>>> YOU LOVE TAKING YOUR LITTLE ONE'S TO THE MACY'S
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE. >> PICK ME UP. PICK ME UP
>> AND THEY LOVE WATCHING THE PARADE FROM YOUR SHOULDERS BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THEY'RE UP THERE FOR A THREE-HOUR PARADE. >> DADDY, I HAVE TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM >> Jimmy: I'M KIND OF STUCK. CAN YOU HOLD IT, PAL
>> ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. >> Jimmy: COME ON, ARE YOU KIDDING ME
>> SO, FOR THIS YEAR'S PARADE, PATAGONIA AND PAMPERS TEAMED UP TO CREATE THE ALL NEW
PEETAGONIA THE FIRST JACKET WITH A BUILT-IN NECK DIAPER TO KEEP
YOU DRY WHEN THE KID ON YOUR SHOULDERS TREATS YOU LIKE A HUMAN URINAL
>> DADDY, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM >> Jimmy: GO RIGHT AHEAD
I'M WEARING MY PEETAGONIA. * LET IT FLOW LET IT FLO
LET IT FLOW * >> YOU'LL STAY COMPLETELY DRY. >> Jimmy: AND WARM TOO
>> OH, HELL NO COME ON. >> PEETAGONIA.
LET IT RAIN ON YOUR PARADE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JESSE EISENBERG.
MADELYN CLINE. CHEF JACQUES PEPIN AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1-7-5-2. >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS!
YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FEELS SO GOOD.
MWAH, MWAH ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY
ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY!
EVERYONE'S IN A GOOD MOOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE EVERYONE'S IN A GOOD MOOD.
YOU GUYS, TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE RIGHT NOW, SOME OF YOU ARE EXCITED TO SEE YOUR FAMILY,
WHILE THE REST OF YOU ARE ABOUT TO DRAW AN EXTRA LINE ON A A COVID TEST
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE LIKE, "AW." [ LAUGHTER ]
A BIT OF HISTORY I READ THAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN DECLARED THANKSGIVING AN
OFFICIAL HOLIDAY IN 1863 IT'S LIKE DURING THE CIVIL WAR, HE SAW OUR COUNTRY FIGHTING
EACH OTHER AND THOUGHT, WE SHOULD MAKE A WHOLE MEAL OUT OF THIS
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THANKSGIVING IS ALMOST HERE AND NOBODY IS MORE
IN THE SPIRIT THAN LOCAL NEWS ANCHORS. LET'S SEE HOW THEY'RE
CELEBRATING.
>> GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE. >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE.
>> GOBBLE, GOBBLE. >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE. >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE.
>> GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE. >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE. >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE,
GOBBLE HUH, HUH >> DID YOU PURPOSELY WEAR
TURKEY COLORS TODAY? >> YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE A BIG OL' BUTTER BALL.
>> THANKS. THANKS A LOT, ABBY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: THEN DURING COMMERCIAL SHE TRIED PULLING
ABBY'S ARM OFF LIKE A WISHBONE IT'S LIKE, "HEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I LOOK LIKE
A BUTTERBALL?" TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING, BUT TONIGHT IS DRINKS-GIVING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHY AM I TELLING YOU GUYS? I FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW THIS
ALREADY. DRINKS-GIVING, THAT'S WHEN A A LOT OF PEOPLE HIT UP THEIR
HOMETOWN BARS TO SEE OLD FRIENDS. IT'S A GREAT TRADITION
YOU TALK SMACK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY TO YOUR FRIENDS, AND THEN TOMORROW YOU TALK SMACK
ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS TO YOUR FAMILY [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S A GOOD TIME IT'S BASICALLY AN ENTIRE BAR FILLED WITH PEOPLE SAYING,
"TIM'S LOOKING LIKE A BIG, OLD BUTTERBALL." [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST DRINKING NIGHTS OF THE YEAR, WHICH IS WHY TOMORROW
MORNING PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE LIKE, "I'M MOST THANKFUL FOR THIS BACON, EGG, AND CHEESE AND
GATORADE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LOVE IT.
TONIGHT, A LOT OF PEOPLE WENT TO THEIR HOMETOWN BAR WITH OLD FRIENDS.
BUT IF YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO GO OUT, DON'T WORRY WE PUT TOGETHER A SIMULATION OF
HOW YOUR CONVERSATION WOULD HAVE GONE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> NO WAY! WHAT'S UP, BRO >> HOW YOU BEEN, BRO
>> GOOD, GOOD. IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU, BRO. >> YEAH, BRO, YOU TOO.
>> YOU GOOD? >> YEAH, YEAH. I'M GOOD, BRO.
YEAH >> COOL. >> COOL.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SHOTS OF FIREBALL >> [ BLEEP ] YES, BRO.
YES, BRO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: GET IT, GET IT BRO
LET'S GET AT IT, BRO GET IT, BRO. GUYS, I'M SO PUMPED IT'S
THANKSGIVING EVE JUST THINK, IN 12 HOURS YOUR AUNT'S GOING TO PULL A TURKEY
OUT OF THE OVEN THAT ISN'T PLANT BASED BUT IT'S DEFINITELY BEYOND MEAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, SPEAKING OF FOOD,
OCEAN SPRAY SAYS THEY FLIP THE LABELS ON THEIR CRANBERRY SAUCE CANS UPSIDE-DOWN TO CREATE A
A "SEAMLESS SERVING EXPERIENCE." [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE DUMPING A BRICK OF MAROON SLIME OUT OF A CAN, YOU'RE REALLY PLAYING
FAST AND LOOSE WITH THE PHRASE "SERVING EXPERIENCE. [ LAUGHTER ]
SERIOUSLY, I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE SOUND IT MAKES WHEN IT COMES OUT.
EWW. [ SLURP SOUND YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY ARE GETTING READY
FOR TOMORROW QUEST, YOU ALL PREPPED FOR THANKSGIVING
>> Questlove: YEAH, MAN. I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED AT THE GROCERY STORE.
I JUST LANDED ON A SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE RECIPE I'M GOING TO MAKE
THAT'S IT. HOW ABOUT YOU? >> Jimmy: I'M READY TOO.
WE'RE HAVING FAMILY OVER SO, I RENTED SOME TABLES I'VE GOT MY THANKSGIVING
PLAYLIST READY TO GO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, HIGGINS?
>> Steve: OH, MAN, I'M SO READY FOR THANKSGIVING BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE THIS
MORNING, I CRANKED UP THE OVEN AT 600 DEGREES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HIGGINS, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOUR OVEN ON WHEN YOU'RE NOT HOME
>> Steve: RELAX, IT'S FINE MY OVEN TAKES A LITTLE WHILE TO HEAT UP BECAUSE THE GAS LINE
HAS A HOLE IN IT [ LAUGHTER ] IT STINKS UP THE KITCHEN SO
BAD, I LEFT A BUNCH OF AEROSOL CANS RIGHT NEXT TO THE OVEN. AND WHEN I GET HOME, I'M GOING
TO SPRAY THEM DOWN AND FRESHEN UP THE PLACE >> Jimmy: NO -
>> Steve: I KNOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY WORRIED THAT THE TURKEY WON'T FULLY COOKED
BECAUSE THE BUSTED GAS LINE. WE GOT A BACKUP BIRD WRAPPED IT IN FOIL
POPPED IT IN THE MICROWAVE SET IT FOR NINE HOURS. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND GET THIS WE'RE GOING TO DEEP FRY THAT SUCKER
[ LAUGHTER ] GOT A GREAT DEAL FOUND 18 LEAKY PROPANE TANKS ON
THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY. MAN, IT IS GOING TO BE A GOOD THANKSGIVING
[ DING ] >> Steve: OH OH, NO
[ EXPLOSION [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE BLEW UP.
[ LAUGHTER ] I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BEEN COOKING AT MY HOUSE.
SO NO, I'M NOT READY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE? HEY, THIS IS FUN TOMORROW IS THE MACY'S
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE ROOTS AND I WILL BE THERE
PERFORMING BUT IF YOU LOVE PARADES, MACY'S ISN'T THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN.
WATCH THIS
BALLOONS THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE?
THEN TUNE IN TO THE T.J. MAXX THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE. THE ONLY PARADE WITH OLD OUT OF
FASHIONED BALLOONS THAT MACY'S THREW AWAY YEARS AGO LIKE ASK JEEVES, THE PETS.COM
DOG, WEIRD OLD GUY SUPERMAN, AND WHATEVER THE HELL THIS IS. T.J. MAXX, WHERE EVERY DAY
LOOKS LIKE THE DAY AFTER BLACK FRIDAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WELL, WITH THANKSGIVING DAY SO CLOSE, I THINK IT'S TIME TO READ THAT
CLASSIC STORY WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING, AND, OH,
WHAT A NIGHT NOT A CREATURE WAS SOBER, CHUGGING MILLER HIGH LIFE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE DIVE BARS WERE PACKED, EVERYONE PLAYING POOL, IN THE
HOPES THEY'D HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE FROM HIGH SCHOOL [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, THERE AROSE SUCH A TITTER. OH, NO, ELON MUSK POSTED
ANOTHER WEIRD MEME TO TWITTER. [ LAUGHTER ] I ROLLED BOTH MY EYES AND
TURNED OFF MY PHONE, THEN WENT TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE TO WATCH "YELLOWSTONE."
[ LAUGHTER ] ON JOHN DUTTON, ON BETH DUTTON, ON TEETER AND KAYCE, ON
RIP WHEELER, ON CHIEF RAINWATER, EVERYONE EXCEPT JAMIE
[ LAUGHTER ] THEN I SPRANG TO MY CHILDHOOD BEDROOM TO CRASH, BUT MY COUSIN
WAS IN THERE SMOKING HIS STASH [ LAUGHTER ] TOMORROW, I THOUGHT, MY WHOLE
FAMILY WILL FIGHT. BUT HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL, EXCEPT MY UNCLE STEVE, WHO I
HOPE MISSES HIS FLIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, THIS IS GOING VIRAL.
A PHOTO THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN POSTED ON TWITTER. DID YOU SEE THIS, QUEST?
>> Questlove: NO >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOING LAUGH IT HAS AN OPTICAL ILLUSION THAT
MAKES HIS JACKET LOOK LIKE HIS LEGS LOOK AT THIS PHOTO
[ LAUGHTER ] PEOPLE WALKED INTO THE OFFICE LIKE, "WHOA, I'LL COME BACK.
I -- CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN? DO WE HAVE THE FOOTAGE
HE LOOKS LIKE A TEACHER WHO WOULD SAY, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL ME MR. DUNCAN, CALL ME
MATT [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, WHAT
FORGET TODAY'S LESSON, LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT LIFE." YEAH, IT'S THE BEST BIDEN
OPTICAL ILLUSION SINCE HE AND JILL LOOKED LIKE GIANTS NEXT TO THE CARTERS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE REMEMBER THAT? [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: THAT WAS THE BEST. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS INSANE. DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
LAST NIGHT AHEAD OF THE SENATE RUNOFF IN GEORGIA, HERSCHEL WALKER WAS ON FOX
NEWS, AND HE HAD A BIT OF A SLIP UP WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE ELECTION
LISTEN TO THIS
>> FIRST OF ALL, THIS ELECTION IS MORE THAN HERSCHEL WALKER
THIS ERECTION IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: OH [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: SOMEBODY'S EXCITED
ABOUT THE RUNOFFS. [ LAUGHTER ] SWITCHING GEARS, ELON MUSK
REPORTEDLY TOLD TWITTER EMPLOYEES THAT HE'S DONE LAYING PEOPLE OFF, AND IS NOW LOOKING
TO START HIRING. ELON KNEW HE NEEDED MORE PEOPLE WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND THE
TWITTER OFFICE AND SAW FEWER THAN 280 CHARACTERS. [ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, THIS SATURDAY IS SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY, AND I HEARD THAT TO ATTRACT YOUNGER
CUSTOMERS, SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS ARE BEING ENCOURAGED TO UP THEIR TIKTOK GAME
YEAH, THAT'S GOT TO BE TOUGH AFTER 50 YEARS OF OWNING A A HARDWARE STORE, MOM AND POP
GOTTA STAY IN BUSINESS BY SLAPPING EACH OTHER WITH TORTILLAS.
[ LAUGHTER ] "WE WERE THE GREATEST GENERATION."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, A MALL IN CANADA HAS AN ATTRACTION CALLED WOODY
THE CHRISTMAS TREE [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE JUST WOKE UP.
CHECK THIS OUT
[ CHEERS ] [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND THAT'S THE FIRST PROMO FOR "A VERY SQUIDGAME CHRISTMAS.
[ LAUGHTER ] COINCIDENTALLY, WAKE UP WOODY IS ALSO HERSCHEL WALKER'S NEW
CAMPAIGN SLOGAN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT
JESSE EISENBERG IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FROM "GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT
MYSTERY," MADELYN CLINE IS ON THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND JAMES BEARD AWARD-WINNING CHEF JACQUES PEPIN IS HERE GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW,"
EVERYBODY. I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
WE HAVE A BIG DAY TOMORROW IN THE MORNING, THE ROOTS AND I WILL BE IN THE MACY'S
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE ARE ON THE CENTRAL PARK
FLOAT, AND I'LL BE PERFORMING MY NEW SONG I DID WITH DOLLY PARTON "ALMOST TOO EARLY
FOR CHRISTMAS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S A BIG DEAL.
AND THEN TOMORROW NIGHT, WE HAVE AN ALL-NEW SHOW, A GIANT SHOW
JERRY SEINFELD WILL BE OUR GUEST. ADAM DEVINE WILL BE HERE
AND OUR MUSICAL GUEST WILL BE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY HEY, GUYS, A LOT IS HAPPENING
IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW, AND SOMETIMES I FIND THE BEST WAY TO EXPLAIN THE NEWS IS WITH
MUSIC. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. IT'S TIME FOR "NEWS RADIO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* NEWS RADI NEWS RADIO
NEWS RADIO, YEAH * >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, TICKETMASTER HAS APOLOGIZED TO
TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AFTER THE FIASCO OVER HER UPCOMING TOUR
THEY WERE LIKE - * BABY I'M SORRY * >> Jimmy: BUT THE FANS AREN'T
HAVING IT. THEY'RE LIKE - * IT'S TOO LATE
TO APOLOGIZE * >> Jimmy: AND NOW TICKETMASTER IS UNDER INVESTIGATION BECAUSE
THEIR PARENT COMPANY MIGHT BE A -- * MONOPOLY *
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND SINCE THEY'RE THE ONLY COMPETITION, THEY'RE ABLE
TO HIKE PRICES WAY - * UP THEN IT'S UP THEN IT'S UP
THEN IT'S UP * >> Jimmy: SO IN ORDER TO SEE A A CONCERT, YOU HAVE TO PAY -
* 525,600 * >> Jimmy: DOLLARS. WHICH IS WHY EVERYONE IS HOPING
TICKETMASTER GETS IN TROUBLE, BECAUSE FRANKLY -- * IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OF COURSE, ELON MUSK IS IN CHARGE OF TWITTER NOW.
AND LET'S BE HONEST -- * YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THE SAME AS IT WAS *
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE ELON KEEPS TWEETING MEMES IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY 15 MINUTES
THERE'S -- * ANOTHER ONE * >> Jimmy: THEN -
* ANOTHER ONE * >> Jimmy: AND EVERYONE IN HIS COMMENTS ARE LIKE.
* SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP * [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALSO, HE REINSTATED PRESIDENT TRUMPS ACCOUNT, AND WAS LIKE -
* BABY, COME BACK * [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT WHEN ASKED IF HE
WOULD RETURN TO THE SITE, TRUMP SAID - * NO, NO, NO *
>> Jimmy: SOME PEOPLE WANT TRUMP TO TWEET AGAIN THEY'RE LIKE -
* SAY SOMETHING * >> Jimmy: WHILE OTHERS DON'T WANT HIM BACK AT ALL
THEY'RE MORE LIKE -- * I'M GIVING UP ON YOU * >> Jimmy: MEANWHILE, ELON ALSO
REINSTATED KANYE, AND UNLIKE TRUMP, HE WAS LIKE - * I'M COMING BACK
FOR YOU BABY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, NEW YORK
IS SET TO APPROVE 36 MARIJUANA DISPENSARY LICENSES. SO, NOW IT'S EASIER THAN EVER
TO GET - * HIGH * >> Jimmy: BUT REMEMBER IN ORDER
TO BUY WEED, YOU STILL HAVE TO BE OVER -- * 21 *
>> Jimmy: AND IF YOU'RE NOT, THE POLICE WILL RUN INTO THE DISPENSARY LIKE --
* NOBODY MOVE * >> Jimmy: AND YOU'LL THROW YOUR HANDS UP LIKE --
* IT WASN'T ME * >> Jimmy: BUT FOR EVERYONE ELSE, DON'T WORRY.
IT'S LEGAL, SO FEEL FREE TO -- * SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THIS HAS BEEN "NEWS RADIO. STICK AROUND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> I WAS JUST THINKING, MY GOD,
THIS IS LIKE THE COOLEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE." AND I -- I TOLD HER THAT
AND THEN, I WALKED OVER TO MY WIFE, AND I SAID, "HONEY, I THINK I JUST MET MY SOULMATE
I MET THIS AMAZING WOMAN." AND I POINTED TO THE WOMAN WHO I WANTED TO BE MY SOULMATE AND
ANNA, MY WIFE, SHE SAID, "THAT'S CLAIRE DANES, YOU IDIOT.
GOOD LUCK. >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR
"TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO
HASHTAGS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT
A HASHTAG AND WE ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC THIS WEEK, I SENT OUT THE
HASHTAG, "MY FAMILY IS WEIRD." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I ASKED YOU TO TWEET OUT A
A FUNNY, WEIRD, OR EMBARRASSING THING A FAMILY MEMBER HAS DONE OR SAID.
WITHIN MINUTES -- WITHIN SECONDS -- IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC IN THE U.S
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WONDER WHY THANK YOU ALL FOR PLAYING
ALONG. AND NOW I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE "MY FAMILY
IS WEIRD" TWEETS FROM YOU GUYS AND THERE'S SOME WEIRD FAMILIES OUT THERE.
IT'S AWESOME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM
@COVEYDENTON SHE SAYS, "MY MOM USED TO WAKE US UP THANKSGIVING MORNING BY
HOLDING THE RAW TURKEY BY THE ARMPITS, MAKING GOBBLE NOISES, AND CHASING US INTO THE
KITCHEN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S ONE WAY TO WAKE UP THE
KIDS, YEAH THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM @CKGIRL04, SHE SAYS, "WHEN MY
FAMILY SINGS HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WE SING IT THE NORMAL WAY FIRST THEN WE SING IT SAD AND SLOW IN
THE DEEPEST VOICES WE CAN MANAGE EVEN IF WE ARE IN PUBLIC."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEVER HEARD OF THAT. * HAPPY BIRTHDAY *
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S FUN THIS ONE'S FROM
@JURNEESRAINBOW. SHE SAYS, "MY MOM AND THREE AUNTS WOULD DO A SYNCHRONIZED
SWIMMING ROUTINE THEY MADE UP EVERY SUMMER THE KIDS HAD TO GET OUT OF THE
POOL AND WATCH." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GET OUT.
>> Steve: GET OUT OF HERE. >> Jimmy: SOMEBODY'S GOT TO JUDGE.
THIS ONE'S FROM @MPETRICOIN. SHE SAYS, "THE FIRST TIME I MET MY NOT YET MOTHER-IN-LAW, SHE
STIRRED MY DRINK WITH HER FINGER." [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHOA >> Jimmy: IS THIS FOR MY WIFE?
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW I FEEL LIKE MY MOM DID THAT. THIS ONE'S FROM @RJT1605
HE SAYS, "MY FATHER ONCE RAN TO THE BUS STOP ONLY IN HIS UNDERWEAR, CARRYING ME IN HIS
ARMS TO DROP ME OFF ONTO MY SCHOOL BUS I WAS IN THIRD GRADE
I STILL GET GOOSEBUMPS FROM THAT MEMORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I'M SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE IN THERAPY I'M SORRY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE'S FROM @JAKEWILLIAMSART
HE SAYS, "MY BROTHER THINKS POTATOES TASTE BETTER COLD SO, HE PUTS A PLATE OF THEM IN
THE FREEZER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL AND BY THE END HE HAS FROZEN POTATOES FOR DESSERT.
HE CALLS THEM FRO-POS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE POP ME A FRO-PO, MAN
>> Steve: PO-SICLE >> Jimmy: POP ME A FRO-PO, BRO THIS IS ONE IS FROM @OLMUSKY
THEY SAY "ONCE A WEEK, MY FAMILY WOULD EAT AT THE LOCAL DINER.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER FINISHING HIS MEAL, MY DAD WOULD HAND MY MOM HIS WALLET, THEN GO LISTEN TO
THE RADIO IN THE CAR WHILE WE FINISHED." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
DAD NEEDS HIS ME TIME. >> Steve: DAD NEEDS ME TIME. >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@ARSHDHILLONK. SHE SAYS, "MY SISTER USED TO BRAID HER LEG HAIR, THEN RIP IT
OUT AND CALL IT 'DIY WAXING.'" >> Steve: OHH. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
OUCH HOW LONG DID IT HAVE TO GET? >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS --
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE'S FROM @KYLEDICE23. HE SAYS, "MY BOYFRIEND'S DAD
COMPLIMENTS OTHER DRIVERS WHEN THEY THEY FOLLOW THE RULES LIKE, 'BEIGE CAMRY JUST PUT
THEIR TURN SIGNAL ON NICE.' WE CALL IT HIS 'ANTI-ROAD
RAGE.' [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: NICE JOB
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NICE. >> Steve: GOOD TURN! >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@RENEEJORDAN78 SHE SAYS, "MY FAMILY HIDES AN ALMOND IN THE STUFFING
WHOEVER FINDS IT GETS GOOD LUCK FOR THE NEXT YEAR. LAST YEAR, MY BROTHER CHOKED ON
THE ALMOND, SO THIS YEAR WE SWITCHED IT TO A RAISIN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
CHOKED ON IT YOU WIN. YOU WON.
THIS LAST ONE IS FROM @EDDIELOVESTOAST HE SAYS, "THE WHOLE FAM WAS
TOGETHER FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER. MY GRANDMA GOT A BIT TOASTY ON SOME HOLIDAY WINE AND GOT
LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM SHE STARTED FREAKING OUT AND SCREAMING, 'SOMEBODY HELP ME.'
SHE WAS PULLING AND PUSHING, BUT IT WAS A SLIDING DOOR. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS."
TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JESSE EISENBERG, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU STARTED
ACTING AND YOU LANDED WORK IN COMMERCIALS, WHICH A LOT OF CHILD ACTORS GET THEIR START
IN FACT, WE FOUND ONE OF THEM. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. >> TODAY WE'RE MAKING
CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZA.
STARRING IN THE FX LIMITED SERIES, "FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE," WITH NEW EPISODES
RELEASING THURSDAYS ON HULU. PLEASE WELCOME JESSE EISENBERG
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: COME ON, BUD FEEL THE LOVE.
FEEL THE LOVE RIGHT THERE. >> THAT'S SO NICE. >> Jimmy: HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO
YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING ON
THANKSGIVING EXCITING FOR YOU? NOT EXCITING DO YOU HAVE A BIG FAMILY
GATHERING? >> NO, NOT EXCITING. NOT EXCITING, NO
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, NOT EXCITING >> NO, NO.
SO, I COME FROM A FAMILY OF -- OF VEGETARIANS AND VEGANS, AND, UM -
YEAH, YEAH, I MEAN - AND I MEAN, ALL DUE -- YOU KNOW
AND, UM, YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, SO -
>> YEAH, SO, NO, WE DO A, LIKE, A "THANKS-LIVING," WHICH IS, YOU KNOW -
[ LAUGHTER ] WHICH IS, LIKE A PUN WHICH IS NOT FUN IN AND OF
ITSELF BUT ALSO WHEN IT APPLIES TO A VEGAN THANKSGIVING -- >> Jimmy: THANKS-LIVING.
>> THANKS-LIVING, YEAH, SO WE - >> Jimmy: WHAT HAPPENS AT
THANKS-LIVING? >> WE -- WE -- YOU KNOW, WE BUY A TURKEY, WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY
SAVING A TURKEY. AND WE PUT THAT PICTURE OF THE TURKEY, YOU KNOW, ON THE TABLE,
INSTEAD OF TURKEY FOOD, YOU KNOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND IT SAYS LITTLE THINGS LIKE, YOU KNOW, "OH, IT'S BAGEL AND HE LIKES TO RUN AROUND AND --"
YOU KNOW, AND STUFF LIKE THAT. AND SO ANYWAY, THEN WE DON'T EAT TURKEY, BUT WE DO FEEL THE
GUILT OF IT ANYWAY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
YOU SEE -- YOU'RE LOOKING AT BAGEL THE WHOLE EVENING. >> YEAH, EXACTLY
>> Jimmy: AND TALKING ABOUT HOW HE LIKES TO RUN AROUND I THINK YOU'LL HAVE A FUN -- A
A FUN TIME I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE FLEISHMAN.
>> YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT IT'S SMART
IT'S FUNNY IT'S VERY NEW YORK YOU AND CLAIRE DANES -
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHO I LOVE HAVE YOU EVER WORKED WITH
CLAIRE >> NO, NO. I MEAN, IT WAS AMAZING
WE -- I DID MEET HER ONCE. I MET HER PROBABLY, LIKE, 15 YEARS AGO
I -- SHE HAS NO RECOLLECTION OF IT, WHICH IS THE IMPRESSION I NORMALLY MAKE ON PEOPLE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY IN THIS CASE.
>> Jimmy: WHEN DID YOU MEET CLAIRE DANES >> SO, MY WIFE HAD TO GO TO
SOME BENEFIT AND I WAS WITH HER. AND I HAD TO GO WITH HER
AND I JUST GOT REALLY HIGH BECAUSE I -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE BORING AND THEN -
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I-- I GOT, YOU KNOW, I GOT SEPARATED FROM HER THERE
YOU KNOW, AND I WOUND UP TALKING TO THIS WOMAN. AND SHE -- WE HAD GONE TO THE
SAME HIGH SCHOOL, AND SHE SAID SHE WAS AN ACTRESS, AND SHE WENT TO YALE
AND I WAS JUST THINKING, "MY GOD. THIS IS, LIKE, THE COOLEST
PERSON I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE." AND I -- I TOLD HER THAT
AND THEN, I WALKED OVER TO MY WIFE, AND I SAID, "HONEY, I THINK I JUST MET MY SOULMATE
I MET THIS AMAZING WOMAN." [ LAUGHTER ] AND I POINTED TO THE WOMAN WHO
I WANTED TO BE MY SOULMATE AND ANNA, MY WIFE, SHE SAID, "THAT'S CLAIRE DANES, YOU
IDIOT. GOOD LUCK. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WERE YOU -- WERE YOU
MARRIED TO YOUR WIFE >> I WASN'T MARRIED TO HER, BUT THINGS WERE GOING WELL
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE DATING HER AT THE TIME -- >> I WAS DATING HER, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, WE DID A DRY RUN [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NOW YOU'RE HAPPILY
MARRIED. AND ALL THESE YEARS LATER, HERE YOU ARE WORKING WITH
CLAIRE DANES >> YEAH, BUT SHE HAD NO RECOLLECTION OF THE GREATEST
DAY OF MY LIFE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
FOR THIS SERIES YOU TOLD ME BACKSTAGE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING THEY ASKED YOU TO DO,
YOU WERE A LITTLE APPREHENSIVE ABOUT. >> YES, YES.
>> Jimmy: CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT I THINK IT'LL BE GOOD TO TALK ABOUT IT
>> YEAH. I MEAN, I'M APPREHENSIVE ABOUT MOST THINGS.
BUT IN PARTICULAR, THEY WANT ME TO BE NAKED IN THIS. YOU KNOW, THEY WANTED ME TO BE
NAKED. NOT -- NOT MY FRONT. YOU ALL KNOW WHAT --
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS.
>> Jimmy: SURE >> AND SO -- BUT MY BACK AND I'M, NOT, LIKE -- I'M NOT
A VERY COMFORTABLE PERSON NAKED. YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: NO >> NO, I MEAN, I WOULD SHOWER IN A BATHING SUIT IF IT MEANT,
YOU KNOW, STAYING -- IF IT WASN'T UNSANITARY. >> Jimmy: OF COURSE.
YEAH, OF COURSE. >> JUST SO I DON'T HAVE TO SEE ANYTHING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
AND I ALSO HAVE, YOU KNOW, THE SAME BODY FOR THE LAST, REALLY, 30 YEARS I'VE HAD THE SAME
BODY AND SO, UM - AND, YEAH -- BUT ANYWAY, THEY
WANTED ME TO BE NAKED. >> Jimmy: SO USUALLY YOU'RE NOT PARADING AROUND SAYING, "HEY,
THIS IS THE WAY I LIVE." >> I HAVE THREE MORE JOKES ABOUT MY BODY.
NO, YEAH, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] SORRY, SO, ANYWAY, THEY WANT ME
TO BE NAKED AND I WAS MORTIFIED. YOU KNOW, AND I THOUGHT, "OKAY,
WELL LET ME -- THEY ASKED ME SO, SO NICELY. AND I THOUGHT "OKAY, WELL LET
ME CALL MY WIFE, 'CAUSE SHE'LL SAY NO, AND THEN I CAN SAY, 'YOU KNOW, MY WIFE SAID NO.'
BUT, SO, I CALLED MY WIFE, AND SHE SAID, "WELL, IS THE WOMAN IN THE SCENE NAKED?"
AND I SAID, "YES." AND SHE SAID, "WELL, THEN OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO BE
NAKED. I WAS LIKE, "I WAS CALLING YOU 'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD SAY
NO." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "YOU'RE MY EXCUSE OUT
OF THIS. >> YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY ANYWAY, SHE -- SHE HAD ALREADY
HUNG UP. SO I - [ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, SO I WAS NAKED IN THE SHOW I WAS, YOU KNOW --
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> IT WAS DEEPLY SHAMEFUL. >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] AT THANKS-LIVING, DO YOU NOT BRING UP THE SHOW?
>> I, YOU KNOW, I TOLD MY PARENTS THAT THERE WAS NO PREMIERE IN NEW YORK
[ LAUGHTER ] I SAID, "I THINK THEY'RE JUST GONNA GO TO AIR WITH THIS ONE.
>> Jimmy: "THEY'RE JUST GONNA GO STRAIGHT TO HULU ON THIS ONE," YEAH
>> YEAH, "I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE HULU. AND THEN I'M GONNA DISABLE IT
ON THEIR TV. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
>> THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KNOW >> Jimmy: CAN WE SET UP WHAT "FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE" IS
ABOUT? IT'S A GREAT NOVEL BY THE WAY. IT'S A GOOD READ, AS WELL.
>> AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU'RE IN THE SHOW. YOU'RE IN "FLEISHMAN IS IN
TROUBLE. >> Jimmy: I DO FULL FRONTAL NUDITY IN THIS
[ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT AT FIRST, BUT I CALLED MY WIFE,
AND SHE SAID - >> SHE WAS LIKE, "IS JESSE DOING BACK?"
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "IS JESSE DOING BACK?"
>> "IF JESSE DOES BACK, YOU GOTTA DO FRONT." >> Jimmy: YOU GOTTA BE FAIR,
EXACTLY. >> YEAH, YOU GOTTA SEE BOTH SIDES OF WHAT A MAN LOOKS LIKE
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE, YOU DO, YEAH I'M NOT SURE IF PEOPLE WILL
UNDERSTAND WHEN THEY SEE MY FRONT, BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> EXACTLY THEY'LL PROBABLY THINK IT'S MY BACK
BUT ANYWAY - NO, YEAH, SO THE SHOW IS ABOUT THIS COUPLE --
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE SAYING MY FRONT LOOKS LIKE YOUR BACK >> I'M JUST --
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH >> Jimmy: THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
>> OH, THANKS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY.
HOW DO WE SET UP THE SHOW? >> THANK YOU SO MUCH >> Jimmy: SORRY.
>> OH, YEAH, THE SHOW IS, YOU KNOW, ABOUT THIS - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
OH, I'M NOT -- IT'S NOT TRUE >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
NO, THE SHOW IS ABOUT, LIKE, A A COUPLE DIVORCING THEY'RE GOING THROUGH, LIKE, A
A BAD DIVORCE. AND THEN SHE DROPS THE KIDS OFF WITH ME AND DISAPPEARS, AND NO
ONE KNOWS WHERE SHE IS >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. [ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S JESSE EISENBERG AND CLAIRE DANES IN "FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
ASKING A QUESTION, TOBY. IT'S AN HONEST QUESTION.
>> CAN I GET INSTAGRAM EVERYONE HAS IT. >> NO, WE'VE ANSWERED THIS
BEFORE NO SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL YOU'RE 13.
>> EVERYONE. >> HANNAH, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A PHONE.
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR KIDS AND ANXIETY. YOUR BRAIN IS STILL DEVELOPING,
ALL RIGHT? >> DAD AND I'LL TALK ABOUT IT. >> EXCUSE ME
WE'VE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT, OKAY >> HOW ABOUT MY ANXIETY THAT
EVERYBODY IS ALWAYS ON IT AND LEAVING ME OUT >> SHE HAS A POINT
>> YEAH? >> YOU'RE AN ANIMAL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YEAH THROWING RAW CHICKEN >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, RAW
CHICKEN. >> Jimmy: JESSE EISENBERG, EVERYBODY.
CHECK OUT "FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT'S GREAT RIGHT NOW ON HULU. MADELYN CLINE JOINTS US AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS THAT
YOU KNOW FROM THE HIT SHOW "OUTER BANKS." [ CHEERS ]
OW NOW SHE'S STARRING IN "GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY.
[ CHEERS ] OW WHICH IS IN THEATERS FOR ONE
WEEK ONLY STARTING TODAY AND WILL BE STREAMING ON NETFLIX ON DECEMBER 23rd.
PLEASE WELCOME MADELYN CLINE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
THEY LOVE YOU. >> HI, GUYS. >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE LOVE YOU. IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU IN THE
FLESH. WE'VE ONLY ZOOMED. >> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE JUST AS GORGEOUS AND STUNNING AS YOU WERE ON ZOOM
>> WE'RE NOT CATFISHES >> Jimmy: NO [ LAUGHTER ]
NO, WE'RE NOT. WE'RE REAL PEOPLE. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THANKSGIVING IS TOMORROW HAPPY THANKSGIVING EARLY
>> HAPPY THANKSGIVING. >> Jimmy: JACQUES PEPIN AND I ARE COOKING LATER.
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIALTY THANKSGIVING DISH? >> NO.
NO I DON'T COOK >> Jimmy: AT ALL
>> NO, IT'S WITHIN EVERYBODY'S BEST INTEREST IF I DON'T [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED? >> NO -- I MEAN, OF COURSE I'VE TRIED.
BUT I -- FROM AN EARLY AGE, I REALIZED I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T. I NEARLY BURNT DOWN MY MOM'S
OVEN I TRIED TO MAKE CUPCAKES [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES. BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU NEEDED, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,
BAKING SODA OR BAKING FLOUR. SO, I LIKE -- IT JUST BLEW UP. LL FROM THEN ON, SHE DIDN'T LET
ME - >> Jimmy: YOU JUST THOUGHT YOU'D JUST INVENT A RECIPE AND
SEE IF IT WORKED >> CORRECT >> Jimmy: NEXT THANKSGIVING,
I'M INVITING YOU OVER. >> YOU SHOULD, YOU SHOULD. I CAN MAKE RAMEN, THOUGH
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW WE'RE BUDDIES FOR LIFE >> I WILL MAKE -- I CAN DO -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IF YOU CAN MAKE RAMEN, WE'RE BUDDIES FOR LIFE
>> I CAN DO SOME LIKE -- SOME LATE NIGHT CRAFT RAMEN THAT'S MY [ BLEEP ].
SORRY. THAT'S MY -- [ LAUGHTER ]
SIGNATURE DISH SORRY. >> Jimmy: NO PROBLEM, NO
PROBLEM. >> I CALLED MY DAD BEFORE -- >> Jimmy: MAYBE WE SHOULD BE
BACK ON ZOOM [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA >> I AM.
I'M FROM A LITTLE TOWN CALLED GOOSE CREEK. >> Jimmy: GOOSE CREEK?
>> GOOSE CREEK >> Jimmy: WHAT A CUTE NAME >> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: I'VE NEVER HEARD OF GOOSE CREEK. >> BUT THERE'S -- I MEAN, I
DON'T KNOW IF -- I DON'T THINK THERE'S A LOT OF GEESE THERE >> Jimmy: IS THERE A CREEK
>> THERE'S A CREEK BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY GEESE IN IT >> Jimmy: NO
>> NO. SO, WHATEVER >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YOU KNOW? HEY. >> Jimmy: CUTE NAME, I LOVE IT
I'LL TAKE IT >> IT'S LIKE A CW TOWN >> Jimmy: YEAH
BUT YOU STARTED ACTING AND YOU LANDED WORKING COMMERCIALS, WHICH A LOT OF CHILD ACTORS GET
THEIR START. IN FACT, WE FOUND ONE OF THEM. [ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE THIS >> WHICH ONE
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW -- HERE'S MADELYN CLINE IN A COMMERCIAL FOR A
A CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZA MAKER. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZA.
MICROWAVE FOR JUST A MINUTE. BLEND THE SAUCE AND CHEESE MICROWAVE AGAIN.
>> FUN FOOD IN MINUTES >> AND YOU MADE REAL CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZA WITH EASY
TO MAKE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT LOOKS DELICIOUS
IT LOOKS REALLY DELICIOUS. >> YOU KNOW, HAVE YOU EVER -- YOU'VE HAD A LUNCHABLE, I'M
SURE >> Jimmy: YES. >> IT'S LIKE THAT.
IT'S THE SAME THING. >> Jimmy: YOU WERE AHEAD OF YOUR TIME.
>> THERE WAS NO BAKING INVOLVED >> Jimmy: NO
>> IT'S JUST A TURNTABLE - >> Jimmy: THE CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZA MAKER IS A LUNCHABLE
>> IT IS A LUNCHABLE >> Jimmy: THERE'S A LAWSUIT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL, THAT'S GREAT
NOW LOOK AT YOU. NOW YOU'RE IN "GLASS ONION." >> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN A GIANT MOVIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE "KNIVES OUT" FRANCHISE GREAT CAST, BY THE WAY
>> STACKED, PACKED >> Jimmy: STACKED AND PACKED, SMOTHERED, COVERED -
>> AND SMASHED >> Jimmy: AND SMASHED. YOU GOT -- YOU GOT
DANIEL CRAIG, WHO I LOVE >> I KNOW. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE KATE HUDSON
>> THE BEST. >> Jimmy: WHO DID YOU HAVE THE MOST SCENES WITH
WELL, I GUESS ALL OF THEM. >> OH, GOD OBVIOUSLY I'M STILL ON THE NO
SPOILER TRAIN. >> Jimmy: SO, NEVER MIND >> BUT IT'S AN ENSEMBLE.
IT'S A HEAVY ENSEMBLE. >> Jimmy: YOU NEVER GET TO WORK WITH ANYONE?
>> I DON'T WORK WITH ANYONE. >> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T TALK TO ANYONE ON THE SET.
DIDN'T SEE A THING "I DIDN'T SEE ANYONE AT ALL. NO, THAT'S A GREAT WAY TO SET
UP THE MOVIE I NEVER MET ANYONE IN THE CAST GOOD
IT KEEPS EVERYONE GUESSING IT'S A MYSTERY, SO I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT FOR ANYONE ELSE
EITHER, THOUGH >> IT IS SO MUCH FUN WE REALLY LEANED INTO -- I
WOULD SAY WE LEANED INTO THE COMEDY OF IT ALL EVEN MORE SO THIS TIME, WHICH WAS SO FUN.
IT'S JUST -- I MEAN -- AND WHEN YOU HAVE KATHRYN HAHN ON A A CAST -
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. SHE IS FUNNY FUNNY AND AWESOME.
AND I -- SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS. >> OH, SHE'S THE BEST.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S MADELYN CLINE AND
JANELLE MONAE IN "GLASS ONION. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> THAT WAS MY SECOND ONE OF
THESE THINGS WE DID A YACHT THING LAST YEAR >> THAT SOUNDS FUN
>> NO. I MEAN, WHEN THEY'RE ALL TOGETHER, IT'S KIND OF THE
WORST. DUKE JUST TREATS ME LIKE ARM CANDY AND THEY JUST IGNORE ME.
>> WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH IT >> WITH DUKE I'M BUILDING MY BRAND.
AND HE'S PUTTING ME ON HIS CHANNEL MORE OFTEN SO, HE'S LEANING HARDER RIGHT
INTO THIS MAN-DOM STUFF. LIKE, IF I'M GOING TO GO INTO POLITICS EVENTUALLY, I DON'T
THINK THAT'S A ROAD I WANT TO GO DOWN. LIKE, IT'S EXPEDITIOUS
IT'S KIND OF A [ BLEEP ] SHOW. OH, HERE'S THE POOL. >> I'M GOING TO WALK AROUND
A LITTLE LONGER. I'LL CATCH YOU OVER THERE. >> OKAY.
>> HEY, IT'S REALLY GREAT TALKING WITH YOU >> YOU, TOO.
>> Jimmy: MADELYN CLINE, EVERYBODY. "GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT
MYSTERY" IS IN THEATERS NOW. YOU CAN CATCH IT ON NETFLIX BEGINNING DECEMBER 23rd.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHEF JACQUES PEPIN. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WE'RE JOINED RIGHT
NOW BY A LEGENDARY CHEF. HE'S AN EMMY AND JAMES BEARD AWARD WINNER AND THE FOUNDER OF
THE JACQUES PEPIN FOUNDATION EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME CHEF JACQUES PEPIN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * I LOVE YOU
COME ON. I LOVE YOU WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW
I LOVE YOU TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING, AND I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD
SHOW ME HOW TO PROPERLY CARVE A TURKEY BECAUSE I AM MORON. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO CARVE IT
PROPERLY I DON'T KNOW >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
BUT LET'S SEE THE WAY JACQUES PEPIN DOES IT. >> TO START WITH, WHEN YOU
ROAST IT LIKE THIS, YOU REMOVE THE WISHBONE YOU KNOW, THAT TRIANGLE HERE
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY >> IT'S IN THE WAY TO CARVE, SO YOU REMOVE IT.
SEE, YOU REMOVE IT BEFORE COOKING, IT'S HERE HERE YOU'VE GOT TO PULL ON THE
OTHER SIDE >> Jimmy: LET'S MAKE A WISH. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
>> YOU GOT - >> Jimmy: WOW. WHAT HAPPENED?
WE BOTH GOT OUR WISHES CAME TRUE YEAH
THAT WAS COOL. [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S SO COOL
LOOK AT THIS THAT JUST POPPED OFF EQUALLY OH, MY GOSH.
I'M SAVING THIS. OKAY, COOL [ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO, ANYWAY, SO HERE LIKE THIS, YOU CAN DO THAT. SO HERE, NOW YOU CAN CUT THIS
WAY DIRECTLY AND THEN YOU GO RIGHT DOWN INTO SLICE.
[ AUDIENCE OOHS >> Jimmy: NOW, SEE THIS IS -- I CAN'T DO THIS.
>> OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE OTHER SIDE
>> Jimmy: OH, OH, MY GOSH. I ACTUALLY AM GOING TO DO THIS >> YEAH, DO THIS SIDE HERE
OR YOU CAN DO IT MAYBE BIGGER. SO, YOU CUT IT THIS WAY. >> Jimmy: YEP.
CUT IT THAT WAY. WATCH OUT, BE CAREFUL, I'M NOT -- AROUND ME
>> LOWER >> Jimmy: LOWER? >> YEAH, THAT'S IT
>> Jimmy: RIGHT UNDER THE WISHBONE THING >> YES
>> Jimmy: GO ACROSS. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH, BEAUTIFUL >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT FELT GOOD. >> THAT'S HOW YOU START
SLICING. >> Jimmy: AND THEN SLICE IT LIKE THIS.
>> YES NOW YOU GO - BECAUSE NOW IT STOPS RIGHT
THERE. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH [ CHEERS ]
>> WHOA, YOU'RE GOOD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS
WHOA, LOOK AT THIS >> PERFECT >> Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
I'M GONNA STOP HERE, JUST 'CAUSE IT LOOKS SO GOOD. >> YEAH, THAT'S PERFECT.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU -- >> THEN WE REMOVE THE -- THE DARK MEAT, YOU KNOW?
DARK MEAT. I USE MY HAND, IT'S EASIER >> Jimmy: YEAH
OF COURSE, YOU JUST GET RIGHT IN THERE AND REMOVE IT WITH YOUR HAND.
>> AND YOU TAKE THE DRUMSTICK AND YOU CUT IT IN HALF AND THEN, NOW WE CUT THAT IN
TWO PIECES MAKE SURE TO USE THE SKIN, BECAUSE THE SKIN IS VERY GOOD.
>> Jimmy: THE SKIN IS THE BEST >> DO YOU WANT TO TASTE IT >> Jimmy: I DO
I WOULD LOVE TO TASTE IT OH, MY GOSH. I LOVE JUST DOING ANYTHING WITH
YOU. YEAH, THAT WAS AMAZING I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
MY FAVORITE PART IS THE NEXT DAY, OR MAYBE EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT WHEN YOU MAKE A TURKEY
SANDWICH >> OH, YES [ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING >> I LOVE TURKEY SANDWICH.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO I WAS THINKING WHAT WE COULD DO IS MAYBE MAKE A SANDWICH AND
GIVE QUESTLOVE, YOU CAN BE OUR TASTE TESTER - >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN HE CAN SAY WHO MADE THE BETTER THANKSGIVING SANDWICH.
YOU WANT TO HAVE A COMPETITION >> FINE. >> Jimmy: YOU READY FOR THIS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, BEFORE -- BEFORE WE START, WE NEED QUEST TO PUT ON THE
DOME OF SILENCE. SO, HE WON'T KNOW WHO MADE WHICH --
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, SO, CAN YOU -- YOU CAN'T SEE, RIGHT
OKAY, PERFECT.Y Y Y TO MAKE THIS >> ALL RIGHT, YES. >> Jimmy: I THINK HE CAN'T HEAR
ANYTHING EITHER. >> I CAN TAKE ANY BREAD I WANT HERE, OKAY, HERE
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING THAT BREAD? >> YES
I HAVE SOME STUFF UNDERNEATH HERE >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A SECRET
INGREDIENT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, I HAVE SOME SRIRACHA,
SOME HOT SAUCE >> Jimmy: SRIRACHA >> YES
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. >> YOU WANT SOME OF IT >> Jimmy: NO
>> OH, GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I THINK -- I'M GOING
STUFFING ALL THE WAY I REALLY THINK STUFFING IS A A BIG HIT THIS YEAR.
>> I HAVE SOME MUSTARD HERE. >> Jimmy: MUSTARD? OKAY
SRIRACHA AND MUSTARD I'M JUST GOING STUFFING. THIS IS GOING TO BE REAL DRY
THOUGH, RIGHT? >> I HAVE SOME OLIVE OIL >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OH, OLIVE OIL. >> OLIVE OIL >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, I MIGHT USE
SOME OF THAT OLIVE OIL >> I HAVE SOME LETTUCE TOO >> Jimmy: LETTUCE IS DELICIOUS,
BUT, YOU KNOW. >> WANT LETTUCE? >> Jimmy: NO
YEAH, IT LOOKS NICE, RIGHT YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, LETTUCE IS GOOD I'LL PUT ONE -- TWO THINGS OF LETTUCE ON THERE
OOH, LOOK AT THAT. IT'S ACTUALLY GONNA BE - I'M GOING TO DO A LITTLE GRAVY
ON MINE. >> YEAH, YOU PUT - >> Jimmy: SHOULD I PUT IT ON
THE BREAD? SO THE BREADS -- KIND OF SOPS IT UP A LITTLE BIT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> CAN I HAVE SOME GRAVY TOO >> Jimmy: YEAH, I GUESS SO
>> OKAY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE
SOME GRAVY ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE PUTTING GRAVY TOO.
>> JUST A BIT. >> Jimmy: HOW IS QUESTLOVE DRUMMING WHILE NOT SEEING OR
HEARING? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT.
TURKEY RIGHT HERE. AND THEN - >> YOU TOOK THE PIECE I WANTED
>> Jimmy: I KNOW I DID, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] I TOOK THE GOOD ONE, RIGHT
YOU CAN TAKE -- I CARVED THAT SIDE >> NO, NO, I'M DOING ONLY THE
DARK MEAT. >> Jimmy: I THINK QUEST WOULD THINK THAT I -
>> I LIKE THE DARK MEAT. >> Jimmy: WHAT IS -- WHAT IS THIS
WHAT'S THAT? >> OH, THIS IS THE GRATIN THAT MY MOTHER USED TO DO
IN FRANCE, WE NEVER DO -- WE NEVER DO SWEET PUMPKIN THE PUMPKIN IS DONE WITH CREAM
AND CHEESE YOU WANT TO TASTE IT >> Jimmy: YEAH, I DO WANT TO
TASTE IT, TO JUST CHECK IT OUT SORRY. OH, MY GOSH.
>> WANT TO PUT IT IN YOUR SANDWICH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S -- I WANT THAT RECIPE THE GRATIN
OOH, JACQUES PEPIN GRATIN. HERE WE GO [ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, GONNA PUT A LITTLE CRANBERRY. JUST A LITTLE -- JUST A LITTLE
BIT. JUST ENOUGH. JUST ENOUGH.
AND THEN LOOK AT THIS. [ AUDIENCE OOHS >> WOW
THAT'S SUGAR, THOUGH >> Jimmy: OH, WAIT, IT'S NOT SUGAR, IS IT
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU GOT ME, BUDDY. LIKE, OH, MY GOSH.
ALL RIGHT. WAIT, THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA MAKE
I'M GONNA GO -- THAT'S IT. THAT'S SIMPLE. IS THAT ENOUGH
[ CHEERS ] ALL RIGHT, AUDIENCE SEEMS TO LIKE -
>> HERE IS MINE. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. IF I BEAT JACQUES PEPIN AT A
A SANDWICH MAKING CONTEST, YES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WOO!
I'M EXCITED. >> CAN I PUT THAT -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HEY, WHOA, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT >> RIGHT THERE
>> Jimmy: OH, I LOVE YOU HAPPY THANKSGIVING >> THANK YOU
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: TARIQ, CAN YOU LET HIM KNOW
>> Tariq: IT'S -- IT'S -- TAKE - IT'S TIME TO TAKE THE --
>> Questlove: STOP THE SONG. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH WAIT
OH, YEAH ALL RIGHT. >> Questlove: I'M READY?
>> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: QUEST. >> Tariq: HERE, I'LL TAKE IT
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE TWO TURKEY SANDWICHES HERE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Questlove: OKAY >> Jimmy: ONE IS MADE BY JACQUES PEPIN.
ALL RIGHT, SO TAKE A BITE AND LET'S SEE WHAT YOU THINK >> Questlove: ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YEP. START WITH THAT ONE. OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
>> Questlove: HM >> Jimmy: OKAY >> TURKEY'S GREAT.
>> Jimmy: YEP, IT IS GOOD. YEAH, GREAT. HE SAID "GREAT."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH >> SOMEONE SHOULD HOLD THE TRAY
FOR HIM. >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO, THIS IS GETTING GOOD
>> YOU NEED TWO HANDS FOR THAT ONE. >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS ONE
OOH, OOH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: MM-HMM, MM-HMM,
MM-HMM >> Questlove: THERE'S A LOT GOING ON WITH THIS ONE
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NOT GOING DOWN NOT GOING DOWN
>> Questlove: ALL RIGHT. I'LL SAY THIS MUCH, BECAUSE HE'S A BETTER COOK THAN I AM, I
WOULD HAVE PROBABLY MADE THIS SANDWICH SO, THIS IS MORE ME, BUT THIS
ONE ACTUALLY TASTES A LITTLE BETTER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WHO WON? >> Jimmy: YOU -- YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, THAT'S JACQUES'S.
THAT'S MINE. THAT'S MINE, THAT'S JACQUES'S. [ APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S CORRECT THAT'S EXACTLY THE RIGHT CHOICE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * YOU'RE THE CHAMP
JACQUES PEPIN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GO TO JP.FOUNDATION TO LEARN
MORE ABOUT JACQUES'S VIDEO SERIES "COOK WITH JACQUES AND FRIENDS.
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
JESSE EISENBERG, MADELYN CLINE, JACQUES PEPIN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> HAPPY THANKSGIVING. >> Jimmy: AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING >> THANK YOU HAPPY THANKSGIVING
>> Jimmy: STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS." GOODNIGHT, EVERYONE.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE