1 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,578 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,113 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:21,187 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - SUSAN SARANDON 4 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:25,892 JULIO TORRES MUSICAL GUEST, FLETCHER, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:32,499 ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1704 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:38,338 Questlove: 1704 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:52,218 * * 8 00:00:52,218 --> 00:01:03,930 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY 9 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:08,835 THANK YOU AND WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." YOU'RE HERE. 10 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:13,073 YOU MADE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 11 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:18,345 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS GUYS, TODAY THE BIDENS HOSTED 12 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:24,384 THE OBAMAS FOR THE UNVEILING OF THEIR WHITE HOUSE PORTRAITS. YEAH 13 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,353 THE UNVEILING OF THE PORTRAITS TOOK SO LONG BECAUSE THEY SPENT THE LAST SIX MONTHS IN THE 14 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:34,160 BASEMENT OF MAR-A-LAGO [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THE OBAMAS WERE 15 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,096 AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THE PORTRAIT UNVEILING, AND IT'S A A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN I 16 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,998 A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. WATCH THIS 17 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:44,371 ALL SET 18 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:50,377 HERE WE GO [ AUDIENCE OOHS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 19 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,013 Jimmy: 'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONE THEY WENT WITH Steve: GOODNESS 20 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:56,516 Jimmy: YEAH CAN WE SEE THE ACTUAL PORTRAITS? 21 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,586 THIS IS REAL THESE ARE REAL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 22 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,755 YEAH YEAH TO SUM IT UP, SHE LOOKS LIKE 23 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,823 AMERICAN ROYALTY HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S LOOKING FOR A JOB ON LINKEDIN. 24 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,559 [ LAUGHTER ] CAN WE -- CAN WE SEE THAT PORTRAIT 25 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,629 LOOK AT -- LOOK AT BARACK'S PORTRAIT [ LAUGHTER ] 26 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,965 IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO INTRODUCE THE NEW iPHONE HE'S LIKE, "I'M A MAC AND HE'S 27 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:17,937 A PC." [ LAUGHTER ] "48 MEGAPIXEL. 28 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:22,208 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BARACK WAS LIKE, "GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT COULD DOUBLE AS 29 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,679 A PASSPORT PHOTO, IF YOU DON'T MIND." [ LAUGHTER ] 30 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,480 I MEAN, COME ON, EVEN THE SCHOOL PICTURE LASER BACKGROUND WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN 31 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,717 WHAT - [ LAUGHTER ] COME ON. 32 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,387 THAT'S WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH WELL, GET THIS, ACCORDING TO A 33 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,256 A NEW BOOK, TRUMP ONCE OWED A LAWYER $2 MILLION, AND HE TRIED TO PAY WITH THE DEED TO 34 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:43,630 A HORSE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S HOW CRAZY TRUMP'S LIFE 35 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,932 IS THERE ARE 100 TELL-ALL BOOKS, AND SOMEHOW THERE'S STILL MORE 36 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:51,104 TO TELL. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING [ LAUGHTER ] 37 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,239 SPEAKING OF TRUMP, I READ THAT WHEN THE FBI SEARCHED MAR-A-LAGO, THEY SEIZED 38 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:58,812 MATERIAL THAT HAD INFORMATION ON A FOREIGN COUNTRY'S NUCLEAR CAPABILITIES 39 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:02,215 AFTER THE NEWS BROKE, A FOX NEWS HOST SUGGESTED THAT TRUMP MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO 40 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,184 SELL THE INFORMATION TRUMP WAS LIKE, "HYPOTHETICALLY, HOW MANY 41 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:11,925 HORSES DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE WORTH?" [ LAUGHTER ] 42 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:16,296 A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS TOMORROW, FORMER TRUMP AIDE, 43 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,064 STEVE BANNON, WHO IS APPARENTLY FACING A NEW CRIMINAL INDICTMENT, IS EXPECTED TO TURN 44 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:23,536 HIMSELF IN TO NEW YORK STATE PROSECUTORS. YEAH 45 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:28,675 CAN WE SEE STEVE BANNON AGAIN? YEAH, THAT -- THAT - [ LAUGHTER ] 46 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,611 THAT'S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE BEFORE PRISON. [ LAUGHTER ] 47 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,646 SOME TECH NEWS TODAY APPLE LAUNCHED THE iPHONE 14, AND THE EARLY 48 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:38,218 REVIEWS ON IT ARE FANTASTIC. APPARENTLY IT GOT AN EIGHT-MINUTE STANDING OVATION 49 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:45,492 AT THE VENICE FILM FESTIVAL. [ LAUGHTER ] * 50 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:49,529 Steve: COME ON! COME ON! Jimmy: EIGHT MINUTES. 51 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,165 UNBELIEVABLE Steve: EIGHT-MINUTE STANDING OVATION. 52 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,134 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] FOR AN iPHONE. Jimmy: AT THE VENICE FILM 53 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,736 FESTIVAL OH, MY GOSH. [ LAUGHTER ] 54 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,105 THE NEW iPHONE - [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: COME ON, THAT'S 55 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,674 A GOOD JOKE. Jimmy: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT YEAH 56 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:04,110 THE NEW iPHONE - Steve: COME ON, PEOPLE. Jimmy: THE NEW iPHONE PRO 57 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,913 COMES IN FOUR NEW COLORS HERE ARE THE COLORS. YEAH, OOH. 58 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,349 Steve: OH, WOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THE NEW COLORS ARE 59 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,385 DARTH VADER, R2-D2, C-3P0 -- [ LAUGHTER ] -- AND TINKY WINKY 60 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:17,957 [ LAUGHTER ] VERY -- IT'S FASCINATING THAT'S RIGHT, APPLE UNVEILED 61 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:21,795 THE NEW iPHONE 14 TODAY. Tariq: I DON'T KNOW WHAT EVERYONE JUST USES THE SAME 62 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:26,800 TYPE OF PHONE FOR. Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT KIND OF PHONE DO YOU HAVE 63 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,737 Tariq: IT'S A, YOU KNOW, AN ENRON T-MINUS-PLUS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 64 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,839 Jimmy: I THOUGHT -- I THOUGHT -- I THOUGHT ENRON DIDN'T EXIST ANYMORE 65 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:37,310 Tariq: THEY'RE BACK [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY MAKE PHONES NOW 66 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:41,681 LIKE, ANYTHING YOU CAN DO ON AN iPHONE, I CAN DO ON THIS THING EXCEPT TEXT. 67 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:45,085 OR GO ON THE INTERNET. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WAIT, IT CAN'T EVEN 68 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:48,321 TEXT Tariq: DON'T NEED TO, JIMMY WHEN YOU GOT AN AMAZING SERVICE 69 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,858 LIKE I DO. THE ENRON T-MINUS-PLUS HAS 1G TECHNOLOGY 70 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,895 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT'S 1G? MY PHONE HAS 5G. 71 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,797 Tariq: 1G IS JUST LIKE 5G, EXCEPT I ONLY GET RECEPTION WHEN I'M IN AN OPEN FIELD, OR 72 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:06,639 NEAR A VERY POWERFUL MICROWAVE [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK I'M 73 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,174 GONNA HAVE TO JUST STICK WITH THE PHONE THAT I HAVE. THANK YOU THOUGH 74 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:11,044 Tariq: YOUR LOSS. THE ENRON T-MINUS-PLUS EVEN HAS A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT, JUST LIKE 75 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:17,751 SIRI HIS NAME IS RITCHIE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 76 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,619 HEY, RITCHIE, CAN YOU -- CAN YOU TELL ME THE CAPITAL OF BELGIUM? 77 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:23,757 I'M TIRED [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I -- I -- I DON'T 78 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,159 KNOW, THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A A GREAT PHONE TO ME. UP YOURS, JIMMY 79 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:30,530 [ LAUGHTER ] Tariq: THIS PHONE'S THE BEST 80 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:35,969 RITCHIE, YOU'RE FUNNY, MAN I'M TIRED Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, TARIQ AND 81 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,771 THE ENRON T-MINUS-PLUS, EVERYONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 82 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:45,078 I'M TIRED Jimmy: I KNOW, I HEARD, "I'M TIRED. 83 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:50,316 GUYS, LISTEN TO THIS JUUL HAS AGREED TO PAY OVER $400 MILLION TO SETTLE A 84 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:54,154 A LAWSUIT. JUUL -- NOT THE SINGER I'M TALKING ABOUT THE 85 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:58,858 E-CIGARETTE, YEAH, SORRY $400 MILLION TO SETTLE A A LAWSUIT THAT THEY WERE 86 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:03,329 ILLEGALLY MARKETING VAPING PRODUCTS TO CHILDREN [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 87 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,265 YEP, THAT'S NOT ALLOWED, NO. BUT I THINK THEY'RE STILL TRYING TO GET KIDS TO BUY 88 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,067 JUULS. IT'S ODD -- CHECK OUT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT I SAW THE 89 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:07,467 IT'S ODD -- CHECK OUT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT I SAW THE OTHER DAY. 90 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:11,037 FOR SOMETHING THAT CAN SHINE LIGHT INTO THE CAVE? 91 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:17,444 A RUBBER DUCK A FLASHLIGHT A REFRESHING MINT JUUL 92 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:22,582 [ LAUGHTER ] DID YOU SAY, "REFRESHING MINT JUUL"? 93 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,318 MUY BIEN Jimmy: YEAH, NO, YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? 94 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:31,758 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE -- [ APPLAUSE ] 95 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:36,129 WELL, SOME NEWS FROM OVERSEAS -- ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, RUSSIA IS NOW BUYING 96 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,532 MILITARY SUPPLIES FROM NORTH KOREA. YEAH, RUSSIA IS ASKING 97 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,902 NORTH KOREA FOR HELP TELL US YOU'RE LOSING THE WAR WITHOUT TELLING US YOU'RE 98 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:48,441 LOSING THE WAR [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, I SAW THAT ANOTHER 99 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:50,677 CRYPTOCURRENCY CRASH COULD BE COMING, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE PRETTY WORRIED 100 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:54,914 WELL LUCKILY, THERE'S A NEW PRODUCT TO HELP WITH THAT. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS COMMERCIAL 101 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:01,588 BURN, NAUSEA, AND AN UPSET STOMACH, ALL BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR LIFE SAVINGS ON CRYPTO? 102 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,190 INTRODUCING CRYPTO-BISMOL. [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS HIT HARD BY THE RECENT 103 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,627 CRYPTO CRASH I DID EVERYTHING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO 104 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,097 I HIRED A GREAT BUSINESS MANAGER, HE'S 15-YEARS-OLD, AND HUGE ON FORTNITE 105 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,533 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD I TAKE CRYPTO-BISMOL. 106 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:17,771 I POURED ALL MY MONEY INTO SOMETHING CALLED "DANK COIN. WHAT IS DANK COIN? 107 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:23,076 I STILL DON'T KNOW THAT'S WHY I USE CRYPTO-BISMOL CRYPTO-BISMOL SOOTHES YOUR 108 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:27,714 ANXIETY AFTER YOU WASTED YOUR KID'S COLLEGE FUND ON A JPEG OF A ZEBRA WITH A MOHAWK AND 109 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:30,850 BRACES [ LAUGHTER ] CRYPTO-BISMOL MAY BE RIGHT FOR 110 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,752 YOU IF YOU SUFFER FROM ANY OF THE FOLLOWING CRYPTO-RELATED ILLNESSES -- 111 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:38,124 ETHEREUM DELIRIUM, FUNGIBLE FUNGUS, BITCOIN GROIN, AND PUMP AND DUMP RUMP BUMPS. 112 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:43,263 [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, CRYPTO-BISMOL, I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. 113 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,866 CRYPTO-BISMOL, NOW AVAILABLE AS AN NFT. Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S 114 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:55,809 INTERESTING, YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU GUYS SEE THIS? 115 00:07:55,809 --> 00:08:00,080 TODAY, AFTER MORE THAN TWO YEARS, NEW YORK LIFTED ITS MASK MANDATE FOR THE SUBWAY 116 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,615 Steve: OOH. Jimmy: NEW YORKERS ARE LIKE - 117 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:08,388 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NEW YORKERS ARE LIKE, "YEAH, I'M SO HAPPY THEY LIFTED THE 118 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:12,659 MANDATE THAT I STOPPED FOLLOWING A YEAR AGO." [ LAUGHTER ] 119 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,228 NOW, THE ONLY THING COVERING YOUR FACE IN THE SUBWAY WILL BE THE ARMPIT OF THE GUY STANDING 120 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,697 NEXT TO YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] "HOW YOU DOING 121 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:22,602 YOU GETTING ON THIS? YEP, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE EVERYONE'S FACES AS THEY FOLLOW 122 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,105 THE SINGLE SNAPPLE BOTTLE THAT'S BEEN ROLLING UNDER THE SEAT SINCE 1995. 123 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:33,646 [ LAUGHTER ] I HOPE THAT'S ICED TEA [ RIM SHOT ] 124 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:39,119 Steve: APPLE JUICE. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: GUYS, LISTEN TO THIS 125 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,855 NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC SCHOOLS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT FROM NOW ON, SNOW DAYS WILL BE REMOTE 126 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:47,761 LEARNING DAYS. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] DURING THE ANNOUNCEMENT, BOTH 127 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:52,665 KIDS AND PARENTS WERE LIKE, "WAIT, WHAT? NOW -- WHAT? 128 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:56,503 Jimmy: FINALLY, I HEARD THAT IN AN EFFORT TO REDUCE WASTE CAUSED BY PLASTIC ESPRESSO 129 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,171 CAPSULES, A SWISS RETAILER IS RELEASING AN ECO-FRIENDLY ALTERNATIVE CALLED "COFFEE 130 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:03,009 BALLS. Steve: NO [ AUDIENCE OOHS 131 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:06,446 OOH. Jimmy: COFFEE BALLS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU'D SUE 132 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:13,420 McDONALD'S FOR [ LAUGHTER ] IT PROBABLY EXPLAINS THE NEW 133 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:17,924 MUG I SAW, "DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I'VE HAD MY BALLS. THERE YOU GO 134 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:22,195 WE HAVE -- [ LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT 135 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,264 SUSAN SARANDON IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JULIO TORRES IS ON THE SHOW, 136 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,866 AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM FLETCHER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 137 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,735 STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK BE "BATTLE OF THE INSTANT SONG WRITERS." 138 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:33,106 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 139 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:42,282 * HANGING IN MY APARTMENT WITH MY ROOMMATE RICK * * I CATCH A PIZZA BAGEL 140 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:49,389 IN MY MOUTH AN I GET A HIGH-FIVE * * FANTASY FOOTBAL 141 00:09:49,389 --> 00:10:16,182 REGULAR LIFE Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 142 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,119 WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." [ CLAPS 143 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,455 WE LOVE SONGS. [ CLAPS WE ESPECIALLY LOVE SONGS 144 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,824 WRITTEN BY OUR AUDIENCE MEMBERS. [ CLAPS 145 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:28,628 IN UNDER AN HOUR - [ CLAPS AH, GOTCHA 146 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,030 IT'S TIME FOR "BATTLE OF THE INSTANT SONG WRITERS." HERE WE GO 147 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,402 * * SINGING THE SON AND WRITING THE SONG ABOUT 148 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:41,107 ANOTHER SONG * Jimmy: WELCOME TO "BATTLE OF THE INSTANT SONG WRITERS." 149 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,809 BEFORE THE SHOW, WE WENT THROUGH OUR AUDIENCE AND PICKED OUT TWO PEOPLE WHO SAID THAT 150 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:49,949 THEY'RE MUSICIANS. WE GAVE THEM EACH -- MADE UP SONG TITLES TO EACH OF THEM, 151 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:53,353 OKAY, AND GAVE THEM ONE HOUR TO WRITE AN ORIGINAL SONG BASED ON THAT TITLE 152 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,955 HERE'S A SHOT OF THEM PRACTICING BACKSTAGE A MINUTE AGO. 153 00:10:55,955 --> 00:11:00,326 THIS IS REAL YEAH LET'S SEE WHAT THEY COME UP 154 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,196 WITH LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS COME ON OVER, EVERYONE 155 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,598 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * NICE TO SEE YOU, BUD 156 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:11,371 WELCOME TO THE SHOW. THANK YOU Jimmy: LET'S START WITH 157 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,139 CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM 158 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,742 MY NAME IS FROM KATIE MARTUCCI I'M FROM WEST HURLEY, NEW YORK 159 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,144 Jimmy: WEST HURLEY, NEW YORK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 160 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:22,749 COME ON. SHOUT OUT TO DONNIE TOMMIE, I LOVE WEST HURLEY, NEW YORK 161 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:26,553 WHAT IS THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT YOU WERE GIVEN? MY SONG IS CALLED "FILLED MY 162 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,956 HOT TUB WITH PUMPKIN SPICE." Jimmy: AH, WE GAVE YOU A GOOD ONE THERE 163 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:34,894 YEAH, YEAH WHAT INSTRUMENT WILL YOU BE PLAYING TONIGHT? 164 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,597 THE GUITAR. Jimmy: WELL, PLEASE, GO GET READY ON STAGE 165 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,899 THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE, KATIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 166 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:45,705 * KATIE, THIS IS VERY EXCITING AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 167 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,742 HERE TO PERFORM THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE SOON-TO-BE CLASSIC "FILLED MY HOT TUB WITH 168 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,545 CLASSIC "FILLED MY HOT TUB WITH PUMPKIN SPICE," IT'S KATIE MARTUCCI 169 00:11:56,016 --> 00:12:02,088 * 170 00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:07,660 * FEEL THE CRISP IN THE AIR SUMMERS COMING TO AN END AND IT'S TIME TO PREPARE 171 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,297 GOT MY SWEATER * * GOT MY PLAD JUST ONE THING 172 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:16,636 THAT I'M MISSING * * AND IT'S DRIVING ME MAD I WANT SOMEONE I WANT YO 173 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:22,308 AND I THINK I KNOW * * JUST WHAT TO DO DON'T GO TO STARBUCK 174 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:29,315 COME TO MINE BECAUSE * * I FILL MY HOT TUB WITH PUMPKIN SPICE 175 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:38,291 WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED * * YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA B 176 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:48,234 SO NICE SWEETER THAN PIE SO COME SOAK WITH ME * * UNDER THE LEAVE 177 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:56,643 BUBBLES BETWEEN YOU AND I * * PUMPKIN SPICE YOU AND I * 178 00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:07,687 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: KATIE MARTUCCI THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. 179 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,958 YOU MADE IT SOUND BEAUTIFUL. HOW DID YOU DO THAT? THAT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DO 180 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:18,398 ALL RIGHT. GOOD LUCK. [ LAUGHTER ] 181 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,866 CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO, WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM 182 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,568 MY NAME IS SEAN McVARY. I'M FROM MIDDLEBURY, CONNECTICUT. 183 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:27,574 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH, SEAN McVARY! MIDDLEBERRY CONNECTICUT. 184 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,143 SEAN, TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOUR SONG TITLE IS. MY SONG IS CALLED "FANTASY 185 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:36,116 FOOTBALL REGULAR LIFE. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT INSTRUMENT WILL 186 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,952 YOU BE PLAYING TONIGHT I'M PLAYING THE PIANO Jimmy: SEAN, TAKE THE STAGE 187 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:42,655 AND GET READY. GET PREPARED GET IN THE ZONE. 188 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:49,329 * CHANNEL THAT INSPIRATION, SEAN LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GET READY 189 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:53,800 FOR THE WORLD PREMIERE OF "FANTASY FOOTBALL REGULAR LIFE" BY SEAN McVARY 190 00:13:55,101 --> 00:14:06,813 * * I'VE GOT ARRON ROGERS AS MY FIRST ROUND PICK 191 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:14,688 HANGING IN MY APARTMEN WITH MY ROOMMATE RICK * * I CATCH A PIZZA BAGEL 192 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:23,563 IN MY MOUTH AN I GET A HIGH-FIVE * * FANTASY FOOTBAL 193 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:28,134 REGULAR LIFE HIGH STAKES AT * * THE SUNDAY GAME 194 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:33,273 IN THESE PLAYERS I PLACE MY TRUST * * I CAUGHT HIM BACK 195 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:40,380 IN THE PRIME OF HIS LIFE AND I'VE COME TO COVERED * * IN DORITO DUS 196 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:45,752 SOMETIMES I WONDER I THEY'D EVER SWITCH * * PLACES WITH M 197 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:52,859 PROBABLY NOT DEFINITELY NOT * * BUT A BOY'S GOT TO DREA 198 00:14:52,859 --> 00:15:00,033 AND TODAY NOW FOCUSED ON MY DRAFT AND I'LL * * HAVE A GOOD TIM 199 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:12,212 FANTASY FOOTBALL REGULAR LIFE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 200 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:16,049 Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WELL DONE. SEAN McVARY. 201 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:21,121 BOTH OF YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, MY GOSH. 202 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:25,225 WELL DONE. THAT WAS AWESOME THAT WAS THE BEST ONE WE'VE 203 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,728 DONE YET NOW IT'S TIME TO SEE WHO WON WE'RE GOING TO LET OUR GREAT 204 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:35,902 AUDIENCE DECIDE THE WINNER [ AUDIENCE AWES UNBELIEVABLE, YOU GUYS 205 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:41,274 I ENJOYED BOTH, OF COURSE. BUT THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. WAS IT KATIE MARTUCII? 206 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:48,481 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OR WAS IT SEAN McVARY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 207 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:53,286 SEAN McVARY! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE THE WINNER 208 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,790 SEAN McVARY, YOU WILL BE GOING HOME WITH A I LOVE MUSIC SWEATSHIRT 209 00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:01,027 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU SO MUCH 210 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,929 Jimmy: ALSO YOU'LL BE GOING HOME WITH A SAMSUNG GALAXY BOOK 2 PRO TO WRITE AND RECORD MORE 211 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:13,640 SONGS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 212 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,043 Jimmy: YOU GOT THAT HOT TUB NO ONE GOES HOME EMPTY HANDED. OF COURSE, OUR OTHER CONTESTANT 213 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:22,382 WILL GET AN I LOVE MUSIC SWEATSHIRT AS WELL AND WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU THE 214 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:29,389 SAMSUNG GALAXY BOOK 2 PRO. THANK YOU SO MUCH. BOTH, AN AMAIZNG JOBS. 215 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,659 GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR TWO NEW INSTANT SONG WRITERS STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT 216 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,261 BACK WITH SUSAN SARANDON, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 217 00:16:35,261 --> 00:17:05,258 * Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS, WHO 218 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:09,629 STARS IN THE BRAND-NEW SERIES, "MONARCH," WHICH PREMIERES THIS SUNDAY NIGHT AFTER NFL ON FOX. 219 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:13,667 SUNDAY NIGHT AFTER NFL ON FOX. PLEASE WELCOME, THE ONE, THE ONLY, SUSAN SARANDON 220 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:23,076 * 221 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:32,819 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M 222 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:37,390 TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S -- COME ON. AW. 223 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,794 Jimmy: SUSAN, WELCOME AW. EVERYBODY IS LIVE. 224 00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,328 Jimmy: YES. [ CHEERS ] WE'RE HERE 225 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,931 WE'RE HERE WE'RE STILL HERE. Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 226 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:49,069 COMING TO THE SHOW OH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME. I MISSED YOU GUYS. 227 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,072 YOU GREW A BEARD, SO THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN Jimmy: YEAH, I'VE GROWN UP. 228 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,240 I WENT THROUGH PUBERTY SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU AND -- [ LAUGHTER ] 229 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,077 I'M VERY -- IT'S A FANTASTIC THING. WHAT -- HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER? 230 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,913 WORKING, WORKING, WORKING Jimmy: YOU WERE DID A BUNCH OF MOVIES 231 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,681 YEAH Jimmy: WAIT, I HEARD ABOUT ONE MOVIE THAT YOU'RE DOING 232 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,851 THAT'S A DC. DC COMIC, "BLUE BEETLE. Jimmy: "BLUE BEETLE." 233 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,788 AND WHAT'S FABULOUS ABOUT IS, IT'S THE FIRST LATINX HERO THAT HAS HIS OWN MOVIE 234 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:14,227 AND IT'S REALLY -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S MAJOR 235 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,096 EVEN BETTER, ALL OF THE MEXICAN -- BECAUSE HIS FAMILY IS MEXICAN, AND ALL THE ACTORS 236 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:23,036 WERE MEXICAN OR MEXICAN-AMERICAN, AND IT'S IN SPANISH, SO IT'S SUBTITLED 237 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:27,907 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. THAT'S A BIG DEAL. 238 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:33,713 I'M, OF COURSE, THE BAD GUY [ LAUGHTER ] I'M THE WHITE MILITARY 239 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,782 INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, SO I HAD A A FABULOUS TIME. Jimmy: WOW. 240 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,084 BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN BEING BAD. Jimmy: YEAH 241 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,587 [ LAUGHTER ] I LOVE THAT. YEAH. 242 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,355 Jimmy: WELL, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN COMING HERE, I MEAN, I WOULD SAY PROBABLY "LATE NIGHT" 243 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,158 YOU'VE BEEN A FRIEND OF OUR SHOW, AND I APPRECIATE IT. EVERY TIME YOU'RE ON, IT'S FUN 244 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,460 YOU BROUGHT YOUR DOGS HERE BEFORE YEAH. 245 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,964 Jimmy: YEAH MY LITTLE CREATURES ALL PASSED AWAY. 246 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,366 [ AUDIENCE AWS ] THEY - YEAH, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT 247 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:57,137 BECAUSE I STILL GET UPSET. IT WAS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. AND I WAS FEELING SAD, AND ONE 248 00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:02,676 OF MY SONS SAID, "OUR -- I SAID, "I CAN'T GET ANOTHER DOG I JUST CAN'T." 249 00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:06,279 YOU KNOW, AND HE SAID, "WELL, THEN GET CATS. AND I'M BI, SO - 250 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:10,316 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT SO YOU'RE -- YOU'RE -- YOU MEAN 251 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,688 YOU LIKE DOGS AND CATS I'M FLUID Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 252 00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,656 YOU LIKE DOGS -- YEAH NO, NO, NO 253 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,025 I'M VERY FLUID WHERE ANIMALS ARE CONCERNED. Jimmy: YEAH 254 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,493 BUT ARE YOU -- IF YOU'RE A A DOG -- I'VE HAD CATS BEFORE. 255 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,762 Jimmy: YOU HAVE AND THEN I HAD DOGS NOW I HAVE CATS. 256 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,397 [ CHEERS ] SO, HE FOUND THIS ADVERTISEMENT -- YOU KNOW, I 257 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:30,637 WAS RESCUING THEM. Jimmy: YEAH AND HE FOUND THIS CAT 258 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,039 AND WHEN I SAW THE PICTURE OF THIS CAT, IT JUST MADE ME LAUGH. 259 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:36,676 Jimmy: YEAH AND YOU -- I THINK YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF THIS CAT. 260 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,612 Jimmy: I DO THIS IS IDA. THIS IS IDA 261 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,549 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SADDER LOOKING CAT? [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 262 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:47,153 [ LAUGHTER ] DOESN'T SHE LOOK LIKE THE SAINTS THAT YOU USED TO PRAY 263 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,423 TO YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 264 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:55,061 NOW -- Jimmy: LOOK AT THE FROWN. THEY SAID, YOU KNOW, SHE'S 265 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:58,865 VERY SERIOUS, WHICH I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED WAS A RED FLAG, BUT I DIDN'T 266 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,935 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: A SERIOUS CAT. THEY'RE ALL KIND OF SERIOUS, 267 00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:05,071 RIGHT? A SERIOUS CAT MEANING NOT SOCIAL 268 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:08,475 Jimmy: YEAH YEAH, OF COURSE. SO, WHEN I GOT HER, SHE WAS 269 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,543 VERY FERAL SHE WAS 5. AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO 270 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,380 GET HER. AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, SHE NEEDS A FRIEND 271 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:18,318 THAT'S WHAT SHE NEEDS IS A A LITTLE FRIEND. Jimmy: OKAY 272 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,086 SO, THEN I GOT ANOTHER CAT, WHO IS THE SWEETEST -- I WANT TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING I 273 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:26,059 HAVE A TINY, TINY APARTMENT. LIKE, REALLY TINY APARTMENT. I MOVED OUT OF MY FAMILY ONE -- 274 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,795 SO SMALL I DON'T EVEN HAVE DOORS, RIGHT Jimmy: OKAY 275 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:33,933 SO, I HAVE THIS OTHER LITTLE CAT THAT WAS, KIND OF, SICK. AND SO, VERY FRAGILE AND JUST 276 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:38,872 AS SWEET AS CAN BE AND SO, WE CALLED HER SWEETIE. Jimmy: OKAY 277 00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:41,441 DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF SWEETIE? Jimmy: I HAVE A PICTURE OF 278 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,644 SWEETIE, BUT I HAVE A PICTURE OF SWEETIE LOOKING VERY SWEET, BUT I FEEL LIKE -- IS THIS IDA 279 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,280 WELL, YOU HAVE TO SEPARATE THEM SO, THIS IS -- 280 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,418 Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, SO LET ME JUST SHOW YOU THIS THERE'S - 281 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:59,959 [ LAUGHTER ] IDA DID NOT WANT A FRIEND. [ LAUGHTER ] 282 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:07,734 Jimmy: HERE'S IDA STARING DOWN LIKE, "HERE'S JOHNNY! [ LAUGHTER ] 283 00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:10,337 EXACTLY [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: "SHE'S GOING TO 284 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:13,907 MURDER SWEETIE." YEAH. AND EVERY -- AND I WAS REALLY 285 00:21:13,907 --> 00:21:15,742 FRIGHTENED BECAUSE SWEETIE WAS REALLY FRAGILE BECAUSE SHE'D HAD THIS OPERATION WHEN I GOT 286 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,645 HER. SHE -- ANYWAY, IT'S TRAGIC Jimmy: YEAH 287 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:23,783 BUT - SO, THEN I THOUGHT, "OKAY, THIS WENT ON FOR A YEAR." 288 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,552 AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY SHE GOT, SHE WOULD BEAT HER UP. SO, I HAD TO BE VERY CAREFUL 289 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:30,223 WITH HIM, RIGHT? SO, WHAT DO YOU DO I COULDN'T -- I WAS -- I DIDN'T 290 00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:34,928 WANT TO GIVE AWAY IDA, WHO WAS THE BITCH IN THE GROUP, BUT I DIDN'T 291 00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:39,299 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, WHAT DO YOU DO YOU GET ANOTHER CAT, RIGHT 292 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:43,269 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SO, I GOT A MALE CAT THIS TIME I THOUGHT, "THIS IS GOING TO 293 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:48,808 CHANGE THE DYNAMIC." AND I GOT HARRY, WHO WAS ONLY 9 MONTHS OLD 294 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,112 SO HE WAS, I THOUGHT, MAYBE HE'S A LITTLE MORE MALLEABLE Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO -- 295 00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:54,280 BECAUSE HE'S -- HE WAS YOUNGER, AND HE WAS -- HASN'T BEEN ON THE STREET AS LONG 296 00:21:54,280 --> 00:22:00,720 Jimmy: YEAH AND HARRY IS JUST THE SWEETEST GUY EVER. 297 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,622 BUT, OF COURSE, WHAT HAPPENED WAS, THAT HE PLAYS WITH IDA BECAUSE HE JUMPS ALL AROUND 298 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:06,960 BECAUSE HE'S A YOUNG CAT, AND -- AND SWEETIE IS LIKE, "NO, GET AWAY. 299 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,463 I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH -- AND HE LIES ON HIS BACK, AND HE DOES ALL THIS STUFF TRYING TO 300 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,532 DO - Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. THE VOICES NOW 301 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:15,702 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'VE BECOME A CAT LADY I'M - 302 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,804 Jimmy: YOU'VE BECOME A CAT LADY YES 303 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,073 SO, I DON'T KNOW THE QUESTION IS, NOW DO I GET A DOG TO TRY TO TAKE CARE OF - 304 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:24,077 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: PLEASE NO, NO 305 00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:26,846 IT HAS TO STOP [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 306 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,648 IF ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE HAS A A PLAN, YOU KNOW - Jimmy: YEAH, NO, THIS IS 307 00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,150 GOOD I HAVE CATNIP EVERYWHERE. I'VE GOT THESE PLUG IN THINGS 308 00:22:30,150 --> 00:22:32,452 WITH PHEROMONES. IT'S JUST NOTHING IS - [ LAUGHTER ] 309 00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:34,954 YEAH Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK -- SO THAT'S MY CAT STORY. 310 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,489 Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS AND MY SON SAID - 311 00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:39,325 Jimmy: YES? WHO GAVE -- WHO GOT THE CATS FOR ME, OR THE FIRST ONE 312 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:47,100 ANYWAY, SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S VERY INTERESTING WITH MEN. IF YOU ARE A GUY -- WHEN YOU'RE 313 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,968 PICKING A GUY, YOU KNOW, A MAN WHO LIKES A DOG WANTS IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION AND SOMEONE WHO'S 314 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:57,110 VERY DEPENDENT ON THEM BECAUSE DOGS UNDERSTAND THAT THEY CAN'T EXIST WITHOUT YOU 315 00:22:57,110 --> 00:23:03,583 BUT CATS, ON THE OTHER HAND, THEY CAN DEAL WITH SOMEONE IF A MAN HAS CATS, THEN HE 316 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,419 KNOWS THAT YOU CAN BE INDEPENDENT, AND HE'S NOT AS, YOU KNOW, NEEDY AS A DOG LOVER 317 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:12,892 THAT NEEDS THAT TAIL WAGGING AS SOON AS YOU COME IN THE HOUSE. [ LAUGHTER ] 318 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,628 Jimmy: WHO SAID THIS TO YOU DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE Jimmy: NO 319 00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:19,566 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE DOGS 320 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:22,936 Jimmy: DOGS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE PSYCHIC 321 00:23:22,936 --> 00:23:28,575 YOU'RE A PSYCHIC NOW I REST MY CASE. Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU -- 322 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,910 I WANT TO -- I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE I THINK IT'S VERY, VERY COOL AND 323 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:35,281 INTERESTING, AND I WANT TO KNOW THE STORY BEHIND IT. IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ALWAYS WEAR 324 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:41,321 THIS JA -- YOU BRING THIS JACKET OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN, YOU -- YOU 325 00:23:41,321 --> 00:23:43,823 BREAK IT OUT AND IT'S A VERY COOL LETTERMAN LEATHER -- IT'S LIKE A 326 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:47,327 A "SIMPSONS" JACKET, AND THE INTERNET GOES NUTS WHEN YOU WEAR IT. 327 00:23:47,327 --> 00:23:51,131 BECAUSE THEY GO, "WHAT IS THIS JACKET?" AND EVEN THOUGH THE -- 328 00:23:51,131 --> 00:23:54,434 NO, THEY GO NUTS BECAUSE I'M STILL WEARING THAT JACKET AFTER MANY YEARS 329 00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:57,270 AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PERSON THAT SHE'S STILL WEARING -- 330 00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:59,005 Jimmy: NO, VO -- VOGUE -- VOGUE HAD A HEADLINE, "HAS SUSAN SARANDON BEEN WEARING THE 331 00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:06,112 SAME JACKET SINCE 1995?" [ LAUGHTER ] "VOGUE" OF ALL PEOPLE. 332 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:09,616 FAUX PAS. Jimmy: FAUX PAS FASHION FAUX PAS 333 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,384 YEAH, THAT'S FROM "THE SIMPSONS." AND WHEN YOU DID -- I DON'T 334 00:24:11,384 --> 00:24:13,253 KNOW IF THEY STILL DO THIS, BUT I DID A FEW VOICES FOR THEM AND I -- "THE SIMPSONS" AND -- ARE 335 00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:21,061 JUST BRILLIANT AND THEY GAVE ME THIS JACKET AND THEN, AS THEY ADDED MORE 336 00:24:21,061 --> 00:24:25,365 CHARACTERS, THEY WOULD PUT PATCHES -- NEW PATCHES -- ON THE JACKET 337 00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:27,133 NOW, I HAVEN'T -- I DON'T KNOW IF THEY STILL -- BUT YES, THAT'S -- IS THERE SOMETHING 338 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:32,238 WRONG WITH NOT THROWING OUT YOUR CLOTHES [ LAUGHTER ] 339 00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:34,307 I MEAN, MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M GETTING OLD, BUT I WANT TO HOLD ON TO MY OLD THINGS 340 00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:37,177 I DON'T WANT TO -- Jimmy: NO, I LOVE THAT YOU HAVE THIS. 341 00:24:37,177 --> 00:24:39,779 BUT I MEAN -- BUT IT LOOKS GREAT ON YOU THANK YOU 342 00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:41,848 Jimmy: DO YOU -- DO YOU JUST - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 343 00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,983 WHEN I WEAR THIS JACKET, EVERYBODY SMILES AND SO, I'M ACTUALLY CHANGING 344 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:51,291 THE CHARACTERISTICS OF NEW YORK, BECAUSE PEOPLE THAT SEE THIS JACKET GO, "COOL 345 00:24:51,291 --> 00:24:59,232 JACKET." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'M SPREADING SMILES 346 00:24:59,232 --> 00:25:01,034 Jimmy: YOU REALLY ARE SPREADING SMILES WELL, YOU'RE SUCH A FRIEND OF 347 00:25:01,034 --> 00:25:03,503 OUR SHOW, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU -- GET OFF MY CASE 348 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:06,139 Jimmy: I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE GIFT. OH! 349 00:25:06,139 --> 00:25:10,276 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT SAYS -- IT SAYS "SUSAN" ON IT 350 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:13,780 OH, MY GOSH WOW. LET ME SEE 351 00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:17,617 * BUT THIS -- I THINK WE - WHAT ABOUT PATCHES THOUGH? 352 00:25:17,617 --> 00:25:21,321 DO WE GET, LIKE, THE BANDS Jimmy: I CAN SEND YOU SOME -- SOME PATCHES 353 00:25:21,321 --> 00:25:25,158 CAN WE GET, LIKE, ALL THE FACES OF THE ROOTS Jimmy: YEAH, THE ROOTS. 354 00:25:25,158 --> 00:25:29,295 OH, WAIT THIS IS THE NEW -- THIS IS THE NEW -- 355 00:25:29,295 --> 00:25:31,831 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH THAT'S THE NEW JACKET. 356 00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:36,970 LOOK AT -- COME ON NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 357 00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:40,473 THAT'S -- THAT IS OUR GIFT TO YOU. I FEEL SUPER COOL 358 00:25:40,473 --> 00:25:44,844 THIS IS THE BEST GOODY BAG SO FAR OF ALL THE TALK SHOWS THAT - 359 00:25:44,844 --> 00:25:48,782 YOU'RE ALREADY RECOGNIZABLE. YOU'RE SUSAN SARANDON, BUT A A LITTLE "SUSAN" ON THERE, IT, 360 00:25:48,782 --> 00:25:52,152 KIND OF, MAKES PEOPLE SMILE. AND THEY DON'T CONFUSE ME WITH SIGOURNEY WEAVER. 361 00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:56,189 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ] [ SAD TUBA ] 362 00:25:56,189 --> 00:25:58,158 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 363 00:25:58,158 --> 00:26:00,126 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YEAH. Jimmy: LET'S TALK - 364 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:03,029 AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, IF I LOSE MY MIND, I'LL GO, "OH, RIGHT, I'M SUSAN." 365 00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:05,932 Jimmy: "I'M SUSAN." YEAH, OF COURSE. LET'S TALK ABOUT "MONARCH. 366 00:26:05,932 --> 00:26:08,902 THIS IS A BIG DEAL LET'S TALK ABOUT "MONARCH." Jimmy: IT'S GOT A LOT OF 367 00:26:08,902 --> 00:26:10,904 GOOD BUZZ HERE YES Jimmy: THIS SUNDAY, ONE OF 368 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,405 THE MOST ANTICIPATED NEW SHOWS THIS FALL. CAN YOU SET UP WHAT THE SHOW IS 369 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:18,078 ABOUT? COUNTRY MUSIC DYNASTY I AM THE HEAD OF THE DYNASTY 370 00:26:18,078 --> 00:26:19,479 "I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MY FAMILY TO KEEP MY DYNASTY GOING. 371 00:26:19,479 --> 00:26:23,416 Jimmy: YES. AND I HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS WHO, YOU KNOW, THAT COULD BE 372 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:27,454 TROUBLE. AND A SON. AND TRACE ADKINS - 373 00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:31,624 Jimmy: TRACE ADKINS -- WHO IS A, YOU KNOW, CERTIFIED MAJOR COUNTRY STAR 374 00:26:31,624 --> 00:26:35,328 Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. HE'S, LIKE, 8'9" BY THE WAY. AND TALKS LIKE -- AND VERY 375 00:26:35,328 --> 00:26:38,398 JOHNNY CASH. VERY THOUGH. Jimmy: "VERY DEEP VOICE -- 376 00:26:38,398 --> 00:26:41,067 YEAH, VERY DEEP VOICE. AND SO, IT'S, YOU KNOW, A A GUILTY PLEASURE OF LOTS OF 377 00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:45,305 INTRIGUE AND SECRETS AND - Jimmy: WHO'S TAKING OVER THE FAMILY BIZ AND COUNTRY MUSIC 378 00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:47,674 AND -- AND PATERNITY AND LIES. AND YEAH 379 00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,977 DO I YEAH Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M 380 00:26:50,977 --> 00:26:52,946 TALKING ABOUT. AND WHO ELSE? YEAH 381 00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,115 Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. SHOTGUNS GOING OFF. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 382 00:26:55,115 --> 00:26:57,083 Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S SUSAN SARANDON IN 383 00:26:57,083 --> 00:26:59,252 HERE'S SUSAN SARANDON IN "MONARCH." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 384 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:01,388 IT'S TIME TO SHOW YOU WHAT 385 00:27:01,388 --> 00:27:09,863 YOU'RE WEARING TOMORROW AT THE MUSICAL. TADA 386 00:27:09,863 --> 00:27:19,939 OH. IT'S PERFECT YOU'RE PERFECT. 387 00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:22,676 YOU KNOW, NICKY, I NEVER WANTED JUST TO BE A STAR. I WANTED TO CREATE A DYNASTY, 388 00:27:22,676 --> 00:27:30,116 AND I DID. WE ALWAYS KNEW THAT WITH YOUR GOD GIVEN BEAUTY AND TALENT 389 00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:34,921 THAT IT WAS GONNA BE YOUR DESTINY TO CONTINUE OUR LEGACY Jimmy: WHOA 390 00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:39,492 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SUSAN SARANDON CHECK OUT THE SEASON PREMIERE 391 00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:42,462 OF "MONARCH" THIS SUNDAY AFTER NFL ON FOX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 392 00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:45,732 JULIO TORRES STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 393 00:27:45,732 --> 00:28:04,451 * Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY NOMINATED WRITER AND 394 00:28:04,451 --> 00:28:09,889 COMEDIAN WHO CO- CREATED AND STARS IN THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED SHOW "LOS ESPOOKYS." 395 00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:14,594 SEASON TWO PREMIERES SEPTEMBER 16th ON HBO AND HBO MAX. 396 00:28:14,594 --> 00:28:17,864 GOSH, HE'S FUNNY PLEASE WELCOME JULIO TORRES, EVERYBODY. 397 00:28:20,033 --> 00:28:28,475 * * Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. 398 00:28:28,475 --> 00:28:35,582 THAT MIGHT BE THE FASTEST ENTRANCE EVER. I WAS JUST SAYING, "HI." 399 00:28:35,582 --> 00:28:37,350 THIS IS WHY IT WAS THE FASTEST ENTRANCE EVER BECAUSE I GOT DISORIENTED, AND I THOUGHT 400 00:28:37,350 --> 00:28:42,055 I WAS GOING TO BE WALKING OVER THERE. AND THEN WHEN I SAW IT WAS -- 401 00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:45,058 SO I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T HAVE A A LOT OF TIME TO GET ALL THE WAY OVER THERE." 402 00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:48,828 Jimmy: SO, YOU CAME IN HOT. I CAME IN HOT Jimmy: BECAUSE I BARELY 403 00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,431 SHOOK YOUR HAND -- [ LAUGHTER ] I NEVER SAW ANYONE SIT THIS 404 00:28:51,431 --> 00:28:56,903 FAST IN MY LIFE. I WAS LIKE, "WE GOT TO GET THE COUCH. 405 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,872 Jimmy: "WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS GOING WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE COUCH. 406 00:28:58,872 --> 00:29:02,275 YOU LOOK GREAT I LIKE THE PINK HAIR I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN 407 00:29:02,275 --> 00:29:05,645 THE PINK HAIR ON YOU YOU LOOK FANTASTIC I WAS GOING TO SAY, I LIKE 408 00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:08,615 YOUR BEARD Jimmy: WHAT THIS IS LIKE A COMPLIMENT OFF, 409 00:29:08,615 --> 00:29:13,086 CAUSE I LIKE YOUR JACKET YOUR SUITS OKAY Jimmy: THANK YOU -- 410 00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:21,027 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE GOALS I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE SAME 411 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:23,897 HAIR WIZARD FOR A WHILE. THAT'S WHAT I CALL HER, THE HAIR WIZARD. 412 00:29:23,897 --> 00:29:27,534 Jimmy: WHAT'S HER NAME? DO WE KNOW HER HER NAME IS MARCY 413 00:29:27,534 --> 00:29:31,237 SHE'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS Jimmy: OH, HI MARCY WAIT YOU SAY, "OLAH, MARCY. 414 00:29:31,237 --> 00:29:40,080 Jimmy: HOLA MARCY SHE'S A HAIR WIZARD YOU SAY? YEAH -- I FEEL LIKE SHE -- 415 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:46,853 ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES I WENT TO HER, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVES HAIR, BUT SHE FEARS HAIR 416 00:29:46,853 --> 00:29:53,860 BECAUSE HAIR IS LIKE THE OCEAN IT'S FULL OF SECRETS [ LAUGHTER ] 417 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:58,064 SO, I -- I KNEW THAT I NEEDED HER. Jimmy: YEAH 418 00:29:58,064 --> 00:30:01,634 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, THE HAIR IS FULL OF SECRETS. 419 00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:06,272 SO, EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED IF YOU WENT TO GO SEE MARCY WELL, WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HER 420 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:12,679 IS THAT SHE SAYS, YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOUR HAIR TELLS ME WHAT TO DO. 421 00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:16,816 SO, I MEAN, I GUESS MY HAIR WANTED TO BE PINK. [ LAUGHTER ] 422 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:19,886 Jimmy: WOW, SHE'S RIGHT IT LOOKS FANTASTIC YOU SHOULD GO TO MARCY. 423 00:30:19,886 --> 00:30:24,457 [ LAUGHTER ] NO, NO, NO - Jimmy: MY HAIR HAS TOO MANY 424 00:30:24,457 --> 00:30:29,095 SECRETS. [ LAUGHTER ] JULIO, I WANTED TO ASK YOU A 425 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:34,534 A QUESTION BECAUSE I KNOW YOU AS A WRITER, AS A STANDUP -- A A GREAT STANDUP, AN ACTOR. 426 00:30:34,534 --> 00:30:37,704 BUT YOU'RE GETTING INTO SOMETHING -- A TERRITORY I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. 427 00:30:37,704 --> 00:30:41,541 OKAY. Jimmy: THIS IS HAND ACTING. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING 428 00:30:41,541 --> 00:30:45,145 ABOUT? YEAH, OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT 429 00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:47,747 Jimmy: WELL, I MEANT TO SAY THAT TO THE AUDIENCE DO YOU GUYS NO WHAT I'M TALKING 430 00:30:47,747 --> 00:30:53,987 ABOUT? HAND ACTING, CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE WHAT THIS IS? 431 00:30:53,987 --> 00:30:58,258 YEAH, I'VE SEEN A LOT OF ACTORS OUT THERE ACTING, BUT THEN I LOOK AT THEIR HANDS, AND 432 00:30:58,258 --> 00:31:01,261 THEIR HANDS AREN'T QUITE PERFORMING SO, I -- MAYBE I'LL JUST SHOW 433 00:31:01,261 --> 00:31:07,334 YOU. OKAY IF -- SO, I'M GOING TO GIVE 434 00:31:07,334 --> 00:31:10,937 YOU, LIKE, A FEW SCENARIOS AND JUST SOME TRICKS FOR ACTORS OUT THERE IF THEY WANT TO 435 00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:15,642 IMPLEMENT THEM Jimmy: THIS IS AWESOME. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE, THIS WOULD 436 00:31:15,642 --> 00:31:17,644 BE WHAT YOU WOULD DO WITH A LINE, LIKE, "PERHAPS YOU CAN COME TO MY ROOM LATER, AND THEN 437 00:31:17,644 --> 00:31:33,460 WE CAN SEE WHAT HAPPENS? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I JUST GOT AN 438 00:31:33,460 --> 00:31:36,296 EIGHT-MINUTE OVATION AT THE VENICE FILM FESTIVAL YEAH, YEAH. 439 00:31:36,296 --> 00:31:43,837 OKAY I WANT TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE "DELORIS, I NEED ROGER ON THE 440 00:31:43,837 --> 00:31:48,208 LINE." [ LAUGHTER ] THAT TELLS A STORY 441 00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:51,811 Jimmy: YES, DOLORES WHO IS DOLORES? WHO IS ROGER 442 00:31:51,811 --> 00:31:54,547 Jimmy: OF COURSE, YEAH. OKAY, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE. 443 00:31:54,547 --> 00:31:58,118 DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A PEN AND PAPER THAT I CAN BORROW? Jimmy: YEAH 444 00:31:58,118 --> 00:32:00,120 RIGHT THERE YEAH THERE, THERE, THERE. 445 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:11,364 OKAY THIS IS -- THIS IS FINALLY SIGNING THE DIVORCE PAPERS 446 00:32:11,364 --> 00:32:21,074 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW. [ APPLAUSE ] 447 00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:25,278 OH THAT'S SO -- ALL RIGHT FINE 448 00:32:25,278 --> 00:32:30,350 YOU GOT ME DO YOU HAVE -- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A CUP OR, LIKE, A WINE 449 00:32:30,350 --> 00:32:36,623 GLASS OR, LIKE, A -- YEAH, WITH A STEM YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 450 00:32:36,623 --> 00:32:42,862 THAT'S GOOD. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH SO, THIS IS HOW YOU WOULD 451 00:32:42,862 --> 00:32:44,864 PORTRAY -- THIS IS HOW ONLY WITH YOUR HANDS YOU CONVEY TO THE CAMERA THAT, "YES, IN FACT, 452 00:32:44,864 --> 00:32:55,709 THERE'S POISON IN THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YES, IN FACT, THERE 453 00:32:55,709 --> 00:32:59,479 IS POISON -- THERE'S POISON. Jimmy: THERE'S POISON IN 454 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:04,050 THERE. DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A -- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE -- I WANT TO 455 00:33:04,050 --> 00:33:22,535 SAY, LIKE, A VILE OF POTION? OKAY SO, HERE, YOU OFFER THE POTION 456 00:33:22,535 --> 00:33:30,744 BUT YOU GIVE A WARNING BECAUSE EVERYTHING COMES AT A PRICE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 457 00:33:30,744 --> 00:33:33,680 Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE THAT IS WHY -- THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL. 458 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:39,486 UNBELIEVABLE JULIO -- I'M A MASTER. 459 00:33:39,486 --> 00:33:42,655 Jimmy: "LOS ESPOOKYS. SEASON TWO I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR 460 00:33:42,655 --> 00:33:46,593 A LONG TIME. I LOVED SEASON ONE, AND THEN YOU WERE FILMING AND THEN 461 00:33:46,593 --> 00:33:53,266 PANDEMIC YEAH, SO, WE DID SEASON ONE THEN WE WERE GOING TO DO SEASON 462 00:33:53,266 --> 00:33:57,637 TWO. AND THEN THIS VIRUS HAPPENED Jimmy: AND THEN - 463 00:33:57,637 --> 00:34:06,913 SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE WORLD Jimmy: SO, YOU SHUT DOWN. SO, WE HAD TO SHUT DOWN 464 00:34:06,913 --> 00:34:09,649 SO, WE DID ALMOST FOUR EPISODES, AND THEN WE TOOK A A LITTLE BREAK FOR TWO YEARS 465 00:34:09,649 --> 00:34:16,056 [ LAUGHTER ] WE TOOK -- THEY WERE, LIKE, "OKAY, WE'RE BREAKING. 466 00:34:16,056 --> 00:34:20,260 LIKE, SNACK TIME FOR TWO YEARS Jimmy: TWO YEARS? IS THAT HELPFUL? 467 00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:24,264 NO THAT CAN'T BE -- SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "OH, 468 00:34:24,264 --> 00:34:29,536 THAT MUST BE SO AWFUL. AND THEN IT'S LIKE, "DID WE LEARN SOMETHING FROM LIKE 469 00:34:29,536 --> 00:34:35,241 STOPPING?" "NO. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 470 00:34:35,241 --> 00:34:40,146 "WAS IT GOOD CREATIVELY? "LIKE, NO. IT WAS, LIKE, "ACTUALLY I 471 00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:45,885 REALLY, REALLY DON'T RECOMMEND --" MY ADVICE WOULD BE, IF YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING, 472 00:34:45,885 --> 00:34:52,625 AND IT'S GOING WELL, DON'T TAKE A BREAK FOR TWO YEARS. Jimmy: OKAY, THAT'S GOOD 473 00:34:52,625 --> 00:34:55,095 ADVICE [ LAUGHTER ] HOW WOULD YOU SUM UP THE SHOW 474 00:34:55,095 --> 00:34:58,631 FOR US I WOULD SAY, "WATCH IT, PLEASE." 475 00:34:58,631 --> 00:35:08,241 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S RIGHT -- YOU JUST OPEN YOUR LAPTOP AND YOU DA, DA, DA 476 00:35:08,241 --> 00:35:14,814 AND YOU JUST WATCH IT. Jimmy: THIS IS MEANT FOR LAPTOP VIEWING 477 00:35:14,814 --> 00:35:19,185 I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT, HOW MANY -- YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW 478 00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:23,456 DO YOU GUYS HAVE TELEVISIONS Jimmy: YES, WE ALL HAVE TELEVISIONS. 479 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:28,061 YOU'RE ON IT RIGHT NOW I KNOW. BUT PEOPLE ARE SEEING ON THEIR 480 00:35:28,061 --> 00:35:32,065 PHONES Jimmy: OH, THIS IS INTERESTING. 481 00:35:32,065 --> 00:35:34,601 I WATCH YOU ON TELEVISION. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THERE'S THIS WHOLE 482 00:35:34,601 --> 00:35:39,939 WORLDWIDE WEB OUT THERE. Jimmy: WHAT TELL ME ABOUT IT 483 00:35:39,939 --> 00:35:45,745 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NO, WATCH IT ON TV. Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW 484 00:35:45,745 --> 00:35:48,581 EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S JULIO TORRES IN THE NEW SEASON OF "LOS ESPOOKYS. 485 00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:50,850 HERE'S JULIO TORRES IN THE NEW SEASON OF "LOS ESPOOKYS. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 486 00:35:51,785 --> 00:36:17,043 [ SPEAKING IN SPANISH [ SPEAKING IN SPANISH 487 00:36:17,043 --> 00:36:25,085 [ SPEAKING IN SPANISH Jimmy: JULIO TORRES, EVERYONE 488 00:36:25,085 --> 00:36:27,187 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SEASON TWO OF "LOS ESPOOKYS" PREMIERES SEPTEMBER 16th ON HBO 489 00:36:27,187 --> 00:36:29,456 AND HBO MAX. FLETCHER PERFORMS FOR US AFTER THE BREAK. 490 00:36:29,456 --> 00:36:54,414 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 491 00:36:54,414 --> 00:36:56,282 Jimmy: PERFORMING "BECKY'S SO HOT" FROM HER UPCOMING DEBUT ALBUM, "GIRL OF MY DREAMS," 492 00:36:56,282 --> 00:37:00,153 SO HOT" FROM HER UPCOMING DEBUT ALBUM, "GIRL OF MY DREAMS," GIVE IT UP FOR FLETCHER! 493 00:37:02,088 --> 00:37:15,935 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 494 00:37:15,935 --> 00:37:20,106 * I WAKE UP PUTTIN MAKEUP ON A SAD FAC LISTERINE AIN'T FIXING 495 00:37:20,106 --> 00:37:24,577 THIS BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH * * SOMEONE SAW YOU OUT ON FRIDAY SAW YO 496 00:37:24,577 --> 00:37:29,149 WALKING SIDEWAYS GUESS I'M GETTING TOUCHED * * REAL GOOD NOW 497 00:37:29,149 --> 00:37:32,118 FINE OKAY I'LL SAY I WENT AND STALKED HER AND I DON'T REALLY * 498 00:37:32,118 --> 00:37:36,589 * BLAME YOU CAUSE DAMN THE WAIST THE HIPS THE FAC 499 00:37:36,589 --> 00:37:42,829 THIS IS AWKWARD * * ARE YOU IN LOVE LIKE WE WERE 500 00:37:42,829 --> 00:37:47,634 IF I WERE YO I'D PROBABLY KEEP HER * * MAKES ME WANNA HIT HE 501 00:37:47,634 --> 00:37:53,106 WHEN I SEE HER CAUSE BECKY'S SO HOT IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIRT * 502 00:37:53,106 --> 00:37:56,276 * OH SHE THE ON I SHOULD HAT BUT I WANNA KNOW 503 00:37:56,276 --> 00:38:01,414 HOW SHE TASTE * * I KINDA WANNA HIT HER WHEN I SEE HER 504 00:38:01,414 --> 00:38:05,785 BECKY'S SO HOT IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIRT * * I USED TO 505 00:38:05,785 --> 00:38:09,055 WEAR IT TOO YEAH IT'S THE CROPPED ONE WITH THE RED CORVETTE * 506 00:38:09,055 --> 00:38:13,560 * SOMEONE NEW RIDING SHOTGU I CAN'T EVEN BE THAT MAD ABOUT IT 507 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,497 SHE FLAME EMOJI WOW * * IT'S ALWAYS GONNA MES ME UP CAUS 508 00:38:17,497 --> 00:38:24,037 FINE OKAY I'LL SAY I WENT AND STALKED HER * * AND I DON'T REALL 509 00:38:24,037 --> 00:38:26,673 BLAME YOU CAUS DAMN THE WAIST THE HIPS * 510 00:38:26,673 --> 00:38:30,043 * THE FAC THIS IS AWKWAR ARE YOU IN LOV 511 00:38:30,043 --> 00:38:35,415 LIKE WE WERE * * IF I WERE YOU I'D PROBABLY KEEP HE 512 00:38:35,415 --> 00:38:39,686 MAKES ME WANNA HIT HER WHEN I SEE HER * * CAUSE BECKY'S SO HO 513 00:38:39,686 --> 00:38:44,157 IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIR OH SHE THE ONE I SHOULD HATE * 514 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:49,062 * BUT I WANNA KNO HOW SHE TAST I KINDA WANNA HIT HE 515 00:38:49,062 --> 00:38:56,836 WHEN I SEE HER * * BECKY'S SO HO IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIRT * 516 00:38:56,836 --> 00:39:07,547 * * * BECKY'S SO HO 517 00:39:07,547 --> 00:39:21,761 BECKY'S SO HOT AND AREN'T YOU IN LOVE LIKE WE WERE * 518 00:39:21,761 --> 00:39:26,032 * AND IF I WERE YOU I'D PROBABLY KEEP HE CAUSE I WANNA HIT HE 519 00:39:26,032 --> 00:39:32,238 WHEN I SEE HER * * CAUSE BECKY'S SO HO IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIR 520 00:39:32,238 --> 00:39:35,408 OH SHE THE ONE OH SHE KNOWS THE ONE * * BUT I WANNA KNO 521 00:39:35,408 --> 00:39:39,913 HOW SHE TAST I KINDA WANNA HIT HE WHEN I SEE HER * 522 00:39:39,913 --> 00:39:51,157 * BECKY'S SO HO IN YOUR VINTAGE TEE SHIRT * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 523 00:39:51,157 --> 00:39:54,427 Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS! COME ON! FLETCHER 524 00:39:54,427 --> 00:39:58,598 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 525 00:39:58,598 --> 00:40:00,567 "GIRL OF MY DREAMS" IS OUT SEPTEMBER 16th WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES AND 526 00:40:00,567 --> 00:40:04,504 GENTLEMEN. WOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 527 00:40:04,504 --> 00:40:24,891 * Jimmy: MY THANKS TO SUSAN SARANDON, JULIO TORRES - 528 00:40:24,891 --> 00:40:28,828 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FLETCHER, ONCE AGAIN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 529 00:40:28,828 --> 00:40:31,231 AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 530 00:40:31,231 --> 00:40:34,601 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 531 00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:34,601 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE