1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,945 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:19,586 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,522 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - HASAN MINHAJ 4 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:26,259 ROMAN REIGNS MUSICAL GUEST MIMI WEBB, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:33,533 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: ONE SIX TWO SIX! >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:39,572 >> Questlove: ONE SIX TWO SIX! >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:51,951 * * 8 00:00:51,951 --> 00:01:03,096 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, COME ON NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,599 THAT'S FANTASTIC THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY THANK YOU. 10 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:09,636 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. THIS IS IT 11 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,605 YOU'RE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU MADE IT. 12 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:16,543 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL GUYS, TODAY 13 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:21,348 PRESIDENT BIDEN UNVEILED A NEW WEBSITE CALLED COVID.GOV WHERE PEOPLE CAN GO FOR MASKS, TEST 14 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:26,386 KITS, VACCINES, AND TREATMENT INFORMATION. THE COVID SITE'S GOT EVERYTHING 15 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:29,422 YOU NEED -- TESTS, MASKS, AND A LIST OF EXCUSES TO GET OUT OF YOUR FRIEND'S DESTINATION 16 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:33,093 WEDDING. [ LAUGHTER ] "I KNOW RESTRICTIONS ARE 17 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,429 LIFTED, BUT, UH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 18 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:40,266 IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW COVID SITE, HERE IT IS YEAH 19 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,869 AND JUST TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE TRUSTWORTHY FOR YOUR CRAZY UNCLE, THERE'S A BETA VERSION 20 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:47,240 THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS * AND I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN * 21 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,876 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AH, I TRUST THAT ONE * 22 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:54,681 THAT'S -- THAT'S A WEBSITE I CAN TRUST. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 23 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:57,650 THAT'S RIGHT, BIDEN ANNOUNCED THE NEW COVID WEBSITE, AND THEN HE SAT DOWN TO GET HIS SECOND 24 00:01:57,650 --> 00:02:01,121 BOOSTER SHOT >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: RIGHT AFTER BIDEN'S 25 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,190 DOCTOR SAID HE NEEDED A BOOST, HIS POLL NUMBERS WERE LIKE, "TELL ME ABOUT IT. 26 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:08,361 [ LAUGHTER ] BIDEN SAID THE SHOT FELT WONDERFUL. 27 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:12,732 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BASED ON THE CURRENT NEWS, THERE'S A CHANCE GETTING STUCK 28 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:16,069 WITH A NEEDLE REALLY WAS THE BEST PART OF HIS DAY [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,304 IT ACTUALLY GOT A LITTLE AWKWARD. AFTER HE ROLLED UP HIS SLEEVE, 30 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,907 BIDEN SAID, "LOOKS LIKE INFLATION ALSO HIT THESE PYTHONS. 31 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:28,348 [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, I READ THAT OVER IN RUSSIA, PUTIN'S SENIOR ADVISORS 32 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:32,385 HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM FALSE INFORMATION ABOUT THE WAR BECAUSE THEY'RE, QUOTE, "TOO 33 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:37,090 AFRAID TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH." >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: YOU'D THINK HIS 34 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,324 ADVISORS WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE TELLING HIM THE TRUTH. 35 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:41,461 I MEAN, THEY'VE ALWAYS SEEMED SO CLOSE LOOK AT THIS 36 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:46,933 [ LAUGHTER ] SAME TABLE AND IT'S GETTING CRAZY 37 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:50,103 TODAY PUTIN LEFT THE MEETING LIKE, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. 38 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,106 I CAN'T BELIEVE I -- [ LAUGHTER ] "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. 39 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:58,645 THIRD YEAR IN A ROW. [ LAUGHTER ] HERE'S A WILD STORY. 40 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,480 REPUBLICAN LAWMAKERS ARE FURIOUS AT FELLOW REPUBLICAN MADISON CAWTHORN, AFTER HE WENT 41 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,182 ON A PODCAST AND SAID THAT HIS COLLEAGUES IN WASHINGTON LIKE TO HAVE DRUG-FUELED SEX 42 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:12,092 PARTIES. OF COURSE, CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS ARE DENYING THE 43 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:15,462 WHOLE THING. AND MANY OF THEM EVEN PUT OUT STATEMENTS 44 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,330 FIRST, CONGRESSMAN KEVIN McCARTHY SAID, "IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE. 45 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,600 NEXT UP, CONGRESSMAN STEVE SCALISE SAID, "I CAN ASSURE YOU THERE'S NO DRUGS AND 46 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:26,940 NO ORGIES. [ LAUGHTER ] FINALLY, CONGRESSMAN BILLY LONG 47 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:31,644 SAID, "THE ALLEGATIONS ARE SIMPLY NOT TRUE. [ LAUGHTER ] 48 00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:34,714 "NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, DADDY'S GOTTA GO TAKE HIS KEYS OUT OF THE FISHBOWL. 49 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:40,887 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, SOME BUSINESS NEWS AMAZON HAS BEEN SECRETLY 50 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:45,625 TESTING ITS DRONE DELIVERY PROGRAM. AND THIS YEAR THEY PLAN TO DROP 51 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:50,997 PACKAGES FROM THE SKY TO MORE THAN 1,000 CUSTOMERS YEAH 52 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,632 PRETTY SOON, AT AMAZON HEADQUARTERS, THEY'RE GOING TO BE LIKE, "TARGET ACQUIRED, 53 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:58,104 RELEASE THE FRUIT OF THE LOOM THREE-PACK RIGHT NOW." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 54 00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,439 YEAH MEANWHILE, IF YOU CHOOSE THREE-DAY SHIPPING, THE 55 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:02,809 PACKAGES FALL TO EARTH MUCH, MUCH SLOWER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 56 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:06,746 THE DRONE PROGRAM IS CALLED PRIME AIR. PRIME AIR. 57 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,582 THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS MORE LIKE A FANCY BOTTLE OF OXYGEN THEY TRY TO SELL ON "SHARK TANK." 58 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:13,420 [ LAUGHTER ] "HEY, SHARKS." I HEARD ABOUT A MAN IN OHIO WHO 59 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:18,525 WAS ROBBED, BUT THE THIEF HAD A VERY INTERESTING APPROACH. LISTEN TO THIS 60 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,463 WAS APPROACHED BY A MAN IN A A SKI MASK HOLDING A POCKET KNIFE. 61 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:27,067 THE ROBBER DEMANDED CASH AND MADE THE VICTIM PINKY PROMISE HE WOULDN'T REPORT THE ROBBERY 62 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:36,142 BEFORE RIDING OFF ON A BICYCLE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHAT 63 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,878 >> Jimmy: WHEN THE VICTIM HANDED OVER THE MONEY, THE THIEF SAID, "HEY, I DIDN'T SAY 64 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,715 'SIMON SAYS' HEY! [ LAUGHTER ] 65 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,451 CAN WE SEE THE GET AWAY VEHICLE? OH, YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE 66 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,953 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: THAT MAKES SENSE 67 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:53,526 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, A MALL IN NEW JERSEY HAS A NEW VENDING 68 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,930 MACHINE THAT YOU CAN MAKE A BURGER IN SIX MINUTES. >> Steve: OOH. 69 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,332 >> Jimmy: HERE IT IS LOOK AT THIS THING YEAH 70 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:02,502 THAT'S GREAT, 'CAUSE BEFORE THIS, GETTING A BURGER WAS SO TIME CONSUMING 71 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:07,073 [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, HOW FAST DO YOU NEED A BURGER WHEN YOU LOOK AT 72 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:10,477 McDONALD'S AND YOU GO, "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT." [ LAUGHTER ] 73 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,779 YEAH, BUT IT MAKES BURGERS AND DOESN'T TALK IT'S BASICALLY YOUR DAD EVERY 74 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,615 FOURTH OF JULY YOU GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 75 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:19,619 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY. 76 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:26,960 * 77 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:36,069 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH 78 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:40,106 THAT'S RIGHT, WHAT A SHOW. WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. 79 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,476 HE'S CURRENTLY ON HIS NEW STANDUP TOUR CALLED "THE KING'S JESTER." 80 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:47,747 HASAN MINHAJ IS HERE TONIGHT >> Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 81 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:52,218 >> Jimmy: FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY DUDE PLUS, HE'S THE WWE UNIVERSAL 82 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:56,389 CHAMPION, AND YOU CAN SEE HIM AT "WRESTLEMANIA," WHICH BEGINS STREAMING SATURDAY NIGHT ON 83 00:05:56,389 --> 00:06:03,830 PEACOCK. ROMAN REIGNS IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 84 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,099 HE'S THE BEST. AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM MIMI WEBB, LADIES AND 85 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:15,075 GENTLEMEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FUN SHOW 86 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,811 IT'S A GREAT SHOW. WE ACTUALLY HAD A GREAT SHOW LAST NIGHT 87 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:23,616 JARED LETO WAS HERE. HIS NEW MARVEL MOVIE "MORBIUS" IS OUT THIS WEEKEND. 88 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,886 I'M ALWAYS BLOWN AWAY BY HOW HE'S ABLE TO DISAPPEAR INTO HIS ROLES. 89 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:31,591 REALLY, IT'S AMAZING ACTUALLY, SOMETHING HAPPENED AMAZING LAST NIGHT WHEN JARED 90 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,060 WAS HERE, RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW >> Steve: REALLY 91 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,129 SHOW >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, CHECK THIS OUT 92 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,131 [ KNOCKING ] >> Jimmy: HEY, JARED 93 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,200 SO EXCITED YOU'RE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT. JUST WANTED TO - 94 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,868 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OH SORRY. 95 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,704 I THOUGHT THIS WAS JARED'S ROOM >> IT IS 96 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:53,113 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I WAS JUST IN CHARACTER 97 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,282 >> Jimmy: THAT'S INCREDIBLE. YOU REALLY DISAPPEAR INTO YOUR ROLES. 98 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:59,686 I WAS GOING TO SAY, I JUST SAW "MORBIUS," AND I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU AT FIRST. 99 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,522 >> I APPRECIATE THAT I REALLY DO. >> Steve: HEY, JIMMY 100 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,258 WHAT'S GOING ON? >> Jimmy: OH, HEY, HIGGINS I WAS JUST SAYING HI TO JARED. 101 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,294 >> Steve: JARED? THERE'S NOBODY IN HERE WITH YOU. 102 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:11,798 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN * WHERE'D HE GO? 103 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:17,070 >> RIGHT HERE. >> Jimmy: I -- AGAIN, UNRECOGNIZABLE 104 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,673 I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW YOU DO IT. IT'S SO GOOD 105 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:22,409 >> Steve: I'M JUST KIDDING * IT WAS REALLY ME 106 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:26,446 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH >> GOT YOU AGAIN 107 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:31,151 >> Jimmy: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT YOU WERE JARED, PRETENDING TO BE HIGGINS, PRETENDING TO BE 108 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:35,055 JARED, PRETENDING TO BE HIGGINS? >> ALMOST. 109 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:41,094 BUT -- BUT NO. I -- I'M NOT JARED >> Jimmy: THEN WHO ARE YOU 110 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:46,366 >> Jimmy: I'M JIMMY. >> Jimmy: THEN THAT MAKES ME - >> Jimmy: YEP. 111 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:52,472 >> JARED >> Jimmy: INCREDIBLE >> NOT TOO BAD YOURSELF. 112 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:59,813 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. SO, WAIT, WHERE IS HIGGINS * 113 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,016 >> Steve: MY FIRST GUEST STARS IN "MORBIUS. GIVE IT UP FOR JARED LETO! 114 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:09,522 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT? 115 00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:14,327 LET HIM HAVE IT. WANT TO GRAB A BITE? >> THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK 116 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:23,203 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO 117 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:29,309 JARED LETO, EVERYBODY. AW, HE'S A BUDDY HEY, EVERYONE. 118 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:33,246 IT IS NANA WEEK THIS WEEK ON OUR SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 119 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:37,183 IN HONOR OF MY NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK, "NANA LOVES YOU MORE." WE'VE BEEN GIVING SOME LOVE OUT 120 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:41,654 TO ALL THE GRANDMAS OUT THERE, ALL THE GAMMIES, ALL THE -- ALL THE MEEMAWS, ALL THE BUBBIES, 121 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,057 THE YAYAS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF 122 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:49,195 DIFFERENT NAMES FOR NANA OUT THERE. BUT EACH NIGHT THIS WEEK WE'RE 123 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,265 SHOW CASING A TALENTED GRANDMA ON OUR SHOW. AND TONIGHT'S TALENTED NANA IS 124 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:56,736 PATSY HERB SHE'S 72 YEARS OLD, AND SHE'S FROOM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, AND 125 00:08:56,736 --> 00:09:02,742 TONIGHT SHE'S GOING TO SHOW OFF SOME OF HER DANCE MOVES FOR US COME ON OUT HERE, PATSY! 126 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,580 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: HEY! 127 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,316 PATSY! >> HOW YOU DOING >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, IT'S NICE 128 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,485 TO SEE YOU >> THANK YOU, YOU LOOK GREAT >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO "THE 129 00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,788 TONIGHT SHOW." >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, 130 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,856 PATSY. >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: PATSY, HOW LONG HAVE 131 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,059 YOU BEEN DANCING >> ALL MY LIFE >> Jimmy: OH, ALL YOUR LIFE. 132 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,795 OH, MY GOODNESS, SINCE YOU WERE A BABY, HUH? >> YOU GOT IT. 133 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,863 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU GOT IN IN YOU. I HEAR THAT YOU HAVE A VERY 134 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,599 SPECIAL DANCE THAT YOU WANT TO PERFORM JUST FOR US. AND I WAS WONDERING WHERE DID 135 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:30,303 YOU LEARN THIS >> I TAUGHT MYSELF HOW TO TWERK. 136 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:40,580 [ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS >> Jimmy: BE CAREFUL, PATSY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 137 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,084 ROOTS, I'M EXCITED TO -- HERE'S PATSY -- >> BUT BEFORE -- 138 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,386 >> Jimmy: WHAT, WHAT >> I HAVE ONE -- I HAVE ONE MORE REQUEST 139 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,055 >> Jimmy: YES? >> ANYBODY OVER 65 YEARS OLD AND OLDER -- 140 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:52,926 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME 141 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,061 >> Jimmy: OKAY, THERE YOU GO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 142 00:09:55,061 --> 00:10:00,700 WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, ROOTS, GIVE HER A BEAT. * 143 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:12,178 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 144 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:20,820 [ CHEERS ] >> Jimmy: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING? 145 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,990 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 146 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,159 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, OKAY. OKAY, VERY GOOD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH 147 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,827 * THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 148 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,763 PATSY. PATSY HERB, EVERYBODY. PATSY HERB 149 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,631 STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" EVERYBODY. 150 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,299 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, MY -- THAT WAS EXCELLENT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 151 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:42,776 * * >> Jimmy: ALEXA. 152 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:47,914 WHAT ARE NINJA TURTLES >> ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA -- 153 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,516 >> ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA -- [ DING ] 154 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:11,171 COMEDIAN WHO IS CURRENTLY ON HIS NEW STANDUP TOUR CALLED "THE KING'S JESTER." 155 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,240 FOR TICKETS GO TO HASANMINHAJ.COM. PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS 156 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:14,874 HASANMINHAJ.COM. PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS ENTERTAINING HASAN MINHAJ. 157 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,404 DRESSED MAN RIGHT THERE. >> THANK YOU 158 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:47,273 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS ] 159 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:51,111 HASAN, IT'S GOOD TO SEE -- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUDS. >> OH, THANK YOU 160 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,114 ARE WE REALLY BUDDIES? >> Jimmy: YES, WE'RE BUDDIES [ LAUGHTER ] 161 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,883 >> NO, I'M SERIOUS >> Jimmy: YES, OF COURSE WE'RE BUDDIES. 162 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,919 I KNOW YOUR WIFE I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A LONG TIME >> YOU KNOW, JIMMY, I'M AT THAT 163 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:03,656 AGE NOW. I'M 36 AND I REALIZED I DON'T REALLY HAVE FRIENDS. 164 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:07,060 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT >> YOU KNOW THIS 165 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,129 YOU HIT A CERTAIN AGE. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND UNLESS, YOU KNOW, IT'S 166 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:15,335 GOLF, GAMBLING, OR VIDEO GAMES, YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. STEVE, DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS 167 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:20,607 >> Steve: YEAH >> JIMMY, DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS, SINCERELY? 168 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:23,543 >> Jimmy: NO [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> NO, NO. 169 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,279 NANCY HAS FRIENDS AND THEN YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH THEIR HUSBANDS 170 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:30,383 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY >> AND THIS IS WHY I'M JEALOUS 171 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,985 BECAUSE YOU MET BEENA BACKSTAGE. AND BEENA HAS MULTIPLE BEST 172 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:35,121 FRIENDS. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> MULTIPLE. 173 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,657 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> LIKE, SHE'LL BE LIKE, "WE HAVE TO GO TO SARA'S WEDDING 174 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:41,094 SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND." I'M LIKE, "WE WERE JUST AT PRYHA'S WEDDING. 175 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,197 I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND." AND SHE'S LIKE, "YOU KNOW THIS 176 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:47,367 BEST FRIEND IS NOT AN INDIVIDUAL IT IS A TIER." 177 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,569 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A TIER OF BEST FRIENDS 178 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,638 >> I'M LIKE -- THIS IS JUST UNITED 1K? IT'S 14 GIRLS JUST VYING FOR A 179 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:57,210 A SPOT IN YOUR TIER. >> Jimmy: YEAH TO BE ALL BEST FRIENDS 180 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,612 >> ASK A GROWN MAN BE LIKE, "HEY, WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?" 181 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,216 THEY'LL BE LIKE, "WHEN I WAS EIGHT -- [ LAUGHTER ] 182 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:08,154 "ANDREW BARRONS -- I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HIM IN 28 YEARS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD NAME 183 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:12,192 >> NO, HE'S REAL LISTEN, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS 184 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,060 I WAS, LIKE -- YO, I HAD TO FILL OUT AN EMERGENCY CONTACT FORM, AND THERE WERE, LIKE -- 185 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:20,633 THERE'S TWO LINES, RIGHT YOU KNOW THIS. IT'S -- THE FIRST WAS, LIKE, 186 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,903 FAMILY MEMBER. THE SECOND ONE, THEY'RE LIKE, "PICK A FRIEND." 187 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,072 THE FIRST ONE, OBVIOUSLY, WAS BEENA. AND THEN THE SECOND ONE WAS 188 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:31,311 JUST 9-1-1 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT NUMBER 189 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,080 TO WRITE DOWN. >> I WAS LIKE, "NO, NO, NO DON'T -- 190 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,749 THEY'RE LIKE," WHAT IF YOU'RE HAVING A HEART ATTACK? I'M LIKE, "DON'T CALL MY 191 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:38,084 FRIENDS. THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF ME." [ LAUGHTER ] 192 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:42,255 I'M SERIOUS. LIKE, WHY CAN'T WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER, JIMMY 193 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,557 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU SAYING -- CERTAIN MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE, WHY CAN'T WE 194 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:50,463 >> YEAH, LIKE, I WANT MY INSTAGRAM COMMENTS TO BE LIKE BEENA'S INSTAGRAM COMMENTS 195 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,999 [ LAUGHTER ] EVERY GIRL YOU SEE IN YOUR LIFE, LIKE, YOU GO TO THEIR 196 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,236 INSTAGRAM COMMENTS EVERY TIME I GO TO BEENA'S PAGE, ALL OF HER FRIENDS - 197 00:13:56,236 --> 00:14:00,040 ANY PHOTO. "STUNNING. "GORGEOUS. 198 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:06,413 "HOT MAMA. "LOVE YOUR LOOK. "KILLING IT. 199 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:13,053 "I AM SCREAMING. "BREATHTAKING. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 200 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,456 >> BREATHTAKING. >> Jimmy: BREATHTAKING THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH 201 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,291 >> TONIGHT, IF I GO TO YOUR INSTAGRAM PAGE, AND I WRITE, "BREATHTAKING," YOU WILL BLOCK 202 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:22,929 ME [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'LL BE LIKE, "HASAN'S ON 203 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:27,734 KETAMINE, I THINK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BREATHTAKING, WOW. 204 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,904 >> THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP. >> Jimmy: THAT'S INTERESTING, YEAH 205 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:34,507 NO, I WOULD NEVER -- I WOULD NEVER BLOCK YOU. >> DO YOU CRY? 206 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,243 DO YOU GO TO THERAPY HONESTLY >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON? 207 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,879 DO I GO TO THERAPY >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: NO, I DON'T GO TO -- 208 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,382 >> NEITHER DO -- SEE -- >> Jimmy: BUT WE CAN 209 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,985 >> I DON'T GO TO THERAPY, BUT I DO WATCH PIXAR MOVIES. [ LAUGHTER ] 210 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,388 EVERY TWO YEARS. EVERY TWO YEARS, I WATCH A A PIXAR MOVIE. 211 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,558 >> Jimmy: THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. >> I GET A GOOD CRY OUT. >> Jimmy: YES! 212 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,627 >> FELLAS, YOU'VE GOT TO CRY IT'S LIKE MASTURBATING FOR YOUR EMOTIONS 213 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,797 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 214 00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:00,734 YOU JUST WATCH "ENCANTO. YOU'RE LIKE -- AND THEN YOU'RE LIKE, I'VE GOT TO DO MY TAXES. 215 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:04,838 [ LAUGHTER ] JUST CLARITY OF MIND >> Jimmy: NEVER HEARD OF THAT 216 00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:07,640 ONE. NEVER PUT IT THAT WAY. >> OKAY. 217 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,577 THINK ABOUT THIS THINK ABOUT THIS HONESTLY. >> Jimmy: OKAY 218 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:17,484 >> DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW YOUR DAD CRY? I WAS 16 219 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:20,754 HOW OLD WERE YOU >> Jimmy: I MEAN, GOSH, I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER. 220 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,156 >> THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> Jimmy: THERE'S ONE EXACT -- 221 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,658 >> THERE'S ONE MOMENT, RIGHT I WAS 16 LIKE, MY SISTER CAME IN, SHE'S 222 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:29,496 LIKE, "DAD IS CRYING." IT WAS LIKE SEEING A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR DRIVEWAY. 223 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:33,199 YOU'RE LIKE, I KNOW THIS COULD HAPPEN [ LAUGHTER ] 224 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,835 I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 225 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,471 DO I WALK UP TO HIM? DOES HE WALK UP TO ME? DO I GET BIG LIKE, "I'M NOT 226 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,941 HERE TO HURT YOU"? LIKE, WHAT DO I SAY? [ LAUGHTER ] 227 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,678 >> Jimmy: TO A MOUNTAIN LION - >> RIGHT LIKE -- WE HAVE THESE CORE 228 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,514 MEMORIES THERE'S TWO CORE MEMORIES YOU HAVE AS A YOUNG MAN, RIGHT 229 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,616 >> Jimmy: YEP. >> THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE YOUR DAD CRY. 230 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,886 >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT >> AND THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE YOUR DAD'S [ BLEEP ] 231 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:56,923 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW -- DON'T PULL A - YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M 232 00:15:56,923 --> 00:16:00,193 TALKING ABOUT. RIGHT? YOU'RE, LIKE, FIVE YEARS OLD 233 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:05,331 YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER AND YOU'RE LIKE, "WHOA. PAPA IS PACKING. 234 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,501 [ LAUGHTER ] 'CAUSE YOU -- DON'T -- JIMMY, DON'T DO THIS? 235 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,671 OKAY IT'S LIKE iMAX YOU'RE SMALL 236 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,841 HE'S -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THE VANTAGE -- THE CAMERA'S HERE, RIGHT? 237 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:18,345 >> Jimmy: OH, NO, NO, NO >> THINK ABOUT -- IT'S LIKE -- LISTEN 238 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,047 DON'T DO THAT. DON'T DO THAT. I'LL USE A DIFFERENT WORD. 239 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,918 IT'S REALLY -- IT'S LIKE WATCHING "AVENGERS: ENDGAME" FOR US, RIGHT? 240 00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:28,288 LIKE, WHEN WE SEE -- THAT'S WHAT IT IS FOR A LITTLE KID. LIKE, THEY'RE JUST LIKE, "WHOA, 241 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:34,094 THANOS IS HUGE AND PURPLE AND WRINKLY. 242 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,263 IT'S JUST IN iMAX. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU FOR THAT 243 00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:42,302 >> NO, LIKE -- IT WAS A TREAT IT WAS A TREAT TO SEE YOUR 244 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:46,573 DAD'S SNUFFLEUPAGUS. IT WAS A TREAT [ LAUGHTER ] 245 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:51,478 I REMEMBER THE DAY, 6-1-91 LIKE, I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE THE DATE 246 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,113 BURNED IN YOUR MEMORY? >> YEAH, MAN IT WAS A TREAT 247 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:58,084 >> Jimmy: WOW. >> AND NOW I'M MAKING MEMORIES WITH MY SON. 248 00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:02,022 SO, I -- I KNOW HE'S ABOUT - SO, I'LL BE IN THE SHOWER AND SOMETIMES I'LL JUST GET UP - 249 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:08,094 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN I'LL JUST OPEN UP A LITTLE BIT JUST LET HIM KNOW WHAT IT IS 250 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:11,264 'CAUSE I WANT THAT TO EMBED IN HIS RAM. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 251 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:14,267 JUST BE LIKE, "OH, YEAH. I WANT HIM TO WALK INTO BRIGHT HORIZONS AND BE LIKE, "PAPA IS 252 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,937 PACKING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BRIGHT HORIZONS. 253 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,674 >> YEAH. OVER ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. 254 00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:23,076 >> Jimmy: YEAH I THINK FOR ME, IT WAS CRYING AND THE OTHER MOMENT AT THE 255 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:26,780 EXACT SAME TIME. I THINK IT HAPPENED AT THE SAME TIME FOR ME. 256 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:31,384 [ LAUGHTER ] HOW IS THE TOUR GOING, BY THE WAY? 257 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,754 YOU SOLD OUT RADIO CITY FIVE TIMES OVER >> IT WAS AMAZING, MAN 258 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:39,125 >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS, MAN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DID I GET TO TELL YOU THIS, BY 259 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:43,063 THE WAY? MY OFFICE IS RIGHT BY RADIO CITY, AND I SAW YOU OUTSIDE. 260 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,931 WERE YOU TAKING PHOTOS ON THE ROOF >> YEAH, THAT WAS ME ON THE 261 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,434 ROOF I WAS LIKE, "I'VE GOT TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. 262 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:50,403 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IF I HAD KNOWN, I WAS GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW. 263 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,138 >> AW, YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT >> Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT I WAS SO 264 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,107 HAPPY FOR YOU, BUD >> SO, YOU GET TO DO THESE GREAT VENUES LIKE RADIO CITY 265 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,109 >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> AND THEN, A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WAS IN THE SOUTH AND I WAS IN 266 00:17:56,109 --> 00:18:00,580 NASHVILLE. AND I WAS PERFORMING AT ANDREW JACKSON AUDITORIUM. 267 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,284 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, LIKE, A LITTLE HEAVY, YOU KNOW 268 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,052 THE ENTIRE TIME I'M ON STAGE AND RIGHT NEXT TO ME, THERE'S JUST A HUGE PAINTING OF 269 00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:14,894 ANDREW JACKSON LOOKING AT ME LIKE, HE'S JUST LIKE, "TAAHH WHAT ARE ALL THESE INDIANS 270 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:19,065 DOING HERE [ LAUGHTER ] I THOUGHT WE GAVE THEM 271 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:23,036 SMALLPOX." LIKE, HE'S SO ANGRY. AND THE PROMOTER WAS JUST LIKE, 272 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:26,473 "DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT DOWN?" I'M LIKE, "NO, LEAVE IT UP 273 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:30,043 I WANT TO ANGER HIS GHOST. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT MOTIVATES 274 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,379 YOU THROUGH THE SET. >> YEAH. IT MADE ME FEEL A CERTAIN WAY. 275 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,881 AND SHE JUST GOES, "THANK GOD WE DON'T HAVE CONFEDERATE STATUES. 276 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:38,051 I'M LIKE, "I LOVE CONFEDERATE STATUES. >> Jimmy: YOU DO 277 00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:40,587 WHY -- >> I WAS JUST MESSING WITH HER BUT I SAY WE LEAVE THEM UP 278 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:47,360 LEAVE THEM UP. LOOK, YOU CAN'T CHANGE HISTORY YOU CAN ONLY CURATE IT, JIMMY. 279 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,963 >> Jimmy: CURATE IT. >> THINK ABOUT IT. I GREW UP -- I REMEMBER. 280 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,699 I LEARNED -- I LEARNED ABOUT THE CONFEDERACY. I LEARNED ABOUT ROBERT E. LEE. 281 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:56,069 THEY WERE CALLED THE REBELS. I'M LIKE, "I'M A REBEL HE'S JUST LIKE ME. 282 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:59,706 I DON'T WEAR MY RETAINER AT NIGHT. HE'S JUST LIKE ME. 283 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,208 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE A REBELLIOUS BY NOT WEARING YOUR RETAINER, YEAH 284 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,177 >> AND THEN I LOOKED IT UP THIS PAST WEEK. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE 285 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:09,115 CONFEDERACY LASTED >> Jimmy: I DON'T. >> ANYONE HERE 286 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:14,554 FOUR YEARS, THREE MONTHS YO, I WAS AN UNDERGRAD LONGER THAN THE CONFEDERACY 287 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:21,227 [ LAUGHTER ] DUDE, MY WIFE'S IUD LASTED LONGER THAN THE CONFEDERACY. 288 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:26,499 "JERSEY SHORE" LASTED SIX SEASONS. ALL RIGHT, SOME OF YOU GUYS 289 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,335 AREN'T LAUGHING. I SEE THAT THERE'S VIRGINS HERE TONIGHT. 290 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,404 SO, AN IUD - [ LAUGHTER ] NO, NO 291 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,273 YOU DON'T KNOW THIS. AND IUD IS A TINY PIECE OF COPPER 292 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,342 IT GOES INSIDE OF A WOMAN'S UTERUS IT'S SHAPED LIKE THE TESLA 293 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,043 LOGO >> Jimmy: OKAY, YEAH, ALL RIGHT -- 294 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:42,048 [ LAUGHTER ] [ RIM SHOT ] >> OKAY? 295 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:46,386 AND THAT LASTED LONGER THAN THE CONFEDERACY. SO, HERE'S WHAT I SAY. 296 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:50,857 I SAY WE KEEP UP THE ROBERT E. LEE STATUE THEN WE HAVE SNOOKI NEXT TO IT 297 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:57,063 THEN WE HAVE MY WIFE'S IUD, JUST FOR HISTORICAL CONTEXT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 298 00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,367 >> Jimmy: GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST OF THE TOUR HASAN MINHAJ, EVERYBODY. 299 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,636 FOR TICKETS GO TO HASANMINHAJ.COM. "THE KING'S JESTER" IS THE NAME 300 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,939 OF THE TOUR. HASAN AND I ARE PLAYING A FUN GAME AFTER THE BREAK 301 00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:15,015 STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 302 00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,716 >> Jimmy: SO AFTER THIS SATURDAY, SMOKE CLEARS, WRESTLEMANIA, WHAT ARE WE GONNA 303 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:21,454 SEE? >> IT'S CHECKMATE, MAN IT'S TIME THAT WE CLOSE THIS 304 00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:35,402 CHAPTER AND MOVE ON. >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 305 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:40,640 RIGHT NOW, WITH HASAN MINHAJ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY "HEY, 306 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,777 NOW, WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY "HEY, ROBOT. HERE WE GO 307 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,545 * HEY, HE 308 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:50,250 HEY, ROBOT HEY, ROBOT * >> Jimmy: NOW, HERE'S HOW IT 309 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,752 WORKS. THIS IS BASED ON A REAL BOARD GAME, "HEY, ROBOT," THAT YOU 310 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,155 CAN PLAY AT HOME IT'S LIKE THE CLASSIC GAME "PASSWORD," BUT YOUR PARTNER IS 311 00:20:55,155 --> 00:20:59,325 A SMART SPEAKER, OKAY? NOW FIRST, WHAT YOU DO IS YOU PICK A CARD WITH A WORD ON IT, 312 00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:03,263 THEN WE'LL TAKE TURNS ASKING A A QUESTION TO GET THE SPEAKER TO SAY THAT WORD SOMEWHERE IN 313 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:07,734 ITS ANSWER IF IT DOES, YOU GET A POINT. READY FOR THIS 314 00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:10,136 >> GOT IT, YES >> Jimmy: I WILL GO FIRST. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 315 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:15,075 UNMUTE IT. OKAY, HERE'S THE WORD I HAVE TO GET IT TO SAY. 316 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:22,282 ALL RIGHT. ALEXA, WHAT IS MORRIS DAY'S BAND 317 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:27,754 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, 318 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:31,691 MORRIS DAY IS BEST KNOWN AS THE LEAD SINGER OF THE TIME. * 319 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,395 [ DINGING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OKAY. 320 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:38,998 OKAY OKAY OKAY 321 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,534 OH, OKAY >> Jimmy: SORRY, MAN >> ALL RIGHT 322 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,704 OKAY OKAY OKAY 323 00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:48,641 OKAY >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, DUDE 324 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,144 >> I'M NOT GOING TO TWERK. I'M NOT GOING TO - >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 325 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:54,647 [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, HERE'S -- >> THESE S'MEDIUMS ARE TOO 326 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,150 TIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: S'MEDIUMS. 327 00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,652 >> YEAH, YOU KNOW. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. HASAN, HERE'S YOUR WORD RIGHT 328 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,288 THERE. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: NO, YOU -- 329 00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:04,691 >> I'VE GOT TO FLIP IT >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU FLIP IT. YOU CAN SHOW EVERYONE. 330 00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,659 TELL EVERYONE. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: MUTANT 331 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,062 >> GOT IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK YOU'VE GOT THIS 332 00:22:09,062 --> 00:22:12,065 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: YEP. >> ALEXA, WOLVERINE IN "THE 333 00:22:12,065 --> 00:22:23,610 X-MEN" IS A BLANK. >> WOLVERINE IS FEATURED IN "X-MEN" WITH HUGH JACKMAN. 334 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:27,113 [ LAUGHTER ] [ BUZZER ] >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT WERE YOU 335 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:31,484 SAYING DO IT AGAIN. >> ALEXA, IN THE MARVEL 336 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:35,622 CINEMATIC UNIVERSE, THE X-MEN ARE -- >> MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE'S 337 00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:39,092 SECTIONS ARE "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR," "ANTMAN," "IRON MAN 3," "IRON MAN AND 338 00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:43,930 IRON MAN 2" -- >> ALEXA, I'M ABOUT TO REPLACE YOU WITH GOOGLE HOME 339 00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,332 YOU KEEP - [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE YOU KEEP ACTING UP. 340 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:49,636 >> SORRY I'M HAVING TROUBLE HEARING CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN 341 00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:52,138 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. HERE WE GO >> ALEXA, STOP IT. 342 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:55,642 >> Jimmy: WE NEED THIS ONE ALEXA, STOP. STOP 343 00:22:55,642 --> 00:23:08,521 ALL RIGHT. WE NEED MUTANT ALEXA, WHAT ARE NINJA TURTLES? 344 00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,591 >> ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 345 00:23:11,591 --> 00:23:27,073 [ DINGING * >> OKAY. 346 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:29,309 I DIDN'T HAVE ANY -- >> Jimmy: YOU UNDERSTAND THE GAME NOW 347 00:23:29,309 --> 00:23:32,812 OKAY, ALEXA, STOP. ALEXA, STOP. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 348 00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:35,749 OKAY ALL RIGHT. YOU TAKE THIS ONE, YEAH. 349 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:48,528 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. ALEXA, WHEN YOU HIT SOMEONE, 350 00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:53,667 YOU GIVE IT A -- >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. 351 00:23:53,667 --> 00:23:58,271 ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, IT MEANS TO STRIKE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. 352 00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:00,907 DID THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? >> NO! [ LAUGHTER ] 353 00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:02,742 [ BUZZER ] * >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 354 00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:05,145 ABOUT? IS THAT FILL IN THE BLANK YOU'RE PLAYING WITH? 355 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:07,347 >> ALEXA - >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T PLAY FILL IN THE BLANK 356 00:24:07,347 --> 00:24:09,749 >> OKAY, OKAY, SO -- >> Jimmy: WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 357 00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:14,888 IT'S NOT A REAL THING? >> HOW DO I WORK BACKWARDS NOW I HAVE TO DO ALGEBRA, 358 00:24:14,888 --> 00:24:17,624 RIGHT? X EQUALS WHACK LIKE -- ALL RIGHT, OKAY, JIMMY, 359 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,560 GO GO GO 360 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:28,568 YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH ALEXA. THIS IS -- YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS >> Jimmy: ALEXA, NAME SOME OF 361 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:33,907 HOWARD STERN'S COSTARS >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. 362 00:24:33,907 --> 00:24:39,279 ACCORDING TO THETHINGS.COM, "HOWARD STERN SHOW" FANS HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH BEN AND 363 00:24:39,279 --> 00:24:42,549 RAY STERN EVER SINCE THE EARLIEST DAYS OF HOWARD'S INCREDIBLE CAREER. 364 00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:46,586 [ LAUGHTER ] >> THERE YOU GO. [ BUZZER ] 365 00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:48,655 * >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT THE WHACK PACK 366 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:52,092 >> YEAH! >> Jimmy: WHACK. OH 367 00:24:52,092 --> 00:24:54,794 >> CAN WE DO THAT THING, LIKE, WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING WITH YOUR FAMILY, JUST SKIP IT 368 00:24:54,794 --> 00:24:57,530 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE CAN SKIP IT, OR WE CAN GO -- WAIT, I'LL JUST TRY TO GET - 369 00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:03,103 >> NO, NO, NO, GO, GO AHEAD. >> Jimmy: LET'S SOLVE IT >> OKAY. 370 00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:05,405 BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO GO, "WHAT IS WHACK," YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 371 00:25:05,405 --> 00:25:07,574 "WHAT IS WHACK?" >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW, WHAT IS WHACK. 372 00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:15,048 >> AND WHAT WOULD MAKE - >> MAYBE -- ALEXA, READ THE POEM KNICKKNACK PATTY -- 373 00:25:15,048 --> 00:25:19,486 >> I COULDN'T FIND KNICKKNACK PATTY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU COULD. 374 00:25:19,486 --> 00:25:21,121 >> YEAH, YOU COULD, ALEXA. [ BUZZER ] * 375 00:25:21,121 --> 00:25:23,423 >> Jimmy: YOU COULD ACTUALLY >> ALEXA, YOU TOTALLY COULD. >> YOU TOTALLY COULD, IT'S VERY 376 00:25:23,423 --> 00:25:27,894 EASY >> ALEXA, ARE YOU SPYING ON US ALL THE TIME 377 00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:30,063 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO >> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 378 00:25:30,063 --> 00:25:32,165 WE'RE PASSING. >> OH, NOW -- OKAY >> Jimmy: WE'RE PASSING. 379 00:25:32,165 --> 00:25:34,467 WE'RE PASSING. >> LET'S PASS. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WE'RE 380 00:25:34,467 --> 00:25:36,536 GOING TO GO WITH THIS. THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND. >> FINAL ROUND 381 00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:38,838 >> Jimmy: HASAN, I WANT YOU TO TRY TO GET THIS. >> SURE, SURE. 382 00:25:38,838 --> 00:25:40,907 THIS IS, LIKE, ALL THE BONUS POINTS >> Jimmy: YES. 383 00:25:40,907 --> 00:25:47,814 >> OH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OKAY 384 00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:54,788 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: OKAY >> OKAY. 385 00:25:54,788 --> 00:26:07,367 ALEXA, A MOVIE WITH MARK WAHLBERG WHERE HE PLAYS A A STRIPPER 386 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:09,769 >> HM, I DON'T KNOW THAT ONE >> NO, NO, NO, ALEXA, A MOVIE -- 387 00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,204 [ BUZZER ] * NO, NO, NO, NO 388 00:26:11,204 --> 00:26:13,273 NO, NO, NO, NO QUEST, DON'T DO THAT DON'T DO THAT. 389 00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:18,745 I KNOW YOU'RE A CINEPHILE -- ALEXA! ALEXA, THE MOVIE WHERE 390 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:23,450 MARK WAHLBERG -- [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER WHERE HE PLAYS A PORN STAR 391 00:26:23,450 --> 00:26:26,386 >> THE ONLY JOHN MARTIN MOVIE IS "GETTYSBURG: THREE DAYS OF DESTINY. 392 00:26:26,386 --> 00:26:28,254 >> Jimmy: WAIT, STOP [ BUZZER ] * 393 00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:33,393 ALL RIGHT, DO IT AGAIN TRY IT AGAIN, TRY IT AGAIN >> ALEXA, MOVIE WITH 394 00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:38,098 MARK WAHLBERG WHERE HE PLAYS - >> I KNOW ABOUT 137 MARK WAHLBERG MOVIES 395 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:40,600 INCLUDING "THE DEPARTETD." >> Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE, 137 MOVIES 396 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,770 >> 137 [ BUZZER ] * 397 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,606 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH ALL OF HIS MOVIES. ALEXA, WHAT ARE THE LYRICS 398 00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:52,846 TO - ALEXA, WHAT ARE THE LYRICS TO "I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE" 399 00:26:52,846 --> 00:26:57,117 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, "I 400 00:26:57,117 --> 00:27:01,588 LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE (DISCO 'ROUND)" IS A POPULAR DISCO SONG RECORDED BY AMERICAN 401 00:27:01,588 --> 00:27:08,028 SINGER ALICIA BRIDGES IN 1978. [ LAUGHTER ] [ BUZZER ] 402 00:27:08,028 --> 00:27:10,897 * >> COME ON >> Jimmy: YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE? 403 00:27:10,897 --> 00:27:14,067 CAN WE CRACK THIS? >> WE GOT TO CRACK THIS. >> Jimmy: WE GOT TO CRACK THIS 404 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:16,336 OKAY -- OH Questlove: BUT FIRST - >> NO, NO, NO, QUEST, WHAT'S 405 00:27:16,336 --> 00:27:19,639 UP >> Questlove: THE FIRST SINGLE FROM THE JACKSONS' "DESTINY" 406 00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:23,777 ALBUM. >> Jimmy: WOW. ALEXA, WHAT'S THE FIRST SINGLE 407 00:27:23,777 --> 00:27:29,049 OFF THE JACKSONS' "DESTINY" ALBUM. >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON 408 00:27:29,049 --> 00:27:34,487 THE WEB. ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, DESPITE THE MICK JACKSON 409 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:40,627 ORIGINAL REACHING NUMBER 61 PEAK ON THE BILLBOARD HOT 100 IN SEPTEMBER 1978, EPIC 410 00:27:40,627 --> 00:27:44,431 RECORDS THAT MONTH RELEASED THE JACKSONS' VERSION OF "BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE" - 411 00:27:44,431 --> 00:27:50,070 [ DINGING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 412 00:27:50,070 --> 00:27:54,074 >> Jimmy: YES! WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 413 00:27:54,074 --> 00:27:56,910 >> Questlove: WAS THAT ME? >> Jimmy: THAT WAS YOU, MAN! I'M SWEATING 414 00:27:56,910 --> 00:28:01,014 LOVE YOU, DUDE WE'RE FRIENDS FOREVER. >> FOREVER 415 00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:02,749 >> Jimmy: HASAN MINHAJ, EVERYBODY. CATCH HIM ON TOUR WITH HIS NEW 416 00:28:02,749 --> 00:28:06,086 STANDUP SHOW, "THE KING'S JESTER." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 417 00:28:06,086 --> 00:28:09,689 ROMAN REIGNS STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 418 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:31,945 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION 419 00:28:31,945 --> 00:28:35,081 YOU CAN SEE HIM GOING HEAD-TO-HEAD WITH BROCK LESNAR AT "WRESTLEMANIA," WHICH BEGINS 420 00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:46,126 STREAMING ITS TWO DAY EVENT SATURDAY NIGHT ON PEACOCK. PLEASE WELCOME ROMAN REIGNS. 421 00:28:49,295 --> 00:29:03,209 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> LOOKS GOOD, HUH 422 00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:06,146 >> Jimmy: LOOKING SHARP. YEAH, THIS FEELS SO GOOD, MAN. OH, MY GOSH. 423 00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:09,315 THIS IS THE REAL DEAL. I MEAN, DOES IT -- >> DON'T -- DON'T GET TOO 424 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:11,284 ATTACHED >> Jimmy: NO, YEAH I WON'T -- YEAH. 425 00:29:11,284 --> 00:29:12,652 [ LAUGHTER ] AS A KID GROWING UP AND DREAMING ABOUT THIS, DOES IT 426 00:29:12,652 --> 00:29:17,857 FEEL SURREAL TO YOU WHEN YOU HOLD THIS, WHEN YOU HAVE THIS BELT 427 00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:20,527 >> EVERY DAY, MAN. I MEAN, NOT EVEN -- EVEN JUST THE TITLE, JUST LIFE IN 428 00:29:20,527 --> 00:29:25,732 GENERAL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WE'RE VERY BLESSED MEN, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE REALLY ARE. 429 00:29:25,732 --> 00:29:29,269 DO YOUR KIDS UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU DO >> THEY'RE GETTING -- I MEAN, 430 00:29:29,269 --> 00:29:32,772 MY DAUGHTER'S 14, SO SHE'S KIND OF SEEN THE WHOLE PROCESS. BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TWO SETS 431 00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:40,246 OF TWINS YOU KNOW, THE BABIES ARE TWO THE OLDER BOYS ARE FIVE NOW. 432 00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:44,050 SO, THE BABIES DEFINITELY -- THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON 433 00:29:44,050 --> 00:29:48,555 THE BIG BOYS ARE STARTING TO KIND OF UNDERSTAND THAT DAD GOES TO WRESTLING SHOWS. 434 00:29:48,555 --> 00:29:51,291 THAT'S WHAT HE DOES. "YOU GOING TO THE WRESTLING SHOW?" 435 00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:53,893 >> Jimmy: THEY JUST THINK YOU GO WATCH WRESTLING SHOWS >> I DON'T KNOW -- I'M NOT 436 00:29:53,893 --> 00:29:57,297 REALLY SURE WHAT THEY THINK I DO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 437 00:29:57,297 --> 00:30:01,234 BECAUSE WHEN THEY -- THE TIMES THEY'VE SEEN ME, I'M JUST KIND OF CUTTING PROMOS AND TALKING. 438 00:30:01,234 --> 00:30:03,303 SO I THINK THEY THINK, "DAD JUST TALKS." BUT FOR A LONG TIME, LIKE 439 00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:08,775 THROUGH THE PANDEMIC, THEY THOUGHT I WORK OUT FOR A A LIVING 440 00:30:08,775 --> 00:30:10,744 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE GOT THE GYM AT THE HOUSE AND, YOU KNOW, I TRY TO GET IN THERE AND DO MY 441 00:30:10,744 --> 00:30:15,215 THING. >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY >> AND THEY KIND OF GOT INTO IT 442 00:30:15,215 --> 00:30:19,953 AS WELL TO JUST COME IN THERE AND HANG OUT AND DO -- ACT LIKE THEY'RE WORKING OUT 443 00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:22,889 GRAB THE FIVE-POUND DUMBBELLS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S AWESOME >> BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK, 444 00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,958 IS I JUST WORK OUT FOR A A LIVING >> Jimmy: IT'S A FAMILY 445 00:30:24,958 --> 00:30:28,561 BUSINESS FOR YOU, REALLY >> YEP >> Jimmy: IT'S BEEN IN YOUR 446 00:30:28,561 --> 00:30:30,330 FAMILY WHO WAS THE FIRST WRESTLER IN YOUR FAMILY? 447 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:34,901 >> SO IT -- I MEAN, IT STARTED WITH THE HIGH CHIEF PETER MAIVIA 448 00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:39,506 HE KIND OF MENTORED MY FATHER AND MY UNCLE, SIKA AND AFA, THE WILD SAMOANS 449 00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:41,808 THEY'RE A TAG TEAM >> Jimmy: THE WILD SAMOANS, ABOSLUTELY 450 00:30:41,808 --> 00:30:44,411 >> ONE OF THE GREATEST TAG TEAMS OF ALL TIME. HALL OF FAMERS 451 00:30:44,411 --> 00:30:47,580 BUT ACTUALLY STARTED -- THEY -- THEY WERE JUST FANS. AND, YOU KNOW, THEY WENT TO 452 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:51,084 A SHOW BACK IN THE DAY IN SAN FRANCISCO AT THE COW PALACE 453 00:30:51,084 --> 00:30:53,653 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> PETER MAIVIA WAS A HUGE STAR BACK THEN IN THE WEST COAST AT 454 00:30:53,653 --> 00:30:58,625 THE TIME, BACK IN THE TERRITORY DAYS AND HE WAS WRESTLING 455 00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,193 PAT PATTERSON. AND PAT WAS BEATING HIM UP PRETTY GOOD, AND MY DAD AND 456 00:31:00,193 --> 00:31:06,499 UNCLE, THEY JUMPED FROM THE CROWD AND KIND OF GOT INVOLVED SO PAT KNEW, HE WAS LIKE, 457 00:31:06,499 --> 00:31:10,070 "WE'VE GOT TO GET THESE GUYS OUT OF THE CROWD WE GOT TO TEACH THEM THE 458 00:31:10,070 --> 00:31:13,406 BUSINESS, AND THAT WAY, YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THESE GUYS ANYMORE." 459 00:31:13,406 --> 00:31:16,676 SO, YEAH >> Jimmy: WHOA THAT'S FANTASTIC 460 00:31:16,676 --> 00:31:18,411 >> IT GOES BACK TO THE '60s AND '70s, YEAH >> Jimmy: AND THEN, WHEN YOU 461 00:31:18,411 --> 00:31:21,147 WERE A KID, DID YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON DID YOU JUST HAVE -- DID YOU 462 00:31:21,147 --> 00:31:24,651 WRESTLE IN THE BACKYARD? DID YOU -- >> MAN, WE WRESTLED EVERYWHERE 463 00:31:24,651 --> 00:31:26,319 SO, MY COUSINS, THE USOS, WHO ARE WITH ME IN WWE NOW, WE WOULD LITERALLY WRESTLE IN 464 00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:32,325 EVERY SINGLE ROOM. WE'D GET KICKED OUT. I MEAN, WHEN THEIR DAD WOULD 465 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:35,462 COME BACK FROM THE ROAD, WE KNEW TO KIND OF CHILL OUT AND TAKE IT OUTSIDE. 466 00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:39,733 BUT WHEN HE WAS OFF ON THE ROAD, IT WAS A FREE FOR ALL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 467 00:31:39,733 --> 00:31:42,602 SO, WE WERE JUST DOING OUR THING. WE WOULD WRESTLE IN THE POOL 468 00:31:42,602 --> 00:31:46,506 FOR HOURS AT TIMES SO YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH 469 00:31:46,506 --> 00:31:49,109 >> WE WERE PUTTING IN WORK AT A VERY EARLY AGE >> Jimmy: I'VE SEEN, YOU KNOW, 470 00:31:49,109 --> 00:31:52,145 A HANDFUL OF DOCUMENTARIES AND IT'S JUST FASCINATING. AND YOU SEE ALL THE GIGS THAT 471 00:31:52,145 --> 00:31:58,752 YOU HAVE TO PLAY TO END UP EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO WWE. BUT I MEAN, YOU PLAYED HIGH 472 00:31:58,752 --> 00:32:01,821 SCHOOLS, WHATEVER IT IS. I MEAN, YOU DO WHATEVER. AND YOU'D CHANGE NAMES AND 473 00:32:01,821 --> 00:32:07,927 CONCEPTS OF WHAT YOUR CHARACTER DOES AND IS. IT'S A ROUGH ROAD, ISN'T IT? 474 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,829 >> YEAH, IT'S -- I MEAN, OFTEN TIMES, I SAY THE THIS IS, LIKE, THE BLUE COLLAR FORM OF 475 00:32:09,829 --> 00:32:14,167 ENTERTAINMENT. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT TO REALLY PAY YOUR DUES AND, YOU KNOW -- 476 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:19,639 GO ON THIS JOURNEY AND IT'S DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE 477 00:32:19,639 --> 00:32:21,808 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE. YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY FAMILY 478 00:32:21,808 --> 00:32:26,179 BACKGROUND THAT'S GUIDED ME ALONG THE WAY. AND OBVIOUSLY I'VE BEEN ABLE TO 479 00:32:26,179 --> 00:32:30,116 TAP INTO A POTENTIAL THAT, YOU KNOW, I WAS UNABLE TO UNLOCK BUT THERE'S A LOT OF GUYS, YOU 480 00:32:30,116 --> 00:32:33,753 KNOW, THAT WE HAVE CURRENTLY IN THE WWE. YOU KNOW, GUYS LIKE 481 00:32:33,753 --> 00:32:38,425 SETH ROLLINS THAT I CAME UP WITH IN WWE THAT HAVE BEEN JOURNEYMEN, THAT HAVE BEEN ALL 482 00:32:38,425 --> 00:32:43,096 OVER THE INDEPENDENT SCENE YOU KNOW, WRESTLING IN ARMORIES, HIGH SCHOOL GYMS, 483 00:32:43,096 --> 00:32:46,633 LIKE YOU SAID. YEAH, IN FRONT OF 200, YOU KNOW, MAX PEOPLE 484 00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:50,103 SO IT'S -- >> Jimmy: MAX. SOMETIMES IT'S 50 PEOPLE 485 00:32:50,103 --> 00:32:54,841 >> IT'S NOT ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL SO, YEAH, I MEAN, WWE IS THE HIGHEST YOU CAN GET. 486 00:32:54,841 --> 00:32:56,242 AND WE'RE VERY PROUD OF THAT, YOU KNOW, GETTING TO THIS POINT. 487 00:32:56,242 --> 00:33:00,547 BUT IT CAN BE ROUGH SOMETIMES. >> Jimmy: THEY JUST ANNOUNCED BIG NEWS IN THE WRESTLING WORLD 488 00:33:00,547 --> 00:33:05,752 THAT TRIPLE H IS RETIRING AS A A WRESTLER I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU, WHAT 489 00:33:05,752 --> 00:33:10,824 DOES TRIPLE H MEAN TO YOU? I KNOW YOU - >> MAN, YOU KNOW, H WAS VERY 490 00:33:10,824 --> 00:33:17,130 CRITICAL IN THIS PROCESS TO GUIDE ME ALONG HE WAS KIND OF -- BEFORE I MET 491 00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:23,136 VINCE AND BUILT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, IT WAS TRIPLE H. HE WAS THE ONE THAT WAS DOWN 492 00:33:23,136 --> 00:33:28,274 THERE IN DEVELOPMENTAL HELPING GUIDE TALENT ALONG YOU KNOW, HE'S THE ONE THAT 493 00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:31,578 KIND OF OVERLOOKED IT. AND BEFORE - >> Jimmy: DEVELOPMENTAL'S LIKE 494 00:33:31,578 --> 00:33:33,980 A -- >> IT'S LIKE THE MINOR LEAGUES OF, YOU KNOW, WWE. 495 00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:38,084 AND BEFORE -- NOW IT'S NXT AND THAT'S A BIG PLATFORM FOR US 496 00:33:38,084 --> 00:33:40,186 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ON TUESDAY NIGHTS ON USA NETWORK. AND THEY'RE A BIG SHOW 497 00:33:40,186 --> 00:33:42,155 THEMSELVES NOW, BUT BEFORE THAT IT WAS JUST CALLED FCW, FLORIDA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING, IN A 498 00:33:42,155 --> 00:33:51,398 A TINY LITTLE WAREHOUSE. AND WE'RE WRESTLING IN - IT WAS LIKE THOSE ARMORIES AND 499 00:33:51,398 --> 00:33:54,434 THE HIGH SCHOOL GYMS, IN FRONT OF 50 PEOPLE KILLING EACH OTHER FOR, YOU 500 00:33:54,434 --> 00:33:59,406 KNOW, WHAT FELT LIKE NOTHING AT THE TIME BUT, YEAH, TRIPLE H WAS HUGE IN 501 00:33:59,406 --> 00:34:05,045 GUIDING ME ALONG >> Jimmy: HE HAD FAITH IN YOU? HE WAS LIKE, "I KNOW THIS KID'S 502 00:34:05,045 --> 00:34:07,380 GOING TO DO SOMETHING. >> I THINK SO. YEAH, I THINK HE RECOGNIZED THE 503 00:34:07,380 --> 00:34:10,684 POTENTIAL. AND HE WAS JUST ALWAYS GOOD TO ME 504 00:34:10,684 --> 00:34:14,187 EARLY ON, I WAS ALWAYS THE TYPE, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS ASKING FOR RAISES 505 00:34:14,187 --> 00:34:16,289 I WAS LIKE, "CAN I GET SOME MORE MONEY?" AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, GO 506 00:34:16,289 --> 00:34:19,659 AHEAD. AND THEN, TWO MONTHS LATER, "CAN I GET SOME MORE MONEY?" 507 00:34:19,659 --> 00:34:23,263 "YEP." AND THEN THERE WAS A POINT, WHERE THEY WERE LIKE, "NO. 508 00:34:23,263 --> 00:34:26,666 AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "WELL, CAN YOU ASK TRIPLE H." AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING, 509 00:34:26,666 --> 00:34:30,603 "YOU'RE GETTING MORE MONEY." >> Jimmy: REALLY >> YEAH. 510 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:33,540 SO MAN, H HAS HOOKED ME UP HE'S ALWAYS LOOKED OVER ME HE'S - 511 00:34:33,540 --> 00:34:36,276 >> Jimmy: DON'T FORGET THAT. >> INSIDE AND OUT, OUT THE RING, HE'S THE BEST. 512 00:34:36,276 --> 00:34:38,912 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LOVE ALWAYS -- ANY TIME I'VE HAD HIM ON THE SHOW OR DEALT WITH HIM, 513 00:34:38,912 --> 00:34:43,083 THAT GUY, HE'S TRULY GENUINE, AWESOME, GREAT GUY >> FIRST CLASS 514 00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:46,119 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THIS IS THIS SATURDAY "WRESTLEMANIA 38." 515 00:34:46,119 --> 00:34:48,521 IS IT 38 ALREADY OH, MY GOSH. >> I KNOW MAN. 516 00:34:48,521 --> 00:34:52,792 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A BIG DEAL. IT IS -- THIS IS -- YOU HAVE THE BELT 517 00:34:52,792 --> 00:34:56,730 BUT THIS ONE'S WINNER TAKE ALL >> YEAH, THIS IS A UNIFICATION RIGHT HERE 518 00:34:56,730 --> 00:35:02,035 >> Jimmy: YOU AND BROCK LESNAR, WHO IS NOT A SMALL DUDE. >> NO. 519 00:35:02,035 --> 00:35:03,737 NO [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS TRYING TO COME UP WITH 520 00:35:03,737 --> 00:35:06,039 SOMETHING. NO, HE'S A - >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO 521 00:35:06,039 --> 00:35:07,640 HE'S - >> TO BE HONEST, HE'S A BIG BOY. 522 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,043 >> Jimmy: HE'S A BIG - >> HE'S A BIG OLE' COUNTRY BOY >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S GIANT AND 523 00:35:10,043 --> 00:35:13,113 HE SCARES ME EVEN JUST -- EVEN JUST SAYING HIS NAME KIND OF SCARES ME TOO 524 00:35:13,113 --> 00:35:16,616 >> I'VE GOT YOUR BACK. DON'T WORRY. >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD, THANK 525 00:35:16,616 --> 00:35:18,251 YOU. 'CAUSE I WAS A LITTLE FRIGHTENED EVEN JUST 526 00:35:18,251 --> 00:35:25,125 INTRODUCING YOU AS WELL. THIS IS YOU -- THIS IS YOU IN "WRESTLEMANIA 34" VERSUS BROCK 527 00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:28,628 AND THIS IS JUST -- THIS IS NOT -- WE DIDN'T COLOR THIS. >> OH, YEAH. 528 00:35:28,628 --> 00:35:31,197 >> Jimmy: THAT IS BLOOD. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] THAT IS YOUR BLOOD ON YOUR -- 529 00:35:31,197 --> 00:35:34,768 ON YOUR FACE >> YES, THAT'S MY BLOOD. YEP. 530 00:35:34,768 --> 00:35:37,704 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR - >> BROCK DID THAT, YEP 531 00:35:37,704 --> 00:35:41,207 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND AT THIS POINT? >> I THINK IN THIS MOMENT I CAN 532 00:35:41,207 --> 00:35:44,477 FINALLY SEE, BECAUSE ONCE THAT BLOOD STARTED COMING DOWN, IT GETS IN YOUR EYEBALLS, YOU KNOW 533 00:35:44,477 --> 00:35:50,383 WHAT I MEAN? SO -- FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE NEVER HAD BLOOD IN YOUR 534 00:35:50,383 --> 00:35:56,723 EYEBALLS, IT'S QUITE THICK AND IT CAN COMPLETELY BLIND YOU AND YOU CAN'T SEE. 535 00:35:56,723 --> 00:36:00,026 SO, I PROBABLY DID ONE OF THESE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND THEN I SAW IT WAS BROCK. 536 00:36:00,026 --> 00:36:03,296 HE'S STILL THERE AHH! >> Jimmy: HE DIDN'T GO AWAY. 537 00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:05,899 >> GO AWAY >> Jimmy: HE DIDN'T GO AWAY. >> HE WAS STILL THERE. 538 00:36:05,899 --> 00:36:08,635 >> Jimmy: HE WAS STILL THERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S EVEN MORE FRIGHTENING, 539 00:36:08,635 --> 00:36:11,771 GOOD I APPRECIATE THE HONESTY SO, AFTER THIS SATURDAY, SMOKE 540 00:36:11,771 --> 00:36:18,144 CLEARS, "WRESTLEMANIA," WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SEE? >> IT'S CHECKMATE, MAN 541 00:36:18,144 --> 00:36:22,282 IT'S TIME, YOU KNOW, THAT WE CLOSE THIS CHAPTER AND MOVE ON YOU KNOW, SO, FOR ME, I'VE BEEN 542 00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:25,952 ON THE RUN OF A LIFETIME I THINK I'VE SOLIDIFIED MYSELF CLEARLY IN THE MODERN DAY AS 543 00:36:25,952 --> 00:36:31,725 THE GREATEST CHAMPION TO BE A PART OF WWE. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT 544 00:36:31,725 --> 00:36:33,526 >> AND FOR ME TO KIND OF, YOU KNOW, GET PAST THIS CHAPTER OF BROCK LESNAR, I THINK IT JUST 545 00:36:33,526 --> 00:36:41,868 PUTS ME ON A PLAYING FIELD, ON A LEVEL THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH, SO -- 546 00:36:41,868 --> 00:36:45,372 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 547 00:36:45,372 --> 00:36:48,441 I HAVE A FEELING NEXT TIME YOU COME ON THE SHOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TWO CHAMPIONSHIP BELTS 548 00:36:48,441 --> 00:36:53,246 ROMAN REIGNS, EVERYBODY. "WRESTLEMANIA 38" KICKS OFF SATURDAY NIGHT 549 00:36:53,246 --> 00:36:57,851 YOU CAN STREAM THE TWO-DAY EVENT ON PEACOCK WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A 550 00:36:57,851 --> 00:37:00,353 A PERFORMANCE FROM MIMI WEBB STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 551 00:37:00,353 --> 00:37:17,037 * >> Jimmy: MAKING HER LATE NIGHT DEBUT PERFORMING "HOUSE ON 552 00:37:17,037 --> 00:37:22,142 DEBUT PERFORMING "HOUSE ON FIRE," PLEASE WELCOME MIMI WEBB! 553 00:37:22,776 --> 00:37:25,679 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 554 00:37:25,679 --> 00:37:34,654 * * I MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE HEAD OF POLICE 555 00:37:34,654 --> 00:37:38,692 TO MAKE SURE HE' SUSPECT ME THE LEAST * * IF I'M CAUGHT 556 00:37:38,692 --> 00:37:44,064 I'LL BE OUT IN A WEE I GOT MY STORY STRAIGH DOWN TO A T * 557 00:37:44,064 --> 00:37:49,402 * OH I'D SA IT WASN'T ME HMM * 558 00:37:49,402 --> 00:37:54,074 * AND SURE WE DATED ONCE IN A WHIL BUT IF THERE WAS A MOTIVE * 559 00:37:54,074 --> 00:37:57,377 * IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR A TRIA I SAW YOU OU 560 00:37:57,377 --> 00:38:02,315 IT WAS ZERO DEGREES * * AND YOU HAD YOUR HAND RIGHT UNDER HER SLEEVE 561 00:38:02,315 --> 00:38:06,886 OH YOU SAID YO DON'T GET COLD YOU LIAR * * NOW I'MA SE 562 00:38:06,886 --> 00:38:11,691 YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * * RUNNING I'M RUNNING BACK TO YOUR PLACE 563 00:38:11,691 --> 00:38:16,296 WITH GAS AND A MATCH IT'LL GO UP IN FLAMES * * NOW I KNOW YOU'RE 564 00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:23,169 NOT AT HOME YOU LIAR NOW I'MA SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * 565 00:38:23,169 --> 00:38:26,673 * IF SOMEBODY GOES AN CALLS THE BRIGAD I'LL ALREADY B 566 00:38:26,673 --> 00:38:32,245 TOO FAR AWAY * * I BOUGHT A MAP AN I PLANNED THE ESCAPE 567 00:38:32,245 --> 00:38:36,182 I'LL DYE MY HAIR CHANGE MY NAME * * YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS 568 00:38:36,182 --> 00:38:40,887 FROM THE START WHEN YOU COULD'VE BEEN HONES YOU COULD'VE BEEN SMART * 569 00:38:40,887 --> 00:38:45,158 * WE MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED WE MIGHT HAVE KISSED BUT DARLING I'M SORR 570 00:38:45,158 --> 00:38:49,863 IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO CONVICT * * I SAW YOU OUT IT WAS ZERO DEGREE 571 00:38:49,863 --> 00:38:54,234 AND YOU HAD YOUR HANDS RIGHT UNDER HER SLEEVES * * OH YOU SAID YOU 572 00:38:54,234 --> 00:39:00,140 DON'T GET COLD YOU LIA NOW I'MA SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * 573 00:39:00,140 --> 00:39:04,177 * RUNNING I'M RUNNING BACK TO YOUR PLACE WITH GAS AND A MATCH 574 00:39:04,177 --> 00:39:08,314 IT'LL GO UP IN FLAMES * * NOW I KNOW YOU'RE NOT AT HOM 575 00:39:08,314 --> 00:39:13,353 YOU LIAR * * NOW I'MA SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * 576 00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:31,738 * * SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * * 577 00:39:31,738 --> 00:39:37,610 * * HOUSE ON FIRE NOW I'MA SET 578 00:39:37,610 --> 00:39:41,681 YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * * YOU CAN LOOK AROUND BUT YOU WON'T FIND HER 579 00:39:41,681 --> 00:39:46,052 SHE'LL BE OUTTA TOWN WITH THE GET AWAY DRIVER * * THAT'S THE WAY IT FEELS 580 00:39:46,052 --> 00:39:51,191 WHEN THE FLAMES GET HIGHER NOW I'MA SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE * 581 00:39:51,191 --> 00:39:57,197 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YES! 582 00:39:57,197 --> 00:40:02,769 MIMI WEBB! "HOUSE ON FIRE" IS OUT NOW WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY 583 00:40:02,769 --> 00:40:25,959 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 584 00:40:25,959 --> 00:40:30,230 >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO HASAN MINHAJ, ROMAN REIGNS, MIMI WEBB! 585 00:40:30,230 --> 00:40:33,199 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 586 00:40:33,199 --> 00:40:36,369 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 587 00:40:36,369 --> 00:40:39,406 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 588 00:40:39,406 --> 00:40:49,115 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *