>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ZOE KRAVITZ.
AL FRANKEN MUSICAL GUEST, SEBASTIAN YATRA AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 13 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, IT FEELS SO GOOD ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. HERE WE ARE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS WELL, GUYS, LAST NIGHT PRESIDENT BIDEN DELIVERED HIS
FIRST STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. BIDEN SPOKE FOR 62 MINUTES
WELL, ACTUALLY HE SPOKE FOR 10 WITH 52 MINUTES OF CLAPPING [ LAUGHTER ]
AMERICAN HAS CLEAN WATER TO DRINK AT HOME AND AT SCHOOL.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BIDEN'S SPEECH AIRED ON EVERY MAJOR TV NETWORK WHEN THEY HEARD, NETFLIX WAS
LIKE, "SEE, THIS IS WHY WE CAN CHARGE WHATEVER WE WANT. [ LAUGHTER ]
OF COURSE BIDEN KICKED OFF HIS SPEECH TALKING ABOUT THE WAR IN UKRAINE.
AND IN A RARE MOMENT OF BIPARTISANSHIP, BOTH PARTIES STOOD AND APPLAUDED.
YEP. DEMOCRATS CLAPPED PROUDLY WHILE REPUBLICANS WERE LIKE, "PLEASE
DON'T SHOW ME ON CAMERA. PLEASE DON'T SHOW ME ON CAMERA."
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, EVERYONE SEEMED TO BE IN SUPPORT OF BIDEN -- WELL,
ALMOST EVERYONE. THROUGHOUT HIS SPEECH REPRESENTATIVES
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE AND LAUREN BOEBERT WERE HECKLING BIDEN.
HERE THEY ARE, RIGHT HERE. YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
SO, LIKE THE QANON STATLER AND WALDORF. [ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK, I FEEL BAD FOR THE CONGRESSMAN STUCK IN BETWEEN THEM
LOOK AT THAT GUY [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S LIKE --
SERIOUSLY, YOU THINK THE MIDDLE SEAT ON SPIRIT AIRLINES IS BAD, YOU KNOW, THAT'S -
[ LAUGHTER ] AND EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THIS -
AT THE VERY END OF HIS SPEECH, BIDEN SAID SOMETHING THAT STOOD OUT TO PEOPLE.
CHECK THIS OUT
GOD PROTECT OUR TROOPS
THANK YOU, GO GET HIM! [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "GO" -- "GO GET HIM"
>> Steve: "GO GET HIM. >> Jimmy: "GO GET" -- NOT "GO GET 'EM.
"GO GET HIM. YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT AFTER PUTIN CALLED TRUMP AND WAS LIKE, "IS HE TALKING ABOUT ME
IS HE TALKING ABOUT ME OR WHAT IS "-- [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, CHUCK SCHUMER WAS THERE, AND HE TOOK HOME THE AWARD FOR MOST POORLY TIMED APPLAUSE
WATCH THIS
CUT PASSED IN THE PREVIOUS
ADMINISTRATION, THAT BENEFITTED THE TOP 1% OF AMERICANS, THE AMERICAN RESCUE PLAN -
[ AUDIENCE OOHS THE AMERICAN RESCUE PLAN HELPED WORKING PEOPLE AND LEFT NO ONE
BEHIND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE -- THE
MEDICAL TERM FOR THAT IS "PREMATURE OVATION." >> Steve: WHOA
HEY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND SPEAKER NANCY
PELOSI DIDN'T GO HOME EMPTY HANDED SHE WON THE AWARD FOR WEIRDEST
CLAP HERE IT IS [ APPLAUSE ]
>> MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THERE I'VE BEEN IN AND OUT OF IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN OVER 40 TIMES.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IS THERE A KNUCKLE RUB TIKTOK CHALLENGE THAT WE
DON'T KNOW ABOUT WHAT - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS SHAKING INVISIBLE MARACAS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS
DOING. * AND THIS IS GREAT, SUPREME
COURT JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER DEFINITELY WON THE AWARD FOR "GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE THE WAITERS
AT APPLEBEE'S ARE SINGING HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY." LOOK AT THIS
[ APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK
YOU. [ APPLAUSE ] I MEAN IT.
GET UP LET THEM SEE YOU THANK YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ RIM SHOT ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SWITCHING GEARS HERE
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HAS CANCELLED OPENING DAY AND SOME REGULAR SEASON GAMES, AFTER
OWNERS - [ AUDIENCE BOOS -- FAILED TO REACH A DEAL WITH
PLAYERS TO END THE LOCKOUT, YEAH IT'S TOUGH BECAUSE IT MEANS
THAT THERE'S ONLY 900 BASEBALL GAMES LEFT THIS SEASON [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THIS IS ROUGH NEWS FOR FANS, AND EVEN MORE DEVASTATING NEWS FOR THE TINY ICE CREAM
HELMET INDUSTRY. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GUYS LIKE THAT ONE
[ LAUGHTER ] LISTEN TO THIS, FITBIT IS RECALLING NEARLY 2 MILLION OF
ITS SMART WATCHES AFTER 118 PEOPLE REPORTED THAT THE BATTERIES GOT TOO HOT AND
BURNED THEM. >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: 118 PEOPLE
HOW'D IT GET TO THAT POINT WHERE THEY, LIKE, "MAYBE THE FIRST 117 ARE JUST A FLUKE."
[ LAUGHTER ] USUALLY THE ONLY TIME I GET BURNED BY MY FITBIT IS WHEN IT
TELLS ME I DIDN'T STAND UP ENOUGH [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, THIS IS GOING VIRAL. LAST NIGHT ON "WHEEL OF
FORTUNE," ONE CONTESTANT KEPT TRYING TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE WITH ONLY TWO LETTERS LEFT.
SEEMED PRETTY OBVIOUS, BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T QUITE GET IT WATCH THIS
>> I'LL SOLVE. >> OKAY.
>> "ANOTHER FEATHER IN YOUR HAT. [ BUZZER ]
I'LL SOLVE >> OKAY. "ANOTHER FEATHER IN YOUR LAP."
[ LAUGHTER ] [ BUZZER ] >> NO.
>> A "P" >> YES, THERE'S A "P." [ APPLAUSE ]
[ DING ] >> I WILL SOLVE. >> OKAY.
>> "ANOTHER FEATHER IN YOUR MAP" [ LAUGHTER ]
[ BUZZER ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT WAS PRETTY FUN
THOUGH, 'CAUSE DURING EACH GUEST WE ALL FELT LIKE CHUCK SCHUMER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
EVERYBODY.
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE
FOR YOU TONIGHT. SHE STARS IN THE BIGGEST MOVIE OUT THIS WEEKEND, "THE BATMAN.
ZOE KRAVITZ IS HERE TONIGHT. >> Steve: WOAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: GREAT. SHE'S FANTASTIC. PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM ON HIS
FIRST SOLO STANDUP COMEDY TOUR CALLED "THE ONLY FORMER U.S. SENATOR CURRENTLY ON TOUR
TOUR." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AL FRANKEN IS HERE TONIGHT
>> Steve: COME ON! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: AND WE'VE GOT GREAT
MUSIC FROM SEBASTIAN YATRA, RIGHT THERE. >> Steve: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I -- QUICKLY, TODAY'S A LITTLE ANNIVERSARY FOR US.
IT'S BEEN 13 YEARS AGO, WE -- WE STARTED LATE NIGHT. >> Steve: 13
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S A LONG -- 13? >> Jimmy: 13 YEARS AGO, YEAH
MARCH 2ND, SO YEAH >> Steve: SO, IT'S NOW A A TEENAGER
>> Jimmy: YEAH EXACTLY, YEAH. SO, 13 YEARS AGO WE ACTUALLY
MADE -- WE MADE A YEARBOOK [ AUDIENCE AWS ] BECAUSE WE WERE SO EXCITED JUST
TO BE ON THE AIR FOR A YEAR. WE DIDN'T THINK WE WOULD GO FURTHER THAN A YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, WE WERE SO EXCITED WE MADE A FAKE -- "LEARNING TO
FLY" WAS OUR THEME WHAT I LOVE -- I WAS LOOKING AT IT TODAY, JUST GOING -
2009, THE FIRST YEAR, WE DEDICATED TO -- TO WAYNE FEDDERMAN, WHO'S A GREAT
COMEDIAN, AND THEN -- YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THEN IF YOU GO DOWN HERE,
AND IT'S A REBUTTAL TO THE DEDICATION, 'CAUSE HE'S STILL ALIVE, AND SO WE JUST --
[ LAUGHTER ] AND HERE'S -- THIS IS ONE THING I KEPT TO HANGING ON MY OFFICE
WALL, JUST TO KEEP ME GROUNDED, 'CAUSE YOU GO -- YOU CAN'T GET A BIG HEAD IN THIS BUSINESS, NO
MATTER WHAT. YOU GET SO EXCITED, YOU GO, "OH, MY GOSH, I GOT LATE NIGHT
AND THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL. AND, YOU KNOW, I THANK CONAN O'BRIEN FOR KEEPING THE
SHOW ON THE AIR, BY THE WAY, 16 YEARS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
DAVID LETTERMAN. >> Steve: YEP. >> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE
I WOULDN'T HAVE A JOB IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE GUYS AND I WAS JUST SO EXCITED, I
GOT MY THING, AND I GET TO MY OFFICE, AND THIS IS HANGING IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE
CAN YOU SEE THIS I SPELLED MY NAME WRONG. >> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "JIMMY FALON." >> Jimmy: "JIMMY FALON."
>> Steve: "JIMMY FALON." "WHO'S THE NEW GUY?" >> Jimmy: YEAH, NBC IS LIKE,
"YEAH, YOU'LL GET THERE, ONE DAY, YEAH. I WAS LIKE, "DON'T TAKE IT OFF,
DON'T CHANGE THAT, I GOTTA SAVE THAT." SO, ANYWAY, THANKS TO EVERYONE
WHO WORKED ON THAT SHOW AND EVERYONE FOR WATCHING US FOR ALL THESE YEARS.
I APPRECIATE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: FUN TIMES.
HERE WE ARE. 13 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: GUYS, AS I SAID EARLIER, YESTERDAY WAS PRESIDENT BIDEN'S STATE OF THE
UNION ADDRESS. AND AFTER THE SPEECH I SAW A A LOT OF POLITICIANS REACTED
WITH STATEMENTS OF THEIR OWN LET'S TAKE A LOOK. IT'S TIME FOR "STATE OF THE
UNION REACTIONS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* STATE OF THE UNIO REACTIONS * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE
WHAT EVERYONE HAD TO SAY ABOUT BIDEN'S SPEECH FIRST UP, WE HAVE SENATOR
RICHARD BLUMENTHAL HE SAID, "I LOVE THE SPEECH, ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE
FOLDING MY ARMS NATURALLY. [ LAUGHTER ] UP NEXT WE HAVE SENATOR
MARK KELLY HE SAID, "I WASN'T THERE I SENT JEFF BEZOS IN MY PLACE,
AND NO ONE NOTICED." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S UNFORTUNATE >> Steve: WHY? >> Jimmy: NEXT WE HAVE
CONGRESSMAN RICK CRAWFORD. HE SAID, "I GOT THERE AS SOON AS I COULD LEAVE MY SECOND JOB
SINGING TO CUSTOMERS AT COLD STONE CREAMERY." [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: "I USED TO CALL HER DANNY --" >> Jimmy: HERE'S SENATOR TOMMY TUBERVILLE
AFTER BIDEN'S SPEECH, HE SAID, "I WAS DISTRACTED. I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW MY
NAME WOULD BE PERFECT FOR A WATER PARK MASCOT. [ LAUGHTER ]
"KIDS, YOU WANT TO GET A A PHOTO? >> Steve: "RIGHT
LET'S GO DOWN TO TUBERVILLE. [ LAUGHTER ] UP NEXT WE HAVE CONGRESSMAN
EARL BLUMENAUER. HE SAID, "I WAS TOO BUSY TRIMMING MY BANGS.
BANGS ARE COMING BACK. BANGS AND BOWTIES, BABY -- B.B.B.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: FINALLY WE HAVE
CONGRESSMAN AUGUST PFLUGER "HE SAID I PFLOUGHT IT PFLASN'T PFLERY PFLOOD.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY STICK AROUND AFTER THE BREAK
WE'RE PLAYING "CAN YOU FEEL IT" WITH ZOE KRAVITZ COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> OH NO
RIGHT, YOU'LL BE FINE. >> Jimmy: AHH!
EVERYBODY. IT IS TIME TO PLAY "CAN YOU FEEL IT?
* CAN YOU FEEL IT *
>> Jimmy: AND I AM GOING TO NEED SOME HELP SHE STARS IN THE GIANT NEW
MOVIE "THE BATMAN" IN THEATERS AND IMAX THIS FRIDAY PLEASE WELCOME ZOE KRAVITZ
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I'M SCARED.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S A STANDING O FOR YOU,
BUD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT, ZOE KRAVITZ.
ALL RIGHT. ZOE, HERE'S HOW -- HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NUMBER OF MYSTERY OBJECTS BROUGHT OUT IN FRONT OF US.
AND OUR JOB IS TO GUESS WHAT IS - EACH ONE IS.
THE CATCH IS WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT BY TOUCH ALONE SINCE YOU'RE OUR GUEST, WHY
DON'T YOU GO FIRST >> GREAT [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S SEE WHAT YOUR FIRST OBJECT IS. YOU'LL HAVE 30 SECONDS TO
IDENTIFY WHAT THIS IS. ALL RIGHT. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
>> HEY, NOW, HEY [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS ]
OH, GOD. OKAY CAN I ASK SOME QUESTIONS
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> IS IT ALIVE >> Jimmy: NO
>> STOP IT YOU ARE -- YOU ARE SCARING ME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, IT'S SILLY >> I'M SO SCARED [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S NOTHING IT'S FAKE DOG POOP >> EWW
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO >> I REALLY CAN'T.
>> Jimmy: NO, I AM UP HERE HERE WE GO [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, GOD OH, NO YOU'LL BE FINE
RIGHT? YOU'LL BE FINE >> Jimmy: I'M JUST GOING TO
SWITCH THE BOXES UP! >> WHO PICKS THIS? THIS IS CRAZY.
>> Jimmy: NO, THIS IS ALL CRAZY. [ SCREAMING
I HATE THIS GAME I HATE IT! I TOUCHED THIS
WHATEVER IT WAS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. >> OH, NO.
>> Jimmy: OH, DON'T SAY THAT TO ME DON'T SAY THAT TO ME
>> I'M SORRY NO, YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE SOMETHING -- >> OH, GOD
OH I'M SCARED FOR YOU [ SCREAMING
>> Jimmy: IT'S WET IT'S WET IT'S SO WET, IT'S DISGUSTING
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S STILL GROSS I'M GOING TO THROW UP.
I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO THROW UP AND GET SICK IT'S COLD AND IT'S WET AND
SOMETHING LICKED ME BABY IS IT A CAT? I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW CAN I GO OVER ON THIS SIDE >> YES
[ SCREAMING >> Jimmy: SOMETHING ELSE LICKED ME
THIS IS SO WEIRD I HATE THIS GAME CAN I TOUCH IT
[ SCREAMING I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS! I CAN'T DO IT!
WHAT IS IT [ BUZZER ] >> IT'S POPSICLES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS
LICKING ME IT FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS MOVING AND LICKING ME.
IT WAS SO GROSS. >> IT'S CRAZY WHAT OUR MINDS DO
>> Jimmy: RIGHT? ALSO, YOU DIDN'T HELP EITHER GOING "OH, NO.
>> I KNOW, I'M SORRY ISN'T THAT THE GAME? >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS.
ZOE, HERE YOU GO >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: GOOD LUCK.
>> THANKS. JIMMY. [ AUDIENCE OHs ]
[ SCREAMING I'M BRAVE. I'M COOL AND I'M BRAVE
>> Jimmy: RIGHT? >> AND I'M COOL. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN DO IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ SCREAMING >> I TOUCHED IT.
WHAT IS IT I HAVE NO -- WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: NO, JUST TRY IT
AGAIN, TRY IT AGAIN. OH, NO >> STOP IT
A TURTLE >> Jimmy: NO BUT NOT BAD?
>> REALLY? >> Jimmy: IT'S A HONEYCOMB WITH A FAKE BEE.
A HONEYCOMB. >> OH. [ CHEERS ]
THAT'S NOT A TURTLE. >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT A A TURTLE
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG YOU WANT TO ACT HOW MANY MORE BOXES DO WE HAVE
BECAUSE I'M FREAKING OUT ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
>> OH, WHAT IS -- WHAT IS THAT [ AUDIENCE OHs ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
>> Jimmy: WELL, I KNOW WHAT THAT IS. AND THAT'S THE SOUND OF
EVERYONE GOING - [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT'S THE SOUND OF US NOT
KNOWING WHAT IT IS >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT I -- OH, I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE CLOSE, YOU'RE CLOSE, YOU'RE CLOSE OH
YOU'RE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH THAT YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFY
WITH IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH I HAVE NO IDEA
IS THAT A TURTLE IS IT A TURTLE [ BUZZER ]
WHAT IF WE KEEP GUESSING TURTLE >> IT'S ONLY TURTLES
[ SCREAMING >> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT
>> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: WHAT -- IS IT? [ SCREAMING
WHAT WAS THAT? >> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT
WHAT IS THAT WHY WOULD I TOUCH THAT >> IS THAT A CLAM?
>> Jimmy: IS THAT A CLAM >> YES >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD DARN IT
GET IT ABSOLUTELY OUT OF HERE. ALL RIGHT. ZOE, IT'S OUR LAST ROUND
FINAL ROUND. NOW, FOR THIS ONE -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
-- WE'RE BOTH GOING TO GET THE SAME BOX, OKAY WE'RE BOTH GOING TO PUT OUR
HANDS IN, OKAY AND THEN WE'LL HAVE TO GUESS WHAT IT IS
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, NO. >> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU, BUD.
>> I DON'T WANT TO >> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU - >> I DON'T WANT TO
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO I'M GOING TO GO --
I WANT TO GO THIS WAY. >> THIS WAY? >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT MOVED >> IT'S RUBBER
>> Jimmy: IT MOVED, IT MOVED >> YOU -- IT'S RUBBER. >> Jimmy: DID I TOUCH YOU?
>> THAT WAS -- WAS THAT YOU? >> Jimmy: DID I TOUCH YOUR HAND
IF WE KEEP GOING -- OH STOP >> IT'S RUBBER
IT'S RUBBER! >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S -- IT'S A A BATMAN MASK.
>> OH, IT'S MOVING OH, MY GOD >> Jimmy: THERE'S SOMEONE IN
THERE. >> OH, MY GOD THERE'S A HUMAN BEING IN THERE
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> THERE'S A HUMAN BEING HE'S A GROWN MAN
>> Jimmy: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. GET OUT OF HERE.
>> NO. >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO ZOE KRAVITZ.
>> NO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I'M SO SORRY
WE'RE TALKING TO ZOE AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WAIT, SO YOU DO THE SCREEN TEST. YOU WALK IN.
HE'S DRESSED AS BATMAN >> YEAH, ONLY FROM THE WAIST UP, BY THE WAY
HE WAS WEARING - [ LAUGHTER ] HE WAS WEARING SWEATPANTS AT
THE BOTTOM >> Jimmy; OH MY GOSH YOU'VE SEEN STUFF THAT NO ONE'S
EVER SEEN. BATMAN WEARING SWEATPANTS AND --
>> LIKE CASUAL -- CAUSAL BATMAN >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS STARRING IN THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED NEW MOVIE, "THE
BATMAN," WHICH IS IN THEATERS AND IMAX THIS FRIDAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME ZOE KRAVITZ.
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: ANOTHER STANDING OVATION. >> YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME.
YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE. >> Jimmy: TWO STANDING O's FOR YOU.
WE LOVE YOU THAT MUCH. >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO OUR
SHOW >> I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR ALWAYS
COMING ON. YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU HERE. MAN, YOU'RE PHENOMENAL IN "THE
BATMAN." >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET IN AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I'M JUST SO HAPPY, I'M LIKE, "GO, ZOE GO."
YOU JUST CRUSH IT. BUT I ALSO -- IT'S A BIG -- THAT'S THIS WEEKEND.
IT'S GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST MOVIE. I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.
THEN NEXT WEEKEND, YOU'RE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." >> UH-HUH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU -- WHY
WOULD YOU PUT THIS MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF >> I -- I DON'T KNOW
THIS WAS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLAN >> Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE THEN
YOU CAN ONLY ENJOY THAT FOR A WEEK BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT TO GET RIGHT INTO -- IT'S A LOT
WORK >> I'M SO SCARED AND SO EXCITED.
I KEEP ON ASKING, LIKE, FRIENDS OF MINE WHO HAVE HOSTED. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I'M ASKING FOR SOME COMFORT OR SOMETHING >> Jimmy: YES.
>> AND I TELL THEM I'M SCARED. AND THEY ALL SAY, "YOU SHOULD BE SCARED.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD NO, NO, NO
NO >> NOT ONE PERSON HAS -- HAS SAID, LIKE, "JUST RELAX.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. >> Jimmy: OH I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT
NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SO FINE I THINK YOU'RE JUST A NATURAL.
EVERY TIME YOU'VE COME ON THE SHOW, YOU JUST STEAL THE WHOLE SHOW
WE ALL LOVE YOU. >> AW, YOU'RE VERY SWEET >> Jimmy: BUT YOU WERE -- BUT
YOU ARE -- HONESTLY, THIS THING JUST, KIND OF, WENT AROUND RECENTLY, FOOTAGE THAT --
>> OH, BOY >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S -- NO, IT'S GREAT
>> IT'S CUTE >> Jimmy: IT'S CUTE. >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S YOU AS A CHILD. >> BEING A HAM >> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT YOU WERE
BEING A HAM -- WHERE WERE YOU AT A VH1 THING OR SOMETHING? >> YEAH, MY DAD, I THINK, WAS
DOING AN INTERVIEW FOR VH1 AND I THINK HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "IT'S MY
TURN." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND YOU WERE -- YOU
WERE 7-YEARS-OLD >> SOMETHING LIKE THAT >> Jimmy: AND THEY WERE LIKE,
"HEY, WHILE YOUR DAD'S AWAY -- BECAUSE'S THERE'S -- DO YOU WANT DO --
>> THEY'RE LIKE, "LOOK AT THIS CHILD? >> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY WERE LIKE,
"CAN YOU SING SOMETHING? AND YOU JUST HOPPED UP AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M GOING TO DO
'NO SCRUBS.' THIS WAS REAL. CHECK THIS OUT
HERE'S BABY ZOE KRAVITZ.
* A SCRUB IS A GUY THAT
CAN'T GET NO LOVE FROM ME * * HANGING OUT THE PASSENGER SIDE OF HI
BEST FRIEND'S RIDE * * TRYING TO HOLLER AT ME * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> AM I ON TV? >> "AM I ON TV WHY AM I WEARING A TIARA
>> Jimmy: WHY WERE YOU - >> I DON'T KNOW. >> Jimmy: BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST
A CUTE -- "AM I ON TV? >> "AM I ON TV?" >> Jimmy: THE CUTEST KID EVER.
COME ON. LET'S TALK ABOUT "THE BATMAN" BECAUSE LAST TIME, I THINK, YOU
WERE HERE, YOU WERE FILMING AND -- YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF FILMING
YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING, OBVIOUSLY, NO SPOILERS >> YEP
>> Jimmy: BUT THIS IS TWO YEARS IN THE MAKING. >> YEAH, I GOT THE JOB IN 2019
>> Jimmy: WOWSERS. >> AND THEN WE GOT DOWN FOR SIX MONTHS BECAUSE OF COVID.
AND, YEAH, IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> IT'S BEEN WILD. >> Jimmy: AND DID YOU -- THEY -- DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU
WERE GOING TO BE UP FOR -- FOR CATWOMAN DID YOU -- HOW DID THIS COME
ABOUT? >> NO. >> Jimmy: DID YOU PUSH FOR IT
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I GOT TO DO THIS?" >> NO.
I -- I GOT A PHONE CALL. MY AGENT TOLD ME THAT I WAS ON THE LIST OF ACTORS THEY WERE
LOOKING AT AND EVEN THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH
TO BE ON THAT LIST WAS PRETTY WILD AND THEN I FLEW OUT TO L.A. TO
MEET MATT REEVES, THE DIRECTOR AND LOVED HIM. AND JUST LOVED HIS VISION.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS HE? >> HE'S A WONDERFUL HUMAN, WONDERFUL DIRECTOR, CARES SO
MUCH HE -- HE WROTE THE SCRIPT AS WELL
SO, I WAS JUST -- I JUST WANTED TO WORK WITH HIM >> Jimmy: AND DID YOU KNOW
ROBERT PATTINSON BEFORE? >> I KNEW ROB. I KNEW ROB JUST FROM, I DON'T
KNOW, AROUND >> Jimmy: AROUND >> YEAH, AROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT I HAD NEVER WORKED WITH
HIM. AND I'M A HUGE FAN OF HIS WORK AND I HAD TO CAMERA TEST WITH
HIM AND THAT WAS, KIND OF, FUNNY. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> JUST TO CAMERA TEST WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW DRESSED UP AS BATMAN AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
THEM IN AWHILE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE WAS DRESSED -- HE
WAS DRESSED AS BATMAN? >> YEAH, THEY PUT HIM, AND I THINK, IN GEORGE CLOONEY'S
SUIT BUT THEN YOU, KIND OF, CATCH UP
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LIKE, "SO HOW YOU BEEN?" YOU KNOW
AND -- >> Jimmy: HE'S LIKE, "I'M ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH." >> YEAH, YEAH. "I'M BATMAN.
>> Jimmy: "I MEAN, I'M BATMAN, I GUESS. YEAH, YEAH."
IT'S WILD. BUT, WAIT, SO YOU DO THE SCREEN TEST
YOU WALK IN, HE'S DRESSED AS BATMAN >> YEP
ONLY FROM THE WAIST UP, BY THE WAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS WEARING -- HE WAS WEARING SWEATPANTS ON THE BOTTOM
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'VE SEEN SOMETHING NO ONE
HAS EVER SEEN. BATMAN WEARING SWEATPANTS. >> LIKE, "CASUAL -- CASUAL
BATMAN." >> Jimmy: "CASUAL BATMAN," THAT'S THE SEQUEL.
OH, YEAH >> YEAH, FOR SURE. >> Jimmy: WAIT, SO YOU GO IN,
YOU GO, "OH, MY GOSH." THAT'S -- I MEAN, THAT'S ACTING RIGHT THERE.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GO IN THERE AND BE LIKE, "HEY, LET'S JUST GO FOR IT.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: "BECAUSE I KNOW YOU AND NOW YOU'RE BATMAN.
>> LIKE, HE WAS SO GOOD THAT I ACTUALLY -- I WAS SO SCARED THAT I WAS JUST GOING TO BE
THINKING, "OH, MY GOD, IT'S ROB DRESSED AS BATMAN. THAT'S WEIRD."
BUT HE WAS SO WONDERFUL THAT I'VE TOTALLY FORGOT IT WAS HIM, ACTUALLY, WHICH WAS REALLY
IMPRESSIVE >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE, HONESTLY, IS AMAZING
BUT YOU'RE AMAZING AS WELL IN THIS IT JUST ALL WORKS.
AND I -- YOU JUST GO INTO THIS WORLD AND YOU FORGET WHO -- THAT YOU KNOW ANYONE
I'M LIKE, "OH, THESE ARE JUST GREAT ACTORS AND THAT -- >> OH, I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR
THAT >> Jimmy: OH, I LOVED IT AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, NOW, IF
I WAS CASS' CATWOMAN -- >> WHICH YOU MIGHT -- WHICH YOU STILL MIGHT BE
>> Jimmy: I WAS ON THE LIST. >> YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, JIMMY >> Jimmy: MY AGENT CALLED ME AS
WELL [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS SO NERVOUS
I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. DON'T GET ME IN THE ROOM WITH ROB.
[ LAUGHTER ] "BECAUSE I'M WEARING SWEATPANTS AS WELL.
BUT I WOULD STUDY -- I WOULD STUDY CATS >> I DID THAT.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD -- I WOULD DRINK MILK OUT OF A BOWL [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DID THAT. >> Jimmy: YOU DID NOT. >> I DID
>> Jimmy: YOU DRANK MILK OUT OF A BOWL >> MAYBE
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M METHOD, DUDE [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ME TOO YEAH, DUDE, I'M SO INTO IT I DO LIKE CATS BECAUSE THEY'RE
CURIOUS. I FIND THEM INTERESTING. I FEEL LIKE THEY COULD KILL ME
ANY TWO SECONDS. >> THAT'S -- I WAS REALLY INSPIRED BY THAT
I WATCHED A BUNCH OF CAT VIDEOS, FELINE VIDEOS, WATCHING THEM FIGHT
AND WHAT I WAS SO INTERESTED BY WAS THE FACT THAT YOU CAN -- YOU CAN'T READ THEIR FACE AT
ALL, WHICH IS WHY I THINK PEOPLE ARE, KIND OF, CREEPED OUT BY THEM.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO.
>> Jimmy: THEY GO, "OH, MY GOSH, KITTY LOVES ME." >> YEAH, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
KITTY SCRATCHES YOUR FACE OUT. >> Jimmy: KITTY SCRATCHES YOUR FACE OUT
YEAH, AND I'D BE LIKE, "GET OFF. LIKE -- AND THEN "LEAVE.
>> YEAH. >> THEY DON'T CARE >> Jimmy: NO, THEY DON'T --
>> THEY DON'T CARE THEY WERE -- THEY WERE THE HARDEST THING TO CONTROL DURING
THE SHOOTING WE WERE DOING, LIKE, CRAZY STUNTS AND, LIKE, ALL THAT WAS
FINE BUT THEN, LIKE, GETTING A CAT TO STAY IN ONE PLACE,
IMPOSSIBLE >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO -- THERE'S NO ACTOR CATS.
>> NO. WE -- I -- THEY TRIED TO GET ME TO KNOW THE CATS THAT WERE
SELINA'S CATS. AND IT'S FUNNY THEY WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW,
"TRAINING AT 1:30 AND THEN REHEARSAL AT THIS TIME AND THEN CAT TIME."
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT'S CAT TIME?" [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IT WAS JUST PUTTING ME IN A ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF CATS, WITH THE CATS THAT WERE GOING
TO BE MY CATS. >> Jimmy: YEAH, THINKING THAT IT MIGHT HELP.
>> BUT THE CATS DIDN'T CARE. >> Jimmy: NO, THEY'RE CATS >> I WAS JUST SITTING HERE AND
THE CATS WOULD JUST WALK AWAY. IT DID NOTHING IT DID NOTHING FOR EVERYONE.
>> Jimmy: THEY DID -- WELL, THEY DID GREAT IN THE MOVIE. IF THE CATS ARE WATCHING, YOU
DID A GREAT JOB. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHEN WE COME BACK, I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP FROM "THE
BATMAN." MORE WITH ZOE KRAVITZ AFTER THE BREAK, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK
WE ARE HERE WITH ZOE KRAVITZ, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT "THE BATMAN." "THE BATMAN'S" OUT THIS
WEEKEND. FANDOM IS HUGE HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WITH AN
AUDIENCE YET >> I WATCHED IT LAST NIGHT WITH AN ACTUAL AUDIENCE --
>> Jimmy: YOU DID. >> AT THE PREMIERE, WHICH IS WHY I'M SO HUNGOVER RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I MEAN -- IS IT -- IT MUST HAVE BEEN SO EXCITING
>> IT'S AMAZING. I MEAN, IT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING YOU WANT TO WATCH ON
A BIG SCREEN >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO WATCH WITH PEOPLE. BUT IT'S A VERY -- IT'S AN INTENSE FILM
AND I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WALK IN GOING LIKE, "WHOO, BATMAN!"
AND THEN ME LIKE, "WHOA, BATMAN." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH NOW HOW DO WE SET UP "THE BATMAN" FOR ANYONE WHO JUST --
YOU GOING IN COLD TURKEY >> OH, MAN OKAY, SO, THIS IS A DETECTIVE
STORY. WE'RE IN YEAR TWO OF BATMAN BEING BATMAN, SO IT'S NOT QUITE
AN ORIGIN STORY BUT IT'S STILL THE BEGINNING. GOTHAM IS --
>> Jimmy: SO THE PUBLIC DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHO IS THE BATMAN? >> YEAH, AND THE COPS ARE LIKE,
"WHO IS THIS GUY?" >> Jimmy: "DO WE TRUST THIS GUY?
>> YEAH, YEAH. AND THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER IN GOTHAM AND HE, KIND OF, HAS
TO -- YOU KNOW, HE FOLLOWS THE -- THE CLUES AND FIGURES OUT WHO IS -- WHAT'S GOING ON.
AND THE CLUES LEAD HIM TO A NIGHT CLUB WHERE I WORK. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH, AND -- >> Jimmy: MAN, IT'S ACTION IT'S ROMANCE
IT'S -- THERE'S JOKES IN THERE IT'S JUST -- IT'S JUST GREAT MUSIC.
IT'S JUST -- >> THE MUSIC IS AMAZING. >> Jimmy: IT'S DARK, IT'S COOL
IT'S AWESOME IT'S JUST -- YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE IT
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ZOE KRAVITZ AND ROBERT PATTINSON IN "THE
BATMAN." TAKE A LOOK.
>> YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT THAT. * *
>> HEY, GIMMIE THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WOO! ZOE KRAVITZ, EVERYBODY "THE BATMAN" IS IN THEATERS AND
IMAX THIS FRIDAY AL FRANKEN JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND CONGRATS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FIVE-TIME EMMY WINNER, A
A FOUR-TIME NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, AND A FORMER
U.S. SENATOR HE'S NOW ON HIS NATIONWIDE "THE ONLY FORMER U.S. SENATOR
CURRENTLY ON TOUR" TOUR. PLEASE WELCOME AL FRANKEN.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." THANK YOU FOR COMING ON.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.
AS A FORMER SENATOR, I WAS WONDERING WHAT ARE YOUR TAKE AWAYS FROM THE STATE OF THE
UNION LAST NIGHT >> WELL, I THOUGHT BIDEN WAS ESPECIALLY GOOD ON UKRAINE
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> HE'S PUT TOGETHER THIS AMAZING COALITION OF NATIONS TO
STAND UP TO PUTIN. AND HE ACTUALLY BROUGHT TOGETHER REPUBLICANS AND
DEMOCRATS LAST NIGHT THEY WERE STANDING, YOU KNOW IT WAS REALLY HEARTENING TO SEE
REPUBLICANS STANDING WHEN HE CALLED PUTIN A MENACING DICTATOR, ESPECIALLY WHEN A FEW
DAYS EARLIER TRUMP HAD CALLED PUTIN A GENIUS AND -- SO, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY
THE SITUATION THERE IS REALLY DIRE, AND YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE CREDIT TO THE PEOPLE OF
UKRAINE. OUR HEARTS - >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY
>> -- ARE WITH THEM. AND THE UNBELIEVABLE LEADERSHIP FROM THEIR PRESIDENT, FROM
ZELENSKYY -- WHO IS INCREDIBLY BRAVE. YOU KNOW, HE WAS A COMEDIAN.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH. AND AS YOU KNOW, COMEDIANS ARE
THE BRAVEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE. >> ESPECIALLY JEWISH COMEDIANS WHO WENT INTO POLITICS
>> Jimmy: WOW, YEAH. >> THAT'S ZELENSKYY. BUT ANYWAY -
>> Jimmy: BUT ANYWAYS, BACK TO ME [ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT WAS REALLY PALPABLE LAST NIGHT IN THE CHAMBER, I THOUGHT, THE EMOTION ABOUT
UKRAINE. >> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN TO A A NUMBER OF STATE OF THE UNION
ADDRESSES. WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN THE CHAMBER?
I MEAN, IS IT KIND OF -- >> WELL, IT'S AMAZING. I FIRST ONE I DID --
WENT TO WAS BARACK OBAMA AND IT'S JUST SO MOVING. I JUST -- TO BE PART OF THIS
DEMOCRATIC -- DEMOCRACY, IT'S JUST UNBELIEVABLY MOVING >> Jimmy: IT MAKES YOU PROUD,
YEAH, TO BE AN AMERICAN. AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE DURING WHEN TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT
[ LAUGHTER ] UM - >> Jimmy: TAKE YOUR TIME
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, NOT SO MOVING [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. >> YOU KNOW, THE FIRST TIME HE SPOKE TO THE JOINT SESSION, WE
HAVE A -- WE HAD A CAUCUS LUNCH. I MEAN, THE DEMOCRATIC SENATORS
MEET FOR LUNCH AND A COUPLE OF MY COLLEAGUES WERE SAYING LIKE, "DO WE REALLY
HAVE TO STAND UP AND APPLAUD WHEN HE SAYS SOMETHING, LIKE, YOU KNOW, HACKNEYED LIKE,
'UNDER DONALD TRUMP, AMERICA WILL BE THE STRONGEST NATION IN THE WORLD.
DO WE HAVE TO STAND UP?" AND CHUCK SCHUMER GOES, "YES, WE'VE GOT TO BE -- WE'VE GOT TO
BE POLITE. AND SO - [ LAUGHTER ]
AND, WE DIDN'T LIKE IT AND I SAID, WELL, "YOU KNOW, WE COULD STAND UP AND APPLAUD
WE COULD DO THE SLOW SARCASTIC CLAP." AND YOU KNOW THAT AS A
A COMEDIAN AND -- BUT NONE OF MY OTHER COLLEAGUES ARE COMEDIANS, YOU
SEE. AND SO, I HAD TO SHOW THEM WHAT IT WAS
AND IT'S BASICALLY, YOU KNOW, THIS TRUMP SAYS, "UNDER TRUMP, EVERY
AMERICAN WILL BE ABLE TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE, ROOF OVER THEIR KIDS' HEAD
AND SEND THEM TO COLLEGE." AND THEN IT'S JUST LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SO NONE OF MY COLLEAGUES WANTED TO DO IT. BUT CHUCK SAID, "NO, WE CAN'T.
WE'VE GOT TO BE POLITE." >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT TO BE POLITE
BUT BEFORE YOU GOT ELECTED SENATOR, YOU HAD AN AMAZING COMEDY CAREER.
YOU BECOME A SENATOR, DO YOU FEEL ANY PRESSURE NOT TO BE FUNNY?
>> YEAH! YOU KNOW, I WON BY 312 VOTES IN MY FIRST ELECTION AND I GOT
THERE LATE AND MY TEAM SAID TO ME, "DON'T BE FUNNY
DO NOT BE FUNNY. DON'T BE FUNNY ON THE FLOOR, IN A FLOOR SPEECH
DON'T BE FUNNY IN HEARINGS DON'T BE FUNNY TO THE PRESS. I SAID, "I GOT IT.
DON'T BE FUNNY." THEY SAID, "DON'T BE FUNNY." BUT I REALLY DIDN'T INTERNALIZE
IT [ LAUGHTER ] SO, THE FIRST DAY I'M THERE, I
GET SWORN IN I GO RIGHT TO MY NEW OFFICE. I HADN'T BEEN THERE.
I GET THIS SLIP OF PAPER ON MY DESK, AND I LEARNED THAT ONE OF MY DUTIES IS TO WRITE
CONGRATULATORY NOTES TO MY CONSTITUENTS AND THE FIRST ONE IS
RUTH ANDERSON OF MARSHALL, MINNESOTA, WHO'S TURNING 110 >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> SO, I GET MY OFFICIAL STATIONERY I WRITE DOWN, "DEAR RUTH, YOU
HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
>> I THOUGHT SO. AND SO, MY NEW ASSISTANT PICKS IT UP AND TAKES IT TO MY NEW
CHIEF OF STAFF AND HE'S IN LIKE A TWO SACK, "WHAT IS THIS?
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> I SAID, "IT'S A JOKE. AND HE GOES, "UH-HUH
YOU THINK RUTH ANDERSON WILL FIND IT FUNNY? I SAID, "WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
SHE'S 110. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> HE SAID, "WELL, YOU THINK
HER FAMILY WILL FIND IT FUNNY? I WENT, "OH, YEAH, AND I STARTED THINKING ABOUT HER
90-YEAR OLD SON. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE MIGHT BE
BUMMED OUT, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> "YOU'VE GOT A BRIGHT
FUTURE," WELL, THAT'S KIND OF MEAN BUT IT'S FUNNY
>> Jimmy: AND YOU -- YOU'VE DONE STANDUP YOU'VE DONE TOURS I KNOW WITH
TOM DAVIS. >> YEP >> Jimmy: IS THIS YOUR FIRST
SOLO COMEDY -- >> IT'S MY FIRST TIME DOING IT SOLO
I STARTED -- I LOVE STANDUP. YOU KNOW -- YOU'RE A GREAT STANDUP.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE STANDUP >> AND HOW MUCH FUN IT IS. SO I WORKED UP A -- I'M GREAT.
IT'S REALLY HILARIOUS. [ LAUGHTER ] I DID 15 CITIES IN THE FALL,
AND I WAS BOOKED FOR 16 MORE I'M GOING TO PORTLAND, MAINE, THIS SUNDAY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. AND ALSO, ARE YOU ENJOYING THE
PODCAST? >> I LOVE DOING THE PODCAST. THE PODCAST IS REALLY PUBLIC
POLICY, POLITICS BUT ALSO COMEDY SO, WE'VE HAD GUESTS LIKE
STEVEN SCHMIDT, ANTHONY FAUCI, SARAH SILVERMAN, CONAN O'BRIEN, MICHELLE OBAMA -
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> WELL, NOT MICHELLE OBAMA BUT GUESTS LIKE HER.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: CAN YOU SAY THAT IN YOUR PROMO
GUESTS LIKE MICHELLE - >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE.
>> THAT'S LIGHT. >> Jimmy: IT'S VERY GOOD IT'S INFORMATIVE
BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT'S FUNNY. YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T NOT BE FUNNY.
I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE ON THE SHOW, AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST OF THE TOUR
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU EVERYBODY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AL FRANKEN, EVERYBODY. GO SEE AL ON TOUR.
GO TO ALFRANKEN.COM FOR TICKETS. SEBASTIAN YATRA PERFORMS AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "TACONES ROJOS" FROM HIS
MULTIPLATINUM NEW ALBUM, "DHARMA," PLEASE WELCOME SEBASTIAN YATRA!
* [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
* *
[ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE *
[ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
* * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
*
[ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: COME ON NOW!
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, BUD, COME ON >> THANK YOU SO MUCH
>> Jimmy: SEBASTIAN YATRA! >> THANK YOU, GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: TICKETS FOR HIS "DHARMA" WORLD TOUR ARE ON SALE NOW.
MY THANKS TO ZOE KRAVITZ, AL FRANKEN, SEBASTIAN YATRA ONCE AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE