Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ALICIA KEYS,
ZOEY DEUTCH, MUSICAL GUEST, EARTHGANG AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1610 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, WOW.
WOW. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYONE. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, EARLIER TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN MADE A MAJOR
ANNOUNCEMENT THAT HE IS BANNING U.S. IMPORTS OF RUSSIAN OIL, DEALING ANOTHER HUGE BLOW TO
RUSSIA'S ECONOMY YEAH, THIS IS DEVASTATING FOR RUSSIA
NOW THEIR BIGGEST EXPORT IS BAD GUYS AND "JOHN WICK" MOVIES. [ LAUGHTER ]
"YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS JOHN WICK." OF COURSE, WE'VE GOT TO GET OIL
FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE, WHICH IS WHAT -- TODAY, BIDEN LOOKED AT RUDY GIULIANI AND WAS LIKE,
"LET'S GET YOU IN THE SAUNA, BUDDY. LET'S GO."
[ LAUGHTER ] "GET YOU ON THE TREADMILL, PAL.
THAT'S RIGHT GAS PRICES WERE ALREADY ON THE RISE AND WITH THE DECISION TO
BAN RUSSIAN OIL TO HIGHER THAN EVER BEFORE. GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH, THE
INDY 500 WAS CHANGED TO THE "INDY 5. [ LAUGHTER ]
GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH, THIS MORNING, PARENTS ARE LIKE, "KIDS, WE'RE AMISH NOW
LET'S GET IN THE BUGGY WE ARE TAKING THE HORSE TO SCHOOL."
GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH, AMERICANS ARE JUST FILLING THEIR CARS WITH RED BULL AND
HOPING FOR THE BEST. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL LISTEN TO THIS, ACCORDING
TO A NEW POLL, 70% OF AMERICANS SUPPORT A BAN ON RUSSIAN OIL, EVEN IF IT MEANS HIGHER GAS
PRICES YEAH THEN NETFLIX WAS LIKE, "WE ARE
ALSO RISING OUR PRICES TO HELP UKRAINE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"WE ARE GOING TO HELP UKRAINE. MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER BLOW TO THEIR ECONOMY, TODAY,
McDONALD'S ANNOUNCED THAT IT WAS CLOSING ALL 850 OF ITS RESTAURANTS IN RUSSIA.
YEAH, WE DON'T WANT THEIR OIL AND THEY CAN'T HAVE OUR GREASE [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. Jimmy: NOT TO IT BE OUTDONE, ARBY'S ANNOUNCED THAT THEY ARE
PUNISHING RUSSIA BY STAYING OPEN Steve: REALLY
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH YEAH, THEY'RE OPEN 24-7.
YEAH Questlove: "WE HAVE THE MEATS.
Jimmy: YEAH, McDONALD'S - McDONALD'S AND RUSSIA IS A A LITTLE STRANGE
IT'S THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT SELLS "UNHAPPY MEALS." [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, GOSH YEAH JUST GIVE ME THE CARD, YEAH.
CAN I SIGN IT? * "HERE YOU GO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY ABOUT
IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS IS TERRIBLE
I HAD TO DO THAT JOKE. NICE I HAD TO DO THAT JOKE.
SORRY. "UNHAPPY MEALS." Steve: NICE
COME ON. Jimmy: I APOLOGIZE EVERYONE [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS, APPARENTLY TO OFFSET RISING COSTS, TOILET PAPER BRANDS ARE
CUTTING BACK ON THE SIZE OF THEIR ROLLS. YEAH
WHETHER IT'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC OR A WAR, THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE IT ABOUT THEM
[ LAUGHTER ] ALWAYS ABOUT TOILET PAPER. YEAH, IT'S NOT GOOD.
TODAY, AT CVS, I SAW A PACKAGE OF CHARMIN "JUST TUBES." [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: WOW. Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING Steve: WOW.
GUESS THEY WIPED OUT THE SUPPLY [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YOU ARE ON A ROLL. Steve: YEAH [ APPLAUSE ]
* [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WELL, SOME TV NEWS,
LAST NIGHT WAS OUR FAVORITE, "THE BACHELOR," "WOMEN TELL ALL" EPISODE
AND THINGS GOT PRETTY HEATED AFTER SHANAE CALLED OUT GENEVIEVE FOR HOOKING UP WITH
A FORMER BACHELOR CONTESTANT THE SHOW CAN BE PRETTY EMOTIONAL, SO I THOUGHT WE
COULD HELP HERE IS THE MOMENT RE-VOICED WITH THE LEAST EMOTIONAL PERSON
WE KNOW, SIRI. THIS IS "LET'S GET SIRI-OUS.
LET'S GET SIRI-OUS. AFTER I GOT ELIMINATED, I WENT HOME.
AND THEN WHEN YOU GET ELIMINATED, YOU BELIEVE AARON FROM KATIE SEASON.
WAP, WAP, NO OH OH, MY GOD
OH, YOU KNOW WHY YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? OH, OKAY
I KNOW HE'S BEEN DM-ING HIM AND ALL THAT 100%
GO ASK HIM CAUSE I'VE NEVER SLID IN HIS DMs, HONEY HE SENT ME A SCREENSHOT.
HONEY, I NEVER SLID IN HIS DMs NO I'D NEVER SLID IN HIS DMs.
HA HA HA HA. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: DID YOU GUYS HEAR
ABOUT THIS EXPERTS ARE URGING NASA TO STUDY SEX IN SPACE SINCE IT
WOULD ESSENTIALLY BE ESSENTIAL FOR HUMAN SURVIVAL ON LONG JOURNEYS
YEAH, SEX IN SPACE OR AS JEFF BEZOS' ROCKET PUT IT, "WAY AHEAD OF YOU."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, THIS IS AMAZING NEWS
THERE'S A NEW THERAPY THAT COULD ACTUALLY REVERSE THE AGING PROCESS BY MAKING YOUR
CELLS YOUNG AGAIN. YEAH, IT'S CRAZY SOON, PEOPLE MIGHT BE ABLE TO
GO BACK TO HOW THEY LOOKED YEARS AGO. WE ACTUALLY HAVE SOME EXAMPLES
FOR INSTANCE, HERE'S BERNIE SANDERS [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HERE IS BERNIE AFTER REVERSE AGING. [ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S -- HERE'S PRINCE CHARLES YEAH, AND HERE HE IS AFTER
REVERSE AGING. [ LAUGHTER ] UP NEXT, HERE'S FORMER ATTORNEY
GENERAL, WILLIAM BARR. YEAH, AND HERE HE IS AFTERWARDS
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, HERE'S TOM BRADY. AND HERE IS TOM BRADY AFTER
REVERSE AGING. UNBELIEVABLE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: NICE TO SEE
EVERYBODY. HEY, EVERYONE, TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY.
THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE FROM MY WIFE.
FOR MY WIFE, NANCY MY DAUGHTERS, WHO I GUESS ARE LITTLE WOMEN
YEAH TO ALL OF THE INCREDIBLE WOMEN WHO WORK HERE AT THE SHOW, THE
STUDIO TEAM, THE PRODUCERS, THE WRITERS, THE TALENT DEPARTMENT, THE RESEARCHERS, WARDROBE,
MAKEUP, HAIR I CAN GO ON AND ON WITHOUT THE WOMEN HERE AT "THE
TONIGHT SHOW," THERE -- WELL, THERE WOULDN'T BE A "TONIGH SHOW."
SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHAT A SHOW THAT WE HAVE FOR
YOU TONIGHT. SHE IS A 15-TIME GRAMMY WINNER AND "THE NEW YORK TIMES" BEST
SELLING AUTHOR HER NEW BOOK, "GIRL ON FIRE", IS OUT NOW
ALICIA KEYS IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT
COME ON, SHE IS THE COOLEST. PLUS, SHE STARS IN THE MOVIE, "THE OUTFIT," WHICH WILL BE IN
THEATERS, MARCH 18th ZOEY DEUTCH IS HERE AS WELL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM EARTHGANG IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
EARTHGANG. HEY GUYS, RIGHT NOW, IT'S TIME TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE STORIES
MAKING HEADLINES TODAY AND WEIGH THE GOOD WITH THE BAD. IT'S TIME FOR "PROS AND CONS."
HERE WE GO
PROS AND CON
AND PROS * Jimmy: NOW TONIGHT, WE'LL BE TAKING A LOOK AT THE PROS AND
THE CONS OF BEING "THE BATMAN. Steve: OOH! [ AUDIENCE OOHS
Jimmy: IT'S THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE RIGHT NOW. EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT.
SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING THE BATMAN
HERE WE GO PRO, HEARING PEOPLE SAY, "WHOA, IT'S BATMAN.
[ LAUGHTER ] CON, HAVING TO CORRECT THEM BY SAYING, "UM, ACTUALLY, IT'S
'THE' BATMAN." [ LAUGHTER ] NO BIG DEAL.
PRO, RESPONDING TO THE BAT SIGNAL CON, REALIZING THIS COULD HAVE
BEEN A ZOOM. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE PRO, COLIN FARRELL SPENT EIGHT
HOURS PUTTING ON MAKEUP TO PLAY THE PENGUIN. CON, ROBERT PATTINSON JUST
WALKED INTO A SEPHORA AND SAID, "GO NUTS." [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: SMOKEY EYE Jimmy: PRO, WINNING AGAINST THE RIDDLER.
CON, FAILING AGAINST THE WORDLER. [ LAUGHTER ]
I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A A VILLAIN. WAS IT
Steve: WOW. WORDLE Jimmy: PRO, WEARING THE
BATMAN MASK. CON, SPENDING 45 MINUTES TRYING TO GET YOUR PHONE FACE ID TO
RECOGNIZE YOU. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE PRO, SAYING "SAVING THE WORLD
ONE DAY AT A TIME. CON, NOT BEING ABLE TO BRAG ABOUT IT ON INSTAGRAM.
[ APPLAUSE ] LIKE, "SO, THIS HAPPENED." PRO, SAYING, "I AM VENGEANCE
I AM THE NIGHT." CON, HEARING THE STARBUCKS BARISTA SAY, "OKAY, EITHER WAY,
YOUR CARMEL MACCHIATO IS READY. [ LAUGHTER ]
TRUE "NIGHT, VENGEANCE, WHATEVER. TAKE IT.
PRO, DEFEATING THE JOKER CON, HAVING TO FACE HIS HENCHMEN, THE SMOKER AND THE
MIDNIGHT TOKER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: COME ON.
SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM THE "SPACE COWBOY" TOO. Jimmy: A LITTLE STEVE MILLER
JET REFERENCE RIGHT THERE. YEAH Steve: SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM
MAURICE. Jimmy: YEAH AND FINALLY, PRO, SEEING THE
BAT SIGNAL SHINING ACROSS THE SKY. CON, GETTING A TEXT MESSAGE
FROM COMMISSIONER GORDON FIVE SECONDS LATER THAT SAYS, "YOU UP?"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT, THOSE ARE THE "PROS AND CONS."
STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME AMAZING KID INVENTORS,
EVERYBODY. IT'LL BE FUN COME ON BACK
THEY'RE COOL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK HEY GUYS, IF YOU LOVE SEEING NEW INVENTIONS AND YOU LOVE
BRILLIANT KIDS, THEN YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO LOVE THIS. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S TIME FOR
"FALLONVENTIONS. HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Steve: WELCOME TO FALLONVENTIONS
JIMMY FALLON'S NIGHT OF INVENTION. *
Jimmy: NOW, I LOVE INVENTIONS AND I'M OKAY WITH KIDS
SO WE FOUND SOME THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST KIDS OUT THERE, AND I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO BE
AMAZED AT WHAT WE CAME UP WITH SO LET'S MEET OUR FIRST INVENTOR
COME ON OVER HERE, RILEY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
RILEY -- HI BUD HI.
Jimmy: NICE TO SEE YOU. RILEY, WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? HOW OLD ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE
YOU FROM I AM RILEY SHOVE, I'M 12 YEARS OLD AND I'M FROM
MANCHESTER, CONNECTICUT. Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR BEING ON THE SHOW RILEY, WHAT IS YOUR INVENTION?
MY INVENTION IS THE PLAY BOX. I LOVE SPREADING OUT AND
PLAYING WITH MY TOYS ALL OVER MY HOUSE BUT I REALLY HATE CLEANING UP THE MESS
Jimmy: YEAH, ME TOO SO THIS IS A SOLUTION Jimmy: SO WHAT DO WE HAVE TO
DO HERE? CAN I HELP YOU OUT SO WE CAN START BY MAKING A
A LITLE MESS WITH THESE TOYS Jimmy: OKAY I AM GOOD AT THIS.
OKAY, GOOD LOOKS LIKE MY OFFICE FLOOR [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SPREAD THEM OUT A LITTLE BIT. Jimmy: OKAY
SO THEN AFTER YOU PLAY A LITTLE BIT, YOU CAN THEN PUSH ALL THE TOYS BACK INTO THE
MIDDLE OF THE PLAY BOX Jimmy: YEAH OH, I LIKE THIS IDEA
THEN FOLD UP THE FOUR FLAPS Jimmy: YEAH, THIS IS GENIUS OKAY, WAIT A SECOND.
YEP. YOU ARE A GENIUS THANK YOU
THEN YOU LIFT UP THE SIDE FLAPS. Jimmy: OF COURSE YOU DO
PUTTING IT INTO A BOX Jimmy: YEP, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE -- YOU ARE A BILLIONAIRE, MY FRIEND
I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM MEETING YOU NOW. WHEN YOU GO TO SPACE, YOU'VE
GOTTA LET ME KNOW, OKAY? SO I CAN COME IN YOUR ROCKET OH MY GOSH
DID I DO IT RIGHT? YEAH. Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT
AND NOW YOU HAVE JUST A BOX, YOU CAN JUST TRAVEL WITH NOW IT'S A BOX.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS KEEPS ALL THE TOYS INSIDE AND AS AN ADDED BONUS THE SIDE
CLIPS CAN ACT AS HANDLES Jimmy: LITTLE HANDLES RIGHT THERE.
NOT BAD. THIS IS BRILLIANT. I DO LOVE THIS
DO YOU WANT TO SEE AN INVENTION I MADE OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE EXCITED
BUT GET READY FOR THIS, THIS IS REALLY COOL. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
THIS IS CALLED A S'WIG OKAY HERE'S THE WAY IT WORKS.
IT'S A STYLISH WIG AND CONCEALED IN THE WIG IS A DRINK BLADDER AND A CLEAR TUBE THAT
DROPS DOWN FROOM THE WIG SO YOU CAN TAKE DISCREET SIPS FROM THE LIQUID HIDDEN IN ITS POUCH, IN
THE WIG. IT'S PERFECT FOR SNEAKING IN DRINKS INTO THE MOVIE THEATER.
[ LAUGHTER ] SPORTING EVENTS. KID'S RECITALS
WHATEVER YOU GOT TO GO, YOU NEED TO SNEAK A LITTLE -- HAVE A LITTLE SIP AND HERE YOU GO
IT'S EASY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AH, THAT WAS REFRESHING.
OKAY. Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I CAN SEE YOU ARE IMPRESSED.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU CAN HEAD OVER THERE. I KNOW I JUST BLEW HER MIND
RIGHT NOW. SHE'S LIKE, YEAH THAT TOY BOX WAS SOMETHING
BUT THIS IS NEXT LEVEL LET'S MEET OUR NEXT INVENTOR SARAH.
COME ON OVER, PAL. * HI
HELLO Jimmy: JIMMY. HI, NICE TO MEET YOU
NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. Jimmy: SARAH, WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?
HOW OLD ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM MY NAME IS SARAH LAMPHERE
I AM FROM WOLCOTT, CONNECTICUT Jimmy: WELCOME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HOW OLD ARE YOU? I AM 12 YEARS OLD Jimmy: 12 YEARS OLD
AND NOW, WHAT IS THIS INVENTION? WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?
I CALL THIS THE PET PULLER. IT'S A SAFE WAY TO GET CATS OUT OF CARRIERS.
Jimmy: A SAFE WAY TO GET CATS OUT OF CARRIERS CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT MORE TO
ME SO WHEN I GO TO MY MOM'S VETERINARY CLINIC, I SOMETIMES
SEE THE TECHNICIANS STRUGGLING TO GET THE CATS OUT OF THE CARRIERS
BECAUSE THE CATS ARE SCARED, THEY'RE SCRATCHING, THEY'RE BITING
SO I MADE A SAFE WAY TO GET THEM OUT WITHOUT HURTING THE TECHNICIAN OR THE CAT.
Jimmy: OKAY, THIS IS BRILLIANT. CAN WE SEE IT IN ACTION?
ROOTS, CAN WE GET GENTLE DRUM ROLL PLEASE. [ DRUM ROLL
LOOK AT THAT THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA AND IT JUST MOVES THE BACK WALL BACK
IN [ APPLAUSE ] THIS IS FANTASTIC.
IS THIS -- IS THIS YOUR CAT? NO, THIS IS NOT MY CAT. Jimmy: OH, WOW.
WHAT A GOOD CAT. I KNOW. Jimmy: DO CATS DO THIS?
I THOUGHT THIS CAT WOULD JUST DIVE OUT OR SOMETHING. [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S VERY SIMPLE AND IT'S A BRILLIANT INVENTION. I LOVE THIS IDEA
CONGRATULATIONS. I HAVE AN INVENTION THAT IS ALSO VERY SIMPLE AND BRILLIANT
AS WELL. I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU -- CHECK THIS OUT
IT'S CALLED OVER-EAR EARPHONES NOW LOOK - THEY LOOK WONDERFUL
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY DO YET. WATCH WHAT THEY DO
THIS IS -- WATCH SO BASICALLY, YOU PUT THESE ON AND NO ONE EVEN KNOWS THAT
YOU'RE WEARING HEADPHONES. I WOULDN'T NOTICE Jimmy: RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ] SO YOU COULD BE LIKE AT THE MEETING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
AND EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE LISTENING. BUT REALLY I AM ACTUALLY JUST
JAMMING OUT TO MY FAVORITE JAMS [ LAUGHTER ]
SARAH, YOU STILL INTERESTED? [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK THEY LOOK GREAT
Jimmy: I COULDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID BUT THANK YOU, SARAH. THANKS FOR COMING ON THE SHOW.
WHY DON'T YOU HEAD OVER THERE. WE'LL GET OUR NEXT INVENTOR TO COME ON OVER
COME ON OVER, LUCAS. LUCAS. WHERE IS LUCAS
HEY, BUD NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW ARE YOU?
WHOA THAT WAS INTERESTING FIRST OF ALL -- WHERE ARE YOU
FROM WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME SORRY, IT'S REVERSIBLE
THIS THING IT'S GREAT [ LAUGHTER ]
HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU FROM MY NAME IS LUCAS KELLOGG,
I'M 14 AND I AM FROM SHELTON, CONNECTICUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD, MAN A LOT OF CONNECTICUT LOVE TONIGHT.
WHAT IS YOUR INVENTION THERE BUD? WHAT DO WE HAVE?
MY INVENTION IS THE COLD CLAPPERS AND I ACTUALLY BROUGHT YOU YOUR
OWN. Jimmy: WHAT THERE YOU GO.
Jimmy: YOU ARE A GOOD MAN LOOK AT THESE. COLD CLAPPERS.
THAT IS MY PICTURE ON THERE RIGHT THERE. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
THAT IS VERY COOL. BUT WHAT ARE COLD CLAPPERS WE'RE ALL ENJOYING THIS BUT
WHAT DO COLD CLAPPERS DO BOTH MY BROTHERS PLAY HOCKEY AND I ALWAYS GO TO THEIR GAMES
AND IN THE STANDS EVERYONE IS ALWAYS WEARING GLOVES BECAUSE THE RINKS GET COLD
AND SO THEY TRY TO CHEER, BUT THEY CAN'T WHEN THEY ARE WEARING GLOVES
AND SO THESE GO OVER YOUR GLOVES AND IT ALLOWS YOU TO CHEER FOR YOUR TEAM.
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] Jimmy: I THINK THIS IS KIND OF A GENIUS IDEA
CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW THEY WORK? YOU JUST PUT IT OVER YOUR GLOVE LIKE THAT AND THEN YOU
JUST START CLAPPING. SIMPLE Jimmy: WOW.
SO WHAT DOES IT SOUND LIKE LET'S GO [ CLAPPING ]
OH, THESE ARE COLD CLAPPERS. [ APPLAUSE ] I LOVE THIS.
YOU CAN PUT ANY TEAM LOGO YOU WANT ON THERE. WHATEVER, AND THEN EVERYONE IS
CLAPPING, CLAP FOR YOUR TEAM I LOVE THIS. YOU KNOW WHAT COULD BE FUN
THOUGH, THIS IS KIND OF COOL [ LAUGHTER ] HERE IS AN EXTRA S'WIG
YOU PUT ON THE S'WIG CHECK THIS OUT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU WANT TO TRY THESE ON TOO YEAH. Jimmy: CHECK THESE OUT.
THIS IS GOING TO BE COOL LOOK AT THIS NOW YOU'VE GOT YOUR COLD
CLAPPERS, AND THEN - THIS IS GOING TO BE REAL I THINK WE ARE ON TO SOMETHING
HERE READY, LET'S GIVE A LITTLE COLD CLAP TO OUR INVENTORS, RIGHT
NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COME ON EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK OVER HERE * I DO HAVE ONE MORE THING I WANT
TO SHOW YOU. WE HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW" LOVE SUPPORTING SMART, TALENTED
KIDS LIKE YOURSELF AND WE WANT YOU TO KEEP EXPLORING, AND CREATING, AND CHANGING THE
WORLD. SO WE ARE GIVING EACH OF YOU $5,000 TO HELP FURTHER YOUR
EDUCATION. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, BUD LUCAS, YOU GET A GIANT CHECK
SARAH, YOU GET A GIANT CHECK IT'S $5,000. NOT BAD, RILEY
5,000 BUCKS, RIGHT THERE FOR YOU GUYS MY THANKS TO RILEY, SARAH,
LUCAS. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
ALICIA KEYS, EVERYONE. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A A 15-TIME GRAMMY-WINNER AND
A "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST SELLING AUTHOR, WHO HAS WRITTEN A NEW BOOK CALLED "GIRL ON FIRE,"
WHICH IS AVAILABLE NOW EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME ALICIA KEYS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WELCOME BACK
COME ON Jimmy: YOU'RE HERE. YOU'RE IN NEW YORK CITY, THIS
IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED FOR YOU. OH, MY GOSH
COME ON, NEW YORK IS MY BABY Jimmy: HOW DOES IT FEEL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
COME ON. Jimmy: UH, I WANTED TO SHOW THIS PHOTO THAT I FOUND OF YOU
THIS IS YOUR HOME STUDIO WHEN YOU -- WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED OUT.
IS THAT POSSIBLE UH, YEP Jimmy: YEAH, LOOK AT THAT
THAT'S ME OH, MY, AND -- AND LOOK AT THIS STUDIO.
THAT'S WHEN I WAS 16-YEARS-OLD MY BEDROOM WAS THE STUDIO.
SO THERE WAS LIKE, A BED RIGHT HERE, AND THEN ALL THE GEAR AND THE PIANO AND THAT WAS WHERE I
SAT. Jimmy: SO YOU COULD TOUCH THE PIANO FROM YOUR BED?
YES, FROM THE BED AND THEN THIS -- 'CAUSE IT WAS TINY, THIS IS THE CLOSET
AND I THOUGHT THAT IN ORDER TO MAKE A VOCAL BOOTH, I HAD TO HANG BLANKETS.
SO THIS IS THE BLANKET Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT AND I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER PHOTO OF THE ACTUAL STUDIO
YES THIS IS MAJOR. Jimmy: DO HAVE ANY SONGS OR
ANY SAMPLES ON HERE, ON THESE MACHINES THAT YOU'RE LIKE "OH, NO
IF I EVER PLAY THAT, IT WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSING." UM, THERE ARE DEFINITELY
SONGS I FEEL THAT IF I PLAYED WOULD BE EMBARRASSING. ACTUALLY I HEARD ONE TODAY,
RANDOMLY MY FIRST SONG WAS ON THE "DR. DOLITTLE" SOUNDTRACK.
Jimmy: REALLY AND IT WAS CALLED "REAR VIEW MIRROR."
AND, YOU KNOW, IT WAS MY FIRST REAL ATTEMPT AT AN OFFICIAL RELEASE.
AND WHEN I LISTEN TO IT NOW I KINDA -- I CAN JUST -- I CAN HEAR ALL THE INSECURITIES AND
ALL THE THINGS BUT IT'S BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT? Jimmy: YEAH
RIGHT INSECURITIES Jimmy: IT'S 'CAUSE -- YEAH.
YOU GOT -- YOU'RE STARTING OUT, BUT ALSO, THAT'S A BIG BREAK IT'S A -- IT'S A BIG DEAL
Jimmy: EDDIE MURPHY MOVIE, LET'S DO IT. I MEAN -
LET'S GO! Jimmy: LET'S DO IT, RIGHT [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT NOW YOU ARE -- YOU ARE ONE OF THE BEST SELLING ARTISTS IN THE WORLD, AND OFFICIALLY YOU
WERE CERTIFIED -- I WANT TO SAY THIS, THE MOST CERTIFIED FEMALE R&B ARTIST, READY?
OF THE MILLENNIUM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OF THE MILLENNIUM!
I -- I HAVE TO BE HONEST. I HAD TO LOOK UP THE WORD "MILLENNIUM.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU WERE LIKE, "HOW MANY YEARS IS A MILLENNIUM?"
CAN I -- THIS IS -- LET ME BE CLEAR ABOUT "MILLENNIUM" -- Jimmy: MORE THAN A CENTURY,
RIGHT, YEAH. MEANS IT'S MAJOR
MILLENNIUM - Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. I WAS FEELING REALLY PROUD
OF THAT. MY HUSBAND ACTUALLY SURPRISED ME WITH IT
SOMEHOW HE GOT THE NEWS FIRST. AND I WAS WASHING DISHES IN THE KITCHEN, AND HE COMES UP OVER
TO ME WITH A CAMERA. AND HE'S ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE, TRYING TO GET SOME TYPE OF
VIDEO, YOU KNOW? THOSE HUSBANDS Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND SO -- UM, I'M WASHING THE DISHES AND HE COMES OVER
AND HE HAS A CAMERA ALL IN MY FACE "SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL?"
AND I'M LIKE, "HUH I'M WASHING THE DISHES." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND HE'S LIKE, "NO, REALLY WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW?
I WAS LIKE, "I -- I DON'T -- I DON'T -- I'M JUST -- MY -- I'M SOAPY?
I DON'T KNOW." [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "I'M SOAPY."
AND SO -- SO HE FINALLY BROKE THE NEWS TO ME AND I WAS LIKE, SO PROUD BUT
SHY, BUT LIKE, EXCITED AND I WAS LIKE, I WORKED ALL OF MY LIFE FOR THIS
Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, RIGHT FOR THAT, RIGHT THERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: THAT'S WHERE IT STARTS, THAT'S AWESOME AND YOU'RE GOING ON TOUR THIS
SUMMER YES Jimmy: IT'S A BIG DEAL.
NO, IT'S AMAZING. I'M GOING ON TOUR, FIRST TIME IN -- I GUESS TWO YEARS SINCE
ALL OF THE -- Jimmy: WOW. YOU KNOW. I MEAN, MAYBE MORE
AT THIS POINT HOW LONG HAS THE PANDEMIC BEEN, LIKE -- Jimmy: WE ALL STOPPED
COUNTING WE ALL STOPPED COUNTING. BUT PLEASE, WE'RE HAPPY THAT
YOU'RE ON TOUR THOUGH. OKAY, I'M GONNA BE ON TOUR. AND SINCE -- SINCE THAT -- IT
WAS ORIGINALLY "THE ALICIA TOUR" 'CAUSE THAT WAS THE ALBUM I PUT OUT.
AND SINCE THEN I PUT OUT MY ALBUM CALLED "KEYS." SO NOW IT'S GOING TO BE "THE
ALICIA KEYS TOUR." Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, YOU GOTTA ADD "KEYS" IN THERE.
BUT YOU DID IT ONE NIGHT AT THE APOLLO DID YOU RUB THE STUMP, DID YOU
DO THE WHOLE THING [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I DEFINITELY -- YOU HAVE TO
RUB THE STUMP. IF YOU DON'T RUB THE THUMP - Jimmy: THEN YOU'RE A FOOL
NAH, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A A GOOD NIGHT Jimmy: IT'S NOT GONNA BE --
YOU HAVE TO GET GOOD LUCK. YES Jimmy: I MEAN, HOW IS
THAT - I KNOW YOUR -- YOUR -- YOU HAD EGYPT RECORD SOMETHING
WHAT WAS THAT -- AH, IT WAS "SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.
Jimmy: NO, YEAH, THAT WAS - SO EGYPT IS MY 11-YEAR-OLD. Jimmy: HE'S 11 ALREADY?
THAT'S WILD, RIGHT CRAZY AND UM, SO HE IS PLAYING PIANO
AND HE'S SINGING AND HE'S WRITING SONGS, AND THE WHOLE THING.
SO THIS IS HIS FIRST SONG THAT HE RECORDED IN THE STUDIO WITH ME, LIKE, YOU KNOW, SINGING.
Jimmy: "SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW," I MEAN, HAD ME JUST TEARING UP, AND IT'S NOT EVEN
MY KID NAH I DEFINITELY HAD A MOMENT WHERE
I WAS LIKE, WOW. BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT -- LIKE, HIS VOICE IS NEVER GONNA
SOUND LIKE THAT AGAIN. HE'S -- HE'S NEVER GONNA HAVE THAT PLACE WHERE IT'S KINDA --
HE HASN'T QUITE HIT PUBERTY, IT'S STILL REALLY SWEET. Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH AND -- AND -- AND I WAS JUST WITNESSING, LIKE, A MOMENT
IN -- A MOMENT IN TIME THAT PROBABLY WILL NEVER COME BACK, SO -
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL. IT'S SO SWEET, YOU GOTTA HEAR HIS VOICE.
Jimmy: AND -- AND THEN, YOUR OTHER BABY, GENESIS, WHO UH -- DOES HE WANT TO BE IN THE
LIMELIGHT? OR HE'S LIKE, "I'M COOL" GENESIS DOESN'T LIKE
ANYBODY. [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S NOT -
Jimmy: DOESN'T LIKE ANYBODY HE'S NOT FOR THE GAMES, ALL RIGHT?
Jimmy: NO HE'S NOT FOR ANY OF THESE -- THE SHOWCASING
NO [ LAUGHTER ] DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF HIM,
DON'T ASK HIM TO LIKE GO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, NO Jimmy: NO, HE DOESN'T DO
THAT, NO SO HE'S A LITTLE TOUGH GUY, HE'S A HOT PEPPER.
Jimmy: YEAH AND SO, AFTER THE APOLLO SHOW -- IT WAS REALLY AN
INCREDIBLE SHOW. IT SO ELECTRIC, AND ALIVE, AND SPECIAL.
AND HE WAS WATCHING FROM THE SIDE OF THE STAGE. 'CAUSE SOMEHOW AT THE APOLLO
YOU HAVE TO BE OVER 16 TO BE IN THE AUDIENCE WHICH WAS NEW -- I DIDN'T
REALIZE THAT SO HE'S AT THE SIDE OF THE STAGE, YOU KNOW, JUST
RESPECTFULLY FOLLOWING THE RULES. AND I COME OUT AT THE END OF
THE SHOW AND HE SAYS, "MOMMY WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING ME OUT? AND I WAS LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU GO, "YOU DON'T DO THIS."
"YOU DON'T EVEN WANT "- I SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT?
HE WAS LIKE -- I WAS LIKE, "RIGHT NOW?" HE WAS LIKE -- I SAID, "OKAY
I'LL DO ONE MORE SONG SO YOU CAN COME OUT." AND HE WAS LIKE "OKAY.
AND THEN RIGHT WHEN I WALKED, "BUT I'M SCARED NOW. I SAID, "NO, DON'T BE SCARED
NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] "NO, COME ON MAN, LET'S GO."
Jimmy: "GENESIS, YOU -- YOU SET THIS UP. WE HAVE A LITTLE VIDEO OF YOU
AND GENESIS HERE CHECK THIS OUT, ALICIA KEYS AND GENESIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HELLO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: NO NO, WE JUST -- I CAN'T -- NO
Jimmy: HE JUST GOES, "HELLO!" THAT'S THE VOICE
BY THE WAY, THAT'S -- I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS UP THERE SAYING HELLO TO ANYBODY.
Jimmy: RIGHT? I JUST -- I WAS JUST -- SUCH A SHOCKER.
SO IT WAS -- IT WAS SWEET TO SEE HIM, KIND OF, YOU KNOW, GO FOR IT
Jimmy: I LOVE THAT YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK THAT'S AWESOME
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR BOOK AND EVERYTHING WHEN WE COME BACK
YES Jimmy: MORE WITH ALICIA KEYS, EVERYBODY
YES Jimmy: "GIRL ON FIRE. COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: WELCOME BACK
EVERYBODY. WE ARE HERE WITH ALICIA KEYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU'VE DONE SO MANY THINGS, SO MANY COOL THINGS BY THE WAY, I CAN'T WAIT TO
TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THIS IS JUST THE RADDEST UH, IT'S AWESOME
YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S SO FUN. TOTALLY Jimmy: 15 GRAMMYS,
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, BUT ALSO, YOU'RE INTO THE -- FASHION, AS WELL -- ATHLETA.
YES Jimmy: YEAH, TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS
SO ATHELTA, I LOVE. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY A FAN OF ATHLETA, AS A -- AS A MOM, AS
A PERSON WHO LIKES TO WORKOUT, LIKES TO MEDITATE. JUST BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT KIND
OF SOFT, SWEET ENERGY. BUT WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THEM THE MOST IS THAT THEY ARE ALL ABOUT
BODY CONSCIOUSNESS, AND BODY POSITIVITY, AND BODY DIVERSITY AND SO WE CREATED A LIMITED
EDITION COLLECTION THAT WE'RE DOING TOGETHER AND IT GOES FROM ALL THE WAY UP
TO 3X IN SIZE, WHICH I THINK IS SO IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO FIND YOURSELF IN THE STORE.
Jimmy: YEAH AND IT'S ALL ABOUT POWERFUL COLORS, AND BOLDNESS, AND
REALLY EMPOWERING WOMEN TO FEEL INCREDIBLE, SO THAT YOU CAN THROW ON YOUR LITTLE 'FIT, GO
TO THE GYM, TAKE YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL, GO TAKE A BRUNCH, AND STILL BE FRESH, AND POWERFUL
THE WHOLE TIME Jimmy: YEAH WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS.
IT LOOKS SO COOL YES Jimmy: I'M LIKE, "OH, HOW DO
YOU"-- I MEAN, IT'S AWESOME GO TO ATHLETA.COM AND CHECK OUT
THE ALICIA KEYS, WHAT YOU -- WHAT YOU DID AND THEN, CAN WE JUST TALK
ABOUT THIS THIS IS SO COOL, AND I JUST TOLD YOU THIS.
I HAD THE BOOK, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE COMING ON RIGHT
Jimmy: I WENT TO THE BOOKSTORE THIS WEEKEND YES
Jimmy: SHOUT OUT TO BOOKHAMPTON, THEY HAD A BIG, BIG DISPLAY OF YOUR BOOK
BOOKHAMPTON Jimmy: IT LOOKED GREAT, IT WAS AWESOME.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, IT JUST POPPED OUT AND I WAS THERE WITH MY
GIRLS. AND I'M LIKE, THIS IS GREAT, WHAT YOU ARE DOING
AW, I LOVE THIS THIS IS A GRAPHIC NOVEL. IT'S MY FIRST GRAPHIC NOVEL.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I THINK ITS A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO INTRODUCE KIDS TO JUST CONTINUE
TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WORDS AND READING, AND I HAVE BEEN SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE
WITH WORDS AND THAT'S WHY I AM A SONGWRITER, AND WHY I'M
A STORYTELLER, BECAUSE I -- I LOVE WORDS SO WHEN YOU MEET LOLO -- HER
NAME IS LOLO SHE'S FROM BROOKLYN. SHE'S RAISED BY A SINGLE
FATHER, WHO'S ALSO RAISING HER BROTHER. HER MOTHER IS ACTUALLY NOT
AROUND AS YOU READ THE STORY, YOU'LL FIND OUT WHY
AND HER BROTHER WAS RACIALLY PROFILED AND ATTACKED BY A A POLICE OFFICER, AND SHE GOT
SO UPSET SHE WANTED TO PROTECT HIM AND SHE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
AND SHE REALIZES AT THAT MOMENT, THAT SHE HAS THESE SPECIAL POWERS
THIS KINETIC ENERGY THAT COULD ACTUALLY HURT YOU VERY BADLY AND SHE'S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
"WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS ENERGY HOW DO I HARNESS IT? HOW DO I USE IT?
AM I CRAZY?" AND THE WHOLE BOOK IS REALLY A A METAPHOR TO -- TO THE
SUPERPOWERS WE ALL HAVE, AND TRYING TO FIND OUR WAY TO HARNESS IT
Jimmy: WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE THE REACTION YOU'RE GOING TO GET FROM TEENAGERS, AND KIDS, AND
PARENTS -- YES Jimmy: --READING IT
AND WATCHING A KID READ YOUR STUFF, IT'S LIKE - IT'S CRAZY.
Jimmy: IT'S GAME-CHANGING YOU GO, "WOW, I CAN'T -- WE'RE SO LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO DO
STUFF LIKE THIS. BUT GOOD FOR -- GOOD ON YOU, FOR DOING THIS
AND THE SONG "GIRL ON FIRE" HAS BEEN SUCH A POWERFUL STATEMENT, AND I WROTE IT WHEN
I DIDN'T FEEL ON FIRE. I WROTE IT WHEN I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T MAKE IT, WHEN I --
WHEN I SAW MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS FAILING AS WOMEN, FEELING DEFEATED.
AND REMINDING US THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT STOPS US, WE ARE ON FIRE.
AND SO TO SEE THIS TRANSFORM INTO A BOOK THAT CAN HOPEFULLY DO THAT FOR SO MANY OTHERS IS
LIKE, I'M SUPER GRATEFUL Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE.
THAT IS ALICIA KEYS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE, IN PERSON. YES Jimmy: I MISSED YOU
I MISSED YOU, BUD. CONGRATS ON EVERYTHING ALICIA KEYS, EVERYBODY
"GIRL ON FIRE" IS OUT NOW. ZOEY DEUTCH JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY TALENTED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "THE OUTFIT,"
WHICH WILL BE IN THEATERS MARCH 18th EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME,
ZOEY DEUTCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE
ISN'T IT AMAZING YES Jimmy: NOTHING LIKE IT,
RIGHT. NO, IT'S AMAZING. Jimmy: THERE IS NOTHING LIKE
IT WELCOME. WELCOME BACK
SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU IN PERSON. HAPPY TO SEE -- YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT BACK THERE,
IT'S MY SIXTH TIME HERE. Jimmy: YEAH ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
Jimmy: DOES IT FEEL LIKE SIX TIMES? I DON'T KNOW, I JUST --
Jimmy: WE HAVE FUN EVERY TIME EVERY TIME.
THANK YOU. I LOVE BEING HERE. I LOVE WATCHING IT
AND I GOT A LOT OF LOVE FOR ALL OF YOU HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: WE LOVE HAVING YOU HERE LOT OF LOVE
Jimmy: EVERY TIME YOU COME ON WE PLAY GAMES WE'VE DONE BITS TOGETHER
I LOVE BITS Jimmy: YES YOU ALWAYS DO --
I LIVE FOR BITS Jimmy: YES, THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HAVING YOU ON THE SHOW.
BUT YOU BROUGHT ME A GAME THIS TIME I BROUGHT YOU A BIT
Jimmy: WHICH NO ONE EVER BRINGS ME A GAME I KNOW.
Jimmy: IT'S EXCITING. I THOUGHT IT WASN'T FAIR. SO I GREW UP -- MY FATHER AND
MY GRANDMOTHER ALWAYS USED A A LOT OF YIDDISH WORDS AND PHRASES.
IT WAS A PART OF THE FAMILY LEXICON AND I FEEL LIKE YOU PROBABLY KNOW SOME YIDDISH
WORDS. Jimmy: SURE AND YOU GUYS PROBABLY KNOW
SOME YIDDISH WORDS, LIKE "OY VEY. DO YOU KNOW "OY VEY?
Jimmy: OF COURSE, YEAH. DO YOU KNOW "KLUTZ? Jimmy: YES.
SPIEL Jimmy: YEAH OKAY, GREAT
SO YOU KNOW A LITTLE BIT Jimmy: THIS IS GOOD RIGHT
WE'RE STARTING OFF WELL. I PICKED SOME LITTLE BIT MORE ADVANCED YIDDISH WORDS
I'M GOING TO SAY THE WORD, GIVE YOU TWO DEFINITIONS AND YOU'RE GOING TO GUESS WHICH ONE IT IS
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I'M VERY COMPETETIVE I LOVE THIS.
THE FIRST ONE IS MISHPUCHA. Jimmy: OH, I KNOW THIS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
A, AN UNFORSEEN MISHAP OR B, FAMILY Jimmy: MISHPUCHA.
MISHPUCHA Jimmy: ONE IS AN UNFORSEEN THING.
ONE IS FAMILY. I THINK IT'S FAMILY. YOU ARE MY MISHPUCHA
[ DING ] IT'S CORRECT! Jimmy: REALLY
YEAH! * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: SEE, I KNOW MORE YIDDISH. I FELT LIKE IT WAS FAMILY.
YEAH. THE WHOLE MISHPUCHA. LET'S BRING THE WHOLE MISHPUCHA
TO VEGAS Jimmy: I LOVE YIDDISH ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE GONNA BE FLUENT IN NO TIME
Jimmy: I KNOW LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE LEARNING. OKAY.
TWO, SHAYNA PUNIM. A, A DISH CONTAINING POTATOES OR B, A PRETTY FACE.
Jimmy: PUNIM IS FACE. YOU ARE CRUSHING THIS [ DING ]
* Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WHAT WAS IT, SHAYNA PUNIM? SHAYNA PUNIM. LIKE, "AH, WHAT A SHAYNA
PUNIM. YEAH RIGHT.
Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH YOU ARE REAL GOOD THIS IS AWESOME
I DID NOT PLAN THIS OUT. THIS IS EXCITING FOR ME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE THIS. THE LAST ONE, ALL THREE OF THESE WORDS MEAN THE SAME
THING. Jimmy: I LOVE SCHMEGEGE I KNOW, SCHMEGEGE
Jimmy: JUST SAYING IT EVERYONE JUST SAY IT WITH ME
SCHMEGEGE. Jimmy: SCHMEGEGE. AREN'T YOU HAVING FUN
Jimmy: YES. SCHMEGEGE Jimmy: IT'S ACTUALLY GREAT.
SCHMEGEGE. SCHMEGEGE, SCHMENDRICK AND SCHMO.
[ LAUGHTER ] A, THESE ARE ALL WORDS FOR A A SILLY OR STUPID PERSON OR B,
THESE ARE ALL AFFECTIONATE TERMS FOR A BABY Jimmy: IT'S GOT TO BE THE
FIRST ONE. RIGHT? OH MY GOD
[ DING ] Jimmy: LOOK AT ME OH MY GOD.
AM I - * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
REALLY RESPECT? RESPECT.
YEAH. YOU EARNED IT. Jimmy: RESPECT, RIGHT THERE
COME ON. RIGHT? NOT BAD.
I DID NOT - WE DID NOT PLAN IT I LOVE IT. I HAVE NO WORDS
Jimmy: SCHMEGEGE. SCHMEGEGE THAT'S THE BEST WORD I'VE EVER
HEARD. Jimmy: I LOVE SCHMEGEGE YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE
USING THAT EVERY DAY NOW Jimmy: WE'RE ALWAYS GOING TO SAY SCHMEGEGE.
WHEN WE COME OUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOVIE.
THAT IS WHY YOU'RE HERE. "THE OUTFIT. YES
Jimmy: BY THE WAY, EVERY TIME YOU COME ON, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT MOVIES
AND YOU HAVE GREAT ACCENTS IN THE MOVIE. AND WHAT DIFFERENT ACCENTS CAN
YOU DO RIGHT NOW CAN YOU JUST RATTLE SOME OFF OH, RATTLE SOME
Jimmy: GIVE ME -- I FEEL LIKE, HONESTLY, LIKE THE FIRST ONE THAT COMES TO
MIND IS THE ACCENT I DID IN "ZOMBIELAND. BECAUSE LIKE, IT'S INSPIRIED BY
THE VALLEY AND I'M LITERALLY FROM THE VALLEY
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S PERFECT. AND LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
SO GOOD AT ACCENTS AN MINNESOTAN IS SO MUCH FUN MINNESOTAN DONTCHA KNOW IS SUCH
A FUN ACCENT TO DO Jimmy: OH, MINNESOTA, YEAH. YEAH.
Jimmy: LOVE MINNESOTA OH, YEAH. Jimmy: OH, YEAH
OH, YEAH. OF COURSE. I'M GONNA JUST KEEP COPYING YOU
NOW. Jimmy: OH, YOU ARE? YEAH, WHY NOT.
WELL WELL. Jimmy: NOW.
NOW Jimmy: I'M GONNA DO A - I'M GONNA DO A --
Jimmy: SOUTHERN PERSON. SOUTHERN PERSON Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT
THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. Jimmy: AND WELCOME TO THE SHOW AND YOU'RE JUST -
WELCOME TO THE SHOW NOW I LOVE SOUTHERN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, I THINK MY
FAVORITE ACCENT OF ALL IS AN ACCENT THAT COMES FROM A TOWN NOT SO FAR FROM HERE, JIMMY.
Jimmy: WHERE IS THAT, NOW LONG ISLAND [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: YOU LOVE THE LONG ISLAND YEAH, MY GRANDMOTHER, THE
ONE WHO TAUGHT US ALL THAT YIDDISH EARLIER, THAT YOU WERE SO GOOD AT
SHE IS FROM LONG ISLAND. Jimmy: OH MY GOD. SHE'S FROM LONG ISLAND.
SHE TALKS LIKE THIS. IT'S AMAZING IF SHE WAS HERE, SHE WOULD TELL
YOU, YOU GOT A SHAYNA PUNIM. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE
HER. THAT'S THE NEXT MOVIE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO THAT
WHO IS GOING TO HIRE ME TO DO THAT ACCENT Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO DO -
I SOUND LIKE I SMOKE A PACK A DAY, BUT I'VE NEVER HAD A CIGARETTE IN MY LIFE
Jimmy: THAT'S PERFECT YOU'RE GOING TO ROCK THAT, TRUST ME
YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT AND ROCK THAT IN A MOVIE CAN WE TELL EVERYONE WHAT "THE
OUTFIT" IS ABOUT YES "THE OUTFIT" IS ABOUT AN EXPERT
TAILOR WHO HAS TO OUTWIT A A BUNCH OF VERY DANGEROUS GANGSTERS IN ORDER TO SURVIVE
A NIGHT. THE MOVIE TAKES PLACE ON ONE NIGHT ON ONE SET WITH SIX
ACTORS IT'S REALLY COOL IT FEELS LIKE A PLAY AND YOU
ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO TELL WHO IS TELLING THE TRUTH Jimmy: YEAH, AND IT'S YOU,
MARK RYLANCE, COME ON. I WANT TO SEE THIS I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE IS ZOEY DEUTCH IN "THE OUTFIT." TAKE A LOOK.
I DO NOT NEED YOU TELLING ME WHO TO DATE.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. YOU MEANT IT LIKE, I SAW YOU SMILING AT RICHIE BOYLE EARLIER
AND NOW I'M PETRIFIED THAT YOU'RE RUNNING WITH THE BAD BATCH.
THOSE MEN MAY BE CUSTOMERS BUT THEY ARE NOT GENTLEMEN COULD HAVE FOOLED ME IN
THOSE NICE CLOTHES YOU MAKE FOR THEM IF WE ONLY ALLOWED ANGELS TO
BE CUSTOMERS THEN WE'D HAVE NO CUSTOMERS AT ALL DO WE LET ALL OF OUR
CUSTOMERS KEEP LOCKED BOXES IN BACK IT WAS YOU WHO WAS SMILING
AT HIM I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE AROUND ANIMALS LIKE RICHIE
BOYLE. YOU WANT TO GET THEM TO BACK OFF, YOU LOOK THEM DEAD IN THE
EYES AND YOU PRETEND YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. YOU DON'T NEED ME WORRYING
AFTER YOU. THAT'S RIGHT. Jimmy: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ZOEY DEUTCH EVERYBODY! "THE OUTFIT" IS IN THEATERS
MARCH 18th WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM EARTHGANG
STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: PERFORMING "LIE TO ME" FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM, "GHETTO GODS," GIVE IT UP FOR
EARTHGANG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * YEA OH YEAH *
* SHE GOT A BIRKI FLOSSING MONEY WELL SPEN SHE STILL IN THE
APARTMENTS PAYING RENT * * SATURDAY SUNDAY HE GOT CASH TO PLA
MONDAY COME HIS POCKET FULL OF LENT * * OH CAN YOU BE HONES
CAN YOU BE TRU CAN YOU BE TRU KEEP IT 10
TELL ME THE TRUTH * EVERYBODY BUY YOUR THINGS* * ALLOWING THINGS
TO POOF YOUR STATU PROOF YOU HAVE I NOW TO CALL UP IN THE ROLL*
* THEY CAME FOR FOO IT CAN'T BE REAL IT'S TOO DRAMATIC *
GOT TO KEE THE AUDIENCE HAPPY GOT TO KEEP *
* THE HATERS GUESSING LIVING A LIE FOR FOLKS YOU'LL NEVER MEE
IN REAL LIFE * * SO TRAGIC BABY GOT A DAY JOB
IT GOES SOMETHIN LIKE THIS * * UPLOAD UPLOAD
CHECK ENGAGEMENT RECEIVE PAYMENTS GRANTING FANTASIES *
* SELLING HELLA DREAM THEN SHE TAKES HER MASK OF 50S RUNNING DOWN *
* HER BREASTS HER TRUE SELF HOPE SHE DON'T FORGET
SAY SHE DO IT * * FOR THE CHECK MY HOMEBOY LIE
FOR HIS RESPEC CAN'T WAIT TO FLEX * * THE NEW BAGUETTES
CAUSE THE WORL WE LIVE IN KEEP REVEALIN IF YOU AIN'T BALLING *
* THEN YOU AIN' SO SHE GONE BUY CHANEL TO IMPRESS
HE GONE SHOP * * TILL AIN'T NOTHING LEFT THEY FELL IN LOV
WITH THE FAK TILL THE REAL CAME OUT * * NOW THEY AT
EACH OTHER'S NECK * OKAY * SHE GOT A BIRKI
FLOSSING MONEY WELL SPEN SHE GOT A BIRKIN SHE STILL IN THE *
* APARTMENTS PAYING REN SHE IN THE APARTMENT S SATURDAY SUNDA
HE GOT CASH TO PLAY * * MONDAY COME HIS POCKETS FULL OF LENT
OH CAN YOU BE HONEST * * CAN YOU BE TRUE
ANYBODY STRAIGHT U LIE ON CUE ANYBODY KEEPING IT *
* REAL WITH YOU KEEP IT 10 TELL ME THE TRUT
CAN YOU BE HONEST * * CAN YOU BE TRUE ANYBODY STRAIGHT U
LIE ON CUE ANYBODY KEEPING IT * * REAL WITH YOU
KEEP IT 10 TELL ME THE TRUT CLOSED MOUTH DON'T EAT *
* CLOSED MOUTH DON'T EA BROKE FINGER DON'T TWEET BROKE FINGER DON'T TWEET
BROKE PEOPLE GONNA HATE * * BROKE PEOPLE GONNA HATE TO DISTRACT FROM DEFEA
LOOK AWAY * * HOW YOU LIVIN
THESE DAYS LOVE LANGUAGES TAGS AND RECEIPT
WHOOP WHOOP * * GET THE PENALTY PAID OFF QUICK
RIGHT BACK TO THE STREET FLEW OUT ON THE FRONT * * OF THE PLAN
LIKE HEY CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE DON'T BELIEV
* NO LEASH JUST WANT TO TAKE PICTURES JUST WANT TO TAKE PICS
JUST WANNA * * SEE THE BEACH BUT A LIKE M
HAD TO GET IT OUT THE MU THESE REALLY MY CLEATS * * THIS REALLY MY BLOO
I'M REALLY DENZE ONE TEAR ON MY CHEEK I'M ROLLIN UP *
* SHE'S TALKING ABOUT MINKS I'M TALKING ABOUT THINGS WHEN YOU FIGUR
OUT WHAT YOU NEED * * GIRL LET IT GET BACK TO M FROM THE FACTORY
RUN THROUGH LIKE BATTERIES EVERY -- WITH A STRATEGY * * AND SHE GOT IT PERFEC
SHE GOT A PURPOS SHE GOT A SYSTEM KNOW HOW TO WORK IT *
* THAT'S HOW SHE GOTT SHE GOTT SHE GOTT
YEAH * * OKAY SHE GOT A BIRKIN FLOSSING MONEY WELL SPEN
UH-HUH * * OKA SHE STILL IN THE
APARTMENTS PAYING RENT SATURDAY SUNDAY * * HE GOT CASH TO PLAY
MONDAY COME HIS POCKET FULL OF LENT CAN YOU BE HONEST *
* CAN YOU BE TRUE ANYBODY STRAIGHT U *
LADIES. HELP ME OUT LADIES.
COME ON. * UH-HU HE
OKAY * * HEY
ALL RIGH HE HEY *
* LIE TO ME LIE TO MEE LIE TO MEE
EVERYBODY EVERYBODY COME ON. * PERCEPTION OF PERFECTIO
GIVES ME ERECTIONS LIE TO M LIE TO ME BABY *
* LIE TO ME YEA LIE TO M LIE TO M
LIE TO ME YEAH * * O LIE TO M
LIE TO ME * * YEA
YEAH * Jimmy: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COME ON, EARTHGANG WELL, THAT IS GOOD RIGHT THERE,
BUD. THANK YOU, MAN THAT WAS GOOD.
TICKETS FOR THE WORLD TOUR ARE ON SALE NOW. EARTHGANG.
MY THANKS TO ALICIA KEYS, ZOEY DEUTCH.
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD JAM AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY *