>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ALLISON WILLIAMS
JERROD CARMICHAEL, MUSICAL GUEST, JESSIE REYEZ, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1772 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS.
THAT FEELS GOOD. ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE.
YOU MADE IT. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS, SOME NEWS FROM WASHINGTON -
THIS MORNING, KEVIN McCARTHY EMERGED FROM HIS HOLE AND SAW HIS SHADOW, WHICH MEANS THERE'S
SIX MORE WEEKS OF VOTING [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT
YEP, TODAY AT NOON, THE HOUSE BEGAN THEIR FOURTH DAY OF VOTING FOR A SPEAKER
I LOVE THAT THEY CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE, BUT THEY STILL REFUSE TO START THE WORKDAY
BEFORE 12:00 P.M [ LAUGHTER ] FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS
FOUR STRAIGHT -- AT THIS POINT, THE VOTE HAS LASTED LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE'S NEW YEAR'S
RESOLUTIONS. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE ARE BETTING
ON WHICH WE'LL GET FIRST, THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OR "AVATAR 3.
WE'RE NOT SURE [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT
AS OF TONIGHT'S TAPING, McCARTHY HAS LOST 13 TIMES [ AUDIENCE MURMURS ]
THEY SAY 13 IS UNLUCKY, BUT 1 TO 12 WEREN'T THAT GREAT EITHER
SO, I MEAN - [ LAUGHTER ] NO ONE KNOWS HOW THIS WILL TURN
OUT FOR McCARTHY RIGHT NOW, THERE'S A A CONGRATULATIONS BANNER
HANGING IN HIS OFFICE WITH A A REMOVABLE QUESTION MARK. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GUYS SEE THIS? APPARENTLY LAST NIGHT CONGRESSMAN-ELECT GEORGE SANTOS
WAS OVERHEARD TALKING ABOUT THE SPEAKERSHIP FIGHT. AND HE ACTUALLY SAID, "YOU
CAN'T MAKE THIS CRAP UP. [ LAUGHTER ] AND SANTOS SAID, "WELL, I CAN,
BUT YOU CAN'T. [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, SANTOS WAS LIKE, "THIS
REMINDS ME OF THAT TIME I INVENTED THE iPHONE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"IT WAS A SUNNY DAY. I WAS JEWISH." [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WAS THE FOURTH STRAIGHT DAY OF VOTING, AND YOU COULD TELL THEY WERE BORED
THEY TRIED TO MAKE THE PROCESS A LITTLE MORE FUN. CHECK OUT HOW THE NAMES WERE
CALLED OUT TODAY
[ LAUGHTER ]
ADAMS -- JEFFRIES. ADERHOLT -- McCARTHY [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S CHANGE GEARS SOME MOVIE NEWS, TODAY "M3GAN," THE NEW HORROR MOVIE ABOUT A
A KILLER ROBOT DOLL HIT THEATERS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S RIGHT A HORROR MOVIE CALLED, "M3GAN," PRINCE WILLIAM WAS LIKE, "SEEN
IT." [ LAUGHTER ] [ RIM SHOT ]
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: THE MOVIE HAS A RUNNING TIME OF 1 HOUR AND
42 MINUTES IT'S SHOCKING. THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY THE
LENGTH OF A MOVIE. [ LAUGHTER ] IF YOU DUCK OUT -- IF YOU DUCK
OUT TO WATCH IT DURING "AVATAR," YOU'LL ONLY MISS ONE SCENE.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A WHALE SPINNING AROUND, YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WELL, THE BIG ANNUAL CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW IS UNDERWAY IN
LAS VEGAS. AND THERE ARE A LOT OF NEW HIGH-TECH PRODUCTS ON DISPLAY,
INCLUDING A SMART CUTTING BOARD WITH A BUILT-IN SCREEN SMART CUTTING BOARD WITH A
A BUILT-IN SCREEN. YEAH, THE INVENTOR WAS LIKE, "OKAY, FINE, IT'S AN iPAD.
[ LAUGHTER ] "BUT SO YOU PUT A -- YOU PUT A A CARROT ON IT --"
THAT'S DEFINITELY WHEN I WANT TO BE DISTRACTED WITH A SCREEN, WHEN I'M USING A KNIFE
RIGHT, THAT'S -- I SAW THAT RAM UNVEILED A NEW CONCEPT TRUCK WITH THREE ROWS
OF SEATS IT'S PERFECT FOR THE TRUCK GUY WHO IS EASING HIS WAY INTO
BECOMING A MINIVAN GUY [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, SONY AND HONDA
ANNOUNCED THAT THE NAME OF THEIR NEW ELECTRIC CAR BRAND IS AFEELA
AS IN, AFEELA THEY COULD HAVE COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME-A [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
SONY PLUS HONDA EQUALS AFEELA? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S LIKE IF BRAD AND
ANGELINA'S COUPLE NAME WAS AFEELA [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WELL, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT PRINCE HARRY'S NEW BOOK, AS THE DETAILS START TO COME OUT.
AND THIS IS VERY INTERESTING - AT ONE POINT, PRINCE HARRY WRITES THAT BEFORE HIS
BROTHER'S WEDDING, HE ACTUALLY HAD FROSTBITE ON HIS - YOU KNOW
HOW DO I PUT THIS? HE HAD FROSTBITE ON HIS LITTLE PRINCE
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Questlove: WHOA, NO, NO, NO WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS -
ALL RIGHT, HOW CAN I PUT THIS? OH, HIS BIG BEN BECAME LITTLE BEN.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HOW DO I PUT THIS? RON WEASLEY ALMOST LOST HIS WAND
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HOW DO I PUT THIS?
IT WAS A BLIZZARD IN DOWNTON [ LAUGHTER ] [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
>> NO, NO, NO, NO. HOW DO I PUT THIS? CHARLES ALMOST SAID GOOD-BYE TO
HIS DICKENS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: NO
I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS HIS PENIS GOT FROZEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT? AM I WRONG >> Jimmy: SOME BUSINESS NEWS, I
READ THAT BED BATH & BEYOND IS PREPARING TO FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY
>> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: IT'S PRETTY SERIOUS. THE COMPANY ACTUALLY RELEASED
A STATEMENT. "AT BED BATH & BEYOND WE BASE OUR BELIEFS ON BEING THE BEST
BIG BOX BOUTIQUE TO BUY BLENDERS, BOWLS, BAMBOO BREAD BOXES, AND YOUR BABY'S BUBBLE
BATH BUT BOUNCING BACK OUR BUSINESS HAS BEEN A BUMMER RATHER THAN
A BANK BOOSTER WHILE BANKRUPTCY MAY BE A BAD BADGE FOR BED, BATH & BEYOND,
IT MAY BE THE BALM WE NEEDED TO BAIL OUR BUTTS OUT OF BEING BOOTED
BARRING THAT, YOU CAN BET WE'RE BINGING ON BACARDI BYYEEEE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID. >> Steve: THAT'S WHAT THEY
RELEASED >> Jimmy: YEAH NOW GET THIS, APPARENTLY PARTY
CITY IS ALSO ABOUT TO FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY THAT'S SURPRISING.
I MEAN, IF THERE WAS ONE COMPANY YOU THOUGHT COULD HANDLE INFLATION -
[ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE IN THE BALLOON BUSINESS
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SOMEHOW, THEY SURVIVED 2020 WHEN THROWING PARTIES WERE
LITERALLY ILLEGAL -- [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEY'RE CLOSING NOW.
[ PHONE VIBRATING HOW EMBARRASSING SORRY, LET ME CHECK THIS, ONE
SEC. OH, I JUST GOT A NEW FACEBOOK MEMORY
IT SAYS THAT TWO YEARS AGO ON THIS DAY I WENT SLEDDING WITH MY FAMILY.
>> Steve: AW >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT TIME. [ PHONE VIBRATING
>> Questlove: OH HEY, HERE IT SAYS TWO YEARS AGO TODAY I HOSTED A SMALL FONDUE
PARTY WITH SOME FRIENDS. >> Jimmy: THAT SOUNDS REALLY NICE
HIGGINS, DID YOU GET ANY FACEBOOK MEMORIES? WHAT WERE YOU DOING TWO YEARS
AGO TODAY? >> Steve: TODAY'S JANUARY 6th? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH YEAH >> Steve: SO, TWO YEARS AGO,
WHAT WAS I DOING >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON
JANUARY 6, 2021? >> Steve: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? FACEBOOK JUST SAYS, "NOTHING TO
SEE. MOVE ON. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHATEVER, MAN. YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO TELL US WHERE YOU WERE ON
JANUARY 6th TWO YEARS AGO? >> Steve: OH, HERE WE GO IT SAYS I WAS SLEDDING
[ LAUGHTER ] WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT WHY WOULD YOU BE SLEDDING WITH US
>> Steve: OH YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME, YOU, JANUARY 6th
REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY SLEDDING [ LAUGHTER ]
NOW YOU REMEMBER [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
SURE, SURE, OF COURSE. YEAH, YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT NOW.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: AH MEMORIES
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOU CAME SLEDDING WITH ME AND --
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] GUYS, LISTEN TO THIS, THE COMPANY THAT MAKES SLIM JIMS
SAID THAT MORE PRICE INCREASES ARE POSSIBLE YEAH
SLIM JIMS HAVE GOTTEN SO EXPENSIVE, THEY NOW GO BY SLIMOTHY JIMOTHIES
[ LAUGHTER ] [ RIMSHOT [ APPLAUSE ]
SLIMOTHY JIMOTHIES AND FINALLY, SPEAKING OF TUBED MEAT, I HEARD THAT OSCAR MAYER
IS LOOKING TO HIRE 12 PEOPLE TO DRIVE THE WIENERMOBILE [ CHEERS ]
IT'S ALWAYS ANNOYING HOW THE WIENERMOBILE DRIVERS ARE HIRED IN GROUPS OF 12, WHILE THE BUN
MOBILE DRIVERS ARE HIRED IN GROUPS OF 8. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FROM THE NEW HORROR MOVIE, "M3GAN," ALLISON WILLIAMS IS
HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GOLDEN GLOBES HOST
JERROD CARMICHAEL IS ON THE SHOW, TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM JESSIE REYEZ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S GO WRITE SOME THANK YOU NOTES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LAST NIGHT, I HAD ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE
EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE >> Steve: WHAT >> Jimmy: NO BIG DEAL.
>> Steve: WAIT, WHAT >> Jimmy: NBD. >> Steve: WHAT'D YOU DO?
>> Jimmy: "WHAT'D YOU DO?" OH, I HAD ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCES OF MY
LIFE I WENT TO SEE -- FOR REAL -- I WENT TO SEE "ALMOST FAMOUS" ON
BROADWAY >> Steve: OOH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: AT THE BERNARD B. JACOBS THEATRE. IT'S A MUSICAL BASED ON THE
MOVIE "ALMOST FAMOUS." AND I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH -- I WAS IN THAT MOVIE.
I WAS IN "ALMOST FAMOUS. I HAD A SMALL PART BUT MEMORABLE JUST FROM THE
APPLAUSE YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NO - ACTUALLY, MY DAD, OVER CHRISTMAS, GAVE ME THIS BECAUSE
HE SAVED IT. THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE YOU AT THE MOVIE PREMIERE OF "ALMOST
FAMOUS." I WENT WITH MY MOM AND DAD HERE ARE OUR TICKETS -
- [ AUDIENCE AWS ] - - TO GO SEE IT IN 2 2000 -- SEPTEMBER IN 2002.
IT WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR ME. AND SO, I WANTED TO SEE THIS PLAY
AND SO -- I LOVE CAMERON CROWE YOU KNOW, HE WAS SUCH A GREAT GUY TO ME ON THIS THING.
AND SO I WENT TO SEE THE PLAY. I WENT BY MYSELF SO I COULD JUST GO AND JUST REALLY GET
INTO IT, AND LOOK AT THE ACTORS AND GET INTO IT AND LIKE, GO, "OH, MY GOSH, I REMEMBER THAT.
THAT WAS 22 YEARS AGO. YOU KNOW SO, I DID IT
AND IT'S GREAT THE SHOW'S GREAT THE MUSIC'S GREAT.
JAKEIM HART, WHO PLAYS THE ROLE I DID, HE NAILED IT. EVERYONE'S -- IT'S PHENOMENAL.
THE CHOREOGRAPHY -- SARAH O'GLEBY, BY THE WAY, DID THE CHOREOGRAPHY
>> Steve: DID SHE REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: DUDE, SHE CRUSHED IT THERE'S A SCENE -- [ APPLAUSE ]
THERE'S A WHOLE SCENE WHERE THE LEAD SINGER IS GOING THROUGH -- LIKE, HE'S LEAVING THIS DOOR
AND THEN A STAGE HAND WOULD MOVE ANOTHER DOOR IN FRONT OF HIM.
AND HE'D GO THROUGH THAT DOOR. AND THEN, THROUGH ANOTHER DOOR AND THROUGH ANOTHER -- IT WAS
LIKE - THAT'S -- IT WAS MESMERIZING SARAH, GREAT JOB
ALSO, TOM KITT DID THE MUSIC GREAT MUSIC. SO, I'M SITTING THERE, I'M
LOVING IT. I'M GETTING A LITTLE EMOTIONAL 'CAUSE IT WAS JUST COOL.
AND I REMEMBER, LIKE, "OH, CAMERON CROWE IS A GENIUS. EVERY LINE, YOU GO, "OH, MY
GOD, SUCH A GREAT LINE." THEN HE HAS TO SPACE IT OUT. AND THERE'S ANOTHER GREAT LINE
AND THERE'S ANOTHER QUOTABLE LINE YOU'RE LIKE -- AH.
AND EVERYONE'S GREAT I LOVED IT SO, INTERMISSION COMES, AND
SECURITY COMES OVER TO ME, AND THEY GO, "MR. FALLON, WE JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THE SEAT NEXT
TO YOU IS EMPTY. BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE JOINING YOU FOR THE SECOND HALF
OF THE PLAY. I GO, "OKAY, COOL. AND I TEXTED
LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA I GO, "I'M GOING TO 'ALMOST FAMOUS.'
IF YOU WANT -- IF YOU'R -- AND HE'S LIKE "MAYBE I'LL BE THERE FOR THE SECOND HALF,
MAYBE I WON'T. SO, THEY'RE ABOUT TO START THE SECOND HALF.
THIS GUY COMES SITS NEXT TO ME, LOOKS AT ME, IT'S CAMERON CROWE.
>> Steve: AW [ AUDIENCE AWS ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S, LIKE, AWESOME. HE GAVE ME A HUG, "YO, YO. YOU MADE IT.
AND WE SAT THERE AND WATCHED THE WHOLE SECOND HALF OF THE PLAY WITH CAMERON CROWE WHO
DIRECTED ME 22 YEARS AGO AND WE'RE SITTING THERE. AND HE MUST HAVE BRUISES ON HIS
LEGS, 'CAUSE I WAS GRABBING HIS LEG GOING, "DO YOU REMEMBER THAT
WE HAD TO MAKE UP THE SCENE -- DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?" AND HE'S LIKE, "YEAH."
AND HE'S, LIKE, SO POSITIVE AND COOL, AND IT WAS JUST GREAT. I LOVED THAT GUY SO MUCH TO
JUST SURPRISE ME AND DO THAT AND IT WAS JUST AWESOME. AND THEN AT THE END OF THE
SHOW - OH, WE HAVE PHOTOS HERE. THIS IS --
OH, YEAH, LIN SHOWED UP TOO BY THE WAY. BUT HE WAS THERE, YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT HERE'S ME AND THE CAST RIGHT THERE, ALL HANGING OUT
THEY WERE AMAZING. LOOK AT 'EM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND AT THE END -- AT THE END OF THE THING, THE LEAD CAME DOWN, GRABBED ME, AND PULLED ME ON
STAGE, AND I TOOK A BOW WITH EVERYBODY. AND IT WAS LIKE -- I WAS -- I
MADE MY BROADWAY DEBUT LAST NIGHT. IN THE MOVIE -- THAT WAS MY
MOVIE DEBUT, 22 YEARS AGO. I WANT TO THANK THE CAST, EVERYONE THERE
IT WAS EMOTIONAL, AND IT WAS EXCITING, AND LOVING, AND FUN. IT WAS SO CAMERON CROWE.
THANK YOU CAMERON CROWE. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GO SEE IT. GUYS, TODAY IS FRIDAY, AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP
ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF I CHECK MY INBOX, RETURN SOME EMAILS, AND OF COURSE, I SEND
OUT THANK YOU NOTES. AND I WAS JUST RUNNING A BIT BEHIND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DO YOU GUYS MIND - JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU
NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * >> Steve: "M3GAN."
>> Jimmy: YEAH NO, IT'S NOT "M3GAN. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
* THANK YOU, DRY JANUARY, FOR BEING THE MONTH WHERE PEOPLE GO
A WHOLE WEEK WITHOUT DRINKING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "WHAT'S THE DATE?"
>> Jimmy: "IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH." * THANK YOU, KEVIN McCARTHY.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY -
- [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - - AND TRY AND TRY AGAIN AND TRY, AND TRY
[ LAUGHTER ] * THANK YOU, SPEAKER OF THE
HOUSE, FOR SOUNDING LIKE A A FANCY NAME FOR YOUR ALEXA. [ APPLAUSE ]
"THAT'S THE SPEAKER OF --" MY KIDS CHANGED THE ALEXA NAME THE OTHER DAY.
>> Steve: WHAT IS IT >> Jimmy: IT WAS LIKE ZIPPY OR SOMETHING.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S TERRIBLE, IT'S A NIGHTMARE.
'CAUSE I GO, "WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING? THEY GO, "WE DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING." BUT I GUESS YOU COULD CHANGE THE NAME
SO, I HAD TO FIND OUT -- >> Steve: SO YOU HAVE TO GO -- DID YOU HAVE TO SAY --
>> Jimmy: "ZIPPY, CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK TO ALEXA?
>> Steve: BUT YOU HAD TO KNOW ZIPPY. >> Jimmy: SOMEONE HAD TO FIGURE
OUT ZIPPY, YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: HEY MAN, IT'S
FEBRUARY FIRST SOMEWHERE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, GEORGE SANTOS, FOR BEING THE PINOCCHIO OF POLITICS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU, SOUTHWEST AIRLINES, FOR MAKING PEOPLE ON SPIRIT
FEEL LIKE THEY JUST GOT UPGRADED TO FIRST CLASS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
* [ AIR HORNS *
>> Steve: SPIRIT AIRLINES. * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, SKI LIFTS,
FOR NOT UPDATING YOUR SAFETY REQUIREMENTS SINCE 1936. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"PULL THE PIPE DOWN. OR DON'T." >> Tariq: "GRAB THAT ROPE.
>> Jimmy: "GRAB -- PULL THE PIPE DOWN, OR DON'T. WE DON'T CARE.
* THANK YOU, TINY JUGS OF MAPLE SYRUP, FOR LOOKING LIKE
ACCESSORIES FOR AN AMERICAN GIRL DOLL MOONSHINE KIT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"YOU WANNA TRY SOME OF THIS? >> Steve: "YEAH, THE REVOLUTION'S COMING.
>> Jimmy: "OH, THIS'LL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
"YOU GOT IT PAPPY. * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, "AVATAR"
SEQUEL, FOR BEING THE ONLY MOVIE WHERE THE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE REVIEWS BOTH SAY, "IT
BLUE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ RIMSHOT
>> Steve: COME ON. * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, ADDING
A HEART OR A "HA HA" IN A TEXT MESSAGE, FOR BEING THE NICEST WAY TO SAY, "I WANT THIS
CONVERSATION TO BE OVER. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "HA HA."
* THANK YOU, CHRISTMAS TREES AFTER THE HOLIDAYS, FOR TAKING
DRY JANUARY WAY TOO FAR. THERE YOU GO, EVERYBODY. [ APPLAUSE ]
THOSE ARE OUR THANK YOU NOTES. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ALLISON WILLIAMS, EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: A-B-C-D-E -- >> I KNOW THIS ONE A-B-C-D-E-F-G.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU. * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A TALENTED ACTRESS WHO YOU KNOW FROM "GIRLS" AND "GET OUT. SHE'S STARRING IN THE NEW
HORROR MOVIE, "M3GAN," WHICH IS IN THEATERS NOW. EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME
ALLISON WILLIAMS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK >> HI!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YES! >> HI!
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK GREAT GREAT TO SEE YOU YOU LOOK STUNNING ON THE COVER
OF THE "TOWN & COUNTRY" HERE TOO. OOH LA LA.
>> OOH LA LA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OOH LA LA SASSON
>> OOH LA LA >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE --
>> YEAH, WE DO >> Jimmy: SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU ARE NOW
ENGAGED AND YOU HAVE A BABY. >> YEAH, A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. *
>> THANK YOU THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> I KNOW. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU FREAKING OUT HOW -- ARE YOU LOVING IT
WHAT'S -- HOW'S THE BABY >> WHAT IF I WAS LIKE, "I -- I'M, LIKE, 50/50."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH >> NO, I'M COMPLETELY OBSESSED
WITH IT. I LOVE IT. EVERYTHING'S DIFFERENT
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> LIKE, MY SPOTIFY IS JUST LIKE, "OH, YOU JUST WANT
VARIOUS VERSIONS OF 'OLD MACDONALD.'" THAT SEEMS TO BE --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT WAS YOUR SPOTIFY WRAPPED FOR THE YEAR
>> WHILE WE'RE GATHER -- YEAH >> AND MY WHOLE PHONE IS LIKE,
"OH, SHOULD WE JUST BECOME YOUR BABY MONITOR LIKE, DO YOU USE ANYTHING ELSE
HERE?" >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, IT'S EVERYTHING NOW
I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM. WE'RE JUST IN LOVE >> Jimmy: HOW OLD -- HOW OLD
>> HE'S, LIKE, 14 MONTHS OLD >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: JUST ON -- >> I KNOW. I SAID, "LIKE" TO BE COOL ABOUT
IT BECAUSE -- >> Jimmy: HE'S EXACTLY -- >> -- TURNING 14 MONTHS OLD IN
2 DAYS ISN'T AS COOL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND HOW IS -- HOW ARE YOUR PARENTS
HOW'S THE GRANDPARENTS >> THEY ARE OBSESSED THEY ARE -
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> -- COMPLETELY ENAMORED. AND THEY'RE ALSO THE GREATEST.
>> Jimmy: THEY LIVE TO CLOSE TO YOU, RIGHT >> VERY, VERY CLOSE.
THEY STOP BY A LOT >> Jimmy: THEY DO? >> YEAH, A LOT
NO, IN A GOOD WAY. SORRY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO >> I REALIZE, LIKE, I'M -- >> Jimmy: NO, WE DIDN'T SENSE
ANY SARCASM THERE. >> NO, NO. A LOT.
>> Jimmy: NO, YEAH, OF COURSE. YOU LOVE IT. >> IT'S, LIKE, THEY ARE
WONDERFUL. >> OF COURSE, THEY ARE >> I GOT -- I'M REALLY LUCKY
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE THE BEST >> YOU ARE BEING SARCASTIC [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AM I >> "THEY'RE THE BEST." >> Jimmy: "WHO KNOWS?"
>> "WHO DOESN'T LOVE WHEN PARENTS COME BY? >> Jimmy: "I LOVE WHEN PARENTS
COME BY. >> "I LOVE AN UNANNOUNCED STOP BY."
>> Jimmy: "I, ONE DAY, SURPRISE ME." YEAH, OF COURSE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LET'S TALK ABOUT "M3GAN. 'CAUSE, BY THE WAY --
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT IT >> Jimmy: I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS
IT IS THE FREAKIEST, SCARIEST THING EVER IN THE WORLD. IT'S GETTING GREAT REVIEWS, BY
THE WAY. 95% FRESH ON ROTTEN TOMATOES >> FRESH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: FRESH. >> FRESH
YES. >> Jimmy: YOU STAR IN IT YOU ALSO EXECUTIVE PRODUCED IT
CAN YOU SET UP WHAT "M3GAN" IS FOR EVERYONE >> SO, BASICALLY, IT IS THE
STORY OF A -- AN A.I. ROBOT THAT HAS BEEN DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE A DOLL.
AND IS AN IDEAL PLAYMATE FOR A A KID AND KIND OF, LIKE, A A NANNY/CO-PARENT TO A PARENT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND MY CHARACTER, GEMMA, IS A ROBOTICIST WHO IS -- WHO HAS
DESIGNED HER AND I GET CUSTODY OF MY NIECE UNDER VERY TRAGIC
CIRCUMSTANCES. AND SO, I THINK, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH A KID.
I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO. I'LL USE THIS ROBOT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON, AND USE IT TO HELP
ME RAISE MY NIECE, WHO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE AND I'LL PUT THEM TOGETHER
BECAUSE THE ROBOT NEEDS THE LITTLE GIRL TO GROW AND LEARN. AND THE LITTLE GIRL NEEDS
A ROBOT TO BE, LIKE, BE SAD ABOUT THESE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO HER.
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> AND, YOU KNOW -- >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> IT JUST ALL GOES REALLY WELL >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE.
[ LAUGHTER ] IS THAT RIGHT? YEAH
>> YEAH, YEAH. EVERYTHING'S FINE AND IT'S A A 20 MINUTE MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: AND JASON BLUM >> YEAH, JASON BLUM, JAMES WAN WE'VE GOT SOME, LIKE, HORROR
ROYALTY HERE >> Jimmy: WHEN DID YOU FIRST SEE THE DOLL
>> I FIRST SAW THE -- I SAW A BUNCH OF DIGITAL RENDERINGS. BUT THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY
MET THE DOLL, SHE WAS DOING A CAMERA TEST. AND -- WHICH MEANS THAT BEFORE
YOU START FILMING TO TEST THE LENSES AND EVERYTHING IN WARDROBE, YOU JUST GO INTO AN
EMPTY SOUNDSTAGE WITH A BACKDROP KIND OF, LIKE, OVER THERE.
AND SHE WAS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE THIS. AND PEOPLE WERE, LIKE, TOUCHING
UP HER HAIR AND STUFF LIKE THAT AND I JUST THOUGHT, "THIS IS
GONNA BE THE SCARIEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS SCARY. >> YEAH, JUST --
>> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THAT WAS - >> AND SOMEONE'S JUST COMBING HER HAIR
AND THEN -- OOH. SO, ONE OF THE VERSIONS OF HER -- WE ACHIEVED HER IN
A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT WAYS -- BUT ONE OF THEM WAS ANIMATRONIC.
AND BECAUSE SHE BLINKS, HER EYES GET STUCK SOMETIMES, SO, THEY HAVE TO, LIKE, PUT --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ONE -- ONE LID >> LISTEN, IT'S NOT --
WHO SAYS MY JOB IS EASY? >> Jimmy: NO [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU HAVE TO LOOK -- SO, THERE'S SOMEONE PUTTING A LUBRICANT ON HER EYEBALL
AND I'M LIKE, "SHE -- I KNOW SHE'S NOT REAL I KNOW SHE'S NOT REAL.
BUT SHE IS TALKING AND BLINKING AND HER FACE IS MOVING [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND YOU'RE PUTTING SOMETHING ON HER EYEBALL AND IT JUST
LOOKS WEIRD. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW A A CLIP
HERE'S ALLISON WILLIAMS IN "M3GAN." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
IT SOUNDED LIKE M3GAN. >> IF SHE COMES IN THIS ROOM,
I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF RIGHT OFF YOUR NECK, I SWEAR TO GOD. >> I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU
SAID, ABOUT HOW WHEN SOMETHING'S BROKEN, YOU DON'T JUST THROW IT AWAY
YOU FIX IT SO, THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO
BUT DON'T COME IN HERE, CADY, IT'S KIND OF A MESS. >> AUNT GEM IS RIGHT, CADY
I'M ALL ODDS AND ENDS RIGHT NOW. I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'T
SEE ME LIKE THIS >> IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE FIGHTING
>> WE'RE NOT FIGHTING. >> GEMMA JUST DROPPED ME ON THE TABLE, BUT I'M OKAY.
CLUMSY GEMMA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT
"CLUMSY GEMMA. >> "CLUMSY GEMMA." YOUR WHOLE PHYSICAL REACTION
SHOULD JUST BE THE ONLY AD CAMPAIGN WE DO FOR THIS MOVIE. [ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S REALLY WHAT I FELT >> WHATEVER YOU JUST DID
>> Jimmy: THAT'S REALLY WHAT I FELT >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, IT -- WHEN THE TRAILER CAME OUT -- >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IT WENT VIRAL IMMEDIATELY, AND PEOPLE FREAKING OUT
THERE'S THIS SCENE WHERE SHE - IT WENT VIRAL OF M3GAN IS DANCING.
>> YES >> Jimmy: AND IT -- DOWN A A HALLWAY.
WE HAVE THAT MOMENT. CHECK THIS OUT
* * >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
SO, THAT -- [ AUDIENCE OHS ] >> Jimmy: BUT THAT WAS -- WENT
VIRAL. PEOPLE WERE POSTING THEIR OWN VERSIONS OF --
>> YEP THEY WERE SETTING IT TO DIFFERENT SONGS.
THEY WERE DOING THEIR OWN VERSIONS OF IT PEOPLE WERE CARTWHEELING INTO
THINGS JUST THE GREATEST. >> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU GUYS SAW THAT, RIGHT DID EVERYONE SEE THAT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ CHEERS ] *
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. ALLISON WILLIAMS, EVERYONE
"M3GAN" IS IN THEATERS NOW ALLISON AND I ARE PLAYING THE "SINGING WHISPER CHALLENGE"
WHEN WE COME BACK. STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> AND THEY SAID, "CAN YOU SMILE, YOU KNOW, IN THE NEW PICTURE SO WE CAN PUT --
AND I SAID, "HOW ABOUT I SCOWL AND INSTEAD OF CHANGING IT UP, IT SAYS 'A NIGHT OF
DEVASTATION.'" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH ALLISON WILLIAMS
PCPC GO SEE "M3GAN" THIS WEEKEND. ALLISON AND I ARE ABOUT TO PLAY
A SINGING VERSION OF "THE WHISPER CHALLENGE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> WHISPER CHALLENGE >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
NOW, HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS ONE PERSON PUTS ON THESE HEADPHONES WITH LOUD MUSIC
PLAYING. AND THEN THE OTHER PERSON PICKS UP A CARD, SINGS THE SONG
LYRICS ON THE CARD, AND THE PERSON WEARING HEADPHONES TRIES TO GUESS WHAT THEY JUST SAID
OKAY >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
SO, YOU'LL PUT THE HEADPHONES - YOU CAN PLAY THIS AT HOME.
>> I'M GOING FIRST >> Jimmy: YEAH >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: YOU GO FIRST I'LL PUT THE SONG ON >> THEY CAN PLAY IT AT HOME.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN PLAY IT AT HOME. SURE
IF YOU PUT ON HEADPHONES, PLAY IT [ LAUGHTER ]
WHENEVER ALLISON - ARE YOU READY FOR THIS >> I DON'T KNOW.
IS IT GOING TO BE REALLY LOUD? >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S REALLY LOUD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE
GO >> I MEAN, I REALLY CAN'T HEAR YOU.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, PERFECT. "WELL, SHAKE IT UP BABY NOW. >> DID IT END WITH BABY COW?
LLL >> Jimmy: "TWIST AND SHOUT. >> OH, "TWIST AND SHOUT"
>> Jimmy: WOW! [ BELL DINGING ] YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOW, THAT WAS IT >> WOW
HEY, WE'RE REALLY GOOD >> WELL, TO BE FAIR, I GUESSED "BABY COW" FIRST
>> Jimmy: "BABY COW" WAS GOOD TOO. YOU KNOW THAT FAMOUS POP
SONG - >> Jimmy: BABY SH -- OH. >> -- THAT HAS BABY COWS
>> Jimmy: "BABY SHARK" WAS BIG >> IN MY -- BY THE WAY, IN MY SPOTIFY --
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD >> IT'S BIG. >> Jimmy: LET'S WRITE "BABY
COW" AND LET'S MAKE A ZILLION DOLLARS. >> THAT'S GREAT.
>> Jimmy: UM, ALL RIGHT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HERE'S A MICROPHONE FOR YOU.
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: I SHOULD HAVE USED ONE AS WELL.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. I'M GOING TO PUT THIS ON >> DOES IT DO -- WILL IT CHANGE
IT OH HELLO.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OKAY * YOU'RE SO VAIN *
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU STARTED? >> YES >> Jimmy: SORRY.
>> I'M -- THIS IS ME STARTING. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO >> I'M STARTING.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * YOU'RE SO VAIN * >> Jimmy: COURT -- COURT VAY
[ LAUGHTER ] * YOU'RE SO VAIN * >> Jimmy: YOU'RE SO SERIOUS.
>> VAIN. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE -- FACE FACTS FACE FACTS
>> FACE FACTS? NO
* YOU'RE -- * >> Jimmy: YOU -- * SO -- *
>> Jimmy: FACE - NO, "YOU SO -- >> YOU'RE.
>> Jimmy: "YOU'RE SO VAIN. >> YES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
[ BELL DINGING ] >> YES *
* DON'T YOU DON'T YOU DON'T YOU * >> YES
YES. >> Jimmy: YES. >> OKAY, WAIT, I NEED THESE.
>> Jimmy: THAT SONG WAS ABOUT ME LHLH THAT'S HOW VAIN IT WAS.
I WAS CORRECT. IT WAS ABOUT ME. READY?
OH, NO OKAY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] A-B-C-D-E -- >> I KNOW THIS ONE
A-B-C-D-E-F-G. [ BELL DINGING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"ABCDEFU"! >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE -- YOU GOT -- YOU GOT -- >> I GOT BABY --
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT BABY ON THE BRAIN. YOU'RE LIKE, "I LOVE THIS SONG
THE ABCs?" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> THE AMOUNT OF -
THE AMOUNT OF -- >> Jimmy: "THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG
ABCDEFG. >> THE AMOUNT OF PRIDE I FELT FROM KNOWING THE ALPHABET.
SO EMBARRASSING. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE -- >> "I KNOW THIS ONE.
>> Jimmy: -- "I LOVE THIS SONG WE LISTEN TO IT EVERYDAY." >> I LOVE THIS ONE
IT'S MY JAM. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S ALSO "TWINKLE TWINKLE."
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE
GO >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT THIS, BUD.
>> OH, MY GOD. I'M SO EMBARRASSED OKAY
* YOU YOU YOU YOU OUGHTA KNOW *
>> Jimmy: YOU, YOU, YOU -- * OUGHTA KNOW * >> Jimmy: YOU ARE -- YOU, YOU,
YOU ARE A WHAT YOU'RE AN ICICLE * YOU YOU YOU -- *
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * OUGHTA KNOW * >> Jimmy: "HEART AND SOUL"
[ LAUGHTER ] "YOU, YOU, YOU." "HOT 'N COLD?"
* OUGHTA -- * >> Jimmy: DO THAT PART AFTER "YOU, YOU, YOU" --
>> OUGHTA. >> Jimmy: HOTTAY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
[ RIM SHOT ] YOU'RE A HOTTAY. >> YOU, YOU, YOU OUGHTA --
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE A HOTTAY >> OUGHTA. LHLH >> Jimmy: HOT DAD
>> OUGHT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "YOU'RE A HOT DAD.
"YOU, YOU, YOU ARE A HOT --" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YOU OUGHT TO --
>> Jimmy: OUGHT. "YOU OUGHTA KNOW!" [ BELL DINGING ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * ALANIS MORISSETTE.
ALLISON WILLIAMS, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HER MOVIE, "M3GAN" IS IN
THEATERS NOW STICK AROUND WE'RE TALKING TO
JERROD CARMICHAEL, AFTER THE BREAK. COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST WON AN
EMMY FOR HIS CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED HBO SPECIAL, JERROD CARMICHAEL: ROTHANIEL
AND THIS TUESDAY, HE'LL BE HOSTING THE 80th ANNUAL "GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS," WHICH AIRS AT
8:00 P.M. ON NBC AND PEACOCK PLEASE WELCOME, YOUR "GOLDEN GLOBES" HOST,
JERROD CARMICHAEL.
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK >> HELLO, JIMMY.
HELLO, AUDIENCE. HELLO, LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: IT IS GREAT TO - >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AHMIR >> Questlove: THANK YOU.
>> IT'S COMING UP. >> Jimmy: WOW, YOU'RE -- >> YEAH, YEAH, IT'S COMING UP
SOON >> Jimmy: WOW, YOU'RE GOOD AT THAT
>> YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, JUST SAYING THE HELLOS. >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> JUST SAYING THE HELLOS. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU -- ARE YOU
GOOD WITH BIRTHDAYS AND ALL THAT STUFF >> NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO NOT AT ALL >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I MEAN, APPLE HAS SOLVED THAT FOR ALL OF US.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. >> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE
TECHNOLOGY HAS RUINED REMEMBERING ANYTHING >> PUT IT IN THE CALENDAR.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH >> Jimmy: OH, IT SAYS HERE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY >> I DON'T REMEMBER PHONE NUMBERS OR BIRTHDAYS ANYMORE
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU EXCITED -- YOU'RE HOSTING THE 80th ANNUAL "GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S A BIG DEAL. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU EXCITED? >> SO, NO, NO. SO, I WAS VERY EXCITED
>> Jimmy: YES. >> LIKE, VERY, VERY EXCITED. LIKE, I REMEMBER GETTING THE
CALL I WAS AT HOME. I LIVE IN NEW YORK
I WAS ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS. I'M -- I'M DON'T GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS GAY, WHICH MEANS THAT
MY MOM DOESN'T NECESSARILY AGREE WITH, LIKE, MY GAY LIFESTYLE, IN HER WORDS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO -- AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, BUT I
CAN'T GIVE JESUS THAT. LIKE, I KNOW IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY -
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT I JUST CAN'T LET HIM HAVE IT
I CAN'T LET HER HAVE IT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, YOU CAN'T.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE, I JUST, LIKE, YOU KNOW, AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, "JESUS
IS THE REASON FOR YOUR MOTHER'S HOMOPHOBIA." [ LAUGHTER ]
SO - >> Jimmy: I'VE SEEN THAT >> SO, I'M HOME.
>> Jimmy: I'VE SEEN THAT ON BUMPER STICKERS, YEAH. >> I'M HOME.
I'M ALONE. I'M, LIKE, BORED I LIKE TO WORK
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND I GET THE CALL. THEY'RE LIKE, DO YOU WANT TO
HOST THE "GOLDEN GLOBES. AND I SAID, YES. I WAS VERY, VERY EXCITED TO
HOST SO, I WAS LIKE, YEAH, THIS SOUNDS AMAZING
AND I WAS READY TO BEGIN THE PROCESS AND THE WORK AND THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I'LL
HAVE TO BE WORKING WITH MY ARCH NEMESIS, NBC MARKETING [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> OH, HOW I HATE NBC MARKETING.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW. YOU DON'T KNOW
THEY'RE BOTH LAZY AND PUSHY. [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH IS A HELL OF A COMBO
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 'CAUSE YOU - >> LIKE, THEY'RE LIKE, "WE HAVE
NO IDEAS AND WE NEED IT DONE TOMORROW BY 5:00." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE AT NB -- YOU HAD A SHOW YOU - >> NOTHING
THEY HAD NOTHING, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THEY PRESENTED ME -- FIRST
OF ALL, WE HAVE TO DO BILLBOARDS FOR THE SHOW, BECAUSE WE GOT TO TELL PEOPLE
THE SHOW'S HAPPENING >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD >> SO, THEY SEND ME
A BILLBOARD -- >> Jimmy: MM-HM. >> WHICH IS A RECYCLED PICTURE
OF ME, AN OLD PHOTO OF ME FROM "SNL," LIKE WHEN I HOSTED. SMILING.
BIG SMILE. THEY WANT YOU TO SMILE AND THEY HAD A TAGLINE THAT
SAID, "CHANGING IT UP," WITHOUT A "G." 'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW I SPEAK?
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW YOUR BOY IS KNOWN FOR DROPPING THEM "Gs.
THAT'S A BLACK MAN TALKING FOR YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: CHANGIN' IT UP >> CHANGIN' IT UP. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SO, I SAID, OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> AND I SAID, YOU KNOW, WHY ARE WE USING AN OLD PHOTO? YOU'RE A TRILLION DOLLAR
CORPORATION. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> LET'S TAKE A NEW PICTURE.
THEY SAID, FINE. AND THEY SAID, CAN YOU SMILE, YOU KNOW, IN THE NEW PICTURE,
SO WE CAN PUT "CHANGIN' IT UP" BESIDE YOUR FACE AND I SAID, "HOW ABOUT I SCOWL,
AND INSTEAD OF CHANGING IT UP, IT SAYS, "A NIGHT OF DEVASTATION?
[ LAUGHTER ] AND -- >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> THEY SAID -- THEY SAID WHAT ABOUT "AN EVENING OF JOY AND DEVASTATION"
>> AND I SAID, FINE. SO, THEN I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL THEN IT CAME TIME TO DO PROMOS,
BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT TO DO, LIKE, SHOOT THINGS >> Jimmy: COMMERCIALS.
>> COMMERCIALS AND STUFF LIKE THAT FOR THE SHOW. >> Jimmy: SURE
>> SO, THEIR BIG IDEA WAS FOR ME TO, ONCE AGAIN, SMILE AND SAY A BUNCH OF CORNY JOKES INTO
THE CAMERA ABOUT HOW I'M EXCITED TO HOST THE "GOLDEN GLOBES."
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT SEE YOU TUESDAY AT 8:00. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND I SAID, WHAT IF INSTEAD OF THAT, I GET STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN TO YELL AT ME AND,
LIKE, SPIT IN MY FACE AND TELL ME HOW AWARD SHOWS ARE MEANINGLESS, AND HOW HE'S
DISAPPOINTED IN ME FOR DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THEY SAID, "NO, WE DON'T
THINK THAT REPRESENTS THE BRAND OF THE 'GOLDEN GLOBES.'" SO, THEN I SAID, "HOW ABOUT I JUST
DON'T DO THE SHOW? AND THEY SAID, "NO, NO, WE LOVE STONE COLD."
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, THEN -- LOOK, I EVEN HAVE ON -- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
CAN SEE THIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'M A BIG -- THE RATTLESNAKE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S MY DUDE >> YEAH, YEAH. SO, WE GOT STONE COLD.
THEY AGREED TO GET ME STONE COLD THEN STONE COLD'S DAD DIED
I KNOW IT WAS TRAGIC. BUT HE AGREED, BUT IT WAS JUST
TOO MUCH FOR HIM IN THE MOMENT SO, WE DIDN'T HAVE STONE COLD ANYMORE.
SO, THEN IT WAS JUST ME. I SAID, OKAY WELL, FINE
MAYBE I COULD DO SOME JOKES. YOU KNOW, I'M NOT USUALLY THAT TYPE OF COMEDIAN THAT JUST,
LIKE, IS, YOU KNOW, PUNCH LINE HEAVY COMIC. BUT I WAS LIKE, I HAVE A FEW
JOKES THAT I COULD SAY YOU KNOW, I HAVE THIS GREAT ONE ABOUT -- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
REALLY SAY THIS FOR TELEVISION IT WAS ONE ABOUT HOW WHEN I GIVE HEAD, I LOOK LIKE
VIOLA DAVIS IN AN EMOTIONAL SCENE. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IT'S JUST, LIKE, WET THE LIP QUIVERING AND THE WHOLE
THING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> AND THEN THEY SAID, NO, WE DON'T THINK THAT REPRESENTS THE BRAND OF THE "GOLDEN GLOBES.
WHATEVER >> Jimmy: YOU THINK? >> WHATEVER.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> FINE, FINE. SO, THEN, I PITCHED -- I WAS
LIKE, "OKAY. WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS I'LL JUST SPEAK HONESTLY AND
DIRECTLY TO CAMERA AND I'LL TALK ABOUT HOW, LIKE, I KNOW THE GLOBES HAVE GONE THROUGH A
A LOT OF CONTROVERSY THEY DIDN'T AIR LAST YEAR. HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS
ASSOCIATION DIDN'T HAVE ANY BLACK MEMBERS. AND I SAID, HOW ABOUT I JUST
SPEAK, YOU KNOW, TRUTHFULLY, DIRECTLY TO THE CAMERA ABOUT HOW MUCH BLACK APPROVAL MEANS
TO ME AND HOW I HOPE BLACK PEOPLE DON'T BOYCOTT THE SHOW AND WATCH AND, LIKE, GIVE IT A
A CHANCE AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO SPEAK SINCERELY
AND THEY SAID, "OKAY, FINE, YOU CAN DO THAT. BUT COULD YOU SMILE WHILE YOU
SAID THAT? AND I SAID, ABSOLUTELY NOT SO, THEN, THIS IS THE CLIP
>> Jimmy: HERE'S THE PROMO -- HERE'S JERROD CARMICHAEL IN A PROMO FOR THE "GOLDEN GLOBE
AWARDS." LOOK AT THIS
>> MY BIGGEST FEAR IS WHAT WILL BLACK PEOPLE THINK OF ME, BECAUSE BLACK ACCEPTANCE MEANS
A LOT, MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. I FEEL LIKE OPRAH NEVER VIEWED ME AS BLACK EXCELLENCE, AND
THAT KIND OF HAUNTS ME OPRAH AND MY MOTHER, THE LACK OF ACCEPTANCE I RECEIVED FROM
BOTH OF THOSE WOMEN REALLY CAUSES ME A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF PAIN, ESPECIALLY OPRAH
THOUGH [ LAUGHTER ] MY MOTHER TOO, BUT IF WE'RE
BEING HONEST, IT'S MAINLY OPRAH. >> JERROD CARMICHAEL HOSTS THE
"GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS," TUESDAY ON NBC AND STREAMING ON PEACOCK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT IN THE WORLD? DUDE, I THINK EVERYONE'S GOING
TO BE WATCHING BY THE WAY, THIS IS THE -- THIS IS THE PROMO I SAW
THIS PICTURE OF YOU. >> JUST GOT TO LOOK. IT'S GOING TO BE -
- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - - A BIG NIGHT I CAN'T WAIT
BREAK A LEG. THANK YOU FOR COMING ON THE SHOW
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE THE BEST, BUDDY.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH >> Jimmy: JERROD CARMICHAEL, "GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS," THIS
TUESDAY. 8:00 P.M. ON NBC AND PEACOCK JESSIE REYEZ PERFORMS AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "STILL C U" FROM HER NEW ALBUM "YESSIE,"
PLEASE WELCOME JESSIE REYEZ. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA MM * * THE BEST ADVICE I EVER GO
WAS JUST TO LET IT G FAMILY SAYS I SMILE A LO MORE WHEN I'M ON MY OWN *
* BUT WHEN I FINALL FEEL FRE YOU GET THE URGE
TO MESSAGE ME * * SWEAR YOU NEVER MISS A BEA
AND THE SONG IS ON REPEAT * * I STILL SEE YOU IN MY SLEE
HOW COME I STILL SEE YOU WHEN I DREAM * * I BEEN RUNNIN
FROM THE TRUTH BUT IT DON'T MATTER WHAT I D IT NEVER MATTERS WHAT I DO *
* CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU YEAH YEA CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YO
YEAH YEAH * * WHEN YOU GOT A GIRL I GOT MYSELF AN ENEMY *
* 'CAUSE I NEED ALL YOUR ATTENTION LIKE A CENTERPIECE *
* AND THOUGH WE'RE BOTH TRYNA BE FRIENDS THOUGH WE'RE BOT
WAY PAST THE END * * OF EVERYTHING WE COULD HAVE BEEN
MY BROKEN HEAR STILL LETS YOU IN * * I STILL SEE YOU
IN MY SLEE HOW COME I STILL SEE YOU WHEN I DREAM *
* I BEEN RUNNIN FROM THE TRUTH BUT IT DON'T MATTER WHAT I D
NEVER MATTERS WHAT I DO * * I CAN'T GET AWA STILL SEE YOU IN MY SLEE
HOW COME I STILL SEE YOU WHEN I DREAM * * I BEEN RUNNIN
FROM THE TRUTH BUT IT DON'T MATTER WHAT I D NEVER MATTERS WHAT I DO *
* I CAN'T GET AWAY GOOD THING I NEVER HELD MY BREATH * * I WOULD'V
DIED AN EARLY DEAT WAITING FOR YOU TO VALUE ME * * WAITING FOR YOU
TO FAIL MY TEST YEAH F IS FOR FAKING LOVE F IS FOR FORGETTING US *
* F IS FO FEELINGS THAT FADE WHILE YOU -- AROUND *
* AND LEFT ME DOWN DOWN DOW WITH EVERY GIR THAT YOU FOUND FOUND FOUND *
* I'M LIKE MARY GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN YOU'RE LIKE A DO
IN A POUND POUND POUND * * HAD ME LOOKIN LIKE A CLOWN CLOWN CLOWN
GOT ME OUT HER CRYING OUT LOUD * * ESPECIALL
WHEN THE SUN GO DOWN HIT ME WHEN THE SUN GO DOWN *
* I STILL SEE YOU IN MY SLEE HOW COME I STILL SEE YOU
WHEN I DREAM * * I BEEN RUNNIN FROM THE TRUTH BUT
IT DON'T MATTER WHAT I D NEVER MATTERS WHAT I DO * * I CAN'T GET AWAY
STILL SEE YOU IN MY SLEE HOW COME I STILL SEE YOU WHEN I DREAM *
* I BEEN RUNNIN FROM THE TRUTH IT DON'T MATTER WHAT I D
NO MATTER WHAT I DO * * I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YO
YEAH * *
>> Jimmy: JESSIE REYEZ, "YESSIE" IS OUT NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY "YESSIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO ALLISON WILLIAMS,
JERROD CARMICHAEL, JESSIE REYEZ, [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
BYE BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
*