1
00:00:00,414 --> 00:00:02,203
I'm a drop-off dad.
2
00:00:02,281 --> 00:00:03,687
It's a time to really connect
3
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,165
with Jack and Diane.
4
00:00:05,211 --> 00:00:06,976
And I'm in good company.
5
00:00:07,054 --> 00:00:08,955
Jay-Z is a drop-off dad,
6
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,175
John Legend is a drop-off dad,
7
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,778
Terry Crews is a drop-off dad.
8
00:00:13,846 --> 00:00:15,680
But he probably works out first.
9
00:00:15,748 --> 00:00:17,315
And I whipped her right in,
10
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,251
and all of the spots in the parking lot
11
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,586
said "compact"!
12
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,787
- Wait, again?
- Yes!
13
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:24,496
So, the city didn't listen
to your e-mails?
14
00:00:24,574 --> 00:00:25,489
Right?
15
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,891
Well, I mean, this car's
not gonna fit in there.
16
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,261
- What did you do?
- I do what I always do.
17
00:00:29,324 --> 00:00:30,661
- Mm.
- I took two spots.
18
00:00:30,737 --> 00:00:33,037
N-Now, the key is to make it look like
19
00:00:33,132 --> 00:00:34,726
you weren't trying to take two spots.
20
00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:35,900
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, like there was
21
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,069
a car that messed up
before you got there.
22
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:40,271
Uh, you know what I'm
talking about, right, Diane?
23
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,073
- Mm-hmm.
- See?
24
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,274
Diane gets it.
25
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,109
Well, I mean, you know,
ain't nobody compact
26
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,580
going to Del Taco at 10:00 a.m.
27
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,280
Is that a shot?
28
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,782
Huh?
29
00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:53,317
Get out of my car, Jack.
30
00:00:53,419 --> 00:00:55,253
- Wait, what?
- Get out of my car, Jack!
31
00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:56,254
Go to class!
32
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,956
Hey, can you believe this sucka, Diane?
33
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:00,358
Eh...
34
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:01,626
Diane.
35
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,628
Diane.
36
00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:05,301
Are you listening to me?
37
00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:06,731
What was that?
38
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,835
How long have you
been wearing headphones?
39
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,003
I don't know.
40
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,471
When did you start driving us to school?
41
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,805
Hey...
42
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:16,474
Okay, well, you know what?
43
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,175
We'll talk about this later, baby girl.
44
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,211
I love...
45
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,379
...you.
46
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,813
Damn.
47
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,942
This drop-off dad just got dropped.
48
00:01:26,293 --> 00:01:27,985
I got a horn, too!
49
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,988
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
50
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06x07 - Daughters For Dummies
51
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:36,894
Uh, what's wrong, Dre?
52
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:38,262
Did you find out that your sneakers
53
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,864
are made by small children? Is that it?
54
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,265
God, it's so unfair.
55
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:42,500
They can make your high-tops,
56
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,769
but they can't clean
the barnacles off my yacht.
57
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,470
No.
58
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:47,505
It's Diane.
59
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,974
I believe it's pronounced "demon," Dre.
60
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,275
I...
61
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:54,545
I just found out she wears
noise-canceling headphones
62
00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:55,646
on our drive to school.
63
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:56,781
That's not so bad.
64
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,683
I'm the noise she's trying to cancel.
65
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,151
Ohhh.
66
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,285
And I don't know what's going on.
67
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,988
Our morning drives is our time to bond.
68
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,389
I mean, we would roll down the windows
69
00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:08,715
and take turns doing
Mariah Carey vocal runs.
70
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,294
I don't understand it.
71
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,496
The older she gets, the harder
it is for us to connect.
72
00:02:12,598 --> 00:02:15,700
I, too, am more afraid
of Diane growing older.
73
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,135
It's the older demons that
you have to watch out for.
74
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,705
They... They tend to act the fool.
75
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,373
Dre, it's okay.
76
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:23,974
It's totally normal for teenagers
77
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,776
to not want to talk to their parents.
78
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,312
And for parents to not want
to talk to their kids
79
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:31,282
and send you away to boarding school.
80
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,616
And boarding camp.
81
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:35,986
Boarding Christmas.
82
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,289
I never thought I'd say this
to a Caucasian,
83
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,881
but, man, I feel bad for you.
84
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:45,396
The guys made me realize that
I had to do something quick,
85
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,241
or Diane would be sending me
to boarding Christmas.
86
00:02:48,311 --> 00:02:49,377
To my son, David,
87
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,736
following my footsteps into
the family business.
88
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,237
- Oh, to David!
- Yes.
89
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,372
Oh, my gosh.
90
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,040
UCLA Medical School?
91
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,275
Unbelievable.
How proud are you right now?
92
00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,910
- The proudest.
- Ohh.
93
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:01,912
What about you, Bow?
What's Junior up to?
94
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,147
Junior is...
95
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:05,783
Um, he's killing it.
96
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,284
- Yeah?
- Yeah, he took a job in tech.
97
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,319
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,454
You know that, um... the app ChoreBoar?
99
00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:11,789
- Of course.
- Oh, my God.
100
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,057
I mean, I don't want to toot his horn,
101
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,092
but he's, like... pshew... fast track.
102
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,428
Making that Silicon Valley money.
103
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,562
Nice.
104
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,731
I mean, he's like a regular...
105
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,166
black Bill Gates.
106
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,567
- That is huge.
- It's so big.
107
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,948
Delivery for Dr. Feinberg?
108
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,507
Oh, hey, Mom!
109
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,841
Hey.
110
00:03:30,943 --> 00:03:31,942
Oh, boy.
111
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,278
Bow, when you said
he worked at ChoreBoar,
112
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,347
you made it sound like he was the CEO.
113
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,115
Mom, what did you tell him?
114
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,217
- I was telling him...
- Yeah, hold on.
115
00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:42,286
- I got to finish this delivery.
- Okay.
116
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,755
Thanks.
117
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:45,923
Tch, tch, tch.
118
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,291
You've been ChoreBoar'd.
119
00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:49,894
Are you ashamed of me?
120
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,762
Oh, of course not.
121
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,964
I-I thought you were
gonna be supportive.
122
00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:55,966
I'm sorry, Junior.
123
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:58,436
But in my defense, I didn't
expect you to be here.
124
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,004
Well, I guess maybe I should just...
125
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,239
stop taking deliveries to the hospital,
126
00:04:02,341 --> 00:04:05,109
- because my job embarrasses you so much.
- Okay.
127
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,344
- You feel flustered.
- Even though the gastric bypass patients
128
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,879
are my best customers.
129
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:11,015
Junior, come on. It was a white lie.
130
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,416
It's like...
131
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:15,186
- Mom, I'm working to support myself...
- Mm-hmm.
132
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,720
- ...like you wanted me to.
- Yep.
133
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,522
Now, if you'll excuse me,
134
00:04:18,624 --> 00:04:21,058
got to go hang a TV
at a retirement home.
135
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,560
That's my kid.
136
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,527
Ha!
137
00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:25,162
Piece of my celebration cake?
138
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,164
Choke on it, Feinberg.
139
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:32,536
So, I went home to fix
my relationship with Diane,
140
00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:35,406
one baked good at a time.
141
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,241
Hey, Diane!
142
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,877
For no reason, I bought you
a cranberry scone.
143
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,446
Mm, not really a dinner-scone person.
144
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,081
Oh, I got to take this.
145
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:54,124
Hey, whoa!
146
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,693
Was that scone still good?
147
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,027
Not good enough to save
148
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:58,762
- my relationship with my daughter.
- Uh-huh.
149
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,364
I don't know how
I'm gonna bridge this gap.
150
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,099
All right, you don't understand
what will happen
151
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,802
if Diane doesn't have a strong
relationship with her father.
152
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,275
Girls with daddy issues...
153
00:05:06,353 --> 00:05:07,605
they make terrible choices in life.
154
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,139
Bow, they...
155
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,608
They date horrible guys.
156
00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:12,322
They end up being strippers!
157
00:05:12,369 --> 00:05:13,711
Uh...
158
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,248
Diane is not gonna become a stripper.
159
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,049
Strippers can wear glasses, too, Bow.
160
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:19,884
I've seen it.
161
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,352
- Okay.
- I've seen it!
162
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:24,822
I've known a lot of girls
with daddy issues, all right?
163
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:26,156
A lot. All right?
164
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:28,526
There was, uh, Watana, Ruthie,
165
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,828
Demi, Dawn, LaShawn...
166
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,162
There was her sister...
167
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:33,264
- I can't even remember her name.
- What?
168
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,833
I don't know who those poor ladies are,
169
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:39,036
but you are blowing this
out of proportion.
170
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,839
I don't even know how to hold a
conversation with Diane anymore.
171
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,275
It's like I'm a stagehand
trying to talk to Rihanna.
172
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,277
You can't take it personally.
173
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,746
Right now, there are two Dianes.
174
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,715
Sometimes, she's my best friend,
and other times,
175
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,697
I do not want to walk
down the stairs in front of her.
176
00:05:53,791 --> 00:05:56,687
But I want
the best friend Diane right now.
177
00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:57,755
Well, you can't just get it, Dre.
178
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,456
She's a 13-year-old girl.
179
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,392
She shows up when she shows up.
180
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,793
And what you need to know
181
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:06,764
is that you are not in control.
182
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:11,402
You just got to...
wait for the right wave.
183
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,704
Well, when is that right wave, Bow?
184
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:14,538
Huh?
185
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,640
Don't do anything, Dre.
186
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:18,042
Don't force it.
187
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,343
I can do that.
188
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,412
- Be patient.
- Okay.
189
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:25,015
- Okay, totally, totally.
- What?
190
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,650
- Totally.
- Dr... Dre?
191
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:27,618
Dre!
192
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,953
I know.
193
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,921
You can talk in the morning.
194
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:32,590
We're bonding.
195
00:06:36,341 --> 00:06:38,434
Bow could wait for waves if she wanted,
196
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:39,970
but I'm a man of action.
197
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:44,243
Call me Daddy Du-rag,
because I'm making waves.
198
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:47,727
What if I told you there was a film
199
00:06:47,796 --> 00:06:50,602
where a man was screaming for no reason
200
00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:53,047
and carrying a baseball bat in school?
201
00:06:53,117 --> 00:06:56,359
That movie is "Lean on Me."
202
00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:59,280
It stars a young old Morgan Freeman
203
00:06:59,382 --> 00:07:01,449
who uses a megaphone as a weapon.
204
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,222
Oh, you're gonna love it.
205
00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:04,617
All right, buckle up,
206
00:07:04,683 --> 00:07:07,321
because this is his first day
at a new school,
207
00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:09,105
and he's gonna come across some kids
208
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:11,692
who need somebody to lean on.
209
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,750
Why didn't you tell me
this was a period film?
210
00:07:14,797 --> 00:07:16,330
Because it's not.
211
00:07:16,399 --> 00:07:20,601
It was made in 1989 about 1989,
212
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:22,002
so it was new when it came out.
213
00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:24,405
- So was the Bible.
- Hey...
214
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:25,873
Do you see the way
215
00:07:25,942 --> 00:07:27,808
that Joe Clark is breaking the rules
216
00:07:27,877 --> 00:07:30,010
because he believes in those kids?
217
00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,345
I've never seen anything like it.
218
00:07:31,414 --> 00:07:33,547
You know you can't actually
chain kids inside a school,
219
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:34,882
because then it's a jail, right?
220
00:07:34,984 --> 00:07:36,250
No, he...
221
00:07:36,319 --> 00:07:38,919
he's protecting the kids
from the outside world.
222
00:07:38,988 --> 00:07:39,987
Can't you see that?
223
00:07:40,056 --> 00:07:41,755
Without their parents' consent?
224
00:07:41,858 --> 00:07:42,990
I'm just saying,
225
00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:44,792
if Ms. Biggs tried to chain me
inside a school,
226
00:07:44,861 --> 00:07:45,926
she'd need a bigger chain.
227
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:49,330
And I thought Coolio was in this movie.
228
00:07:49,398 --> 00:07:50,464
I...
229
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:52,266
Ohh...
230
00:07:52,335 --> 00:07:53,701
That Morgan Freeman knows
231
00:07:53,769 --> 00:07:55,736
how to whip youths into shape.
232
00:07:55,805 --> 00:07:57,738
And did you see how
they took the school's song
233
00:07:57,807 --> 00:07:58,939
and brought it up to date?
234
00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:01,542
It's like I'm sharing a piece of
my childhood with you.
235
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,444
How many times have you watched this?
236
00:08:03,546 --> 00:08:05,045
Like 20.
237
00:08:05,114 --> 00:08:06,547
And I know I talked a lot during it,
238
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,415
so, you know, we can watch it
again if you want.
239
00:08:08,518 --> 00:08:09,550
No, I'm good.
240
00:08:09,652 --> 00:08:11,585
But... Okay, you want to...
241
00:08:11,654 --> 00:08:13,053
want to do something else?
242
00:08:13,156 --> 00:08:14,522
Let me miss you, Dad.
243
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,162
My attempt to connect with
my child was a failure.
244
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:24,431
I had let myself
and Principal Joe Clark down.
245
00:08:26,669 --> 00:08:27,768
Hey, honey.
246
00:08:27,813 --> 00:08:28,836
Hey.
247
00:08:28,871 --> 00:08:31,673
I made you some ChoreBoar snacks.
248
00:08:33,342 --> 00:08:34,742
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
249
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:38,445
Sorry I'm not taking these
to my job at Google, Mother.
250
00:08:38,514 --> 00:08:41,382
Okay. Okay. Come on,
come on, come on, come on!
251
00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:42,550
Give me a break.
252
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,685
I'm sorry.
253
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,054
But... Just, doctors
are really competitive.
254
00:08:47,123 --> 00:08:49,723
And what was I supposed to do?
Brag about Zoey's Instagram?
255
00:08:49,825 --> 00:08:51,025
I mean...
256
00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:52,359
I needed a win.
257
00:08:52,428 --> 00:08:54,293
- Yeah, I get it.
- Thank you.
258
00:08:54,355 --> 00:08:56,769
And you know, I'm sorry I ripped
your head off right now.
259
00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,981
- Don't worry about it.
- I've just been a little stressed.
260
00:08:59,006 --> 00:08:59,949
I'm sorry.
261
00:08:59,996 --> 00:09:02,036
I got a call about coming in
for a job interview
262
00:09:02,138 --> 00:09:04,305
- for a full-time position, but...
- Oh!
263
00:09:04,373 --> 00:09:07,608
...I already committed to a
bunch of ChoreBoar tasks today.
264
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:08,509
- Oh.
- So...
265
00:09:08,578 --> 00:09:10,544
Oh, oh, oh! Wait a minute.
266
00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:15,783
I could do your ChoreBoar tasks
for you today.
267
00:09:15,885 --> 00:09:16,850
Are you serious?
268
00:09:16,919 --> 00:09:19,253
Junior, I believe in you,
269
00:09:19,322 --> 00:09:21,265
and I want you to know
that I have your back.
270
00:09:21,296 --> 00:09:22,315
Okay, great.
271
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:24,762
Well, you are going to be
taking a dog for a walk...
272
00:09:24,786 --> 00:09:26,560
- Okay.
- ...giving a ride to the airport,
273
00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:28,028
and doing an IKEA assembly.
274
00:09:28,097 --> 00:09:29,430
- For the dog walk...
- Mm-hmm.
275
00:09:29,498 --> 00:09:31,799
...you are gonna want to keep
an eye on Mr. Biggums.
276
00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:33,667
- He is a lot smarter than he looks.
- Got it.
277
00:09:33,769 --> 00:09:34,969
And for the IKEA assembly...
278
00:09:36,272 --> 00:09:37,404
Is it all on the phone?
279
00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:39,473
I'm a doctor, Junior. I got this.
280
00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:40,608
I can use a phone.
281
00:09:40,643 --> 00:09:42,176
Yeah, my bad. Uh, here you go.
282
00:09:42,245 --> 00:09:43,544
- Oh, my God. Okay.
- Thank you.
283
00:09:43,646 --> 00:09:44,712
- So, good luck.
- Thank you.
284
00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:45,879
Go get 'em!
285
00:09:45,982 --> 00:09:47,448
That's my boy.
286
00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:48,682
All right.
287
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:51,452
ChoreBoar. Chore... Okay.
288
00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:54,255
Nope, that's...
Okay, that's the flashlight.
289
00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:56,056
Jack!
290
00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:58,359
Come and help your mom!
291
00:09:58,427 --> 00:10:00,094
The movie thing was a bust,
292
00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:02,745
but I wasn't gonna give up
trying to bond with Diane.
293
00:10:06,335 --> 00:10:07,334
Hey.
294
00:10:07,403 --> 00:10:08,602
You want to go to the trampoline park
295
00:10:08,671 --> 00:10:09,903
and watch people get hurt?
296
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:10,886
No.
297
00:10:10,979 --> 00:10:12,946
I want to go to the mall
to return a shirt,
298
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,708
but there's a 30-day return policy,
299
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,143
and today's day 31.
300
00:10:16,178 --> 00:10:18,579
So, I'm just gonna take a nap.
301
00:10:21,684 --> 00:10:24,151
If I couldn't do something with her,
302
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,987
maybe I could do something for her.
303
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:30,291
Hey, I have 40 years' experience
304
00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:32,459
of watching my mother
yell at customer service reps
305
00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:33,527
at JCPenney's.
306
00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:35,362
Grab your shirt. Get in the car.
307
00:10:35,431 --> 00:10:38,165
We're going to the mall.
308
00:10:38,234 --> 00:10:40,734
While I was trying to solve
Diane's problem,
309
00:10:40,836 --> 00:10:42,636
Bow was doing the same for Junior.
310
00:10:42,738 --> 00:10:44,571
So, Junior,
311
00:10:44,674 --> 00:10:45,806
you always bring your son with you
312
00:10:45,908 --> 00:10:47,241
when you're driving people around?
313
00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:50,177
- Ah, yes, actually, I do.
- Mm-hmm.
314
00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:51,445
We're really close.
315
00:10:51,514 --> 00:10:53,113
I'm her little man.
316
00:10:53,215 --> 00:10:55,983
Oh, can we offer you
a loose mint or some tiny water?
317
00:10:56,052 --> 00:10:57,318
Uh, shouldn't you have
turned left back there?
318
00:10:57,378 --> 00:10:58,886
Oh, goodness. Oh, yeah.
319
00:10:58,941 --> 00:11:00,187
You know what? I'm so sorry.
320
00:11:00,256 --> 00:11:02,489
Sorry, I'm new to this whole
ChoreBoar thing.
321
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,892
Uh... I-I'm actually a doctor.
322
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,493
Yeah, right.
323
00:11:06,595 --> 00:11:07,628
No.
324
00:11:07,697 --> 00:11:09,029
I know, it's crazy, right?
325
00:11:09,098 --> 00:11:11,632
But, um, yeah, I'm an anesthesiologist.
326
00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:12,933
- Mm.
- Sure.
327
00:11:13,035 --> 00:11:14,368
Maybe in your country.
328
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,602
- My count...
- Hello?
329
00:11:15,671 --> 00:11:16,804
I'm in the car.
330
00:11:16,872 --> 00:11:18,739
No, it's a chick.
331
00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:22,109
I don't know... seven?
332
00:11:22,211 --> 00:11:23,577
A seven?
333
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:25,212
Are you kidding me?
334
00:11:25,281 --> 00:11:26,914
Spit in his water.
335
00:11:26,982 --> 00:11:28,148
Do it.
336
00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:30,884
This is nice, huh?
337
00:11:30,986 --> 00:11:32,152
It actually is.
338
00:11:32,254 --> 00:11:33,687
Being out of the car,
339
00:11:33,756 --> 00:11:35,422
getting a little exercise,
340
00:11:35,492 --> 00:11:36,658
some fresh air.
341
00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:38,154
Well, you didn't have to carry
342
00:11:38,179 --> 00:11:39,694
a baggy for two blocks.
343
00:11:39,729 --> 00:11:41,562
Ooh. Looks like somebody's thirsty.
344
00:11:41,645 --> 00:11:42,862
Yeah, I could use a good bottle
of water right...
345
00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:44,365
No, the dog, Jack.
346
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,833
Here, hold this.
Let me give him some water.
347
00:11:47,069 --> 00:11:48,102
- Oh! No!
- Oh, God. Wait, wait, no!
348
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:49,336
- Uh...
- No, no, no, no! No, no, no!
349
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:50,471
- Go get him! Oh, God!
- Oh, oh, oh. Uh...
350
00:11:50,539 --> 00:11:51,638
Oh, Mr. Biggums!
351
00:11:51,741 --> 00:11:52,506
Mr. Biggums!
352
00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:54,108
Mr. Biggums!
353
00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:56,210
Mm.
354
00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:58,379
All right. Let's just do this.
355
00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:01,482
Yeah, but, Mama,
356
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:04,251
I-I think this is
supposed to be a bookcase.
357
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,524
We have put together your bookshelf.
358
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:11,892
Mm. We did that.
359
00:12:11,961 --> 00:12:12,960
- Oh, yeah.
- Yep.
360
00:12:13,929 --> 00:12:14,962
Oh!
361
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,666
Tch, tch, tch.
362
00:12:19,769 --> 00:12:21,468
You've been ChoreBoar'd.
363
00:12:22,738 --> 00:12:25,072
Good God, that day was long.
364
00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,306
Oh, the longest.
365
00:12:26,409 --> 00:12:28,075
I need a soak.
366
00:12:28,177 --> 00:12:31,412
- Being a ChoreBoar is hard.
- Mm.
367
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,047
Those people are rude,
368
00:12:34,150 --> 00:12:35,921
and the tasks aren't
as easy as they seem.
369
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:37,918
- Mm-hmm.
- And I think I hate dogs now.
370
00:12:39,188 --> 00:12:40,754
I don't know how Junior does it.
371
00:12:40,823 --> 00:12:43,357
- Yeah. His life is hard.
- Mm.
372
00:12:43,426 --> 00:12:45,225
But not as hard as Mr. Biggums' life
373
00:12:45,327 --> 00:12:46,794
is going to be on the streets.
374
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,061
Oh, God.
375
00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:50,030
I walked into that mall
376
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:52,433
like a soldier walking into battle.
377
00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:56,570
Operation "Return Your Daughter's
Shirt So She Lets You Into Her Life"
378
00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:57,771
was a go.
379
00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,039
Okay, hold on.
380
00:12:59,141 --> 00:13:00,774
Wait right here.
381
00:13:00,876 --> 00:13:02,476
I got this.
382
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:08,549
Can I help you, sir?
383
00:13:08,651 --> 00:13:11,318
Yes, I'd, uh...
384
00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:14,455
like to return this shirt
for my daughter!
385
00:13:15,558 --> 00:13:16,723
Oh.
386
00:13:16,826 --> 00:13:19,226
- It's outside the 30-day window.
- Mm-hmm.
387
00:13:19,328 --> 00:13:21,695
I knew you'd say something like that.
388
00:13:21,797 --> 00:13:22,896
Please.
389
00:13:22,998 --> 00:13:24,631
Please, you got to take this back, man.
390
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,300
I-I don't know what I'd do.
391
00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:27,835
My daughter's 13. Right?
392
00:13:27,903 --> 00:13:29,269
She used to look at me like a god.
393
00:13:29,338 --> 00:13:30,571
I feel like I'm losing her,
394
00:13:30,639 --> 00:13:33,640
and now I'm just some dude
that can't get anything right.
395
00:13:33,742 --> 00:13:35,075
I'm begging you.
396
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,177
If I don't get this money back,
397
00:13:37,279 --> 00:13:38,946
I don't know.
398
00:13:40,082 --> 00:13:41,748
I don't know.
399
00:13:46,255 --> 00:13:47,754
- I get it.
- Oh.
400
00:13:47,823 --> 00:13:49,523
I have a teenage daughter, too, man.
401
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:53,961
She's got me in her phone
as "Captain Dumbass."
402
00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:55,329
Thank you.
403
00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:57,397
I owe you big time.
404
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,799
Now be quick about it, man!
405
00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:00,400
We ain't got all day!
406
00:14:00,469 --> 00:14:02,503
Heh. Captain Dumbass.
407
00:14:04,707 --> 00:14:06,640
Again, you are saving my life.
408
00:14:06,709 --> 00:14:08,275
- God bless you.
- Mm-hmm.
409
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:11,044
Thank you! For nothing.
410
00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:13,580
Wow.
411
00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:15,883
That guy's probably gonna
cry himself to sleep tonight.
412
00:14:15,951 --> 00:14:17,017
Thanks, Dad.
413
00:14:17,119 --> 00:14:18,585
Yeah, he's lucky I'm having a good day
414
00:14:18,687 --> 00:14:20,220
- or else I would've went in.
- Mm-hmm.
415
00:14:20,322 --> 00:14:21,955
Hey.
416
00:14:22,057 --> 00:14:23,824
Let's commemorate this victory
417
00:14:23,926 --> 00:14:26,026
with a father-daughter photo shoot.
418
00:14:26,128 --> 00:14:26,960
Come on. Come on.
419
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:27,928
Anybody in there?
420
00:14:29,365 --> 00:14:30,631
Let's go, baby girl!
421
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:33,066
All right.
422
00:14:33,135 --> 00:14:34,701
These pictures are gonna be great.
423
00:14:34,803 --> 00:14:35,836
Mm-hmm.
424
00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:37,471
I can feel it.
425
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:40,641
Hey, what's going on?
426
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:47,948
Sorry, I just got a text.
427
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,783
Come on, you've been
giving me nothing lately,
428
00:14:49,885 --> 00:14:51,685
and I've been trying really hard.
429
00:14:51,754 --> 00:14:53,153
You know, I just want to
connect with you,
430
00:14:53,255 --> 00:14:55,656
but you just keep pushing me away.
431
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,357
You know what?
432
00:14:57,426 --> 00:14:59,993
Why don't you tell me one thing
you wish I knew about you?
433
00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:02,095
Or one thing you wish I would stop doing
434
00:15:02,197 --> 00:15:03,463
that drives you crazy?
435
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:07,935
Can I just... text you the answer later?
436
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,938
Like, not in public with people watching
437
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,406
in the cool mall?
438
00:15:12,508 --> 00:15:14,741
Well, it was official.
439
00:15:14,843 --> 00:15:16,109
I was out.
440
00:15:16,211 --> 00:15:19,613
Now I was just some chump
in the cool mall
441
00:15:19,715 --> 00:15:21,949
getting dumped by a 13-year-old.
442
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,351
I know how it feels, brother.
443
00:15:24,453 --> 00:15:27,020
Bring it in.
444
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,141
- Thank you, brother.
- Mm-hmm.
445
00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:34,750
Thank you.
446
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,858
I waited for Diane's text for hours.
447
00:15:37,944 --> 00:15:41,147
I was attached to my phone
like a teenager on Instagram,
448
00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:44,269
but the only "like"
I needed was Diane's.
449
00:15:44,324 --> 00:15:46,144
Oof. I know that look.
450
00:15:46,199 --> 00:15:47,532
Postmates is late?
451
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:49,148
Don't go too hard on the driver.
452
00:15:49,217 --> 00:15:50,800
The gig economy is tough.
453
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,518
No, Diane was supposed
to send me a text,
454
00:15:52,587 --> 00:15:54,048
- and it hasn't come through.
- Mm.
455
00:15:54,134 --> 00:15:56,126
You know, maybe one of
the satellites are down.
456
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:59,609
- Uh, send me a test text.
- Oh, sure.
457
00:15:59,677 --> 00:16:00,777
Um...
458
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,279
Done.
459
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,816
Eh...
460
00:16:06,885 --> 00:16:08,217
"Thirsty much?"
461
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,886
Nice, Jack.
462
00:16:09,954 --> 00:16:11,687
All right, my relationship
with Diane is on the line
463
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:12,789
and you got jokes?
464
00:16:12,857 --> 00:16:14,590
Yeah, well, maybe her phone's broken.
465
00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:16,192
She's probably just busy.
466
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:18,628
Oh, that's her.
467
00:16:18,696 --> 00:16:20,897
She's bored, and she wants to hang out.
468
00:16:20,999 --> 00:16:22,065
Ouch.
469
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:24,100
- So, she texts you and not me.
- Mm.
470
00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,135
Can't she see the effort
that I'm putting in?
471
00:16:27,238 --> 00:16:28,471
You know what? I'm done with this.
472
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,106
I'm tired of my heart being stomped on.
473
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:31,307
Your call, chief.
474
00:16:31,376 --> 00:16:32,442
All right, you just make sure
475
00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:34,377
you let me know when
she gets married, I guess.
476
00:16:34,446 --> 00:16:37,013
And ask her if she wants me
to walk her down the aisle.
477
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,214
Oh, well, I mean, I'm...
478
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:40,583
Obviously, I'll be walking her
down the aisle.
479
00:16:40,685 --> 00:16:41,845
What?
480
00:16:41,939 --> 00:16:43,697
I'm sorry, is this all
new information to you?
481
00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:45,721
- Yes.
- Oh, I'll just let you sit with it.
482
00:16:45,824 --> 00:16:47,723
Because it is happening.
483
00:16:52,019 --> 00:16:53,084
Hey, sweetie.
484
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,001
I finished your ChoreBoaring.
485
00:16:56,063 --> 00:16:57,433
- Oh.
- Here you go.
486
00:16:57,502 --> 00:16:59,587
- Thank you.
- And it wasn't easy.
487
00:16:59,641 --> 00:17:02,772
- Oh.
- And it wasn't fun.
488
00:17:02,841 --> 00:17:04,574
It was hard.
489
00:17:04,642 --> 00:17:06,409
- And it was terrible.
- Mm-hmm.
490
00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:07,944
And I've discovered that
the only thing I'm good at
491
00:17:08,012 --> 00:17:09,912
- is putting people to sleep.
- Aw.
492
00:17:10,014 --> 00:17:12,448
- Hey, you also wake them up.
- Eh.
493
00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:13,950
It's the most important part, right?
494
00:17:14,052 --> 00:17:15,118
Yeah.
495
00:17:15,186 --> 00:17:16,953
By the way, I was wrong
to be embarrassed.
496
00:17:17,055 --> 00:17:19,722
After doing your job for an entire day,
497
00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:23,092
I know that you work 10 times harder
498
00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:25,128
than any of those doctors' children.
499
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:26,295
Really?
500
00:17:26,364 --> 00:17:28,197
Yeah. And hey...
501
00:17:29,501 --> 00:17:30,833
Can I tell you a secret?
502
00:17:30,869 --> 00:17:33,870
- Getting into med school isn't that hard.
- What?
503
00:17:33,972 --> 00:17:36,172
There are a ton of doctors
504
00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:37,707
who are dumb.
505
00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:39,876
H-How many is a ton?
506
00:17:39,944 --> 00:17:41,344
That's not the point, sweetheart.
507
00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:42,945
I am proud of you,
508
00:17:42,981 --> 00:17:45,481
and it doesn't matter
what you do for a living.
509
00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:48,217
Thanks, Mom.
510
00:17:48,286 --> 00:17:51,154
But, like... like, surgeons?
511
00:17:51,222 --> 00:17:53,923
Are... Are there dumb surgeons?
512
00:17:55,426 --> 00:17:58,261
I decided to write my daughter off.
513
00:17:58,296 --> 00:18:01,898
It felt harsh, but I had to
remember it was her fault.
514
00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:03,933
I wasn't gonna beat myself up.
515
00:18:04,002 --> 00:18:05,935
Four out of five kids ain't bad.
516
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:08,237
- Mm. Morning, babe.
- Oh, hi. Morning.
517
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,406
Diane.
518
00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:12,175
Good morning, Dad.
519
00:18:12,277 --> 00:18:13,276
Is it?
520
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:14,911
- Dad's being weird.
- Yeah.
521
00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:15,978
I'm gonna go upstairs.
522
00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:17,116
All right. Bye, sweetheart.
523
00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:18,247
Bye.
524
00:18:18,272 --> 00:18:19,248
Mm-hmm.
525
00:18:22,353 --> 00:18:25,555
I just had the most amazing
conversation with Diane.
526
00:18:25,657 --> 00:18:27,451
Don't care. She's dead to me.
527
00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:29,692
Come on, Dre.
528
00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:31,294
Guess what she told me?
529
00:18:31,362 --> 00:18:33,629
That she wanted to be raised in
a single-parent household?
530
00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:34,864
No, no, no, no, no, no.
531
00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:36,766
And then he chained the kids
inside the school,
532
00:18:36,868 --> 00:18:38,000
which I thought was crazy,
533
00:18:38,102 --> 00:18:39,769
but Dad explained he was
trying to protect them
534
00:18:39,871 --> 00:18:41,170
from the outside world.
535
00:18:41,272 --> 00:18:44,006
- Joe Clark was tough, but fair.
- Oh, yeah.
536
00:18:44,075 --> 00:18:45,208
That's the kind of principal
I want to be
537
00:18:45,276 --> 00:18:46,375
- when I grow up.
- Aww.
538
00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:48,311
Except for the fair part.
539
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:50,346
The movie's a hundred years old,
540
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,148
- but it's still so fresh.
- Not a hundred years old...
541
00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,516
Do you let people boss you around
542
00:18:53,585 --> 00:18:54,850
when you know
you're doing the right thing?
543
00:18:54,953 --> 00:18:57,053
When do you stand up for yourself?
544
00:18:57,121 --> 00:18:59,121
I get why it's Dad's favorite.
545
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:01,290
You know, I think I'm gonna
start carrying a baseball bat
546
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,526
- around school.
- What?
547
00:19:03,628 --> 00:19:04,860
I broke through.
548
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:07,863
- I caught the wave!
- Yeah, you did!
549
00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:10,967
Now you got to ride it
as long as you can, Dre.
550
00:19:11,035 --> 00:19:12,501
- But you got to do two things.
- Hmm?
551
00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:14,070
- Be patient.
- Mm-hmm.
552
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:15,817
And listen to me.
553
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:18,274
Yeah... that's gonna be impossible.
554
00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:20,343
You do remember the guy
you married, right?
555
00:19:20,445 --> 00:19:21,811
I know.
556
00:19:21,913 --> 00:19:23,379
But sometimes I hope.
557
00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:27,516
- But for Diane, I will do anything.
- Mm-hmm.
558
00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:29,806
It's nice to know
559
00:19:29,838 --> 00:19:31,821
- that my little girl is listening to me.
- Mm-hmm.
560
00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,458
Even if she keeps her ear buds in.
561
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,859
Yeah, you keep this up Dre,
562
00:19:36,961 --> 00:19:39,161
and you might be able to
walk her down the aisle...
563
00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:41,030
with Jack.
564
00:19:41,199 --> 00:19:43,821
So, maybe our relationship
565
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,168
wasn't going to be easy for a while.
566
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,770
But that's okay.
567
00:19:47,872 --> 00:19:49,705
I had a feeling
568
00:19:49,807 --> 00:19:51,895
we were going to figure it out.
569
00:19:53,011 --> 00:19:54,377
Hey, Dad.
570
00:19:54,479 --> 00:19:56,078
There's nothing I'd change about the way
571
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:57,713
you embarrass me in public.
572
00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,315
I may not always make it easy,
573
00:19:59,417 --> 00:20:00,950
but I'll always be your daughter.
574
00:20:05,576 --> 00:20:06,942
Don't be weird about it.
575
00:20:08,826 --> 00:20:10,192
Okay!
576
00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:11,861
I won't!
577
00:20:16,254 --> 00:20:18,066
- Hey.
- Morning, Doctor.
578
00:20:19,358 --> 00:20:20,391
Oh.
579
00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:21,495
Hey.
580
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,127
Hi.
581
00:20:23,517 --> 00:20:25,150
How's your son feeling about school?
582
00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:26,230
How's that going?
583
00:20:26,332 --> 00:20:28,558
It... It was a... There was
a little misunderstanding.
584
00:20:28,652 --> 00:20:30,385
Yeah... Yeah, it turns out
that he was, uh,
585
00:20:30,487 --> 00:20:33,088
selling meds to med students.
586
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,323
It was at UCLA, though.
587
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:36,558
What I really wish I had
588
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:37,959
was someone to pick him up from jail
589
00:20:38,061 --> 00:20:40,457
- and take him to rehab.
- Oh! I have someone.
590
00:20:41,919 --> 00:20:42,949
Tch, tch.
591
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,332
Yeah. Tch, tch, tch, tch.
592
00:20:45,151 --> 00:20:50,151
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www.addic7ed.com