1
00:00:06,242 --> 00:00:08,479
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:53,421
Hello, Sedona!
3
00:00:54,327 --> 00:00:55,726
Hello.
4
00:00:56,562 --> 00:00:57,773
Oh, my God.
5
00:00:57,798 --> 00:00:59,638
The sunsets out here.
6
00:01:00,985 --> 00:01:03,554
Oh, are they gorgeous or what?
7
00:01:04,351 --> 00:01:06,632
Okay, let's get to it.
8
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,132
This evening, we're going to start
9
00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:11,140
with what we know is real.
10
00:01:11,585 --> 00:01:13,344
The present.
11
00:01:13,369 --> 00:01:15,070
The now.
12
00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:16,890
I want you to take a deep breath
13
00:01:16,915 --> 00:01:18,171
and say to yourself,
14
00:01:18,403 --> 00:01:22,187
"I am in the now."
15
00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:24,030
Do it.
16
00:01:24,182 --> 00:01:25,835
Let's say it together.
17
00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:28,664
- I am in the now.
- I am in
18
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,882
- the now.
- Good.
19
00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,929
That's how I start every morning.
20
00:01:32,954 --> 00:01:36,695
I look in the mirror.
I say hi to myself.
21
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,648
You do it. Say hi to yourself.
22
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:42,039
- Hi.
- This is your best friend.
23
00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:43,453
I touch the mirror.
24
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,265
Yes, I touch myself.
25
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:47,619
Yeah.
26
00:01:47,644 --> 00:01:48,937
I tell myself,
27
00:01:49,124 --> 00:01:52,507
"You are my number one priority."
28
00:01:52,532 --> 00:01:54,390
You do it. Tell yourself,
29
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,061
"You are my number one priority."
30
00:01:56,086 --> 00:01:58,609
You are my number one priority.
31
00:01:58,634 --> 00:01:59,802
"I love you."
32
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,496
Do it. Say it.
33
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,976
- Say to yourself, "I love you."
- Uh...
34
00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,257
Oh, shit.
35
00:02:05,282 --> 00:02:07,973
- Oh! Oh, God. Sorry.
- Mom!
36
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:09,460
How did you get in here?
37
00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:12,054
Well, I've got a key, honey.
I bought this place.
38
00:02:12,603 --> 00:02:14,734
Well, knock.
39
00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:16,875
How do you like this outfit?
40
00:02:17,695 --> 00:02:19,070
Looks beautiful.
41
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:21,593
- It's nice. I...
- Are you gonna be long?
42
00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:23,171
No, Mother.
I'm not gonna be much longer.
43
00:02:23,898 --> 00:02:25,281
Take your time.
44
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,747
- No.
- Oh, that's terrible.
45
00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:32,421
- Hi, Chip.
- Oh.
46
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:33,703
Hey, honey.
47
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:36,039
We're right in the
middle of gown shopping
48
00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:37,109
for the wedding.
49
00:02:37,235 --> 00:02:39,571
Hey, there was a sale,
and I got you something.
50
00:02:39,596 --> 00:02:40,671
Whoo-hoo.
51
00:02:40,696 --> 00:02:42,484
Try it on. I think you'll like it.
52
00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:43,773
I'll be right back, girls.
53
00:02:43,798 --> 00:02:45,234
- Thanks, Mom.
- Okay.
54
00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:46,789
- Hi there.
- Hi, ladies.
55
00:02:46,814 --> 00:02:50,062
You know, between her place
and the rodeo and your place,
56
00:02:50,132 --> 00:02:52,679
Christine has a bathroom
everywhere in town.
57
00:02:52,704 --> 00:02:55,117
Yeah.
58
00:02:56,117 --> 00:02:59,015
Oh, beautiful apartment, Chip.
59
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,656
Oh, thank you. It's actually a condo.
60
00:03:00,858 --> 00:03:02,539
Oh...
61
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,726
Christine has been telling us
62
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,187
what a good little helper
you've been at the rodeo.
63
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,750
You're up, Joan.
64
00:03:08,775 --> 00:03:09,796
Oh, good.
65
00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:14,359
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, you look so cute.
66
00:03:14,493 --> 00:03:15,906
Are you ready for school?
67
00:03:16,235 --> 00:03:18,085
That's what it reminds me of.
68
00:03:18,223 --> 00:03:20,859
Oh, I miss you.
You know, that house we're in,
69
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,945
it's so big and lonesome.
70
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,187
Why don't we all get together
for dinner on Sunday?
71
00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:29,533
We'll go to that Chinese
place by the Crystal Palace.
72
00:03:29,558 --> 00:03:31,890
I'll look at my work schedule.
Maybe I can pencil something in.
73
00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:33,703
- I think it would be so much fun.
- Yeah.
74
00:03:34,017 --> 00:03:36,226
Remember all the
dinners we used to have?
75
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,710
We never went to dinners.
76
00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:39,523
Well, we wanted to.
77
00:03:39,548 --> 00:03:41,171
- Your turn.
- Oh, good.
78
00:03:41,196 --> 00:03:43,406
Oh. How 'bout those knobs?
79
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,367
Oh, my God, they were gorgeous.
80
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,261
- You just passing through?
- Maggie! Let's go.
81
00:03:48,286 --> 00:03:50,210
Big Gowns is gonna close.
82
00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:52,125
- Honey, there's no TP in there.
- Oh, my God.
83
00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:53,859
Oh, God, you'll have to go over there.
84
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:55,781
- I cannot miss this place.
- Bye, Chip.
85
00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:57,140
- It's my favorite.
- Let's go. Bye, honey.
86
00:03:57,165 --> 00:03:58,201
Bye, honey.
87
00:03:58,226 --> 00:03:59,523
Bye, Mom. Thanks for stopping by
88
00:03:59,548 --> 00:04:01,445
and using my toilet.
89
00:04:02,288 --> 00:04:03,734
- Sarah!
- Mom...
90
00:04:05,355 --> 00:04:07,289
Hey, princess, come on.
91
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,249
I'm talking to my
daughter, Nicole, not you.
92
00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:11,421
You can just push that
copper tubing to the side.
93
00:04:11,446 --> 00:04:13,125
- Yep, like that.
- Dale,
94
00:04:13,188 --> 00:04:15,326
Sarah's failed her
last two history exams.
95
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,406
Well, who cares? I mean,
the California school system,
96
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,812
all they teach you about is
that we came from chimpanzees,
97
00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:21,085
and about sharing.
98
00:04:21,507 --> 00:04:22,531
I'll learn her.
99
00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:23,976
I'll make sure she's learned.
100
00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:25,001
Right, Sarah?
101
00:04:26,711 --> 00:04:28,968
Uh, can we just go?
102
00:04:29,323 --> 00:04:31,445
- We're gonna go.
- It's that phone.
103
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:32,679
If she didn't spend so much time
104
00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:33,859
taking pictures of herself on it...
105
00:04:33,884 --> 00:04:35,321
I am not always taking
pictures of myself.
106
00:04:35,346 --> 00:04:36,703
Mom's just being a total bitch.
107
00:04:36,728 --> 00:04:38,765
- Do not talk to me like that.
- Yeah, well,
108
00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:39,898
I'm living with Dad now, so you
109
00:04:39,923 --> 00:04:41,265
- can't tell me what to do.
- Ooh.
110
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,703
- I'm done.
- Emojis are just popular now.
111
00:04:43,728 --> 00:04:45,546
You have to live with it. Hey, sweetie.
112
00:04:45,571 --> 00:04:47,109
You want to come live with Daddy, too?
113
00:04:47,493 --> 00:04:48,493
No.
114
00:04:51,179 --> 00:04:53,586
The youngest is always
the most disappointing.
115
00:04:53,688 --> 00:04:56,813
♪ I drink one for my baby ♪
116
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:57,985
♪ Who is long gone... ♪
117
00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,978
Uh, the guy that lives
in that RV right there,
118
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,486
his name is Walter Scruggs.
119
00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:03,228
He's a very interesting man.
120
00:05:04,081 --> 00:05:07,330
And, uh, that's our place right there.
121
00:05:07,864 --> 00:05:08,864
That's our RV.
122
00:05:10,105 --> 00:05:11,424
Are we in a trailer park?
123
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,259
Uh... well, that's one way
of looking at it, yes.
124
00:05:16,796 --> 00:05:18,033
Great.
125
00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:19,338
Well, I'd love to show you the place.
126
00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,009
It smells just like Febreze,
so you'll love it.
127
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,034
Come on in.
128
00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:28,613
Dad, the lights don't even work.
129
00:05:28,815 --> 00:05:29,916
Hold on.
130
00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:32,986
I run my lights on clean,
off-the-grid diesel.
131
00:05:33,272 --> 00:05:36,111
They on?
132
00:05:40,368 --> 00:05:41,368
Yeah.
133
00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,525
Pretty cool space in there, isn't it?
134
00:05:43,999 --> 00:05:45,228
Yeah, pretty cool.
135
00:05:45,994 --> 00:05:48,111
You know the voice
that plays inside your head...
136
00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:50,025
What you like, what you dislike?
137
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,869
Where do you think that voice came from?
138
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,766
Is it really you, or is it your mom?
139
00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:56,593
Or it could be your sister or brother.
140
00:05:56,619 --> 00:05:59,603
It could be you but when
you were nine years old.
141
00:05:59,628 --> 00:06:01,939
Now, would you take advice
from a nine-year-old?
142
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,736
These voices make a map.
Go left, go right.
143
00:06:05,761 --> 00:06:08,252
Avoid this situation,
take that situation.
144
00:06:08,908 --> 00:06:11,283
But it's not even your map.
145
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,650
So what we're going to do is
we're going to build a new you,
146
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,400
a new map, by bringing
all of you into the present.
147
00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:20,134
No more voices from the past.
148
00:06:20,159 --> 00:06:21,968
We're gonna go a different way.
149
00:06:23,089 --> 00:06:24,533
Oh, hey, Chrysanthemum.
150
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:30,947
- Gosh. Hey, Martha.
- Hey, Chip.
151
00:06:31,198 --> 00:06:32,572
Um, could I ask you a question?
152
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,079
How would you describe me?
153
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:36,863
Hmm.
154
00:06:36,888 --> 00:06:39,462
Uh, male, white...
155
00:06:40,587 --> 00:06:42,180
...uh, swarthy.
156
00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:43,822
About five-two.
157
00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:45,712
- Five-two?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:45,783 --> 00:06:47,767
Martha, I'm five-eight and a quarter.
159
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:50,345
My God, get your eyesight checked.
160
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:51,962
I don't mean physically, I mean, like...
161
00:06:52,749 --> 00:06:54,806
what is the energy that I put out there?
162
00:06:55,276 --> 00:06:59,047
Oh, you're listening to Tammy's
Live in Sedona, aren't you?
163
00:06:59,072 --> 00:07:01,439
- You're doing the friend quiz.
- No.
164
00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:04,533
Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am doing that.
165
00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:06,876
Okay, Chip Baskets.
166
00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:08,915
Um, he's a clown.
167
00:07:09,569 --> 00:07:12,158
A clown with a condo.
168
00:07:12,416 --> 00:07:14,720
Um, you're really good
at helping people.
169
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:18,876
Like your mom, and
that couple with a baby, and me.
170
00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:22,447
- A helper. So I'm a helper?
- Yeah.
171
00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:24,273
That's it? I just help people?
172
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,228
Like that glove on television
that helps hamburgers. Great.
173
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,986
Yeah, well, Hamburger Helper has helped
174
00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:32,111
a lot of moms make dinner.
175
00:07:32,399 --> 00:07:34,095
I don't know what you want me to say.
176
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,948
- Who do you think you are?
- I guess I'm just misunderstood,
177
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,002
- that's all. Thanks.
- Okay, well...
178
00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:39,502
Excuse me.
179
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,901
Thanks for coming by.
180
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:49,447
God, I hate dogs.
181
00:07:49,596 --> 00:07:51,704
Any animal, any kind of animals...
where was I?
182
00:07:51,729 --> 00:07:52,877
Oh, yeah, I was telling you,
183
00:07:52,902 --> 00:07:56,354
I control the, the Wi-Fi modem
here at the RV park,
184
00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:58,557
so it kind of makes me
the king of the park,
185
00:07:58,582 --> 00:08:01,104
and you would be my,
my princess... hey, guys.
186
00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:02,565
Please don't call me "princess."
187
00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:04,680
These are some of my friends
188
00:08:04,705 --> 00:08:06,165
that I do a lot of my
fellowshipping with.
189
00:08:06,189 --> 00:08:07,477
Uh, this is Sarah.
190
00:08:07,502 --> 00:08:09,493
- Hi.
- Wow. Nice work, Dale.
191
00:08:09,518 --> 00:08:10,526
Nice work.
192
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:12,557
- Oh, my God.
- Wallis, she's my daughter.
193
00:08:13,549 --> 00:08:16,284
I know. Nice work parenting, whatnot.
194
00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:19,402
And, uh, right
here, this is Duane.
195
00:08:19,435 --> 00:08:21,657
He's got a Facebook Live page
about the end of the world.
196
00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:23,406
- It's really interesting stuff.
- Cool.
197
00:08:23,431 --> 00:08:24,713
Chinese are gonna flood it.
198
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,172
Whole thing's gonna be a beach.
199
00:08:26,335 --> 00:08:28,002
Dead fish flopping all over.
200
00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:29,027
Menthol?
201
00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:30,627
Uh, I don't smoke.
202
00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:32,309
Well, don't poo-poo it.
203
00:08:32,444 --> 00:08:33,812
It works out for some women.
204
00:08:33,837 --> 00:08:34,948
Keeps 'em thin.
205
00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:37,682
Cool rabbit.
206
00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,979
- Uh, does it have a name?
- Dinner.
207
00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:42,502
You want to see something even cooler?
208
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,698
Oh, this is my boy, Wally Jr.
209
00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:47,931
Hi. I'm-I'm Sarah.
210
00:08:47,964 --> 00:08:49,674
- Hey.
- Uh, who's this?
211
00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:51,284
Uh, this is Sally Sue.
212
00:08:51,309 --> 00:08:52,649
- Hi.
- You want to hold her?
213
00:08:52,674 --> 00:08:53,674
- Can I?
- Yeah.
214
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,830
She'll make a little
bit of noise. She's fine.
215
00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:56,924
- Oh, my gosh.
- Yeah, just like that. That's perfect.
216
00:08:56,949 --> 00:08:59,051
Hi.
217
00:08:59,076 --> 00:09:00,478
It's okay. It's okay.
218
00:09:01,344 --> 00:09:03,306
Um, can you take a picture of me?
219
00:09:03,331 --> 00:09:04,853
- Oh, yeah. Of course.
- Thanks.
220
00:09:10,086 --> 00:09:12,438
- Let me see that. Is that nice?
- Yeah.
221
00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,649
- Oh, look at that.
- Oh, it...
222
00:09:14,674 --> 00:09:15,994
What the hell?
223
00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:17,111
No kissy-face pictures
224
00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:18,244
- with my daughter!
- Dad!
225
00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:19,799
- Oh, my God.
- Okay?
226
00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:21,478
Keep an eye on your son.
227
00:09:21,963 --> 00:09:23,040
All right.
228
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:28,213
- Oh, God. Bye.
- Bye.
229
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:31,400
Never forget
that you exist in the now.
230
00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:34,670
So I want you to call all of
yourself back into the present,
231
00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:37,267
from all the places you've
left yourself behind.
232
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,142
Now say hello to yourself.
233
00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:42,363
This is really you.
234
00:09:42,388 --> 00:09:43,388
Hello.
235
00:09:43,663 --> 00:09:45,831
And you're not going to do it alone.
236
00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,723
You know I'm doing it with you.
237
00:09:47,748 --> 00:09:49,683
So everyone say it with me.
238
00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:53,472
I'm the biggest me that I can be.
239
00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:54,503
I'm the biggest
240
00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,114
- me that I can be.
- I'm the biggest me that I can...
241
00:09:56,139 --> 00:09:58,919
Can I help you? Whoa, okay.
No, no, no, no.
242
00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:02,000
Don't touch it. Don't touch it.
You'll make it worse.
243
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,489
Is there something I
can help you with today?
244
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:09,263
Uh, yes, I am looking for some clothes
245
00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:10,692
that'll make me look like a...
246
00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:12,783
like a real man.
247
00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:15,083
Great. Great.
248
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,458
Well, we should get out of the
children's department, then.
249
00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:18,972
Follow me.
250
00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:27,239
Okay, history lesson.
251
00:10:27,264 --> 00:10:29,399
How did America win the Revolution?
252
00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:31,630
I don't know, Dad. How?
253
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:35,114
Guns! America's greatest export.
254
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,965
Oh, yeah, guns. Guns have gotten us
255
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:38,653
out of a lot of trouble here.
256
00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:40,036
World War II, we used guns.
257
00:10:40,061 --> 00:10:42,380
Korea, guns. Vietnam, guns.
258
00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:44,606
Uh, Super Bowl XIII, guns. Feel that.
259
00:10:45,184 --> 00:10:47,153
- Feel it. Pick it up.
- I...
260
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:48,981
Okay.
261
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,786
Ta-da.
262
00:10:51,565 --> 00:10:54,192
You look cool as shit with
that in your arms. Do it again.
263
00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:55,747
Pick it up.
264
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,356
There you go... well,
there's no bullets in it,
265
00:10:57,381 --> 00:10:59,801
but don't point it at any...
don't ever point it at anybody.
266
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,161
Okay? Now,
267
00:11:02,186 --> 00:11:05,669
first thing we need to do is
fieldstrip this thing, so...
268
00:11:06,372 --> 00:11:09,497
let me just, uh, take this out.
269
00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:10,722
There we go.
270
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,348
And, uh, double-check, yeah,
there's no bullets in here.
271
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,942
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
272
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,169
It's all jammed up.
Oh, hold on one second.
273
00:11:17,194 --> 00:11:18,809
I see what's going on here.
274
00:11:22,263 --> 00:11:23,872
Is that my phone? That's my phone.
275
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,051
Oh, it's your grandmother. Hold on.
276
00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,892
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, Dale. What you up to?
277
00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:30,259
I'm just teaching my
daughter life lessons.
278
00:11:30,284 --> 00:11:31,689
- Why?
- I want to take the family
279
00:11:31,714 --> 00:11:33,658
to that place by the Crystal Palace.
280
00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:36,041
Is that the new place with the
chocolate chip fortune cookies?
281
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,392
- Okay, we'll be there.
- See you there.
282
00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:39,417
Okay, bye.
283
00:11:46,902 --> 00:11:48,142
How did you do that?
284
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,421
I looked it up, Dad, on my phone.
285
00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:51,720
- Ooh. Uh...
- Give me that.
286
00:11:52,408 --> 00:11:53,725
What the hell?
287
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:54,869
I want to teach you!
288
00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:57,251
This is about father-daughter bonding!
289
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:58,478
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:02,470
Goddamn it.
291
00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:05,494
Hey.
292
00:12:07,864 --> 00:12:09,361
Uh... Hey.
293
00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:13,837
Turns out it was loaded.
294
00:12:14,311 --> 00:12:17,001
As human beings,
we are uniquely equipped
295
00:12:17,026 --> 00:12:19,128
to take ownership and responsibility
296
00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:21,181
of the life we lead.
297
00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:22,822
We have choice.
298
00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:24,522
We have free will.
299
00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:26,461
You might have a pet dog...
300
00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:27,789
Hi, Reverend Kwon.
301
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,712
- Hi, Reverend Kwon. Sorry.
- Oh. Oh, hey.
302
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:32,424
Hey. Chip, you are looking really sharp.
303
00:12:32,956 --> 00:12:34,490
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.
304
00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,408
What's a church youth conference?
305
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:37,892
This is You Alive.
306
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:39,970
Evangelical youths from-from
all over the Central Valley,
307
00:12:39,995 --> 00:12:42,006
they come here to find a
deeper fellowship with Christ.
308
00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:43,728
Oh, that sounds like a blast.
309
00:12:43,753 --> 00:12:45,244
Best three days of my life.
310
00:12:45,269 --> 00:12:46,968
H-How are ticket sales?
311
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,431
Oh, uh, really, really good.
312
00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:51,705
Like, we have probably 2,000 people...
313
00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,345
...who have applied.
314
00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,517
- We haven't finalized all...
- Whoa, whoa, hold on a second.
315
00:12:56,771 --> 00:12:59,822
That sounds like something you
might need to rent an arena for.
316
00:13:02,384 --> 00:13:05,212
Oh. Well, we were thinking
about the Marriott.
317
00:13:05,237 --> 00:13:06,705
Marriott? No, no, no, no, no.
318
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:08,566
Uh, Marriotts are owned by Mormons.
319
00:13:08,591 --> 00:13:10,660
- I did not know that.
- This is a really good deal.
320
00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:12,884
- It's got Wi-Fi. It's got, uh...
- You have Wi-Fi?
321
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:14,072
Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:15,608
Genderless bathrooms.
323
00:13:16,384 --> 00:13:18,423
Oh. Let's talk.
324
00:13:18,579 --> 00:13:20,814
Very good. I'll see you around.
325
00:13:31,362 --> 00:13:34,533
Oh, smell that Spring & Renewal.
326
00:13:34,558 --> 00:13:37,173
Mm. That's my favorite Febreze.
327
00:13:37,829 --> 00:13:40,330
Oh, that was a good sleep,
wasn't it, Sar-bear?
328
00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,494
Mm. Sar?
329
00:13:44,028 --> 00:13:45,028
Hey, Sarah?
330
00:13:45,223 --> 00:13:46,540
Let's get up, sweetheart.
331
00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:51,994
Sarah?
332
00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:57,039
Hey!
333
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,070
Amber Alert!
334
00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:01,367
Dale, what's up with the Wi-Fi?
335
00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,778
I'm in the middle of a live feed.
336
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,165
Well, I'm in the middle
of an Amber Alert.
337
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:07,001
No Wi-Fi. No pornography
until we find my daughter.
338
00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:08,712
- I saw your daughter.
- Where?
339
00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:11,017
She's off playing with Wally Jr.
340
00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:12,509
They're messing around in the tub.
341
00:14:14,189 --> 00:14:15,665
In the tub?
342
00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:17,649
Sarah!
343
00:14:19,286 --> 00:14:20,361
Yeah, that's so good.
344
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,618
Yeah. Perfect.
345
00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:24,165
Okay, maybe put your leg up on the...
346
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:25,190
Oh, okay.
347
00:14:25,609 --> 00:14:27,384
And, like, over
the shoulder a little bit.
348
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,712
Yeah, perfect. That's so good.
349
00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:32,320
Step away from the princess, you pauper!
350
00:14:32,345 --> 00:14:34,533
Jesus! Dad, put the gun down.
351
00:14:34,558 --> 00:14:37,155
- Put the gun down? Are you crazy?
- Are you crazy?
352
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,181
- What's going on here?!
- It's just pictures, man.
353
00:14:39,206 --> 00:14:40,915
- "Just pictures"? Get down!
- You know? Yeah, Instagra...
354
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:42,306
- It's just Instagram.
- Get down!
355
00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:47,314
Dad. Dad.
356
00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:50,095
I don't understand all this.
357
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,775
You're taking pictures of my daughter.
358
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,800
Yeah.
359
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,806
Look how scantily clad she is, huh?
360
00:14:55,908 --> 00:14:57,233
What do you think about that, son?
361
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,531
- Geez.
- Huh?
362
00:14:58,556 --> 00:14:59,845
- Pretty good. Oh!
- Give me this phone.
363
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,881
This phone has caused
nothing but trouble
364
00:15:01,913 --> 00:15:03,541
Whoa, what the hell, man?
365
00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:05,256
Shit.
366
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,477
Goddamn it.
367
00:15:07,502 --> 00:15:08,635
I'm pretty sure you can just put it
368
00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,034
in a bag of rice or something.
369
00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:11,934
I've heard that works.
370
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:12,959
You know what else is good
371
00:15:12,984 --> 00:15:13,995
- for these phones?
- No, Dad.
372
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,887
Are you crazy?
373
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,660
Okay. Put your clothes on.
374
00:15:24,694 --> 00:15:26,127
We got to go to a Chinese restaurant.
375
00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:27,152
Let's go.
376
00:15:28,278 --> 00:15:30,080
Take responsibility...
377
00:15:30,237 --> 00:15:33,403
Hello. I'm here for
the, uh, Baskets party.
378
00:15:33,428 --> 00:15:34,682
- Hey, Chip.
- Yeah.
379
00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,229
- Hey.
- Hey, Martha.
380
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:39,151
- Hey.
- What are you doing here?
381
00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:40,176
Do you work here?
382
00:15:40,201 --> 00:15:41,885
I don't. Your mom invited me.
383
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,276
You're all dolled up.
384
00:15:43,468 --> 00:15:45,815
Just, uh, I don't know.
I just thought I'd put some...
385
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,338
Oh, you're still listening
to the Tammy stuff.
386
00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,588
- I like it.
- Yeah, I mean...
387
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,721
- it's for entertainment.
- The new Chip.
388
00:15:52,746 --> 00:15:54,315
You look really grown-up.
389
00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:56,784
Thanks. Thanks, Martha.
390
00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,338
- Well, you ready for some Chinese food?
- Sure.
391
00:15:59,504 --> 00:16:00,906
How are you with chopsticks?
392
00:16:00,931 --> 00:16:02,784
No. Brought my own fork.
393
00:16:02,914 --> 00:16:05,659
Oh, is this like the lobsters
where you get to pick 'em out,
394
00:16:05,684 --> 00:16:08,205
- then you get to eat 'em?
- I don't think these are for cooking.
395
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:11,433
Oh, what a shame.
They look so delicious.
396
00:16:11,544 --> 00:16:12,544
Monica, listen to me.
397
00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:15,205
Just make sure that it's not
the stain-repellent chemicals
398
00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:16,534
that's causing the problems.
399
00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,307
Ken, get off the phone.
400
00:16:18,332 --> 00:16:20,791
- We're gonna have dinner.
- Honey, gotta go. Walking in to dinner.
401
00:16:20,816 --> 00:16:21,878
- Sorry, Christine.
- Let's go.
402
00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:23,628
The girls are having a
little carpet problem
403
00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:24,761
- they got to deal with.
- Okay.
404
00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:26,394
Oh, Chip, Martha,
405
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,821
you're here early.
406
00:16:27,846 --> 00:16:29,363
Well, time is money, Mom.
407
00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:31,394
- Isn't that the truth?
- Hello.
408
00:16:31,419 --> 00:16:33,050
Oh, thank you, Ken.
409
00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:35,475
Chip, like the suit.
410
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,511
Thank you, sir.
411
00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:38,449
Got a new clown act up your sleeve?
412
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,050
Well, just, uh...
413
00:16:40,503 --> 00:16:43,582
You know, Chip's
always dressed up in funny outfits.
414
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,769
When he was younger,
I came home one time,
415
00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,972
and he had my bra on his head,
416
00:16:48,183 --> 00:16:51,152
and he was pretending
he was a praying mantis.
417
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,391
It was your panties on my head.
418
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:54,683
- Oh.
- I'm just turning over a new leaf.
419
00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:56,910
- That's all.
- Oh, honey, good for you.
420
00:16:57,046 --> 00:16:58,047
Hey everybody.
421
00:16:58,072 --> 00:17:01,558
Oh, my businessman son.
422
00:17:02,425 --> 00:17:04,854
Oh, God, you're getting so tall.
423
00:17:04,879 --> 00:17:06,667
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
424
00:17:06,815 --> 00:17:09,144
Nice monkey suit, stupid.
425
00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:13,097
I, uh, have
a money question for you, Dale.
426
00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:14,339
Mom, you can ask me.
427
00:17:14,571 --> 00:17:16,190
Honey, if I had a clown question,
428
00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:18,684
I'd ask you because
that's your expertise.
429
00:17:19,175 --> 00:17:20,918
Hi. Do you know
what you'd like to drink?
430
00:17:20,943 --> 00:17:23,089
Well, we just got here.
I'm all discombobulated,
431
00:17:23,114 --> 00:17:26,073
and the-the menu's in...
half of it's in Chinese,
432
00:17:26,430 --> 00:17:29,393
so I don't know what to do here. Mm-kay.
433
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:30,418
I'm ready to order.
434
00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:32,550
I'm gonna have chicken fried rice,
435
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,073
and I'm gonna have, uh,
436
00:17:35,098 --> 00:17:37,058
- kung pao chicken.
- Mom, mom, mom.
437
00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:38,825
- I think it's just the drinks.
- Huh?
438
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,792
- Oh, I got ahead of myself.
- Sorry, Christine.
439
00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:42,276
- I have to take this.
- What?
440
00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:43,308
Monica.
441
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,026
No, no, don't sign nothing
442
00:17:45,051 --> 00:17:47,737
until you double-check the inventory.
443
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,440
- What the hell's that about?
- What?
444
00:17:49,675 --> 00:17:51,716
- Carpet, honey.
- My God.
445
00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:53,198
Does he have to make such a scene?
446
00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:54,861
Uncle Chip?
447
00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:56,587
- Yes?
- Can I borrow your phone?
448
00:17:56,612 --> 00:17:58,300
- For what reason?
- Don't do that.
449
00:17:58,325 --> 00:17:59,964
All she's gonna do is take
pictures of her titties
450
00:17:59,989 --> 00:18:01,362
- and put it on Twitter.
- Dad.
451
00:18:01,387 --> 00:18:02,792
- Well, that's the truth.
- Don't say...
452
00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,406
- that at the table.
- You might as well call it "Twitties."
453
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:05,431
Oh, my God.
454
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,099
Um, anyway, uh, I just want his phone
455
00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:09,953
so I can call Mom to
tell her to pick me up.
456
00:18:11,294 --> 00:18:12,460
I want to go home.
457
00:18:14,357 --> 00:18:16,140
Call... call your mom?
458
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,538
But I thought you hated your mom.
459
00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:20,098
Yeah, well, I want to see her again,
460
00:18:20,123 --> 00:18:22,695
and... you know what? She's not insane
461
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,874
- and living in a trailer park.
- It is not a trailer park.
462
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,086
I told you that. Those are
good Americans living there.
463
00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:29,641
- Come on, you guys.
- They tried to get me to smoke.
464
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,156
- Who did?
- I'll have a Tom Collins, please.
465
00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:32,906
- You're missing the point.
- What am I missing?
466
00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:34,156
I-I'm not missing anything.
467
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,181
- Do you know what?
- Sir, do you...
468
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:36,361
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna have a hamburger
469
00:18:36,386 --> 00:18:37,416
with jack cheese, please.
470
00:18:37,441 --> 00:18:38,441
- I'm sorr...
- Hold the onions. I'll have
471
00:18:38,466 --> 00:18:40,894
- double the pickles.
- We don't have hamburgers here.
472
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:43,081
You don't have
hamburgers in America?
473
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,237
It's a Chinese restaurant, Dale.
474
00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,487
Yeah, but why do I have to
kowtow to their culture?
475
00:18:47,811 --> 00:18:48,811
Why is that?
476
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,060
- Just get some moo shu, honey.
- I don't want moo shu, Mom.
477
00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:53,234
- You love moo shu.
- I don't... I don't love moo shu.
478
00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:55,859
He'll have the moo shu pork.
You loved that as a kid.
479
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,820
I don't want any moo shu.
No moo shu.
480
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,812
None. I don't want any moo shu.
481
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,852
- Put down moo shu.
- I don't want moo shu.
482
00:19:01,877 --> 00:19:03,655
- It's the principle of the matter.
- Dad.
483
00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,804
I mean, at Willy's Wontons,
you can order a goddamn corn dog.
484
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:08,007
- Dale.
- Willy's Wonton?
485
00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:10,296
- Sit down.
- Oh, my God.
486
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,843
Um, I'll have the
Grandma's Soup Noodles.
487
00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:16,632
Yeah, hello? Yeah, hey.
488
00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:17,830
Can I get a cheeseburger?
489
00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:19,345
- Is that possible?
- Hey, Dale, Dale, Dale.
490
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:20,752
Listen. Breathe.
491
00:19:21,436 --> 00:19:22,436
Breathe.
492
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,244
- Wha...?
- Repeat after me.
493
00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:26,502
Uh, say it with me.
494
00:19:26,536 --> 00:19:27,536
Uh...
495
00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:30,720
- I am in the now.
- What are you doing?
496
00:19:30,745 --> 00:19:33,166
Look, you're in the kitchen, okay?
497
00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:34,725
Your family's out there.
498
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:37,322
We need to bring all
of you into the now.
499
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,424
Look, I'm tired of the
influx of immigrants
500
00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:40,689
coming into this country
that don't know how
501
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,033
to make a cheeseburger.
502
00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,408
I mean, am I... am I crazy
for-for being like that?
503
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,916
I think you're just getting frustrated
504
00:19:45,941 --> 00:19:47,072
with your anger at your daughter.
505
00:19:47,097 --> 00:19:48,627
You're taking it out on the immigrants.
506
00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:50,754
Uh, I'm from Modesto.
507
00:19:50,849 --> 00:19:52,658
- I'm so sorry.
- Where's that?
508
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,572
It's up in the Bay Area.
509
00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,767
Look, Dale.
510
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,791
He's, like, a San Francisco type of guy.
511
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,156
Dale, look.
512
00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:01,822
Everybody that you love is here.
513
00:20:02,813 --> 00:20:04,728
Just order the moo shu.
514
00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:06,220
Okay? Let's go have dinner.
515
00:20:08,644 --> 00:20:10,588
Could you just figure
it out, please?
516
00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:12,082
Chinese cheese is fine.
517
00:20:14,717 --> 00:20:15,717
I'm sorry.
518
00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,455
Can you make him a burger?
519
00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:21,416
You got too much facial
hair to be in here.
520
00:20:32,072 --> 00:20:33,416
Ken, you ever been to China?
521
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,502
No.
522
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:35,619
Me, neither.
523
00:20:40,502 --> 00:20:42,580
Oh, hey.
524
00:20:42,989 --> 00:20:44,822
So sorry about...
525
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:47,278
our family uproar.
526
00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:54,033
- Here you go, honey. Call your mom.
- Thank you.
527
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,478
Look, I think I...
528
00:20:58,112 --> 00:21:00,877
I think I'm just upset, uh, because...
529
00:21:00,902 --> 00:21:03,533
Sarah, I... you know, I was excited.
530
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,954
It's just, I'm just sad
that you're leaving.
531
00:21:05,979 --> 00:21:08,275
That's all. I'm just
temperamental about it.
532
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,337
Well, that runs in our family, honey.
533
00:21:10,362 --> 00:21:12,009
I just don't think anybody loves me.
534
00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:14,070
- Oh, honey.
- Dad, okay...
535
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,040
People love you.
536
00:21:17,512 --> 00:21:19,514
Can you hand this over to him?
537
00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:21,275
- Here, honey.
- Here, Dad.
538
00:21:22,265 --> 00:21:23,265
What's that?
539
00:21:23,611 --> 00:21:26,025
- It's for your face.
- Oh. Yes.
540
00:21:30,103 --> 00:21:31,727
There you go.
541
00:21:31,761 --> 00:21:32,761
Happy?
542
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,720
There you go.
543
00:21:34,745 --> 00:21:36,486
That's love right there.
544
00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:39,201
That looks interesting.
545
00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:42,837
Wish I would have got that now.
546
00:21:43,347 --> 00:21:44,915
Hmm. It's not bad.
547
00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:46,298
- Oh, good.
- What's that little grin
548
00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:48,111
- you got on your face there, huh?
- Sorry.
549
00:21:48,136 --> 00:21:50,992
Hey. Don't be rude, Dale.
550
00:21:51,017 --> 00:21:52,790
I was smiling 'cause
you got your burger.
551
00:21:52,815 --> 00:21:54,900
That's why I was smiling.
I was happy about it.
552
00:21:54,925 --> 00:21:56,227
Show some manners.
553
00:21:56,452 --> 00:21:58,087
What are we, savages here?
554
00:21:58,563 --> 00:22:01,095
Chip, thank you for saving dinner.
555
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,134
- Yeah. Yes.
- Let's have a toast to Chip.
556
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,441
- Okay.
- Yeah.
557
00:22:05,466 --> 00:22:07,157
- Chip.
- Toast, Dale.
558
00:22:07,182 --> 00:22:08,743
Toast your brother.
559
00:22:12,056 --> 00:22:13,669
Well, he gave you a burger toast, honey.
560
00:22:13,694 --> 00:22:14,767
- I'm sorry.
- That'll work.
561
00:22:16,056 --> 00:22:17,523
Well, that was tons of fun.
562
00:22:17,548 --> 00:22:19,532
- Yeah.
- Do you mind driving me to the rodeo?
563
00:22:19,557 --> 00:22:21,985
I got some contracts that
I need you to fill out.
564
00:22:22,712 --> 00:22:24,446
Wow, you really are five-eight.
565
00:22:24,471 --> 00:22:26,165
I'm five-eight and a quarter.
566
00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:29,093
I need to get on a flight to
Denver as soon as possible.
567
00:22:29,585 --> 00:22:31,399
I want you to go with me.
568
00:22:31,424 --> 00:22:33,759
Oh. Um...
569
00:22:34,477 --> 00:22:36,291
Yeah, can I get some
ranch dressing, please?
570
00:22:36,325 --> 00:22:37,673
For the third time.
571
00:22:40,381 --> 00:22:41,712
Okay, I'll go.
572
00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:44,800
Thank you for the moo shu.
573
00:22:45,152 --> 00:22:46,152
Because the truth is
574
00:22:46,177 --> 00:22:48,102
each and every one of you is as special
575
00:22:48,127 --> 00:22:51,048
and unique as that glorious sunset.
576
00:22:51,182 --> 00:22:54,519
You don't need to convince
anyone who you are.
577
00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,102
That's right.
578
00:22:57,127 --> 00:23:00,048
Ow!
579
00:23:00,182 --> 00:23:03,582
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com