>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - SYLVESTER STALLONE
LINDA CARDELLINI MUSICAL GUEST LOUIS TOMLINSON, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1744 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS.
WELCOME! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YES!
LOOKING GOOD ENJOY YOURSELF ENJOY YOURSELF, PLEASE
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU GUYS, IT'S VETERANS DAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * TONIGHT OUR AUDIENCE IS MADE UP
OF VETERANS AND ACTIVE MILITARY THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING
HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELCOME.
BETWEEN ALL OF YOU OUT HERE AND SYLVESTER STALLONE BACKSTAGE, I'VE NEVER FELT SO SAFE IN MY
ENTIRE LIFE. [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST WANT TO SAY TO EVERYONE
HERE AND WATCHING AT HOME, THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING US FROM OUR BIGGEST THREATS, BOTH
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, I COULD NEVER DO WHAT ALL OF YOU GUYS DO THE CLOSEST I'VE BEEN TO A WAR
ZONE WAS THIS MORNING WHEN I LOGGED ON TO TWITTER IT WAS UGLY.
[ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE THERE WAS A BIG VETERANS DAY PARADE HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT INCLUDED 25 FLOATS,
20,000 MARCHERS, AND ONE GUY WHO'S STILL FINISHING THE MARATHON
YOU'RE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN DO IT.
COME ON, BUDDY, GO!" WELL, SO MANY OF YOU IN TONIGHT'S AUDIENCE EARNED SOME
AMAZING MEDALS OVER YOUR CAREER I THINK SOMETIMES CIVILIANS CAN
FEEL A LITTLE LEFT OUT SO WE DECIDED TO MAKE SOME MEDALS THAT REGULAR PEOPLE CAN
EARN TOO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.
FOR INSTANCE, THERE'S A MEDAL FOR OWNING AN ELECTRIC CAR WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE YOU OWN
AN ELECTRIC CAR. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, "I DON'T PAY --"
YOU'RE LIKE, "OKAY, BUT YEAH, I HEARD YOU. THERE'S ALSO A MEDAL FOR
LEAVING TARGET WITH ONLY WHAT YOU WALKED IN TO BUY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
NEXT, THERE'S A MEDAL FOR SPOTTING DEER IN THE YARD WITHOUT YELLING, "DEER!"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT, THERE'S A MEDAL FOR TEXTING BACK, "SORRY, I DID SEE
THIS I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO RESPOND. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AND FINALLY, THERE'S A MEDAL FOR GROWING A BEARD TO LOOK TOUGH IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF
VETERANS THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING I'M TRYING
I'M SO HONORED AND THRILLED THAT OUR AUDIENCE IS FILLED WITH MEN AND WOMEN WHO SERVED
IN UNIFORM BUT, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE A STICKLER ABOUT THIS.
BUT WHEN WE SAY SERVED IN UNIFORM, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY, SO, I'M
SORRY, SIR, BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE. >> WAIT, WAIT.
NO, NO, HOLD ON. >> Jimmy: NO, NO, I'M SORRY. >> WAIT, JUST A SEC.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO >> THIS IS A UNIFORM >> Jimmy: NO, NO, THAT'S -
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HOLD ON WAIT, WAIT
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO >> WAIT. YOU GOTTA WAIT
[ CHEERS ] YOU WAIT, HOLD ON. NO, HOLD ON.
OH NO. NO >> Jimmy: I APPRECIATE -
>> YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! >> Jimmy: HEY, NO, COME ON >> YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.
>> Jimmy: GET HIM OUT OF HERE. [ APPLAUSE ] SORRY ABOUT THAT
LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT THIS IN HIS FIRST ADDRESS TO TWITTER
EMPLOYEES, ELON MUSK SAID THAT BANKRUPTCY IS A POSSIBILITY. ANSWERING THE QUESTION, "WHAT'S
THE OPPOSITE OF A MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH?" [ LAUGHTER ]
TWITTER ALSO SUSPENDED THE LAUNCH OF TWITTER BLUE, BECAUSE SO MANY USERS WERE PAYING TO BE
VERIFIED, THEN IMPERSONATING OTHER PEOPLE SERIOUSLY, IT'S A MESS OVER
THERE. I KNEW THE IMPERSONATIONS WERE A PROBLEM WHEN POPE FRANCIS
SLID INTO MY DMs [ LAUGHTER ] AND DID YOU SEE THIS
I READ THAT ALMOST EVERY MAJOR CRYPTOCURRENCY IS CRASHING RIGHT NOW THE ONLY BITCOIN
WINNERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO NEVER WASTED THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PRETTY SHOCKING, IT TURNS OUT FAKE MONEY IS NOT AS VALUABLE
AS YOU THINK [ LAUGHTER ] SOME NEWS FROM OVERSEAS --
TODAY PRESIDENT BIDEN WAS AT A A CLIMATE SUMMIT IN EGYPT, AND DURING HIS SPEECH, SOMEONE
INTERRUPTED HIM WITH A LOUD SOUND. CHECK THIS OUT
>> AS I STAND HERE BEFORE YOU, WE'VE TAKEN ENORMOUS STRIDES TO ACHIEVE THAT -
[ WHOOPING ] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT I DON'T STAND HERE ALONE
[ LAUGHTER ] [ RIM SHOT ] >> Jimmy: NO, YOU'RE NOT
NO, YOU'RE NOT ALONE IT'S YOU AND A PACK OF COYOTES [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU COULD TELL FOR A SECOND BIDEN WAS LIKE, "PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE HEARING THIS SOUND
TOO. [ LAUGHTER ] "IT'S NOT MY TIME YET.
PLEASE IT'S NOT MY -- [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, I SAW THAT A BIOPIC ABOUT SNOOP DOGG'S LIFE IS IN THE
WORKS AND RIGHT NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE BEST NAME FOR THE MOVIE
FOR EXAMPLE, THEY'RE CONSIDERING NAMES LIKE - >> Tariq: AH, HERE WE GO
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT'S UP, TARIQ >> Tariq: LET ME GUESS
YOU'RE GONNA LIST A BUNCH OF FAKE MOVIE TITLES ABOUT SNOOP DOGG, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, YEAH, THAT WAS THE PLAN >> Tariq: AND THEN, LIKE,
A LITTLE GRAPHIC'LL POP UP SO EVERYONE CAN SEE THE TITLES AND LAUGH ALONG.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. I WANT TO SHOW OUR AUDIENCE A GOOD TIME.
>> Tariq: YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS'LL GO DOWN. SEE, FIRST A GRAPHIC WILL POP
UP WITH A PICTURE OF SNOOP DOGG THAT SAYS "SNOOP'S MOVIE TITLES."
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> Tariq: AND THEN UNDER THAT YOU'LL LIST THE FAKE TITLES
LIKE, "ALL'S QUIET ON THE WESTERN BLUNT. [ LAUGHTER ]
OR "THERE WILL BE BUD. >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: I KNOW, I'M JUST SPIT-BALLING HERE. STUFF LIKE "HIGH-TANNIC.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN -- AND THEN, OF COURSE "THE SHAW-DANK REDEMPTION.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, "SOME LIKE IT HOT-BOXED.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: YEAH, YEAH
"WHO'S HEATING GILBERT'S VAPE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT
>> Tariq: AND THEN YOU'LL DO, YOU KNOW, "BAKED ON A PLANE" OR "SPLIFFHANGER" OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Tariq: OH, AND, UH, "SNACK
PANTHER. "SNACK PANTHER," FOLLOWED BY "SNACK PANTHER: WAKANDA
FOR-REEFER." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ RIM SHOT ]
AND THEN - [ APPLAUSE ] AND THEN YOU'LL PROBABLY END ON
SOMETHING TOPICAL LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, INSTEAD OF "JOHN WICK," YOU'LL JUST GO WITH "CHRON
ICK. >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: IS THAT HOW THIS IS GONNA GO >> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU NAILED IT. >> Tariq: COOL IT'S A FUN BIT
YOU SHOULD DO IT >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE'LL DO IT NEXT WEEK, THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I'LL DO IT NEXT WEEK "WAKANDA FOR-REEFER. HEY GUYS, GET THIS -
I HEARD THAT THE NATIONAL TOY HALL OF FAME JUST INDUCTED THE TOP, LITE-BRITE, AND MASTERS OF
THE UNIVERSE YEAH, THEY PRAISED LITE-BRITE FOR INTRODUCING MILLIONS OF
KIDS TO THE FEELING OF BEING BURNT BY A SCALDING HOT LIGHT BULB
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THIS YEAR'S TOY HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES ARE THE
TOP, LITE-BRITE, AND MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE AND THIS IS VERY INTERESTING,
THEY ALSO ANNOUNCED A LIST OF THE WORST TOYS >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: YEAH CHECK OUT SOME OF THESE. FIRST UP THERE'S RUBRIC'S CUBE,
YELLOW ONLY EDITION. [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT UP, THERE'S BARBIE CAN'T
AFFORD DREAM HOUSE [ LAUGHTER ] SAD.
NEXT THERE'S PRE-DROPPED PLAY-DOH >> Steve: EW
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ RIM SHOT ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S SO -
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: CAN WE SHOW THAT ON TELEVISION
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD PRE-DROPPED. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY THE WORST TOY OF ALL, TICKLE-BACK ELMO
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TICKLES YOU BACK
IT'S WEIRD FINALLY, THIS IS EXCITING -- TOMORROW THE ROCKEFELLER CENTER
CHRISTMAS TREE IS GOING UP [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT KICKS OFF THAT SPECIAL TWO
MONTHS IN NEW YORK CITY WHEN EVEN NAVY SEALS ARE LIKE, "LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF
HERE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WELCOME. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
GUYS, BE SURE TO TUNE IN TO OUR SHOW MONDAY NIGHT. WE HAVE A BIG SHOW -- ALL NEXT
WEEK WE HAVE A BIG SHOW. NONE OTHER THAN BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WILL BE HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'RE TALKING TO HIM HE'LL BE PERFORMING A SONG OFF
HIS NEW ALBUM "ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE. LOTS MORE.
MONDAY NIGHT, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THAT.
BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW SHOW,
"TULSA KING," WHICH PREMIERES ON PARAMOUNT PLUS THIS SUNDAY. SYLVESTER STALLONE IS HERE
TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MY MAN
>> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: LOVE HIM PLUS, SHE STARS IN "DEAD TO
ME," WHICH RETURNS FOR ITS THIRD AND FINAL SEASON NOVEMBER 17th ON NETFLIX
LINDA CARDELLINI IS ON THE SHOW >> Steve: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC. LOUIS TOMLINSON IS HERE
TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND YOU ARE HERE TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TODAY IS VETERANS DAY, AND TONIGHT'S AUDIENCE IS MADE UP
ENTIRELY OF VETERANS, ACTIVE MILITARY, AND THEIR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO THIS COUNTRY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE P WE'RE HONORED. WE'RE HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME. THANK YOU, THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FANTASTIC. GUYS, TODAY IS FRIDAY, AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP
ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF I CHECK MY INBOX, RETURN SOME EMAILS, AND OF COURSE SEND OUT
THANK YOU NOTES. AND I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND SO I THOUGHT -
YEAH, THANK YOU, SIR OR MA'AM. [ LAUGHTER ] IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T MIND, CAN
I WRITE OUT SOME THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I APPRECIATE THAT. JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE
* [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WOW.
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: HE'S IN A GOOD MOOD. >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: HE'S IN A GOOD MOOD TONIGHT. *
THANK YOU, THIS WEEK, FOR GIVING US 70 DEGREE WEATHER ONE DAY, 30 DEGREES THE NEXT, AND
BLACKING OUT AT 5:00 P.M MOTHER NATURE, YOU'RE DRUNK. GO TO BED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * THANK YOU, WOOL SCARVES, FOR
GIVING EVERYONE RESTING ITCH FACE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: NICE * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, SPACE
FORCE UNIFORMS, FOR MAKING SERVICE MEMBERS LOOK VERY PREPARED TO PROTECT AN
F.A.O. SCHWARZ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON.
POOR SPACE FORCERS >> Jimmy: WELL, THERE'S NO SPACE FORCE VETERANS
>> Steve: YEAH, NO [ LAUGHTER ] EXACTLY.
>> Jimmy: SO WE CAN -- >> Steve: COME ON. >> THEY'RE CALLED SPACE CADETS
>> Jimmy: YES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: THANK YOU.
SPACE CADETS * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, STANDING
DESKS, FOR BEING A GREAT WAY TO STAY FIT AT WORK FOR THREE WEEKS UNTIL YOU GO, "HEY, DOES
ANYONE WANT THIS STANDING DESK?" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"MY BACK IS KILLING ME." >> Steve: AND THE BALL *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, SALAD TONGS, FOR LOOKING LIKE A SPOON, A FORK, AND A PAIR OF
SCISSORS ARE IN A THROUPLE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THROUPLE
* >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, CAPTAIN AMERICA CHRIS EVANS, FOR BEING
NAMED "PEOPLE'S" SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, BUT COME ON, YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE BEST LOOKING CAPTAIN IN THIS ROOM
COME ON! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT.
THOSE ARE MY THANK YOU NOTES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "FREESTYLIN' WITH THE ROOTS,"
EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* LARRY McDANIELS TOO HOT TO GET OVER I
HE'S THE SNOOP DOGG * * OF THE ARMY GOING TO CALIFORNI
SMOKING TREES * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GUYS, I ALWAYS SAY OUR SHOW IS LUCKY TO HAVE THE GREATEST BAND IN LATE NIGHT.
THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BUT IT ISN'T ALWAYS FUN AND GAMES. FROM TIME TO TIME WE PUT THE
ROOTS TO THE TEST. AND BECAUSE IT'S VETERANS DAY, WE'RE GOING TO PICK THREE
VETERANS FROM OUR AUDIENCE AND HAVE THE ROOTS MAKE UP SONGS ABOUT THEM ON THE SPOT
IT IS TIME FOR "FREESTYLIN' WITH THE ROOTS: VETERANS DAY EDITION.
* FREESTYLE WITH THE ROOTS * >> Jimmy: OH, I SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE
ROOTS, READY TO DO THIS? ALL RIGHT. WHO WANTS THE ROOTS TO WRITE A
A SONG ABOUT THEM? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL THE WAY UP IN THE MIDDLE
RIGHT THERE. ALL THE WAY UP -- YEAH YOU'VE GOT SOME SPIRIT
YOU DON'T COME DOWN. YOU STAY THERE YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT
YOU CAN HOST IF YOU WANT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? WHAT BRANCH DID YOU SERVE IN
>> MY NAME IS LARRY McDANIELS. I WAS IN THE ARMY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: HEY LARRY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. LARRY, HOLIDAY TRAVEL SEASON IS
COMING UP. IF YOU COULD GO ON A TRIP ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE
WOULD IT BE? >> PROBABLY CALIFORNIA I LIKE CALIFORNIA.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SMOKE THEM TREES, SMOKE THEM TREES.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SMOKE THEM TREES
OKAY LARRY, WHEN YOU TRAVEL, DO YOU PREFER AN AISLE OR WINDOW SEAT
>> WINDOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT. >> YES
>> Jimmy: WHY WOULD YOU WANT AN AISLE? >> I WANT THE WINDOW
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO ARGUE
THAT'S IT. I JUST WANT THE WINDOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
ROOTS, WE HAVE LARRY WHO SERVED IN THE ARMY. IF HE COULD TAKE A TRIP
ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THE ENTIRE WORLD, INCLUDING JAMAICA.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO. >> Jimmy: ANYWHERE IN THE
WORLD, HE WANTS TO GO TO CALIFORNIA >> SMOKE TREES
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SMOKE SOME TREES. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND HE SAID BETWEEN THE AISLE SEAT OR WINDOW SEAT, HE'S
A WINDOW SEAT PERSON ROOTS, LET'S GET A LITTLE FUNKY IN HERE.
LET'S DO A FUNKADELIC. SOMETHING LIKE - *
* YEA LARRY McDANIEL TOO HIGH TO GET OVER I
HE'S THE SNOOP DOGG * * OF THE ARMY GOING TO CALIFORNI
SMOKE THEM TREES ONLY IN A WINDOW SEAT * * ONE NATIO
UNDER THIS ROO DIFFERENT BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY *
* LARRY McDANIELS HE'S ON THE MOVE SNOOP DOGG OF TH
ARMED FORCES YEAH YEAH * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LARRY!
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, LARRY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THAT'S FANTASTIC THANK YOU. LET'S GET ANOTHER -- WHO WANTS
THE ROOTS TO WRITE A SONG? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE RIGHT THERE IN THE WHITE
SWEATER RIGHT THERE IN THE CREAM SWEATER RIGHT THERE. >> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND
WHAT BRANCH ARE YOU SERVING? >> MY NAME IS KAYLEY POLLADORA I'M IN THE ARMY.
>> Jimmy: HEY, KAYLEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING
HERE SOMEONE JUST WON $2 BILLION ON THE POWERBALL.
IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHO'S THE FIRST PERSON YOU WOULD CALL
>> I'D CALL MY GRANDMA >> Jimmy: AH [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
AND WHO'S SITTING NEXT TO YOU? >> MY BOYFRIEND. >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] CALL GRANDMA GIVE GRANDMA A CALL.
WHAT IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU EVER BOUGHT? >> I WOULD PROBABLY SAY WORKOUT
CABLES BECAUSE THEY JUST SIT IN MY CLOSET. >> Jimmy: YOU MEAN THE STRETCHY
RUBBER BAND THINGS >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YOU NEVER
USE THOSE THINGS I KNOW EXACTLY THOSE THINGS. RUBBER BAND THINGS
OKAY GUYS, WE HAVE KAYLEY SERVED IN THE ARMY IF SHE WON THE LOTTERY, FIRST
PERSON SHE'D CALL IS GRANDMA AND THE DUMBEST THING SHE EVER BOUGHT WAS THOSE WORKOUT
CABLES, THOSE RUBBER BAND, THOSE STRETCHY THINGS. AND FOR THIS ONE, CAN WE DO
A COUNTRY VIBE, LIKE A FANCY LIKE, LIKE A WALKER HAYES TYPE OF JAM
* * HER NAME KAYLEE SHE LOVES HER FAMILY
SO IF SHE HIT THE LOTTER SHE'D CALL HER GRAMMY * * THE DUMBEST THING SHE EVE
BOUGHT WAS WORKOUT CABLE HER BOYFRIEND'S WITH HER JUST SO YOU WON'T BE ABL
DON'T CALL HER KATIE * * DON'T CALL HER BABY HER NAME IS KAYLEE
YOU MUST BE CRAZ AND IF SHE WON * * TWO BILLION DOLLARS
SHE'S BE SWAZY SHE'S IN THE ARM AND IT'S NOT THE NAVY *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, KAYLEE! COME ON.
THE ROOTS CAN DO ANYTHING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HOW ABOUT SOMEONE HERE IN THE
FRONT? >> OH, MY GOD. >> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND
WHAT BRANCH DID YOU SERVE? [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> MY NAME IS ADRIAN
>> Jimmy: ADRIAN, VERY GOOD. >> IN THE ARMY >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I SAW THAT ADRIAN, TAYLOR SWIFT RECENTLY
ANNOUNCED HER NEW "ERAS" WORLD TOUR ERAS
WHAT WAS THE FIRST CONCERT YOU EVER WENT TO >> A TYREESE CONCERT AFTER THE
CIRCUS [ LAUGHTER ] RINGLING BROTHERS USED TO HAVE
A CONCERT SERIES RIGHT AFTER THE END OF THE CIRCUS. AND YOU STICK AROUND AND HE
SANG THE COCA-COLA SONG. * * ALWAYS COCA-COL
YEAH * >> Jimmy: TYREESE? AFTER A CIRCUS
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WOW. ADRIAN, IS THERE AN ERA OF YOUR
LIFE YOU WISH YOU COULD REVISIT? >> THE '90s.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: REALLY
WHY THE '90s
>> I WAS A TEENAGER. I HAD A BETTER FULL HEAD OF HAIR
LIFE WAS JUST GREAT. THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU A MUSICIAN >> I WOULDN'T SAY A MUSICIAN I JUST, YOU KNOW, FIDDLE AROUND
AND WIFE LAUGHS. >> Jimmy: YOU PLAY GUITAR? >> A LITTLE BIT, A LITTLE BIT.
>> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THE ROOTS? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU CAN PLAY SOMETHING >> Steve: WHAT >> ARE YOU FOR REAL?
>> Jimmy: YEAH YOU CAN COME ON DOWN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NICE TO MEET YOU THANKS FOR BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU
NICE BEARD >> Jimmy: HE SAID NICE BEARD YEAH, I APPRECIATE THAT.
DO YOU WANT US TO WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOU, OR DO YOU WANT TO PLAY SOMETHING YOU KNOW?
>> YOU GUYS -- WHATEVER, MAN >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY
WHAT DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY >> "THREE BLIND MICE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WOW. * * GUY HOPE YOUR AREN'T NERVOU
LET ME THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE HE SAW TYREESE *
* AT THE CIRCUS IT WAS AWESOME THE IN THE '90s WHERE TO M
IF I COULD GO BACK * * BECAUSE IT'S JUST AWESOME AND BECAUSE IT'S
HE'S A MUSIC MAN IT'S ME HI I'M THE ONE IN THE ARMY *
* IT'S ME H I'M THE ONE IN THE ARM GET IT, MAN *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NICE JOB NO BAD
>> Tariq: GET IT MAN * >> Jimmy: STANDING OVATION
RIGHT THERE. YOU'RE GETTING A STANDING OVATION, RIGHT THERE, BUD.
MY THANKS TO ALL OUR AUDIENCE. MY THANKS TO THE ROOTS ADRIAN, EVERY MEMBER FROM ALL
BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE HAPPY VETERANS DAY
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SYLVESTOR STALLONE, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU GIVE ME A TIP ON HOW I COULD TAKE A FAKE PUNCH?
>> YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO THIS >> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, I MEAN - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> RIGHT
ACTOR AND WRITER HE STARS IN THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED NEW SHOW, "TULSA
KING," WHICH PREMIERES ON PARAMOUNT PLUS THIS SUNDAY PLEASE WELCOME,
SYLVESTER STALLONE
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LOOKING GOOD, BUDDY. LOOKING GREAT.
THAT'S A STAR, RIGHT THERE THAT'S A STAR. COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELCOME. >> WOW
HEY, GUYS. GOOD TO BE BACK. >> Jimmy: YEAH
WELCOME BACK IT'S AN AUDIENCE FULL OF VETERANS AND SERVICE MEN AND
WOMEN. >> I KNOW. THANK YOU, GUYS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU ARE RAMBO. YOU ARE RAMBO.
>> YEAH, I'M PRETEND THEY'RE THE REAL THING, SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH I'M SURE, AS BEING RAMBO, I'M
SURE A LOT OF VETERANS HAVE COME TO YOU THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.
>> YEAH, THEY HAVE THEY SAID, LIKE, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING."
[ LAUGHTER ] "YOU CANNOT TAKE ON HALF THE WORLD WITH A KNIFE
IT JUST DOESN'T WORK." OR, "YOU CANNOT TAKE A GUN THAT USUALLY IS MOUNTED ON
A HELICOPTER, HOLD IT WITH ONE ARM, WRAP BULLETS AROUND YOUR NECK AND JUST RUN THROUGH THE
WOODS NAKED AND ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "TULSA KING," BUT BEFORE I DO THAT --
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: -- YOU BROKE THE INTERNET A COUPLE WEEKS AGO BY
POSTING THIS PHOTO [ LAUGHTER ] YOU AND ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
CARVING PUMPKINS TOGETHER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD.
>> Jimmy: IS THIS SOMETHING YOU DO >> WELL, USUALLY, WE MAKE
POTHOLDERS, BUT THIS A, YOU KNOW - [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE BIT OLDER NO, HE -- I'M DOING A REALITY
SHOW AND I GAVE HIM A CALL, I SAID, "YEAH, CAN I COME OVER?"
HE GOES, "YEAH, COME ON OVER I'LL BRING MY DONKEY YOU CAN PET IT."
>> Jimmy: "COME OVER AND PET MY DONKEY." >> PET MY DONKEY, STROKE MY
HORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] I COME OVER, AND THERE ARE
THESE FUZZY THINGS IN HIS OFFICE A DONKEY AND A PONY.
IN THE OFFICE. I MEAN, NOT LIKE, OKAY WITH DIAPERS, JUST WALKING AROUND
I GO, "WHEN IS IT GOING TO TAKE A DUMP I MEAN -
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE >> WHO HAS -- WHAT SECRETARY
SIGNS UP FOR THAT? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO, ANYWAY, AFTER WE DO OUR
LITTLE TALKING, HE GOES, "YOU WANT TO CARVE A PUMPKIN? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "YOU WANT TO CARVE A A PUMPKIN? >> I'M TELLING YOU
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW, YEAH >> AND HE GOES, LIKE, "PUMPKIN!"
AND THEN PUMPKINS APPEAR THEN HE'S LIKE, "KNIVES! AND SOME GUY BRINGS IN KNIVES.
I MEAN, IT'S UNBELIEVABLY CHOREOGRAPHED. THIS GUY'S THE REAL DEAL
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, THESE ARE CRAZY. THESE AREN'T LIKE PUMPKIN
CARVING KNIVES THESE ARE LIKE - >> NO.
WHEN I SAW THIS KNIFE, I GO, "IT'S HOME TEAM. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> SO, WE HAD A PUMPKIN CARVING CONTEST. AND I'M GLAD TO SAY THAT I WENT
DOWN, GOT THE HEAD OFF, BOTH EYES AND NOSE, THE MOUTH, BEFORE HE GOT ONE EYE BALL
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONGRATS ON "TULSA KING. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE GETTING RAVE REVIEWS ON THIS ALREADY. I THINK IT'S PERFECT FOR YOU
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER
>> WELL, IT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE IT'S -- IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND A NEW CONCEPT.
BUT THIS IS THE GUY WHO TAKES A FALL FOR SOMEONE, WHO GOES TO JAIL FOR 25 YEARS.
KEEPS HIS MOUTH SHUT, EXPECTED TO BE REWARDED BY HIS MAFIA FAMILY
INSTEAD, HE'S SHIPPED OUT TO TULSA BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET RID OF HIM, BASICALLY TO DROP
DEAD AND DIE AND I DO GO RAMBO A COUPLE TIMES.
SO, HE DOES -- HE DOES -- I MEAN - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DO -- IT IS -- IN THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF WHAT I SAW, I THINK
YOU KNOCKED OUT, LIKE, FIVE GUYS >> YES
>> Jimmy: YEAH BUT IT IS VERY FUNNY, BY THE WAY.
>> BUT THEY DESERVED IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH OF COURSE.
OF COURSE, THEY DESERVED IT, YEAH I SAW YOU SHOWED DEMI LOVATO
HOW TO DO AN ON-SCREEN FIGHT SCENE. >> OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING. WATCH THIS
HERE IT COMES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DEMI -- DEMI LOVATO.
>> NOW, YOU DON'T, FOR A A SECOND, THINK THAT'S REAL. THAT WAS AN ART FORM
THAT SHOWS YOU HOW YOU CAN ACTUALLY CHOREOGRAPH AND FAKE A PUNCH.
BUT IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF PRACTICE, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE GOT IT.
[ AUDIENCE OOHS I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW
I THINK DEMI COULD TAKE YOU OUT. THAT'S -- I'M JUST SAYING.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE A PU -- A FAKE PUNCH? >> I DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE
A FAKE PUNCH >> Jimmy: "YOU WANT TO CARVE MY PUMPKIN?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" >> YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T TAKE MY PUNCH -- YOU CAN'T TAKE MY FAKE
PUNCH. HOW'S THAT >> Jimmy: CAN YOU GIVE ME A TIP
ON HOW I COULD TAKE A FAKE PUNCH? >> YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO
THIS >> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE -- YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> YOU TELL ME WHERE TO STAND. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO I DO
I'M GETTING NERVOUS. >> I'M SERIOUS >> Jimmy: THIS IS MAKING ME SO
NERVOUS. >> NO, NO, NO. SERIOUSLY.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, FIRST OF ALL, YOU'VE GOT TO PUT A LITTLE WATER IN YOUR
MOUTH. BECAUSE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS, I'M GOING TO LAY IT ON YOU
IF YOU GET CLOSE, I WILL BREAK YOUR JAW I MEAN, I'M JUST TELLING YOU
RIGHT NOW. I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU I LIKE YOU
YOU'RE TALL, GOOD LOOKING. BUT YOU'RE - >> Jimmy: STOP, STOP, STOP,
STOP OW, OW, OW >> THIS IS WHAT I SAID TO
De NIRO, WE WERE DOING "GRUDGE MATCH" TOGETHER. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
>> I GO, "THOSE DAMN OSCARS AIN'T GONNA SAVE YOU IN HERE." [ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, SO - >> Jimmy: A SIP OF THE WATER >> PUT A LITTLE WATER IN THERE
>> Jimmy: OKAY >> AND THEN I'M GOING TO THROW --
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH LIKE, WHAM A LEFT, AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO
A SPIN AND SPIT THE WATER OUT, AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE REALLY IN TROUBLE.
>> Jimmy: OKAY I'M SO SCARED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> READY >> Jimmy: THAT WAS GOOD? >> THAT WAS GOOD
>> Jimmy: SLOW MOTION. CAN WE SEE IT? LOOK AT THIS
[ LAUGHTER ] I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HE'S SYLVESTER STALLONE IN
"TULSA KING. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SLIGHT
MISUNDERSTANDING YOU SEE, MY ASSOCIATE WAS IN EARLIER TRYING TO BUY THAT
NAVIGATOR THAT YOU'VE GOT DOWNSTAIRS BUT YOU WOULDN'T SELL IT TO
HIM. >> OH, BOY, I'M SO SORRY >> WHY, DONNY?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WAS A TOTAL MISUNDERSTANDING, LIKE YOU SAID YOURSELF.
>> THE TRUTH IS, HE'S A GOOD KID. PROBABLY NEVER HAD A DAY OF
TROUBLE IN HIS LIFE. SEE, THE PROBLEM IS, YOU SEE A A YOUNG BLACK GUY WITH A
A MOUNTAIN OF MONEY, AND RIGHT AWAY YOU SAY, "HEY, HE'S GOT TO BE A DRUG DEALER."
BUT I WALK IN IN A NICE SUIT, AND YOU'RE NOT AFRAID ANYMORE. SEE, THE IRONY IS, HE'S AFRAID
OF THE WRONG THING >> I'M NOT FOLLOWING >> WELL, FOLLOW THIS
>> Jimmy: YEAH EXACTLY RIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SYLVESTER STALLONE, EVERYBODY! "TULSA KING" PREMIERES SUNDAY, EXCLUSIVELY ON PARAMOUNT PLUS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LINDA CARDELLINI STICK AROUND
DO ONE MORE? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS WHO STARS IN "DEAD TO ME," WHICH
RETURNS FOR ITS THIRD AND FINAL SEASON NOVEMBER 17th ON NETFLIX.
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME, LINDA CARDELLINI
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WELCOME! >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: SO HAPPY YOU'RE ON
THE SHOW >> ME TOO. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WHAT A SPECIAL NIGHT MY GOD THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME HERE
TONIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, PLEASE >> THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR
SERVICE. THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: PRETTY COOL, RIGHT >> YEAH, AMAZING >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, WE WERE
TALKING BACKSTAGE. AND I DIDN'T REALIZE OUR PATHS CROSSED BEFORE -
>> YES >> Jimmy: -- AS WE WERE STRUGGLING
>> YES, BEFORE WE WERE, WELL, WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH, IT WAS PROBABLY IN THE LATE '90s, AND I SAW YOU AT THE IMPROV, BECAUSE ONE OF MY BEST
FRIENDS WAS A STAND-UP ELIZABETH BECKWITH >> Jimmy: REALLY
>> AND WE WENT TO -- YEAH, WE WENT TO THE IMPROV, AND YOU -- I REMEMBER YOU WERE PLAYING
GUITAR TO A TROLL DOLL >> Jimmy: YES. EVERYONE STARTS --
>> AND I WAS LIKE, "THAT GUY IS GOING SOMEWHERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "HE'S ONTO SOMETHING. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: "I HOPE HE GETS OUT OF HERE. THAT POOR KID.
YEAH, OH, MY GOD >> NO, YOU WERE GREAT. >> Jimmy: OH, PLEASE
YOU WERE BORN AND RAISED IN CALIFORNIA >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE COMING TO NEW YORK >> I LOVE IT
I REALLY DO. >> Jimmy: IT'S GOOD ENERGY HERE, RIGHT?
>> IT'S SO EXCITING. IT REALLY IS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YOU GET TO COME OFTEN? >> YOU KNOW, THE LAST TIME I
WAS HERE WAS FOR MY BIRTHDAY IN 2019, AND I GOT TO DO -- THIS MAY BE MY FAVORITE MEMORY OF
ALL TIME BUT I GOT TO -- MY GOOD FRIEND, REGINA SPEKTOR, WAS DOING
A RESIDENCY ON BROADWAY, AND SHE INVITED ME TO COME UP AND SING WITH HER ON MY BIRTHDAY
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> SO, I GOT TO BE ON BROADWAY, WHICH IS, LIKE, ONE OF MY
ALL-TIME DREAMS. >> Jimmy: DID YOU GET NERVOUS. >> OH, I WAS TERRIFIED, OF
COURSE I MEAN, I ALWAYS GET A LITTLE NERVOUS.
LIKE, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS NOW >> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT YOU HAD TO GET ON STAGE
>> YES, IT WAS AMAZING THOUGH. AND EVERYBODY SANG "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO ME.
THE WHOLE AUDIENCE SANG "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO ME. >> Jimmy: WHAT
>> MY PARENTS WERE IN THE AUDIENCE YOU KNOW, MY DAUGHTER, HER
FATHER, HIS PARENTS, REGINA'S PARENTS. >> Jimmy: OH, SO IT WAS
A FAMILY AFFAIR. EVERYBODY'S PARENTS WERE THERE YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST, LIKE,
THE MOST INCREDIBLE BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER. >> Jimmy: I ACTUALLY GOT A
A PICTURE OF YOUR FIRST VISIT TO NEW YORK CITY IS THAT POSSIBLE
>> OH, YES THAT IS. THAT, YES, THAT IS IT.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO NEW YORK. THIS IS --
>> HOW COOL IS THIS FOR YOUR FIRST VISIT EVER GOING TO NEW YORK
>> Jimmy: I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THIS IS. THIS IS THE HALLWAY AT
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," AND YOU'RE WITH MOLLY SHANNON AND WILL FERRELL
>> YEAH. YEAH >> Jimmy: THERE'S WILL AND
MOLLY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THE BEST.
LIKE, HOW LUCKY? >> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU END UP HERE
>> OKAY, SO, I HAD NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK BEFORE, AND I WAS A THEATER STUDENT.
AND I WAS GOING, YOU KNOW, IN THE -- YOU KNOW, IN LOS ANGELES.
AND ONE OF OUR TEACHERS -- YOU KNOW, I WAS COMING WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS, JASON, IN THE
PICTURE. AND MY TEACHER KNEW SOMEBODY WHO WORKED BACKSTAGE IN THE
WARDROBE DEPARTMENT. AND SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO SAY, "I'LL GIVE YOU A TOUR.
AND YOU GUYS CAN STAY FOR REHEARSAL. AND WE WERE SO EXCITED
BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE, WE ALSO HAD TICKETS TO OUR FIRST BROADWAY SHOW, AND WE HAD SPENT
ALL OF OUR HARD-EARNED COLLEGE MONEY ON THESE TICKETS SO, WE COULDN'T STAY FOR THE
ACTUAL REHEARSAL, BUT WE GOT TO BE THERE AND MEET EVERYBODY. >> Jimmy: YOU LEFT "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE" TO GO SEE -- >> OKAY, WAIT A SECOND I LEFT "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" TO
GO SEE "CATS." >> Jimmy: "CATS. [ LAUGHTER ]
"CATS," WOW. >> I MEAN, WE HAD FUN. >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT TO GO
EVERYONE'S GOTTA SEE "CATS" AS WELL >> BUT, YEAH, NO, PROBABLY ONE
OF THE DUMBEST THINGS I'VE DONE >> Jimmy: IT'S MOLLY AND WILL.
>> THEY WERE JUST CROSSING AND GOING -- WE WERE ALL EATING. I GOT TO EAT WITH EVERYBODY.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS JUST LIKE TINS WITH SPOONS AND -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE ARMY.
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WE HAVE CATERING [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, SO, I GOT TO EAT CATERING WITH EVERYBODY. AND IT WAS, LIKE, JOHN GOODMAN
WAS THERE. BUT THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO REALLY STOPPED AND TOOK A PICTURE WAS
WILL AND MOLLY I MEAN, THEY MADE A POINT OF IT
IT WAS SO NICE OF THEM AND THEN, WHO WOULD GUESS, YEARS LATER I WOULD PLAY HIS
WIFE - >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT >> -- TWICE IN, YOU KNOW, TWO
MOVIES AND THEN HE PRODUCES OUR SHOW. HE PRODUCES "DEAD TO ME.
>> Jimmy: AND CHRISTINA -- >> CHRISTINA IS ALSO HIS WIFE. HE HAS TWO WIVES >> Jimmy:
THAT'S HILARIOUS HOW'S CHRISTINA? HOW'S SHE DOING?
>> SHE'S GOOD. SHE SAYS, "HELLO." >> Jimmy: GIVE HER MY BEST
>> SHE SAID TO SEND HER LOVE YES. >> Jimmy: I LOVE HER
"DEAD TO ME --" >> SHE'S WATCHING HI, CHRISTINA.
WE LOVE YOU. >> Jimmy: HI, CHRISTINA. WE DO LOVE YOU
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE IS SO FUNNY. >> SHE'S THE BEST.
SHE'S SO GOOD. >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU WORKED WITH EACH OTHER BEFORE?
>> NO, WE DIDN'T KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL AND, YOU KNOW, EVERYONE WAS
LIKE, "OH, YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE EACH OTHER." AND YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT WE JUST LOVED EACH OTHER
INSTANTLY. >> Jimmy: YOU HIT IT OFF >> AND WE WERE GREAT FRIENDS
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN TELL YOU HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY ON THE SHOW. >> OH, THANK YOU
HOW DO WE SET UP THE SHOW WITHOUT GIVING AWAY TOO MUCH >> WELL, THAT'S NEARLY
IMPOSSIBLE BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S THE LAST SEASON, SO JEN AND JUDY, IF YOU
KNOW THE SHOW AT ALL, WE ARE ALWAYS KIND OF IN TROUBLE AND DOING SOMETHING WE SHOULDN'T BE
DOING. AND THE FBI IS FOLLOWING US A BIT.
AND, SO, WE'RE ON THIS WILD RIDE THIS SEASON, SORT OF FINISHING UP THE ERIES.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THERE'S A LOT OF TWISTS. >> THERE'S LOTS OF TURNS AND
TWISTS >> Jimmy: YEAH GET READY FOR --
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S LINDA CARDELLINI IN "DEAD TO ME.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
ABOUT IT >> WHICH PART?
>> THAT STEVE'S BEEN FOUND >> OH. YEAH
RIGHT. >> I MEAN, IS IT TERRIFYING? >> YEAH.
>> HAVE I BEEN HAVING LOW-GRADE DIARRHEA ABOUT IT? SURE, I HAVE
>> YOU HAVE? >> YEAH. IT'S NERVOUS POOPS
BUT, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND IT MIGHT NOT BE THE WORST THING
THAT COULD HAPPEN. >> THAT'S TRUE >> OKAY, WHEN WE WERE AT THE
HOSPITAL, I KEPT HAVING THIS FEELING LIKE ANOTHER SHOE WAS GOING TO DROP.
ALTHOUGH, I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY IT'S A SHOE, OR WHY IT'S DROPPING
I MEAN, MAYBE THAT'S A REGIONAL THING. ANYWAY, I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE
THE SHOE >> WAIT, ME? HOW AM I THE SHOE?
>> WELL, BECAUSE OF YOUR INJURIES AND STUFF AND YOU WERE THE ONLY OTHER
SHOE THAT I HAD AT THE TIME. >> OKAY. >> BUT THEN WHEN BEN TOLD ME
ABOUT STEVE, I WAS LIKE, "OH, THERE IT IS. >> SO STEVE'S THE SHOE
>> RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LINDA CARDELLINI,
EVERYBODY. SEASON THREE OF "DEAD TO ME" PREMIERES NOVEMBER 17th ON
NETFLIX. LOUIS TOMLINSON PERFORMS FOR US NEXT
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: PERFORMING "SILVER TONGUES" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "FAITH IN THE FUTURE," PLEASE
WELCOME, LOUIS TOMLINSON [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ON THE EMBER WAV
GOING DEEP FOR THE ONE WHO DO THE SAME * * AIR MAX'S
AND SILVER TONGUES SETTLE I FOR ANOTHER HEAVY ONE *
* YOU SAID LOVE WAS A PRETTY LIE I CHOKED WHEN YOUR SMOKE
GOT IN MY EYE * * BAD LOGIC AND EMPTY CAN I KNOW NOBODY UNDERSTAND
ME LIKE YOU DO * * YOU KNOW IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE
WE'RE SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE WE'LL REMEMBER
THOSE STUPID JOKES ONLY WE KNOW * * YOU KNOW WHEN I'M WITH YO
I'M SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE WE'LL REMEMBER
THOSE SONGS WE WROTE ONLY WE KNOW * * YOU SMILE AT ME
AND SAY IT'S TIME TO G BUT I DON'T FEEL LIK GOING HOME *
* * YOU SAID GRAS WAS A DIRTY DRUG
YOU LIKE TO PREACH WITH A VODKA IN YOUR MUG * * I LOV
ALL THE THINGS YOU KNO I'M KING ON A 50 METRE ROAD *
* WE STAND UP TAL AND BEAT OUR CHEST SHOUT SOME THING
THAT WE'LL REGRET * * SIT DOW WITH A MASTER PLAN
I KNOW NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME LIKE YOU DO * * IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE
WE'RE SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE WE'LL REMEMBER
THOSE STUPID JOKES ONLY WE KNOW * * YOU KNOW WHEN I'M WITH YO
I'M SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE WE'LL REMEMBER
THOSE SONGS WE WROTE ONLY WE KNOW * * YOU SMILE AT ME
AND SAY IT'S TIME TO G BUT I DON'T FEEL LIK GOING HOME *
* * * YOU AND ME UNTIL THE EN
WAKING UP TO START AGAIN YOU AND ME UNTIL THE END WAKING UP TO START AGAIN *
* THERE'S NOWHERE ELS THAT I WOULD RATHER BE * * BECAUSE
IT'S TIMES LIKE THES WE'RE SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE
WE'LL REMEMBER THOSE STUPID JOKES ONLY WE KNOW *
* WHEN I'M WITH YOU I'M SO MUCH HAPPIER * * NIGHTS LIKE THESE
WE'LL REMEMBER THOSE SONGS WE WROTE ONLY WE KNOW *
* YOU SMILE AT ME AND SAY IT'S TIME TO G BUT I DON'T FEEL LIK
GOING HOME * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, RIGHT THERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT LOUIS TOMLINSON.
TICKETS FOR HIS TOUR ARE ON SALE NOW WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
SYLVESTER STALLONE, LINDA CARDELLINI, LOUIS TOMLINSON, ONCE AGAIN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSILVANIA
THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL TO ALL THE VETERANS HERE TONIGHT AND VETERANS EVERYWHERE WATCHING
EVERYWHERE AND THE FAMILIES. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BUH-BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE