1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,749 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,773 --> 00:00:04,484 So, because I am 3 00:00:04,509 --> 00:00:08,396 going to Denver with my fiancé Ken, 4 00:00:08,421 --> 00:00:11,093 who's having some carpet issues right now, 5 00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:13,929 I'd like to take this opportunity to make 6 00:00:13,954 --> 00:00:16,423 a transfer of power... 7 00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:20,839 from me, Christine Baskets, to... my Chippy 8 00:00:20,864 --> 00:00:25,268 as the new CEO of Baskets Rodeo. 9 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,871 Hoo, hoo, hoo! 10 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,778 - Thanks, everybody. - But don't worry. 11 00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:31,676 Because I've installed all these cameras 12 00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:35,249 so that I can keep an eye on things from Denver. 13 00:00:35,274 --> 00:00:37,804 How about that Internet, isn't it crazy? 14 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,671 I've ordered a neti pot that's gonna be 15 00:00:39,696 --> 00:00:41,430 at my house when I get home. 16 00:00:42,282 --> 00:00:45,710 So crazy. Oh, and... guess what? 17 00:00:46,124 --> 00:00:50,046 - I got you some business cards. - Oh, look at that. 18 00:00:50,071 --> 00:00:52,359 - Yes. - Why does it have a wrench on it? 19 00:00:52,384 --> 00:00:54,523 Because you're a hard worker. 20 00:00:54,865 --> 00:00:57,670 Speech. Let's hear some applause. 21 00:00:57,695 --> 00:00:58,937 Speech! Speech! 22 00:00:58,962 --> 00:01:00,945 - Words of wisdom! - Hoo, ho, ho! 23 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,968 Thanks, Mom. Okay. Uh, I'd like to thank, 24 00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:05,249 uh, first and foremost, I'd like to thank my mother, 25 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,296 - um, who... - I've got to go, honey. 26 00:01:07,321 --> 00:01:09,304 I'm going to the airport, but keep it going. 27 00:01:09,329 --> 00:01:12,234 Listen to him, he's got words to say. 28 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,741 Okay, everybody back to work. 29 00:01:15,445 --> 00:01:17,476 I had more of a speech. Do you guys want to hear it? 30 00:01:18,081 --> 00:01:19,437 No, I don't. You? 31 00:01:19,617 --> 00:01:20,683 Nah, I'm good. 32 00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:22,241 - No. - Fair enough. 33 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:27,359 Okay. "You Alive" youth conference. 34 00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:29,071 Where are my notes on tha... Okay, yeah. 35 00:01:29,096 --> 00:01:32,204 So you guys just want to rent the arena for just the one evening, 36 00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:34,196 - correct? - Yes. Yes. 37 00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:36,024 And, uh, you're gonna do a talent show? 38 00:01:36,049 --> 00:01:37,290 - That's right. - In the arena? 39 00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:39,063 Y-You have to see it. It's amazing. 40 00:01:39,088 --> 00:01:41,009 I mean, these... Some of these kids are so talented. 41 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,477 Some of them are... are awful. 42 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,321 But-but most of them are really, really good. 43 00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:46,540 Okay, great. I just need you to sign... 44 00:01:47,251 --> 00:01:48,423 some insurance... 45 00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:49,923 waivers, they're just standard... 46 00:01:50,336 --> 00:01:51,555 insurance waivers. 47 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,712 - What is it... "accidents"? - Yeah. Well, you know, 48 00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:55,639 if there's any... paraphernalia that... 49 00:01:55,903 --> 00:01:58,472 someone gets hit by, like, a crucifix, or... 50 00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:01,884 you know, maybe a Bible fight breaks out. 51 00:02:02,218 --> 00:02:03,298 Oh, yeah. 52 00:02:03,609 --> 00:02:05,329 Yeah. Absolutely. 53 00:02:05,354 --> 00:02:07,368 - Um, here's my business card. - Uh-huh. 54 00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:09,548 In case you need me. 55 00:02:09,573 --> 00:02:11,501 It has my phone number, even with the area code. 56 00:02:11,526 --> 00:02:12,681 Hey, you seem to be really 57 00:02:12,706 --> 00:02:14,618 taking kind of a leadership role with this. 58 00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:16,720 Well, I'm a CEO now. Uh... 59 00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:18,057 Chief... 60 00:02:19,141 --> 00:02:20,884 E... Chief E.O. 61 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:24,524 You know, Chip, I-I'm very, very excited for you. 62 00:02:24,549 --> 00:02:26,735 - I'm very impressed. - Well... 63 00:02:27,396 --> 00:02:29,603 that means a lot... coming from you, Reverend. 64 00:02:29,628 --> 00:02:30,628 - Thank you so much. - Okay. 65 00:02:30,653 --> 00:02:31,759 So I guess, uh, done deal. 66 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,252 - Thank you so much. - Okay, all right. 67 00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:34,697 And let me know if you ever need a CEO... 68 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:35,722 I will. 69 00:02:35,747 --> 00:02:37,306 - ... at the church. Great. - Yeah, yeah. 70 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,901 - Wonderful. - Mm-hmm. Oh... 71 00:02:44,705 --> 00:02:46,392 Got it. Shit! 72 00:02:51,027 --> 00:02:53,072 - Had a number two pencil... - Oh. 73 00:02:53,097 --> 00:02:54,392 - Yeah, um... - There it is. 74 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,661 That's actually mine... I-it's okay. It's okay. 75 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:00,166 Yeah, abso... whoa. 76 00:03:04,124 --> 00:03:05,124 Monica? 77 00:03:05,149 --> 00:03:06,752 They just leave the door open? 78 00:03:06,777 --> 00:03:08,939 Well, you can do that in this neighborhood. Monica? 79 00:03:08,964 --> 00:03:12,109 - Well, hello. Look at you! - Oh, Monica! 80 00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:13,839 - Oh... - How are you? 81 00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:14,955 ... it's so nice to see you. 82 00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:16,353 Nice... oh, and hi, hi, Dad. 83 00:03:16,378 --> 00:03:18,049 - Hello. - Aw. 84 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:19,197 - Oh, good to see you, too. - You, too. 85 00:03:19,222 --> 00:03:20,963 I wish it was under better circumstances. 86 00:03:20,988 --> 00:03:23,783 Well, I think, for the moment, we have everything under control. 87 00:03:23,808 --> 00:03:26,095 Then we'll just hear more about it in the morning, so... 88 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,267 ... in the meantime, 89 00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:28,541 - let me grab your bags. - Okay. 90 00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:29,830 'Cause I have the room all set up. 91 00:03:29,855 --> 00:03:32,058 - Oh, how lovely. - Yeah. 92 00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:34,939 Well, since we don't have a carpet emergency 93 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,197 until tomorrow, 94 00:03:36,719 --> 00:03:38,486 why don't you put on something nice, honey? 95 00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,275 What's up? Why? 96 00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:42,548 It's a surprise. 97 00:03:42,581 --> 00:03:44,080 Oh! 98 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,580 Ken! 99 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,080 Hello? 100 00:04:05,442 --> 00:04:07,447 Okay, well, um... 101 00:04:13,424 --> 00:04:14,571 Hello? 102 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,040 Hey! 103 00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,642 - Go. Go. Go. - Hey, how did you kids 104 00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:24,884 - get in here? - Shut up, 105 00:04:24,909 --> 00:04:26,502 - old man. - Excuse me?! 106 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,752 I'm not an old man. 107 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,509 Hey, guys, stop. Stop, stop, stop. 108 00:04:31,393 --> 00:04:32,393 Hold on. 109 00:04:32,642 --> 00:04:34,494 Listen, I'm cool. 110 00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:36,877 I'm not that old. You know? 111 00:04:37,322 --> 00:04:40,681 I'm in my mid-to-very-late 40s, and, uh... 112 00:04:41,275 --> 00:04:43,033 But I was once your age. 113 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,814 So-so I get it. 114 00:04:45,255 --> 00:04:46,509 I can relate. 115 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,449 School sucks. 116 00:04:49,234 --> 00:04:50,447 It does. 117 00:04:50,574 --> 00:04:52,353 Mom's always yelling at you. 118 00:04:52,983 --> 00:04:55,674 "Turn that Sheryl Crow music down!" Right? 119 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,892 But I've improved myself. 120 00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,519 I've picked myself up by the bootstraps. 121 00:04:59,544 --> 00:05:02,392 I've been listening to these... these self-help tapes, 122 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:03,982 and I'd love to sit you fellas down 123 00:05:04,007 --> 00:05:05,400 and maybe, you know, talk to you 124 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:07,205 about why you're acting out and... 125 00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,230 You're dumb. 126 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,166 Let's go. 127 00:05:10,191 --> 00:05:11,197 Hey, nice tie. 128 00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,666 Hey. Uh, hey, guys? 129 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:13,964 Hey, guys? 130 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,994 Just think about what I said! 131 00:05:25,595 --> 00:05:26,939 Hey, Carpet King. 132 00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:28,424 - Hey, how are you, sir? - Good. 133 00:05:28,449 --> 00:05:29,908 - Fine. Good to see you. - Good to see you. 134 00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:30,955 Howdy, ma'am. 135 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,752 - Who's that, the mayor? - Oh, I don't know. 136 00:05:32,777 --> 00:05:34,869 People just recognize me from the commercials. 137 00:05:34,894 --> 00:05:36,595 Been doing them for so many years. 138 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,830 - Oh, so good. - Mmm. 139 00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:40,494 - Enjoying it? - I love it. 140 00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:42,775 - The music. The food. - Mmm. Mmm. 141 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,877 I can't believe you ordered snake. 142 00:05:45,659 --> 00:05:46,916 - It's a rattler. - Mmm. 143 00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,877 Have you tried the-the buffalo? It's tasty. 144 00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:52,119 Oh, my God. 145 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,361 - Oh. - Ken, is that you? 146 00:05:54,386 --> 00:05:57,689 - Donna, it is so good to see you. - Oh! 147 00:05:57,714 --> 00:05:59,549 Oh, my goodness, me. 148 00:05:59,574 --> 00:06:00,955 - Does this mean you're back? - Oh, no. 149 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,783 No, no, I'm just in town for a bit 150 00:06:02,808 --> 00:06:05,150 to help the girls. Carpet stuff. 151 00:06:05,175 --> 00:06:06,970 Damn. Thought we got you back. 152 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,674 Denver's just not the same 153 00:06:08,699 --> 00:06:11,549 - without its carpet king. - Aw. Oh, Christine. 154 00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:13,408 This is my dear friend, Donna. 155 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:15,228 - Hi, Donna. - This is her place. 156 00:06:15,253 --> 00:06:17,088 - Oh, I love it. - Oh, thank you. 157 00:06:17,113 --> 00:06:18,814 - Oh, my goodness. It's so... - Thank you very much. 158 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:19,908 You have any boar? 159 00:06:22,494 --> 00:06:24,799 I've known Ken since the '70s. 160 00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,314 - Mm-hmm. Oh! - Wow. 161 00:06:26,339 --> 00:06:29,236 Christine is my beautiful bride-to-be. 162 00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:31,213 - Oh. - Are you kidding? 163 00:06:31,238 --> 00:06:32,814 Well, that's amazing! 164 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,408 I never thought anybody would get him. 165 00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:37,432 But you did it, finally. 166 00:06:37,457 --> 00:06:39,697 I guess you could say I bagged him, Donna. 167 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:44,382 - Dinner's on us. - Oh, Donna. 168 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,650 I'm gonna send over a bottle of champagne. 169 00:06:46,675 --> 00:06:48,343 Oh, how kind. 170 00:06:50,252 --> 00:06:51,736 Well, Miss Baskets, 171 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,986 may I have this dance? 172 00:06:54,011 --> 00:06:58,047 ♪ Bells toll at free home ♪ 173 00:06:58,072 --> 00:07:01,736 ♪ And time a-runnin' around... ♪ 174 00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:06,799 I feel like I'm in some sort of a fairy tale. 175 00:07:07,478 --> 00:07:08,728 Maybe you are. 176 00:07:08,753 --> 00:07:10,916 ♪ Be in that town... ♪ 177 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,033 Let me see these. 178 00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:26,853 These beans are eight years old. 179 00:07:26,928 --> 00:07:28,673 I have given you and your dad 180 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,025 a lot of Internet. 181 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,814 Tell your dad not one more megabyte of Internet 182 00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:35,767 if he keeps bringing me expired beans. 183 00:07:36,218 --> 00:07:37,322 My Lord. 184 00:07:37,909 --> 00:07:38,909 Dear diary, 185 00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:42,306 had another encounter with the bean boy. 186 00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:44,400 Oh, well, look who it is! 187 00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:46,314 The mascot from the Men's Wearhouse. 188 00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:48,666 Well, I'm running the rodeo without Mom now. 189 00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,029 You? 190 00:07:52,216 --> 00:07:54,603 I mean, if Mom wanted to destroy the rodeo, 191 00:07:54,628 --> 00:07:57,447 she could've at least burned it down for the insurance money. 192 00:07:57,472 --> 00:07:59,257 - Yeah. - That makes sense. 193 00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:00,666 Hey, Dale, you have a lot of stuff here. 194 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:03,821 Do you have any barbed wire, chains, or locks that I could borrow? 195 00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:05,486 I have a lot of stuff here, yeah. 196 00:08:05,511 --> 00:08:06,511 Why? 197 00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:08,845 Well, Reverend Kwon has rented the rodeo 198 00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:10,299 for a youth conference for one night, 199 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,324 and they're having a talent show, 200 00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:12,753 and I just wanted to beef up security. 201 00:08:12,864 --> 00:08:14,128 Why? Was there an incident? 202 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,370 No. 203 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,662 Are you sure? 'Cause it sounds like 204 00:08:16,687 --> 00:08:18,824 - there was a incident. - Well, okay, 205 00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:20,488 some skater kids broke in last night 206 00:08:20,513 --> 00:08:21,855 and they were just messing around. 207 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,292 Skater kids? 208 00:08:23,658 --> 00:08:25,064 Damn this youth culture. 209 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,306 - Yeah, it's not a big deal, though. - Yeah, it is a big deal. 210 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:29,806 I know this Bakersfield trash and all they want to do 211 00:08:29,831 --> 00:08:32,424 is take away the fun from these good Christian kids. 212 00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:33,900 Yeah, I just wanted to secure the gates 213 00:08:33,925 --> 00:08:35,267 a little bit more, that's all. 214 00:08:35,292 --> 00:08:36,300 I'll tell you what. 215 00:08:36,652 --> 00:08:38,054 You're not very competent, right? 216 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,095 I think everybody can agree on that. 217 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,488 I'm gonna help you with these twerps. 218 00:08:41,513 --> 00:08:43,924 - No, I-I don't, I don't need your help. - Listen. 219 00:08:43,949 --> 00:08:46,174 I think I can help you, I mean, I'm trying to shift my life 220 00:08:46,199 --> 00:08:48,275 a little bit, but I-I can't let the family business 221 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,564 just be this vulnerable. 222 00:08:49,644 --> 00:08:50,644 All right? 223 00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:53,252 And you're dealing with wild teenagers, 224 00:08:53,414 --> 00:08:57,150 so you're gonna need a wild man to deal with them. 225 00:08:57,734 --> 00:08:59,689 And I'll throw in the chains and the barbed wire 226 00:08:59,714 --> 00:09:01,916 and the locks for free. Okay? 227 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,033 Deal? 228 00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:06,322 - Okay. - Okeydokey. 229 00:09:06,431 --> 00:09:07,689 See you at the rodeo. 230 00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:10,213 I'm looking forward to it. 231 00:09:12,528 --> 00:09:15,231 Okay, where was I? 232 00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,470 Oh, beans. 233 00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:18,416 Does anybody have any white-out? 234 00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:20,353 Yeah! White power! 235 00:09:20,378 --> 00:09:22,635 No, I said white-out, not white power. 236 00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,107 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 237 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,968 Watch out for the booby trap, please. 238 00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:32,463 What? What is all this? 239 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,320 It's a booby trap. So what I have is a trip line there 240 00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:37,760 and it's going right up to that pulley, that pulley takes it 241 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,080 to that pulley, and the rope goes all the way 242 00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:43,108 to this box, and if you hit the trip wire there, 243 00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:45,603 this cinder will come and smack you right in the face. 244 00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:49,017 Dale, we're gonna catch them okay? 245 00:09:49,042 --> 00:09:50,142 We're not gonna kill them. 246 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:52,119 Then why'd I bring all my guns? 247 00:09:52,144 --> 00:09:54,947 I mean, this is a "stand your ground" situation. 248 00:09:54,972 --> 00:09:56,666 Because we just want to teach them a lesson. 249 00:09:56,691 --> 00:09:58,353 Teach them a lesson? 250 00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,306 Chip, you are naive. 251 00:10:00,331 --> 00:10:02,306 The only lesson that these kids understand 252 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,424 is a cinderblock to the face. 253 00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:07,885 Okay, I'll see you around, Dale. Have a good one. 254 00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:12,877 Well, that would've hurt, wouldn't it have? 255 00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:14,806 Yeah, that would've killed me. 256 00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:19,291 What? Dale? 257 00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,166 Oh, God! 258 00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,439 Oh, those two. 259 00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,432 - Well, we're here. - Oh! 260 00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:27,949 Oh, my God, you're a giant. 261 00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,088 Is that even legal? 262 00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:32,982 We're not talking total recall here? 263 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,642 No, no, no. We're a long way from recall. 264 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,814 Yeah. Don't even say recall, don't even speak that word. 265 00:10:36,839 --> 00:10:38,072 I'll be just a minute, honey. 266 00:10:51,488 --> 00:10:52,838 Berber. 267 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,517 Private? 268 00:10:58,104 --> 00:10:59,104 Hmm. 269 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:13,797 Christine? 270 00:11:13,822 --> 00:11:14,869 Ken? 271 00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:16,158 Ah. 272 00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:17,486 - I'm snooping. - There you are. 273 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,775 Oh, what's all this? 274 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,791 Well, when I first got into the business, 275 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,869 I kind of held back some of the high-end stuff for myself. 276 00:11:26,365 --> 00:11:29,111 This is genuine Moroccan Alpaca. 277 00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:31,697 I got it at Salt Lake at an auction in the '90s. 278 00:11:31,722 --> 00:11:34,978 Auction? Kenny, you at an auction? Oh, my God. 279 00:11:35,331 --> 00:11:37,338 Well, I mean, there is an art to it. 280 00:11:37,649 --> 00:11:40,142 Yeah, the, uh, the home and business carpeting, 281 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,814 that's my bread and butter, but this? 282 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:44,439 Oh, this is my passion. That's why it's gonna be 283 00:11:44,464 --> 00:11:46,619 - so hard to turn it loose. - Huh. 284 00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:48,752 You know, I don't think the girls are gonna be able 285 00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:50,150 to join us for lunch. 286 00:11:50,175 --> 00:11:51,713 They have so much to do here, 287 00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:54,947 but we better get going. Gloria is probably almost there. 288 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,939 Gloria? Your ex-wife? 289 00:11:56,964 --> 00:11:59,783 Oh, Christine, yeah, I forgot to tell you. 290 00:11:59,808 --> 00:12:02,760 She heard we were in town and she really wanted to meet you. 291 00:12:02,785 --> 00:12:05,463 So we better get going if we're gonna get there by 1:00. 292 00:12:05,488 --> 00:12:06,681 I'll meet you out front. 293 00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:08,040 Okay. 294 00:12:09,877 --> 00:12:11,181 The right purchase order...? 295 00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:13,244 I've been staking the place for about an hour 296 00:12:13,269 --> 00:12:15,650 and I can't find your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turds. 297 00:12:15,675 --> 00:12:18,775 - Where are the teenagers? - Dale, I don't know. I mean, 298 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,036 for all I know they-they... I scared them off last night. 299 00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:22,650 Now leave me alone. I've got some work to do 300 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,158 for the Youth Conference tomorrow. 301 00:12:24,183 --> 00:12:26,088 Chip, when are you gonna take this stuff seriously? 302 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,338 I mean, there's been a breach, I think, here, 303 00:12:28,363 --> 00:12:29,456 and it's important that... 304 00:12:30,578 --> 00:12:31,578 What was that? 305 00:12:32,121 --> 00:12:33,791 Let me check the security camera. 306 00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:35,385 You have surveillance on there? 307 00:12:35,753 --> 00:12:36,861 Oh, look at this. 308 00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:40,369 Oh, yeah, right where I want 'em. 309 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,353 Let's go get 'em. 310 00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,111 Yeah. 311 00:12:45,354 --> 00:12:48,291 I mean, what bothers me about it it's in broad daylight. 312 00:12:48,422 --> 00:12:51,916 These Bakersfield kids have no couth. None. 313 00:12:53,534 --> 00:12:54,595 You like that? 314 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:56,908 - Okay, what's the plan? - The plan is, you wouldn't 315 00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,681 let me bring my gun, so I had to go to the hen house 316 00:12:58,706 --> 00:12:59,877 to get some weaponry. Move. 317 00:12:59,902 --> 00:13:01,463 - Dale! - Move! 318 00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:03,978 Hey! How do you like your eggs, boys? 319 00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:06,330 - Whoa! We got to go. - How do you like your eggs? 320 00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:09,385 You better run, you street urchins! Run! 321 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,260 - Oh, yeah! - They're kids, Dale. 322 00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:13,041 I'll strike you and your parents! 323 00:13:14,572 --> 00:13:15,572 Oh! 324 00:13:15,597 --> 00:13:17,189 What are you gonna do now, son? 325 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,822 Huh? You want to dance, do you? 326 00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:20,619 - Do you want to dance? Huh? - Dale. 327 00:13:20,644 --> 00:13:22,174 - Dale, put the eggs down. - Yeah. Oh. 328 00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:23,228 Not now, Chip. 329 00:13:23,253 --> 00:13:24,290 - Whoa, there's two of 'em? - What are you gonna do now? 330 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:25,909 - Oh. Oh. - Dale. 331 00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:27,166 Come on, let's go! 332 00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:28,222 Move, Chip! 333 00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:32,369 - You better run! You pieces of shit! - Go, go, go, go! Go! Run! 334 00:13:35,838 --> 00:13:37,728 Booby trap was a bust. 335 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,916 Well, you were no help, Chip! 336 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,174 That's for sure. That's how it's done, son. 337 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,267 Right there. 338 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,931 - You okay? - Yeah. 339 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,642 Yeah. Yeah, Dale, I'm fine. 340 00:13:51,759 --> 00:13:53,720 _ 341 00:13:54,182 --> 00:13:55,610 Well, this is war. 342 00:14:00,127 --> 00:14:01,127 And that's when 343 00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:04,392 you used to drag us every year on those ski trips. 344 00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:06,323 Oh, Monica and Ivy loved it. 345 00:14:06,348 --> 00:14:07,571 Are you kidding? 346 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,353 They used to spend the entire day 347 00:14:09,378 --> 00:14:11,838 with me in the lodge while he was out skiing. 348 00:14:11,863 --> 00:14:14,875 He's a great skier. Did he tell you that? 349 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,431 No. 350 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,799 I'll be back. Restroom. 351 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,291 You still do that. 352 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,822 He can't stand compliments. 353 00:14:22,847 --> 00:14:23,847 Mm. 354 00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:28,510 So, um... 355 00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:30,759 How-how is... 356 00:14:31,123 --> 00:14:33,619 the house coming along? 357 00:14:34,369 --> 00:14:36,252 The house is fine. 358 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,767 You know, you can ask me anything. 359 00:14:39,852 --> 00:14:42,783 I know you set this little rendezvous up. 360 00:14:42,861 --> 00:14:44,228 - What-what do you mean? - I mean... 361 00:14:44,677 --> 00:14:46,049 Well, he's gone to urinate. 362 00:14:46,074 --> 00:14:47,572 Now you can ask me anything you want 363 00:14:47,597 --> 00:14:49,533 about myself or why I'm here 364 00:14:49,558 --> 00:14:51,588 or how I swooped in and took your... 365 00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:52,986 place. 366 00:14:53,011 --> 00:14:55,119 Oh, no. No, no, no. 367 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,392 Christine, I'm-I'm sure... 368 00:14:57,681 --> 00:15:00,274 Ken forgot to tell you that we were having lunch today. 369 00:15:01,352 --> 00:15:02,876 That's just like Ken. 370 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:05,188 I-I'm so sorry, Christine. 371 00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:08,749 I-I'm sure this must really be awkward for you. 372 00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:10,805 Well, I thought... I mean, I... 373 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:13,374 I-I didn't know why you'd want to meet me. 374 00:15:13,399 --> 00:15:15,289 Well, I've heard so much about you. 375 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:19,843 And I really wanted you to know that there's absolutely no, 376 00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,554 no bad blood at all between Ken and I. 377 00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,762 We just didn't work as a couple. 378 00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:26,734 We work great as friends. 379 00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:28,085 But you? 380 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,471 You guys work great as a couple. 381 00:15:30,617 --> 00:15:32,514 Oh. I'm so embarrassed. 382 00:15:32,548 --> 00:15:34,749 Oh, don't be. Don't be. 383 00:15:34,774 --> 00:15:36,101 I don't know. Just the other day, 384 00:15:36,126 --> 00:15:38,343 I was in Bakersfield, and now I'm in Denver. 385 00:15:38,368 --> 00:15:39,536 And I'm with the Carpet King 386 00:15:39,561 --> 00:15:41,039 and his ex-wife. 387 00:15:41,064 --> 00:15:42,859 And the air is so damn thin here, 388 00:15:42,884 --> 00:15:44,328 I can hardly think. 389 00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:47,421 To think, I was gonna spray you 390 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,014 with my pepper spray. 391 00:15:49,203 --> 00:15:51,421 Well, listen, I'm glad we cleared that up. 392 00:15:52,187 --> 00:15:54,687 Well, I probably would have ended up spraying myself. 393 00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:58,127 This, this meat could have used some more pepper. 394 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,178 - You don't like the place? - There's no seasoning. 395 00:16:02,203 --> 00:16:04,718 - Well, it's Denver. - Well, it's Denver. 396 00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:08,429 Listen, I'm... I'm so glad to meet you. 397 00:16:08,577 --> 00:16:10,039 You really are lovely. 398 00:16:10,398 --> 00:16:11,665 Thank you, Gloria. 399 00:16:11,849 --> 00:16:14,570 Anyone he's willing to leave Denver for 400 00:16:14,595 --> 00:16:16,120 has got to be amazing. 401 00:16:16,281 --> 00:16:17,913 He loves it here. 402 00:16:18,114 --> 00:16:19,319 Thank you. 403 00:16:20,929 --> 00:16:22,078 Chip? 404 00:16:22,952 --> 00:16:24,140 Hey, Chip? 405 00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:26,937 - Hey! - Oh, hey! 406 00:16:26,962 --> 00:16:29,023 Yes, oh, hi, Reverend Kwon, how are you, Father? 407 00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,874 Things are great. Listen, um, 408 00:16:30,899 --> 00:16:33,164 are we on track for the talent show tomorrow night? 409 00:16:33,305 --> 00:16:35,281 Yeah. Everything's on track. 410 00:16:35,306 --> 00:16:37,941 And nobody's gonna disturb the performances whatsoever. 411 00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:39,507 Okay. Chip? 412 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,812 Big news: we're livestreaming this. 413 00:16:41,837 --> 00:16:44,106 - Oh, I love a livestream. - Yeah! 414 00:16:44,131 --> 00:16:45,765 Listen, I got to get back there. 415 00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,789 There's 2,000 kids tearing a hole 416 00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:49,771 in an assistant youth pastor as we speak. 417 00:16:49,796 --> 00:16:52,181 Uh, but, uh, I will see you tomorrow night, okay? 418 00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:54,592 Okay. Thank you, Dad... uh, Father. 419 00:16:54,617 --> 00:16:56,016 Looks good. Keep it up! 420 00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:59,562 - Oh, that cobbler. - Right? Um, you're welcome. 421 00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,343 Oh, I'll need that recipe. 422 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,501 Well, I'll-I'll be sure to fax it to you. 423 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:05,985 Hey, girls, 424 00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:09,056 what exactly is a carpet emergency? 425 00:17:09,081 --> 00:17:10,509 Oh, it's the new stain repellent 426 00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:12,710 on this low-pile industrial carpeting. 427 00:17:12,735 --> 00:17:14,469 You know how they say that to get the stain up, 428 00:17:14,494 --> 00:17:16,129 you just need to dab at the carpet? 429 00:17:16,154 --> 00:17:18,298 - Yeah. - Well, when you dab this one, 430 00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,423 it catches on fire. 431 00:17:19,448 --> 00:17:21,931 - Oh. That's not good. - Right. 432 00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:24,423 - Mm, no. Mm-mm. - Well, I just got off the phone 433 00:17:24,448 --> 00:17:26,899 - with Hank at the distributors. - Oh, don't even... 434 00:17:26,924 --> 00:17:29,026 - Don't say nothing. - It looks like it's gonna be 435 00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:30,946 a complete product recall. 436 00:17:31,495 --> 00:17:33,337 There goes my weekends for the next two months. 437 00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:35,119 - Yeah. - Christine, I'm sorry, but it looks 438 00:17:35,144 --> 00:17:38,047 like we're gonna have to be in Denver a lot longer than I thought. 439 00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:40,737 Oh. Well, yeah. 440 00:17:41,213 --> 00:17:42,213 Oh, well, you know, 441 00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:45,368 this just means that we get to have you a little bit longer. 442 00:17:45,393 --> 00:17:46,744 Yeah! 443 00:17:46,769 --> 00:17:48,182 Daddy home. 444 00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:54,557 - Dude, go, go, go, go! - Dude, come on, man! Let's go! 445 00:18:01,408 --> 00:18:03,060 Hey, guys? Guys? 446 00:18:03,085 --> 00:18:04,315 Look, I'm sorry to have to do this, 447 00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,776 but you're gonna have to learn a lesson. 448 00:18:06,324 --> 00:18:07,963 There's something called, you know, 449 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,994 personal responsibility, 450 00:18:10,019 --> 00:18:12,338 - and... - All right, bro. 451 00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:16,838 Okay, who would like to get stabbed first? 452 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,057 - Knife! - Get out of here, ya punks! 453 00:18:19,082 --> 00:18:21,484 Dale, Dale, Dale... Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale! Stop! 454 00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:24,248 - Just let me stab the children! - Stop. Guys. Dale. 455 00:18:24,273 --> 00:18:25,987 Dale. Come down, please. 456 00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:28,446 You boys circumcised? 457 00:18:28,471 --> 00:18:30,197 Or you got those hippy wieners? 458 00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,049 - Huh? - We're sorry. 459 00:18:32,074 --> 00:18:33,362 We know we shouldn't have broken in here. 460 00:18:33,387 --> 00:18:35,479 We're just bored. Okay? There's nothing to do. 461 00:18:35,504 --> 00:18:36,854 Okay, I'm sorry, guys. 462 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:38,630 You okay? 463 00:18:41,626 --> 00:18:42,750 All right, I have an idea. 464 00:18:42,775 --> 00:18:44,431 Oh, God, what is it? 465 00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,681 What the hell is this? 466 00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:50,595 Oh, Dale. 467 00:18:50,812 --> 00:18:53,290 Ugh, I don't have time for this tonight. 468 00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:57,748 Sorry we have to stick around, Christine. 469 00:18:57,977 --> 00:18:59,657 Oh, I understand. 470 00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:00,682 It's okay. 471 00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:03,133 Something's bothering you. 472 00:19:04,446 --> 00:19:06,571 - No. - I swear, we... 473 00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:09,758 I, I will only be here one, two weeks, tops. 474 00:19:09,909 --> 00:19:11,298 It's not that. 475 00:19:12,061 --> 00:19:13,477 It's just that... 476 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,071 Is it worth it? 477 00:19:17,883 --> 00:19:19,196 Is what worth it? 478 00:19:19,371 --> 00:19:21,196 Moving to Bakersfield. 479 00:19:21,837 --> 00:19:23,493 You've got your family, 480 00:19:23,518 --> 00:19:25,196 you're the Carpet King, 481 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,978 you practically know everybody. 482 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:31,954 And this city... I mean, it's magical. 483 00:19:31,979 --> 00:19:33,946 When I drove from the airport, 484 00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,110 it looked we were coming into Oz. 485 00:19:36,752 --> 00:19:40,102 Yeah, Denver is really a magical city, isn't it? 486 00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:43,126 I mean, that's, uh, that's what I'm asking you, Ken. 487 00:19:43,886 --> 00:19:45,399 Is it worth it? 488 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,063 Oh, Christine. 489 00:19:50,110 --> 00:19:52,462 You are worth that and more. 490 00:19:54,988 --> 00:19:55,988 Thank you. 491 00:19:57,754 --> 00:19:59,782 I think I saw Dale with a kn... 492 00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:01,313 a knife or... 493 00:20:01,346 --> 00:20:02,346 Oh. 494 00:20:03,126 --> 00:20:05,305 Oh, yeah. Never mind. I don't know. 495 00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:07,790 I don't know what I saw. 496 00:20:10,391 --> 00:20:12,102 Oh, the Internet. 497 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,001 - Look at this. Not bad. - Yeah! 498 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,047 Soon, I'll be doing one of those... 499 00:20:28,072 --> 00:20:29,313 What are they called? Half-pipe? 500 00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,141 This is a lot of good fun. 501 00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,446 I'll get the hang of it. 502 00:20:32,658 --> 00:20:34,001 - Oh... - Hey. 503 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:35,361 - What? - Dale, can I just... 504 00:20:35,386 --> 00:20:37,352 Guys, I just wanted to say, uh... 505 00:20:37,377 --> 00:20:40,102 it's a pleasure to know you, and uh, 506 00:20:40,127 --> 00:20:43,991 good luck in your adult lives, and, uh, growing up to be men. 507 00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:45,602 - Hear, hear. - Cheers. 508 00:20:45,627 --> 00:20:47,962 Keenan! Gerran! Esteban! Wha... 509 00:20:47,987 --> 00:20:49,055 What are you doing? 510 00:20:49,591 --> 00:20:51,337 Do you know how many people are looking for you? 511 00:20:51,858 --> 00:20:54,141 You get back to the hotel right now! 512 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,477 Right now! I am calling your mothers! 513 00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,329 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 514 00:20:59,354 --> 00:21:00,993 You know those guys? 515 00:21:01,018 --> 00:21:02,298 They're from "You Alive." 516 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,321 The-the conference? 517 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,704 - They're my kids. - Those are the kids from "You Alive"? 518 00:21:06,729 --> 00:21:08,102 The-The youth conference thing? 519 00:21:08,127 --> 00:21:11,748 They are 15 years old. 15. 520 00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:12,773 15? 521 00:21:13,298 --> 00:21:15,077 Chip, you didn't tell me they were 15. 522 00:21:15,102 --> 00:21:16,712 I... I-I-I didn't... 523 00:21:16,737 --> 00:21:18,860 I thought one of them looked old enough to be a doctor. 524 00:21:18,921 --> 00:21:21,126 You guys are partying with minors. 525 00:21:21,558 --> 00:21:23,274 That is a Class A felony. 526 00:21:23,299 --> 00:21:25,470 Well, they were tagging up the-the stadium. 527 00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:26,954 - Tagging up your place? - I mean... 528 00:21:26,979 --> 00:21:28,337 What do you want me... I mean, 529 00:21:28,362 --> 00:21:29,829 I just I was trying to compromise with them. 530 00:21:29,854 --> 00:21:32,743 I was trying to show them that, you know, 531 00:21:33,329 --> 00:21:34,743 - I was willing to work with... - Chip. 532 00:21:34,768 --> 00:21:35,990 You have to grow up. 533 00:21:36,848 --> 00:21:38,712 You have to... You have to act your age. 534 00:21:38,812 --> 00:21:41,103 - Okay? - Sorry, I... 535 00:21:41,128 --> 00:21:42,571 You have to get it together. 536 00:21:48,419 --> 00:21:49,478 Thank you, Rev! 537 00:21:50,980 --> 00:21:52,462 "You got to get it together!" 538 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,485 Well, he sounds like a lot of people in your life. 539 00:21:55,024 --> 00:21:56,024 Doesn't he? 540 00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:59,095 Oh, my God, you just got told off by an Asian preacher. 541 00:21:59,335 --> 00:22:01,720 I've heard about everything now. 542 00:22:03,378 --> 00:22:04,915 Dale, I'm sorry for dragging you into this. 543 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,032 I-I didn't know that... 544 00:22:06,057 --> 00:22:08,353 Oh, don't worry about it, I'm having a blast. 545 00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:09,841 Really? 546 00:22:11,135 --> 00:22:13,073 That was a bad judgment call on my end. 547 00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,253 I-I-I-I-I don't know what I was thinking. 548 00:22:15,278 --> 00:22:18,148 Well, you were pretty good with those kids. You were, you know? 549 00:22:18,612 --> 00:22:20,424 You're coming around, old boy. 550 00:22:22,651 --> 00:22:24,448 You're a good CEO. 551 00:22:25,541 --> 00:22:27,526 Thank you, Dale. Hey, can you toss me another beer? 552 00:22:27,551 --> 00:22:29,495 Yeah. You need another one of these. 553 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:30,659 This will take a load off. 554 00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:33,718 You suck. 555 00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:35,832 You should have caught that, that was right to you. 556 00:22:35,857 --> 00:22:37,003 I'll get it. 557 00:22:42,118 --> 00:22:43,722 You really think I'm a good CEO? 558 00:22:43,747 --> 00:22:45,425 Sure, you're a great CEO. 559 00:22:45,746 --> 00:22:47,173 I mean, I don't know what it means, but... 560 00:22:47,198 --> 00:22:48,198 Thanks, Dale. 561 00:22:48,223 --> 00:22:49,223 D'oh. 562 00:22:52,259 --> 00:22:54,659 I can't drive you to the hospital, Chip. 563 00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:56,206 I'm too wasted. 564 00:22:56,661 --> 00:22:58,295 Hey, Pastor Dan! 565 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,222 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com