>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - KEVIN BACON,
JO KOY COMEDIAN KATHERINE BLANFORD, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1693 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ENJOY YOURSELF ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN.
LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS WELL, GUYS, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS
IT WAS JUST REVEALED THAT THE PENTAGON DELETED ALL JANUARY 6th-RELATED TEXT
MESSAGES FROM THE PHONES OF KEY TRUMP DEFENSE OFFICIALS. YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHEN SHE HEARD, HILLARY CLINTON WAS LIKE, "WELL, WELL, WELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] I ACTUALLY THINK TRUMP HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
IF HE WAS INVOLVED, THE PHONES WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WIPED THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN FLUSHED
[ LAUGHTER ] LISTEN TO THIS FEMA JUST WARNED THAT IF THE
SOFTWARE FOR THE NATIONAL ALERT SYSTEM ISN'T UPDATED, IT CAN BE HACKED TO SEND OUT FAKE
EMERGENCY ALERTS [ AUDIENCE OOHS EVEN WORSE, FEMA HEARD AND WAS
LIKE, "OH, NO, THAT MESSAGE DIDN'T COME FROM US. [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME MORE NEWS FROM WASHINGTON PRESIDENT BIDEN STILL TESTING POSITIVE FOR COVID, BUT HIS
DOCTOR SAID THAT HE'S FEELING GOOD AND THAT HIS ONLY LINGERING SYMPTOM IS A LOOSE
COUGH. >> Tariq: OH, GROSS. PLEASE DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS
>> Jimmy: SAY WHAT LOOSE -- LOOSE COUGH >> Tariq: COME ON, JIMMY
I CAN'T HEAR THAT PHRASE, MAN. DON'T SAY IT AGAIN >> Jimmy: WHAT
I'M JUST TELLING PEOPLE THE NEWS PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS --
>> QUOTE, UNQUOTE, LOOSE COUGH >> A BIT OF A LOOSE COUGH. >> LOOSE COUGH
>> LOOSE COUGH >> A LOOSE COUGH
>> Tariq: JIMMY, COME ON, MAN. SERIOUSLY. I'M GOING TO THROW UP IN MY
HAT. >> Jimmy: FROM WHAT? FROM WHAT?
FROM JUST HEARING THIS
>> THE PRESIDENT'S DOCTOR SAYS HE HAS A LOOSE COUGH
>> BUT HAS A LOOSE COUGH >> A LOOSE COUGH >> A BIT OF A LOOSE COUGH.
>> A LOOSE COUGH >> KIND OF LOOSE COUGH >> Tariq: ALL RIGHT, MAN,
ENOUGH YOU WON. JUST TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE
>> Jimmy: LIKE WHAT? >> Tariq: I DON'T KNOW SOMETHING BLAND, LIKE THE
WEATHER. >> Jimmy: OKAY, THEN
THE CITY RIGHT NOW
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SICKY MUGGINESS >> STILL HOT AND STICKY.
>> STEAM, STICKY, SWEATY >> YES >> Tariq: ARE YOU PROUD OF
YOURSELF >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH I AM A LITTLE BIT.
YEAH MOVING ON. TARIQ TROTTER, EVERYBODY
[ APPLAUSE ] MOIST WEATHER. >> Steve: MOIST!
>> Jimmy: HE HAS A MOIST COUGH >> Steve: MOIST COUGH. >> Jimmy: MOVING ON, I READ
THAT THE WHITE HOUSE HAS SANCTIONED A WOMAN WHO IS BELIEVED TO BE VLADIMIR PUTIN'S
GIRLFRIEND [ AUDIENCE OOHS IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND
BREAKS UP WITH YOU AND SAYS, "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S THE INTERNATIONAL SANCTIONS.
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS TINDER JUST ANNOUNCED THAT
THEIR CEO IS STEPPING DOWN YEP. SHE'S BEEN THERE LESS THAN A
A YEAR, BUT IRONICALLY, IT'S STILL THE LONGEST EVER RELATIONSHIP ON TINDER
[ LAUGHTER ] YEP, SINCE IT'S TINDER, I'M SURPRISED IT WASN'T ANNOUNCED
AND THEN THE CEO DIDN'T JUST GHOST THE COMPANY. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THIS WAS NICE. ON HER LAST DAY, THE WHOLE STAFF MADE HER A GIANT COLLAGE
OF UNSOLICITED NAKED SELFIES >> Steve: AW [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS SWEET WELL, GUYS, EVERYONE LOVES TIKTOK, BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST
WANT TO SKIP THE BORING PARTS OF A VIDEO AND GET RIGHT TO THE GOOD PART.
WELL, WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU. FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ARE WATCHING THIS VIDEO, YOU CAN
SKIP THIS PART
>> Jimmy: YEP. AND JUST GO RIGHT TO -- TO
THIS
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WE'RE HERE TO HELP WE - SHE TRICKED THE DOG.
>> Steve: YEAH, TRICKED THAT DOG. >> Jimmy: REALLY TRICKED THAT
DOG. >> Steve: SHE GOT THAT DOG THAT DOG'S DUMB.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT DOG IS DUMB RIGHT?
>> Steve: THAT DOG IS DUMB, MAN. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: CAN'T FIGURE OUT NOTHING. WHACK!
>> Jimmy: IDIOT OF A DOG >> Steve: WHAT, DID THEY BUILD THEIR HOUSE WRONG?
HOW DID THEY - >> Jimmy: LET ME GIVE YOU ANOTHER EXAMPLE.
DURING THIS PRODUCTION OF "PETER PAN," YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART
[ CRASH [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WOW! THAT'S AN ENTRANCE THAT'S AN ENTRANCE RIGHT THERE
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. AND THIS ONE
OH, MAN, THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE HERE'S THE FINAL EXAMPLE
YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART
>> CHEER, CHEERS >> Jimmy: YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT
[ LAUGHTER ] AND YOU GO RIGHT TO THIS PART.
>> Steve: OH
[ APPLAUSE ] OH OH
OH, MOIST COUGH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, LOOSE COUGH. [ CLEARING THROAT
SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS. WARNER BROS. SPENT $90 MILLION ON ITS UPCOMING "BATGIRL"
MOVIE. BUT FOLLOWING POOR TEST AUDIENCE REVIEWS, THEY DECIDED
NOT TO RELEASE IT ANYWHERE >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: I'VE GOT TO SAY, IF
THIS IS PART OF A MARKETING SCHEME, IT'S WORKING 'CAUSE NOW I REALLY WANT TO SEE
THIS MOVIE [ LAUGHTER ] I MEAN, THIS IS ROUGH.
I MEAN, THERE'S A TV SERIES ABOUT ALFRED THE BUTLER, BUT THIS IS WHERE THEY DREW THE
LINE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HOW BAD COULD IT BE?
I MEAN, NOT ONLY DID "CATS" GET RELEASED, IT WAS IN THEATERS FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WELL, WE ASKED WARNER BROS. TO SEND OVER THE BEST PARTS OF THE
MOVIE SO WE COULD JUDGE FOR OURSELVES. AND THIS IS WHAT WE GOT.
>> Jimmy: OH, THERE YOU ARE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YEP.
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS, LISTEN TO THIS
I READ THAT CNN IS REALLY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW AS THEIR RATINGS HAVE PLUMMETED NEARLY
30% SINCE LAST YEAR. THE BAD NEWS IS CNN HAD TO REPORT THE STORY
THE GOOD NEWS IS NOBODY REALLY SAW IT [ LAUGHTER ]
APPARENTLY CNN IS LOSING SO MUCH MONEY THEY JUST TOOK WOLF BLITZER AND
ANDERSON COOPER TO A PAWNSHOP AND TRIED TO SELL THEM AS SILVER
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHAT >> Jimmy: YEAH
GUYS, WE'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON THE NEWS
SO TO MAKE THINGS SEEM A LITTLE LIGHTER, WE TOOK SOME NEWS CLIPS AND PUT A SNAPCHAT FILTER
ON THEM. IT'S TIME FOR "FILTERED NEWS." CHECK THIS OUT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * FILTERED NEWS *
* >>> TWO TOP AIDES TO FORMER VICE PRESIDENT PENCE HAVE NOW
TESTIFIED BEFORE A FEDERAL GRAND JURY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> IN WASHINGTON, PRESIDENT BIDEN IS IN ISOLATION AGAIN AFTER ANOTHER POSITIVE
COVID TEST OVER THE WEEKEND. >> SOURCES SAY THE HOMELAND SECURITY INSPECTOR GENERAL
FIRST LEARNED OF MISSING SECRET SERVICE TEXTS IN MAY OF 2021 >> THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS
EXPECTED TO RAISE INTEREST RATES FOR THE FOURTH TIME THIS YEAR
>> IN WASHINGTON, A TROUBLING REPORT ON THE U.S. ECONOMY IS RAISING NEW CONCERNS ABOUT A
A RECESSION. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SOX ARE FALLING APART
BUT LET'S BUILD FOR THE FUTURE OF THE LEAST >> JOHN, THAT WAS EXPERT WORK.
YOU TURN THE MEGA MILLIONS INTO BOOK PROMOTION, THEN INTO RED SOX PROMOTION.
>> CNN CAN NOW REVEAL HOW RUSSIA STOPPED DEMOCRATIC CHANGE OVER 6,000 MILES AWAY IN
SUDAN. >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO THAT'S RIGHT
THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HEY, YOU GUYS, GET THIS.
IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT PRIVATE COMPANIES FLYING TO THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
WILL HAVE TO BE CHAPERONED BY A FORMER NASA ASTRONAUT. YEP, SPACE CHAPERONES.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THEY MAKE SURE EVERYONE KEEPS THEIR ROCKET IN THEIR POCKET
[ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE THEY'LL HAVE THAT ONE FUN CHAPERONE WHO WAS LIKE,
"HEY, I SPIKED THE TANG. [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, IT'S NOW THE
MIDDLE OF SUMMER AND OBVIOUSLY THEY BIG TREND OF SUMMER '22 IS, OF COURSE,
COASTAL GRANDMAS EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT. YOU'VE GOT GRANDMAS IN
MONTERREY, GRANDMAS IN THE HAMPTONS, CAPE COD I'M TALKING FLOPPY HATS, LINEN
OUTFITS, GIANT SUNGLASSES. IT IS THE BIGGEST THING. IN FACT, IT'S THE HOTTEST SONG
IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, AND WE'RE ABOUT TO DEBUT THE MUSIC VIDEO.
SO HERE IT IS, THE WORLD PREMIERE OF "COASTAL GRANDMA" WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM
JANE FONDA
* * YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOUR BODY'S DOING TO M IT'S LIKE ALL YOUR COOL COMES NATURALLY *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * TELL ME WHAT YOU CALL THI I'M IN AGONY *
>> COASTAL GRANDMOTHER * OH OKAY OH OH OKAY *
* STATEMENT NECKLAC FLOPPY HAT BREEZE IN YOUR LINEN PANTS *
* AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THA NOTHING WRON
WITH THAT * * YOUR GARDENING GLOVES THEY JUST DRIVE ME CRAZY
ONLY YOU COULD WEAR 18 SHADE OF BEIGE AND NAVY * * OPEN CONCEPT KITCHE
SENSIBLE SHOES DIVORCE YOUR HUSBAND AND THEN BINGE "THE VIEW" *
* GO TO THE BEACH AND PUT SOME SHELLS IN A JAR PUT IT IN THE BATHROOM *
* NEAR THE TOWEL BA NEAR THE TOWEL BAR * * COASTAL GRANDMA
$5 CHECK IN THE MAIL COASTAL GRANDM SHE'S FINE AS HELL *
* COASTAL GRANDMA IT'S PLAIN TO SEE * * COASTAL GRANDMA
GOT ME EATIN DINNER AT 3:00 * * COASTAL GRANDMA
OH YEA COASTAL GRANDMA * *
>> NOW, ANYBODY NEED A TUMS? HMM? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OUR THANKS TO JANE FONDA HER NEW MOVE, "LUCK," WILL
PREMIERE ON APPLE TV+ THIS FRIDAY WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * >> Jimmy: HEY.
HEY, EVERYONE. I WANT TO QUICKLY MENTION, NEXT TUESDAY, AUGUST 9th, WILL BE
THE SEASON PREMIERE OF MY NEW SHOW ON NBC, "PASSWORD." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: WHOA >> Jimmy: YEAH IT AIRS AT 10:00 P.M
KEKE PALMER IS THE HOST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THERE'S LOTS OF CELEBRITY
GUESTS TUNE IN TO NBC NEXT TUESDAY, AUGUST 9th, AT 10:00 P.M. RIGHT
AFTER "AGT." IT'S A FUN SHOW, EVERYBODY [ APPLAUSE ]
SPEAKING OF FUN SHOWS, HE STARS IN THE NEW HORROR FILM "THEY/THEM," WHICH PREMIERES
THIS FRIDAY ON PEACOCK, AND SEASON THREE OF THE SERIES "CITY ON A HILL" IS STREAMING
NOW ON SHOWTIME. KEVIN BACON IS HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: COME ON. COME ON! >> Jimmy: A LEGEND
ONE OF MY FAVES. >> Steve: THE BEST, THE BEST >> Jimmy: WHAT A GREAT GUEST
PLUS, HE IS CURRENTLY ON HIS "FUNNY IS FUNNY" WORLD TOUR, AND HE ALSO STARS IN THE NEW
MOVIE "EASTER SUNDAY," WHICH IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. JO KOY IS HERE TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE'VE GOT GREAT STAND-UP FROM KATHERINE BLANFORD,
EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOAH
>> Jimmy: RIGHT NOW GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW" HASHTAGS
HERE WE GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* HASHTAG HASHTAGS * *
>> Jimmy: NOW, WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND I ASK YOU GUYS TO
RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. SO THIS WEEK I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG #ADDAWORDRUINAPRODUCT.
I ASKED YOU TO TAKE A PRODUCT AND ADD ONE WORD TO CHANGE THE MEANING.
WITHIN MINUTES, IT WAS A A TRENDING TOPIC IN THE U.S. SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG
[ APPLAUSE ] NOW I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE
#ADDAWORDRUINAPRODUCT TWEETS FROM YOU GUYS. THIS FIRST IS FROM
@MELISSAMURACO SHE SAYS, "JOHNSON & BORIS JOHNSON.
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE IS FROM @CHRIST0PHRR. HE SAYS, "PEEPING TOM'S
DEODORANT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LUCKILY IT STILL DOESN'T REALLY
WORK THIS ONE IS FROM @JENTUSCH SHE SAYS, "HONEY NUT SACK
CHEERIOS." >> Steve: OOH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"HONEY NUT SACK CHEERIOS?" [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
WHAT WAS THAT? >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T JUST SAY IT >> Steve: WHAT DID SHE SAY
>> Jimmy: NUTTIN', HONEY [ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE -- THIS ONE IS FROM
@DANIMAL941. >> Steve: OOH. [ GROWLING ]
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR NAME DAN -- IMAL.
THIS IS MY MAN, DANIMAL. [ LAUGHTER ] OH, THIS IS INTERESTING.
>> Steve: OH, IS IT A GOOD ONE >> Jimmy: YEAH YOU KNOW INSOLES, LIKE
DR. SCHOLL'S >> Steve: YEAH, YEAH SOMETHING THAT KEEPS YOUR
FEET -- LIKE, STAND ON >> Jimmy: READY TO RUIN INSOLES?
>> Steve: HOW? >> Jimmy: "LEGO INSOLES. THERE YOU GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT HURTS
OW >> Steve: DAN! >> Jimmy: OW
>> Jimmy: DANIMAL, DON'T HURT HIM. >> Steve: DANIMAL.
>> Jimmy: PLEASE, DANIMAL, DON'T HURT 'EM [ COUGHING ]
DO YOU HAVE A LOOSE COUGH? >> Steve: LOOSE COUGH. >> Jimmy: OKAY
THIS ONE HERE IS FROM @CHEYTATTOOS SHE SAYS, "I'M PREGO."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CONGRATULATIONS. >> Steve: HEY!
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. >> Steve: IT'S NOT YOURS >> Jimmy: IT'S IN THERE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE IS FROM @STARFLEETMOM SHE SAYS, "DAVE AND BALL
BUSTERS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, MY GOD
WHAT >> Jimmy: DAVE AND -- YOU CAN'T SUBMIT ANY OF THESE.
>> Steve: I CAN'T SUBMIT ANY OF THESE? >> Jimmy: NO, THESE ARE FOR
THE -- >> Steve: YOU TURNED ALL MINE DOWN
>> Jimmy: THIS IS FOR THE PUBLIC >> Steve: "NUT SACK CHEERIOS"
AND "BALL BUSTERS. JUDAS PRIEST IT'S A FAMILY SHOW
>> Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE IS HERE FROM @MICHAEL1701. HE SAYS, "REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER
ATHLETIC CUPS. THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW"
HASHTAGS TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO
TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS STICK AROUND WE'RE DOING SOMETHING FUN, AS
WE ALWAYS DO, WITH KEVIN BACON WHEN WE COME BACK. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.
STICK AROUND * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Announcer: THE EARLY 1980s SAW THE RISE OF AN EXCITING NEW ROCK GENRE CALLED
"NEW WAVE," AND ONE DUO WAS AT THE FOREFRONT. ROLAND ORZABAL AND CURT SMITH
AND THEIR BAND, "TEARS FOR FEARS. IN 1985, TEARS FOR FEARS
RELEASED THEIR ALBUM, "SONGS FROM THE BIG CHAIR," WHICH INCLUDED THE SMASH HIT, "HEAD
OVER HEELS." WITH ICONIC MELODIES AND THOUGHTFUL LYRICS, THE TRACK
WOULD LIVE ON AS ONE OF THE GREAT ROCK SONGS OF ALL TIME BUT AMERICA NEVER HEARD ITS
FIRST DRAFT UNTIL NOW.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * I WANTED TO B WITH YOU ALONE
TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER * * THERE'S RAIN UP IN SEATTL SO IF YOU'RE GOING OUT
YOU MIGHT NEED AN UMBRELLA * * GOT A DEGRE IN METEOROLOGY
TO TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER * * ACCORDING TO THE DEW POIN THE HUMIDITY'S U
AS THE TEMPERATURES CLIM THAT'S JUST JUST JUST * * SUMMERTIM
FOR THE WEATHE YOU CAN CALL TEARS FOR FEARS WE'LL CHECK THE RADAR *
* IF THE SKIES WILL BE CLEA WARM FRONT'S COMIN SO THE CLOUDS DISAPPEA
WITH A GENTLE BREEZE * * 80 DEGREE LET'S LET'
LOOK AT THE FOUR-DAY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* FORECAST FOUR DAY FORECAST FOUR DAYS * * AFTER THE SPORTSCAS
THEN THE FORECAST BEGINS AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER *
* THERE'S LOW FOG OVERNIGHT SO IF YOU GO FOR A WAL YOU YOU YOU YO
MIGHT NEED A SWEATER * * COLD AIR IS RISIN FORMING CUMULUS CLOUDS
THAT'S BAROMETRIC PRESSURE * * BUT THE JET STREAM MOVE THE CLOUDS OUT
BY YOUR MORNING COMMUT OH, YOU'LL FEEL THE SUN * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * AND THIS IS M FOUR-DAY FORECAS
LOOK AT THE MA DON'T NEED AN APP * * THIS IS M
FOUR-DAY FORECAS DA DA-DA DOPP-LE DA-DA-DA DOPP-LER *
* DA DA DA DA DOPP-LE DA DA-DA DOPP-LE DA-DA-DA DOPPLER
DA DA DA DA DOPP-LER * * DA DA-DA DOPP-LER DA-DA-DA DOPPLER
LOOKS LIKE BLUE SKIE DA DA DOPPLER * * ONE LITTLE CLOU
AND THE WEATHER IS NIC DA-DA-DA DOPP-LE FUNNY HOW SUN SHINES YEAH *
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WE GET A CALL FROM AMBLIN
AND AMBLIN'S LIKE, "HEY, WE WANT A MEETING." SO, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE GENERAL. >> Jimmy: THAT'S STEVEN'S -- YEAH
>> YEAH, IT'S STEVEN'S COMPANY I CALL HIM STEVEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS IN THE NEW HORROR FILM, "THEY/THEM," WHICH PREMIERES
THIS FRIDAY ON PEACOCK AND SEASON THREE OF THE SERIES, "CITY ON A HILL," IS STREAMING
NOW ON SHOWTIME. PLEASE WELCOME BACK KEVIN BACON, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: KEVIN BACON! THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK TO THE SHOW
THANK YOU FOR DOING FIRST DRAFTS OF ROCK >> I LOVE DOING THEM, MAN.
IT IS SO MUCH FUN. >> Jimmy: THAT -- I THINK THAT IS OUR NINTH TIME WE'VE DONE
THAT [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, ONE OF THOSE -- I
KEEP -- >> I KEEP THINKING THINGS. THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOING TO
HAVE ME DO ANOTHER FIRST DRAFT, ARE THEY [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY MUST HAVE RUN OUT OF OTHER ROCK BITS, BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT >> Jimmy: NO, AND OBVIOUSLY
NOT. AND THEY LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER, THOSE GUYS.
>> YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING FUNNY. I WAS -- I'M OUT WITH THE BAND AND THERE'S THIS GUY THAT'S
DRIVING US AND I WAS REHEARSING THE -- THE BIT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> RIGHT SO I'M LISTENING TO IT AGAIN
AND AGAIN AND AGAIN IN THE CAR AND SINGING ALONG WITH IT. HE GOES, "YOU KNOW, I NEVER
REALIZED THAT SONG WAS SO MUCH ABOUT THE WEATHER. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE, "NO, DUDE THEY WROTE THIS.
>> AND TO NOTE, "THESE ARE DIFFERENT LYRICS." THIS IS A -- THIS IS A BIT
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I FOLLOW YOU ON THE SOCIALS AND I DO LOVE -- YOU'RE ACTUALLY A GREAT
PERSON TO FOLLOW >> OH, THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOUR WIFE IS ALSO
VERY FUNNY KYRA SEDGWICK IS VERY TALENTED YOU DID THE "FOOTLOOSE"
CHALLENGE ON TIKTOK. >> YES [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH >> Jimmy: YOU, KEVIN BACON -- >> RIGHT
I DID. >> Jimmy: -- DID THE "FOOTLOOSE" CHALLENGE ON
TIKTOK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I DID
YEAH >> Jimmy: BUT BEFORE WE SHOW THIS CLIP OF YOU GUYS DOING,
DID YOU REALIZE THAT YOU AND KYRA COULD DO THIS CHALLENGE >> NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO IN FACT, I DIDN'T -- I NEVER THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS GOING TO
DO IT WITH ME. I LOOKED AT THIS THING AND -- AND IT LOOKS HARD.
I MEAN, IT LOOKS HARD. AND EVERYONE THAT'S DOING IT IS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, 25.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, I JUST
DIDN'T THINK THAT SHE WOULD BE UP FOR, YOU KNOW, BEING DROPPED, BASICALLY
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT WE'RE
DOING. >> Jimmy: WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO IT
>> I WAS GOING TO DO IT, LIKE, WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL OR WITH ONE OF OUR GOATS OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS GOING TO DO IT -- I WAS
GOING TO DO IT -- BUT SEE, I WOULD HAVE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> RIGHT, I WOULD'VE GOTTEN IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THAT.
>> Jimmy: THOSE -- THOSE STUFFED ANIMAL PEOPLE WILL REALLY GET UPSET OVER THAT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> EXACTLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
WE'VE BEEN IN TROUBLE BEFORE YEAH, YEAH >> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU SAID -- >> BUT BECAUSE I ASKED HER, I SAID, "HONEY, WOULD YOU BE DOWN
FOR THIS?" SHE WAS LIKE, "OF COURSE, OF COURSE."
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WAS, LIKE, CHALLENGED OR
WHATEVER I SAID, "OKAY, WELL, LET'S TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT."
I FOUND OUT LATER, BY THE WAY, THAT -- THAT THERE WAS A A TUTORIAL THAT WE COULD HAVE
GONE TO ON TIKTOK. [ LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF THESE
THINGS THAT YOU LOOK AT AND YOU -- IT'S HARD TO FIGURE OUT YOU'RE LIKE, "WAIT, MY LEG GOES
OVER HERE. YOUR ARM YOU DO THIS.
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, WE WERE -- IT WAS -- >> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY'RE PROS
>> I MEAN, WE SHOULD'VE FILMED THE -- YEAH, BUT YOU COULD -- YOU COULD HAVE GONE ON TIKTOK
AND FIGURED OUT THE TUTORIAL SO, I SAID, "JUST IN CASE I DROP YOU, LET'S PRACTICE ON THE
BED. SO, I ALMOST WISH WE'D SHOT THAT ONE BECAUSE THAT WAS
HILARIOUS BECAUSE WE'RE STANDING ON OUR BED IN OUR -- IN OUR BEDROOM AND I'M DROPPING
HER. AND SHE'S LIKE, "YOU DROPPED ME."
I WAS LIKE, "WELL, THANK GOD WE'RE USING A BED. >> Jimmy: THIS IS -- YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE. HERE IS KYRA AND KEVIN DOING
THE "FOOTLOOSE" TIKTOK CHALLENGE. TAKE A LOOK.
OOH THERE'S SOMETHIN TEAR UP THIS TOWEL * * NOW I GOTTA
CUT IT LOOSE FOOTLOOS KICK OFF YOUR SUNDAY SHOES *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YEAH, BUT HERE'S THE THING. I MEAN, HIGH FIVE.
THAT IS SO NOT COOL? WHO DOES A HIGH FIVE ANYMORE [ LAUGHTER ]
I MEAN, I WAIT -- >> Jimmy: HIGH FIVE -- NOW YOU HAVE TO HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER
>> CAN WE BRING IT BACK? I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE, MAYBE, IT SHOULD COME BACK BECAUSE IT'S
SO OUT THAT IT SHOULD -- I DON'T KNOW WHO DOES HIGH FIVES WHO'S
UNDER, LIKE, 60? >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> AND IT WAS SO -- IT WAS SO LIT. >> Jimmy: I'M A HIGH FIVER
>> ARE YOU >> Jimmy: YEAH >> OKAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I MEAN, YOU COULD -- YOU COULD ROCK THE HIGH FIVE
WE CAN DO A HIGH FIVE. >> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: DO WE DO A HIGH FIVE
AND WE BRING IT BACK >> OKAY, HIGH -- HIGH FIVE, YEAH
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IS THIS -- THIS IS INTERESTING,
THOUGH, BECAUSE I THINK THE HIGH FIVE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COOLER THAN THE LOW FIVE
LIKE, I THINK THAT WHEN YOU STARTED, IT WAS LIKE -- >> Jimmy: LOW FLICK.
>> -- SLAP YOUR HAND AND THEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE, "I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING REALLY COOL. WE'RE GOING UP HIGH. >> Jimmy: HIGH
WE'RE GOING REAL HIGH. IT MADE ME LAUGH TOO AT THE END THAT YOU KEPT THE HIGH FIVE IN
YOU COULD HAVE EDITED THAT OUT >> YEAH, YEAH. I DID.
I JUST DECIDED TO LET MY FREAK FLAG FLY
>> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR MOVIE, "THEY/THEM."
KEVIN, THIS IS A SCARY MOVIE >> YEAH, IT'S A SCARY MOVIE. IT'S A MOVIE SET IN A GAY
CONVERSION CAMP, AND THAT'S PROBABLY THE SCARIEST THING ABOUT IT
ALL OF THESE YOUNG PEOPLE COME TO THIS CAMP, AND THEY ARE -- AND ARE EITHER BEEN FORCED TO
BE THERE OR THEY DECIDED TO BRING THEMSELVES THERE AND THE HORROR IS THAT I THINK
THAT I CAN TRY TO MAKE THEM BE SOMETHING THAT THEY'RE NOT AND I AM -- I RUN THE CAMP
I'M THE OWNER OF THE CAMP. IT'S BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR A -- FOR A LONG TIME.
AND IT'S ALL -- IT IS WRAPPED UP IN A REALLY FUN SLASHER MOVIE.
AND IT'S VERY -- >> Jimmy: AND YOU KNOW YOUR SLASHER MOVIES
>> I DO. YEAH, I DO >> Jimmy: YOU WERE IN THE FIRST
"FRIDAY THE 13th." >> I WAS IN THE VERY FIRST "FRIDAY THE 13th" AT CAMP.
YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW YOUR STUFF. >> SO THIS IS -- SO THIS IS MY RETURN TO CAMP AND AXES AND
BLOOD AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF. >> Jimmy: IT'S FRIGHTENING,
YEAH YOU'RE ALSO VERY FRIGHTENING IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT IN A GOOD
WAY AND I LAUGH TOO. AND "CITY ON A HILL," YOU'RE SO GOOD IN THAT
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH >> Jimmy: IT'S ON ITS THIRD SEASON
AND I JUST LOVE IT I LOVE THAT BOSTON YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST A GREAT
SCENE. THE WHOLE CHARACTER IS JUST AWESOME.
WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS SEASON >> YEAH, WELL, HE'S LEFT THE
FBI, JACKIE ROHR, AND GOT KICKED OUT AND THREW HIS BADGE IN THE BOSTON HARBOR AT THE END
OF LAST SEASON >> Jimmy: YEP. >> AND NOW HE'S BASICALLY
SITTING ON THE COUCH AND WATCHING CARTOONS AND DRINKING BEER
[ LAUGHTER ] AND HIS WIFE IS LIKE, "I'VE GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: "YEAH, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DO SOMETHING, BUDDY."
YEAH >> YEAH. AND SO, HE GETS A GIG WORKING
PRIVATE SECURITY AND THINGS GO SOUTH PRETTY QUICKLY >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE IT
HERE'S KEVIN BACON IN SEASON THREE OF "CITY ON A HILL." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> YOU SAY YOU WANT TO WORK IN BEACON HILL. >> YESTERDAY, YOU SAID I WAS A
A LAZY [ BLEEP ] AND YOU COMPARED ME TO YOUR DEGENERATE FATHER AND YOU BEAT MY BALLS
LIKE SCRAMBLED EGGS. SO YEAH, TWO GRAND A WEEK CASH TO MAKE SURE THE DRYDEN'S DOORS
ARE LOCKED, THAT'S THE RIGHT DECISION >> I KNOW YOU, JACKIE.
NO, THERE'S MORE TO THIS THAN JUST THE MONEY YOU LIKE FEELING LIKE A COP
AGAIN. >> WRONG I DON'T MISS THAT LIFE A SINGLE
[ BLEEP ] BIT. >> GOOD FOR YOU. YOU GOT YOUR FIRST LIE OF THE
DAY OUT OF THE WAY [ WHISTLING >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "FIRST LIE OF THE DAY OUT OF THE WAY.
>> MY FIRST LIE OF THE DAY, NOT TO MENTION MY FIRST F-BOMB >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S 8:00 IN THE MORNING KEVIN BACON, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU CAN SEE HIM ON "CITY ON A HILL" NOW ON SHOWTIME AND
"THEY/THEM" ON PEACOCK THIS FRIDAY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
JO KOY STICK AROUND KEVIN BACON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS ONE
OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMEDIANS IN THE WORLD, WHO IS CURRENTLY ON HIS "FUNNY IS
FUNNY" WORLD TOUR. HE ALSO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "EASTER SUNDAY," WHICH IS IN
THEATERS THIS FRIDAY EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME JO KOY
* * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK JO!
OH YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH GOING ON. >> A LOT
A LOT, A LOT >> Jimmy: YOU GOT A LOT GOING ON
"EASTER SUNDAY" IS OUT THIS FRIDAY >> YES
>> Jimmy: IN THEATERS. >> UNBELIEVABLE. >> Jimmy: THIS IS A BIG DEAL
YOUR "FUNNY IS FUNNY" WORLD TOUR, SELLING OUT ARENAS >> I KNOW, I KNOW.
IT'S CRAZY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE EVEN SAYING IT -
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, IT'S SUCH A FUN RIDE TO DO ALL THIS. BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER STARTING
OUT. I MEAN, WHEN DID YOU START DOING STANDUP?
>> I STARTED IN 1989 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEP
>> Jimmy: TEENAGER >> OH, THE WORST I HAD BABY HAIR.
I HAD A LITTLE ASIAN BABY HAIR, AND I LET IT GROW FOR, LIKE, TWO WEEKS AND I USED THIS
MASCARA. BECAUSE IT WAS AT A BAR. THE BAR IS STILL THERE
IT'S ON TROPICANA AND EASTERN. I SWEAR! >> Jimmy: YOU USED MASCARA ON
YOUR WISPY MUSTACHE? >> YEAH. IT WAS SO WISPY, TOO
[ LAUGHTER ] IT WAS SO WISPY. >> Jimmy: IT WAS FLYING AROUND
>> YEAH, LIKE, WHEN THE DOORS OPENED, MY MUSTACHE OPENED TOO [ LAUGHTER ]
IT WOULD OPEN AND GO, "HELLO," AND THEN CLOSE [ LAUGHTER ]
IT WAS SO BAD. AND I REMEMBER DARKENING IT AND GOING TO THIS BAR.
I WAS, LIKE, 18, 19. AND I REMEMBER "DON'T ORDER A DRINK," BECAUSE THEY MIGHT
ASK FOR YOUR I.D I WENT UP AND I BOMBED I BOMBED SO BAD.
ALL I COULD TALK ABOUT WAS, I THINK CONDOMS? I THOUGHT THAT WAS EDGY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I WAS LIKE 18 YEARS OLD, BUYING CON -- NO ONE LAUGHED AT THE
CONDOM JOKE. THE GUY BEFORE ME WAS A LIONEL RICHIE IMPERSONATOR
HE CRUSHES IT. >> Jimmy: UGH! >> YEAH, I LOST TO A
A LIONEL RICHIE IMPERSONATOR [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT WHEN I WAS ONSTAGE, WHILE I
WAS BOMBING, MY MOUTH GOT DRY, AND MY TONGUE STARTED STICKING TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH.
AND I GO -- I STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT I WAS LIKE, "HEY, YOU EVER --
YOUR MOUTH GET SO DRY IT STICKS TO THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH? AND THIS LADY AT THE BAR GOES,
"PUT A CONDOM ON IT. [ LAUGHTER ] AND CRUSHES!
>> Jimmy: CRUSHES. >> CRUSHES CRUSHES WITH THE JOKE I BOMBED
WITH [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS LIKE SO --
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S BAD >> HUMILIATING
HOW DID IT WORK FOR YOU? I WROTE IT >> Jimmy: YEAH
GOOD DELIVERY RIGHT THERE. >> YES >> Jimmy: LOOK AT YOU NOW.
LOOK AT YOU NOW SELLING OUT ARENAS COME ON, BUDDY
COME ON, BUD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR
MOVIE. >> YES >> Jimmy: THIS IS A BIG DEAL
THIS IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY IT'S CALLED "EASTER SUNDAY."
>> UNBELIEVABLE. >> Jimmy: TELL THE STORY, IF YOU CAN, HOW -- I'LL SET YOU
UP BUT HOW IS STEVEN SPIELBERG INVOLVED IN YOUR LIFE?
AND THIS IS -- >> THIS IS -- THIS IS NUTS >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT
>> SO, MY SPECIAL CAME OUT ON NETFLIX CALLED "COMING IN HOT," AND WE GET A CALL FROM AMBLIN.
AND AMBLIN IS LIKE, "HEY, WE WANT A MEETING." SO, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS
A GENERAL. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I THOUGHT IT WAS -- YEAH,
IT'S STEVEN'S COMPANY. I CALL HIM STEVEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: STEVE! SINCE WHEN >> HEY, STEVE!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER MET HIM?
NO >> NO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: COME ON, BUD >> OH, SO GOOD OH, MY GOD
I HAVE AN EMAIL AND I'M GOING TO FRAME IT. IT'S AMAZING
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT, WHAT HAPPENED WAS THEY BROUGHT ME IN FOR --
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS SO GOOD I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW
OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, SO HE SEES YOUR SPECIAL >> WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CALL ME
OUT? >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T PLAN ON THAT. I DIDN'T PLAN THAT
SORRY. >> SO, WE GET THE CALL OKAY
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. STOP, STOP, STOP
OKAY, SO WE GET THE CALL, AND I THINK IT'S A GENERAL AND WE GO IN
AMD LITERALLY, IT'S ME AND MY MANAGER, AND IT'S LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON THAT'S WALKING UP
TO ME IS LIKE, "STEVEN CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU." "STEVEN LOVES YOUR COMEDY.
"STEVEN THINKS YOU'RE SO FUNNY. LITERALLY, STEVEN, STEVEN,
STEVEN WE GET TO THE MEETING. HOLLY AND JEB'S IN THE MEETING
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "STEVEN LOVES YOUR COMEDY. AND I'M LIKE -- I STOP THEM.
AND I'M LIKE, "LOOK, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT STEVEN FROM ACCOUNTING?"
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OR - [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
>> 'CAUSE THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT "E.T." STEVEN? >> Jimmy: THE ONE AND ONLY
>> AND THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, IT'S STEVEN." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "HE'S BEEN
TELLING EVERYONE TO WATCH YOUR SPECIAL AND HE LOVES YOU AND HE WANTS TO MAKE A MOVIE WITH YOU
AND WHAT MOVIE IDEA YOU HAVE?" AND I PITCHED "EASTER SUNDAY" IN THE ROOM.
THEY BOUGHT IT IN THE ROOM AND THEN LITERALLY WE WENT TO LUNCH --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S CRAZY WE WENT TO LUNCH AND EVEN THEN
WE'RE LIKE, "OKAY, THIS ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. AND THEN WE GO TO LUNCH AND
THEN HOLLY CALLS AND IS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, WE'RE MAKING MOVES RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE GONNA LOOK -- FIND -- FOR A WRITER WE'RE GOING TO START LOOKING
FOR YOUR DIRECTOR. AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT? AND THEN THE PANDEMIC HIT.
EVERYTHING SHUT DOWN I'M LIKE, "OH, THERE WE GO." YEAH, HERE GOES THAT DREAM
IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AND THEY DIDN'T CARE THEY'RE LIKE, "WHEN SOMETHING
OPENS UP, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS MOVIE." AND VANCOUVER OPENED UP, AND
RIGHT AWAY >> Jimmy: HE MADE IT >> HE MADE THE MOVIE, YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: EIGHT MONTHS LATER >> EIGHT MONTHS LATER.
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT A GREAT DIRECTOR >> JAY CHANDRASEKHAR
>> Jimmy: JAY CHANDRASEKHAR IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST DUDES OUT THERE.
>> AND I WAS WITH HIM LAST NIGHT AND HE SAID HE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU SO
MUCH >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT DUDE, MAN.
HE'S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST DUDES EVER, MAN. >> INCREDIBLE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT A GREAT STORY YOU'RE MAKING SOME HISTORY HERE
FOR -- TELL EVERYONE WHAT "EASTER SUNDAY" IS ALL ABOUT >> WELL, IT'S JUST -- IT'S A
A FAMILY IT'S MY FAMILY IT'S LIKE, YEAH, WE'RE
FILIPINO AND IT'S SPECIFICALLY FILIPINO BUT IT'S NOT SPECIFIC, YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN? IT'S PEOPLE THAT WE LIVE WITH. WE'RE ALL IN HERE RIGHT NOW,
WE'RE HANGING OUT. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THE LIGHTS ARE OFF, WE'RE
ALL THE SAME COLOR [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YOU TURN THE LIGHTS ON, ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'RE SEPARATE. AND IT DOESN'T MAKES SENSE
SO THAT'S WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT. IT'S JUST A STORY ABOUT
A FAMILY THAT HAPPENS TO BE FILIPINO WE'RE GOING TO LAUGH ABOUT IT.
WE'RE GOING TO CRY WE'RE GOING TO ENJOY THEIR PAIN
WE'RE GOING TO ENJOY THEIR JOY AND YOU'RE GOING TO REALIZE THAT A MOTHER IS A MOTHER, A
A SON IS A SON, AND A FAMILY IS A FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT I WANT TO SHOW -- I WANT TO
SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S JO KOY AND TIFFANY HADDISH IN "EASTER
SUNDAY." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
JOE?
IS THAT YOU, JOE?! >> VANESSA >> YES
>> WOW MAN, YOU'RE A COP NOW? >> YEAH, HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST
TEN YEARS. YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GHOSTED ME
THE WAY YOU DID. >> YEAH. >> IS THIS YOUR DAD?
>> YEAH. >> YOU KNOW ME AND YOUR DADDY, WE USED TO BE REAL INTIMATE
BACK IN THE DAY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, REALLY?
>> BUT I COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR MOM. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT CLEARLY I'M NOT. I'M NOT. JOE VALENCIA
>> YES >> I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IN A SUBARU AT THAT.
WHAT HAPPENED? YOU JUST GAVE UP, HUH? [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAW THIS SUBARU, I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF, "THAT GOT TO BE TWO
LADIES AND A LABRADOODLE." [ LAUGHTER ] BUT NOPE
IT'S YOU, JOE. >> YEAH, IT'S ME >> IT'S YOU, JOE
>> IT'S ME VANESSA >> GET THE HELL OUT THE CAR. >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JO KOY, EVERYBODY. "EASTER SUNDAY" IS IN THEATERS
THIS FRIDAY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STANDUP FROM
KATHERINE BLANFORD STICK AROUND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS
HER COMEDY ALBUM "SALT DADDY" AVAILABLE ON APPLE MUSIC MAKING HER TELEVISION DEBUT,
PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY KATHERINE BLANFORD
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> OH! THIS IS SO COOL! OH, MY GOD
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I GREW UP A A WEIRD KID. AND MY PARENTS WANTED ME TO BE
NORMAL SO BAD. SO THEY MADE ME PICK A SPORT SO I PICKED CROSS COUNTRY
BECAUSE IT WAS THE CLOSEST THING TO BEING A HORSE [ LAUGHTER ]
IT WAS A THING AND THEN A MILE INTO EVERY RACE, I WOULD REMEMBER, "OH, I
HATE RUNNING I'M MORE OF A SHOW PONY. RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, I WOULD FAKE PASS OUT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I GOT REALLY GOOD AT IT. I WOULD DO A COUPLE LITTLE LAZY TWIRLS
AND THEN ON THE WAY DOWN, I WOULD GRAB A GIRL'S HAIR FOR WITNESS.
[ LAUGHTER ] REMEMBER ME. AND MY MOM GOT WORRIED
SHE WAS LIKE, "KATHERINE, I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A A CARDIOLOGIST FOR YOUR
FAINTING," BECAUSE MY MOTHER BELIEVED IN ME TOO MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I DIDN'T TELL HER I WAS FAKING IT.
I LET THEM RUN HOURS OF TESTS ON ME. AND THEN THIS SWEET LITTLE
HEART DOCTOR TOLD MY MOTHER AND I THAT I WAS HIS FIRST PATIENT THAT HE EVER DIAGNOSED WITH
A PERSONALITY DISORDER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE HERE'S THE BEST PART, THOUGH
HE STILL GAVE ME AN INHALER. [ LAUGHTER ] HE WAS LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW
IT COULD BE ALLERGIES, BUT IT'S PROBABLY NARCISSISM. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
NOW GO AHEAD GO AHEAD, TAKE A LITTLE PUFF OF THIS AIR MILK EVERY TIME YOU'RE
HAVING A HARD TIME NOT BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN I JUST BECAME AN INHALER KID. AND INHALERS ARE GOOD.
THEY HELP YOU NOT LOSE YOUR BREATH OR YOUR VIRGINITY [ LAUGHTER ]
SO IT WAS A HARD CHILDHOOD BUT NOW I'M DOING GREAT. I'M TOO CUTE, TOO CUTE TO BE
DOING COMEDY I SHOULD BE SELLING MEDICAL EQUIPMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ] BEFORE COMEDY THOUGH, I WAS A NANNY, BECAUSE I'M PASSIONATE
ABOUT EATING RICH PEOPLE'S FOOD [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SOMETIMES THE PARENTS WOULD MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT HOW QUICKLY THE FRIDGE EMPTIED
AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, OKAY. HOLD ON. FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A A STAY-AT-YOUR-HOME MOTHER." [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY WERE A WEALTHY FAMILY IN THE SOUTH, SO ALL THEIR KIDS WERE NAMED AFTER NATURE.
I HAD A LILY, I HAD A FORREST, AND I HAD A TREASURE MAP III [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I WAS A GREAT NANNY, THOUGH, BECAUSE I LEARNED FROM HAVING A GREAT MOM.
AND I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY MOM. SHE PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS 22
YEARS OLD. IT'S HARD TO SAY A JOKE AFTER THIS NOW BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE
THINKING IT'S SAD THAT I'M OLDER THAN 22 AND I STILL DRESS LIKE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DRESS LIKE A MALE FIGURE SKATER FROM 1994
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE BUT I STILL HEAR FROM MY MOM YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'VE EVER GOTTEN A SIGN FROM UP ABOVE, BUT THE OTHER DAY, I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE INTERSTATE
JUST SCROLLING THROUGH INSTAGRAM -- [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I SAW THIS AD FOR DISCOUNTED BOTOX SO, I JUST COMMENTED, "UGH
OKAY, MOM! [ LAUGHTER ] MY MOM WAS A NURSE FOR A
A PLASTIC SURGEON. AND WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, MY MOTHER TOLD ME I NEEDED BOTOX.
BECAUSE SOMETIMES A MOTHER'S TOUCH HURTS. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SHE WOULD COME HOME WITH THESE LITTLE VIALS OF EXPIRED BOTOX, AND THEN SHE WOULD CHASE
ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A A SYRINGEFUL YEAH, IT WAS OUR LITTLE GAME
WE CALLED IT FREEZE TAG. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE INSTEAD OF COUNTING TO TEN, YOU
JUST STAY FROZEN FOR THREE TO FOUR MONTHS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BUT I AM OBSESSED WITH INSTAGRAM. MY FRIENDS AND I, WE'RE
OBSESSED WITH THOSE INFLUENCERS THAT'LL GO TO TULUM, MEXICO, AND THEY'LL TAKE A YACHT
EXCURSION. SO WE WERE LIKE, "WE'VE GOT TO DO THAT.
SO, WE PUT ALL OF OUR MONEY TOGETHER AND WE WENT TO FORT LAUDERDALE.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND WE WANTED TO TAKE A YACHT EXCURSION, SO WE FOUND A MAN ON
CRAIGSLIST TO TAKE US ON HIS PONTOON INTO THE OCEAN, WHERE YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY
AND THAT DOES SOUND SKETCHY BUT WE KNEW WE WERE SAFE BECAUSE HIS NAME WAS SALT DADDY.
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, WE KNEW HE HAD DAUGHTERS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
HE WAS GREAT HE POURED US DRINKS AND HE PLAYED US MUSIC, AND WE DID
WHAT GOOD LITTLE WHITE GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO WE WERE TWERKING TO TIM McGRAW
[ LAUGHTER ] AND WE WERE FEELING SO CUTE BECAUSE SALT DADDY WAS TAKING
A LOT OF VIDEOS. [ LAUGHTER ] JUST BEING A CLASSIC DAD, YOU
KNOW, FILMING ALL THE PROUD MOMENTS ON HIS iPAD. AND THEN RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT,
THIS HUGE BOAT PULLED UP, AND IT WAS FULL OF THESE JUST GORGEOUS WOMEN
AND SALT DADDY WAS ABOUT TO GET ON THEIR BOAT. AND I REALIZED, I WAS LIKE,
"WAIT, I'M NOT READY FOR A NEW MOM YET. SO, I PULLED MY BEST MOVE, AND
I FAKE PASSED OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT ON THE WAY DOWN, I FOR REAL
FELL OVERBOARD AND AS I WAS GOING UNDER, I COULD HEAR EVERYBODY SHOUTING
MY NAME. AND I SAW SALT DADDY DIVE IN TO SAVE ME.
AND MY LUNGS STARTED TO FILL UP WITH WATER, AND THEN MY HEART STARTED TO FILL UP WITH ALL THE
ATTENTION I WAS GETTING. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED,
"OH, I SHOULD HAVE JOINED THE SWIM TEAM. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'VE BEEN KATHERINE BLANFORD *
>> Jimmy: SHE BELIEVED IN YOU TOO MUCH I LOVE THAT.
KATHERINE BLANFORD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE KATHERINE BLANFORD
"SALT DADDY" IS AVAILABLE ON APPLE MUSIC. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
KEVIN BACON, JO KOY, JANE FONDA, KATHERINE BLANFORD RIGHT HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND OF COURSE THE ROOTS FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE