSHROOMS THE WHOLE TIME YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FRIENDS LIKE, 499 00:35:34,501 --> 00:35:38,772 "DO I DO LOOK WEIRD? [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GUYS WOULD TELL ME IF I 500 00:35:38,772 --> 00:35:43,810 LOOKED WEIRD, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE LIKE, "DON'T TELL HER. 501 00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:45,912 SHE'LL FREAK OUT." [ LAUGHTER ] I FINALLY GOT AN 502 00:35:45,912 --> 00:35:48,081 ANTI-DEPRESSANT THAT WORKS FOR ME, WHICH IS GREAT A LOT OF MY FRIENDS SCARED ME 503 00:35:48,081 --> 00:35:50,250 BY GETTING ON THEM I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO WERE LIKE, "I TRIED TO GET ON 504 00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:53,119 ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, I DIDN'T LIKE HOW I FELT ON THEM I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE MYSELF ON 505 00:35:53,119 --> 00:35:56,156 THEM." AND NOW THAT I'M ON THEM, I'M LIKE "YEAH, ME NEITHER 506 00:35:56,156 --> 00:36:07,634 IT'S THE BEST! [ LAUGHTER ] AND I DO FEEL LIKE MYSELF. 507 00:36:07,634 --> 00:36:11,905 I JUST FEEL LIKE NOW SOMEONE'S SITTING ON ME GOING, "SSYOUR HONOR. 508 00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:15,508 STOP TALKING WE'RE TRYING TO HELP YOU YOU WILL RUIN EVERYTHING 509 00:36:15,508 --> 00:36:22,482 GO TO SLEEP. CHOOSE A DIFFERENT ADVENTURE." [ LAUGHTER ] 510 00:36:22,482 --> 00:36:24,250 I DIDN'T KNOW ANTI-DEPRESSANTS WERE AN OPTION WHEN I WAS GROWING UP 511 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,785 WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS LIKE, "DAD, I THINK I'M DEPRESSED. 512 00:36:25,785 --> 00:36:28,521 AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU JUST NEED SOME PROTEIN GET A SCOOP OF PEANUT BUTTER." 513 00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:31,691 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF CONSERVATIVE DADS OUT THERE 514 00:36:31,691 --> 00:36:33,493 JUST WHITE KNUCKLING IT THROUGH LIFE RIGHT NOW, CLINGING TO A JAR OF CHUNKY JIF LIKE IT'S 515 00:36:33,493 --> 00:36:43,069 THE ANSWER JUST A BUOY IN THE STORM LIKE, "IT'LL PASS! 516 00:36:43,069 --> 00:36:45,372 [ LAUGHTER ] THE ONLY MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE MY DAD EVER GAVE ME IS I WAS 517 00:36:45,372 --> 00:36:48,208 HAVING PANIC ATTACKS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY 518 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:49,776 WERE AND I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN I FEEL LIKE 519 00:36:49,776 --> 00:36:51,578 THIS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 520 00:36:51,578 --> 00:37:02,055 AND HE GOES, "ALL RIGHT. ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THIS, GET AS FAR 521 00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:06,126 AWAY FROM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AS POSSIBLE. [ LAUGHTER ] 522 00:37:06,126 --> 00:37:10,930 UNTIL YOU FEEL DIFFERENT." WHICH IS ADVICE YOU GIVE A A WEREWOLF 523 00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:20,306 LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 524 00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:23,476 JUST RUN INTO THE WOODS UNTIL YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER ANYMORE DON'T LET THEM SEE YOU CHANGE. 525 00:37:23,476 --> 00:37:25,412 THEY WON'T ACCEPT YOU FOR WHAT YOU TRULY ARE. I DID READ SOMETHING RECENTLY 526 00:37:25,412 --> 00:37:27,213 THAT SAID IF YOU HAD A A DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO PARENT YOURSELF AS 527 00:37:27,213 --> 00:37:37,924 AN ADULT SO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO PARENT 528 00:37:37,924 --> 00:37:39,893 MYSELF BUT, I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I GOT PREGNANT WITH ME IN HIGH SCHOOL 529 00:37:39,893 --> 00:37:44,364 AND -- [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS 530 00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:48,735 RESPONSIBILITY NOT SUPPOSED TO SHAKE ME JUST FOUND THAT OUT. 531 00:37:48,735 --> 00:37:54,207 [ LAUGHTER ] AND NOW EVERY DAY, I WAKE UP TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. 532 00:37:54,207 --> 00:37:56,242 JUST LIKE, "OKAY IF I LET YOU WATCH TIKTOK ON MY PHONE FOR 40 MINUTES, WILL YOU 533 00:37:56,242 --> 00:38:09,622 PLEASE STOP CRYING?" [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 534 00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:11,424 MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE, "ARE YOU OKAY?" I'M LIKE, "NO, I THINK I HAVE 535 00:38:11,424 --> 00:38:15,628 COLIC. I KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT." [ LAUGHTER ] 536 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:18,164 A LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE SETTLING DOWN. SOME ARE JUST SETTLING, END OF 537 00:38:18,164 --> 00:38:21,534 SENTENCE [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GUYS HAVE THOSE COUPLES IN 538 00:38:21,534 --> 00:38:24,270 YOUR LIVES YEAH YEAH, WHERE ONE PERSON IN THE 539 00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:27,207 COUPLE IS WAY HOTTER AND COOLER THAN THE OTHER PERSON IN THE COUPLE 540 00:38:27,207 --> 00:38:33,780 I LIKE TO CALL THOSE COUPLES CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISINS. [ LAUGHTER ] 541 00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:38,051 BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, SURE, YOU CAN PUT THOSE TWO TOGETHER IF YOU WANT. 542 00:38:38,051 --> 00:38:41,121 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM, YOU'RE LIKE, "CHOCOLATE, WHAT 543 00:38:41,121 --> 00:38:45,492 ARE YOU DOING? LIKE, YOU COULD'VE BEEN WITH ANYBODY. 544 00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:47,127 YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WITH CARMEL YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WITH 545 00:38:47,127 --> 00:38:48,962 MARSHMALLOW. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WITH PEANUT BUTTER, WHO I HEARD CURES 546 00:38:48,962 --> 00:39:00,006 DEPRESSION [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND YOU WANT TO BE WITH 547 00:39:00,006 --> 00:39:02,409 A RAISIN FOREVER LIKE, NO OFFENSE, RAISIN YOU'RE GREAT 548 00:39:02,409 --> 00:39:05,478 WE LOVE YOU. NATURE'S CANDY THAT'S YOU 549 00:39:05,478 --> 00:39:08,882 BUT YOU BELONG WITH, LIKE, OATMEAL. LIKE, LET'S BE HONEST. 550 00:39:08,882 --> 00:39:10,884 [ LAUGHTER ] AREN'T YOU SCARED EVERY DAY THAT SOMEONE'S GOING TO COME 551 00:39:10,884 --> 00:39:16,423 ALONG AND SUCK CHOCOLATE RIGHT OFF YOU? I LOVE DOING THAT JOKE 552 00:39:16,423 --> 00:39:18,925 BECAUSE YOU FEEL COUPLES IN THE AUDIENCE GETTING NERVOUS LIKE, "AM I CHOCOLATE OR 553 00:39:18,925 --> 00:39:24,764 RAISIN?" [ LAUGHTER ] "WE'RE BOTH CHOCOLATE, RIGHT, 554 00:39:24,764 --> 00:39:27,567 BABE WE'RE CHOCOLATE COVERED CHOCOLATE? 555 00:39:27,567 --> 00:39:30,136 WE'RE LIKE THE LITTLE LINDOR GUYS IN THE FOIL, YOU KNOW I'M THE CREAMY PART AND YOU'RE 556 00:39:30,136 --> 00:39:34,674 THE SHELL BECAUSE YOU'RE SO STRONG AND IF YOU LEAVE ME, I'LL BE A MESS." 557 00:39:34,674 --> 00:39:37,510 THANK YOU SO MUCH "TONIGHT SHOW." I APPRECIATE IT. 558 00:39:37,510 --> 00:39:43,950 [ CHEERS AND AAPPLAUSE ] * >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH! 559 00:39:43,950 --> 00:39:46,820 TAYLOR TOMLINSON THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE. 560 00:39:46,820 --> 00:39:49,322 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "LOOK AT YOU" IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX 561 00:39:49,322 --> 00:40:09,442 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 562 00:40:09,442 --> 00:40:13,813 >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO JARED LETO, STEPHEN MERCHANT, TAYLOR TOMLINSON ONCE AGAIN! 563 00:40:13,813 --> 00:40:20,053 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 564 00:40:20,053 --> 00:40:23,656 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 565 00:40:23,656 --> 00:40:25,725 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE