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America... Land of the free
and home of the brave.
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Emphasis on "home."
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Because we are the worst at vacations.
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52% of Americans don't even use
all their vacation days.
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We're workaholics.
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Our jobs don't necessarily
encourage time away.
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Well, I'll only be gone for six days.
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You won't even miss me.
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- Sure. Take your vacation, Dre.
- All right.
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Hey, uh, Josh, can you bring me
that Malik fellow's résumé?
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The one with the, uh, flashy sweaters
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who's desperate
to get a foot in the door.
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Hey, don't worry about that.
That has nothing to do with you.
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Or does it?
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Have a great trip, Dre.
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But in the Johnson family,
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we know how important it is
to have a work-life balance,
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so we were going to get our vacation.
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Mm! Bam!
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Look at that, baby. Huh?
Too much or not enough? Huh?
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Hey, don't... don't worry about it.
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I'm bringing it.
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Why aren't you packing a bag yet?
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Because I have to move 10 surgeries,
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find someone to watch the dog,
call the kids' school...
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Come on, Bow,
you're off the clock, baby.
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- Put a questionable bathing suit
- Never.
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in the bag and let's go!
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It's México.
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That's right.
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México.
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We're talking sun, fun, and relaxation.
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Unfortunately,
the plane, ferry, and taxi
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to get there almost killed us.
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Come on.
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We made it.
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Bienvenidos.
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Johnsons checking in, please.
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Can we please go to the pool
to wash off the airplane stink?
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Okay, hold on a second.
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I want to hit the game room,
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play some foosball, hustle some chumps.
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I said hold on a second.
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Can I get a spa pass while you
guys work out the formalities?
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I am carrying
a lot of Stevens & Lido stress,
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and I need a big-handed Swede
to make me right.
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No one is going anywhere
until we check in.
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- Hello.
- Hi!
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I have your reservation right here.
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- Oh, thank you.
- Ohh!
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But unfortunately, your rooms
won't be ready till 4:00.
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Ohh. Interesting choice to pick a flight
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that arrived two hours
before check-in time.
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Enough! Okay?!
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I cashed in most of my personal days
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so we could take this vacation,
and we will enjoy it together!
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Now...
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let's have some fun, okay?
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Okay.
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I said, are we gonna have some fun?
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- Yes, sir.
- All the fun!
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Damn straight.
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This is actually the best start
to a vacation we have ever had.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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06x13 - Kid Life Crisis
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There's no chairs!
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Why are there no chairs?
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Just look and see
if somebody's getting up.
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Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!
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There's three. There's three.
Move, move, move. Go.
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Three? T-There's six of us.
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You shared a womb.
You can share a chair.
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Go, go, go!
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Goodness.
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- Oh, God.
- Ugh.
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These chairs are by the bathroom.
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I know. It stinks. It's disgusting.
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Dad, can you talk to someone?
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Who? The Chair Wizard?
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All right, you know what?
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We're staking claim
right here, all right?
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Circle the wagons.
This is now Johnsonville!
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- Johnsonville.
- Man, we really need this, Mom,
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- don't we?
- Yes.
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I mean, you have been stuck
in wall-to-wall surgeries,
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and sometimes Stevens & Lido
keeps me till, like, 6:30.
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Yeah. Basically the same job.
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You know, I am glad you see the hustle.
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- Mm-hmm.
- All right, I'm gonna go do a lap.
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Oh. So, when are we gonna hit
the resort water park?
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What?
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We just sat down.
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But they got an insane slide
called the Lemon Drop.
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- It has 32 loops.
- Ooh!
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They won't even let you on
if you have a full bladder.
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I just carried half of the room
down here.
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I haven't even had a chance
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to make fun
of white people's sunburn yet.
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Come on, Dad. Please?
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Come on! It's a family vacation!
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That's what you do on a family vacation.
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It'll be fun!
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Okay! Okay. Give me five minutes,
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all right, so I can pick out
my sunburn champs.
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Oh, thank you so much.
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You're on the clock.
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Come on, Devante.
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Let's go.
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- Thanks, Diane.
- Mm-hmm.
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- Babe.
- Huh?
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Look at that couple over there
by the stairs.
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They're not on the clock.
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They're too Black and sexy
to worry about time.
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They look like us
during the three seconds
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00:04:05,061 --> 00:04:07,362
between when we met
and when we had kids.
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- That was a great three seconds, babe.
- So good, Dre.
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What happened to our Black and sexy?
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I don't know.
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Now we're just Black and tired.
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They look like they're having
such a nice vacation.
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You know what?
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We could probably get a little
of what they have.
123
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What do you mean?
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You know, who says the vacation
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has to always be about the kids?
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- Well, I mean...
- You know what?
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We can take them to the nice restaurant.
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The kids are old enough.
Devante's off the boob.
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- You're right.
- Mm.
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We are paying for this vacation.
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- We should do what we want to do.
- Exactly.
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The perfect vacation starts no...
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Stand back and watch
the King of Corn Hole
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toss his bag.
135
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Ooh!
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Looks like the King of Corn Hole
needs to work on his aim.
137
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I'm used to two-pound bags.
138
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I'm so sorry about that.
139
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If you wanted to meet me,
you could've just said "hello."
140
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I'm Lily.
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00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:57,011
Andre.
142
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So, what are you doing here?
143
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Besides throwing bean bags at strangers?
144
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Well, I work at a pretty intense job
145
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,851
in the ad industry.
146
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You know, grinding.
147
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But, you know, sometimes it's important
148
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to set your e-mail to "out of office,"
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kick back, and reward yourself
for all of your successes.
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- Our mom and dad brought us here.
- Mm-hmm.
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Both of those things can be true.
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It's okay,
I'm here with my family, too.
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Maybe we could ditch our families
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and meet up at the club later?
155
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I got to check my schedule.
156
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The only thing on your schedule
is dinner with your parents.
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Mm.
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Well, maybe I'll catch up
with you later, then.
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Yeah. You will.
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Try not to bean any other girls
between now and then.
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Why, Diane?
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Why?
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It's my vacation, too, Andre.
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After 10 water slides,
three shave ice runs,
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and five minutes where Devante
locked himself in the bathroom,
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Bow and I were thrilled to sit down
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for a nice, civilized dinner
with the entire family.
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Uh, I don't see butter noodles anywhere.
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- Mm.
- Come on, Jack.
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This is a nice place, man.
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Try something new.
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I'm just saying... they've got
butter, they've got noodles.
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I'm just gonna ask them
to make it off menu.
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We can pay the upcharge.
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Pshew, pshew.
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Why does the piano guy keep playing jazz?
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Yo, Elton John!
Do you know Post Malone?!
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- Post Malone!
- Hey!
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00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:21,358
Can we just enjoy this dinner
as a family?
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00:06:21,444 --> 00:06:24,365
- Yes.
- Welp, it is about that time.
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I am gonna go meet Lily
at Club Coronado.
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She's got daddy issues
and I've got understanding eyes.
183
00:06:30,249 --> 00:06:31,282
No!
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Sit your ass down.
185
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All we wanted was
one nice family dinner,
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and you guys can't even
let us have that.
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- We did everything you wanted.
- Everything.
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- Water parks.
- Ugh.
189
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- Shaved ice stations.
- Pfft.
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00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:50,051
Horseback riding on the beach.
191
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,694
Yeah, because family vacations
are about the kids.
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00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:55,196
- What?
- Come on. You know the score, dawg.
193
00:06:55,298 --> 00:06:56,497
Y'all are terrorists.
194
00:06:56,599 --> 00:06:57,598
And you know what?
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00:06:57,701 --> 00:07:01,069
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
196
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,605
We are done catering to your demands.
197
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,574
You don't deserve this vacation.
198
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,842
- We do.
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:09,777
Yeah. You kids.
200
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:11,979
You just don't understand.
201
00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:13,381
Unh-unh.
202
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:15,316
You are one of them.
203
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:17,103
And you know
what we're about to do, Junior?
204
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,571
We are dumping
all of your siblings on you
205
00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:25,176
so your mom and I can go see
whatever Club Coronado is.
206
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,979
Dad I've got to go
see about a girl.
207
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,580
- Mom...
- Hey!
208
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:30,715
Look at me.
209
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,453
You are the parent now.
210
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:39,423
And as of this moment,
your mom and I are on vacation.
211
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:42,593
- How do you like that score, dawg?
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:43,844
And don't even think about running,
213
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,993
- because we have your passports.
- Yeah.
214
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,929
So, we ditched our kids in favor of
215
00:07:49,999 --> 00:07:53,122
an adult rendezvous at Club Coronado.
216
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,473
- This place is sexy.
- Yeah, it is.
217
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:58,036
I feel like I'm on The Rock's Instagram.
218
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,522
- To us.
- Mm.
219
00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:04,996
To us being out at night
and looking so good.
220
00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:06,035
Mm!
221
00:08:06,073 --> 00:08:09,089
And pretending that we love this mescal.
222
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,063
Oh. Well, speak for yourself.
I do love it.
223
00:08:11,961 --> 00:08:13,217
- Mm. Babe, look.
- Mm?
224
00:08:13,257 --> 00:08:14,615
There's that other
Black couple... you know,
225
00:08:14,692 --> 00:08:17,460
the ones that look like they belong
on the cover of a fitness DVD?
226
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:20,342
Hey! Black LaLanne! Light-Skin Fonda!
227
00:08:20,397 --> 00:08:21,633
Hey, we're celebrating.
228
00:08:21,704 --> 00:08:23,156
- Come join us.
- Come over!
229
00:08:23,234 --> 00:08:24,180
- All right.
- All right.
230
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,312
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
231
00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:26,396
- How are you?
- How are you?
232
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:27,364
- All right.
- All right.
233
00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:28,684
- That's a pretty dress. Hi.
- How's it going?
234
00:08:28,753 --> 00:08:31,805
- Doing all right?
- So, what are we celebrating?
235
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,928
- Birthday? Anniversary?
- Nope.
236
00:08:34,503 --> 00:08:35,699
We abandoned our children.
237
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:36,856
- Yes, we did.
- What?
238
00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:38,067
Just for one night, though.
239
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:39,458
- Okay.
- Do not call "Dateline."
240
00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,584
- Okay, we won't.
- Okay, good.
241
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,021
This is my husband. This is Dre Johnson,
242
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,289
- and I am Dr. Rainbow Johnson.
- Hey. How are you?
243
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,981
So nice to meet you.
Tanya and Lewis Chaplin.
244
00:08:46,036 --> 00:08:49,247
So, how did you guys
abandon your children?
245
00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:50,138
Yes.
246
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:51,894
- We are on a surf trip.
- Mm-hmm.
247
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:53,591
We actually don't have kids.
248
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,647
Oh? Well, you want some?
249
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:56,964
- We have five,
- Five.
250
00:08:56,988 --> 00:08:58,035
and we don't mind giving up a few.
251
00:08:58,097 --> 00:08:59,154
- Maybe three, four.
- Yep.
252
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,066
- Mm, we're gonna pass on taking one of your children.
- Yeah, we're good.
253
00:09:01,091 --> 00:09:02,190
- Really?
- Yeah.
254
00:09:02,259 --> 00:09:04,686
But maybe you guys could help us
255
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,845
finish off this bottle
of Japanese whiskey.
256
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,346
Ohh!
257
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,272
- It is a good one.
- One second, one second.
258
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,554
- Diapers?!
- It's Junior.
259
00:09:11,616 --> 00:09:13,284
Worse than the one on the plane!
260
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,388
Had to use a tamale husk!
261
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,593
- We'll take that bottle.
- Yes! There we go.
262
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,328
Mm. All right.
263
00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:24,430
Cheers.
264
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,102
To Black faces in white spaces.
265
00:09:26,147 --> 00:09:27,156
- There it is.
- That's right.
266
00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,935
I like that. So, a surfer couple, huh?
267
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,571
Yeah. It, uh, it kind of
became our thing.
268
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,839
- Ohh.
- That's really sweet.
269
00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:35,374
- You know, we have a thing, too.
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:09:35,476 --> 00:09:36,508
Yes, we do.
271
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:39,721
So, when the kids go to bed,
we get in bed...
272
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,712
Oh.
273
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,948
...and we watch...
274
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,282
"Madam Secretary"...
275
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,685
...until we fall asleep.
276
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,488
And to be honest, we haven't
made it through an episode yet,
277
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,400
so we have no idea what
this woman is the secretary of.
278
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,194
That's hilarious.
279
00:09:55,296 --> 00:09:56,295
Oh, man.
280
00:09:56,364 --> 00:09:57,906
Uh, listen, I can't tell you
281
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,531
how happy we are that we met you guys...
282
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,034
- Ohh!
- ...but, uh, we have an early morning.
283
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,101
- No! What?
- What?
284
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,369
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yeah.
285
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,571
Believe me, there is nothing
like watching the sunrise
286
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,640
from a board 100 yards from shore.
287
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:12,144
It is like we are the only
two people in the world.
288
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,212
- Mm-hmm.
- Aww.
289
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,015
You guys have a good night. All right?
290
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,469
- So great talking to you.
- Enjoy the sunrise!
291
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,027
Thank you. We will.
292
00:10:21,129 --> 00:10:23,363
- Good night.
- Good night.
293
00:10:23,431 --> 00:10:25,198
- Baby?
- Mm?
294
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,164
I want to learn how to surf.
295
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:28,984
- Dre...
- Hmm?
296
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,880
- You don't know how to swim.
- I don't.
297
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,580
- You hate the water.
- I do.
298
00:10:32,648 --> 00:10:34,348
You have zero upper-body strength.
299
00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:36,319
Okay, I don't want to learn how to surf,
300
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,111
but I do want what Tanya and Lewis have.
301
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,148
I know, right? Come on. It's so sweet.
302
00:10:42,216 --> 00:10:44,817
- It is.
- To have something that's just for us.
303
00:10:44,886 --> 00:10:46,285
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
304
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,250
Dre, I want to
watch the sunrise with you.
305
00:10:48,289 --> 00:10:50,500
Baby, we would, if only
306
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:54,482
- it weren't so early in the morning.
- It's so early.
307
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:58,476
♪ Oh, give me the beat, boys,
and free my soul ♪
308
00:10:58,501 --> 00:10:59,801
♪ I wanna get lost... ♪
309
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,325
Thanks for being flexible.
310
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,795
I promise karaoke will be
just as fun as Club Coronado.
311
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,230
Yeah, no problem.
312
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,852
Are you sure Devante's okay?
It's kind of loud.
313
00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:11,944
Uh, yeah, no, he's... he's fine.
314
00:11:12,013 --> 00:11:13,813
He can... He can sleep through anything.
315
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,783
So... what's your song?
316
00:11:16,851 --> 00:11:19,052
Oh, I-I don't know
if I can get up there alone.
317
00:11:19,154 --> 00:11:21,387
Oh. I got you.
318
00:11:21,456 --> 00:11:24,200
Why don't we, uh, do... "Crazy in Love"?
319
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,558
It's a great duet.
320
00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:27,560
Plus, we'll put
our own little twist on it,
321
00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:29,194
and I'll do all the Beyoncé parts.
322
00:11:30,431 --> 00:11:32,798
Junior. I'm not feeling so good.
323
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,567
Well,
get Diane to take you back.
324
00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:35,968
I am working here!
325
00:11:36,037 --> 00:11:38,798
She already left. She's worse than I am.
326
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,590
She ralphed in one of the plants.
327
00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,592
It's okay if your brother's sick
and you need to go.
328
00:11:42,694 --> 00:11:43,793
Nah, he's fine.
329
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:46,481
Just start practicing saying "So crazy."
330
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:51,352
Go back to the room
and choke down a ginger ale.
331
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,743
- From the minibar?
- Yes!
332
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,147
Dad'll kill us.
333
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,573
Please take me back.
334
00:11:56,741 --> 00:11:58,040
All right.
335
00:11:59,057 --> 00:12:00,011
You know what?
336
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:03,448
Why don't we, uh, take this back
to my semi-private patio?
337
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,040
- We've got...
- Just find me tomorrow.
338
00:12:06,176 --> 00:12:09,404
What... No, no. I-I can save this.
339
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,696
He's... He's fine.
He's doing... He's doing great.
340
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:15,743
Jack?
341
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,061
Bow and I finally had
342
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:19,871
a real vacation moment at Club Coronado,
343
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,206
and the next day,
we tried to stay in it.
344
00:12:22,267 --> 00:12:24,385
Last night was so much fun, Dre.
345
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,776
I don't remember the last time
346
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,411
that I saw you do the Running Man.
347
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,646
- Wow.
- Yeah!
348
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:29,680
- I did that?
- Ooh!
349
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,348
Oh, well, somebody had some fun.
350
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,883
Oh, we had a ball.
351
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,834
- Here comes the tall one.
- Oh, God.
352
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,822
Guys, I don't think the twins
are getting any better.
353
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,858
Didn't I see Jack at breakfast
this morning?
354
00:12:44,881 --> 00:12:48,476
He ruined $100 worth of eggs.
355
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:49,634
Pbbbbbbht.
356
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,496
And I checked up on Diane,
357
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,087
and she was too weak to insult me.
358
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:55,890
Jack and Diane just have a cold.
359
00:12:55,959 --> 00:12:56,858
You got this.
360
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:58,160
- But...
- No buts!
361
00:12:58,185 --> 00:12:59,804
Junior...
362
00:13:00,254 --> 00:13:02,924
I go to the hospital,
and I work my ass off,
363
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,415
and then I come back home,
364
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,684
and I work my ass off for you kids,
365
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,085
but you know what?
366
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:11,232
My ass is done working itself off.
367
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,557
Damn it, I love you.
368
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,558
- Hey, babe?
- Hmm?
369
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,026
Should we go to the restaurant tonight
370
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,489
and spend stupid amounts
of money on each other?
371
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,348
Seafood tower?
372
00:13:21,618 --> 00:13:23,351
And truffle mac and cheese.
373
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:25,353
Boom! Sorry, Junior.
You're watching the kids.
374
00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:28,324
Tonight, Daddy's gonna get indigestion.
375
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,916
And Mommy's gonna feed Daddy Tums
376
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,879
like they're grapes.
377
00:13:34,388 --> 00:13:36,522
- Begone!
- Au revoir!
378
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:40,467
Our romantic adult dinner
did not disappoint.
379
00:13:40,536 --> 00:13:43,504
We were making the most
of our quality time together.
380
00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:45,105
- Oh, hey, babe.
- What?
381
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:47,141
- Directly behind you...
- Okay.
382
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,843
...there is a sister-wife situation.
383
00:13:49,945 --> 00:13:51,556
- Stop it, Dre.
- Turn around.
384
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,548
Okay. Hold on. Ready?
Right behind, right?
385
00:13:55,552 --> 00:13:57,285
Mm. Oh...
386
00:13:57,387 --> 00:13:58,820
- Mm?
- No.
387
00:13:58,888 --> 00:13:59,987
- What?
- No.
388
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,156
That is a husband, a wife,
and a daughter.
389
00:14:02,225 --> 00:14:06,094
Fathers don't feed daughters
oysters, Bow.
390
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:08,896
Oh, my God.
391
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:10,867
Oh, my God.
392
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:13,077
I'm enjoying you so much right now.
393
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,736
Oh, baby, I know.
This is uncut Bow/Dre magic.
394
00:14:15,838 --> 00:14:17,238
- Yes, it is.
- Ohh.
395
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,907
Makes me want to cut it into
rocks and sell it near a school.
396
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,510
- Hey, babe.
- Yeah?
397
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,078
- Let's run away.
- Ooh.
398
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:26,480
Let's go on one of those trips
we've always planned on going to
399
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:27,715
but never got around to doing.
400
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,811
You know what? Let's go to Paris.
401
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:32,779
Yes.
402
00:14:32,848 --> 00:14:34,180
- Oui?
- Oui, oui.
403
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,517
We can plan it
for our next Christmas break.
404
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:38,651
Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.
405
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,253
We could do New Year's Eve
at the Eiffel Tower.
406
00:14:40,322 --> 00:14:42,188
Can you imagine Devante
with a little beret?
407
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,723
Stop it right now. Close every door.
408
00:14:43,825 --> 00:14:44,924
- No. No.
- What?
409
00:14:45,026 --> 00:14:46,569
- Let's go now.
- What?
410
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,227
Because if we plan it,
w-we'll put it off
411
00:14:48,329 --> 00:14:50,529
and keep waiting until Devante's
out of the house.
412
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,750
By then, we'll be my parents' age.
413
00:14:53,701 --> 00:14:55,668
Let's go to Paris next weekend.
414
00:14:55,753 --> 00:14:57,086
Just you and me.
415
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,897
No water slides,
no... no butter noodles,
416
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:03,219
no negotiating an hour here and there.
417
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,502
Come on, Bow. What do you say?
418
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,605
We can't do that.
419
00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:09,573
What?
420
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,275
Dre, I wish it was that easy,
421
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,310
but we don't have that kind of life.
422
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,779
Yes, we do have that kind of life.
423
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:16,983
Mm...
424
00:15:17,859 --> 00:15:18,959
no, we don't.
425
00:15:19,061 --> 00:15:20,737
Okay, well, let's make it...
426
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:23,396
Okay. I'm just, uh...
427
00:15:23,498 --> 00:15:24,664
I have a filet for the lady.
428
00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:27,067
- T-Thank you so much. Thank you.
- There you go.
429
00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:28,401
- And for the gentleman...
- You know what?
430
00:15:28,503 --> 00:15:30,270
I've, uh...
431
00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:32,723
- I've suddenly lost my appetite.
- Uh...
432
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,124
Uh, please send my French fries
to the pool.
433
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:47,378
Hello, man-baby.
434
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,831
I'm sorry I left.
435
00:15:52,555 --> 00:15:53,921
How was your steak?
436
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,354
I dropped it on the ground.
437
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,492
And they sent my fries to another pool.
438
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:09,033
I would love to go to Paris with you.
439
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,002
And I love that you made
such a romantic gesture.
440
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:14,029
But going away, just the two of us...
441
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,042
it feels selfish.
442
00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:19,668
It...
443
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:22,229
- We both love our kids.
- Mm-hmm.
444
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:25,305
And we love spending time all together.
445
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,763
But it's not selfish to want
some alone time as a couple.
446
00:16:29,831 --> 00:16:32,298
I know, Dre, but I already deal
with so much guilt
447
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,601
when I'm away from the kids
even if it's for work.
448
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,835
Why?
449
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,745
Our kids need us to work,
450
00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:39,613
and I don't feel guilt because of that.
451
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:41,496
Because you're not a working mother.
452
00:16:42,551 --> 00:16:44,885
Dre, please, try to understand.
453
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:47,855
When I go to work,
it feels like me time.
454
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,194
So when I spend any other time
away from the kids,
455
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:54,621
even if it's with you,
it just feels selfish.
456
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,157
Look, I love that after 20 years,
457
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,391
you still get upset
458
00:16:58,493 --> 00:17:02,128
that we don't spend
enough time alone together.
459
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,188
And we will go to Paris.
460
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,926
I just need you to meet me halfway.
461
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,137
Atlanta?
462
00:17:09,303 --> 00:17:10,636
Oh, my God.
463
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,005
Your jokes are so bad.
464
00:17:13,107 --> 00:17:14,773
No, babe, we're gonna go to Paris,
465
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,141
but we got to bring the kids.
466
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:17,643
And then we can just promise each other
467
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:22,147
that we're gonna get two dinners alone.
468
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,448
Can the kids fly coach?
469
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:25,617
I mean, they don't even
have to sit together.
470
00:17:25,686 --> 00:17:27,953
They can all have middle seats,
for all I care.
471
00:17:28,055 --> 00:17:30,856
Okay. Well, then, Paris, here we come.
472
00:17:31,409 --> 00:17:34,944
But in the meantime, why don't
we go back up to the room,
473
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,180
slip into something
a little more comfortable...
474
00:17:37,249 --> 00:17:38,948
- Okay.
- ...and...
475
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,350
watch "Madam Secretary"?
476
00:17:40,585 --> 00:17:42,118
Did you know that in this country,
477
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,388
they call it "Señora Gobierna"?
478
00:17:45,457 --> 00:17:46,623
Mm!
479
00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:49,059
I'm gonna give you a five-second
head start to the room.
480
00:17:49,161 --> 00:17:49,926
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
481
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,088
- Okay.
- Starting now.
482
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,133
Starting now. One...
483
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,090
- Five...
- Mm-hmm.
484
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:53,957
...four...
485
00:17:53,982 --> 00:17:55,216
- Excuse me, sir.
- ...three...
486
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,092
- Excuse me.
- ...two...
487
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,060
- Oh.
- ...one.
488
00:17:57,085 --> 00:17:58,659
Too late! I got you!
489
00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:03,430
Whew. Feel like a whole new man.
490
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,482
Thanks for taking
such good care of me, Junior.
491
00:18:09,363 --> 00:18:11,396
I didn't know my eyes could shiver.
492
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,398
Oh, no. You're sick?
493
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,101
You sneezed in my mouth!
494
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:21,200
Oh, wait, wait, Jack, just...
please, just stay with me.
495
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,026
Eh, put something simple on the TV.
496
00:18:24,095 --> 00:18:26,161
I wonder what Bob and Abishola
are up to.
497
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,529
Well, I would love to,
498
00:18:27,598 --> 00:18:29,765
but Diane said the buffet has
unlimited chicken fingers,
499
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:31,500
so you do the math.
500
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,335
I stayed with you.
501
00:18:33,437 --> 00:18:35,237
I cared for you.
502
00:18:35,306 --> 00:18:39,176
I turned down a moonlit walk
on the beach with Lily
503
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,828
to be by your side!
504
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,728
Well, that's on you, playboy.
505
00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:46,709
Well, eh, before you leave, I mean...
506
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:47,941
can you at least...
507
00:18:50,246 --> 00:18:52,680
I'm gonna sneeze on his toothbrush.
508
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:56,717
Most of us don't take enough time away,
509
00:18:56,819 --> 00:18:58,052
which is a shame,
510
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,156
because you can learn
a lot about yourself.
511
00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:02,222
Oh, hey. Johnsons, checking out.
512
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:05,259
Jet Skis and buffets?
I think I found my brand.
513
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:06,593
I'm this guy now.
514
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:09,063
I'm just glad I talked you out
of getting your hair braided.
515
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:15,469
I just don't understand why
we couldn't have used that cart.
516
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,737
Andre.
517
00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:19,540
I'm glad I caught you before you left.
518
00:19:19,608 --> 00:19:20,941
I know it didn't work out here,
519
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:23,243
but maybe we could
get together sometime.
520
00:19:23,604 --> 00:19:25,371
Yeah. I'm... I'm down.
521
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,956
You live in South LA, right?
522
00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:28,858
Yep. Southern Louisiana.
523
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,981
But my mom caught my dad
sexting his periodontist,
524
00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:34,063
so he's taking all of us
to Disneyland next summer.
525
00:19:34,165 --> 00:19:35,264
Really?
526
00:19:35,366 --> 00:19:36,499
Yeah.
527
00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:40,603
Hot Boy Next Summer.
528
00:19:40,705 --> 00:19:42,554
Mm! Let's go.
529
00:19:42,609 --> 00:19:45,141
So, we can surf the 5-foot
swells 10 minutes from here,
530
00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:48,329
but there's 8-foot swells
20 minutes from here.
531
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,420
When we agreed
to make surfing our thing,
532
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,023
the deal was you weren't gonna
get all "Lewis" about it.
533
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,893
I don't know what that means.
Why would you say that?
534
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,329
And what we learned was that
we can have a wonderful time,
535
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,165
both alone and with our kids.
536
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,935
You ready to get back to the grind?
537
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,870
It's not so bad.
538
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,306
Thank you for your stay,
Dr. and Mr. Johnson.
539
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,074
Would you like to purchase
the robes and towels
540
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:13,010
that the staff reported missing
from your room?
541
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,113
You might want to charge
us for a pair of slippers, too.
542
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,115
We also took those.
543
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,716
Hey, hey, hey.
544
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:20,918
After you, Doctor.
545
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,352
- Oh, you got that?
- Mm-hmm.
546
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:23,420
Mm.
547
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,288
Welcome back, Dre. Boy, did we miss you.
548
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:34,787
We had to name a Black character
in an ad we were doing,
549
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,865
and Josh got a little loose with it.
550
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,811
Uh... Jerome, Tookie,
and, uh... De'Nickashaw.
551
00:20:41,882 --> 00:20:43,818
I don't know any better.
552
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,476
Hey, how was your trip?
553
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:47,410
Love hearing about family vacations.
554
00:20:47,473 --> 00:20:49,049
Never got to go on one.
555
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,324
Oh, uh, my family vacation was great.
556
00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:54,648
Yeah, I got to spend some good
quality time with my family.
557
00:20:54,673 --> 00:20:55,756
Good. Nice.
558
00:20:55,781 --> 00:20:57,783
Well, it sounds like
a well-earned break.
559
00:20:57,817 --> 00:20:59,648
Ah, hey! Lucy!
560
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,148
- You work here again?
- Yeah. I'm back.
561
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,817
Yeah. Um, about that.
562
00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:06,652
Now that Dre's here,
563
00:21:06,686 --> 00:21:10,557
we no longer need, um, an "other," so...
564
00:21:10,590 --> 00:21:11,891
Well...
565
00:21:11,923 --> 00:21:13,160
lawsuit's back on.
566
00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:16,962
I just have to say,
working with you guys
567
00:21:16,996 --> 00:21:18,454
has been a complete disaster,
568
00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:22,344
and I hope you die and have
shallow graves!
569
00:21:22,394 --> 00:21:23,663
She seems good.