♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle S'
♪ My daddy says I'm a special little guy I'
♪ I am a princess a'
♪ I am a prince I'
♪ Mum says I'm an angel Stepped down from the sky a'
♪ My daddy says I'm his special little soldier a'
-J" No one is as bold or tough as me .I‘ -.|" Tough as me J‘
♪ Has my daddy told you 3
♪ One day when I'm older I
I I can be a soldier S'
Punch you in the face.
♪ Take another picture of our pumpkin From this angle over here S
I know we oughtn't say this But she's clearly cuter than her peers
-a' What a dear A' -4' Honey, look at Mummy a'
♪ Try not to vomit on your brother I'
- Smile for Mummy. - Smile for Mother.
- I think she blinked. - Take another
♪ Have you seen what he can do? a'
♪ Is that unusual for day two? a'
♪ ls smiling early not a sign Of an exceptional IQ? a'
♪ She's just delightful 4'
-a' So intuitive A' -a' So insightful r
♪ Might he be a little brighter Than the norm? a'
♪ I know to say it's frightful form a'
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle S'
J‘ One look at my face And it's plain to see .I"
♪ Ever since the day doc chopped The umbilical cord A'
♪ It's been clear there's no peer For a miracle like me a'
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle S'
♪ That I'm as tiny and as shiny As a mirror ball a'
♪ You can be all cynical But it's a truth empirical a'
♪ There's never been a miracle As factually spectacularly a'
♪ Actually miraculously Fabulous a miracle as me a'
A baby?
I'm not having a baby.
What on earth gives you that idea? I'm not listening to this.
This is quackery.
- But you're about to give birth. - Are you out of your mind?
Mrs Wormwood, you're having a contraction.
I'm not having contractions.
Contractions are for pregnant women...
- Now... - who are having babies!
I'm having a stinking baby!
♪ Every life I bring into this world 4'
♪ Restores my faith in humankind A'
J‘ Oh, whoa .|"
♪ Each new-born life A canvas yet unpainted ♪
♪ Their still-unbroken skin A'
♪ Their uncorrupted mind a'
J‘ Every life is unbelievably unlikely .I"
♪ The chances of existence Almost infinitely small a'
♪ Infinitely small a'
♪ The most common thing in life a'
♪ Is life I
♪ And yet every single life a'
♪ Every new life a'
J‘ Is a miracle .|"
♪ Miracle S'
- What? - A girl.
What, you mean my son is a girl?
I mean that your daughter is a girl.
But the balloons, doctor. I mean, the balloons, they say boy.
Mr Wormwood, your wife has just given birth
to a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl.
She's perfect. This is fantastic news.
♪ Why do bad things always happen to Good people? I
♪ Fine, upstanding citizens like You and me a'
♪ Why, when we've done nothing wrong S'
♪ Should this disaster come along? I
-£' This horrible S -a' Miracle a'
-£' Weird-looking I' -a' Miracle a'
♪ Hairy little stinky feet 4'
♪ With no sign of a winky-dink at all a'
♪ Every life is a miracle I
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle S'
J‘ One look at my face And it's plain to see .I"
♪ Ever since the day doc chopped The umbilical cord A'
♪ It's been clear there's no peer For a miracle like me a'
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle S'
♪ That I'm as tiny and as shiny As a mirror ball a'
♪ You can be all cynical But it's a truth empirical a'
J‘ There's never been a miracle A miracle as miracle as .I"
♪ A miracle as miracle as I'
♪ A miracle as miracle as... A'
♪ My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm 3
♪ My daddy says I'm a bore I'
♪ My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ a'
♪ That kids like me Should be against the law a'
♪ My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole a'
♪ No one likes A smart-mouthed girl like me a'
J‘ Mum says I'm a good case For population control .I"
3 Dad says I should watch more TV I'
Everything all right, Matilda?
Yes, thank you, Mrs Phelps.
- Only it's sort of closing time. - Oh, right.
I could stay while you pack up.
When I say "sort of," I mean an hour ago.
I already have packed up.
You looked so peaceful I didn't wanna disturb you.
But I just know your parents cannot wait to have you back home.
Oh, yeah, they love me home.
Just love me at home.
Oh, no! It's a disaster, Harry! We forgot to send it to school!
He goes to school all the time, didn't you, boy?
I'm a girl. And no, I don't. I've never been to school.
- Where'd you get the books from? - From the library.
- What? They're doing books now? - Oh, you are such an idiot.
Not me. I've got a business to run. It's not my job to look after brats.
I've got enough stress, what with all this debt you've put us in.
That I've put us in?
Yeah. Yeah, you. Don't you get it?
We're trapped in the chains of debt.
And you, you expect me to escape
like I'm some kind of flaming escapologist?
Escapologist, is it?
Well, I have a whole house to run.
- Dinners don't microwave themselves. - Hello?
Who the flaming flip is that?
That's what I was gonna tell you. The school inspector is here.
He's in the dining room with some floozy. What are we gonna do?
Well...
Dr Martin Luther King once said, "A lie cannot live."
Yeah. Yeah, we'll lie our way out of it. Like what that doctor said.
Home-schooling.
Uh, yeah. Yeah. We home-school that one.
It's all the rage these days.
And what with being a businessman and an entrepreneur,
well, then, I understand rage.
(0K3)'-
And what kind of education does she receive here?
Well, I do make-up, and Harry does welding.
Matilda, isn't it?
My name is Miss Honey.
So you've been home-schooled, have you?
We were wondering if you'd like to come to be school-schooled?
We're a few weeks in already, but we've another girl
who's missed the start of term too.
You could just join her.
What's it like?
School-school.
Sometimes it can be... intense.
But I promise you, my class is just fun.
I'll teach you all about history and music and literature and...
Literature?
So books, then?
At school we have loads of books,
full of stories.
And we'll even teach you how to write your own.
How's that sound?
I'd better go.
Once upon a time,
there was a little girl
who was trapped...
I can't believe that. I can't believe that.
How dare they?
- L'm getting fined because of you. - It's not my fault.
You forgot to send me to school.
Well, you're going to school now, and you're gonna meet the Trunchbull.
The Trunchbull?
Agatha Trunchbull, headmistress at Crunchem Hall.
Big, strong, scary woman, she is.
Used to compete in the Olympics. Yeah, throwing the hammer.
And guess what I just did.
I called her and told her
what a nasty little trouble-making goblin you are.
No!
Oh, she is so looking forward to meeting you.
That's not fair.
- That's not right. - That'll teach you.
- Ruining our lives. - Yeah, disgusting little gargoyle.
♪ Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water s'
♪ So they say The subsequent fall was inevitable I'
♪ They never stood a chance They were written that way a'
♪ Innocent victims of their story A'
♪ Like Romeo and Juliet S'
♪ 'Twas written in the stars Before they even met A“
♪ That love and fate And a touch of stupidity A'
♪ Would rob them Of their hope of living happily a'
♪ The endings Are often a little bit gory a'
a' I wonder why They didn't just change their story a'
♪ We're told we have to do what we're told But surely a'
♪ Sometimes you have to be A little bit naughty A'
♪ Just because you find That life's not fair a'
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to Grin and bear it a'
♪ If you always take it on the chin And wear it a'
♪ Nothing will change S'
♪ Even if you're little You can do a lot E
♪ You mustn't let a little thing Like little stop you I'
♪ If you sit around And let them get on top a'
♪ You might as well be saying You think that it's okay S'
♪ And that's not right E
♪ And if it's not right 4'
♪ You have to put it right 3
♪ In the slip of a bolt There's a tiny revolt a'
♪ The seed of a war In the creak of a floorboard X
J‘ A storm can begin With a ﬂap of a wing .|"
♪ The tiniest mite Packs the mightiest sting I
♪ Every day starts With the tick of a clock A'
♪ All escapes start With the click of a lock a'
J‘ If you're stuck in your story And want to get out .I"
♪ You don't have to cry You don't have to shout a'
♪ 'Cause if you're little You can do a lot E
♪ You mustn't let a little thing Like little stop you I'
♪ If you sit around And let them get on top a'
♪ You won't change a thing r
♪ Just because you find That life's not fair a'
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to Grin and bear it a'
♪ If you always take it on the chin And wear it a'
♪ You might as well be saying You think that it's okay S'
♪ And that's not right E
♪ And if it's not right 4'
♪ You have to put it right 3
♪ But nobody else ls gonna put it right for me a'
♪ Nobody but me is gonna change my story S'
♪ Sometimes you have to be A little bit naughty A'
What have you done to my hair?
Why'd you want it green, anyway? Is it a circus thing or...?
What circus thing?
This escapologist you keep going on about, does he have green hair?
There is no escapologist.
And I keep telling you, I didn't do it.
Escapologist. Escapologist.
Once upon a time, there was a great escapologist.
He was so kind, the sort of man any child would love to have as their father.
And one day, he fell in love with... an acrobat.
Matilda?
Hello, Mrs Phelps.
School doesn't start for another hour yet, does it?
Oh, I'm early.
Because of excitement.
Miss Honey's going to teach us to tell stories.
But I think I've got one already.
I can feel it sort of reeling in me, like it's bursting to get out.
Well, I think if it's bursting, you should probably tell it
as soon as possible, don't you?
I'll get us some lemonade.
But it might be a bit intense.
Matilda Wormwood, stories are my business.
I think I'll be fine.
Once upon a time,
the two greatest circus performers in the world,
an escapologist who could escape from any lock ever invented
and an acrobat
who was so skilled it seemed she could actually fly,
fell in love and got married.
Together, they performed the most incredible feats
anyone had ever seen.
People would come from miles around.
Kings, queens, celebrities and astronauts.
But despite their love, despite their fame,
they were sad.
"We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife.
"But not the one thing in the world we want most.
We do not have a child."
"Patience, my love," the husband replied. "Time is on our side."
- Even time loves us." - Even time loves us.
But time is the one thing no one is master of.
And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still, no child.
The sadness of living alone in their big empty house
drew them on to ever more dangerous feats
as work became the only place to escape the inescapable sorrow of their lives.
And so it was they decided to perform
the most dangerous feat ever in the world ever.
It is called...
said the acrobat, announcing the event to the world's press,
who had gathered to listen with bated breath.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects...
Caught By the Man Locked in the Cage.
-And it is the most dangerous feat ever -It is the most dangerous feat ever
- in the world ever. - In the world ever.
It is our destiny.
It is where the loneliness of life has led us.
Well... what happened next?
Uh...
I don't know. Not yet, anyway.
- School's open. I'd better go. - But what about the rest of the story?
- I'll tell you the rest tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
- But I'm over at the lake tomorrow. - The lake. Okay.
Well, have a great day at school. And be careful in there.
Oh, I'm not worried.
If people do scary things to you, you can just do scary things back.
But, Matilda, remember:
- Two wrongs don't make a right. - Unless they do.
In which case you've just made a right out of two wrongs.
Which has gotta be good.
- Is it your first day too? - Yes.
I'm not worried, but I think Isaac might be.
What if we went in together?
Yep. That way, me and Isaac can look after you
if anything, you know...
Oi! New kid.
♪ So you think you're able a'
♪ To survive this mess By being a prince or a princess a'
♪ You will soon see There's no escaping tragedy a'
♪ And even if you put in heaps of effort A'
♪ You're just wasting energy E
♪ 'Cause your life as you know it ls ancient history I'
♪ I have suffered in this jail a'
♪ Have been trapped inside this cage For ages a'
♪ This living hell S
J‘ But if I try, I can remember .I"
J‘ That before my life had ended .I"
♪ Before my happy days were over a'
♪ Before I first heard The pealing of the bell I
♪ Like you, I was curious a'
J‘ So innocent I asked a thousand questions .I"
♪ But unless you want to suffer a'
♪ Listen up and I will teach you A thing or two a'
♪ You listen here, my dear E
♪ You'll be punished so severely If you step out of line A“
♪ And if you cry, it will be double You should stay out of trouble r
♪ And remember to be extremely careful A'
Why?
R Why? r
Why? Did you hear what we said?
♪ Just you wait for phys ed! I
What's phys ed?
Physical education.
The Trunchbull speciality.
Who are you?
We're prefects. We're here to take you to class.
We're going to start learning?
Oh, you'll start learning, all right.
Great. I already know the alphabet.
You don't know the alphabet until we learn you the alphabet.
♪ So you think you're A-ble a'
J‘ To survive this mess by B-ing A prince or a princess .I"
♪ You will soon C There's no escaping trage-D a'
♪ And E-ven If you put in heaps of F-ort I
♪ You're just wasting ener-G I
♪ 'Cause your life as you know it ls H-ent history a'
♪ I Have suffered in this J-ail a'
♪ I've been trapped inside this K-age For ages a'
♪ This living I I'
♪ But if I try, I can rem-M-ber I
♪ Back before my life had N-ded a'
♪ Before my happy days were O-ver ♪
♪ Before I first heard the P-ling Of the bell a'
♪ Like you, I was Q-rious a'
♪ So innocent I R-sked a thousand questions S
♪ But unl-S you want to suffer 4'
♪ Listen up and I will T-ch you A thing or two a'
♪ U listen here, my dear I'
♪ You'll be punished so se-V-rely If you step out of line A“
J‘ And if you cry, it will be W Should stay out of trouble .I"
♪ And remember to be X-tremely careful 4'
Y?
R Why? r
Why? Didn't you hear what we said?
I have become aware
that some of you are not yet in class.
Correct this. You have five seconds to comply.
♪ A-B-C-D-E-F-G ♪
-£' Five E -a' H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P a'
-a' Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X a' -A' Four, three I'
r why? why? why? why? why? why? why? s
- Two. - Lavender, Matilda, inside, quick.
One.
Just you wait for phys ed.
Yes. Miss Trunchbull is keen on punctuality.
Best not to be late. Now come and meet your new friends.
This is Lavender and Matilda.
And if there's anything too difficult, just ask a classmate.
They'll help you. All right?
Miss?
It's hurting my head.
Oh, no, Nigel, that's not for you.
They use this classroom for grown-up lessons at night.
They must have left it up there.
Nigel. Nigel. Nigel.
Relax.
Well done.
Now, who would like to polish off what's on the board?
- Me. - Miss Honey.
Me.
Matilda, how about you?
- So today is reading. - Yes!
Now, this book is actually for 9-year-olds,
but you're all doing so well that I thought we'd give this a try.
I'd like you all to read the first chapter.
Eric, what is a chapter?
It's a chunk of a story, miss.
Absolutely perfect, Eric.
What I'm hoping is that you can all read the first chunk.
Then we'll discuss...
Matilda, what are you doing?
Well, I'm polishing it off, like you said.
Oh, no, I meant polish it off.
- Is that correct? - Well, yeah.
And then I thought I may as well do the rest.
The rest?
You know, the prime numbers. Where X is the square of AB reoccur.
So I realised they must have done it knowing it was part of a sequence.
Is maths your favourite thing?
It's okay, but what I really like is reading.
It's like a holiday in your head.
Do you do that a lot?
Get away from everything, in books, I mean.
Oh, yeah. I've read loads this week.
Loads? In one week?
So which books did you read this week?
Nicholas Nickleby, Jane Eyre,
Tess of the d'Urbervi|les,
Of Mice and Men, The Lord of the Rings,
Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment,
and The Cat in the Hat.
Don't be pathetic.
Enter.
Don't stand there like a wet tissue. Get on with it.
Yes, yes. Sorry.
So, Miss Trunchbull, there is, in my class,
a girl called Matilda Wormwood and...
Matilda Wormwood, daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood.
Excellent man.
He warned me about the brat.
Said she's a real wart.
- No, headmistress, I don't think... - No. No, you do not.
What is the school motto, Miss Honey?
"Children are maggots."
Thank you for bringing this one to my attention.
I shall destroy it in due course. Good day.
Miss Trunchbull, it is my belief that Matilda Wormwood is a genius.
What? No. No.
Haven't I just told you she is a gangster?
But she can do maths in her head that I couldn't do with a calculator.
And the books she's read.
It is my opinion that she should be placed in the top form
with the 11-year-olds immediately.
But what about the rules, Honey?
I believe that Matilda Wormwood is an exception to the rules.
An exception?
To the rules?
In my school?
♪ Look at my trophies I'
♪ See how my trophies gleam In the sunlight a'
♪ See how they shine a'
♪ What do you think it took to become A'
J‘ English hammer-throwing champion 1959? .|"
J‘ Do you think in that moment When my big moment came .I"
♪ That I treated the rules With casual disdain? A'
♪ Well? Like hell S'
♪ As I stepped up to the circle Did I change my plan? s'
♪ What? A'
♪ As I chalked up my palms Did I wave my hands? a'
Hdid not!'
♪ As I started my spin Did I look at the view? A'
♪ Did I drift up and dream For a minute or two? S'
♪ Do you think I faltered Or amended my rotation? a'
♪ Do you think I altered My intended elevation? a'
♪ As the hammer took off a'
♪ Did I change my grunt from the grunt I had practised for many a month? E
♪ Not a jot nor a dot Did I stray from the plot a'
♪ Not a detail of my throw Was adjusted or forgotten I'
J‘ Not even when the hammer left my hands .|"
♪ And sailed high up Up above the stands a'
♪ Did I let myself go? a'
♪ No, no, no I'
♪ No, no, no, no, no I'
wast announcer over PM She's done it! She is the best!
♪ If you want to throw the hammer For your country a'
♪ You have to stay inside the circle All the time a'
♪ If you want to make the team You don't need happiness or self-esteem S
♪ You just need to keep your feet Inside the line S'
Sing, children. Two, three, four.
J' if you want to throw the hammer For your country ♪
♪ You have to stay inside the circle All the time a'
♪ And if you want to teach success You don't use sympathy or tenderness r
♪ Tenderness I'
♪ You have to force the little squits To toe the line X
Sing, Jenny.
♪ If you want to throw the hammer For your country a'
♪ You have to stay inside the circle All the time a'
J‘ I apply just one simple rule .I"
♪ To hammer throwing, life and school a'
J‘ Life's a ball, so learn to throw it .|"
♪ Find the bally line and toe it I'
♪ And always keep your feet Inside the line S'
Now get out.
Wormwood.
Where are you?
Do you want to hear about my first day at school?
Yuck. I'd rather eat vegetables.
It's official. I'm a genius.
My losing streak is over.
This fella comes into the lot.
Huge, he was. Great big bear of a man.
And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.
Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?
No, he's not a real bear.
Do you have a luxury car?
- I've got two, boy. - L'm a girl.
One with a smashed-in front, and one with a smashed-in back.
All I've gotta do is cut them in half, glue them together,
and Bob's your chipmunk.
Daddy's back.
But isn't that illegal and sort of, well, wrong?
What did he say? Wrong? Wrong?
Give me that.
"The Grapes of..." Idiot. How can grapes be angry?
Hey? What utter junk.
- It's not about grapes. - Back-yakking, the little madam.
- |'m not back-yakking. - Don't you back-yak me.
Or I'll rip this book up in front of you.
- No, it's a library book. - Go on, do it.
Go on.
There!
Now get to bed. You little bookworm.
♪ Just because you find That life's not fair a'
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to Grin and bear it a'
♪ If you always take it on the chin And wear it a'
♪ Nothing will change S'
♪ Even if you're little You can do a lot E
♪ You mustn't let a little thing Like little stop you I'
♪ If you sit around And let them get on top a'
♪ You might as well be saying You think that it's okay S'
♪ And that's not right E
But remember, Matilda: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Ah! Twit-face. "|t's a library book. It's a library book."
Gripey little gremlin.
Where's my hat?
Here it is, Dad.
Big stupid.
But how do they all fit in there? Her head's the same size as mine.
Does it hurt, Matilda, having all those brains squished in there?
No, they seem to just fit in.
Can you do telekenipsis?
It's where you have loads of brains,
they squish out through your eyes, and you move things with your mind.
Look. Watch this.
It's not good to try to be clever. Not here.
The Trunchbull hates kids being smart. She hates it.
Isn't learning what school's for?
This isn't school. It's a prison.
You don't wanna get noticed. Not by Agatha.
They say she turned one kid inside out.
He had to walk around in cling film to keep his organs in.
That didn't really happen.
But she definitely sat on a year 7 until he was jelly.
She caught Julius Rotwinkle eating a liquorice all sort in class.
She picked him up, swung him around, and chucked him out the window.
Look, teachers don't really throw children.
The big kids are just trying to scare you.
Scare, is it?
You don't know scare till you've been in the Chokey.
What's Chokey?
♪ There's a place you are sent If you haven't been good a'
♪ And it's made of spikes and wood A'
♪ And it isn't wide enough to sit I'
♪ And even if you could a'
♪ There are nails on the bottom So you'll wish you'd stood a'
♪ When the hinges creak And the door is closed a'
♪ You cannot see squat Not the end of your nose a'
♪ And when you scream You don't know if the sound came out a'
♪ Or if the scream in your head Even reached your mouth S
Hide me! Someone poured a can of treacle on the Trunchbu||'s chair.
She thinks I did, but I never. Her knickers stuck to the seat.
Silence!
You're going to Chokey, kid.
But that's not right. He didn't do anything.
Take it from me, the boy is doomed.
Matilda, please help me.
Why not just tell her that...?
(0K3)'-
Look, when did this happen?
About 20 minutes ago. But why?
You'd better hide. Quick, blazers.
Please don't tell her where I am.
- Run, run! - Move!
Hurry up!
Be still, child!
What a repellent parade of imps and hobgoblins
chitter-chattering away.
Where's the maggot known as Nigel?
Over there under those blazers.
Where he's been for the last hour.
- What? - Yeah.
You see, Nigel suffers from the rare but chronic sleep disorder narcolepsy.
The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of fatigue
and falling asleep without any warning.
He fell asleep, and we put him in the blazers for safety.
Didn't we?
- Yeah. - Yes.
I had the strangest dream, Mum.
I thought I was...
Oh.
Hello, Miss Trunchbull.
Amanda Thripp.
Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
What have I said about...
Pigtails?
I hate pigtails.
But my mummy likes them. She says they make me look pretty.
Well, your mother is a twit.
Mast announcer over PM There she goes. Look at that spin.
Oh, my word!
That's far! That's very... And we're there.
Yes! Still got it.
Check and see if that child is still alive, will you?
And what is your name?
Matilda.
Matilda Wormwood.
Oh!
You're a Wormwood, are you?
I like trouble-makers, Wormwood.
They make such a lovely sound
when they snap.
She's alive!
Remember, Wormwood, you can never win.
I promise you that.
And a promise is a promise is a promise.
And so the great day arrived.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught By the Man Locked in the Cage.
It was like the entire world had gathered to see
the acrobat and the escapo|ogist's incredible death-defying feat.
Everything was arranged by...
the acr0bat's evil stepsister,
a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer thrower.
People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart,
she resented her stepsister's success and love.
Suddenly...
out came the escapologist.
But there was no sign of the acrobat
and no glimpse at all of the shiny white scarf she always wore.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught By the Man Locked in the Cage
has been cancelled.
Cancelled because my wife is...
Pregnant.
[198508] - Oh, Matilda.
Absolute silence.
You could have heard a fly burp.
Then suddenly the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation.
The great feat was instantly forgotten.
And the applause went on for over an hour.
Oh, Matilda, that's wonderful.
I love stories that end happily.
Forgotten by everyone except the acrobat's evil stepsister.
When all had quietened down, she produced a contract.
A contract?
A contract you have signed to perform this feat.
- And perform this feat, you shall! - No.
I've paid for the posters, publicity,
the catering, the toilet facilities.
If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?
A contract is a contract is a contract.
My hands are tied.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught By the Man Locked in the Cage
will be performed, and it will be performed this day,
or off to prison you both shall go!
Well, what happened next?
I don't know.
What? How can you not know?
It just comes to me in fizzes.
Well, could you fizz up a little bit more for me now?
I don't think it works like that.
Of course it doesn't.
Where is this coming from, Matilda?
What do you mean?
I mean, it's incredible, but it's taking rather a dark turn.
- Maybe I shouldn't tell you anymore. - No, no, no.
We must find out how it ends.
All I'm saying is, is everything all right?
- You could tell me. - |'d better go, Mrs Phelps.
Mum's waiting.
She gets so upset when she's away from me.
She says every minute is like an eternity, so...
Is she coming here? Can I meet her?
Bye, Mrs Phelps.
Matilda, tomorrow I'm at the windmill.
Okay. ru find you.
I've got it. Harry! Let me have it.
Hang on.
- Get it off me. - Hold on. Hold on.
- Get it off. - Let me pull, Harry.
Well, pull, then.
Matilda.
I believe your mind is extraordinary,
so I'm taking things into my own hands.
Starting tomorrow, I'm going to bring in a selection of very clever books.
You can sit and read them while I teach the others.
And if you have any questions, well, I shall do my best to answer them.
How's that sound?
Matilda.
That is the biggest hug in the world.
You're going to hug all the air out of me.
What a touching little scene.
Move.
I believe I said this maggot was to receive no special treatment.
In fact, I seem to recall informing you that this particular snotball
was evil incarnate.
Did I not?
No, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is...
Did you just say no, Jenny?
To me?
Matilda Wormwood is a criminal.
This morning, a piece of my private chocolate cake was stolen.
It is my contention that you performed this foulness, Wormwood, you.
You have two choices: admit your guilt and be punished,
or call me a liar and be punished.
Think very carefully
about what comes out of your mouth, Wormwood.
I did not...
Chocolate.
Bruce Bogtrotter.
Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
Thank you, Maurice. That will be all.
Staff dismissed. Come on, everybody out.
Everybody out. Come on.
Move.
You liked my cake...
didn't you, Bruce?
Yes, Miss Trunchbull.
It was very delicious, so chocolatey.
- And I'm really very sorry... - No, don't.
Just so long as you enjoyed the cake. That's the main thing.
Is it?
Oh, Cook.
Move.
Be still.
What's the matter, lost your appetite?
Don't worry. All you have to do is eat every last crumb.
And if you perform this incredible feat, I promise you, all will be forgiven.
Every crumb?
- But I'm full. - Oh, no, you're not full.
I'll tell you when you're full.
And I say that criminals like you aren't full until they've eaten the entire cake.
- But... - You haven't got time for buts. Eat.
- I can't eat it all. - Headmistress, he'll be sick.
He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan
and decided to steal my cake.
- Eat. - He can't.
- Eat. - He surely can't.
- Eat. - He might explode.
Eat!
♪ A single slice Or even two, Bruce I'
J‘ Might have been nice But even you, Bruce .I"
♪ Have to admit Between you and it a'
♪ There's not a lot Of difference in size a'
-£' He can't E -a' He can A'
♪ He surely can't, he surely can't I'
J‘ You are the man, Bruce .I"
-a' He might explode a' -4' He's quite elastic a'
-a' He's going to blow, make him stop I -4' He's fantastic, look at him go a'
♪ I can't watch X
♪ I think in effect This must confirm, Bruce I'
♪ What we all suspected You have a worm, Bruce A'
♪ Or maybe your largeness ls a bit like the TARDIS X
♪ Considerably roomier inside a'
-£' He can't E -a' He can A'
♪ He surely can't, he surely can't I'
J‘ You are the man, Bruce .I"
♪ B-R-O-O-C-E ♪
♪ Bruce! X
♪ You'll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose S'
♪ She'll call a truce, Bruce a'
♪ With every swallow You are tightening the noose a'
♪ We never thought it was possible I'
♪ But here it is coming true S'
♪ We can have our cake and eat it too a'
♪ The time has come To put that tumbly tum to use a'
♪ No excuse, Bruce a'
♪ Let out your belt I think you'll want your trousers loose a'
-S' Oh, stuff it in a' -4' Bruce S'
-S' You've almost finished A' -S' Bruce S'
♪ You'll fit it in Whatever you do, just don't give in I
-£' Bruce I' -a' Don't let her win a'
♪ Come on, Bruce, be our hero a'
♪ Cover yourself In chocolate glory, Bruce! I'
♪ You'll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose S'
♪ She'll call a truce, Bruce a'
♪ Just one more bite and you'll have Completely cooked her goose I
♪ We never thought it was possible I'
♪ But here it is coming true S'
♪ We can have our cake and eat it X
Go on, Brucie!
Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. I... got carried away.
Oh, that's okay, Jenny. We all get carried away sometimes.
Even me.
- Well, come along, Bogtrotter. - What?
Oh, did I not mention? That was the first part of your punishment.
There's more. There's a second part. And the second part is Chokey.
Miss Trunchbull, please. You can't. He's too young.
But I ate it all. I did it. Please, not that. Please.
No! You said if he ate every crumb, he'd be forgiven.
He ate every crumb. We all saw it.
He did it in front of everyone.
You can't just change the rules.
That's not right. It's cheating.
You just said... no.
To me.
- Come on, Bogtrotter. - Please!
- Come on. - No!
Wormwood will be dealt with in due course, as will the rest of the maggots.
Please, I ate it all!
No, please, Miss Trunchbull!
Not the Choke}.!
No! Please!
Not the Chokey, please, not the Chokey!
You see, children, I will always win,
and you will always lose because you are weak,
tiny, titchy and insignificant.
♪ When I grow up r
♪ I will be tall enough To reach the branches a'
♪ That I need to reach To climb the trees I'
♪ You get to climb when you're grown up a'
♪ And when I grow up S'
4' I will be smart enough To answer all the questions a'
♪ That you need to know the answers to S'
♪ Before you're grown up A'
♪ And when I grow up S'
♪ I will eat sweets every day On the way to work a'
♪ And I will go to bed late every night a'
♪ And I will wake up When the sun comes up a'
J‘ And I will watch cartoons Until my eyes go square .I"
♪ And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up a'
♪ When I grow up r
♪ When I grow up When I grow up A“
♪ I will be strong enough To carry all the heavy things a'
♪ You have to haul around with you a'
♪ When you're a grown-up S
♪ When I grow up When I grow up A“
♪ When I grow up r
♪ I will be brave enough To fight the creatures A“
♪ That you have to fight Beneath the bed each night a'
♪ To be a grown-up r
♪ And when I grow up S'
3 I will have treats every day I'
♪ And I'll play with things That Mum pretends s'
♪ That mums don't think are fun A'
♪ And I will wake up When the sun comes up a'
♪ And I will spend all day Just lying in the sun a'
J‘ And I won't burn .I"
♪ 'Cause I'll be all grown up A'
♪ When I grow up r
♪ I will be brave enough To fight the creatures A“
♪ That you have to fight Beneath the bed each night a'
♪ To be a grown-up r
♪ When I grow up r
♪ Just because you find That life's not fair a'
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to Grin and bear it a'
♪ If you always take it on the chin And wear it a'
♪ Nothing will change S'
J“ When I grow up ♪
J‘ Just because I find myself in this story .|"
♪ It doesn't mean that everything ls written for me a'
♪ If I think the ending is fixed already a'
♪ I might as well be saying I think that it's okay a'
Mrs Phelps? Where's the revenge section?
Well, we don't have a revenge section.
Is it a bully?
Because, you know, the best way to deal with bullies
is tell someone, straightaway.
They thrive on silence.
Tell a teacher, or better still, the headmistress.
I think I've got the next part of the story.
But I shall warn you,
it's about to get real.
Slowly, the acrobat tied her shiny white scarf
around her husband's wrist.
For luck, my love.
Then she hugged him with the biggest hug in the world,
so hard that he thought that she could hug all the air out of him.
And so they prepared themselves
for the most dangerous feat that had ever been performed.
The great escapologist had to somehow escape from the padlocks,
break free from the cage,
and attempt to rescue his wife within 12 seconds,
or she would be blown to bits.
The moment the fuse was lit, the acrobat swung into the air.
One second, two seconds.
The crowd held their breath as she swung higher and higher
above the sharks and spiky objects.
Three seconds, four seconds.
The evil sister looked on gleefully.
Five seconds, six seconds.
The escapologist couldn't take his eyes from his wife
as he struggled in his chains,
knowing that the tiniest, weeniest mistake would mean that he'd lose her
and their child forever.
Seven seconds. And suddenly...
she let go!
The escapologist reached out with one huge, muscled arm
to catch his wife and the child.
- Eight seconds. - No, I can't look.
Nine seconds, ten seconds.
And... And...
And... 11 seconds.
He grabbed the dynamite and flung it far, far away.
Hooray!
So this story does have a happy ending after all.
No.
No, it doesn't.
No. Was she okay? Did she survive?
She broke every bone in her body
except the ones at the ends of her little fingers.
She did manage to live long enough to have their child.
But the effort was too great.
Love our girl.
Love our daughter with all your heart.
She is all we ever wanted.
And then she died.
And then...
things got worse.
What? Worse?
I'm afraid they did.
'Cause the escapologist was so kind
that he never for one second blamed the evil stepsister for what happened.
In fact, he asked her to move in and help look after his daughter.
No, no, don't ask her to move in.
She was nothing but cruel to the little girl,
making her wash and clean all daylong,
shouting, "Clean the floor and I'll be nice!"
When the little girl did clean it, she was even crueller
'cause she was a terrible, terrible cheat!
I hate cheats.
All in secret, so the escapologist never suspected a thing.
And so the poor little girl grew up
with the meanest, cruellest, horriblest aunt
you could possibly imagine!
Let's call the police.
Mrs Phelps.
- It's just a story. - What?
Oh.
Yes, of course.
A story.
It's just, you make it so real.
Your mind, Matilda.
Your parents must think they've won the lottery with a child like you.
Oh, they do.
They're always saying that.
In fact, they say,
"We're so proud of you, Matilda, you're like winning the..."
Yeah. I'd better go.
It's just like winning the lottery.
What?
Me?
You? No, you're like eating someone else's bogeys.
Like winning a "snottery," you, boy.
I'm a girl.
But how, Harry?
Remember that muscly idiot?
Turns out he had a whole lot of muscly mates.
Bucketloads of cash. Everyone wanting a luxury car.
All I had was a load of old bangers,
each with a hundred thousand miles on the clock.
So I did what any decent business leader would.
- What? - I bought a drill,
attached it to the speedometer, and whacked it in reverse.
I put back the mileage on every one of those cars
and sold them to those big muscly idiots,
resulting in...?
Money!
You cheated them!
Excuse me?
You cheated them. What you did, it wasn't right.
You're just a cheat.
Oh! Little pig.
It's the books, Harry. It's the books and the stories.
Is it, now? Books, is it?
You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow?
I'm gonna go down to that library
and I'll tell that old bag to never let you in again.
- What? - Always sticking your nose in
where it don't belong.
You nasty little creep!
At night, the escapo|ogist's daughter cried herself to sleep.
She never said a word about the evil step-aunt's bullying.
She didn't want to add to her father's pain.
This only encouraged the woman to greater cruelties,
until one day, she exploded.
"Sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong!"
- You nasty little creep! - "...creep!"
And she threw her,
threw her into a dank, dark, dusty cellar,
locked the door, and went out.
But that night, the escapologist happened to come home early.
And when he heard the sound of his daughter's tears,
he smashed the door open.
♪ Don't cry E
♪ I am here, little girl I'
♪ Please don't cry E
3 Dry your eyes I'
♪ Wipe away your tears, little girl a'
♪ Forgive me S
3 I didn't mean to desert you a'
♪ Don't cry, little girl E
♪ Nothing can hurt you S'
J‘ You've nothing to fear .I"
♪ I'm here S'
I was so wrapped up in my grief
that I'd forgotten the thing that matters most.
I love you so much, my daughter.
I shall spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
♪ Don't cry, Daddy I'
♪ I'm all right, Daddy a'
♪ Please don't cry E
♪ Here, let me wipe away your tears A'
-J" Forgive me .|" -J" Daddy, forgive me .I"
-a' I didn't mean to desert you 4' -4' I didn't want to upset you a'
-a' Please, Daddy, don't cry I' -a' Don't cry, little girl I'
-a' I'll be all right with you by my side a' -4' Nothing will hurt you A'
-a' I have nothing to fear a' -a' You've nothing to fear a'
-£' You're here S' -a' I'm here a'
But when the little girl slept,
the escapologisfs thoughts turned to the evil stepsister,
and a mighty rage grew inside his great heart.
This demon! This monster! Bullying children is her game, is it?
And as the unfairness of the aunt's cruelty spun around inside him,
it swirled and whirled into a great storm of fury
that his mind could no longer contain.
And that was the last the little girl ever saw of him,
because he never came home ever again.
Can you do te/ekenipsis?
It's where you have loads of brains,
they squish out through your eyes, and you move things with your mind.
Matilda, this is for you.
Thank you.
Matilda. Here you are.
There she is.
Isn't it a splendid day, old pal?
- Lavender, what is going on? - You. You're a hero.
Here, Matilda.
Egg and cress, Stephanie? Really?
- A hero? - Yeah.
- For leading the revolution. - What revolution?
You said no to the Trunchbull. See? No one's done that before.
For leading the revolution. You said no to the Trunchbull.
No one's done that before.
- Ready for a little fun? - Yeah!
Fun?
Did you say "fun"?
It is not our job to make things fun.
We are not here to encourage or nurture.
We are here to crush them until the wriggling stops.
Well, I don't actually believe that...
Do you, Jenny? Do you think anyone cares?
This class is full of rebels,
and they need a real lesson.
Bring your gym gear and change on the way.
You see, Jenny, to teach the child, we must first break the child.
♪ This school of late has started reeking Quiet, maggot, when I'm speaking I'
♪ Reeking with a most disturbing scent I'
♪ Only the finest nostrils smell it But I know it oh too well I
♪ It is the odour of rebellion It's the bouquet of dissent S
♪ And you may bet your britches This headmistress a'
♪ Finds this foul odoriferousness Wholly olfactorily insulting a'
♪ And so to stop the stench's spread I'
J‘ I find a session of phys ed .I"
♪ Sorts the merely rank From the revolting a'
Come along, squits.
I'll take it from here, Jenny.
♪ The smell of rebellion Comes out in the sweat I'
♪ And phys ed will get you sweating I'
♪ And it won't be long Before I smell the pong a'
♪ Of aiding and abetting a'
♪ Before a weed Becomes too big and greedy a'
♪ You really need To nip it in the bud a'
♪ Before the worm starts to turn You must scrape off the dirt a'
♪ And rip it from the mud! a'
J‘ A whiff of insurgence The stench of intent .I"
J‘ The reek of prepubescent protest .|"
♪ A pong of defiance The odour of coup I'
♪ The waft of anarchy in progress A'
♪ Once we've exercised these demons They shall be too pooped for scheming S
J‘ Some double-time discipline .I"
J‘ Should stop the rot from setting in .|"
♪ Discipline, discipline For children who aren't listening a'
♪ For piglets who are fidgeting Or whispering in history I'
♪ Their chattering and chittering Their nattering and twittering a'
♪ is tempered with a smattering Of discipline a'
♪ We must begin insisting On rigidity and discipline a'
♪ Persistently resisting This anarchistic mischieving a'
♪ These minutes you are frittering On pandering and pitying r
♪ While little ones like this They just need discipline a'
♪ The simpering and whimpering Dribbling and squiggling a'
♪ The "Miss, I need a tissue" It's an issue we can fix A'
♪ There is no mystery to mastering The art of classroom mistressing a'
♪ It's discipline Discipline, discipline! a'
J‘ The smell of rebellion The stench of revolt .I"
♪ The reek of prepubescent plotting A'
♪ A whiff of resistance The pong of dissent a'
♪ The stink of moral fibre rotting a'
What a champion! Agatha Trunchbull has done it again!
What an athlete! What a winner!
♪ Imagine a world with no children I'
♪ Close your eyes and just dream A'
♪ Imagine Go on, try it I
3 The peace and the quiet I'
3 A burbling stream I'
-J" Now imagine a woods with a cottage J‘ -.|" Cottage .I"
♪ And inside that cottage we find I
♪ A parrot called Zeek A carnival freak a'
♪ Who can fold paper hats with his mind a'
♪ And he says a'
♪ Don't let them steal your horses' ♪
♪ Don't let them take them away a'
♪ If you find your way through a'
♪ They'll be waiting for you, singing A'
♪ Neigh, neigh I'
She's mad.
A-ha!
♪ And there, just like I said a'
♪ The stinking maggot rears his head I'
♪ Have you ever seen Anything more repellent? a'
♪ Have you ever smelt anything Worse than that smell of rebellion? I'
J‘ The scent of revolt .I"
♪ The reek of insubordination a'
♪ A whiff of resistance The pong of dissent a'
♪ And I will not stop Till you are squashed A'
♪ Till this rebellion is quashed I'
J‘ Till glorious, sweaty discipline Has washed .|"
♪ This sickening stench I'
♪ Away! I'
Right. Let's get you out.
This isn't teaching.
This is cruelty.
Cruelty? Well, yes, of course.
Go on, boy.
You did say it was going to be fun.
But this isn't fun.
Miss Honey, you are pathetic.
You are weak.
You are wet.
You are, in fact...
a snivelling little...
Newt.
You.
No! What? Me? No!
No, ldidn't! I didn't know!
You'll pull his ears off.
I have discovered, Miss Honey, through years of experimentation
that the ears of small boys do not come off.
They stretch.
Please!
Leave him alone!
You stupid, horrible bully!
How dare you?
You are not fit to be in this school.
You are evil.
I shall crush you. I shall pound you.
I shall dissect you, madam.
♪ Have you ever wondered Well, I have I'
4' About how when I say, say, "red" For example a'
♪ There's no way of knowing if "red" Means the same thing in your head S
♪ As "red" means in my head When someone says "red"? a'
♪ And how if we are travelling At almost the speed of light S
♪ And we're holding a light I'
♪ That light would still travel Away from us a'
♪ At the full speed of light? a'
♪ Which seems right in a way But I'm trying to say a'
♪ I'm not sure But I wonder if inside my head I
♪ I'm not just a bit different From some of my friends I'
♪ These answers that come Into my mind unbidden A“
♪ These stories delivered to me Fully written a'
J‘ And when everyone shouts Like they seem to like shouting .I"
♪ The noise in my head ls incredibly loud a'
♪ And I just wish they'd stop My dad and my mum a'
♪ And the telly and stories Would stop for just once a'
♪ And I'm sorry I'm not quite explaining it right I
♪ But this noise becomes anger And the anger is light a'
♪ And this burning inside me Would usually fade A'
♪ But it isn't today And the heat and the shouting a'
4' And my heart is pounding And my eyes are burning I
♪ And suddenly everything, everything is E
♪ Quiet a'
♪ Like silence but not really silent I'
♪ Just that still sort of quiet a'
♪ Like the sound Of a page being turned in a book a'
♪ Or a pause in a walk in the woods a'
♪ Quiet a'
♪ Like silence but not really silent I'
♪ Just that nice kind of quiet A'
♪ Like the sound When you lie upside down in your bed a'
♪ Just the sound of your heart In your head a'
♪ And though the people around me A'
♪ Their mouths are still moving E
♪ The words they are forming I
♪ Cannot reach me anymore a'
♪ And it is quiet E
♪ And I am warm a'
♪ Like I've sailed 3
You revolting little bloodworm. You are...
♪ Into the eye of the storm a'
This is the end of your rebellion.
You have leapt through the gates of Hades. Do you hear? I shall tear you apart.
Who did that?
Are you all right, Miss Trunchbull?
Oh.
I've got a newt!
It's in... |t's... It's in my...
It's in my knickers.
It's in my knickers!
I've got a newt in my knickers!
Okay. That was odd.
Right. Everyone back to class.
And please, please keep your heads down for the rest of the day.
- Matilda. - I need to show you something.
Watch, Miss Honey.
Matilda, if Miss Trunchbull sees...
Just watch. Please.
- I think we should go before... - Wait.
I moved it with my eyes.
Am I strange?
How do you fancy a nice cup of tea?
Oh, no, no, no. Not that way. This way.
What do you think it is? This thing with my eyes.
Well, What did it feel like?
Felt like fizzing.
Fizzing?
But not bad fizzing, good fizzing.
Good fizzing.
Okay, let's see.
I'm no expert,
because I'm not sure there are experts in fizzing,
but I think it has something to do with that incredible mind of yours.
You mean there's no room in my head for all my brains,
so they have to squish out through my eyes?
Well, yes. Yes, that's exactly what I mean.
Well, here we are.
Where are we?
Wow.
They pay teachers really badly.
Well, actually, yes, they do.
But I'm poorer even than most.
You see, my father died when I was young.
Magnus was his name.
He was so kind.
But when he was gone,
my aunt became my legal guardian.
And she was cruel and mean
like you can't even imagine.
Then when I became a teacher,
she presented me with a bill.
She'd written everything down, every tea bag,
every gas bill, every tin of beans.
She made me sign a contract to pay her back every single penny.
Really?
She even produced a document that said my father gave her his house.
But did he really do that, Magnus?
Did he just give her his house?
Well, I've always felt it was suspicious.
You see, she said his death was an accident, but...
You think she did him in?
Well, I cannot say for sure.
All I really know is that
years of being bullied by that woman made me, well...
pathetic.
Then one day, I came across this old shed.
I fell in love with it.
I begged the farmer who owned it to let me move in.
He thought I was mad,
but he said yes, and...
And that's why you live here.
♪ This roof keeps me dry When the rain falls a'
♪ This door helps to keep cold at bay A'
♪ On this floor, I can stand On my own two feet a'
♪ On this chair, I can write my lessons a'
♪ On this pillow I can dream my nights away r
♪ And this table, as you can see S
♪ Well, it's perfect for tea a'
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough for me A'
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough S'
But, Miss Honey, she's got your father's house.
She's got everything that's yours.
♪ On these walls I hang wonderful pictures a'
♪ Through this window I can watch the seasons change a'
♪ By this lamp, I can read I'
♪ And I, I am set free I'
♪ And when it's cold outside I feel no fear a'
♪ Even in the winter storms S'
♪ I am warmed By a small but stubborn fire I
♪ And there is nowhere I would rather be S'
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough for me A'
♪ For this is my house I'
♪ This is my house E
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough for me A'
♪ This is my house E
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough S'
-£' Don't cry I' -a' And when it's cold and bleak A'
-£' Please don't cry I' -a' I feel no fear A'
♪ I'm here, little girl S'
-a' Even in the fiercest storms A' -4' Please don't cry a'
-a' I am warmed a' -4' Let me wipe a'
-J" By a small but stubborn ﬁre .I" -J" Away your tears J‘
-.|" Forgive me .|" -J" Even when outside it's freezing J‘
3 I didn't mean to desert you a'
♪ I don't pay much heed S
-a' I know that I hurt you a' -4' I know that everything I need I'
♪ ls in here X
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough S'
♪ For me E
J‘ It isn't much .|"
♪ But it is enough S'
♪ For me E
Where did you get this scarf?
Oh, it was my father's.
My mum gave it to him before she died.
- She was an... - An acrobat.
Uh, well, yes, she was. She...
How did you...?
- And my father was an escap... - An escapologist.
Matilda, how do you know that?
So they were your parents?
What? Who?
The people in my story.
I thought I was making it up, but it's real.
It's you. It's your life.
Miss Honey, who's your aunt?
Well, actually, Matilda,
she's my step-aunt.
Miss Trunchbull.
A contract is a contract is a contract.
Matilda.
Matilda, listen to me. You must forget all this.
You need to be very careful.
Miss Trunchbull has been humiliated, and she's capable of awful things.
I'm not scared of her.
You should be. She's dangerous.
So am I.
Rich, he said.
Bags, he said.
- "|'m a genius," he said. - What's going on?
Pack your bag. We're off to Spain.
Spain? Why?
Remember those big stupid muscly men
your idiot of a father sold them old bangers to?
- Come on, love. - Turns out they was the flaming Mafia!
And not so stupid after all.
They gave me 24 hours to get them the money back.
Only somebody already spent it.
I'm getting some passports tomorrow, so I'll pick you up from school.
What about Mrs Phelps?
Lavender? Nigel? Amanda?
- What about Miss Honey? - Forget them!
After tomorrow, you're never gonna see them again.
Yesterday an act of vandalism took place in the woods.
Now you see the consequences.
You break my toys, I break yours.
Miss Honey's class, canteen now.
Come along, children. It'll be fine.
Children...
how can I be your headmistress
if I cannot chill you to the bone?
If the small ones don't pee just a little when I walk into the room,
well, then I'm... failing as an educator.
So...
today we are going to have a spelling test.
And any child who gets one single answer wrong
goes to Chokey.
You can't do that!
On. really? Why?
Because of yesterday's little...
incident, you mean?
Well, here's the surprise Chokey.
[49112;]
Spell... Oh, let me see.
"newt."
N-E-W-T. Newt.
What? How do you know that?
Miss Honey taught us. She's very good at teaching.
Nonsense.
Miss Honey is far too soft and peachy
to be good at anything.
YOU!
Spell the one thing you all are.
Spell "revolting."
Revolting. R-E-V-O-L-T...
I-N-G. Revolting.
You're cheating, Pigtails.
She's not cheating. She's simply spelling the word.
I just taught them with kindness and patience and respect.
How dare you bring those words into my classroom?
You, snot-nose.
Stand and spell
"amche|lakamanialseptricolistimosis."
- But that's not even a word. - Spell it or go to Chokey.
And I should warn you, it has silent letters.
A-M...
C-H...
E-L...
L-A...
Oh, dear.
K...
I'm so sorry. It was a silent V.
You're going to Chokey!
Cat. C-A-F. Cat.
I got it wrong, miss. You have to put me in Chokey too.
- What? - Dog. D-Y-P. Dog. And me.
Table. X-A-B-F-Y. And me.
Can't put us all in Chokey. Banana. G-K-A-I-P...
Stop this!
- Q-O-C... - R-E...
- |... - K-L-O...
A-B-F...
I've been busy.
A Chokey for each and every one of you.
And now our little test is over.
I can tell you that each and every one of you has failed.
You see, there are winners and losers in this world, children.
And I am a...
The chalk! Look! The chalk!
"Agatha, this is Magnus.
Give my Jenny back
her house."
Who's doing it? Who? Tell me now.
No one's doing it. It's a ghost.
- "Then leave." - No.
"Or I will get you
like you got me!"
You think me an idiot?
It's a cheap trick. Just like Magnus used to do!
You can't hurt me. I hurt you.
No!
No.
It can't be Magnus, it can't!
No!
Look. Matilda.
You see? I'm not going anywhere!
Oh, no. Stop!
I say, what are you doing to my hair?
Pigtails!
No. No!
I hate pigtails!
Put me down!
Stop it now! I'm ordering you!
Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!
It's over.
This is my school now.
Run.
♪ Whoa, oh! S'
♪ Never again Will she get the best of me a'
♪ Never again Will she take away my freedom a'
♪ And we won't forget the day we fought a'
♪ For the right To be a little bit naughty a'
J‘ Never again will the Choke y door slam .I"
♪ Never again will I be bullied S'
♪ And never again will I doubt it When my mummy says I'm a miracle a'
♪ Never again will we live behind bars E
♪ Never again now that we know we are E
♪ Revolting children Living in revolting times I'
♪ We sing revolting songs Using revolting rhymes s'
4' We'll be revolting children Till our rev0lting's done I'
♪ And we'll have the Trunchbull bolting We're revolting a'
♪ We are revolting children Living in revolting times I'
♪ We sing revolting songs Using revolting rhymes s'
4' We'll be revolting children Till our rev0lting's done I'
♪ And we'll have the Trunchbull bolting We're revolting a'
J‘ We will become a screaming horde! .|"
♪ Take out your hockey stick And use it as a sword! a'
♪ Never again will we be ignored S'
♪ We'll find out Where the chalk is stored a'
♪ And draw rude pictures on the board S'
♪ It's not insulting I'
♪ We're revolting! S'
♪ We can S-P-L how we like a'
♪ If enough of us are wrong Wrong is right E
♪ Everyone, N-O-R-T-Y a'
♪ 'Cause we're a little bit naughty 4'
♪ You say we ought to stay inside the line But if we disobey, at the same time a'
♪ There is nothing That the Trunchbull can do a'
♪ She can take her hammer and S-H-U a'
♪ You might've thought we were weak But we're strong a'
♪ Might've thought we would break But you're wrong A'
J‘ Because you ﬁnally pushed us too far .I"
♪ Now there's no going back 'Cause we are a'
-a' R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N a' -4' Revolting times I'
-a' We'll S-I-N-G a' -4' Songs! E
-a' U-S-I-N-G a' -4' Rhymes I'
♪ We'll be R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N-G A'
♪ It is 2-L-8-4-U We are revolting a'
♪ We are revolting children Living in revolting times I'
♪ We sing revolting songs Using revolting rhymes s'
4' We'll be revolting children Till our rev0lting's done I'
♪ It is 2-L-8-4-U, 4-U, 4-U, 4-U, 4-U A'
♪ We are revolting children Living in revolting times I'
♪ We sing revolting songs Using revolting rhymes s'
4' We'll be revolting children Till our rev0lting's done I'
♪ It is 2-L-8-4-U We are revolting! a'
Come on. We've gotta go, boy. We're gonna be late.
She's a... Sorry. Go?
Spain. We're moving there.
We've got a plane to catch in 40 minutes. Oi!
Say your goodbyes now.
No, Matilda, you can't.
- You can't leave us. - No, Matilda.
It's not up to me.
Thank you.
Come on.
Chop-flaming-chop.
- Right. In you go. - Where do I go?
It can go in the back, Harry. It's got them clingy fingers.
You can't just stick him in the back.
Let Matilda stay here with me.
Mr Wormwood, I would love to take Matilda.
I beg your pardon?
If she'd like to stay with me, that is.
I would look after her with love and respect and care and...
I'd pay for everything.
Would you like that, Matilda?
- Hang on. - Harry!
You want us to leave our daughter here with you?
- What did you just call me? - We are going to miss the plane.
Did you just call me your daughter?
If that's what she wants.
Well? Is that what you want?
You wanna stay here with Miss Honey?
Yes.
Yes, |... Yes, I do.
And you wanna look after her?
|do, yes.
We are a bit short of room.
Yeah. Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Harry!
Please.
She did it.
Lovely. Right.
♪ I was sure that I I'
♪ Would never escape the story I'd had written for me a'
♪ I couldn't find a way out a'
♪ I couldn't see beyond the clouds I'
♪ That swirled around me X
♪ Then one day I opened my eyes A'
♪ And looked up to find that the sky a'
♪ Had turned blindingly blue S'
J‘ And right by my side there was you .|"
♪ Quietly taking your stand a'
♪ And you were holding my hand a'
♪ I believed that I X
-a' I believed that I I' -4' Would never be able to rely a'
-a' Would never find anybody else a' -4' On anybody else S
Magnus. Give my Jenny back her house.
♪ And I was sure that I S'
-a' I was sure that I a' -4' Would just have to learn to survive s'
-a' Would always be all by myself a' -a' All by myself a'
-J" And one day I opened my eyes .I" -J" One day I opened my eyes J‘
♪ And looked up to find that the sky a'
-a' Had turned blindingly blue a' -4' Blindingly blue I
-a' And right by my side there was you a' -a' And right by my side there was you a'
-a' Quietly taking a stand a' -a' Quietly taking a stand a'
♪ And you were holding my hand a'
3 You were holding my hand I'
-a' You were just there for me a' -a' You were just there for me a'
-a' Quietly taking a stand a' -a' Quietly taking a stand a'
-a' Changing the end of my story for me a' -a' Changing the end of my story for me a'
♪ You were there as I battled my fears a'
♪ I fell and you helped me to stand A'
-S' When the storm finally cleared a' -I' You were there S'
♪ You were still holding my hand I'
-S' You kicked down the doors for me a' -4' Kicked down the doors for me I
-a' You helped me understand 4' -4' You helped me understand a'
♪ There was another version of me a'
♪ You were still holding my hand I'
-a' You were just there for me a' -a' I only wish S
♪ Quietly taking a stand A'
♪ Changing the end of my story for me A'
♪ You were still holding my hand I'
♪ You were just there for me I
♪ Quietly taking a stand A'
♪ Changing the end of my story for me A'
-a' You were still holding a' -4' You were still holding a'
-a' My hand 4' -a' My hand A'
♪ When I grow up r
♪ I will be tall enough To reach the branches a'
♪ That I need to reach To climb the trees I'
♪ You get to climb when you're grown up a'
♪ And when I grow up S'
♪ When I grow up r
J‘ I will be smart enough to answer All the questions that you need to know .|"
♪ The answers to before you're grown up 4'
♪ And when I grow up S'
♪ When I grow up r
3 I will have treats every day I'
♪ And I'll play with things That mums pretend A'
♪ That mums don't think are fun A'
♪ And I will wake up When the sun comes up a'
♪ And I will spend the day Just lying in the sun a'
♪ And I won't care S'
♪ And I won't burn 'Cause I'll be all grown up a'
3 I will have treats every day I'
♪ And I'll play with things That mums pretend A'
♪ That mums don't think are fun A'
♪ And I will wake up When the sun comes up a'
♪ And I will spend the day Just lying in the sun a'
♪ 'Cause I won't care a'
♪ 'Cause I'll be all grown up A'
♪ When I grow up r