Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JIM PARSONS,
ROSE BYRNE COMEDIAN, ISABEL HAGEN AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1733 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WELCOME. THANK YOU, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. YOU'RE WATCHING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR TUNING IN
GUYS, LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN HELD A MEETING AT THE WHITE HOUSE
WITH ISRAELI PRESIDENT ISAAC HERZOG BIDEN AND ISRAEL'S PRESIDENT
SPENT HOURS TOGETHER THEY DISCUSSED IRAN, RUSSIA, AND ALL OF THEIR FAVORITE
TRACKS OFF THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM. [ LAUGHTER ]
"LAVENDER HAZE." MEANWHILE, EARLIER TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN ALSO ANNOUNCED
A PLAN TO CUT HIDDEN BANK AND CREDIT CARD FEES IN AN EFFORT TO GIVE FAMILIES MORE BREATHING
ROOM YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GOOD MORE BREATHING ROOM. INTERESTING.
YEAH -- BREATHING ROOM SOUNDS LIKE BIDEN'S LAUNCHING HIS OWN LINE OF SKIMS.
[ LAUGHTER ] TO BE HONEST, I DON'T KNOW IF N IS THE BEST PERSRSON TO
TALK ABOUT GIVING PEOPLE BREATHING ROOM, BUT I DON'T KNOW
MAYBE I'M WRONG, I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] BIDEN ALSO SAID THAT HE'S
LOOKING TO GET RID OF ADDED FEES ON CABLE BILLS. THAT'S GREAT NEWS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S GREAT NEWS. GREAT NEWS FOR THE THREE PEOPLE
WHO STILL HAVE CABLE IT'S AMAZING NEWS. [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME MORE NEWS RUSSIA JUST NOTIFIED THE U.S. THAT THEY WOULD BE LAUNCHING
NUCLEAR CAPABLE MISSILES AS PART OF THEIR ANNUAL NUCLEAR EXERCISE
RUSSIA IS JUST LIKE US THEY ALSO EXERCISE ONLY ONCE A A YEAR
IT'S GREAT [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THE U.S. IS KEEPING A CLOSE
EYE ON RUSSIA. YESTERDAY, BIDEN SAID THAT IT WOULD BE A SERIOUS, SERIOUS
MISTAKE FOR RUSSIA TO USE NUCLEAR WEAPONS. WOW.
I HAVEN'T HEARD WORDS THAT POWERFUL SINCE FDR CALLED JAPAN'S ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR
A MAJOR NO, NO [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT
BIDEN SAID, THAT IF RUSSIA USES NUCLEAR WEAPONS, THEY WOULD BE MAKING, A QUOTE, "SERIOUS,
SERIOUS MISTAKE. YEP. AND HE DIDN'T STOP THERE
NEXT HE SAID, "FOR REALSIES, YOU BETTER NOT." [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: WOW. Jimmy: NO HE WENT ON
[ APPLAUSE ] FOR REALSIES HE WENT ON TO SAY, "BUT IF YOU
WANNA REALLY BE REAL, I'M ACTUALLY ON BEREAL JUST SEARCH POTUS AND CHECK IT
OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, HE SAID, "BUT
SERIOUSLY, NO CAP FAM. THIS BEHAVIOR IS MAKING ME SALTY.
DON'T @ ME." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHAT IS HE TALK --
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING GUYS, I WANT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HILLARY CLINTON,
WHO TURNED 75 TODAY. [ APPLAUSE ] HILLARY CLINTON.
OF COURSE, HILLARY GOT A LOT OF TEXTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY, AND WE ACTUALLY GOT AHOLD OF SOME OF
THEM YEP. FOR INSTANCE, RON DeSANTIS
TEXTED, "I'M THROWING YOU A SURPRISE PARTY, WHERE YOU GET ON A PLANE, I DROP YOU OFF
SOMEWHERE. THAT'S A SURPRISE. NEXT, VLADIMIR PUTIN TEXTED,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOW SMILE AT MICROWAVE CLOCK AND WAVE TO ME."
[ LAUGHTER ] THEN ADIDAS TEXTED, "HBD, WE GOT YOU 70,000 PAIRS OF FREE
YEEZY'S. [ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE GIVING THEM AWAY, FREE
NEXT UP, DONALD TRUMP TEXTED, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LITERALLY THE ONLY 75-YEAR-OLD WOMAN I'VE
EVER KNOWN." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BERNIE SANDERS TEXTED, "SIRI,
TEXT HILLARY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ONE OF THOSE YELLOW SMILEY FACES WEARING A TRIANGULAR
PARTY CAP. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SEND
NEXT UP, BILL CLINTON TEXTED, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S NICE. AND FINALLY, JOE BIDEN TEXTED,
"SIRI, TEXT BERNIE SANDERS, 'HOW DO I SEND A TEXT TO HILLARY' THEN ONE OF THOSE
YELLOW SMILEY FACES WITH WIDE EYES." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
SEND NICE OF EVERYONE TO REACH OUT, DON'T YOU THINK?
THAT'S RIGHT TODAY IS HILLARY CLINTON'S 75th BIRTHDAY
BUT I LOOKED IT UP, AND IT TURNS OUT OCTOBER 26th IS A LOT OF PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAY
SO IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT I WISH THEM ALL A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. THIS SHOULD ONLY TAKE A SECOND
FEEL FREE TO SING ALONG IF YOU WANT *
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YO HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR HILLAR
CLINTON AND KEITH URBAN * * AND SETH MACFARLANE AND PAT SAJAK AN
JOHN HEDER AKA NAPOLEO DYNAMITE * * AND RITA WILSON AND
DYLAN McDERMOTT AN JACLYN SMITH * [ CLOCK TICKING
[ LAUGHTER ] * AND BOOTSY COLLIN AND SCHOOLBOY Q AN
MY CHILDHOOD BABYSITTE TIFFANY O'BRIEN * * AND PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER
C.M. PUNK AND FORMER KENYAN PRESIDENT UHURU KENYATTA *
OH, FORGET IT. I CAN'T DO EVERYBODY * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Tariq: WELL, YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TODAY IS MY
BIRTHDAY, JIMMY. Jimmy: WELL, WE GOT A LOT OF JOKES TO TELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ AUDIENCE AWS ] GUYS, SOME BUSINESS -- SOME
BUSINESS NEWS. TODAY T.J. MAXX ANNOUNCED THAT THEY WERE CUTTING TIES WITH
KANYE WEST AND NO LONGER SELLING ANY OF HIS YEEZY MERCHANDISE.
AND -- AND I PERSONALLY THINK I HAD A SMALL PART IN THAT HERE'S A JOKE THAT WE DID FROM
THE MONOLOGUE LAST NIGHT THIS IS REAL
ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE PULLING
ALL YEEZY PRODUCTS FROM THEIR STORES MEANWHILE, T.J. MAXX IS LIKE,
"WE'LL SELL WHATEVER YOU GOT [ LAUGHTER ] WE LET IT RIP IN THIS PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, T.J. MAXX.
WE LOVE YOU GUYS [ APPLAUSE ] Steve: YOU'RE A MAXXANISTA.
Jimmy: YEAH GET THIS, EVERYONE SNOOP DOGG'S PROFESSIONAL BLUNT
ROLLER JUST REVEALED THAT SNOOP SMOKES UP TO 150 BLUNTS A DAY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, I'M WORRIED. BECAUSE IF THIS KEEPS UP, HE MIGHT FORM A HABIT
[ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, I HEARD ABOUT A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT ED SHEERAN
IN THE WORKS I LOVE ED SHEERAN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT SOUNDS COOL, BUT I'M NOT SURE THE PRODUCERS REALLY DID THEIR RESEARCH
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PROMO THEY RELEASED
*
WE'RE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE A A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT ONE OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MUSIC STARS,
ED SHEERAN WE'LL DIVE INTO ED SHEERAN'S LIFE, HIS DEDICATION TO MUSIC,
HIS HOBBIES AND INTERESTS, AND WE'LL LOOK AT NEVER BEFORE SEEN PHOTOS OF THE LEGENDARY
MUSICIAN AT HOME AND ON THE ROAD THE ED SHEERAN DOCUMENTARY,
DON'T MISS IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN,
JUST FEEL LIKE -- I FEEL LIKE THEY DIDN'T DO THEIR HOMEWORK. HEY, I SAW THAT THE NEW HORROR
SERIES "THE WATCHER" IS THE NUMBER ONE SHOW ON NETFLIX FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OVER 270 MILLION HOURS VIEWED SINCE IT'S RELEASE
WAIT, DID YOU SAY "THE WATCHER" Jimmy: YEAH
WHY? Steve: WELL, THAT'S WHAT THAT GUY WHO WROTE US THAT
LETTER CALLED HIMSELF. Jimmy: WHAT LETTER? Steve: THIS ONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: "DEAREST NEIGHBOR AT STUDIO 6B, ALLOW ME TO WELCOME
YOU TO THE BUILDING. I'VE BEEN PUT IN CHARGE OF WATCHING YOU
THIS MESSAGE WILL NOT BE THE LAST YOUR STUDIO IS MY OBSESSION,
AND NOW YOU ARE TOO. WHO AM I I AM THE WATCHER
I WILL NEVER STOP WATCHING." [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THANKS, JIMMY I'M A REALLY BIG FAN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, NICE TO SEE YOU. HE WATCHES
HE WATCHES THE SHOW. Steve: THAT'S THE WATCHER Jimmy: HERE YOU GO.
Steve: OH, THANK YOU. YEAH, THROW THE LETTER BACK. Jimmy: NO PROBLEM
GOT IT. Jimmy: YEAH, I GOT IT NO PROBLEM
SOME MORE -- [ APPLAUSE ] SOME MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
NEXT WEEK, "JEOPARDY!" IS BRINGING BACK ITS "TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS" WHERE -- I -- I
LOVE IT. -- WHERE THE YEAR'S BEST CONTESTANTS FACE OFF AGAINST
EACH OTHER YEAH, I SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR IT LAST NIGHT
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THEY PICKED THE BEST OF THE BEST FOR IT THOUGH.
I DON'T KNOW YOU GUYS BE THE JUDGE.
TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS.
1947'S NATIONAL SECURITY ACT ESTABLISHED THIS GOVERNMENT ENTITY
ELIZABETH. WHAT IS "FIGHT CLUB." NO.
IN 1965, WHEN THIS AMERICAN WROTE THE SONG, "HOMEWARD BOUND," HE WAS REALLY FAR FROM
HOME IN THE NORTH OF ENGLAND SUSAN. WHO IS BILLY CRYSTAL.
NO. [ LAUGHTER ] HERE IS A PAIR OF WIRELESS
THESE WITH A FRIENDLY NAME FERNANDO WHAT ARE PLANTS
NO. CHRIS? WHAT IS CHEDDAR CHEESE.
NO. IN 2022, PEOPLE STILL WISH TO KEEP UP WITH THIS TITLE REALITY
SHOW FAMILY. THEIR U.S. PREMIERE WAS THE BIGGEST IN HULU'S HISTORY.
TORY WHO ARE THE WRIGHT BROTHERS NO.
TAKING A CHANCE ON THIS PERSON WHO HANDS THE RINGS OVER DURING A WEDDING CEREMONY
RHIANAN. WHAT IS "CAKE BOSS? NO.
[ LAUGHTER ] IN 2019, THIS BRAND DROPPED "DONUTS" FROM ITS ADVERTISING
TO EMPHASIZE ITS BEVERAGES AND OTHER OFFERINGS. WHAT'S A DAB?
NO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: RIGHT, THAT'S
INTERESTING. WELL, THIS IS GOING VIRAL. AN ANTIQUE FURNITURE GALLERY
SHOWED OFF A RARE 19th CENTURY ITALIAN DESK THIS IS REAL
AN ITALIAN DESK, AND IT'S GOT A LOT OF STORAGE SPACE LOOK AT THIS THING
FIRST, WE HAVE HERE, IS YOU PRESS A BUTTON AND THE WRITING SLOPE COMES OUT.
THEN, ON THE SIDES, YOU PRESS ONE OF THE BUTTONS, AND A SECRET DRAWER COMES OUT.
YOU PRESS ANOTHER BUTTON ON THE INSIDE, AND SECRET DRAWERS COME OUT ON THE END
PRESS A BUTTON ON THE SIDE, THE LION HEADS COME OUT. AND THEN YOU PRESS A BUTTON
FURTHER HERE, AND TWO MORE DRAWERS COME OUT, ANOTHER DRAWER AT THE TOP.
PRESS A BUTTON, MORE DRAWERS AND THEN YOU PRESS ANOTHER BUTTON AND ANOTHER ONE
AND HERE'S THE CENTER PIECE FOR THIS ONE, WHERE YOU OPEN IT UP, THE DRAWERS COME OUT
OF COURSE, THESE ARE SECRET. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I'M SORRY.
THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT A WEED PROBLEM YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE UPDATE ON THE STORY, SNOOP DOGG JUST MOVED TO ITALY.
Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEP.
THE DESK ALSO COMES WITH A A PLACARD THAT SAYS SHADIEST MF'er OF ALL TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, THERE'S A LOT OF BAD THINGS GOING ON IN THE NEWS
RIGHT NOW, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SOLVED AT LEAST ONE PRESSING ISSUE
WATCH THIS
HORSE SHOES, BUT WHAT ABOUT HORSE SNEAKERS
A NEW COMPANY CALLED HORSE KICKS IS NOW SELLING HIGH END SNEAKERS MADE JUST FOR HORSES.
YOU'LL FIND LOTS OF THE MAJOR BRANDS, LIKE NEW BALANCE AND NIKE AIR JORDANS
YOU CAN EVEN GET YOUR HORSE SNEAKERS TO MATCH YOUR OWN [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: THEY HAVE HORSE SNEAKERS FROM NIKE, NEW BALANCE, AND EVEN THOSE GROSS
TOE SHOES THAT EVERYONE IS EMBARRASSED TO WEAR IN PUBLIC. [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY DON'T WEAR THEM IN PUBLIC ONLY AT HOME [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, COSTCO IS SELLING THE WORLD'S LARGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE
IT'S 29 FEET LONG, 8 FEET TALL, AND 60,000 PIECES. YEP, THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER
GOES ON YOUR COFFEE TABLE. THE BOTTOM RIGHT GOES IN ZIMBABWE
[ LAUGHTER ] AND A HELPFUL HINT, HERE'S WHAT I DID.
START BY TAKING SEVEN OR EIGHT DAYS TO FIND THE CORNER PIECES [ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HE IS ON ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME, "BIG BANG THEORY."
NOW HE'S STARRING IN THE OFF BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF "A MAN OF NO IMPORTANCE," WHICH IS IN
PREVIEWS NOW AT CLASSIC STAGE COMPANY. JIM PARSONS IS HERE TONIGHT.
Steve: COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALSO ON THE SHOW, ONE OF OUR
FAVORITES, ROSE BYRNE IS ON THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Steve: WOW. Jimmy: AND WE'VE GOT GREAT STAND-UP FROM ISABEL HAGEN,
EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HIGGINS, YOU USE SPOTIFY
Steve: I LOVE IT. Jimmy: YEAH, ME TOO I LOVE SPOTIFY
THIS IS COOL TODAY THEY RELEASED A BUNCH OF INTERESTING USER DATA.
Steve: REALLY Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE THEY HAVE, LIKE -- WHATEVER,
500 MILLION USERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Steve: SURE
Jimmy: THEY'RE FIGURING ALL OF THIS STUFF. AND IT'S FASCINATING
FASCINATING STUFF. I THOUGHT I CAN GO THROUGH SOME OF THE STUFF JUST SO YOU -
Steve: I'D LOVE TO SEE IT Jimmy: CHECK OUT -- LOOK AT THIS
WHEN IT COMES TO SPOTIFY USERS, 5% PREFER ROCK 5% PREFER ALTERNATIVE.
90% ONLY LISTEN TO TAYLOR SWIFT, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
FIGHT ME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Steve: WOW.
Jimmy: LET'S CHECK OUT SOME MORE DATA. 30% OF USERS PAY FOR SPOTIFY
70% CAN RECITE A YOPLAIT AD BY HEART. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
UP NEXT, 10% OF USERS LISTEN DURING THEIR COMMUTE 10% LISTEN BEFORE BED.
80% LISTEN DURING A WORK ZOOM WHILE THEY PRETEND TO PAY ATTENTION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP, 60% OF USERS LISTEN ON THEIR PHONE.
40% LISTEN ON THEIR DESKTOP. JOE BIDEN LISTENS ON A PLAYER PIANO.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE * Steve: "THAT'S RIGHT, JACK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HERE'S ANOTHER ONE HERE
50% OF USERS DOWNLOADED SPOTIFY BECAUSE THEY LIKE THE PLATFORM, WHILE 50% DOWNLOADED SPOTIFY
BECAUSE APPLE MUSIC KEPT AUTO PLAYING WHEN THEY CHARGED THEIR PHONE.
[ APPLAUSE ] [ LAUGHTER ] FINALLY, 5% OF PEOPLE LISTEN TO
MAROON 5, 20% LISTEN TO MATCHBOX TWENTY, 21% LISTEN TO 21 SAVAGE, 30% LISTEN TO
30 SECONDS TO MARS, AND 182% LISTEN TO BLINK 182. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
A LOT OF INTERESTING DATA THERE. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT
STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JIM PARSONS, EVERYBODY
I JUST KNOW THAT YOU LIKE -- I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE SPOTIFY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIM PARSONS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A FOUR-TIME EMMY WINNING ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE OFF BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF "A MAN OF NO
IMPORTANCE," WHICH IS IN PREVIEWS NOW AT CLASSIC STAGE COMPANY.
PLEASE WELCOME JIM PARSONS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* Jimmy: IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, JIM
HOW ARE YOU Jimmy: IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE YOU.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU'VE BEEN ON. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
IT HAS BEEN A WHILE. YES IT HAS Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING? LIFE IS VERY, VERY GOOD Jimmy: YEAH, YOU LOOK GREAT
THANK YOU I'M GLAD TO BE WORKING IN THEATER IN NEW YORK.
Jimmy: YEAH I WAS ASKING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND ON INSTAGRAM BECAUSE HE HAD
A THING THAT HE WAS DOING, AND I GO, "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS?"
HE'S A GREAT ARTIST. HE IS A GREAT ARTIST. Jimmy: AND DID YOU ALWAYS
KNOW HE WAS A PAINTER? I KNEW THAT HE WAS -- HE STUDIED ART IN SCHOOL.
WHEN I WAS MET HIM, HE WAS A A GRAPHIC DESIGNER AND THIS IS SO FUNNY
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ALMOST 20 YEARS NEXT MONTH IT'LL BE, AND I --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: VERY NICE. YOU KNOW IT'S FUNNY
YOU UNDERSTAND GETTING APPLAUSE FOR A LENGTHY RELATIONSHIP THE LONGER IT GOES ON.
[ LAUGHTER ] BEFORE IT WAS LIKE, IT'S JUST A PLEASURE
AND IT IS STILL JUST A A PLEASURE BUT YOU'RE LIKE, YEAH, IT'S AN
ACCOMPLISHMENT Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT 20 YEARS
NOT TO SHABBY. WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER -- FOR THE FIRST 18 YEARS, I DIDN'T
SEE HIM PAINT OR DRAW MORE THAN TWICE I'D SAY. AND HE'S KIND OF HAD A
A RENAISSANCE. HE'S BACK IN SCHOOL STUDYING DESIGN
BUT, YEAH, HE'S PAINTING DOGS. Jimmy: YEAH, HE HAS A A PAINTING
THOSE ARE OURS, YEAH. Jimmy: HERE'S A PAINTING OF YOU.
THAT'S ME WITH ONE OF THESE DOGS Jimmy: ARE YOU SLEEPING
HERE NO, I'M ACTUALLY WATCHING TV
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M SURE I'M WATCHING YOU, JIMMY.
Jimmy: OH WOW, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] I LAY DOWN.
I'M HORIZONTAL WHEN WE WATCH TV NORMALLY AND THE DOG SOMETIMES SNOOZES ON MY CHEST, YEAH.
Jimmy: YEAH I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT "THE BIG BANG THEORY," OBVIOUSLY,
EVERYONE LOVES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S JUST AS HOT AS IT EVER
WAS. BUT EVERYONE HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT LATELY BECAUSE OF THE
ORAL HISTORY THAT JUST CAME OUT. DO YOU SEE PEOPLE COMING UP TO
YOU STILL THAT ARE NEW FANS OR EVEN GETTING - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT NEW FANS
BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT, SINCE I'VE BEEN -- WE HAVEN'T DONE IT FOR THREE YEARS NOW OR SO.
AND JOBS THAT I'M WORKING, PEOPLE WHO I GUESS DIDN'T WATCH IT ALL, THAT I WILL BE WORKING
WITH SUDDENLY BE LIKE, "I WATCHED AN EPISODE LAST NIGHT. YOU WERE VERY GOOD ON IT."
I SAID, "THANK YOU." [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEY HAD NEVER SEEN IT
BEFORE BUT I GUESS I'M WORKING WITH THEM AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT
THE HELL DID HE DO ON THERE? [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S SO FUNNY.
Jimmy: OH MY GOSH IT'S THE BIGGEST SHOW EVER IT'S SWEET, YEAH.
Jimmy: BEFORE WE GET INTO YOUR SHOW, I ALSO WANT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE IN A NEW
FILM CALLED "SPOILER ALERT." YES Jimmy: WITHOUT SPOILING
ANYTHING - [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S ALREADY SPOILED.
IT'S A MOVIE BASED ON THE TRUE LIFE MEMOIR OF TV JOURNALIST MICHAEL AUSIELLO
HE AND HIS PARTNER, WHO EVENTUALLY BECAME HIS HUSBAND, LIVED IN NEW YORK ON A VERY
SIMILAR TRAJECTORY IN TIME TO ME AND MY HUSBAND HERE IN NEW YORK
AND HIS HUSBAND BATTLED CANCER AND EVENTUALLY PASSED AWAY SO, THIS IS THEIR JOURNEY
THROUGH THAT AND I THINK ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT IT IS
THE BY THAT MICHAEL, AS A PERSON AND THEN THE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, HE DEALT WITH --
HIS MOTHER PASSED AWAY FROM CANCER WHEN HE WAS A MUCH YOUNGER MAN.
AND IT REALLY AFFECTED, I THINK, THE WAY HE TACKLED HIS HUSBANDS' HAVING CANCER, REALLY
TRYING TO TAKE ACTION IN WAYS THAT HE COULDN'T HAVE AS A A CHILD.
AND UM, YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT'S HEARTBREAKING AND REALLY TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY, BUT
ALSO ONE OF THOSE THAT OPENS YOUR EYES TO THE LIFE YOU DO HAVE AND THE LOVE YOU CAN SHARE
IN A WAY THAT WITHOUT IT YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE AS CLEARLY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Jimmy: YEAH IT'S LIKE, YOU CAN'T REALLY LIVE AND LOVE WITHOUT
EXPERIENCING HEARTBREAK. AND I COULD CRY. I'M NOT GOING TO
Jimmy: YEAH, DON'T. [ LAUGHTER ] KEEP IT TOGETHER.
Jimmy: IT'S IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 2nd. IT OPENS NATIONWIDE DECEMBER
16th IT IS BEAUTIFUL. AND CHECK IT OUT
LET'S TALK ABOUT "A MAN OF NO IMPORTANCE." DO YOU LOVE DOING OFF BROADWAY
AS MUCH AS BROADWAY? I KNOW YOU'RE -- YES
THIS IS MY SECOND OFF BROADWAY SHOW I DID ONE.
WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO NEW YORK IN 2001. AND IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
LONG ENOUGH THAT -- WELL, 21 YEARS, THAT WE WERE REHEARSING IN THIS SPACE, IT'S
VERY SMALL, 200 SEATS OR SO. AND WE'RE IN AND OUT OF IT THEY'RE SO CLOSE THAT WE WERE
GETTING CLOSE TO AUDIENCE COMING I STARTED GETTING VERY UPTIGHT
ABOUT IT I WAS LIKE, "WOOF, THEY'RE GOING TO BE RIGHT HERE."
AND THEN THEN THEY ARRIVED AND IT'S WONDERFUL FOR ONE THING, IT'S SOMETHING
I'M VERY FAMILIAR WITH AND KIND OF HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT. THAT'S ALL THE THEATER I DID
GROWING UP IT WAS ALWAYS IN WEIRD LITTLE PLACES
IT WAS NEVER NICE, GRAND BROADWAY STAGES OR WHATEVER. Jimmy: YEAH
BUT, YEAH YOU KNOW, THE SHOW ITSELF IS A A VERY INTIMATE SHOW ABOUT A
A SMALL-TOWN GROUP OF PEOPLE IN DUBLIN AND IT'S PARTLY A MAN COMING TO
TERMS WITH WHO HE IS, BUT IT'S A LOT ABOUT WHAT IT IS TO MAKE THEATER.
AND SO, THERE'S THAT WHOLE FEEL ABOUT IT I KEEP SAYING, IF YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN ANYTHING IN A THEATER, THIS IS THE KIND OF SHOW THAT YOU WOULD GO AND SEE AND BE
COMPLETELY ADDICTED. YOU WOULD BE LIKE, I WANT TO DO THAT
WHAT THEY'RE MAKING THERE, IT'S JUST SO -- IT'S SO -- IT'S THE ESSENCE OF CREATIVITY.
I JUST LOVE IT Jimmy: ISN'T THAT GREAT I LOVE THAT.
YEAH. Jimmy: AND NOT ONLY IS IT AWESOME, IT'S ALREADY BEEN
EXTENDED, IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET. YES
WE HAVEN'T EVEN OPENED Jimmy: THE DEMAND, YEAH THAT WAS A TOUCH OF DUBLIN.
Jimmy: IT WAS A LITTLE OPEN YEAH, OF COURSE. BEFORE WE GO, I HEARD THAT THIS
STORY THAT WHEN YOU WERE A KID, YOU USED TO IMITATE JOHNNY CARSON.
OH, YES Jimmy: COMING - COMING BEHIND THE DRAPES,
YES. I WAS FIXATED ON A COUPLE THINGS
I ALSO WANTED A SWEATER IN THE CLOSET OF MR. ROGERS I DIDN'T WANT TO HOST HIS SHOW
I DIDN'T WANT TO HOST "THE TONIGHT SHOW," BUT I WANTED TO COME OUT OF THE DRAPES, WHICH
WAS PROBABLY A CLUE TO SOMETHING. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT ANYWAY, THAT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS Jimmy: WOULD YOU LIKE TO
COME THROUGH THE CURTAINS? OH, JIMMY REALLY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH YEAH.
Jimmy: YOU WANT TO HIT THAT MARK AT THE END? GO TO THAT MARK.
I'LL MEET YOU THERE. YOU'RE NOT GETTING A MONOLOGUE.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING. Jimmy: NO, NO, NO WE'RE NOT DOING A MONOLOGUE.
WE'LL CUT TO THERE I'LL INTRODUCE YOU AND THEN, CAN WE DO THAT, LIKE
AN INTRO ALL RIGHT, AND I'LL JUST -- I'LL BE THE ANNOUNCER.
[ DRUM ROLL AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIM PARSONS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
NOW WE KNOW HOW YOU WOULD DO IT LOOK AT THAT
HOW DID IT FEEL? WAS IT GOOD? IT'S REALLY COMFORTABLE
ACTUALLY Jimmy: IT FEELS GOOD ACTUALLY
I'M PROBABLY A REAL EGO MANIAC BECAUSE THAT FEELS REALLY COMFORTABLE
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE A A NATURAL. JIM PARSONS, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GO CHECK OUT "A MAN OF NO IMPORTANCE."
IT'S IN PREVIEWS NOW AT CLASSIC STAGE COMPANY. MORE OF "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER
THE BREAK. YOU CAME OUT AND IT WAS LIKE NATURAL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * WITH A TREE OVER THE TOP OF
THEM AND THEY -- IT'S A TREE OH, IT'S A WAVE. IT'S A WAVE.
THEY'RE SURFING. Jimmy: YES, IT IS [ DINGS
Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY TALENTED EMMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS.
SHE WAS JUST NAMED GLOBAL AMBASSADOR OF TOURISM AUSTRALIA, AND VOICES
A CHARACTER IN THEIR NEW SHORT FILM "G'DAY. PLEASE WELCOME ROSE BYRNE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HI. NOT BAD. Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE
SHOW I ALWAYS LOVE HAVING YOU ON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON.
Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR BEING NICE TO US WHEN WE WERE ZOOMING THE SHOW
WE REALLY NEEDED GUESTS. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I APPRECIATE IT.
MY PLEASURE IT'S BACK TO BUSINESS NOW. Jimmy: HOW ARE THE KIDS
DOING? THEY'RE GOOD. IT'S A LOT OF HALLOWEEN FEVER
IN MY HOUSE. Jimmy: SIX AND -- YES, THEY'RE SIX AND FIVE
Jimmy: HALLOWEEN FEVER? WHAT ARE THEY BEING? IT'S HECTIC
ROCCO, MY 6-YEAR-OLD, HE DECIDES HE'S IN CHARGE, SO I'M WONDER WOMAN
Jimmy: THERE YOU GO GOOD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I JUST GOT MY COSTUME IN THE MAIL
IT'S PRETTY NASTY. Jimmy: YOU GOT TO FIX IT. I GOT TO DO A LITTLE
CUSTOMIZING. AND BOBBY'S GOING TO BE THE HULK
Jimmy: OH, OF COURSE. [ APPLAUSE ] AND ROCCO'S GOING TO BE
THOR AND MY LITTLE ONE, RAFA, HE'S GOING TO BE JAFAR.
Jimmy: WOW. INTERESTING. INTERESTING CURVEBALL.
HE'S LIKE, NO, I WANT TO BE JAFAR. YEAH.
HE WAS PRACTICING HIS VOICE LAST NIGHT "THE REST OF THE TREASURE IS
MINE!" [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "JUST GIVE HIM THE
TREAT AND HE'LL GET OFF YOUR LAWN." HE'S GOT THE LITTLE HAT ON.
Jimmy: SO CUTE. IN AUSTRALIA, DID YOU HAVE HALLOWEEN?
WAS IT A BIG THING NO, WE DIDN'T WE HAD A CRAPPY PAIR OF
CARDBOARD EARS AND DREW ON WHISKERS AND, LIKE, YOU WOULD KNOCK ON
DOORS AND GET, LIKE, A CARROT AND AN APPLE SOMETHING.
[ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
Jimmy: WONDER WHY IT DIDN'T TAKE OFF YEAH, IT JUST WASN'T REALLY
A THING. HERE, IT'S LIKE MAGIC. I'M SO INTO IT
Jimmy: OH, IT'S THE GREATEST THING. IT'S WONDERFUL.
Jimmy: LAST TIME BOBBY WAS HERE, HE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE
HE'S PLAYING A NEIL DIAMOND IMPERSONATOR THAT YOU'RE PRODUCING?
YES, I PRODUCE WITH MY COMPANY, DOLL HOUSE PICTURES IT'S CALLED "SERIOUSLY RED."
AND HE KINDLY DID A LITTLE CAMEO -- WELL, HE HAS A BIG PART IN IT, AND I DO A LITTLE
CAMEO AS WELL. Jimmy: YOU PLAY AN ELVIS IMPERSONATOR
YES, SET IN THE WORLD OF IMPERSONATORS. HERE'S YOU AS THE DEBUT AS
ELVIS. NOT BAD. I LIKE THIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DID YOU -- DID YOU HAVE AN ELVIS IMPERSONATION?
I MEAN, YEAH. IT'S, LIKE, YOU KNOW, "THANK YOU VERY MUCH," THAT KIND OF
THING. IMPERSONATOR IS THE KEY, BUT IT WAS A LOT OF FUN
WE SHOT DURING COVID IN 2020 Jimmy: WHAT MADE YOU THINK, "ELVIS, THAT'S THE ONE I'M
GOING TO DO. WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND, KREW, SHE WROTE THE STORY.
IT'S ABOUT A YOUNG WOMAN, AND SHE'S A BIT OF A MISFIT. AND HER ASPIRATION IN LIFE IS
TO BE A DOLLY PARTON IMPERSONATOR IT'S AN ODE TO DOLLY PARTON.
IT'S A LOVE LETTER TO HER. ABOUT HER MUSIC, AND THE ICON SHE IS
Jimmy: AND THE CHARACTERS YOU MEET, AND THE PEOPLE YOU MEET
YES, YES. Jimmy: ARE YOU SO EXCITED YOU ARE A GLOBAL AMBASSADOR OF
AUSTRALIA. I KNOW. Jimmy: ROSE, IT DOESN'T GET
BIGGER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT DOESN'T GET BIGGER.
"COME AND SAY G' DAY." ROSE BYRNE, YOU'VE DONE IT ALL G'DAY, MATE
IT'S SO SURREAL. THESE CAMPAIGNS HAVE A GREAT LEGACY IN AUSTRALIA.
PAUL HOGAN FAMOUSLY DID ONE. CHRIS HEMSWORTH DID ONE. SO I FEEL VERY HONORED TO BE
PART OF THIS KIND OF STORY IT'S INCREDIBLE. Jimmy: ARE YOUR PARENTS
EXCITED? THEY ARE EXCITED. I TOOK MY DAD -- WE SHOT SOME
OF THE CAMPAIGN IN ULURU, WHICH IS IN THE MIDDLE OF AUSTRALIA. IT'S AN INCREDIBLE SPOT.
AND I TOOK MY DAD, WHICH IS REALLY CUTE. MY PARENTS ARE HERE TONIGHT
BACKSTAGE. WHAT'S UP, MOM AND DAD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: I DID GET A CHANCE TO SAY HI TO THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE.
MY BROTHER IS HERE. Jimmy: AND YOUR BROTHER TOO HE THINKS I SHOULD RETIRE
NOW THAT I GOT THIS CAMPAIGN Jimmy: HE'S LIKE, "OH, REALLY WHAT ELSE IS GOING TO
HAPPEN TO YOU, ROSE? THE FAVORITE CHILD." NO, NO, NO.
Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR BROTHER'S NAME GEORGE.
Jimmy: DO THEY --EVERYONE HAS NICKNAMES IN AUSTRALIA YES, WE DO.
Jimmy: GEORGIE? JERRY Jimmy: JERRY?
JERRY DOG Jimmy: WHAT WOULD I BE CALLED
WELL, YOU'RE JAMES OBVIOUSLY, RIGHT JIM.
SO, JIMBO. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I'VE BEEN CALLED
JIMBO. JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY JACK. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: I LIKE JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY JACK THAT'S PRETTY FUN.
WELL, THE BIG PART OF THE CAMPAIGN, HERE YOU ARE HERE. YOU ARE RUBY
YOU ARE THE TOY SOUVENIR OF KANGAROO [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
THIS IS -- AND ALSO THE DIRECTOR YES
OLD FRIEND OF MINE, MICHAEL GRACEY, WHO DIRECTED "THE GREATEST SHOWMAN.
Jimmy: A LITTLE FILM. LITTLE FILM [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: NO BIG DEAL. HE DIRECETED THIS, AND IT'S REALLY SWEET
IT'S SEEN THROUGHT THE EYES OF RUBY THE ROO WHO I VOICE THIS CHARACTER.
SHE'S GIFT SHOP KANGAROO, AND SHE'S DESPERATE TO BREAK OUT OF THE GIFT SHOP AND EXPLORE,
EXPLORE THE COUNTRY. AND SHE'S VERY INNOCENT, AND CURIOUS, AND WARM, AND FUN, AND
LOVELY, LIKE AUSTRALIANS ARE Jimmy: YEAH, THEY ARE I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE FULL FILM AT AUSTRALIA.COM, BUT HERE'S A A LITTLE CLIP.
HERE'S ROSE BYRNE AS RUBY IN "G'DAY." TAKE A LOOK.
THERE ARE, LIKE, THOUSANDS OF THINGS YOU CAN SEE ON THE REEF
CORAL, TURTLES, BOOBIES, TINY SEA -- WAIT A SECOND
DID YOU SAY CORRAL G'DAY, WELCOME ABOARD WOO'HOO BOAT TRIP
COME ON, LOUIE THIS IS HUMILIATING AND ALSO STRANGELY COMFORTING.
HOLD ON EXCUSE ME. LET'S GO FOLKS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT YES, WE ARE
Jimmy: I MEAN, COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "G'DAY."
ROSE BYRNE WE ARE PLAYING A FUN GAME WITH ROSE AFTER THE BREAK
STAY HERE. HERE FOR MORE SHORT FILM TOURISM AUSTRALIA, STICK
AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. I'M HANGING OUT WITH ROSE BYRNE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WE KNOW YOU'RE FROM AUSTRALIA. YOU DO A LOT TO PROMOTE TOURISM
THERE. SO, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO PLAY A FUN AUSTRALIAN-THEMED NEW
GAME CALLED "DOWN UNDER DRAWING CHALLENGE." HERE WE GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ** Jimmy: NOW, WE HAVE A STACK
OF AUSTRALIAN INSPIRED CLUES. YOU AND I ARE GOING TO TAKE TURNS PICKING A CLUE, DRAWING ON
THIS TABLET. BUT SINCE IT'S THE "DOWN UNDER DRAWING CHALLENGE," YOU DRAW THE
CLUE, AND IT'LL BE SHOWN UPSIDE-DOWN ON THE SCREEN BEHIND US.
ONCE, YOU START DRAWING, THE OTHER PERSON HAS 25 SECONDS TO GUESS THE CLUE, OKAY?
ROSE, SINCE YOU'RE MY GUEST, WHY DON'T YOU DRAW FIRST? OKAY.
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE SO LUCKY. HERE WE GO. SO YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THIS.
Jimmy: NO, I WON'T LOOK AT THIS. YOU PICK THE CLUE, AND I HAVE
25 SECONDS TO GUESS IT. ALL RIGHT. SO JUST DRAW IT NORMAL, I GUESS.
LET'S START THE CLOCK. GO. **
HAND. A RING. OH, CROCODILE.
YES! Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? [ DINGS ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I CHEATED A LITTLE BIT. GOOD TRY.
VERY WELL DONE. UPSIDE-DOWN IT EVEN LOOKED GOOD. EVEN UPSIDE-DOWN I LOVED IT.
LET ME CLEAR THIS. WELL DONE, WELL DONE. OKAY.
Jimmy: HERE WE GO -- SO, NOW I LOOK HERE.
Jimmy: OR YOU CAN -- HERE WE GO. OKAY.
** WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.
OH, IT'S A PERSON. UPSIDE-DOWN PERSON IN A POND WITH A TREE OVER THE TOP OF THEM
AND THEY -- IT'S A TREE. OH, IT'S A WAVE.
IT'S A WAVE. THEY'RE SURFING. Jimmy: YES, IT IS.
[ DINGS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES, YES, YES, YES.
Jimmy: I KEEP FORGETTING IT'S UPSIDE-DOWN BEHIND ME. I'M LIKE, "HOW ARE YOU NOT
GETTING THIS? "IT'S CLEARLY --" OKAY.
THIS IS YOURS. HERE WE GO, BUD. I'M NOT LOOKING, BUT THEN I'LL
LOOK. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
Jimmy: YEP. 25. GO.
** NOTHING. [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, HAIR. HAIRPIECE. OH, IT'S UPSIDE-DOWN.
FLAMES. BONFIRE. WATER AGAIN?
HEN. LOCH NESS MONSTER. A BOAT.
TEETH. OH, IT'S A SUN. IT'S MOUNTAINS.
A STORM. NO. Jimmy: IT'S LIGHTNING.
[ BUZZER ] THAT'S A REALLY BAD DRAWING. Jimmy: IS THAT THE OPERA
HOUSE? YEAH. Jimmy: THAT'S VERY HARD.
HOW WOULD I -- OF COURSE, AUSTRALIAN-THEMED CLUES. THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC. NO, I BOMBED THAT. Jimmy: AUDIENCE SAYS, "YES."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I FORGOT -- IT LOOKS LIKE --
Jimmy: YOU WERE FANTASTIC. THAT WAS ACTUALLY AWESOME. I WAS LOOKING AT IT UPSIDE-DOWN
AS WELL. SORRY. Jimmy: AUSTRALIAN-THEMED
CLUES. OKAY. HERE WE GO.
WHAT? WOW. **
NOTHING. OH. FISH.
A FISH. FISHY. FISHY AND A BLOBBY BLOB BLOB.
BIRDS, BIRDS, BIRDS, BIRDS. CORAL REEF. Jimmy: YES!
[ DINGS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOT BAD.
I'M PROUD OF MY -- THAT WAS REALLY HARD. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
Jimmy: I'VE NEVER SEEN CORAL REEF BEFORE. THAT'S A GOOD CORAL REEF,
FRIEND. Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE HERE, BUD.
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE AS WELL. WE'LL BOTH DRAW AT THE SAME
TIME. WE'RE GOING TO SEE IF WE CAN GET QUESTLOVE TO GUESS WHAT WE'RE
DRAWING. Questlove: OKAY. Jimmy: YOU READY?
WE'LL DRAW THE SAME THING. OKAY, OKAY. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD. ARE WE DOING THIS TOGETHER? Jimmy: YEAH.
Questlove: HARBOR BRIDGE? BONDY BEACH? WAIT, IS THIS UPSIDE-DOWN?
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YES. I THOUGHT WE WERE DRAWING IT
SEPARATELY. Questlove: THAT'S NOT A KNIFE.
Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT THAT -- [ BUZZER ] OH, MY GOD.
WERE WE EVEN CLOSE? HOW ABOUT LOOK AT IT RIGHT-SIDE UP, AND SEE WHAT IT IS.
Questlove: SHRIMP -- Jimmy: YES. Questlove: IS THAT SHRIMP ON
THE BARBIE? Jimmy: YES! [ DINGS ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH! Jimmy: SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE!
ROSE BYRNE, EVERYBODY. HEY, IF YOU'RE PLANNING YOUR NEXT VACATION, BE SURE TO CHECK
OUT AUSTRALIA.COM. WE LOVE AUSTRALIA. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"TONIGHT SHOW." STICK AROUND. HE KNOWS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST WILL BE PERFORMING HER SOLO SHOW,
"IMAGINE I'M SOMEONE ELSE," AT UNION HALL IN NEW YORK CITY, NOVEMBER 2nd.
PLEASE WELCOME, THE VERY FUNNY, ISABEL HAGEN.
**
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. OH, IT IS SO GOOD TO BE BACK IN
NEW YORK. I JUST DID A SHOW IN A SMALL TOWN IN MISSOURI, AND THEY HAD
ME AT A HOTEL. AND AT THE HOTEL, THERE WAS A A POSTER OF ME IN THE ELEVATOR.
AND I'M NOT FAMOUS. SO, TO OTHER PEOPLE IT JUST KIND OF LOOKED LIKE I PUT IT
THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO, ANY TIME I GOT ON THE
ELEVATOR, I JUST HAD TO PRAY NO ONE ELSE WOULD BE ON WITH ME AND MY DUMB POSTER.
AND I GOT ON THE FIRST DAY, AND THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE. SO, I QUICKLY, LIKE, STEPPED
BACK TO, KIND OF, BLOCK IT WITH MY BODY, BUT I MISSED, AND I JUST SORT OF STOOD NEXT TO IT.
THE SAD IS SHOWING UP. LOOK FAMILIAR? [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I FLEW HOME FROM MISSOURI, AND THERE WAS A KID BEHIND ME WHO CRIED THE WHOLE FLIGHT.
YEAH, NOT A BABY. A CHILD. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT ABOUT TWO HOURS IN, HE SPOKE AMONGST THE CRYING, AND
HE WAS BRITISH. AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, ALL IS FORGIVEN.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ADORABLE." "MUMMY, YOU WON'T LET ME WATCH
THE TELE." [ LAUGHTER ] LET HIM WATCH THE TELE.
[ LAUGHTER ] HE'S CLEARLY A GENIUS. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND VERY CHARMING. THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T HAVE, LIKE, A BRITISH BOYFRIEND.
YOU KNOW, I'D LET HIM TREAT ME LIKE CRAP. "I'VE CHEATED ON YOU."
SAY IT AGAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] SO I'M A COMEDIAN, AND I ALSO
AM A CLASSICAL MUSICIAN. I PLAY THE VIOLA. [ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH, ALL RIGHT. I LIVE A BIT OF A DOUBLE LIFE. AND I STILL PLAY VIOLA GIGS
AROUND NEW YORK CITY. AND I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW, BUT IN THE PAST, I HAVE GONE HOME
WITH A GUY AFTER A VIOLA GIG. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I DO VERY WELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] NO. THE WORST PART ABOUT IT, IS
JUST THE NEXT MORNING DOING THE WALK OF SHAME WITH THE VIOLA. YOU KNOW?
[ LAUGHTER ] I GET IN MY HEAD, I'M LIKE, "OH, IF I HAD A GUITAR, THAT
WOULD BE COOLER." PEOPLE WOULD SEE ME, THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, SHE'S COOL.
THIS CHICK'S IN A BAND, OF COURSE, SHE GOT SOME ACTION." [ LAUGHTER ]
WITH THE VIOLA, IT'S JUST LIKE, "OH, LITTLE MS. GOODY-GOODY GOT LAID AFTER THE SYMPHONY
CONCERT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT A NERDY WHORE."
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, I DO COMEDY, AND I PLAY VIOLA, AND PEOPLE ASK ME
SOMETIMES, LIKE, "OH, DO YOU EVER COMBINE THE TWO IN YOUR ACT?"
AND I USUALLY SAY, "NO," BECAUSE I'M NOT A HACK, BUT -- [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
BUT ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE ASKED, SO I'VE DECIDED TO HUMOR THEM. SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M
GOING TO PLAY A LITTLE VIOLA AND THEN DO A LITTLE STAND-UP, AND WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES
TOGETHER, ALL RIGHT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LITTLE VIOLA, LITTLE STAND-UP.
** MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE THINKING OF HAVING A THREESOME.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE'RE BOTH DOWN FOR THE THREESOME.
THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. THE BAD NEWS IS, HE, OF COURSE, IMAGINES IT LIKE HIM, ANOTHER
GIRL, ME. I IMAGINE IT, ME, ANOTHER GUY, ANOTHER GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER ] ** MY FRIEND ASKED ME HOW I STAY
SO SKINNY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER. FOR ME, IT'S JUST GENETICS.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, MY GRANDMA ALSO STARVES HERSELF. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
** I DEAL WITH A LOT OF NEGATIVE SELF TALK.
AND MY THERAPIST WAS LIKE, "WELL TRY TALKING TO YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WOULD A GOOD
FRIEND. YOU WOULDN'T SAY ALL THOSE MEAN THINGS TO HER."
I'M LIKE, "YEAH, NOT TO HER FACE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
** ** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN, AND I'M LIKE, "LOOK, BUDDY, I'VE GOT OTHER THINGS I
WANT TO DO BEFORE I SETTLE DOWN, YOU KNOW, LIKE FIND THE RIGHT PERSON."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] I'VE BEEN ISABEL HAGEN. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ** Jimmy: COME ON, BUDDY!
FANTASTIC. ISABEL HAGEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ISABEL WILL BE AT UNION HALL IN NEW YORK CITY, NOVEMBER 2nd. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.
OH, MY GOSH -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
Jimmy: MY THANKS TO JIM PARSONS, ROSE BYRNE, ISABEL HAGEN, ONCE AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE, FROM PHILADELPHIA,
PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. BYE-BYE.